This week, I add tier names to my rankings. Exciting!

The “I Tried But Couldn’t Really Watch It” Tier

Incomplete: DRAMAtical Murder

I just don’t think I’m interested enough to try and make heads or tails of the plot. I’ve tried (not really), but every episode I “watch” just flies by without me absorbing a damn thing. There are just too many characters, and the plot constantly jumps around. Something about a game called Rhyme, a gang completely disappearing, the bad guy building jails on this island, the main character’s grandmother not cooperating so she gets kidnapped, people constantly butting their heads into the main character’s life and either challenging him to a fight or knocking him out… It’s not that the story’s complicated, but it’s a domino effect. When you don’t pay enough attention to events x, y, and z, you’re not going to comprehend events p, q, and r when they occur later on. Then when the credits finally roll, I’m like, “Wait, what did I just watch?” The ideal solution is to go back and rewatch some of the earlier episode, but I’m too lazy to do that. I’ll probably call it quits after next week. On the bright side, I guess the animation wasn’t a dumpster fire like it was last week.

The “I Only Watch It to Mock It” Tier

20. Rokujyoma no Shinryakusha!?

Still the most boring thing I have had to watch this season.

19. Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance

Despite being a carbon copy of a billion other shows, it’s still much less boring than Rokujyoma no Shinryakusha!?

18. Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei

Still somehow more boring than…

17. Sword Art Online II

…shopping at the mall with your bae.

16. Akame ga Kill!

About as lame as the average shounen, but with more blood. So basically, still lame as fuck.

15. Captain Earth

Laughably formulaic.

14. Rail Wars!

This show has managed to somehow make breasts seem monotonous.

13. M3 – Sono Kuroki Hagane

Every week, people complain about this anime’s position on my rankings. Of course the anime still sucks. I just think its badness is easier to watch than everything beneath it.

The “Cure for Insomnia” Tier

12. Free! Eternal Summer

Well, at least there’s actually something to chew on in this week’s episode. Hey, I’m not saying I love the anime or anything. It’s just nice to watch something that goes beyond “Uguu, we need to recruit more members to our club!” and “Let me show you my passion for swimming!” So what’s the deal this week? Nagisa has run away from home, because his parents are pressuring him to quit the swim club. Why? ‘Cause he’s Asian, and if you suck at your studies, then you don’t get to have any fun. And even if you don’t suck at your studies, you still don’t get to have any fun. So the boys spend the majority of the episode trying to help Nagisa deal with that. Of course, Free! is still happy-go-lucky land, so as long as Nagisa promises to “Ganbatte!” it up, his parents relent and let him stay in the swim club. I’d love to see how that would work in the real world. Oh well.

11. Glasslip

Holy shit, this is so dumb. Touko mistakes Yuki for Kakeru once — once! — and the guy flips his fucking lid:

“I can’t. I can’t be in a room alone with you. Touko, are you thinking about that Kakeru guy?”

Are you? Are you?! Dude, she doesn’t fucking like you. Who cares who she likes. All that matters is that she doesn’t like you. The problem with people like Yuki is that they’ll never get over the objects of their affection unless they are forced to go no contact. Naturally, Yuki’s not going to go no contact for his own sake. Sadly, however, Touko’s probably too nice to do it herself. I’m not a shipper. Really, I don’t normally give a fuck who gets with who. But y’know what? I will actively hope that Touko and Kakeru get together just to watch Yuki cry. ‘Cause hey, nothing else ever happens in this god forsaken anime, so we may as well do what we can to have some entertainment.

But drama upon drama, Yana runs into Kakeru, and she’s already said before that she thinks he’s hot! Will the brocon girl have a change of heart and fall in love with the brooding David? And look who should run into the two of them!

Why would Touko even care, though? She barely knows Kakeru, and she’s not dumb enough to think Yana has fallen out of love with her brother already, does she? Well, with these anime characters, nothing is safe. In any case, stay tuned for more of P.A. Works scintillating deconstruction of teenage love!

10. Bakumatsu Rock

Sensei finally gets his Peace Soul. Pop music turns people into zombies, but rock saves them. Then our heroes become… meteors?

Yeah, meteors. This anime is like a basketball game, i.e. you only need to watch the last five minutes to entertain yourself.

9. Shirogane no Ishi Argevollen

Maintain the status quo. That’s basically this week’s grand ol’ message. Tokimune’s peers are mad at him for putting the entire battalion at risk in last week’s episode, but it doesn’t really matter. Why? Because Ukyou isn’t going to punish the main character anyway: “I’ll never tell you to destroy your feelings.” Can you honestly ever expect a commanding officer in the army to say anything like that to one of his soldiers? Whatever. Point is, Tokimune officially gets to pilot the Argevollen from now on. Pfft, like he was going to lose the special mecha to begin with… We then see a representative from Jamie’s corporation come all the way out here just to tell her to stick with the mecha and stay attached to Tokimune’s unit. Status quo! So what did we learn this week? That nothing has changed. And oh yeah, I guess Tokimune became a soldier in order to avenge his sister. And that’s it. One piece of character development in 23 minutes of pure Shirogane no Ishi Argevollen goodness. No wonder this is going to be a 2-cour series. At this rate, we’re not going to get anywhere.

The “Destined to Be Forgotten” Tier

8. Persona 4 – The Golden Animation

Anyone else just drone out Marie’s poems at the start of each week’s episode? I figure if she’s so embarrassed by them, I’ll just do her one better and not listen to a single word she’s written.

Anyway, it’s the pointless beach episode. I’m not saying it’s boring, but it sure as hell is pointless. Sure, I like the characters and their personalities, but not enough to watch back-to-back episodes where nothing fucking happens. What can I say? P4: The Golden has been incredibly disappointing. If I wanted to gawk at anime babes in swimsuits, I could take a look at just about every other anime out there. I tune into P4: The Golden, because I’m hoping to get the whole package. Yes, even it is just a 1-cour series, I want more than this. I want more than “Let’s hang out with senpai~~~” every single week. Bah. I should’ve known A-1 Pictures would let me down. Time to just sit tight and wait for Persona 5. Atlus has officially sucked Persona 4 dry of its charm with the countless spin-offs and remakes.

7. Re:_Hamatora

The anime tries to develop Honey and Three’s backstories, and to the show’s credit, the plot is a lot more focused in its second go-around. Still, anything that doesn’t involve Nice and Art just isn’t that interesting or original. Honey and Three’s backstories are, for instance, just exactly what you might have expected them to be. Neglected by her father, Honey looked to Three to become her father figure. Having failed to protect his orphanage — yes, orphans are involved — Honey gave Three another chance to prove himself. It’s all very run-of-the-mill. Anyway, more and more Minimum Holders are experiencing side-effects shortly after using their powers. This is sort of intriguing, I guess, so at least there’s that.

6. Tokyo ESP

The least offensive boring anime on this list.

5. Ao Haru Ride

Like I wrote in the post that I’m sure only shoujo fans have read, I thought this week’s episode was okay.

4. Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun

The anime’s nothing special, but it consistently amuses me from week to week.

The “Shows I’d Still Watch Even If I Wasn’t Blogging” Tier

3. Aldnoah.Zero

The anime has the best action of the season week in and week out, but the rest of the cast needs to step it up for it to ever take the top spot.

2. Tokyo Ghoul

Deceptively smart.

1. Terror in Resonance

My only criticisms for the show are nitpicks.