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Kanojo, Okarishimasu Ep. 2: Digging a deeper hole

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These characters just can’t help themselves.

— Even though Kazuya bumps into Chizuru on campus, he tries to convince himself that it’s not really her. He would’ve just brushed the encounter aside, but the girl goes and confirms her identity to him. She has terrible luck.

— Then of course, they find out that they’re actually next door neighbors. I’m surprised that they are so surprised. After all, even though I don’t actually talk to my next door neighbors, I still know what they look like. And yet, these two have never bumped into each until now?

— Apparently, even obasans can get hooked on these shitty mobile games. Y’know, I tried a few of those gacha games just to see what all the hype was about. Fate Grand Order, Fire Emblem Heroes, Azur Lane, you name it! And not surprisingly, I got bored with every single one of them within half an hour. The gameplay is just so unappealing, and I really have no desire to collect waifus.

— Anyways, Kazuya’s grandmother is dropping by, and she wants to see Chizuru. Um, okay? I mean, that’s kind of demanding. Is your grandson’s girlfriend supposed to drop everything she’s doing just to see you? The old woman didn’t even schedule this ahead of time. Well, maybe that’s on purpose. Maybe she has a hunch that a girl like Chizuru wouldn’t stick with her idiot grandson, so she wants to catch him with his pants down. Nevertheless, it seems rather inconsiderate.

— Kazuya could easily get himself out of this. Easily. But naturally, he tries to beg Chizuru to play the role just one more time, and at first, she refuses. She even gives him a perfectly good excuse: she has to finish a report. So why didn’t he just use that? Why didn’t he just tell his grandmother that his girlfriend, who is also a college student, has work that she needs to get done? What reasonable grandmother wouldn’t buy that?

— But instead, Kazuya sits there uselessly, telling his grandmother that he has no clue when Chizuru will come over. I know it has only been like… one and a quarter episodes, but this guy doesn’t really have any good traits. He’s dumb, shallow, and a proven liar! He’s also hung up on a ex-girlfriend that he only dated for a month.

— Eventually, Kazuya’s grandmother just comes right out and admits that she expected Chizuru to dump him. She then goes on and on about how her grandson is hopeless when it comes to girls, and it makes her so sad that he will never get with someone. Meanwhile, Chizuru is eavesdropping on this conversation (for shame, young woman!), so she starts to feel bad. Since her own grandmother is struggling with health issues, I guess she has a soft spot for obasans in general.

— As a result, she comes over just to make Kazuya’s grandmother happy. But this is stupid, because she and Kazuya keep digging themselves a deeper and deeper hole. She insists that they need to announce their breakup at some point, but that’s yet another lie! It’s like telling someone digging a hole to start digging up. No, you gotta stop digging altogether, stupid!

— Kazuya has to visit his grandmother every Wednesday, and now the old woman expects Chizuru to come with him as well. That’s a little unreasonable, isn’t it? Maybe they do things differently in Japan, but it’s insane to ask your grandson’s new girlfriend to visit you weekly.

— Of course, Chizuru doesn’t have to agree to this, but she does. She’s still getting paid, and money is money. Nevertheless, this situation has the potential to blow up in her face, and yet she presses on. She’s either one of those people who feel the need to mother helpless losers like Kazuya, or she constantly feels the need to help others even at her own expense. Either way, it doesn’t seem healthy.

— Soon after, Kazuya bumps into Mami on campus, and his obsession continues. Then afterwards, he thinks about her legs and almost masturbates over it. If Chizuru didn’t remind him that he needed to see his grandmother, he would’ve jerked off right there and then. Dude, Mami just wasn’t into you. Not only that, they dated for a month! A moooooooonth! Still hung up on someone you dated for over a year? Sure. Hung up on someone whom you’ve shared so many precious memories with? Sure! A month, though? Get help, bro.

— The hole gets deeper and deeper when the “couple” bumps into his friends. Naturally, they don’t actually recognize Chizuru. She’s like Clark Kent, I guess.

— Even Kazuya’s best buds can’t believe for a second that he could date someone like Chizuru. In fact, they think she’s just a scammer out to get their buddy. So again, the girl keeps the lie going. She sees a puppy in danger — and not even a cute, wholesome puppy, mind you — so she just can’t help herself.

— His friends invite him to a drinking party, and even though Chizuru is shaking her head at him, he agrees to it anyway. He could’ve easily said that he and his “girlfriend” already had plans, but he didn’t. Hell, she could’ve done that too. She could’ve just reminded him that they already have dinner reservations or whatever. But neither of them are very good at thinking on their feet, so off to the drinking party we go!

— So of course, Mami is at the party. Kazuya is gross, so he can’t help but ogle his ex-girlfriend in front of his “current girlfriend”. And like every other previous encounters with Mami, he goes and gets an erection. I haven’t heard this guy say one nice thing about Mami’s personality. Apparently, she’s just hot, and that’s what he’s hung up on.

— When he gets back to the drinking party, he finds Mami sitting across from Chizuru. His ex starts rattling off a long list of negative things about him. In her eyes, he’s just a complete loser, and y’know, I really have no reason to doubt anything she says. Kazuya hasn’t exactly painted himself in a very positive light.

— Chizuru has to play the role of a proper girlfriend, so she comes to Kazuya’s defense. But even if she wasn’t a good actor, she probably would’ve spoken up anyways. This episode firmly establishes the fact that the girl is compelled to protect people even if they don’t deserve her kindness.

— Nevertheless, Kazuya isn’t mad at Mami. Instead, he meekly and pathetically tells Chizuru that everything his ex is saying is simply the truth. Mami isn’t even nice to him, and he still likes her. This guy is so thoroughly unpleasant as a protagonist.

— So Chizuru dashes off, because she doesn’t really have any reason to stick around. Plus, they’re way over the time limit for their rent-a-date. Meanwhile, Kazuya is just wallowing in self-pity when Mami suddenly shows up and invites him over to her place. I can’t really imagine what she’s thinking, since I barely know her. But if I had to guess, everyone seems to acknowledge that Chizuru is amazingly beautiful. So maybe it’s a matter of pride. Maybe Mami doesn’t like the fact that her ex-boyfriend got an upgrade.

— In any case, this series has a lot of work cut out for itself if it wants to convince me that Kazuya is actually even remotely dating material. It’s hard to imagine how any girl could fall in love with this guy. Nothing in the past two episodes remotely leads me to think that he can even be a decent boyfriend. Kazuya’s like a middle school kid who just discovered erections for the first time, so he goes around popping boners as soon as a girl shows even an inch of her bare skin.


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