If you think my posts on Persona 5 are long, just thank your lucky stars that there isn’t a Nier: Automata adaptation. 

— This adaptation loves its Goro Akechi. I honestly can’t say that I feel the same. He wasn’t my fan favorite by a long shot. I think his story just feels a bit too similar to others that I’ve encountered in the past.

— These scenes at least serve to fill in the narrative gaps. When did Akechi first hear of the Phantom Thieves and how did he react to their stories?

— Oh, this OP is here to stay. Hm.

— I’ve come across a lot of anger on the internet over this half-assed adaptation, and while I can understand how those people feel, I guess I’m just used to this sort of thing by now. After blogging anime for nearly a decade, I can count the number of impressive game-to-anime adaptations on one hand (not counting visual novels). In a way, I’m sort of enjoying the badness as its own thing.

— I never did understand why Iwai was so interested in the fake gold medal.

— Ooh, it’s the fancy buffet scene. As an American, the idea of a fancy buffet is a complete mystery to me. Anyways, I’m going to be disappointed if Morgana isn’t forced to eat a mountain of beans (spoiler: I am disappointed).

— Aw, he’s feeding Morgana by hand.

— Oh lord, those chocolate fountains look terrible.

— I’m also not used to sitting on couches at a restaurant.

— Aw, they completely skipped the part where Ren eavesdrops on people as he gathers food. Instead, we get to see Ann being yelled at by a haughty woman. Children everywhere are treated as second class citizens. Sometimes, it’s justified, but more often than not, kids are taught to simply shut up around their elders. We say we value independent thinking, but we also expect those younger than us to simply defer to our judgment. Well, which is it?

— We also immediately jump to Shido, a self-important asshole. When one of Shido’s men shoves Ryuji out of the way, our hero gets his first courage check. If your courage is high enough, you can try to stand up for your buddy. It doesn’t amount to anything, but it’s a fun little thing to look forward to on new game plus. Normally, you wouldn’t pass the courage check on your first playthrough. Still, this reminds me that Persona 5 seemed to have less conversation checks than Persona 4. As a result, replaying the game didn’t seem as fresh.

— Odd… CloverWorks changed the entire setting. In the game, our trio of fledgling Phantom Thieves continue to discuss these matters back at their table. This is where the group decides to continue being Phantom Thieves and fighting for justice in a world full of corrupt or complacent adults. For some reason, however, the adaptation has decided to remove these kids completely from the buffet… they’re just now standing on an indiscriminate floor of a high-rise building. Why would you make this change? What purpose does it serve?

— In fact, it seems that this pivotal conversation takes place over the course of the entire day at multiple locations. After all, I don’t remember visiting a burger joint. In fact, if they just went to a buffet earlier that day, do they really have the appetite to eat fast food afterwards? Anyways, it’s not a particularly long conversation, so it’s hard to wrap my mind around the idea of them taking all day to discuss the official formation of their team. Nevertheless, I guess walking from location to location is more dynamic than just sitting and talking in a restaurant.

— I am boring, so I also went with the default name for my team.

— One thing that could’ve helped Persona 5’s narrative was to flesh out the current political atmosphere that helped bring about Shido’s ascension. He just kinda comes out of nowhere and rides a surge of momentum all the way to the top. Well, if the political system is in disarray, why is that? The story hints at it, but this particular plot point is never fully fleshed out. It’s as if politics is beyond these kids’ grasp. All they really know is that they’re getting screwed. Then again, people complained that the story was long enough. Personally, I loved Persona 5, so I would’ve gladly taken a longer game.

— The adaptation highlights the fact that Sae is particularly interested in all the strange incidents happening lately. This is also a minor plot point that the game could’ve expanded on.

— Ren looks really determined here. He wants to do this more than Ryuji; he’s just not as outwardly enthusiastic as his loud buddy.

— Right from the start, Ryuji is fixated with fame. This is important to keep in mind as future developments play out down the line.

— It’s been brought up before by a ton of people, but Ren does not sit in the very back row. As a result, the guy behind him should be able to see everything (including Morgana). He never says a word, though.

— Is there enough oxygen for the cat?

— Oh hey, it’s Makoto. Again, I prefer her in English, but that’s only because her voice actress is also responsible for A2 in Nier: Automata. I think I mentioned it before, but Makoto is almost the best girl. I like the fact that she’s smart, and I love her toughness. She’s also pretty damn useful in battle. Most of all, it was cute to see her try and stalk you throughout the game. Unfortunately, I just really hate the whole “I’m super booksmart, but I’m oh-so-clueless about the real world” trope. Not only did it remind me too much of Mitsuru from Persona 3, but it feels as though the writers feel the need to give the player one major advantage over every girl that he courts. With Makoto, it’s her real world naivete.

— Also, she wants to be a cop when she grows up, and that’s like… eh…

— Seeing the Phansite, I’m reminded of how the development team initially wanted to incorporate rumors into the game, but they ran out of time. They must have considering how long this game took to come out. Still, rumors would’ve been fun to see. It also would’ve been nice to see the recent games acknowledge the Persona 2 duology a bit more.

— Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to replay those two games… unfortunately, the gameplay in them is not so great. Innocent Sin and Eternal Punishment have excellent stories, but I always lose all my enthusiasm as soon as I run into the first random encounter. I just don’t have the patience that I used to have as a kid to power through tedious game design anymore. People speak fondly of the 32-bit era of JRPGs, but between the long load times and cumbersome UI, the thought of replaying them makes me cringe.

— Ahh, Mementos… the freshmaker. Honestly, I wasn’t a big fan of the place. It’s not that I hate random dungeons. In fact, its randomness is a nice change of pace. Sometimes, you just want to wander around and grind for a bit… as a JRPG fan, of course. If you’re not into JRPGs, you might not understand that feeling. But as I was saying, the problem with Mementos is that it never felt substantial enough. The various sections looked too similar to each other, so it felt like a step back from Persona 4’s random dungeons. It also wasn’t very difficult either, so it’s nothing compared to, say, the Labyrinth of Amala. What Persona 5 lacks is an optional endgame area full of super hard challenges. This is a problem for all of the Persona games, actually. JRPGs generally have post-endgame content to keep the player occupied, but all you can really do in the Persona series is replay the game. Not only that, Mementos ends up playing an important role in the main story, so it’s not allowed to be hard. Persona 3 at least has the Monad Depths, but that’s not fearsome either.

— Also, there just wasn’t much to do in Mementos. The only reason to go in there was to find an important enemy to defeat, which speaks to the lazy design behind the game’s subquests. It was always go to Mementos and beat someone up. Persona 4’s requests were at last a little more varied than that. They didn’t all take place within the dungeons either. In one quest, I had to feed a cat. In another one, I had to run around and talk to a bunch of NPCs.

— Of course the car is in 3D.

— In the game, when you drive Morgana around, you actually get to hear amusing bits of banter between your teammates. I think you can find them on this Tumblr (expect to come across spoilers, of course). Unfortunately, Mementos itself is quite small, so you’ll often run into enemies or the floor’s exit before these humorous conversations can actually play out. Sure, you could just stop the car and listen, but it’s one of those things they should’ve done a better job of playtesting.

— I don’t remember this track in the game. Must be an anime-only song.

— So you find unsavory people in Mementos, and you beat them up. These people are not twisted enough to have their own palaces. They’re bad, but they’re not that bad. Well, some of them are pretty horrible like the “The Head Honcho in Showbiz.” But there’s one that’s like a girl bullying a guy because she has a crush on him. As a Phantom Thief, you can’t help but feel like you’re wasting your time with small fries.

— Also, it’s interesting how you never actually go into the palace of, say, a serial killer. One of the final bosses of the game is certainly an accomplice to murder, but he’s not actually guilty of the deed himself. Imagine how creepy a serial killer’s palace would’ve been, though. Still, I guess this makes sense thematically. The story is about reforming the world and overcoming society’s corruption. Serial killers are evil, but they’re outliers if you really think about it. There’s nothing to reform. They’re just broken people to begin with.

— Still, we have a lot of evil leaders all across the world, but I guess the Phantom Thieves only have jurisdiction over Japan.

— Mm, Madarame gets name-dropped. You can probably guess that he’s our heroes’ next big target. He definitely felt like a step down from Kamoshida. He didn’t seem as threatening as a dude who was literally sexually harassing his students, and personality-wise, I thought he was kinda dull.

— Wow, that is fast. Our Phantom Thieves immediately destroy Nakanohara as soon as he transforms. I guess we don’t really wanna bother with anything but major boss battles.

—  Lots of exposition. Lots and lots of it.

— Morgana isn’t sure where he’s from, what he is, or if he’s even supposed to look the way that he does now. I like Morgana more than Teddie, but at this point in the story, I do feel as though he’s a bit too similar to that perverted bear.

— You don’t have to tell me twice, cat.

— Well, y’see, that just looks like cocaine.

— This is supposed to be Leblanc’s famous curry, but I dunno, man… also, have you actually tried curry with coffee? That’s such a strange combination! They both have incredibly intense flavor profiles (unless you like watered down coffee), so it’s just too much. I tried it once. At work, I get free fancy espresso-based drinks, so one time, I grabbed an order from Japacurry, a food truck that drops by once a week. Yeah, I’m not doing that again.

— See, in the game, Sae does drop by, but never with Akechi in tow. This adaptation loves him, man!

— But I guess we may as well get this relationship started early. Justice Personas are generally pretty useful.

— A hero needs a villain, and a villain needs a hero. In the game, Akechi never really plays a cat-and-mouse game with you despite the fact that, as a detective, he’s supposed to stop your crimes. After all, you’re a Phantom Thief who does his dirty work within the Metaverse. Unless Akechi has magical powers of his own, how exactly would he try and chase you down, right? So I understand the cat-and-mouse game never took place. But man, how cool would that have been, though?

— Anyways, we’ll finally meet Yusuke next week. Both his English and Japanese voices are pretty good…

— Yeah, Moon Boy kinda does.

— I’m tellin’ ya, Akechi is the actual star of this damn adaptation.

— Morgana warns the kids that it’d be real bad for them if their identities are ever discovered… how ironic. Honestly, the Phantom Thieves are the worst kept secret ever.

— Oh, we didn’t have to wait till next week for Yusuke after all.

Eh, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using a gun even if you have superpowers. Whatever gets the job done. 

— The anime likes last week’s finale so much that we get to watch it again. Yay.

— Shigaraki’s metaphor is interesting. Rather than seeing this struggle against the good guys as a JRPG, it’s more of a strategy RPG. In a JRPG, your party can’t die. If they do, it’s game over. In a strategy RPG, however, your “party” is really just comprised of troops within your army. You can still win the battle even if you lose your “party.” Of course, he doesn’t intend for the Vanguard dorks to lose, but hey, it’s not the end of the world if they do.

— But let’s be honest: we all reset our console if we lose any one in Fire Emblem. Nobody’s dying in my strategy RPGs!

— Also, I like the idea that he wants to “put cracks into the superhuman society,” but I don’t like the idea that he won’t do the dirty work. Who cares about whose turn it is to be on stage? If you wanna do something right, do it yourself. I dislike it when there’s a big, bad villain, but he’s content to hang back until all of his underlings have failed. I much rather have one major villain per arc, and we’ll just go from one to the other without someone like Shigaraki serving as the thread that binds the League of Villains together. It’s just hard to respect a guy who spends 90% of his time in a bar. For fuck’s sake, do something.

— I don’t know why they’re that impressed with Bakugo either. There are plenty of students with useful abilities to corrupt.

— Anyways, Deku’s night is obviously not done. He has to bring Kota to safety, then warn everyone about the bad guys’ evil plan. Let’s hope he’s right about Muscular at least.

— Y’know, I thought the forest fire would be a bigger deal. After all, Deku makes a big point about how Kota has to turn around and save others. But oddly enough, the fire never comes up again for the rest of the episode. You’d think the heat and billowing smoke would become a serious problem in no time flat, because forest fires tend to spread quickly too.

— Oh yeah, Aizawa’s just fine. Unless you see a body, the person is always fine.

— He also quickly subdues Dabi, but apparently it’s not Dabi at all. Rather, it was a clone created by Twice. So wait, do the clones have the same powers as the real thing? That sounds really, really powerful. Couldn’t you just create clones of someone truly impressive and have it go to town on our heroes?

— When Deku finally bumps into Aizawa, the instructor reminds the kid that he had acted without permission. It’s like, yeah, I get it… there are rules and protocols to follow, but this is kinda ridiculous. It was ridiculous back in Hosu, and it’s ridiculous now. What was he supposed to do? Let Kota die?

— Of course, Aizawa understands the situation, so he tells Deku to tell everyone (through Mandalay’s telepathy) that they have his permission to fight back. Furthermore, he’ll assume responsibility. Still, just the idea that he’ll be punished for this is insane. Just the idea that Deku will eventually be scolded for acting on his own is also insane. It’s such a cultural thing, too. You totally did the right thing, but we’re still going to throw the rulebook at you!

— Anyways, the battle between Spinner and Mandalay rages on. Like Stain, Spinner hates fake heroes, so he’s going to go out of his way to kill them. That’s just… stupid, man. If these so-called heroes are using their Quirks selfishly, then so what? Am I happy that a lot of super talented people would rather use their abilities for personal gain? Of course not. I wish great businessmen like the Koch brothers would care more about others than filling their own coffers, but so what? Am I going to kill them for not giving away their money? Of course not. It’s the same thing here. Even if heroes like Mandalay are phonies, they’re not making you give them money. People pay for their services, because they want to. If they didn’t want their services, they wouldn’t pay for it! If you think others are bad at being heroes, when why don’t you lead by example? So this isn’t about justice. This is just a bunch of sickos with a bloodlust. They’re trying to convince themselves that they’re making the world a better place, but they’re all fucked in the head. Who goes from “You’re a bad hero” to “I should kill you”? Only sickos!

But of course, that’s the entire point with Stain. He’s clearly meant to be a psychopath, and therein lies his true danger to society. The fact that he wants to kill heroes isn’t what should worry us. It’s that we’re all a bunch of blind followers. The masses don’t really care if his ideology is actually on point. The masses only care if the ideology sounds good. Deliver it and deliver it with conviction! As long as it resonates, the contents don’t actually matter! We love powerful orators even if they’re really dirtbags behind the scenes. Spinner is the direct proof of that. There’s nothing respectable about Stain other than that he stands behind what he believes in. This is what mastermind villains like Shigaraki have to  come to terms with. He was all pissy that Stain got all the media attention, but he could learn a thing or two from the guy. It’s not about how many people you kill. It’s about sending a message.

— So Deku interrupts Mandalay’s fight and delivers Aizawa’s message. Like I said above, everyone can fight… but because Bakugo is a target, he shouldn’t fight. Uh, good luck telling Bakugo what to do. Elsewhere, Kota is finally remorseful, but Aizawa assures the kid that Deku will be fine… probably. He’ll still get that scolding afterwards, though!

— Magne is shocked that Deku could even overcome Muscular, so he wants to take the kid out. Y’know, that’s what Shigaraki wanted and everything. But if they’re so impressed with Bakugo, why not kidnap Deku as well? Do the villains have so little faith in their abilities to corrupt someone like Deku? It would be difficult, but if you do fail, you could always kill him afterwards. But nah, the bad guys would rather just kill Deku instead. Make it easy on themselves, I guess.

— Unfortunately, the bad guys aren’t on the same page. After all, Spinner believes in Stain’s ideology, and Stain never wanted to kill Deku. As a result, Spinner doesn’t want to kill Deku either. This short argument allows Mandalay and Tiger to knock the bad guys out. Welp, so much for being legit bad guys. Like I said in previous posts, these guys are barely more than clowns. They’re so bad at actually being bad guys, it’s amazing.

— Even when he has no clue what’s going on, Bakugo still blames Deku for everything. I don’t understand how this kid has friends. I really don’t. My biggest problem with his character is that I just don’t understand how anyone could think that he has the right mentality to be a hero. I don’t give a damn how talented he is, because he’s got some serious anger issues. They just keep sweeping these problems under the rug, though. Oh, he just has to grow up, he’s slowly mellowing out, blah blah blah. Dude, would you really trust someone like this with your life?

— Huh… the BDSM freak can generate sharp metal blades from his… teeth? So they’re not metal? Or his teeth or metal? Or do they become metal when he activates his Quirk? Ah, who cares? The guy’s fucking name is Moonfish. Clowns…

— Wait, what? I thought these guys got knocked out! Honestly, Mandalay and Tiger don’t seem very impressive even though they’re supposed to be pros.

— A pair of kids from Class 1-B gets their turn in the spotlight. Tetsutetsu is brave, but Kendo seems to have all the brains. She quickly discerns that the gas is being generated from a single source, and they could probably take it out. Still, the guy’s bravery really impresses her. She’s not blushing, though. At least there’s that.

— Mustard for mustard gas. Won’t stop me from thinking of the condiment, though.

— I like how the guy just whips out a gun. It’s even old-fashioned revolver, too. Remember when Batman used a gun? Those were the days.

— Mustard shoots Tetsutetsu’s gas mask off and continues to keep the guy at bay with his bullets. He just has to outlast his opponent, basically. Luckily, Kendo can giant-ass hands to brush all the gas away. I wonder if she could’ve done this first if Tetsutetsu wasn’t so insistent on charging in. Either way, they ultimately work together to bring Mustard down.

— We finally return our attention to Deku, but before he can catch up to Bakugo, another serious problem has cropped up: Tokoyami’s Quirk has gone nutso. As if it wasn’t hard enough to deal with the bad guys running amok, our heroes have to fight amongst themselves.

Guess who these shorties are. C’mon, guess. If you have no clue, that’s fine. You’ll find out soon enough. 

— Back in GGO, the all-female squad is ready and prepared to take Karen down. They don’t even seem to care about M.

— Speaking of M, he finally confesses to Karen that he’ll die for “real reals” if he dies in game. In response, our heroine has the perfect retort. But y’know, I’m honestly not sure if I’d rather watch SAO or SAO Alternative. They’re both bad in their own way. SAO is cringey, but SAO Alternative is just so boring. Even if Kirito is a Gary Stu, at least his story actually has stakes that matter. Who gives a shit whether or not Karen wins this tournament?

— Karen reads Pito’s letter to M, and it doesn’t sound serious at all. Rather, it just sounds like typical friendly banter, i.e. “Dude, I’ll totally kill you if you screw up, lulz.” Nevertheless, M continues to insist otherwise. Either he’s nuts or Pito’s nuts. Maybe both.

— So why did he want to kill Karen? Because if she dies, leadership will transfer to him, which he will then use to surrender. Maybe this is why Karen was made leader. But uh, aren’t there replays for this tournament? Wouldn’t Pito be able to see afterwards that M had killed his own teammate? I don’t think he really thought this through.

— Tired of M’s nonsense, our heroine resolves to finish the rest of the tournament on her own. After all, it doesn’t really matter if she loses, but it’d totally be awesome if she wins.

— The girl takes out one of her enemies quickly enough, but she eventually has to retreat once the rest of them converge on her. In a safe place, Karen checks up on her current status. She remarks that she might need her knife to commit suicide. Um, why? If you lose, you lose. If you want to surrender, then surrender. When is in-game suicide ever truly necessary? Hell, most games don’t even allow you to kill yourself directly. You often have to indirectly kill yourself like, say, holding onto a grenade too long.

— Karen hears a bunch of gunfire in the distance and automatically assumes that the enemy is getting desperate. As a result, she comes out of hiding and walks right into an ambush.

— With her health slowly dwindling, our heroine finds herself short on breath as she slowly trudges her way through the wasteland. She even looks and sounds like she’s in pain. The problem is that the anime is never consistent about this. Later in the episode, the girl will have nothing but a sliver of health left, but she will look and sound perfectly fine. So which is it? Does your character model actually slow down when it has low health or not?

— Eventually, the girl is cornered behind a rock. Luckily, she still has her grenades, so she creates a large enough explosion that allows her to escape once more. Even if she doesn’t win, her ingenuity has impressed her opponents. I don’t understand why they didn’t throw a grenade, though. It’s not like they don’t have any.

— Halfway through the episode, Karen realizes that she can only win by getting in close and dirty with her opponents. After all, this is how she’s always won, but I guess she just needed to conveniently forget this fact until we’re ready to wrap this arc up.

— Her gun is talking to her. The girl has gone nuts.

— Karen decides to sit around a corner and just wait for her opponents to walk by. When they immediately take aim and shoot at her, the girl nonchalantly ducks her head beneath the bullet. Like really? GGO wants to be a gritty, realistic shooter, but you can also jack your AGI up so high that you can literally dodge bullets like Neo?

— After taking two enemies out, Karen gets nicked by a bullet and falls down a small hill. She’s about to die when the most obvious development occurs: M has finally decided to redeem himself by providing long-range support. I mean, we all knew it was coming…

— Even so, the enemy leader manages to pin Karen down and go for the kill. For some reason, however, she goes for the girl’s heart instead of her head. Luckily, Karen has her scanner in just the right place to keep herself alive. But if you’re me, you gotta be like, “So what? Just shoot her in the head and be done with it.”

— But the enemy leader misses! In fact, she misses twice because Karen’s head is that fast! But I mean, if you have her pinned down, why don’t you just hold the gun to her head then pull the trigger?

— Of course, the woman runs out of bullets.

— And now it’s Karen’s turn to miss at practically point blank range! She frees herself, grabs her P-chan, and fires away to no avail. What is this?! What am I watching?!

— The two combatants then get into the scuffle, and Karen asks, “D-doesn’t that hurt?” Doesn’t what hurt? The enemy leader’s bullet wounds? Do you actually feel pain in this game? If so, why would anyone play it?

— After some ridiculously long-range ammo reloading action, the enemy leader now has the distinct advantage against Karen. After all, our heroine is out of ammo! Oh no! What will she do!

— She can just block bullets with her own gun! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!

— Oh no, it’s SSJ Karen time!

— So with her trusty knife, Karen takes out the enemy leader.

— There is still a sniper left, but after some delicious bullet-on-bullet action, M takes out the final enemy combatant. And just like that, Karen’s team is victorious. Woo. I’m so excited. And I just can’t hide it.

— Nice Engrish.

— Back in the real world, Karen has decided to cut her hair short. I like it. But then again, I like short hair on girls.

— These high schoolers also give Karen some love for her height. As they often say, one man’s insecurities is another man’s fetish… yeah, I think that’s how that goes.

— Karen reveals, however, that she’s no longer hung up about her height. After all, Squad Jam taught her that. No, really. By fighting to survive in a video game, Karen shed years and years of a deeply-ingrained complex. This is why video gamers are the least insecure people in the world!

— Wait, did that girl just call her friend “Boss?” Are you fucking kidding me?

— That’s right! These girls are all GGO players! In fact, they are the exact goddamn people that Karen had just competed against. Amazing, isn’t it? In SAO, guys are always guys, and girls are always cute girls. People may lie about their heights online, but never about the gender.

Oh god, the tongue is back! But y’know, this is not the worst show I’m watching this season. I’m actually interested to see what happens next.

— The worst thing about Plan B is that it’s super easy for devils to go nuts. Simply by watching a woman die on TV, Juliana can’t help but attack Sawazaki. The sight of human blood on a TV can make her flip her shit! The bad guys didn’t  want to make one guy go nuts; they wanted any devil tuning into the program to lose control. But wait, how would you avoid that then? How would any devil avoid seeing blood on TV or any monitor for that matter? Violence is ubiquitous in our media.

— Plus, the anime wants us to be sympathetic to devils, but if the mere sight and/or smell of blood can trigger you into becoming a murderer, then I don’t know man… is it really worth protecting this species?

— Of course, Lee’s blood tolerance might be the trick that we all need to adopt. But the thought process behind it still leaves me uneasy. The idea that devils can’t help themselves, so we should willingly give our blood up to them is not comforting. Imagine men saying that they can’t help sexually assaulting women when they are deprived, so c’mon, send them a nude or two to build up some sexual tolerance. And before you say that this is a slippery slope argument, is it really? Vampires and sex have always gone hand-in-hand. What is this show about if it’s an exploration of Tsukasa’s blossoming sexuality?

— Anzai magically shows up out of nowhere to save the day. He even comes equipped with some sort of gas mask that filters out the smell and color of blood.

— Oooh, he sees his girl with another man! NTR’d in his own anime!

— Apparently, the weather girl didn’t even die. She’s still critically injured, but I’m amazed that they can still save her.

— Tsukasa’s a smart cookie; she quickly suspects that this is a coordinated attack to trigger devils. I’m not sure that the cops have realized this yet.

— This cameraman must be one of the bad guys. He seems eager to spread fear.

— So Tsukasa ends up having to protect a kid from a random devil. Again, if we’re supposed to be sympathetic towards devils, I find this really difficult. Had the devil been successful in killing the kid, could you really say that it wasn’t really his fault?

— Our heroine becomes a target, but she somehow manages to elude the vampire enough to run herself next to a window. Why a window? C’mon, haven’t you been paying attention? Anzai only ever appears to her through a window!

— You think I’m joking, but I’m not! Look, there he is!

— Anzai extricates Tsukasa from the situation, but he notices a pair of mysterious individuals observing him from the distance. This should set off all sorts of red flags, but the guy remains by his would-be girlfriend’s side. Hm.

— He eventually tries to leave, but Tsukasa clings onto him and buries her face in his ass. Well, not really, but I’d like to think so. She really likes him, though. Like “hontou ni” really. And I guess I don’t really understand it, but hey, sometimes you just feel a connection to someone.

— So if Anzai wants to hang out with his girl, he has two choices: 1) drink her blood in order to develop a blood tolerance or 2) drug himself up. He’s not yet aware of the first option, but she is. She’ll have to volunteer this information eventually, and you know she will. Vampires and sex are inseparable, and you could argue that there are few acts more intimate than consuming your partner’s bodily fluids. The second option is also there… but it renders Anzai completely useless. What’s the point of being a vampire if you don’t get all that sexy superhuman strength? Nevertheless, this is the option that we go with for now.

— And now that he’s all weak and shit, the girl takes advantage of him! Oooh!

— But he likes it!

— First things first, however, Anzai needs to sort out the whole Tsukasa x Lee nonsense. Of course, she only has her eyes for Anzai. She barely even knows Lee.

— Anzai opens up about how he and Lee both carry around a cross, which is apparently a symbol for an orphanage that takes in wayward devils. Y’know what else a cross is a symbol for? Christianity. So it’s funny to me that we automatically assume that Lee must come from the same place as Anzai simply because he bears a cross. What if he’s, like, just a Christian?

— What’s with the animation here? They did a terrible job blending the characters into the background. I can’t imagine that they still use cels anymore, huh? So this is just bad digital work.

— Anzai starts freaking out, because he’s not sure how sex between a human and a devil would work. As a result, he doubts whether or not he’s truly a half-devil. Well, y’see, when a devil and a person love each other, a stork will show up one day with an ugly baby…

— Of course, the distinction is moot to Tsukasa, and I can’t help but agree with her. Does it really matter if he’s half-devil or full-devil? He’s still functionally the same, i.e. dangerous.

— Anyways, a cop is nearby, so Anzai has to hide out on the side of the building. I’m not sure why he dragged Tsukasa into it too, though.

— He’s still weak from the sedative, so slips and falls. Luckily, Devil Jesus is there to save him.

— Afterwards, the trio meets up with Sawazaki, and we are introduced to Kikuhara. He leads another squad, but he’s instantly suspicious. Anytime a character shows up late and attributes it to “traffic,” you always have to wonder what they’re lying about.

— Even Tsukasa instantly discerns that Kikuhara is dangerous. Anzai feels as though he’s seen the man before, and he has… Kikuhara was apparently one of the two individuals watching him on that rooftop. Nevertheless, our hero fails to make this connection. Still, he comments on the man’s unusually warm hand. Huh. Humans are humans, so they have the expected body temperature. Devils are colder than usual. So what does that make Kikuhara? Some sort of reverse vampire?

— Sawazaki eventually drags everyone to Bar Sakaki. The bartender here apparently owns most of the building, and he even rents out one of the rooms to Anzai.

— Everyone knows that Tsukasa and Anzai are a thing even though those two keep trying to deny it.

— The girl learns from Lee that devils apparently have a short lifespan because they deprive themselves of human blood. They need that much. This simply convinces Tsukasa more than ever that she needs to “sacrifice” herself to Anzai. I put the word in quotes, because this is exactly what she wants. This is her fantasy. At the end of the day, what I said about in my first post about this anime hasn’t changed: this show is still all about a girl probing her sexuality with a generic anime bad boy.

— Juliana is ashamed that she nearly killed Sawazaki, but he doesn’t hold her responsible. What a compassionate guy. I don’t think I could be quite so understanding. He really treats them like his own children. He should be careful with that, though. It’s not just because his life might be in danger, but it’s easy to imagine someone like Juliana mistaking his kindness for love.

— Our heroine gushes over Juliana’s beauty. This is kind of shallow, Tsukasa.

— Elsewhere, the sniper from last week (we’ll just call her by her codename Zero Seven from now on) tries to confront Fifteen. He was the one who carried out the attack on that poor woman. Also, Zero Seven is not pleased about Plan B. She is vehemently against the idea of hurting people, but the rest of their organization seems to subscribe to the idea that they can sacrifice a few lives in order to rid the world of devils. Ah, you utilitarian bastards.

— Fifteen then stabs Zero Seven right through the gut, because they don’t want her potentially interfering with future operations. Nevertheless, she’s a cute female character, so there’s a good chance she’ll somehow survive what would normally be a fatal wound.

— Back with the good guys, Anzai takes the doctor aside and questions whether or not it’s possible for humans and devils to spawn a child. The doctor says it should technically be possible if you indulge in a little S&M. Really? You gotta tie them down? Is that why a doctor has to be present? Who would legalize that, though? Anyways, the doctor brushes the thought aside, because he finds it unrealistic. The mere fact that he brings it up, however, makes it a real possibility. In fact, what if Anzai is the result of some twisted experiment? Maybe there’s an evil organization going around creating half-devils by tying devils down and raping them. Why would they do this? Hell if I know.

— Tsukasa finally gets alone time with her boy, so she tells him all about their shortened life expectancy. Anzai expresses his doubts, but he doesn’t really know how long he’s going to live either. Dude, if the government is keeping that data under wraps, it’s probably because they don’t want you to know that your life is kept short.

— Welp, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for: Tsukasa volunteers her blood to Anzai. Let’s say they do this secretly. Wouldn’t his colleagues find it suspicious that he suddenly looks strong and healthy?

— Period sex between a human woman and a devil must be wild.

— We return to the bad guys, and Kikuhara congratulates Fifteen for a job well done. But Plan B isn’t over yet! Someone has to take the fall for the attack on that poor weather reporter.

— Kikuhara then saunters over Zero Seven and gets all creepy with her. What the fuck is wrong with all the dudes in this anime? Why do they always gotta stick their tongues where they don’t belong?!

According to this week’s episode, anyway. 

— Before I go any further, I gotta mention how I goofed up a lot regarding last week’s episode. I kept referring to the doll guy as Kotono when his name is literally just Shounen Doll. Whoops. Kotono is a completely different character, and we’ll actually meet her in this week’s episode. With that out of the way…

— So Caligula was originally a PS Vita game developed by Aquria. They’re not really well-known unless you’re into weeb games. Recently, they’ve been responsible for a few of the Sword Art Online games. Anyways, Caligula is getting a PS4 remake (or remaster?), and it includes a route where Ritsu can become a double agent and align himself with the Musicians. The remake will soon come out this month in Japan, so I guess the anime is supposed to hype people up for the game. Y’know, Caligula is more than likely better as a game than an anime. You can ignore a lot of the storytelling flaws when you’re having fun playing a game. I could check the game out, but only if the PS4 version is localized. I’m not particularly interested in playing anything on my Vita unless I really have to (e.g. Persona 4: Golden).

— This rich-looking dude drops by the music room, because he wants to be woke too. Unfortunately, everyone but Suzuna seems to be out.

— Shogo is busy… um… busy doing something.

— Meanwhile, Ritsu and Kotaro meets with Marie at the opening of Sea Paraiso. Uh, why are we here? What is happening? Why did this three just decide to go hang out at an amusement park? How did we go from last week’s ending to this?

— It turns out Ritsu had gotten exactly three tickets to the amusement park, but other than Kotaro, everyone else was either busy or just too plain shy to accept his invitation. As a result, he invited Marie even though she’s nowhere close to being as woke as him. That’s right, you’re gonna see the word “woke” a lot in this week’s post.

— I guess he can’t recruit Marie, because she’s blissfully unaware like everyone else… but it’s also perfectly safe to befriend her.

— We see this Digihead somehow turn into a normal girl. This is the actual Kotono, and she’s one of the more popular girls here. Every once in a while, she’ll notice Aria, so she’s on the verge of wokeness. That’s just hilarious to me.

— Sea Paraiso also doubles as a coupling event. You go here to hook up with sweet high school girls. It’s almost like a hostess club… but for kids… kinda. Not really. This is probably too lewd for kids.

— All of the girls are led by Mirei, the queen bee of the whole event. She’s also a bit of a sadist. Guys seem to live for taking her punishment.

— At one point, Kotono’s “date” spills water on himself, so she goes to wipe his pants. Geez, he’s a big boy. He can wipe his own damn pants. Nevertheless, all of the other guys take notice and become jealous. As a result, they also spill drinks on themselves in the hopes that Kotono will attend to them as well. This behavior disgusts Kotono, which actually triggers her wokeness. No, seriously. The more she despises men, the more aware she becomes!

— Ooh, it’s the gathering of the baddies. And like most anime baddies, they’re content to sit around and talk idle nonsense. Should we stop the good guys?! Eeeeeh, let’s just chill and let them power up, gather allies, so on and so forth.

— Aria eventually convinces Ritsu to approach Kotono. This is purely for recruiting purposes, though. Their team needs more members in order to form a resistance against the Musicians! Unfortunately, Kotono thinks Ritsu is trying to hit on her. Whoops. Not quite woke yet.

— In fact, all of the men get mad at Ritsu for trying to cut in line. Yes, you need to grab a ticket in order to spend time with Kotono. She’s just that awesome.

— She eventually deals a deathblow to Ritsu’s pride.

— If you’re wondering what Mifue and Naruko are up to, they’re still looking for the former’s mother. Eh.

— Meanwhile, Kotaro and Marie continue to wait for Ritsu to return when they notice a bunch of kids entering a suspicious-looking building. The guy is rather adventurous, so he decides to take a peek inside. At first, the place seems innocent enough. We appear to have an aquarium at a sea park, which makes perfect sense. Plus, anime seems to have this idea that there’s nothing more romantic than a date to an aquarium. Maybe it’s cultural thing, ’cause I’ve never taken a date to an aquarium in my life.

— Upon further inspection, however, Kotaro and Marie discover that couples are up to no good in some of these closed rooms!

— So… virtual sex while a Digihead is grinding on you?

— Apparently, Sea Paraiso is place to indoctrinate young men back into loving Mobius. You lure them in with cute girls, then you brainwash them! Even Ritsu isn’t impervious. You just have to let him drone on and on about all his favorite esoteric subjects. Make him feel like a genius, and you’ll have in the palm of your hands. But… they’re already in a virtual reality. Do you really need to strap a device on their virtual heads in order to brainwash them? Ah well.

— Plus, is this place just not interested in brainwashing heterosexual girls at all? Maybe there’s a female-equivalent to Sea Paraiso somewhere out there.

— Unfortunately for our villains, Mirei can’t keep her composure. She ends up getting jealous over all the attention that Kotono gets, so she challenges the girl to a duel.

— So the main event begins, and it’s a popularity contest between Kotono and Mirei. The latter wants to brainwash the former, but not before establishing her supposed superiority. You already know what’s going to happen next. This contest will trigger Kotono’s hate in men, so she’ll become permanently woke. As a result, she joins the good guys. Had Mirei just kept her jealousy under control, then she could’ve just brainwashed Kotono without all this ridiculous song-and-dance. We even open up with a swimsuit competition. This is so stupid.

— Somehow, Ritsu is magically transported on stage to serve as the final deciding vote. Again, why? Why choose him over all of the guys in the audience? Of course, Ritsu resists picking between Kotono and Mirei, and this angers the girl even further. She’s mad at his indecisiveness, so this pushes her closer to being woke. So like I said, had the Musicians just picked anyone else, they could have prevented Kotono from joining the other side. It’s almost as if they’re sabotaging themselves. Maybe it’s this “self-handicapping” thing that Ritsu was just talking about earlier in the episode. Or maybe they’re just idiots.

— So real world Kotono was probably an alcoholic, and ended up abandoning her precious Tak-kun. I think Tak-kun is a former lover…

— Anyways, the girl realizes that she no longer wants to remain in Mobius. She wants to go home and be with her Tak-kun. Maybe her hate for men is just an excuse to avoid the fact that she had hurt him terribly. Maybe she’s trying to assuage her guilt with misplaced anger.

— Thinking that Ritsu is Tak-kun, she embraces him. Not only does he end up voting for her, every guy in the audience does so too. Mirei is furious, but Kotono doubles down on the fact that men are idiots… but she now accepts that she still loves one of them? And this realization is what makes her permanently woke? Oh lord.

— More importantly, Kotono undergoes the Catharsis effect, so the girl is now armed with a bow. Fancy. So we have at least two… but we’re already five episodes in and Ritsu still hasn’t gotten his fancy weapon.

— As Kotono makes her triumphant speech, we also get to see Mifue reunite with her… mom? Like, it’s her virtual mom, right? Why is she so attached to someone who isn’t real? I guess she doesn’t realize that yet even though she’s supposedly woke. Also, Shogo is chasing after someone, but the person slips out of his grasp. These guys have way more baggage than Ritsu, which is probably why he’ll end up being the leader.

— We’re not out of this yet, though. Mu starts singing, so Digiheads start appearing all over the place. We’ll probably have a big fight to open next week’s episode.

— Eh… another week, another mixed bag of an episode. Yeah, I’d probably enjoy this story more in the game than as an anime. In fact, I can’t see how the adaptation could possibly wrap up this story at the pace that it’s going. Then again, according to “How Long To Beat,” Caligula only takes about 20 hours to beat (assuming you don’t do extras). That’s pretty short for an RPG. Nevertheless, I could see the story ending on a cliffhanger, thereby requiring you to get the game in order to see the conclusion. If the PS4 version ever comes out at like… 40 bucks, I’d give it a shot.

I guess it is true that you can’t knock it till you’ve tried it. 

— So Sugimoto reminds Asirpa of her father… at the very least, his bravery does. She’s confident he won’t die, because he has no fear in his heart. That’s great and all, but isn’t fear designed to keep us alive? Sometimes, it doesn’t work as intended, but hey, that might just be a feature as well. Luckily for our heroes, Tsurumi intends to keep Sugimoto alive.

— Shiraishi, a.k.a. Mr. Escape Artist, sure is rather friendly. If they fail, he’ll probably get killed by the 7th Division, so the fact that he’s willing to amiably cooperate with Asirpa is pretty cool. Granted, she threatened her with a poisoned arrow, but I’d be a whole lot angrier and bitter if I had to trade places with the guy.

— Oh, he’s in it for a share of the gold. Well then, take back everything I just said.

— Asirpa doesn’t want any of the gold? Not even a tiny portion of it? I mean, I know wealth isn’t important to her because she’s supposed to the pure and innocent heroine, but it’s always wise to have a nest egg. What if her village falls under hard times? It never hurts to be prepared.

— Shiraishi asks for some soap to make himself slippery enough to squeeze through the bars on Sugimoto’s window. Asirpa doesn’t have any soap, but she does have bear fat. You guys were all complaining about the CGI bear, but look how it’s paid off!

— Christ, how would you even react to a greased up, practically-naked dude climbing through your window?

— Man, these twins are really goddamn obsessed with Sugimoto. Unfortunately, this gives our hero the perfect escape plan.

— When Tsurumi finds Sugimoto, the guy looks as though he’s so badly hurt that his guts are coming out. The latter then retends to bargain for his life in exchange for the tattoos that he’s hidden. It’s almost certainly a trick. I’m surprise that this is working on Tsurumi. Well, he did say he lost a piece of his brain in the war…

— Gross: whenever Tsurumi is mad or frustrated, his head starts to leak… something. Anyways, the evil bastard quickly realizes that something is off when he examines the dead twin’s body. But it’s too late as Sugimoto has already started his best Hannibal Lecter impression.

— Unfortunately, Asirpa couldn’t hit Tsurumi with the arrow, and as a result, a poor horse had to die instead. Or maybe she never wanted to kill him in the first place. I dunno, I just think it’s odd. Hunting animals for food is one thing, but why kill this horse if you’re not okay with taking the lieutenant’s life? The guy is just gonna keep coming after her and Sugimoto. Other people may even die to his hands.

— Tsurumi takes aim with his gun, but at the very last second, he changes his mind. He acknowledges the fact that our heroes are better at collecting the tattoos than him and his men. This also makes his job a whole lot simpler as well; the only person he needs to chase is Sugimoto.

— One potential problem for the guy, of course, is the other twin. He’s going to want to avenge his brother, so he may throw a wrench in Tsurumi’s plans. Plus, if the twins hadn’t kept trying to kill Sugimoto, our hero might not have escaped. Honestly, why keep the remaining twin around at all? If I was Tsurumi, I’d get rid of the guy.

— Oh lord, Tsurumi is literally wearing the prisoners’ skins like pajamas.

— I’m glad Asirpa didn’t dive into Sugimoto’s arms or anything. Instead, she gives him a good hit for being so inconsiderate and stupid.

— We meet yet another Shisengumi badass as Hijikata goes to collect some guns. The show loves its old geezers trying to relive their glory days. From what I can tell, Hijikata wants to reestablish the Shinsengumi. Unfortunately, I’m not very familiar with either the organization or Japanese history during this period of time, so I have no clue what this entails. Probably something bad, I imagine.

— Sugimoto really loves animals, so he wants to keep the horse around. Unfortunately, his team convince him that it would be wiser to kill the horse for food. Feels bad, man.

— Our hero reiterates that he still doesn’t want to get Asirpa involved. After spending time in her village, he would feel too guilty if anything happened to her. Of course, this denies the girl of her agency. Asirpa doesn’t yell at Sugimoto, but she does give him a pretty thorough lecture. While I understand where the guy is coming from, he never should’ve asked for her help in the first place. Again he only changed his mind after spending time in her village. So does that imply that if she had had no loved ones, it’d be okay to continue endangering her life?

— Horse meat can reduce swelling? I’m more worried that the wounds might get infected, but I guess they wouldn’t know much about that.

— Oh lord, look at that wolf.

— Later that night, we get more of food critic Sugimoto. I’ve never had horse meat, though. And I can’t see myself eating it with raw egg yolks either.

— The poor girl has aged decades over her fear of eating poop. Luckily, she tries it anyway and discovers that she likes the taste. She’ll still call it poop, but oh well, not all poop is bad, I guess! The shifts in tone in this anime are so odd. Sugimoto’s escape from the 7th Division felt like I was watching a good action thriller, but now I’m back to goofy reaction faces, and I’m not sure if I’m still entertained or not.

— The old geezer continues to make his move as he closes in on a bandit leader. I don’t have much to say about him, though. I still don’t know much about his character, and well… I just don’t really care for the guy all that much. Maybe this’ll change as we see more of his exploits in later episodes.

— Shiraishi is busy gathering information in town, so Asirpa and Sugimoto go off on their own to hunt deer. She also teaches how to drink water from vines. That’s cool, I guess… if I ever find myself lost in the snowy wilderness of Japan.

— The girl also treats us to more Ainu legends.

— Unfortunately, there is no rest for the weary. There’s no downtime for our heroes, because Asirpa soon runs into suspicious-looking footprints. Upon closer inspection, she can tell that one of the men has an injured leg. Yes, that injured soldier that she had spared a few episodes ago has returned. And if you’ll recall, he’s after Retar’s pelt.

— What the fuck? Don’t do that.

— Even though I still don’t love the tonal shifts, I’m starting to get into the show’s groove. It’s not great, and I still don’t love Geno Studio’s direction, but it helps to have a source material that is competent.

It turns out opening a restaurant is harder than it seems. Who knew? 

— Aoi is about to open her eatery, and she’s decided to name it Moonflower. Eh, I have no thoughts about the name. It’s not particularly important to me. What is important to me, however, are the minor details regarding the operation of the business. For instance, the show hasn’t quite explained where Aoi is getting all of her capital. Who are her suppliers? How is she paying them when the restaurant hasn’t opened and she has no customers?

— Also, who’s leading the front of house? Who’s going to bus the tables? Who’s washing the dishes? Is she going to hire any cooks to help her out?

— Has she even advertised the fact that the restaurant is opening?

— But of course, I realize that this show isn’t concerned about the logistics behind opening a restaurant, and that’s normally fine if the characters and/or the story were any good. Unfortunately…

— I would never consider mayonnaise to be mellow…

— I could definitely go for a curry riceball, though.

— So, uh, how do the ayakashi with no mouths eat? Do they even eat?

— Looks like the inn’s chefs are not happy that Aoi’s new place is about to open. Maybe they’re afraid that her restaurant will steal their customers. Eh, it really shouldn’t. Both places can coexist by targeting different clienteles. But that’s another thing we haven’t discussed: I’m sure Aoi’s homecooking is very delicious, but do the people in the area really need it? Maybe the homey, rustic market has already been conquered by another restaurant.

— The inn’s chefs have decided to litter the place with banana peels in the hopes that the girl will slip and fall on them. Yo, this ain’t Mario Kart.

— Oh well, this just means that Aoi has more people to win over.

— Aoi has at last one fanbase: the tengu. She’s gonna need a whole lot more than that, though.

— She tells the darumas to clean up the mess, but they just obstinately hop away. The girl ends up doing it herself. Couldn’t she complain about it to Odanna, however, and get them punished? You might think this is petty or vindictive, but hey, they’re messing with her business and livelihood.

— Really? There’s a ninja after Aoi’s life? Then another ninja shows up to save the girl. Man, she’s got so many fans.

— Oh wow, it is Mario Kart. Unfortunately, the assassin gets away, so we don’t even know why someone is after her life. Nevertheless, the good guy ninja is also a bishie. In fact, he works as a security guard at the inn. Imagine undergoing all that fancy ninja training just to guard an inn.

— I don’t think Aoi takes anything seriously. Someone must made an attempt on her life. Shit, this isn’t even the first attempt on her life (remember, Oryo tried to get her eaten). And yet, Aoi is as cool as a cucumber. Dude, you wanted to come back here. You don’t normally have assassins coming after you in the real world! First things first, I’d high-tail it the fuck out of the Hidden Realm. Sayonara, Odanna, ’cause fuck ninjas! But assuming I couldn’t do that, I’d at least alert him and the authorities (assuming that the Hidden Realm even has anything akin to a police force). You can’t just have assassins running around!

— But of course, this is fantasy for a boring, white bread audience. They’d never honestly choose this life for themselves, but they wouldn’t mind fantasizing about it from time to time.

— Aoi wonders who would even go after her. The ninja dude begins to answer, but then his growling stomach interrupts him. As a result, the conversation is dropped entirely! God, it’s such an anime thing. We’re discussing something really important, but gosh, let’s just table it for hours and hours, because….

— A loco moco bowl with a ring of potato salad around the edges… I have never seen potato salad presented like that before.

— Bruh, where are your table manners?

— Man, ninja dude’s name is even Sasuke.

— Apparently, the color of an ayakashi determines its strength. Green ayakashi are supposedly weak and fragile. The more you know…

— Ayakashi do not age at the same rate as humans, so Sasuke is actually 80. And of course, he and Shiro used to be best buddies. The show continues to treat Shiro like a superstar even though the more I hear about him, the worse he seems to come across. He sold his granddaughter, abandoned two ayakashi after taking them in, and now we hear that he used to peep on women as they bathed. This is a two-cour series, so I’m sure the list will grow steadily.

— Aoi tells herself that she needs to practice waving her pot leaf… ’cause that’s hard.

— Dude, she’s doing all the prep work by herself. That’s not viable if she intends for Moonflower to become busy and profitable. Nevertheless, Aoi still finds the time to visit the city with Odanna. The place should probably also open for lunch.

— The girl quickly learns that she’s infamous, but not for the right reason. A recent newspaper has let it be known that she and Odanna will soon get hitched. Yo, what about the soon-to-open restaurant? You might want people to know about that as well. But like usual, Aoi’s not remotely perturbed; she looks mildly annoyed at best. Aoi’s biggest weakness is that she’s as careless as her late grandfather. He, however, was blessed with some weird ability to beat ayakashi up with just his bare fists. Our heroine can’t make the same bold claim.

— The girl eventually sees a mask that resembles the one she had seen in her youth, so she goes chasing after it. When she gets a closer look, however, she realizes that she’s dead wrong. I’m just like… they don’t even look remotely similar. But thanks to this little stunt, Aoi finds herself in danger again. Yeesh. This time, Odanna has to save the day.

— This old man apparently makes the cherry juice that Aoi likes. Well then, there’s one supplier.

— On the one hand, the Hidden Realm strikes me as a rather dangerous place. I’d never live there. You can’t even walk down the streets without the fear of being eaten. On the other hand, Odanna is showing off some rather controlling tendencies. I’m not gonna call him abusive yet, but you should always be wary of any red flags that you come across. But if Aoi is truly as careless as Shiro, well, she’s in for some harsh real world lessons.

— They’re having cassowary tempura… I don’t even know what a cassowary looks like.

— Ginji has been working for Odanna for the past 50 years, but to the ayakashi, this isn’t a significant amount of time at all. So, uh, what is their average life span?

— And now, our trio visit a shrine for establishing business connections and relationships. Ooh, foreshadowing. You just know that this is exactly what Aoi lacks. At the moment, however, she’s too lost in her own world to give it a serious thought.

— God, why do they write such pointless lines like “I’ve met many ayakashi up until today. I’m sure I’ll be meeting many other ayakashi, too, in the future.” Okay…? And…? Is that it? Is that all you have to say? I’ve lived my days up until today… and I’m sure I’ll live many more days, too… knock on wood. It’s just such an anime sort of line, y’know? It’s like how anime is full of people uttering other people’s names during serious moments: “Goku… Vegeta…” What? What the fuck do you want to say to them?! Nothing. They just wanted to utter the other person’s goddamn name!

— The eatery looks full on its opening night, but you’ll notice that only the tengu are in attendance. That’s not a good sign.

— Plus, the eatery looks a lot smaller on the inside. I was expecting a larger restaurant.

— God, look at all those dishes. I was gonna ask who would do them for Aoi, but then they all magically disappeared! Is this why she doesn’t need to hire more staff? Because Ginji has magical dishwashing powers?

— We also gotta remind ourselves that Aoi’s a home cook. Maybe the show won’t touch on it, but there’s always a danger in falling out of love with one of your hobbies when it suddenly becomes your job. When you have to do it day in and day out, your passions stop being fun. The fastest way to hate something is to make it obligatory. Luckily, I’ve never enjoyed programming or analyzing data, but why do you think I suddenly started blogging again? I needed a creative outlet to balance out my crappy job.

— Not surprisingly, the eatery hasn’t gotten a single customer for an entire week. And to make matters even worse, the accounting office wants to have a talk with Aoi. Looks like we have yet another bishie to win over!

— But honestly, we all saw this coming. The girl may have worked hard, but that doesn’t mean she worked smart. She came up with dishes that the ayakashi would like, but she didn’t advertise the business at all. The only thing she’s known for is marrying Odanna. Plus, she hasn’t done her homework. Would you open a restaurant without ever working in one? Yeah, yeah, she’s been busy; she’s had to make ice cream and mend a broken relationship between two stubborn spiders. But Aoi also needs to learn how to talk and establish relationships with her suppliers, balance the books, and maybe drum up some excitement.

Yep. 

3D Kanojo Real Girl Ep. 6

Ah, romances and misunderstandings… they’re practically inseparable. Except it’s not really a misunderstanding here. Hikari is just an immature child who isn’t ready to date. Even though he’s supposed to make up with his girlfriend, the vast majority of this week’s episode is about his buddy Yuto and how they first met. Great. So Hikari gets a bunch of potatoes from weeb girl Sumie, and he does what he always does: make food for people who are mad at him. Towards the end of the episode, he does finally smooth things over with Iroha, but it’s not entirely clear how. I think she just got tired of being mad at him.

Iroha decides to invite her boyfriend to her room, and the first thing he does is sniff her bed. Yeah, that’s not creepy at all. Hikari then proceeds to slut shame the girl for wearing comfortable clothing in the privacy of her own damn home. But does she ever mind his shitty attitude? Of course not. Iroha is like the impossibly ideal girl that all nerds dream about. She’s beautiful and has infinite patience. Even when she’s mad at you, she never raises her voice. She just dutifully waits for you to come to her with some half-assed apology, then she’ll forgive and love you anyways. So the guy ends trying his damndest to hold back his libido, shoves the girl to the ground anyway, then chickens out at the last second and bails. Look at him awkwardly shuffling out of her room with a boner. Yep, what a casanova.

Hikari then doubles down on shittiness the next morning. He then triples down on it by hanging out with Sumie right afterwards! It’s like he doesn’t give a shit about Iroha’s feelings at all. It’s always about what he wants. Oh, he’s uncomfortable with Iroha, so he gets to dictate how much time they spend together. He can’t apologize to her, because he doesn’t know why she’s mad. It’s not that he doesn’t trust her, but he just can’t believe that she would want to date him. My point is, this poor girl can’t move away soon enough.

Also, this is a lazily-drawn cat.

Dances with the Dragons Ep. 5

You heard the man. Ah, it’s a shame. I watched this episode when it was first released on Crunchyroll. Nearly a week later, and I’ve practically forgotten what it was even about. You can’t convince me to rewatch the episode, though. All I remember is that our heroes manage to survive their fight against Nidvolk, but only barely. Then Gayus has yet another boring ass conversation with Mouldeen.

Full Metal Panic! Invisible Victory Ep. 4

Ahhh, our worst nightmares have finally come true. We all knew Chidori would fall into the enemy’s hands one day. It was just a matter of when, and I’ve been dreading it ever since. It particularly stung when she swore that she would even try to love Leonard if it necessary to spare Sousuke’s life. Our hero will now spend the rest of the story saving her, and he will save her. There’s no doubt about that. Whether or not we’ll have the privilege of getting our happy ending before the end of 2018 is a little more difficult to predict. They will need a second cour to cover the rest of the novels, but I haven’t heard anything about that. Nevertheless, this is a frustrating development from a fan’s point-of-view. After all, Chidori and Sousuke are the canon couple, and yet, they will no rarely spend any time together until the story ends. Sure, sure, if I want to relive their happier moments, I could always go back and rewatch the older series. But surely, dear reader, you must understand where I am coming from.

Side note: I kinda fell asleep during all the moments with Tessa.

High School DxD Hero Ep. 4

I’m gonna drop this show from my schedule, ’cause I’m barely paying any attention when I try to watch it.

Hinamatsuri Ep. 5

Hina muttering, “Nani? Nani kore? Ne, nani kore?” over and over cracked me up. Anyways, someone needs to bite the bullet and just take poor Anzu in already.

Hisone to Maso-tan Ep. 4

Three more girls join the party, and they’re all weird in their own unique ways. El doesn’t see her dragon as a dragon. She insists on being as professional as possible in order to prove herself in a world dominated by men, but then she contradicts herself by refusing to follow orders in the middle of a practice mission. Hm. Mayumi is very nice, but at the same time, she looks like she’s on the verge of snapping. Since she’s built like an Amazon, she could probably break all of the other girls in half should she ever lose her temper. She seems to be the most motherly when it comes to the dragons. Last but not least, Liliko is… uh… super negative. She kinda fills the same role that Sucy did for Little Witch Academia but nowhere near as fun. Instead of turning their flaws into endearing character traits, these girls kinda just grate on you instead. Like I thought Nao was supposed to have turned a corner after the second episode, but she’s still a giant, massive bitch to Hisone.

So along those lines, El is the first of the new girls to stir up drama, but I suspect they’ll each take turns causing problems for our heroine to solve before we finally get to that big, juicy plot that the show keeps hinting at. But yeah, we need to take care of some petty character drama first, and as a cherry on top, the men on the show continue to be sexist assholes. Y’know, something about the girls being shrine maidens.

Legend of the Galactic Heroes – Die Neue These Ep. 6

Oh hey, it’s Yang’s love interest. What’s kind of interesting is how long she’s been keeping track of him and his career…

…yep, that’s her. I think she was 14 at the time, and he was 21. It’s no big deal. They’re both adults now.

Anyways, I get the impression that LotGH is very much impressed with great, young military commanders like Alexander the Great. Both men are like a wild flame, flickering brightly before quickly dying out. Neither Yang nor Reinhardt will grow old with their respective partners. What a shame that they should leave behind people who loved them so. And this is all because we prefer to remember great men as individuals that we can deify rather than mortals who will eventually grow old and slowly fade away into irrelevance.

Rokuhoudou Yotsuiro Biyori Ep. 5

I didn’t love this week’s episode all that much. The first short story features a reporter who is too embarrassed to walk into a cafe populated predominantly by female customers. He’s also too embarrassed to order desserts.

Look, it’s just not the sort of thing I can have any respect for. Even if he does correct himself in the end, it’s already too little, too late in my eyes.

Then we get to the second short story, and it’s like… a woman going through a weird dream sequence? All she did was eat a bowl of soup! Lame. But since we’re on the topic of Japanese-inspired desserts, I need to get my hands on a matcha mousse cake one of these days. I mean, just look at this slice of heaven:

It’s gorgeous.

Shokugeki no Soma S3 Ep. 17

Christ, how long are they content to milk this stupid match between Yukihara and Akira? We’re two episodes in, and Akira still hasn’t officially presented his dish. Seriously, we spent an entire episode just to have the hero present his bear cutlet to the judges (don’t even ask me why two of the judges are loli twins). I also think it’s hilarious that Azami wants Akira to join the Elite 10 and further his vision of fine-dining. So what does the guy do? He makes chicken-fried bear with gravy. I’m not saying it’s bad. I’m also not saying I wouldn’t eat it. But it kinda goes against Azami’s whole philosophy of refined cuisine, does it not? Ah, whatever.

Toji no Miko Ep. 17

Christ, talk about an exposition dump. The show finally clues us in on what’s happening in this second cour. Unfortunately, the writers have no clue how to tell this story without boring us to death. As a result, characters just sit around and talk our ears off. Basically, aradamas are not inherently evil (which is something we already figured out in the first season). The three princesses are just personifications of their complicated feelings for humanity. Princess Tagitsu wants to kill us, but Princess Takiri wants to rule over us. Last but not least, Princess Ichikishima wants to become one with humanity and usher in a new stage of their evolution. Oooh, synthesis. Unfortunately, the story still bores me to death. Not enough for me to drop the show, but the execution continues to leave me wanting.

Tokyo Ghoul:re Ep. 6

Seeing these two like this, I was hoping for a real mental battle between Ken and Haise. Unfortunately, what I got was a whole bunch of stupid fighting. Action is great. I love action. But action still has to serve a purpose. It needs to properly externalize the conflict between the characters, but Tokyo Ghoul:re throws so many faces at you that it’s hard to care about any of them. And even if we could care about them, the pendulum has swung too far in one direction. It’s mostly battles, battles, and more battles. It’s not even 50/50 when ideally it should really be like 75/25 in the favor of character drama.

Anyways, Hina endangers herself in order to protect the person she knows as Ken, so Haise is forced to confront his former self. In doing so, he realizes that Ken is just afraid of being erased as he is afraid of Ken erasing him. Whether or not this means he’ll fully accept his former self, however, remains to be seen as the episode ends on yet another cliffhanger. Well, not really. We know Haise/Ken won’t die. Still, any hopes of him reuniting with Touka by the end of this adaptation looks grim at best. Maybe they will, but it’ll probably be one of those maddening last seconds of the last episode thing.

Here are pictures from the one time I got to visit The French Laundry:

Warm gougeres.

Their famous salmon cornets. The cone is filled with sweet red onion creme fraiche.

Veloute de topinambours. That’s just another word for Jewish artichoke.

Oysters and pearls (read: caviar).

Shirako. In other words, fried cod sperm sack. And yes, it needed that many plates.

Hen egg custard.

Salmon Creek Farm pork belly.

Salad of Hawaiian hearts of palm. For some reason, there’s always hearts of palm on the menu. Thomas Keller just loves that damn vegetable. Personally, I find it rather flavorless, and this was probably the least enjoyable dish of the entire meal.

A very blurry shot of moulard duck foie gras en terrine. The restaurant likes its foie gras to be as smooth as possible, because it is accompanied by…

…this majestic piece of brioche. I didn’t care for the foie gras, but I could probably gorge myself to death on the toast alone.

One of the many breads you’ll get throughout the night.

Your choice of salted or unsalted butter.

And if you need more salt, here are six different kinds…

Sauteed filet of Gulf Coast red snapper. Obligatory fish course.

Sweet butter-poached Maine lobster mitts.

Hand-cut tagliatelle with copious amounts of black truffle. The best dish of the entire meal.

Devil’s Gulch Ranch epaule de lapin. Rabbit shoulder.

Elysian Fields Farm lamb ribeye.

The composed cheese course (Acapella). I generally prefer a cheese cart so I can pick and choose what cheese I want to eat.

Ruby red grapefruit sorbet. The palette cleanser.

Some sort of float? Another palette cleanser.

Alpaco mousee du chocolat.

Caramelized macadamia nuts.

Coffee semifreddo. This is one-half of The French Laundry’s famous “coffee and doughnuts” dessert.

The other half.

And the obligatory chocolate truffles at the end of the meal.

Self-explanatory.

Here’s the view from across the street. Anyways, I would obviously like to go back someday, but it’s not exactly the most convenient restaurant to revisit. Yountville pretty much has nothing but The French Laundry. You can pretty much say the same about California’s infamous “Wine Country.” There’s wine… and… well, more wine.

So we have an AI who has Kurisu’s memories but no corporeal body. And in this week’s episode, we are introduced to Kurisu’s physical lookalike (except, of course, her breasts are too big), but the new girl has no memories to speak of. Basically, she’s an amnesiac. Look, I just figured it out. If we just fuse these two together, we’ll have our Kurisu back! No need to play Steins;Gate 0 at all!

— Speaking of Steins;Gate 0, I could get the PS4 version for about 30 bucks. Has anyone tried it? Is it worth playing?

— Does nobody notice Rintaro freaking out about Moeka? Or is it one of those anime things where his inner mental state is visibly only to the audience? At least Suzuha asks him about it later. Daru seems oblivious, though.

— Mass animal corpses in America? That can’t be random.

— It wouldn’t be the end of the world if Moeka was still after Mayuri’s life. I kid, I kid… but not really. Mayuri is the worst girl. I just really dislike overly cutesy, childish characters.

— Wait, Moeka sniffed out Daru’s secret work, so he just decides to ask her for help?

— Rintaro can’t trust the woman, but then he doesn’t protest when Daru decides to hire her. Ah, anime characters and their lack of communication. He doesn’t have to outright make a scene, but he could at least suggest to Daru that they should talk it over first.

— Oh hey, it’s Yuugo and Nae. I wonder if they’re bad guys in this timeline as well.

— God, it kinda ticks me off that these characters continually back off after questioning Rintaro just a tiny bit. He has all this useful information, but he can’t share it with anyone due to his trauma. But at the same time, where do we draw the line? At some point, your allies need to know what you know. I understand that they all care for him, so they won’t push him. But we need someone who will. We need someone to challenge Rintaro. We need someone who cares about him, but won’t also allow the guy to fall into a mental rut. This is a role that should’ve been fulfilled by Amadeus, but…

— …our hero is ignoring Amadeus for now. He hasn’t informed anyone about this, though. He tells neither Maho nor Alexis that he’s uneasy about the experiment, and obviously, he won’t voice his concerns to the AI. It’s so frustrating to watch a guy who just shuffles to and fro like a zombie. You can’t blame everything on your trauma or broken heart.

— And more on the Amadeus thing… my main interest in this show is seeing how the guy interacts with his Kurisu-flavored AI. I know we’ll see more of her later, but I’m kinda disappointed that she’s been temporarily shelved for the time being.

— Wouldn’t Amadeus know if his phone is broken or not? I thought she had access to its files.

— Messy girl.

— Every character has this dumb problem. Maho wants to pay Rintaro a visit, but she tries to hide this fact from the astute Alexis. Why? Okay, she’s embarrassed, but again, why? ‘Cause they’re a man and a woman? Haha, I mean… c’mon, they’re both grown-ups, and they’re both working on the same experiment (even though he’s just a volunteer guinea pig). What is there to be embarrassed about? These stupid animeisms drag down a potentially good story with their mere presence.

— Moeka already has her report on the Kagari issue. That was fast. There’s a second party also looking for her. A group of men, in fact. One of them is a foreigner. How many foreigners do we even know? Just Alexis, I think? Ooooh, Alexis, what have you been up to, you naughty professor!

— What’s with these shadowy figures in broad daylight? Who knew so much shady conspiracies could unfold in Akihabara of all places?

— Damn, mismatched shoes. Tsk tsk. Or is this supposed to be “moe?”

— Y’know, if you’re being followed, I think the last thing you should do is to enter an empty alleyway. I bet it’s nobody dangerous anyway.

— So the “stalker” is just her foreign professor friend. Christ.

— Her breasts are even bigger than what is already considered big for this anime, because she’s a foreigner. GG anime.

— Maho: “But it was still cruel of you to stalk me from the station.” Judy claims, however, that she just saw Maho enter the alleyway, so she decided to say hi to her friend. Hmmm. Hmmmmmmm. Neither Judy nor Alexis seem all that trustworthy. Is Steins;Gate 0 trying to make a point about foreigners making a mess of Japan?!

— Everyone just assumes that Maho and Rintaro are a thing, which makes the girl feel even more annoyed. This writing, man. Adults aren’t actually like this. I have yet to see anyone tease me for hanging out with my opposite sex friends.

— Daru: “Did we trigger the flag for Miss Hiyajo to be inducted into the lab as our token loli character?” You laugh, but she’s already this show’s token loli character. Plus, is he really gonna gush on and on about lolis in front of his damn daughter?

— Maho wants to give Rintaro a way out of the experiment, but he won’t let go. He can’t talk to Amadeus without being thrown for a loop, but he isn’t willing to get rid of the AI either. He can’t think logically. He can’t separate his emotions from his decision-making. On the one hand, I understand why he is the way that he is. On the other hand, it’s so frustrating to watch. It’s weird, isn’t it? The original Rintaro might have been too much of a hero. Maybe this Rintaro is more realistic. Nevertheless, I like him way, way less.

— Sometimes, we want our heroes to exemplify the qualities that we may never find within ourselves… but if you push it too far, they become a Mary Sue. Treading that fine line is what distinguishes a great writer from merely an adequate one. I think the person behind Steins;Gate can adequately tell a story, but I have yet to be engrossed by either this series or the original.

— Oh noooo, it’s worst girl Mayuri! And the first thing that comes out of her mouth are plans for yet another goddamn party. She probably feels that this is the best way that she can support him, but eh…

— Rukako drops by, and he’s like, “Oh, there’s someone I want you to meet.” How come nobody ever messages each other first beforehand?

— Not every girl with red hair is Kurisu, man.

— But shit, if that isn’t a dead ringer for the dead girl… it isn’t Kurisu, though. Our new redhead claims to be… nobody. She just has amnesia, so she has no clue who she is. For some reason, Rukako thinks that Rintaro might be able to help. ‘Cause, y’know, he’s always talking about “complicated things.” Haha, c’mon… Anyways, with the new girl’s red hair, the fact that her face resembles Kurisu’s, and her missing memories, is this not the Kagari that we’re looking for?

— For now, our amnesiac’s name is just Kana. When she sees Mayuri, she collapses from shock. Just to seal the deal, Suzuha walks in, sees the girl, and calls her Kagari. Welp.

— I still can’t shake the feeling that it’s not that simple, but maybe I’m just paranoid after all the stuff about Maho being stalked.

Boy, I hope we don’t have to see anyone die in the ring today. 

— Nanbu used to motivate his former pupil by saying that it was “all for a brighter tomorrow.” Those words must have stuck with Aragaki, ’cause shortly after the war, he must have felt as though there was no tomorrow.

— We’re getting the slow countdown again. In fact, we’ll get it multiple times throughout this episode. We can expect this every time Joe goes up against an impressive performance, but it’ll get diminishing returns with each subsequent use.

— According to Nanbu, Aragaki has learned to use his prosthetic limbs to his advantage. Still, you can only imagine how different this fight might go if Joe wasn’t deprived of his Gear. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if he’ll ever fight with one again.

— Joe grabs onto Aragaki to slow the fight down. This is clinching, and it’s a legitimate survival strategy. Every boxer clinches, but people seem to think that Mayweather is the biggest offender. Viewers can get as mad as they want about how clinching is boring to watch, but if your goal is to win at all costs (and make it into Megalonia), then you gotta do what you gotta do. Plus, it all depends on what the refs will allow. Some refs will break it up quickly. Some won’t. The audience should really get mad at the refs instead.

— It looks like the refs here don’t give a shit about clinching. Aragaki had to shove Joe off by himself. Joe ends up being saved at the bell. Had that clinch lasted any shorter, he would’ve lost.

— Nanbu wants Joe to retire, but the kid’s pride won’t let him do so: “This is a one-way train with no stops.” Sure sounds like this Joe might end up the same way as the original Joe.

— Still, I almost want to see Joe lose because of his arrogance. Thankfully, he swallows his pride a teensy, tiny bit by finally taking Nanbu’s instructions to heart. Even still, however, I don’t think Yuri managed to humble this kid enough. I just want to see Joe develop into a more well-rounded character, but maybe he’ll live and die by his recklessness.

— Oh my, Joe simply chanting Nanbu’s instructions is enough to set Aragaki off. I wonder if this is how our war veteran loses his composure.

— Nanbu wants Joe to switch up his strategy on the fly, but our hero insists otherwise. Hmm.

— Joe doesn’t think that Aragaki is out for revenge, but he doesn’t quite say what his theory is. Why are you holdin’ out on us, Joe? As a result, Nanbu gets to stew in his thoughts. He ends up blaming himself even more for failing his former student. We’re already in the third round, but it still doesn’t look like Joe has found any solution to his Aragaki problem.

— Our hero continues to stand and take his punishment. His chanting continues to piss Aragaki off even more. Then all of a sudden, an opening reveals itself. Aragaki suddenly finds himself reliving a painful memory, so his concentration lapses for just a brief second. As a result, Joe finally gets to punch back, and this sends Aragaki to the mat. Now it’s his turn to go through the slow countdown.

— Joe has almost no past to speak of. Well, he must have a past. We all do. But what I mean is that we have no knowledge of it. The story hasn’t indulged us on that front whatsoever. All the guy ever does is look to the horizon in front of him. Meanwhile, Aragaki can try all he wants to delude himself into thinking that he’s fighting for tomorrow, but the man remains forever trapped in the past. It’s almost as if he fights in order to hold onto his hate for Nanbu — to blame all his problems on a coach who had failed him. Megalo boxing might’ve initially given him a reason to keep living, but every time he puts on those gloves, he’s reminded that his former coach abandoned him. As a result, megalo boxing is also keeping him from living the rest of his life to the fullest. This is thus a fight between two men facing in opposite directions.

— Luckily for our hero, he’s managed to overcome his biggest mental hurdle: Nanbu is finally solidly in his corner. His coach finally truly wants him to win this. Before now, the old man just wanted to run away from his past, and that would’ve been best accomplished by having Joe forfeit. Now, win or lose, Nanbu is willing to accept the consequences.

— Aragaki’s coach tells him to break Joe’s spirit, but whose spirit is already broken?

— Joe is like a machine as he continues to chant Nanbu’s instructions. How ironic considering that his opponent is more machine than man (not really, but you know what I mean).

— As our hero continues to push his advantage, Aragaki continues to lose himself in his past more and more. What is he even living for these days?

— Both men sportingly grin at each other at the ring of the latest bell, though. So there’s that.

— All of a sudden, Aragaki’s coach gives him a knowing nod, and the war veteran has decided to forfeit. Wow… that was anticlimactic.

— In fact, Aragaki is retiring.

— I’m glad Aragaki didn’t decide to fight until one of them died — and maybe… just maybe he’s realized that he needs to look to the future instead of the past all the time — but man, I wish they could’ve just finished the fight out legitimately.

— Yeesh.

— Nanbu does the right thing by paying Aragaki a visit after the match. The latter reveals that if he had kept fighting, he would’ve ended up bedridden for the rest of his life. This match helped him realize, however, that not all of Nanbu’s lessons need to be bitter pills. Joe’s steadfast adherence to Nanbu’s instructions forced Aragaki to admit that the old man did actually teach him some valuable life lessons. Namely, he needs to fight for tomorrow, and this time, it meant giving up the fight in the ring. As the old adage goes, you need to live to fight another day.

— Aragaki wanted to end everything once and for all. Win or lose, he’d no longer have to fight. He wanted to opt out of his life. This is what Joe sensed in his opponent.

— We finally learn what that all-important slip of paper meant.

— We suddenly cut to Yukiko introducing the third Megalonia combatant. I don’t care too much about him. Rather, I want the story to explain at some point why the future of her company rests on Yuri’s victory.

— It looks as though Yuri hasn’t kept up on Joe at all. Awww, and here I thought they were chingus.

Could anyone possibly steal Narumi away from Hirotaka? 

— I kinda dislike Narumi’s voice. It’s really whiny and childish.

— Also, these two don’t look comfortable in their own home. Why are they wearing their work clothes outside of work?

— Hirotaka wanted to be all grown up when he was a kid, and now that he’s all grown up, he wishes he could be a kid again. That pretty much describes all of us, doesn’t it? Of course, I’d make one minor change: I’d like to be a kid again, but still keep all my independence. I can’t stand the thought of having to ever live under the same roof as my parents ever again. Ugh. I’m one of those Asians who do not feel any sort of filial piety.

— At work the next day, Hirotaka falls asleep at lunch. I bet the guy hasn’t been getting enough sleep, because he stays up to play games all the time.

— Starbocks? Why not just come up with an entirely different name?

— I like frappes, but then again, I have a sweet tooth. I’ve never ordered so many add-ons, though. I also haven’t had a frappe in over a year. I guess you could say I don’t like them that much. Rather, I just dislike this gatekeeping tendency from coffee lovers to look down on people who enjoy frappes. They’re not hurting you by loading up their drinks with cream and sugar, so why do you care?

— Regular size? Don’t you mean tall? God, I hate Starbucks’ naming convention. One time, I said small, and the lady just condescendingly replied, “I’m sorry, but we don’t have a size small.”

— Oh ho ho, Narumi thinks that her barista is cute.

— In fact, they seem to know each other.  had initially thought that we might have met a rival for Narumi’s love or something, but Taro and Hanako are freaking out in the background. That makes me think that this is a perfectly innocent encounter.

— Really? Taro idolizes her?

— Hanako wants to stay out of it, so she convinces her boyfriend to hold his tongue. The guy is having a real hard time of it, though. I wonder if he wants to do his bro a favor or something. Still, nothing here is setting off any alarms. Narumi is showing Nao pictures of some cat on her phone. Unless there’s, like, physical contact, who cares? Then again, maybe Japanese culture is more sensitive about this sort of thing.

— Ah, Taro is projecting his feelings.

— Hirotaka then just slips into the scene without Taro noticing. Hanako had invited him, so for all her talk about staying out of it, she just didn’t want to confront Narumi herself.

— I’m amazed that Narumi hasn’t noticed her friends freaking out in the background, but anime characters are always oblivious to their surroundings.

— Hirotaka proceeds to calmly walk over to Narumi and Nao, so this cements even further in my mind that nothing weird is happening here. Maybe Nao is like a former childhood friend or something.

— Oh… both guys respond to “Nifuji.” There you go; they’re brothers.

— Y’know, brothers can still steal each other’s girlfriends. Just sayin’.

— Nao now wants to crash at his big bro’s apartment, so Narumi invites herself as well. I wonder if Narumi is into incestuous yaoi fantasies.

— Man, why are these two bros so friendly to each other?

— In fact, everyone has decided to come over. Taro still seems rather suspicious of Nao. According to Hanako, he insisted on coming over, so maybe he wants to keep an eye on the little bro for some reason.

— “Squid Girl?” Are they talking about Splatoon, maybe?

— Everyone’s freaking out about the fact that Nao is a normie. Everyone but Hirotaka, of course. I don’t really see what the big deal is, but I guess the show has to dramatize everything for entertainment purposes. Narumi is so obsessed with concealing her otakuness. I guess I just can’t relate. Unless you’re literally bringing a body pillow with your waifu on it to work, I don’t think anyone would give a shit that you’re an otaku. And if they do, then they’re not worth getting to befriending in the first place.

— Narumi’s trying to so hard to accommodate Nao, but I don’t think anyone likes being treated differently.

— Sounds like they’re playing Smash Bros. It’s not a game that I care for, personally. Needless to say, Nao is thoroughly a casual. He did not inherit any of his brother’s aptitude for games at all. Not even a fraction of it. Nao is worried that he’s let his brother down, Narumi is worried that Nao might be put off, and Hirotaka just doesn’t give a shit.

— Personally, you wouldn’t want to be on my team in any game. I hate losing. This is why I generally play single player games where I don’t have to depend on others to succeed.

— Nao offers to walk Narumi to the station, but Taro insists otherwise: “…she has a boyfriend, so don’t make things complicated.” Where is this even coming from? There hasn’t been one remotely flirty thing that has occurred between Narumi and Nao, so what gives? I’d understand if Nao had been touchy with her all night, but uh… this is such an overreaction.

— The kid initially thinks that Taro was referring to himself, so Hanako had to force a kiss on her boyfriend to clear things up. She’s too good for this show. Taro, on the other hand, is a jackass. He’s all worried about other people’s relationships, but he can’t even handle his own.

— Nao had no clue that his brother and Narumi are dating. Her response? “But, anyway… I guess…” Man, that girl sure is confident about their relationship.

— The little bro suddenly starts crying out of nowhere. But he’s not crying because he has feelings for Narumi. He’s just glad that Hirotaka won’t die alone. In fact, he’s been rooting for his big bro all this time. It’s okay to be alone, guys. People can still live fulfilling lives without a partner.

— In any case, after last week’s troubles and now this week’s nonsense, Taro comes across as the least likable character on the show by far.

In this week’s episode, Tada finally gets a pulse. He finally realizes he might actually feel something for Teresa after all. This anime is cute enough, but for the past five episodes, our hero has barely shown much of a personality. More importantly, this is supposed to be a love story, but he doesn’t treat Teresa any differently from the rest of his friends. Sure, she seemed to be infatuated with him, but Tada remained as oblivious as ever. It was hard to see any sort of chemistry between those two. Well, the other shoe finally dropped.  We never appreciate what we have until we realize that we never really had it in the first place. Charles’ sudden entrance into the story is a stark reminder that Teresa belongs to a whole ‘nother world. Tada and his friends still don’t have a clue that the girl is royalty, but it’s painfully clear that they are worlds apart. The best that he and Teresa can do is gaze upon the same star, but they are just children. They are oh so young, so they have no clue what how to live their lives. Our hero is still trying to get over his parents’ deaths, and our heroine convinces herself that being a caged bird is ultimately for the best not just for herself but her loved ones as well. No one can be honest with themselves or each other. Not even Alec, Teresa’s best friend.

During a fancy party, Teresa gets distracted by a building, so she leaves on her own to take a closer look. When it begins to rain, she is forced to take shelter with Tada who just happened to be in the same location. Separated from the rest of high society, the girl can finally speak freely with someone for once and not have to mind her position in life. Back at the party, however, Alec is freaking out. After all, her princess has gone missing. When she finally discovers Teresa, she glances at Tada with an almost accusatory look. She then looks away out of guilt ’cause she knows she’s going against her lady’s true feelings. She’s relieved that Teresa is safe, but she’s also afraid that her lack of care and attention may have allowed Teresa to stray. It’s in these moments that social status and rankings can feel so absolutely stupid. Teresa is willing to marry Charles, but she doesn’t love him. Alec likes Charles, and Teresa knows it, but both girls feel powerless about the situation. Last but not least, Alec knows Teresa is not fully happy with the decision to marry Charles once she returns from Japan, but she is duty bound to keep her princess safe. Not just safe from danger, mind you, but also safe from ruin. The princess should not fall in love with some commoner in Japan. No, the princess should marry Charles, a Frenchman born from noble stock. It is only fitting… or something.

And if you’re hoping for any sort of resolution in next week’s episode, you can keep on dreaming. Judging by the next episode preview, we’ll be returning right back to fleshing out the side characters and their backstories. I think it’s Dog-kun’s turn next. In any case, Tada-kun seems like such a happy-go-lucky show that it’s hard to imagine the story ending on a sour note. More specifically, it’s hard to imagine Teresa returning to Larsenburg and marrying Charles while Tada looks on helplessly. Of course, I don’t think our canon couple will profess their undying love to each other either. Realistically, the one-cour adaptation will just call it quits on some open-ended note in case we ever want a sequel. That, of course, is just my prediction. At the same time, this is an original story, so maybe we will get a concrete ending. Either way, judging by the story’s tone, I just don’t see things ending poorly. Nevertheless, it’s thoroughly frustrating whenever I encounter such passive characters. Maybe this is just a cultural sort of thing, but it’s maddening when people can’t communicate. They worry so much about being selfless to their loved ones that they screw themselves over. Can you truly be happy marrying someone not out of love but out of duty? Can you truly be happy watching another man lead your woman away? Say something.

I think what gets me the most is Alec’s difficult position as both Teresa’s bodyguard and her best friend. Again, maybe it’s a cultural thing, but I think the best friend part should win out. I honestly don’t think her position is as difficult as the anime would like us to believe. As Teresa’s best friend, she should realize what would truly make Teresa happy. Maybe she will come to realize this at some later point in the series, but for now, I can’t stand the fact that she’s yet another person who puts pressure on the princess to mind her propriety. Teresa only reassures Alec that she will marry Charles after seeing her best friend cry. Of course, we must ultimately accept responsibility for our lives, so Teresa can only blame herself if she truly does end up with Charles. It’s 2018, man. Maybe not exactly 2018, but it’s at least the 21st century. You can do whatever you want, marry whoever you want, go wherever you want. Discover who you are and who you want to be! No one has to get married right out of high school in this day and age. Certainly not royalty! Prince William didn’t get hitched until well into his adulthood! So the only person keeping Teresa from flying the coop is, well, herself.

Last but not least, although Tada might have finally gotten a pulse in this week’s episode, he’s still barely alive. He’s supposed to be the hero of this story, but he’s so flat and undynamic for a lead character. All he’s done so far is play the straight man to every quirky person around him. He’s only the most respectable male character by default. It’s easy to look like a winner next to the narcissistic Kaoru, the perverted Pin-senpai, and the idiotic Dog-kun. It’s hard to imagine why Teresa even likes him at all other than the fact that he’s the lead character. Otherwise, the guy might as well be invisible. Fate has handed him a princess, and he’s barely noticed! Well, it’s time for Tada to put on his big hero pants and finally develop a personality, because he’s quickly running out of time. We’re nearly halfway through this one-cour series, and the girl can’t stick around forever! Don’t get me wrong, though. Tada’s not unlikable. The problem is that he’s not likable either. His presence is so minuscule that it’s easy to forget that we’re supposed to be rooting for him in the first place. Let’s face it: in terms of male characters that are best suited for Teresa, the person who truly sits at the very top is the Rainbow Shogun. Sadly, Tada is a distant second.

Misc. notes & observations:

— Charles: “You can introduce me as just your childhood friend.” Welp, he’s out of the running.

— After Charles leaves, Teresa pauses and stares at the coffee shop next door. It’s obvious where her feelings lie. Still, it’s a bit surprising how quickly they’ve developed.

— Alec is “reassured” now that Charles has shown up? How odd. Is she afraid that Teresa will shirk her duties? Does she have a vested interest in seeing Teresa marry this man?

— The redhead clearly like Charles, but she won’t admit it. She probably doesn’t think it is proper to do so. I hate this sort of passivity, though. Maybe that makes me uncouth and unfit for the ranks of the nobility, but I never keep my thoughts to myself. Hell, you guys know that. Just look at this shitty blog full of thoughts nobody ever asked for.

— Alec: “…he is a fine fiance worthy of you, Teresa….” There’s no mention of love anywhere. And yet, Teresa just passively agrees.

— So the three stooges dislike Charles at first, but the Frenchman easily win them over. For Kaoru, he just has to act as if the kid is cool. For Dog-kun, praise the kid’s weird ass animal pictures… like seriously, what the hell are these? And for Pin-senpai, it’s obvious: praise HINA.

— At least Charles is not dumb enough to think that HINA and Hinako are two different people.

— And just like that, the Frenchmen have the three stooges eating out of his hand. What a bunch of jobbers.

— Teresa’s photo is supposed to be a rock that’s shaped like a penguin, but it reminds me of a potato. Why? ‘Cause I feel like the girl’s about as bright as a potato.

— Alec’s soft side apparently comes out in her photos. And now, our tsuntsun girl has gone all deredere on us. Pathetic.

— When Dog-kun comments on Teresa and Charles’ closeness, Tada agrees. The girl seems to have overheard this comment, and she does not look pleased. But of course, she won’t say anything. She doesn’t have anyone to confide in. Even her best friend cannot lend a shoulder to cry on, because Alec would only convince her that marrying Charles is the right thing to do. Teresa must feel lonely, no? She still tries to be her usual cheerful self, though. How does she do it? How does she store so much unhappiness inside herself and never let it be known? It just feels terrible.

— Yui likes Charles. Even Nyanko Big likes Charles. I get it: Everyone likes Charles.

— Hm, Charles nervously touches his bracelet when he hears about Tada’s parents. I wonder…

— Looks like Nyanko Big still has his own love story to deal with.

— These subtitles are on point.

— So Kaoru invites his buddies all to a fancy party, and the episode never really explains how he has such connections. I thought his parents just own some old-fashioned Japanese restaurant.

— Pin-senpai does not deserve his childhood friend at all.

— I find it interesting that this is the first time that Tada is taken by Teresa’s beauty. I think she looks much better in her day-to-day outfit. Alec, on the other hand, has quite a plunging neckline. Hoo boy, talk about daring for a teenager.

— She knows! She knows, man! She knows that Teresa likes Tada. You can’t be a best friend and not notice! But at the same time, you can be a best friend and also pressure your girl into a loveless marriage! Maybe she just thinks anyone would grow to love Charles, but don’t be naive! Love doesn’t work like that (usually).

— Pin-senpai really doesn’t deserve his childhood best friend.

— Plus, Teresa isn’t even subtle about it. She’s busy looking for Tada even though she’s trailing along behind Charles like some sort of attendant. She hardly feels like his equal.

— Again, this show is normally so happy-go-lucky that we’ll probably see Charles and Alec end up together anyway. Maybe. This week’s episode is the first time we’ve gotten any sort of conflict and character drama.

— Kaoru normally annoys me, but you gotta hand it to him: he has the guts to just munch on that drumstick like he’s in his own home. Always be confident. Always act as if you own the place… or rather, you don’t care who actually owns the place.

— Teresa may as well live in Tada’s camera.

— Charles: “But being apart from each other is one thing. Mutual neglect is another.” Huh. Interesting.

— Not really, but I get what he’s saying here.

— So many wordless stares in this moonlit garden. Tada stares. Even Kaoru stares. It’s important that he’s here as Tada’s best friend. He has to play the role of Alec’s counterpart.

— This is probably the most interesting episode yet. At the same time, however, it is also the most frustrating, because the characters are so typical in their actions and mannerisms.

On this week’s episode, we get to watch idiots eat forks! 

— So we pick up where we last left off with Zero. He somehow managed to disobey Ryuuou’s command and run away from the kid and Chuo. Unfortunately, Mr. Trap appeared out of nowhere and attacked the guy with a stun gun. Zero was running, and as you can see from the previous screenshot, there’s nothing but a wide open field around them. How exactly did Nakano appear out of literally nowhere? Plus, this is straight up kidnapping now.

— Back in his stupid dungeon, Ryuuou swears that he needs to get more slaves. God, I can only imagine what dumb backstory he has to try and justify his need to enslave people.

— Unfortunately, Julia shows up with some bad news: someone stole Zenichi. Like… what? Just waltz in there and dragged the guy out of his hospital room? All that was left behind is this fancy red envelope.

— Nice.

— So is this letter supposed to be written in blood or something, ’cause the color doesn’t look like blood. It looks like the letter had been written with a marker.

— Afterwards, Chuo goes on some official business, and Shiori decides to tag along. This is her chance to ask about his backstory, so that we, the audience, can hear all about it. Gosh, I can’t wait. Don’t you guys wanna hear more about why these idiots all risked their autonomy for some stupid game?

— I had assumed that Chuo was Ryuuou’s first slave, but nah. Looks like Ryuuou got to Julia first. You also gotta wonder if Julia even lost a game. She speaks so glowingly of Ryuuou that maybe she wants to be his slave with or without the SCM.

— Anyways, Chuo used to be one of Julia’s customers because she’s a dead ringer for someone he used to love. I always hate this trope. Like sure, they might look like the person you used to know, but if they don’t act like the person you used to know, then what’s the point? Hey, guess what? If I meet someone who looks like my first love in a hostess club, I wouldn’t give it any goddamn thought. Why? ‘Cause I sure as hell wouldn’t be in love with a hostess.

— So she challenged Chuo to a game, and he had to guess the color of her panties. Thus far, every game that we’ve seen has been won with either trickery or brute strength. No one has actually competed fairly. As such, the trick to this game was that Julia wasn’t wearing any panties. Oh ho ho, how clever. Basically, if you ever enter a duel, make sure you pick the game. Don’t let them decide. The person who gets to choose the game always, always has the advantage. God only knows when any of these chumps will realize this, though.

— “Well gosh she was so sad looking so why not!”

— A normal guy?! You think Chuo is a normal guy?!

— Not only that, Shiori thanks Chuo for saving her! But the dog saved her! How ungrateful!

— Even Chuo corrects her on this fact. So again, this reminds me that Nakano would only become Julia’s slave if the latter had managed to save Shiori… so what gives?

— Nevertheless, Shiori continues to be grateful towards Chuo, because herp derp they saved Nakano. Who cares about that twerp? You just became a slave!

— So why can’t you disobey an order once you become a slave? ‘Cause it feels really, really bad. And vaguely sexual for some reason.

— The next day, Yuuga also gets a letter from the crazy person, so he intends to duel them with Ayaka in tow. And of course, he wants Eia as backup. Ayaka is clearly being coerced into doing whatever Yuuga wants. As a result, Eia has had enough. She didn’t want to own slaves. She thought they’d just be testing themselves. Yuuga even claimed that he’d release his slaves at first. That’s the problem with people in general, though. They always pretend to stick to their morals, but as soon as you give them a way to abuse their advantage, they’ll take it. You can’t expect people to play fair on their own accord. You can hope that they do, but you can’t expect it.

— He’s changed? You barely even know him! This is who Yuuga has always been. He said whatever he had to say in the beginning to trick Eia into playing along.

— Anyways, if Eia walks away, then she can cleanse herself of all this sordid business right? All of a sudden, she gets this photo sent to her phone. No, walk away! Just walk away! Who even gives a shit about Yuuga? He’s a slave owner! It’s not Eia’s responsibility to save him!

— But the stupid girl shows up anyway, and oh look, it’s Yuuga in a dumb mask.

— Not only that, he’s torturing Ayaka. You aren’t allowed to command your slave to kill themselves, though. At some point, Yuuga would have to stop her… right? Who even knows anymore!

— Yuuga reveals his motivations, but they’re not interesting. He’s another pathetic, bored little boy looking to get his rocks off.

— And his grand plan to make Eia obey him is to make her dog his slave. After all, he still wants her as backup should he ever lose a duel. As a result, he can’t make her a slave. The next best thing is to target Poochy, because she loves Poochy so. Look, I love my cat more than anything. But if I have to give up my cat in order to walk away from all this SCM bullshit, sorry girl!

— Unfortunately, Poochy willingly duels Yuuga. The dog is smart enough to understand exactly what people are saying, but it’s not smart enough to realize that maybe it shouldn’t accept duels. And sadly, Poochy doesn’t even have a master, so Eia can’t tell Poochy not to duel.

— And even more unfortunately, Yuuga gets to decide what game they’re playing. As a result, Poochy has to duel Ayaka in an eating contest where the only “food” in front of them are stainless steel utensils. The guy is a fucking rat bastard, and naturally, things will get worse from here on out. Again, I’d walk away, but Eia is too attached to Poochy. As a result, Poochy loses the duel, and Eia has to stick around to make sure her dog is safe. Dumb.

— Then to cap off the episode, Yuuga confesses his love. That’s swell of him.

— I dislike every single person on this show. They’re all idiots to me. Eia at least has morals, but that doesn’t say much when she fucks up over and over and over. Why try and save Yuuga by yourself at all? Report the damn photo to the cops and let them sort it out.

Theo may have won over his Altirk buddies, but he needs help if he wants the rest of Union to cooperate. This is where Alexis comes in. 

— No cold opening? Hmm.

— Everyone in the Altirk Treaty is just gonna allow Theo to take Villar’s old throne? Lassic walks forward and kneels before his old buddy. He always did promise that he’d gladly serve under Theo again. In fact, he promised that all the way back at the beginning of the series (episode 4, I think). Technically, Theo did do most of the work in the battle against Milza, so why not?

— It’s still not entirely clear whether or not Theo is powering up with all of these crests. Against Milza, he made it seem like his opponent was just weaker than usual. Plus, our hero hasn’t exactly performed any amazing feats by himself.

— There’s drama surrounding Villar’s brothers, but eh… I barely know what their deal is other than that they’re not great leaders. One of them will take up his mother’s name instead… because he doesn’t feel as though he has the right to go forward as a Constance. But I mean, if you suck that much, aren’t you just gonna fuck up your mother’s name instead? Like what’s the logic here?

— What happened to the crotchety old man who was against Theo all those times?

— Siluca looks happier about this than Theo.

— Theo’s first move is controversial: he wishes to remain neutral, which means he’ll withdraw from Union. The status quo won’t change all that much. Either way, he’s going to have to fight. He’ll still cooperate with Union, and he’ll still butt heads with Alliance. So what’s the difference? Well, this way, he won’t have to deal with Union politics. After all, that alliance is hampered by the fact that it has too many cooks in the kitchen. Different lords have different agendas, and they’re not all pulling for what Theo values most: peace. But on the other hand, that’s just the price you have to pay for democracy. Not everyone’s going to agree, and you can’t just always secede if you don’t get your way. At the end of the day, it’s tricky. I guess the argument here is that we can always go back to something more democratic once peace has been restored, but this assumes that the winner will relinquish their authority.

— How can you say that Alliance is as strong as ever when it just lost one of its greatest warriors? It also lost a huge chunk of territory.

— I will never not take screenshots of anime food.

— Look at all these side characters that we’ve all but forgotten about. What ever happened to that magical cat of Siluca’s?

— Take this priestess, for instance. What is her deal? She first came into the story with a little intrigue, but since then, she’s completely disappeared as a character.

— Later that night, Theo waits to speak to Siluca privately. I wish they would act more like a couple considering how they sealed the deal months ago. She’s still way too professional around him.

— So the guy has to make the first move again. He wants her to be with him when it’s all said and done. Y’know, be with him. But she’s all just “I already pledged to serve you forever!” Girl, he’s gonna waifu the shit outta you.

— She wants him to be specific?!

— Way to throw someone’s love back in their face.

— In the end, she accepts his proposal, but she wants to keep their relationship private until the war is over. He had already made out with her in front of all his soldiers, though. In fact, the act seemed to pump them up. Imagine how thrilled they would be if they knew that they were fighting for not just their lord, but a queen as well?

— Geez, morbid.

— Elsewhere, Marrine has her eyes set on the Earl of Le Couleurs. Man, I can’t keep all of these names and titles straight. Just show me a picture of him, and I’ll probably know who it is. But for now, all I can do is shrug.

— Siluca: “Pope Leone of the Order of the Crest proclaimed himself to be the Holy Grail.” Wait, what?

— But wait, it’s Priscilla who’s the Holy Grail! Unfortunately, I don’t even know what a Holy Grail does in this universe! This sudden development just came out of left field.

— That’s what I’m asking, dude!

— So wait, if you just give all the crests to Priscilla, God will save the world? C’mooooooon…

— Why isn’t Priscilla a more notable person in the story, then? Why haven’t we seen more people go after her if she’s so important? It doesn’t sound as if Siluca had to do any deep digging in order to figure out that the girl is the Holy Grail.

— I also like how there’s no lead up to this power move by the pope. Basically, he could announce his intent to gather up all the crests. The people would be on his side if they’re devout. All of a sudden, we have yet another faction to contend with. My problem, though, is that this just came out of nowhere. We haven’t built up to this major revelation whatsoever. Siluca just casually walked up to Priscilla in this week’s episode and engaged the priestess in a conversation.

— True to his generic anime boi personality, Theo would gladly give up his crest if it meant saving Siluca. He already gave up nearly all his power for her anyways. This shouldn’t surprise her.

— Oh, this guy is the Earl of Le Couleurs. Man, I barely remember him. And apparently, he just died offscreen. Awesome.

— I don’t remember who Lord Dawson is either.

— Siluca’s plan? Pay Alexis a visit and cheer him up. Really? Apparently, the pathetic Earl of Jalucia is the only man who can prevent Union from falling apart. Just like that, man. One earl goes down, and an entire faction may lose its footing. All of this happened within the span of like… ten minutes. All offscreen, too.

— Nice disguise. Surely no one would notice Theo’s distinctive green hair.

— Alexis continues to inspire as always.

— Oh god, they’re still discussing the possibility of getting Alexis and Marrine together. People will point to the fact that she slept with Milza, but that’s not even it. Who cares about that? She’s got blood on her hands, man. She gassed an entire enemy castle just to win a battle. She resorted to illegal means of warfare, and she’s allied herself with slaveowning nations just to get her way. Marrine does not deserve salvation. She deserves judgment for her war crimes.

— “Oh, if we marry, we can create the Emperor’s crest or whatever. Unfortunately, we can’t marry because people don’t want that to happen! So I’ll just create the Emperor’s crest by force anyway!” Like, I don’t understand the logic here. If there’s going to be bloodshed anyways, why not just stick with the goddamn marriage? Either way, she’s fighting. Why not fight with her beloved by her side?

— Basically, even though they keep crying about how Union is in bad shape, they’re not really in bad shape. Most of the nations have barely been engaged in the war, so they’ve still replete with resources. They just need someone to rally them. Unfortunately, we’re talking about Alexis here.

— But of course, Alexis will eventually come through. We’re nearing the end of the story, so he has to. Someone has to. He’s going to surprise us all and suddenly become a strong leader. This will surprise and perhaps even impress Marrine. I think this is all inevitable, sadly. I say “sadly” only because I don’t like either Alexis or Marrine.

— Theo plays on the fact that Marrine is unhappy, and as a result, only Alexis can save her. In fact, Marrine still loves him (probably true), but she’s stifling her soul… or something. And just like that, our pathetic lord suddenly stares at his sword and decides to become a warrior. Hilarious. He couldn’t come to this simple conclusion himself. He had to mope until the hero scolded him.

— Look how shocked these guys are. “Whaaat? Our lord isn’t going to hide himself in his room and cry like a loser anymore?!”

— Sure, sometimes we need people to talk some sense into us, but nothing here is super complicated or confusing. Up until now, he sincerely thought that Marrine was happy doing whatever the fuck it is that she’s doing right now. I thought he loved this woman, but it seemed like he didn’t understand her at all. He needed Theo to remind him that his “one true love” is sacrificing her unhappiness in some mad quest to unite the continent.

— Seriously, I thought this entire time, he understood what Marrine was doing, and he just felt powerless to stop her. It turns out he’s just an idiot.

— And all these fuckers are just like, “Wow, cool! Our leader doesn’t suck anymore! Let’s get pumped!”

— Oh, this douchebag is Lord Dawson. Y’see, we only ever see these guys like two or three times.

B-but I don’t know anything! No, really, I don’t. Much of the story remains unexplained. Even despite this episode’s abundance of exposition, very few questions have been answered. All that we can be certain of is that more cute girls will suffer. At some point, however, viewers will get tired and stop tuning in. This’ll probably happen sooner rather than later.

— So Nijimi was on a revenge quest, but one quick look at Kaname and she’s smitten. Really? He’s hot? I don’t even know, man…

— This is a show full of silly faces. Horror anime and stupid anime faces are a done deal. They’re inseparable. I blame Higurashi, honestly. It isn’t the first show to give us stupid anime faces, but I’d say it had the biggest influence.

— More silly faces.

— Nijimi is stumped. On the one hand, she really, really wants to punish Aya for lying to her. On the other hand, Kaname is so hot and she doesn’t want to break his heart by hurting Aya! Little does she know that her brother would love to punish Aya too. Let’s hope she never finds out.

— Back at the hospital, however, the new girl quickly carries out her plan to save the injured girls. Apparently, she has the magical ability to heal people by feeding her blood to them. Gross. That’s a quick way to get all sorts of diseases. Then again, if her blood has curative powers, then it’s probably clean.

— Of course, this girl is as messed up as all the other ones. In more ways than one, too.

— She also has to take a billion pills just to keep herself sane. Oh yeah, her name is Kosame.

— Oddly enough, her “stick” has bat wings.

— And her site administrator is completely different from the other girls.

— All of a sudden, Tsuyuno also awakens in her bed. She looks to the side to see that Aya is also fine. They all had a taste of Kosame’s blood.

— Tsuyuno marvels over the new girl’s stick, but honestly, it’s not that crazy. We have panties that can mind-control people. We have a phone app that can freeze time. And, uh, did we forget all about the killer yo-yo? But seriously, I’m more impressed with freezing time than magical healing blood.

— So it’s exposition dump time. There are lots of mahou shoujos, okay? Lots of them.

— Here’s a girl sexually harassing her poor butler for some damn reason.

— Here’s a girl who wandered off the set of Toji no Miko.

— Not only that, there’s more than one Mahou Shoujo Site. So wait, do they all have the same domain name? Or is it like https://mahousyoujo.moe as opposed to .com?

— And each site has a different administrator. Look at that Scream boy on the left.

— Initially, the idea was that you had gather up negative energy with your stick, and feed it to the “king.” What is this? Garo? Anyways, then the tempest finally rolls around, the mahou shoujo with the most negative energy saved up will be spared. As a result, these poor girls have been brutally murdering each other just for a chance to survive. But survive what? If the rest of humanity is wiped out, is there even a point in surviving? What would said girl even do in a post-apocalyptic wasteland?

— Needless to say, it’s not that simple. The sticks will kill the girls anyways, so it’s doubtful that anyone can survive. So what are the site administrators really up to? Well, that’s the problem. Nobody knows. Six episodes in and we still don’t really know what’s going on in this one-cour adaptation. We just know that a bunch of mysterious individuals want to torture cute anime girls, and if our heroines start getting too uppity, then they will be executed.

— We are quickly treated to a montage of three of the administrators killing “nosy” girls. Nana’s got the power of finger guns!

— So what’s the grand plan? Kosame claims that a whole bunch of like-minded mahou shoujos have decided to band together and capture a site administrator. Once they do so, they can just pump said evildoer for information! It’s that easy, huh?

— Unfortunately, our heroines kinda lost all of their sticks in the previous battle. As a result, we see Aya and Tsuyuno digging through the rubble while Rina wastes her second chance at life by being lazy.

— These poor girls are back in their bloodied clothes. Also, how did they just walk out of the hospital?

— Tsuyuno is grateful to Aya and even claims that she now has a new reason to live. That’s great and all, but you still tortured someone for thrills. Yeah, he was a serial killer and likely a rapist, but c’mon…

— Aya’s simple-minded, though. Plus, she won’t give up the first actual friend that she’s made.

— Not only that, she takes Tsuyuno back to her home so that her friend has a place to stay. I’m surprise the asshole father would even allow this. Plus, this doesn’t seem like a wise move to me. Aya’s been brutally bullied by her brother, so does she really want to risk introducing Tsuyuno to his wrath? At the very least, she should warn Tsuyuno about Kaname, but I don’t think she will… not right now, anyways.

— Meanwhile, the authorities continue to investigate the random deaths of cute anime girls. Gee, I wonder if that guy on the right is important or anything! Nah, couldn’t be.

— Oh lord… what is it now? Why am I looking at this hallway full of dead girls?

— Hmph.

Puberty finally runs wild, and Mitsuru and Kokoro are the first victims. Who’s next? For this week’s episode, I’ll just stick to my notes and observations. There’s a lot to cover and sift through. I couldn’t find one topic to focus on, so that’s why I’m going with the scatterbrain approach for now. Anyways…

— Girl, why do you need to sharpen your horns? Are you gonna headbutt anyone?

— Oh lord, this is so cheesy. I almost wish they still hated each other.

— The Nines pay the kids a visit, but only some of them. Where are the ones with the facemask? How come they don’t get to tag along?

— These kids still love Papa too much. Miku melts as soon as she hears that Papa is still worried about them, but actions speak louder than words. Where has Papa been if he cares so damn much? Then again, she’s just a kid so I guess you can’t hold it against her.

— Ugh, the Nines want to move in. I gotta say… I don’t particularly care for them. I don’t find them interesting as characters, and Nine Alpha is especially annoying with his fake-ass demeanor. It’s bizarre to me that no one sees through it. Maybe Zero-Two does, but no one else seems to say anything about it.

— All of the survivors have been gathered into one place? A camp? A… death camp?! Nah, I’m just kidding. I know DitF fans have been kinda on edge lately, i.e. “Is that a death flag? Is that a death flag?” I dunno, I’m starting to feel… a little weary, I suppose?

— With Miku’s prematurely graying hair in last week’s episode, I get the feeling that these kids are supposed to die young. Well, I think the show’s been hinting at this theory right from the start, but we just never had any evidence to support it until now.

— Hmm, the Nines make it seem like Nana and Hachi are the bad guys. But why? Aren’t those two on Papa’s side as well? Maybe not. Maybe Dr. Franxx has gone rogue, and Nana is just caught up in the mess. It sure seems like the Nines are here to gather information on the situation so that they can report back to Papa.

— Nine Alpha calls Squad 13 hopelessly imperfect. Does it matter? Who is perfect? Surely not his smiling ass.

— Also, he wants to know how long Zero-Two is going to keep pretending to be human. Again, does it matter? I guess a distinction has to be made. She will never be biologically human, so there’s that. But being human as a mindset is a separate thing entirely. And according to this anime, being human as a mindset seems to entail working together, forming a community, being sentimental, so on and so forth. There’s no reason why she can’t be human in that case.

— So Zero-Two predictably rejects the name that Papa had given her. She obviously has issues with Papa, which we’ve known for a while now. This is just the latest example to add to the bucket, and as such, this is precisely why I don’t understand her reticence to speak up about Papa to the other kids. At the very least, she should talk to Hiro. Yo, this is what I know about Papa and the adults, and this is why I don’t trust them. I understand that the other kids — especially Zorome and Miku — would flip out if you talk badly about Papa, but if you can’t confide in your darling, then is he really your darling? Communicate, communicate, communicate. But of course, it’s not that she can’t communicate. It’s more that she conveniently won’t, because this is a lazy form of storytelling. You create drama by continually keeping characters in the dark. They don’t share information with each other as much as they should.

— Oh dear, Hiro has horns now. Do the other kids know about this? Does… Ichigo know?

— Zero-Two thinks that his transformation might be due to him ingesting her blood from way back when. She seems dejected at the fact that she may have “drastically altered [Hiro’s] destiny,” but it’s probably not a bad thing. Maybe salvation for these kids lie in becoming half-klaxosaur as well. Assuming that their lives are horribly finite, maybe they need to embrace the dino-blood to continue living. Just speculation. Still, Zero-Two opened the episode with a short monologue about how everything eventually comes to an end. Some just sooner than later. Maybe she’s talking about the kids’ short lives, maybe she’s not. Shrug.

— So coooooooorny. Ugh, my cynical heart can’t take it. Nah, it’s sweet. I’m just… I dunno, it’s just a little too innocent for me.

— Well, at least they kissed.

— The guy is just happy to share something with her, but Zero-Two would still rather be more like Hiro. After all they’ve been through, I would’ve hoped that she’d get over her issues about being biracial just a little, but maybe not. Maybe she still wishes to be human.

— Zero-Two finally tells Hiro that Papa had convinced her to kill klaxosaurs if she wanted to become human. This… this is what I want. More of this, please. The girl isn’t outright telling Hiro that “PAPA IZ BAD, ADULTZ ARE BAD,” but it’s a start. She’s seen so much and experienced so much. As such, she needs to tell at least Hiro what she knows. You cannot act without information. All these kids have been doing for the past two episodes is sit on their asses and understandably so, because they have no clue what they’re up against. Zero-Two (and maybe Hiro too) is the only one with some semblance of an idea that Papa is up to no good, so she needs to cough up the deets.

— Look, don’t get me wrong. I still like the show, and I still look forward to it every Saturday. But at this current juncture, I also want the characters to start taking control of their fates. I’m getting a little burnt out, I guess, with the lack of action. Not action as in fighting action, but action as in taking positive steps towards their future. They’re still just waiting on something to happen to them as opposed to seizing their fates by the horns.

— Oh god, Hiro’s a shit artist. It’s fine. I’m a shit artist, too. I can’t draw at all. There’s something weird with my nerves. I can’t even draw a straight line if I wanted to.

— You should eat it.

— This guy clearly has a female voice actor. Is he really a guy though? Maybe I’ve been presumptuous. Maybe I’ve assumed his or her gender. I’m not being snarky; I legitimately don’t know. Maybe the Nines are actually biologically androgynous. Maybe they are perfect compared to Squad 13 precisely because they are an amalgamation of both sexes. As such, you can swap their roles around as necessary. After all, we’ve already seen Nine Alpha serve as a pistil. Other than him, no other male has been a pistil before.

— The guy (or girl) tells Kokoro not to tell anyone about their exploration, and she just agrees? These kids are way too trusting.

— Oh no, Nine Alpha is not pleased about Kokoro’s contraband.

— Why does this look like a shot straight out of a horror movie about dolls? Plus, does she really just sit there and play with her doll like that? God, I know I come from a world full of distractions, but I’d be so bored living in that dormitory. Ain’t got a single computer to play with.

— Bad touch, bad touch! You guys haven’t learned about the birds and the bees yet!

— I bet you she never caressed Futoshi like that either. So this is the character development that her voice actress was referring to in the SP episode.

— C’mon, are you telling me that this is the first time she’s been curious about a boy’s body? After all these years, this is the first time?!

— Plus, you might want to do this in a place that doesn’t have glass walls.

— I think it’s silly to place the burden of hope on our offspring. I get what Kokoro is saying; we can live forever through our kids. But I dunno, it feels like a selfish sentiment. I don’t want to create life just so that it can carry my legacy.

— Zorome has such a way with words. He accuses them of trying to imitate Hiro and Zero-Two, but those two haven’t done anything remotely sexual. Not really, anyways. They just innocently kiss. I don’t recall Zero-Two ever trying to strip the guy. They don’t even make out.

— I find it weird to get water from the same place that you would bathe in. I know you can sanitize the water, but still… maybe I’m squeamish about nothing.

— Mitsuru is trying to talk to Hiro about Kokoro, but the latter brings up his broken promise out of nowhere. Bro, I know you’re the hero of the story, but it doesn’t always have to be about you. Nah, I’m not being serious. I just find this funny.

— Damn, that was fast. I guess she’s always treated him warmly. Ikuno is cold to everyone but Ichigo, and the other kids are just friendly with Mitsuru at best. Kokoro is the only person to really reach out to the guy when he was obviously having issues earlier on in the story.

— Zorome is amusingly childish: “All I did was ask if a boy and a girl getting all clingy was the cool thing to do?” You can imagine him following up with, “Like, should do it too? Hey, Miku!”

— Still, it’s kinda shitty to have your private matters revealed to the entire team. Futoshi’s going to whine now, I’m sure.

— God, give it a rest, man.

— Oh man, look at Nine Alpha’s facade fade away.

— Run for the hills, Mitsuru.

— It would make sense for Papa to ban the act of baby-making. You don’t want the lower classes to procreate too much. You need their warm bodies to exploit, but at the same time, they might overthrow you if their population becomes too big. Of course, in our world, you can’t prevent people from procreating. It just happens, and then people start whining about how there’s “too much diversity.” For something as life-changing as the process of childbirth, it is also shockingly easy. You just stick this fleshy bit into this fleshy place over here, and voila. You don’t even have to be good at sex to have kids. In this world, however, slaves can be created. As a result, it’s best if said slaves never realize that they can seize control of their own futures by procreating and thus establishing their own society. They should remain as kids forever, because kids are always dependent on their parents.

— About the boy and girl thing, she’s not wrong with regards to procreation and specifically procreation. The anime isn’t saying that love can’t exist between a boy and a boy, or a girl and a girl. Clearly, it does. Ikuno cares for Ichigo, after all. Just because Ichigo doesn’t reciprocate those feelings doesn’t suddenly render them null and void. But if you want to procreate, it’s a different story. Sure, we can get into stuff like artificial insemination, but then we’d just be losing sight of the forest for the trees.

— Unfortunately, I do think that this sort of sentiment is selfish, especially when you consider how difficult these kids’ lives are. I wouldn’t want to condemn a child to this existence.

— Nine Alpha: “Humans have evolved and cast their reproductive functions aside in the process. Reject that, and we’ll all have to go back to conforming to one gender.” Huh Is he talking about women? Is he saying that women suck? Ikuno walks up and slaps him, but no really, is he really saying that women suck because childbirth compels us to conform to them? His “logic” just doesn’t even make sense to me.

— God, I hate this fucking trope. Nine Alpha looks down on Ikuno’s emotional outburst, because emotions are oh-so-unnecessary. Humanity has, like, totally transcended emotions, because logic ownz. They make it sound like it’s so logical to cast aside emotions, but uh, every single psychologist out there would tell you that emotions are necessary to our survival. This is just one such article. I’m just saying… for such an advanced society to come to this conclusion is ridiculous. Very few educated people look down on emotions. Only those who are not well-rounded would fall into this trap.

— So to be clear, all of this nonsense about ignoring the kids is all thanks to Dr. Franxx’s orders. He’s acting against Papa’s wishes. Or at the very least, whatever he’s doing has not been officially sanctioned. Dr. Franxx isn’t a good guy either, though. No hero would ever torture a young child. Papa and Dr. Franxx are after two different goals, but neither of them can be trusted.

— According to Nana, reproductive organs are necessary for piloting the FRANXX. Why do you gotta design them like that, though? The mechas are artificially created, right? So it had to have been designed this way, right?

— When Kokoro brings up their emotions, Nana suddenly has a fit. Huh. After Kokoro runs out, Nine Alpha peeks into the room from the side and taunts the woman for possibly “[relapsing] into puberty.” Haha, what? In any case, she might get replaced as a result of this “relapse.”

— Hachi barely even reacts to any of this. Dude has transcended emotions.

— Oh, these two used to be parasites. They merely underwent “emotional indoctrination” to become what they are now. So the kids can grow up and get old. Well shit, there goes that theory.

— Naturally, as a scientist, Dr. Franxx is gathering data: “The development of humanity’s original reproductive instincts…” I dunno, it seems a little mundane for a experiment, but I guess I have to keep in mind that in this universe, this sort of knowledge has been lost to the annals of time.

— Continuing on with the puberty theme, this looks like a pimple. But it’s probably just a volcano like how a cigar is just a cigar (or is it?).

— I love elevators and elevator rides. It’s such an anime staple. Let’s proceed to discuss super important topics while we’re on this elevator.

— We’re finally getting a sneak peek at klaxosaur society. In fact, they apparently have great technology. They just happen to live underground. Hmmm, could it be? Are klaxosaurs really humans that escaped to the subterranean world in order to stave off extinction? I know a few commenters have made that suggestion, but I’m not too thrilled by this potential development.

— So humans and klaxosaurs have been at war for nearly a century, but after the arguably successful battle at the Gran Crevasse, the Sages believe that they are destined to win. As a result, representatives are meeting with the princess of the klaxosaurs in hopes of negotiating a favorable peace treaty.

— Oh dear, they pissed the princess off. She can scream her words directly into your mind. I know, I know, that sounds just like regular talking, but bear with it.

— I’m amused that this little dude thinks he can assassinate the princess right where she sits. Do you not see the giant-ass dragon-thing behind her? Plus, do you really think the most important person in the entire klaxosaur society would just let you walk up and kill her? I thought sages were supposed to spec highly into wisdom.

— Of course, she also has sick tentacle powers of her own as well as a pair of lizard bois to help her out.

— Maybe you should’ve just sent an email.

— The Sages have no faces? They are just human wannabes? Who are the real humans then?

— Is this just another waifu that the internet is going to meme about?!

— Sex education is so lacking these days.

— Zero-Two says that she can’t give birth. Hm. Would make sense. It’s like how most mules are infertile. Am I calling Zero-Two a mule? Maybe. On a more serious note, Hiro seems a bit despondent afterwards.

— Ikuno, too, is a bit shaken by everything that has unfolded. Like Zero-Two, she wouldn’t be able to leave her mark on the future if she truly loves Ichigo and only Ichigo, but at the same time, the heart wants what it wants. Maybe we’ll soon get an episode which will wrap up her character arc.

— Well, they might not have been taught about sex, but Mitsuru and Kokoro sure figured it out real quick.

— One of the sages: “And now, they’ll feel the pain of having their earth scorched by their own creation.” The humans above surface were created by the klaxosaurs?!

— I like the pink hue to the planet, though.

Ah, it’s Yusuke time. Yusuke is a tricky boy to assess. His Persona looks cool, but his character design isn’t very interesting. I never used him in battle much either. As a physical fighter, I felt that Ryuji eclipsed Yusuke in all the important ways. Elemental advantages are neither worth considering since the main character is the wild card. When Yusuke’s with the rest of the group, he often peppers the conversation with his idiosyncratic nature. He adds a nice amount of levity, but in his oddball sort of way. Nevertheless, when I’m actually hanging out with him 1-on-1 in a social link, I find him boring. Overall, I just find him underwhelming as a party member. In my mind, he ranks just above Haru (who I absolutely despise).

I also always found it odd that this guy didn’t attend the same school as the rest of the party, but then I read later that they had initially planned on making Hifumi a playable character. Had that been the case, then you’d have two party members attending the other school. At the same time, however, I wouldn’t have been particularly thrilled to have Hifumi on the team. Nothing against her character, but I don’t find her remotely interesting outside of the bonuses conferred by leveling up her social link. You can tell that I’m not really into the soft-spoken maiden archetype. I also disliked Yukiko in P4. Anyways, time for notes and observations for the rest of the episode…

— Yusuke makes Ann blush here, but I always found it hilarious that he only admired her for her physical looks. The more he got to know her, the less he liked and respected her.

— They should’ve had the passersby turn and look at Yusuke’s wild proclamations.

— I don’t remember Kawakami nodding off in the game, so this is something new.

— Speaking of tests and exams, I do like the fact that you can actually finish at the top of your class in Persona 5. Trails of Cold Steel is clearly influenced by the school life format of the Persona games. You have to attend class, you have a limited amount of time to hang out and cultivate relationships with your classmates, and most of all, you gotta take exams. But unlike Persona 5, you can never finish at the top of your class in Trails of Cold Steel. Even if you study your butt off and answer all the questions correctly, I believe Rean, the main character, can only finish third at best (behind Emma and Machias). God, that pissed me off. Of course, the game has its pros and cons. There are some things that it does better than the Persona games. Just not the test-taking part.

— I think Ren is a little too quiet. He was a little more vocal in the first two episodes, but lately, he’s all but faded into the background. Like its predecessors, this adaptation is afraid to give the hero a stronger characterization. Who cares if he’s different from how you or I envisioned him? I mean, as long as he’s an interesting and compelling character, it’s all good.

— Not really.

— Isn’t it crazy that Makoto’s “braids” are really just her hairband?

— She can’t be that sharp; she didn’t even notice the fucking cat that hightailed it out of there as soon as she showed up.

— But nah, I like Makoto in general. If I pretend that she isn’t some sheltered girl who knows nothing about the real world, then she’d easily be the number one girl. Too bad it’s actually a big part of her personality. I groaned when I had to take her to the arcade for the first time. The arcade. C’mon.

— Madarame is definitely a bad guy, but after the whole Kamoshida thing, the old man felt like a letdown. I never really got a feel for his heinous nature. I never felt like he was truly a big fish that the Phantom Thieves had to fry in order to reform society. In terms of social impact, I guess I have a hard time believing that a painter figures into the equation. Not to be dismissive of the contemporary art scene, but it really has little to no influence on our daily lives. For instance, my peers don’t even know anything about Mark Rothko. It’s not that they’re uncultured. It’s just that this sort of art barely leaves a mark on our collective consciousness.

— Plus, it never made sense to me how he got away with stealing his pupils’ works. Everyone has their own style, so it would’ve been blatantly obvious that Madarame’s works seem to vary wildly in not just vision but technique as well. There should be no consistency to his oeuvre. The characters even point this fact out, and yet, you want to tell me that art connoisseurs in general have no clue that this old man is a fraud? C’mon. Sure, the story tries to hand wave this away later on with a certain painting that gets copied and sold to everyone, but that alone raises a whole bunch of new issues. For instance, don’t these rich people talk? Wouldn’t they brag to each other that they just bought Madarame’s most famous painting? How would that sort of news not spread like wild fire? And once it did spread like wild fire, how would these people not raise a stink about the fact that they all seem to have the same shitty painting?

— Wow, is it just me or is Yusuke’s pants way too shiny?

— I can never unhear Kyon when Tomokazu Sugita is tapped to play a character. Now there’s a show that could use a se… maybe not. I only want a sequel if they actually give closure to the story.

— Ooh, Hifumi has her own game in this adaptation. It’s also cool to see Morgana and Ryuji hang out with each other more. It might explain why the cat trolls him so much. I never felt like they spent enough time with each other in the game for the cat to be so mean to him. Granted, he is an idiot.

— That statue is Shibuya’s Hachiko, right?

— Madarame treats his pupils like slaves. He teaches them nothing and bosses them around. He disciplines them as if they were dogs. Yeah, like I said, he’s a bad guy, but… is he really a societal bad guy? Is he really someone that these children have to rebel against?

— I think mostly the thought process here is that Madarame’s a big target, and the Phantom Thieves feel compelled to reel in a big fish to establish their legitimacy. Even so, however, I think I would’ve gone for a different villain.

— To be fair, Madarame’s art theme lent it self to some cool moments in his dungeon, especially the part where you dive into his paintings.

— C’mon, Ann… you just dealt with a PE teacher that was widely beloved by the entire student body up until his scandals came to surface.

— It literally is a shack, isn’t it?

— I hope the adaptation kept my favorite gag from the game. If you’ve played it, you know which one I’m referring to. Erika Harlacher’s performance during that scene was really on point.

— Speaking of which, I hope they’re gonna get the same voice actors back for the inevitable dubbing of the adaptation. Except Haru, ’cause ughhh…

— Ryuji’s so dumb. Lemme just ask this guy right here and right now if he’s being abused. Surely, he’ll just admit to everything. Our blond boy has no sense of subtlety.

— I’m pretty sure Madarame didn’t invite the kids into his home. I’m also pretty sure Yusuke showed them this famous painting on his phone instead of from a book. Still, I don’t mind this change. This seems more natural than just standing at someone’s doorstep, gawking at their phone.

— Is it really?

— This is such a silly reason to think that someone is a good person. Then again, Ann is supposed to be a bit of an airhead, which is a development in her characterization that I never liked. I thought it was such a low-hanging fruit. Oh, she’s an aspiring model and also a blonde. Let’s make her dumb!

— Plus, they could always just check their Meta-Nav app to see if someone has a palace or not. I’ll grant that this probably didn’t occur to them until now, though.

— Ryuji: “He is an artist, so it ain’t weird for him to have a Palace.” What are you implying, man?

— I can’t remember at what point the difficulty takes a jump up. I think maybe the Egyptian-themed Palace? Certainly not this one. I thought the museum was a breeze.

— Oh, this is new as well. Like with Kamoshida, the adaptation gets right to it. Our characters literally get to hear Shadow Madarame confess all of his crimes right here and right now.

— Man, Ryuji freaks out, but Ren has no reaction to Yusuke’s desire to paint Ann in the nude. C’mon, man, that’s one of your potential waifus! Why cast Lelouch into this role if you’re not going to give him a personality?

— Speaking of Lelouch, can you believe they’re going to bring him back for a third season? That’s just not right, man. Anyways, I digress…

— I don’t think you understand the definition of plagiarism, bro. Ideas don’t need to be stolen for it to be plagiarism.

— Yusuke is supposed to threaten our heroes with reporting them to the police unless Ann agrees to pose nude. Poor girl keeps being sexually victimized. For some reason, however, this threat seems to be have left out of the adaptation.

— I like this change: Ren makes sure that Nakanohara doesn’t see his face. The other two members are actually scattered around the area to listen in on the conversation discreetly. In the game, all three of them meet the guy head-on. Not exactly very sneaky for Phantom Thieves!

— Well, that does it for this week’s episode. Yusuke should finally join the team in next week’s episode. This episode is fine. Still, one thing bothers me: Ren has barely spent any 1-on-1 time with his confidantes. I think he’s maybe taken a trip to see the doctor and that’s about it?

— In the post credits scene, we see that Yusuke already feels some sort of connection to Sayuri.

Did anyone order a yanderekko? ‘Cause if you did, why? 

— I thought Shoji may have permanently lost a limb, but apparently not. It kinda makes you feel like nothing permanently bad would ever happen to any of these kids. Maybe one day, the stakes will be raised, but not now. Not anytime soon. Which brings me to the following thought: I still feel as though Bakugo will get kidnapped, but surely, they can’t just straight up copy Naruto. It’d be too obvious. I bet they’d just rescue him in a different arc.

— Shoji being able to regenerate his missing limb also blunts Tokoyami’s rage. He’s losing control over nothing. Ah well.

— Deku has to make a difficult decision: continue onward to save Bakugo, or stay behind and assist Shoji with Tokoyami. In my mind, I was like, “Oooh, what is he gonna do?” Needless to say, he chose to do… both. Haha, of course. I give up.

— Braces aren’t this scary, kids. Don’t be afraid to go to the orthodontist.

— Our hero is smart — really smart — so he hatches a plan in which he lures the Dark Shadow to Bakugo. As a result, Moonfish is quickly and unceremoniously overwhelmed. That’s that, I suppose.

— It was also cool to see Bakugo tell Todoroki to hold back on creating a light source that would help Tokoyami regain control of his Quirk. He wants Dark Shadow to finish the job, i.e. render Moonfish useless. Hey, I know Bakugo isn’t all bad. He has his moments. They’re just not enough to overcome his bad sides in my opinion.

— Case in point, the kid stares with a dumbfounded look on his face as everyone else works together to protect him. Then he gets all pissy about it even though he willingly goes with the plan. On the one hand, he doesn’t put up a fight, and I’ve always said that actions speak louder than words. On the other hand, c’moooooon. Grow up, dude.

— Maybe we should wait until we’re safe and sound before we bother with apologizing.

— Deku insists on them cutting through the dark forest in order to return to safety. We should keep this fact in mind.

— For the time being, however, we cut to Uraraka and Asui. They find themselves up against, well, the bad guys’ token cute girl.

— Uraraka’s hairstyle looks cute from the front, but from her profile, it’s kinda… odd.

— All of a sudden, Asui grabs her partner and tries to sling her to safety. She claims that Aizawa only gave them permission to protect themselves, not defeat villains. I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. I don’t remember exactly what Aizawa had instructed in last week’s episode, and I’m too lazy to go back and check. Nevertheless, these teenagers are capable of making their own decisions. They’re not adults, sure, but at some point, you gotta fight for what you believe in. This is the exact reason why we praise Deku so much. He puts himself in danger despite everyone getting on his case about it. A hero doesn’t just follow orders. A hero does the right thing. What is the right thing here? There’s nothing wrong with defending yourself. There’s also nothing wrong with using your powers to stop a villain who might otherwise go on to hurt others. Imagine if they could defeat Himiko here and have the girl taken into custody. Wouldn’t that be a good thing? I just… these kids are such goody-two-shoes to the point that it’s kinda annoying.

— I almost thought Himiko was gonna make out with Asui here and suck the blood out of the frog girl’s mouth.

— Uraraka returns, however, and pins Himiko to the ground. So there’s at least that. Nevertheless, Himiko has the odd ability to sniff out the fact that Uraraka has a crush on someone. I mean, I don’t even know you can smell that, but then again, we’re in a universe full of crazy superpowers, so whatever.

— Himiko comments on her and Uraraka being somewhat similar to each other. Now that I think about it, she also has those two long locks like Uraraka.

— Ah, of course, Himiko is in love with Stain. God, he looks like such a dork.

— It’s also weird how taunting Uraraka about Deku is enough to distract the girl. Himiko is thus able to stab the girl and drain her blood… for whatever purpose this serves.

— Yeaaaaah…

— But when the boys show up, Himiko quickly decides to make her escape. She’s prudent enough not to pick a fight with too many people. At the same time, however, she catches a quick glimpse at the battered Deku and, uh, falls in love with him? Like I said, I guess we needed a yandere character. In a hypothetical relationship, she’d probably beat you up just to love you more.

— Say, do most people want Deku to end up with Uraraka? I think some people like Mei… It’s a shounen so it’s not like it matters. If he has a love interest, it won’t be requited until episode 800 billion.

— Really? Bakugo just disappeared without anyone noticing?

— It turns out this top-hat mofo somehow managed to steal Bakugo and Tokoyami. He turned them into marbles. Marbles, man. What a power. What a random power, too. “What do you do?” “Oh, I turn people into stuff.” “What sorta stuff?” “Marbles.” “You’re hired!”

— When Deku demands that the villain give Bakugo back, the latter goes, “He’s his own person, you egoist.” YOU TURNED HIM INTO A MARBLE TO TAKE HIM AWAY AGAINST HIS OWN WILL.

— So the thought process here is that Bakugo is too talented to be indoctrinated by the heroes. Same with Tokoyami, I suppose. But why stop there? I mean, just fucking look at Todoroki and his massive wall of ice. That’s pretty goddamn amazing, right? Why not steal him? Why not steal the invisible girl? She’d be an amazing spy. Why not steal Uraraka? She literally controls gravity! Gravity, dude! Maybe I’m just a huge space nerd, but G R A V I T Y. I’m not denying that Bakugo is the best fighter out of all the people here. He’s proven that in previous episodes. But use your imagination and think of what you could do with all these unique powers! Ah well. They’re the League of Villains, not the League of Ingenious Fuckers.

— Yo, Aoyama, quit being useless. Did you ever think that maybe he was originally designed to fire laser from his crotch, but they probably corrected this to his navel so that his Quirk would be a little less extreme? Just sayin’.

— Elsewhere, Momo and Awase nearly die to a Nomu, but luckily, it gets called back since the villains have succeeded in capturing Bakugo. Of course, no important character has really come close to biting the dust yet. Using her quick thinking, Momo creates a tracking device and tells the guy to attach it to the behemoth. Momo continues to be the unsung hero. Plus, this pretty much seals the deal: Deku will be unsuccessful in rescuing Bakugo. The tracking device, however, will allow them to go on a rescue mission afterwards.

— Damn, look at Uraraka just tear her shirt off without hesitation.

— So with Uraraka and Asui’s help, the boys are launched right at the top-hat dude running away with both Bakugo and Tokoyami. It’s kinda disappointing. At the end of the day, the girls are still playing a supportive role while the boys get to do all the heavy lifting. Sure, in terms of criticism of My Hero Academia, this is a low-hanging fruit, but it’s going to stay this way as long as the show continues to sideline half of its heroes for no good reason. You can’t convince me that its fans wouldn’t also be thrilled to root for a girl on the big stage. They would love to. I mean, isn’t Asui kinda the fan favorite?

— Also, it was apparently part of the villains’ plans to steal three samples of the heroes’ blood. Huh.

— The villains are about to escape, but Deku, Todoroki, and Shoji crash the party. So I guess that’s where we’ll continue in next week’s episode. They’ll come so close to saving their buddies, but will likely fail.

— Plus, remember how Deku had wanted to cut through the forest in order to return to camp quicker? What if they had taken the long way around? Would they have therefore avoided this predicament? Hm.

This episode kinda jumps back and forth between Tsukasa and Anzai’s relationship and the authorities trying to deal with the fallout from the Ikebukuro incident. Eventually, the two stories converge, but until then, it almost feels like the episode lacks focus. At the very least, I wasn’t very impressed with how the narrative flow. It’s all jumbled and disorganized.

— After Tsukasa offers Anzai her blood, he storms back into the kitchen and punches Lee. He thinks that Vampire Jesus may have fed the girl bad information. That’s pretty rude, don’t you think? Lee has saved Anzai, protected Tsukasa, and cooperated with F Squad. He’s also shown that he’s a vampire who can keep himself under control around blood. He has done everything he can to be trustworthy, and yet, he still has Anzai all up in his grill.

— Meanwhile, Tsukasa doesn’t say a word in protest. She just looks sad off to the side. One thing I really dislike about her is how she coddles Anzai. She never gets mad at him about anything. He randomly stalks her, and she doesn’t mind. He randomly shows up at her apartment window, and she ends up falling in love with him! And now, he’s being a dick to her friend, and it’s still copacetic for the most part. She treats Anzai like he’s just this misunderstood child who needs an infinitely long leash. No, he’s a grown adult. Yes, when he fully goes ugly vampire, he can’t control himself. But that has only happened once. Right now, he’s still in full control of his faculties, and he’s decided to use them to be a dick. Say something! If you want to be his partner, you have to be willing to tell him off when he’s being a jackass!

— The rest of the group knows nothing. They didn’t even realize that human blood can heal vampire wounds instantly. Nobody does! You’d think this sort of thing would be widespread knowledge to vampires.

— Elsewhere, sniper girl is just as surprised as I am that she’s still alive. She took a knife to the stomach, didn’t she? Anyways, her name is apparently Tenjo, but she also used to be Zero Seven in the mysterious devil-hating organization. I assume she’s no longer officially on their team anymore.

— Kikuhara shows up just to taunt her. Apparently, she attempted to fight back after he licked her. He really liked that too. Kikuhara’s a fucked up boy, isn’t he? Nevertheless, Tenjo wasn’t supposed to find out about Plan B. A certain Zero Nine had told her, so now he’s going to have Zero Eleven punish him. Hmmm. These bad guys can’t even keep their own shit in line.

— The authorities are kinda bungling the whole incident. Most of them don’t seem to care all that much about devils despite the fact that they’re a team dedicated to dealing with devil-related incidents. In the meantime, all devils in the force are not allowed to act. Sawazaki isn’t happy about this, but eh, what can he do?

— All of a sudden, we cut back to Anzai softly carrying a sleeping Tsukasa to her room. I do like the fact that she now permanently has a scar.

— As for Lee, he’s run out of blood vials. Who knows if he can control himself without the blood vials to sustain him? That’s the problem with the whole devil conundrum. The story clearly wants you to be sympathetic towards devils. Oh, they’re so misunderstood. Oh, they’re not being treated fairly! But dude, the instant they lose control, someone dies. It’s not like they’re hoodlums and all they do is trash the place. They don’t even, like, drink a little of your blood then stop. Nope, when they lose control, they literally kill people. It’s practically all or nothing. Had her attacker not been stopped, the weather girl would have died in the Ikebukuro incident. Nevertheless, she’s still in critical condition. And it’s easy as fuck for devils to lose control, too! The mere sight of blood makes them go mad! Sure, Lee can control himself, but only at the cost of human blood. You might not think that this is a big deal, but I dunno, man.

You might take exception to this analogy, but to me, it’s like creating child porn just so pedophiles can control their urges and not rape children. No, how ’bout we just cure their pedophilia completely? I see devils in much the same way. Unfortunately, the counterargument is going to be that you can’t cure them. They’re innately vampires. But don’t you think some pedophiles would make the same argument? That they’re just born this way? Whatever. The point is, you can’t have folks running around whose natural state of mind is to kill. Plus, donating blood doesn’t seem like a sustainable solution. As the devil population grows, what are we going to do? Compel more and more people to give up their blood just so that they won’t get killed by individuals with superhuman strength and speed? Look, we’re running low on blood, so you better give us some… or we’ll kill you. Gosh, that sounds swell!

— Okay, rant over. Sawazaki learns that the healing effect of drinking human blood has been suppressed by the government for whatever reason. Or, at the very least, no one seems to know anything about it, but that’s unlikely.

— We instantly jump to a phone conversation between Tsukasa and her best friend Miwako. This is what I mean at the top of the post. The focus just continually shifts back and forth between characters without any rhyme or reason. It’s fine to weave together two different plot strands, but you need to do it with a little finesse. We’re trying to create a coherent story here, not a mishmash of random visual records of these characters’ lives.

— Basically, Miwako realizes that Tsukasa’s so-called boyfriend is actually a devil, so she’s worried. Tsukasa tearfully insists, however, that Anzai is the world to her. Okay. That’s a bit drastic considering how they barely know each other, but I guess he did save her from multiple rapists.

— We shift focus again. Remember Oryo, the friendly vampire that Tsukasa had bumped into? He unluckily saw Kikuhara shove that kid off the building, so now the bad guys are after him. I think the hooded fellow is Zero Four. Sawazaki arrives just in time to prevent Oryo from being killed (how the hell did Zero Four miss at such a short distance?), but this soon turns into a chase. The guy behind Sawazaki is Makimura.

— Desperate to keep Oryo alive, Anzai allows Anzai to join the pursuit even though his bosses had told him that all devils were relieved of their duty. Lee is nice enough to lend a hand. He even reveals his origin. Sounds like he was specifically created in a lab. So was Anzai also a lab rat? Our hero is shocked, because he’s only ever known ONLO to be an orphanage. Guess not.

— Look at these two just hopping from building to building. How does this not get noticed? At night, sure, I can buy the idea that it’s hard to see them in action, but it’s broad daylight!

— Just to ramp the conspiracy theories up even further, ONLO gave the doctor a certain program. It can specifically monitor Anzai’s movements and health. Yeesh. Yeah, no orphanage can pull that off.

— Lee is the first to show up, and he immediately punches Zero Four in the nose. Unfortunately, this draws blood so maybe he should’ve socked the guy in the stomach instead. He tries to distract Anzai from going nuts by dehumanizing Zero Four and calling him Ketchup. Okay then. What’s more interesting, however, is Lee’s proposed solution to Anzai’s bloodlust: masturbation. After all, he only truly loses his shit around Tsukasa, right? This shouldn’t come as a shock to either our hero or the audience, though. After all, we’ve already seen him masturbate to Tsukasa’s blood. Remember when she cut herself in an attempt to fight off the rapey professor, and some of that blood got on one of Anzai’s hands. Yeah.

— It’s also amazing that one grown man has to tell another grown man to masturbate. Masturbation is totally healthy, and every doctor and counselor would tell you that. But there’s still a stigma surrounding the whole practice. Like if you masturbate, you might be a loser. Or if you masturbate, you’re just too horny for your good. Of course, having said that, I’m still not taking anything back regarding vampires. I still think they’re far too dangerous for their own good.

— Sawazaki wants to hide Oryo at the bar, because his gut tells him that there’s a mole in the Investigation Department. But what if there are multiple moles?

— Some old dude is watching everything unfold, and he refers to Lee and Anzai as the Child of Light and Dark respectively. Huh.

— Other devils have different methods to control their bloodlust. Oryo is basically a cutter.

— He’s supposed to be hidden away, but somehow, he lost so much blood that they need to get him to the hospital. Welp. So much for Sawazaki’s plan. I wouldn’t be surprised of Oryo ends up dead in next week’s episode.

— Meanwhile, Anzai gives Tsukasa the cold shoulder, and that’s pretty shitty. This is the guy who apparently means the world to her. Hm.

— We cut to Makimura, and he’s apparently murdered the people that Oryo works with. Well, we have at least one mole identified. He also gets mad at Zero Eleven for giving him bad info, but unbeknownst to him, Zero Nine has somehow overpowered his attacker and would-be torturer.

— Tsukasa insists on taking Oryo to the hospital for some reason. Like, I don’t even know why she thinks she can help. She’s just a college student studying… literature, I think? What did she hope to do? Offer moral support? ‘Cause she can’t protect anyone. She’s not a doctor either, so she can’t help keep the guy alive. Either way, when she and the rest of the gang arrive at the hospital, Tenjo is in the middle of escaping. The latter immediately grabs our heroine and takes her hostage. Good job, girl! You just had to come, didn’t you? But of course she did. The story needed a convenient way to endanger her, so she made some silly decision to accompany Oryo.

— Knowing Tsukasa and her penchant for Stockholm syndrome, she’ll probably just pity her kidnapper.

Mu’s an idiot, man. 

— She wants Thorn to promise her that the Musicians won’t be mean to the Rogues. Isn’t this her world? Can’t she see what’s going on in her own world? Like, for instance, how her songs violently turn people into Digiheads? And then the Digiheads threateningly pursue their targets to all corners of Mobius? For a creator, Mu is goddamn clueless.

— Mifue locates her first mom, but she finally realizes that the woman is just an NPC. Welp, I guess she had to see it with her own eyes.

— Unfortunately for Mu, fights have broken out all across Mobius. Kotono and Mirei are still going at it. Shogo is being chased by a kid with glasses. Meanwhile, Mifue and Naruko have to contend with the ramen freak again. Last but not least, Suzuna and the new guy is being confronted by a wannabe pretty boy with guns. How mean.

— Mirei tells Kotono that the girl should just be content to swim in her aquarium. The latter replies, “Real fish want to swim in the real ocean.” Mirei immediately counters, “Can you still say that when the ocean is filthy and filled with sludge?” So it’s kind of an interesting debate, but it’s done in the most simplistic way possible. Yeah, most animals do not want to be locked up. So that’s one point in the Rogues’ favor. People don’t want to live in a false paradise. At the same time, however, certain species might not survive in the wilderness. This is why certain programs will take in these endangered species and try to ensure their survival. So that’s one point in favor of “captivity.” Therein lies the problem, though: why does Mobius have to be so fake? Why can’t its subjects simply be told that they’re living in the virtual world for now because the real world is so terrible? Why not tell them the truth? What is the point of all this deception? What purpose does it serve?

“Well, you see, if they knew that the real world lies somewhere out there, then they might want to leave!”

Okay. What’s wrong with that? Why are the Musicians so hellbent on keeping everyone here? Why is Mu so hellbent on keeping everyone here? Can Mobius only sustain itself if every single person currently in it… stays in it? Like, I don’t get why this is even a problem. Why can’t people just choose to stay or leave?

— Look at ramen freak rain arrows down on Mifue and Naruko. Guys, c’mon, stop being mean.

— All Ritsu can do is stare at everything in front of him with a slack-jawed impression.

— Oh hey, Mu can tell that everyone’s in pain. But then Thorn tells her that this is all for the best, so the girl just goes back to her stupid singing. Look, she’s an idiot! Unfortunately, she sits at the center of this entire story, and it’s apparently Ritsu’s job to eventually save her at some point. That’s so lame.

— Back to Mirei and Kotono, the former exclaims, “If I stay here, I can live an elegant life the way I used to.” So in the real world, she must have been someone who recently lost her wealth. But fine, stay here then! Again, why does it matter to her if Kotono wants to leave? If there’s a legitimate reason for the Musicians being such dicks to the Rogues, then why haven’t we been told said reason after six episodes?

— Naruko’s real world counterpart seemingly wants attention. On the other hand, Kotaro feels powerless due to a failure of his in the real world. What was he? A first responder who couldn’t save people in time? But that’s not important. What’s important is that the Rogues are determined to leave Mobius, so this causes Aria to shine. As a result, she becomes a star that they can all follow. Everyone starts to scream as they embrace the darkness with them. Yeah, it’s really that corny. And before you know it, they’ve all undergone their own Catharsis Effect. They’re all ready to fight.

— So uh, what is Naruko’s weapon? A torn backpack with… what? A computer in it?

— Meanwhile, Mu continues to be confused, because she doesn’t understand why no one wants to stay in her fake ass world. Again, why don’t you ask them?

— So a huge fight breaks out between the Rogues and the Musicians. Shogo calls himself a murderer, and we’ve seen that he’s traumatized by visions of a girl committing suicide. Maybe he drove her to it, who knows?

— The only person not fighting for the Rogues is Ritsu, because he hasn’t awaken to his powers. His counterpart appears to be Thorn, because she isn’t helping the Musicians out either. She’s just chillin’, I guess. Chillin’ and watchin’.

— Ritsu doesn’t understand his buddies’ feelings. I dunno, maybe ask them. I know it sounds crazy! I know it sounds like madness! But there’s this cool thing you can do where you communicate with others, and in doing so, you understand them! Granted, he hasn’t had a chance to get to know everyone, but with that being the case, y’know, maybe he should chill out and just let things play out for now.

— All of a sudden, a giant portal opens up, and Mu emerges while singing one of her shitty songs.

— She starts to rage out some more. She demands to know why everyone hates her world and won’t listen to her, but as soon as Aria tries to talk to her former partner, Mu tells the chibi idol to shut up. I… I’m just speechless, dude. This girl is an idiot. I wouldn’t want to save her.

— Mu then starts to really go nuts, and Mobius begins to fall apart. The Musicians quickly hightail it outta there, because they’re in danger as well. The sclera in Mu’s eyes turns black, and subsequently, a black mass emerges from her chest. Aria explains that Mu had been holding onto people’s negativity this entire time. But now that she’s frustrated and distraught over the Rogues insisting on leaving, she’s unable to hold the darkness within herself any longer! Y’see, it’s our fault. Our dark energies and negative emotions are poisoning Mu. Mm-hmm!

— Look, nobody asked Mu to do this. Nobody asked Mu to be a martyr. She created this stupid world because she felt bad, then she shoved all these people in her stupid world because she felt bad. Whatever happened to personal choice? Whatever happened to personal accountability? If she’s suffering because she tried to absorb people’s painful feelings, that’s on her. If people have issues to deal with, it’s their responsibility to sort it out. In fact, it’s their right to sort it out. We become stronger by overcoming the obstacles in our lives. All Mu has done is robbed them of personal growth, and now we gotta pity her while she conveniently ignores every possible chance to communicate with the very people she’s imprisoned? Fuck that.

— Oh no, we can’t have that!

— Ritsu hasn’t undergone a Catharsis Effect, because whatever ails him isn’t quite as well defined as the other kids. He doesn’t have such a vibrant past to draw upon. So he gives Mu a good stare… he gives her a really good stare. And just like that, he’s reached a pivotal moment. He’s not determined to merely escape. He’s determined to save Mu. Pardon me while I barf.

— The guy then undergoes his transformation, and more importantly, he does so without Aria’s help at all! ‘Cause he’s special protagonist boi, and as a result, he must be distinct from all the other chumps.

— He whips out a pair of guns, and with them, he somehow cleaves the giant ball of negative feelings in half.

— As a result, Mu nearly passes out, but Thorn is just waiting to catch the idol and whisk her off to god knows where. It’s almost as if Thorn masterminded this whole event… or at least saw it coming.

— Mu summons the last ounces of her energy and calls Ritsu a mean ol’ baka. Such a meanie! How dare he shoot her black ball of evil?!

— After the dust has settled, Shogo suggests to the rest of the group that they should all join the club in order to conceal their activities of rebellion. Recently, we’ve gotten a rash of JRPGs where kids do cool stuff under the guise of a club. Tokyo Xanadu is another prominent example. This trend will die at some point, but it’s so hot right now. I blame Persona 3.

— Ritsu comes up with the official name for the team: the Go-Home Club. That’s pretty straight to the point. Shogo then nominates him to be the club president, because after all, he’s the special protagonist boi. He can’t ignore them, because they all just smile silently at him. Hey, in Tokyo Xanadu, the main character also becomes the club president even though he’s hardly the most powerful member on the team (shockingly enough).