Womp womp. 

— For some reason, the childhood friend shows the most skin of any of the girls to date. Still won’t help her win Romio’s heart, though.

— The Black Doggies try to beat the White Cats both on the battlefield and in the classroom. I think the feud is stupid, especially since we still don’t know why they hate each other, but it’s never a bad idea to take pride in your studies. Someone should tell them, however, that studying without sleep is a bad idea.

— Since Romio can’t leave during this 72-hour cramming session, he convinces Juliet to cross-dress as Julio once more just so they can spend time together. Look how short she is, though. All of the girls are basically midgets in this show. Yep, Hasuki included.

— And oh yeah, Maru is still in love with Julio. I guess this is supposed to be the show’s recurring joke. Haha, Maru is secretly gay… Wait, why is this funny again?

— Anyways, Hazuki is the resident nerd, so she runs these 72-hour cramming sessions. The “funny” twist is that she does so with an iron fist. At the same time, however, this involves her sporting one hell of a cleavage. Wouldn’t that distract the students from their studies? Nah.

— Dude, factorization? C’mon, isn’t that like Algebra 1? That’s not something I would expect students from a prestigious academy to have to study.

— Later that night, when Juliet is ready to leave, she escapes through the sewers. That’s, uh… that’s real dedication to love, alright. Again, don’t you guys have phones? C’mon, I know you do! Maru literally just broke his just minutes ago. Since you guys have phones, why not just facetime each other or whatever you kids use nowadays? Skype, Snapchat, etc.

— Hasuki’s fang bugs me, because I think this is only cute when you see it in an open mouth. If you still see the fang when she closes her mouth, then she needs some dental work.

— Char is still stalking Juliet like she always does, so she guilts Romio for basically having two girls in love with him. The guy realizes that he needs to stop hiding his relationship from Hasuki. Hey, no complaints from me. I always like it when anime characters can actually be straightforward with each other. Unfortunately, this is a romantic comedy, so being straightforward never pays. Being coy never pays either! Basically, whatever you do, it doesn’t pay!

— So at this point, we delve into Hasuki’s backstory, which is unfortunately pretty basic. She was a shy, nerdy girl, but by helping Romio out with his studies, she became more popular and was able to make friends. And I guess that’s why she fell in love with him.

— Having heard her true feelings, Romio comes right out and admits that he and Juliet are dating. I’ve been on the guy’s case all series long, but I gotta commend him for not delaying this any further. It would’ve been cruel to leave Hasuki in limbo. If he can’t return her feelings, then she needs to know that.

— But of course, this is a romantic comedy, so hijinks immediately ensue. At first, Hasuki suggests that Romio should commit seppuku, because he’s cavorting with the enemy leader. When he refuses, she volunteers to chase him around with a sword. Sounds reasonable enough.

— As Hasuki chases Romio around the impossibly gigantic campus, this eventually catches Juliet’s attention. As a result, she gets roped into this big mess. And since Juliet’s business quickly becomes Char’s business, that crazy girl also gets involved. If Hasuki wants to kill Juliet, then Char wants to kill Romio just as much.

— It’s funny, though. I thought Scott would be the one in Char’s position, but I guess psycho lesbians are better than weirdo creeps.

— After escaping with Juliet, Romio starts blaming himself for Hasuki going nuts. Well, I don’t think it’s his fault per se, but you know how these anime protagonists are. They’re like a dirty bathroom rug. They just absorb all the punishment they can get, because there’s a certain mentality in these shows that being a self-sacrificing martyr is the most commendable thing ever.

— Juliet, however, sees that Romio was just trying to do the right thing by Hasuki. This also helps her realize that she hasn’t been a very good friend to Char by hiding her relationship with Romio. So together, the two lovebirds try to confront the other two. This might sound like a potentially touching moment is coming up, but in reality, all the guy does is insist to Hasuki that he still wants be friends with her.

— He also eats a blow from her sword with that big, stubborn head of his, but apparently, it’s just a replica. So, uh, why was the same sword able to cut up these two blokes’ clothes?

— Juliet clumsily falls off a cliff just to add even more drama to the scene, so Romio instinctively dives after her. Char and Hasuki also follow suit. After everybody’s all safe and sound, Hasuki demands to know why Romio would do something so stupid. After all, he can’t swim. Even if he gets to Juliet in time, they both would die quickly afterwards. Well, he replies that he didn’t even stop to think. He just felt like he had to dive in after Juliet. And with that, Hasuki realizes that Romio is serious about his love. As a result, all she can do is cry. But wait, what was she going to do if he wasn’t serious about Juliet? Shrug.

— The next morning, Hasuki is back to normal. Hell, even that broken stained glass window is all taped up. Oh well. At least this show didn’t keep stringing the childhood friend along.

— And just like that, we’re more or less back to the status quo. The secret relationship remains mostly a secret. And sure, while Hasuki will accept Romio’s relationship with Juliet, I doubt she’ll stop loving him.

And she’s such a rascal. 

— This is one of those things that sound weird out of context, but it’s totally true. Certain smells just remind you of home… if you’re lucky enough to have that sort of thing.

— Too bad obaachan is also black-and-white like nearly everything else in Hitomi’s world. To date, only Yuito’s art is special.

— So… no discussions about why Kohaku’s future self sent Hitomi back in time? No discussions about what we’re going to do with the poor girl in the meantime? No discussions about possibly returning our heroine back to her original timeline? We’re just going to go straight to school? Welp.

— How did Kohaku even lug all of these to school? Magic… must’ve been magic.

— Kohaku also shows off her new bag of magic tricks, which includes the ability to make her classmates feel as though they’ve been transported to England. That’s pretty wild. Again, you’d think that magicians would be like rock stars in this universe.

— But all of a sudden, a runaway train appears outta nowhere and makes a huge mess. Kohaku takes the blame, but I’m not so sure that she’s at fault here. The train is so blurry and smudgy that it seemed amateurish, if that makes sense.

— On the school rooftop, Asagi tells Hitomi that she likes cute magic, and she kinda wishes she had the talent to cast a few spells of her own. Hitomi is taken aback, because she doesn’t quite know how to respond. After all, she still dislikes magic at the moment.

— After class, Kohaku wants to walk home together with her granddaughter — what an odd thing to type out — but the latter has club activities. Well, I’m sure obaachan’s just going to join the same club anyways.

— I’m amused at how PA Works likes to show off by rendering everyday objects in 3-D. Ooh, that ceiling fan is so well animated! In all honesty, I still prefer the charm of 2-D animation, so eh.

— Basically, the kids are meeting up so that they can plan for the upcoming school festival. Sho’s not very exciting, so he suggests photographing the night skyline.

— Meanwhile, Hitomi is amazed at her obaachan’s ability to easily make friends. Kohaku’s a natural people person, so I guess our heroine could learn a thing or two from her. This is not such a bad deal for Hitomi either, since it looks like she wants to make friends. She just can’t because she’s so painfully negative about herself. She’s always putting herself down. I bet if you ask her to name one good thing about herself, she wouldn’t be able to give you an answer.

— When Sho lets Hitomi borrow a camera, Asagi mentions how he used to always break it and thus anger his father. So those two are more than likely childhood friends. I wonder if she’s going to feel increasingly uncomfortable as the guy gets to know Hitomi better. After last week’s episode, I feel as though this is where the character drama is headed. I can’t say I’m a big fan of these love polygons, but we’ll see…

— Elsewhere, Yuito’s mom is concerned that her son wants to look for a job. She fears that he’s not giving art school enough consideration. Maybe he’s just that pragmatic about his future.

— Or maybe he’s got his own issues to deal with. Maybe he’s depressed about something, but he doesn’t feel comfortable opening up to anyone about his feelings. After all, I suspect he wouldn’t want to overburden his single mother. Plus, there’s always the stigma that guys are supposed to be emotionally resilient. Oh, they can be emotional… just not weak at the same time. When men look weak, this is a major turn-off for a lot of people, where they want to openly admit it or not.

— When someone turns down an opportunity like art school, the common refrain is always, “Oh, but you’re so talented! It’d be such a waste if you didn’t stick with it!” I think that’s the wrong way to look at it, though. Obviously, if Yuito is passionate about art, then he should pursue it. More specifically, however, I think he should pursue it regardless of his talent level. At the same time, however, that’s sort of a privileged perspective, isn’t it? If you have the luxury to pursue art even if you have no aptitude for it, then you’re pretty damn lucky… relatively speaking.

— Oh hey, Hitomi and Kohaku are finally having that conversation. Kohaku’s solution: let’s just wing it. And as I thought, it was Hitomi’s fault that the train showed up this morning. Yeah, yeah, we already knew that she had hidden magic potential. After all, it’s in her blood.

— Cute moment: Kohaku initially wants to know who she ends up marrying, but she ultimately decides against it. Well, we know at least that it isn’t one of the three dorks in the Photography Arts Club. Otherwise, Hitomi would’ve recognized one of them as her gramps… unless, of course, PA Works pulls a dirty twist on us.

— Plus, depending on what happens from here on out, the future might change. Kohaku might end up marrying somebody else completely.

— Watching these kids hang out in a dark and spooky school later that night, I’m reminded of Another, a horror series by the same studio. Honestly, I thought it kinda sucked. PA Works’s stuff is too pretty for horror. Some of the best horror films have been pure jank, man. And that’s how you approach the uncanny valley. Beauty isn’t uncanny. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be beautiful.

— Still, Chigusa manages to scare Kurumi with his ghost stories, so she refuses to go up to the rooftop. I’d think the rooftop is less scary, but whatever. As punishment, Sho tells Chigusa to stick with the girl. He sounds annoyed, so she looks annoyed in return. Ah well, you two lovebirds should just admit your feelings to each other already.

— Later on the rooftop, Asagi stares as Sho continues to show Hitomi the ropes.

— Since we have two Tsukishiros, the group decides to refer to the two girls by their first names. Well, they all do except Yuito. For some reason, he insists on still calling Hitomi by her family name. Most importantly, she seems disappointed. Hoo boy, I’m not sure where this drama is going, but I’m feeling a little apprehensive about it!

— Elsewhere, Chigusa continues to tease Kurumi. Not much to speak of here. It’s obvious that they’ve been paired up right from the get-go.

— Asagi might worry about Sho’s burgeoning friendship with Hitomi — after all, it might be forcing her to truly reconsider what he means to her — but their interactions are so dry and straightforward, so I’m not sure if she has much to worry about. At the moment, Sho only talks to Hitomi about how to use the camera. Meanwhile, Yuito casually walks up and gives our heroine a whole new perspective on how she sees the world. It’s funny, because on the one hand, he sounds like he’s trying too hard to be deep, but on the other hand, it’s obvious that these two have a certain, undeniable connection. Otherwise, would someone as painfully shy and lacking in confidence as Hitomi be so bold as to admit that she wants to see his next drawing?

— Unfortunately, he has such a flat response to her request. First, it takes Yuito a while to even reply to Hitomi, then he just kinda stares off into the distance. It’s almost as if he answered because he felt obligated to, but on the inside, he’s wrestling with something he won’t reveal to us just yet. What does his art mean to him and why does he feel so reluctant to share it? And if his art is that personal, why does it look so generic?

— All of a sudden, Kurumi and Chigusa run screaming up to the rooftop, claiming that they’ve just seen a ghost. It’s probably just Kohaku messing with them.

— Yep, it’s just Kohaku.

— Obaachan then gives a spiel about how she wants her magic to make people smile. Yeah, whatever you say, Shiny Chariot.

— Then in front of everybody, not only does Hitomi admit that she doesn’t like magic, Kohaku reveals in return that the girl is her granddaughter. Needless to say, the other kids are very confused.

— It’s such a crazy world that people can easily accept the fact that Hitomi is from the future. Not only that, they still see her as their friend. I mean, why wouldn’t they? But poor ol’ Hitomi worries about everything. To be fair, Yuito’s a bit speechless.

— Uh, prime focus for what?

— Then afterwards, Hitomi and Kohaku team up to cast this neat little magic spell. At least it’s better than just a boring night skyline.

— At the end of the night, Kohaku teases Yuito for his inability to call Hitomi by her first name. He doesn’t really respond to it. Instead, he only wonders if our heroine will eventually have to return to her original timeline. Maybe he has the same issues as Hitomi. Maybe he’s been abandoned in the past.

— The next morning, Kohaku predictably joins the club, but she’s also merging the Magic Club with it. As for Hitomi, she’s a bit distracted. Again, the only colors in her world exist within Yuito’s drawings. But if he feels as though she might depart one day, maybe he won’t want to get any closer to her. After all, he didn’t seem too excited about the idea of showing her his next drawing.

I wish. But we’re not on an adventure, are we? 

— More origin story at the beginning of the episode. It’d be funny if the disembodied voice just happens to be the person running this campaign.

— So far, it’s pretty much generic fantasy fare. Of course, it’s what you do with the characters and the setting, but… well, you tell me. After three episodes, has Goblin Slayer done anything remotely interesting other than remind people that there are consequences? That there’s a reason why adulthood is not usually as low as fifteen? I’d barely trust a 15-year-old kid to drive a car. Why would I want them to go rescue hostages and murder goblin-kin?

— Elf Girl claims that her ability to curve her arrow is just pure technique. Sure.

— Elf Girl then obstinately refuses to drench herself in goblin blood. Naturally, Priestess is no longer sympathetic.

— So wait, are goblins really all male? Really? Really really? ‘Cause that’s just stupid. Well, what else is new, right? But look, if they’re all male, then they can literally only survive as a species by kidnapping and forcing themselves on other humanoid races. Genetically, that doesn’t make much sense, because the race would obviously dilute itself over time. But of course, this is fantasy so hurr durr don’t worry about it!

— You’d think Priestess would stop dressing up in mostly white. Why even bother to wear such ornate garb if you’re going to have to stain yourself in goblin blood on the regular?

— Oddly enough, Dwarf Guy and Lizard Man don’t seem to be drenched in blood. Oh right, goblins can only sniff out women, children, and elves. How specific. We should just draft old men to go on goblin huntin’ parties then. Hey, it’s for the good of the nation. Do it, ya old bastards.

— Elf Girl sniffs out an advanced trap, so apparently, we’re up against smart goblins this time.

— The party eventually stumbles upon a room where the goblins do their business. And of course, the place has a naked elven girl all chained up. She has obviously been tortured and mistreated. Priestess wants to heal the woman, but Goblin Slayer steps forward with his sword as though he’s going to put the victim out of her misery. But it turns out he only wanted to slay a goblin! Haha, oh Goblin Slayer!

— Lizard Man then summons a skeletal warrior to carry the victim out of the dungeon. I’m just thinking that if I see a skeletal warrior coming at me, I’d probably assume that it’s a threat. But it’s okay, because Priestess wrote a letter to explain the situation!

— I’m kinda surprised that Elf Girl is so surprised. What did she think the goblins were doing with her people? She’s 2000 years old, but this is all new to her? Really? Is this why you schmucks don’t take the goblin threat seriously? Because you’re all this ignorant?

— But this is all just a lame ploy. When they find the rest of the goblins later, Elf Girl’s going to go on a murderous rampage. So y’know, having her act all shell-shocked now is just cheap motivation for her turn in character.

— This is one huge dungeon. Hell, they even have time to pause and set up camp. You can see Elf Girl sitting off to the side, facing away from the party. But again, I’m incredulous, because I find it hard to imagine that someone who has existed for two millennia would be so sheltered.

— Goblin Slayer is all about goblin-killing efficiency, so he comes off as harsh and uncaring. He tells Elf Girl that she should just head back if she can’t stomach the situation. Well, he’s usually a solo player, right? So he doesn’t understand party dynamics. He can be blunt with himself, but this sort of attitude can pull down your party’s morale. And if the morale goes down, then obviously their goblin-killing efficiency goes down. But we’ll see. Either Elf Girl toughens up or Goblin Slayer learns to be less of a jerk. Maybe they both have to compromise.

— Elf Girl says she can’t go back after seeing what they had done to the victim. Welp, there you go. Elf Girl wants revenge. Dwarf Guy then tells her that goblins are mortal enemies to the dwarves as well. Maybe they could convince the rest of the races to take goblins more seriously, then.

— The party eventually comes across a room full of goblins, so Dwarf Guy dances and spews out a fine mist of firewine. Meanwhile, Priestess casts silence. The rest of the group proceeds to kill each of the goblins in their sleep. That’s teamwork for ya.

— Look at Elf Girl go hogwild on that goblin!

— Boy, it must really stink in there.

— Finally, after three-and-a-half episodes, our hero will now have to fight a challenging enemy. Hell, it’s not even a goblin this time! As a result, Goblin Slayer sounds disappointed.

— This guy is like a raid boss. He certainly acts like one.

— According to the Ogre, he was granted an army of goblins. Uh, that’s nothing to be proud of, dude.

— I’m not really surprised that Goblin Slayer has never heard of ogres or the demon lord’s generals. If you think about it, he’s just a country bumpkin who took up a sword in order to avenge his sister. He only goes from place to place in order to murder goblins, so he’s not exactly well-traveled or anything.

— I’m surprised that Priestess’s protection spell kept the party safe. Sniff, our little girl’s all grown up! Wait, no, she’s an adult now, you guys!

— At Goblin Slayer’s behest, Lizard Man summons more skeletal warriors. Father Iguanodon cracks me up.

— So uh… can the Ogre only cast one massive fireball? That’s lame.

— So the party tries to use their different skills and abilities to take the Ogre down, but unfortunately, he seems to have super fast healing. Elf Girl nails the Ogre right in the eye with an arrow, but he just shakes it off. Goblin Slayer then gets smacked into a pillar. Obviously, he’s not used to fighting anything but goblins. Hell, I wonder if he can even hunt deer.

— Uh, one of your fingers is probably bigger than “these females.”

— Priestess rushes to try and heal Goblin Slayer while the rest of the party tries to distract the Ogre. Obviously, they can’t hold out for very long.

— Oh no, skeletal boi! H-he was too good for this world.

— Oh hey, it’s another fireball. So he can cast another one. He was just being arrogant or whatever. And now that Priestess is out of MP, she can no longer shield her party. But whatever, there’s no tension here because I can’t help but feel as though each and every single one of these characters have plot armor.

— Of course, the Ogre threatens to keep Priestess as his plaything if she survives. It’s like the show just can’t help itself.

— But this time, Goblin Slayer pulls out one of his precious scrolls. Suddenly, we see the Ogre get carved up into smaller chunks. Y’know, there’s something lame about this. The party didn’t really beat the raid boss through their own skill or anything. Goblin Slayer had to resort to what is essentially an auto-win button. I mean, sure, it took some ingenuity, but eh…

— Goblin Slayer then calmly walks up to what’s left of the Ogre and finishes the raid boss off. He also insists that goblins are a bigger threat than theOgre, so I guess that’s some last second humiliation for ya. So… do you even get experience for this?

— In the aftermath, the party emerges from the dungeon mostly safe and sound. But like Goblin Slayer, no one has much to say after what they’ve just been through. Like I said, if you manage to survive in this universe long enough, you’ll just eventually become a Goblin Slayer yourself.

— Elf Girl whines that she still doesn’t like Goblin Slayer very much, ’cause these quests suck. These quests are no fun at all, she says! Well, stop seeing everything as a goddamn quest, then. When bad guys kidnap the hostages, do you think the cops tell themselves, “Boys, it’s time to go on an adventure!” When soldiers have to liberate a captured city, did they proclaim beforehand that they were going on a quest? Elf Girl helped take down a dungeon full of goblins, and she even managed to save one of her kind, but she’s unhappy ’cause it wasn’t fun? It’s amazing that she’s 2000 years old, ’cause she’s about as mature as a teenager.

— Plus, she acts like this is all Goblin Slayer’s fault or something — like he deliberately sucked the fun out of the quest for her. Could he have been nicer to her? Yeah. But when you go into a goblin’s sex dungeon, I don’t know what you expected to find. Cute, little animals and exotic culture? Get outta here.

— If Elf Girl doesn’t like Goblin Slayer, fine. I don’t like him either. But her rant is asinine.

— In the after credits scene, Goblin Slayer returns to his childhood friend. I’m sure he’s never laid a single finger on her, though.

It only took four episodes for them to leave the first town. 

— Somehow, the goblins here look worse than the ones in Goblin Slayer. Actually, everything here looks kinda like plastic.

— Eugeo is scared stiff, but I have to cut him some slack. After all, this is real life to him. He truly believes that he can die (and he probably can). On the other hand, it’s easy for Kirito to come up with a plan when it’s all just fun and games.

— Even when Kirito knocks out the torches, the room doesn’t get any darker. What is the light source here? Are the crystals naturally emitting light?

— Apparently, the goblins are afraid of a lil’ magic.

— Goblin Slayer approved…

— …whoops, maybe not. Little kids should probably leave the goblin slayin’ jobs to the adults.

— The action’s not bad, I guess. I just can’t shake the feeling that this is all pointless. Kirito can tell us over and over how real this VRMMO feels, but that just means the technology has gotten even better. But when you really pause and reflect, isn’t this all just a waste of time? Well, I’ll expand on this at the end of the post.

— Anyways, Eugeo has had years to reflect on his inability to save Alice, and as a result, he doesn’t want to make the same mistake again. The kid is determined to do what he can to help Kirito this time around.

— Ah, Kirito legitimately fears for his life.

— Due to his size, I thought that the goblin’s swing would send Eugeo, an untrained fighter, flying. But since this is all made up anyways… eh.

— I also thought that a blow like this one would cleave Eugeo in half, but apparently not. To be fair, he is bleeding quite profusely.

— Wait, when did Eugeo get his memories of Kirito back? Well, the latter now gets his memories of their shared childhood back as well. So even though only three days had passed in the real world, Kirito can’t help but feel as though he’s spent years growing up with Eugeo and Alice. I don’t suppose this sort of thing would have psychological side effects, would it?

— If this arc really wants to be different, it should try and really mess with our perception of time. Imagine seeing a wizened, 300-year-old Kirito still trying to save Alice or something. Too bad the story will insist on keeping him and Eugeo looking like teenagers.

— So Kirito clashes once more with the goblin leader. During the fight, he briefly ponders whether or not his enemy is also an artificial soul. That may very well be the case, but we don’t really know where these souls go when they die in the Underworld, huh? It wouldn’t be very efficient for the mysterious company behind everything to just continually dispose of these souls if they can somehow reuse them.

— Okay, now Goblin Slayer approves…

— …but Kirito then allows the rest of the goblins to run away, so maybe not. What’s worse is that they’ll just find a new leader and continue kidnapping people.

— Amazing. Despite all that loss of blood, Eugeo is still clinging to life.

— Selka slept through all that ruckus, but as soon as Kirito tells her to wake up, she does. Hilarious.

— There’s something wrong with the girl, because Kirito had to beg her to use her Sacred Arts on Eugeo. Yeah, sure, she might truly believe that it’s too late to save the guy, but wouldn’t you at least try? What’s the worst that could happen?

— What’s even worse is that Kirito had to remind Selka that Eugeo came to save her and not Alice? Like c’mon…

— Apparently, she has to cast a high-level spell. If she fails, both she and Kirito might die. Why? Because this is still a game, so everything has durability (HP). If Eugeo is running low on durability, let’s just give him some of ours! I take nothing back, though. I still think the girl should’ve felt the urgency to save Eugeo.

— So this is dangerous, right? It’s okay! Some angelic presence is helping Kirito! You are always in the Lord’s hands!

— And the Lord is apparently Alice.

— All of a sudden, we cut to Eugeo hacking away at that tree again. I knew the show couldn’t resist. We should just spend every episode on this dumb tree.

— Kirito asks Eugeo about memories of their childhood, but the latter is now back to being skeptical. He also didn’t hear Alice’s voice at all during the whole healing incident. As a result, our hero decides to keep it to himself for now. Yeah, yeah, I know. You guys are bored too, so let’s get back to the exciting stuff like chopping down this tree!

— After just one battle against a bunch of goblins, Kirito is suddenly strong again. Welp.

— But he’s not the only one. Dude, if I knew goblins gave this much XP, I’d never stop farming them in my games.

— As an aside, you do spend a lot of time leveling up on goblins in FFXI.

— Eugeo now begs Kirito to teach him how to wield a sword, because he’s determined to save Alice. He’s determined to right the wrongs from six years ago. I wish I could feel anything for him, but I don’t. More on this at the end of the post.

— Time for a training montage. I can only wonder how much time has elapsed within this virtual world.

— Oh no, the tree is quickly running out of durability! If we cut the tree down, what are we going to do with the rest of the series?!

— Welp, they had to go and do it. Now we’re going to have to find a bigger tree! I hope you boys are happy!

— Later that night, there’s a huge party for cutting down a dumb tree. Also, Selka and Kirito have a private chat, but there’s nothing interesting here. Sure, we learn a thing or two about the girl, but think about it… Kirito and Eugeo are about to embark on a quest to save Alice. Are we really going to see Selka that much anymore? Probably not. Plus, she’s boring character anyways. She doesn’t have much of a personality.

— When did he scoot closer to her?

— Alice’s dad doesn’t look like he’s aged one bit.

— Meanwhile, Eugeo gets to pick his next Calling, so in front of the entire village, he announces that he’ll become a swordsman. Ho-hum.

— The next morning, right before he departs, Eugeo informs Selka of his intentions. Again, just wrapping up some loose ends.

–After three major arcs and some silly dalliance with a sick girl, why contrive yet another scenario in which our hero engages in yet another generic high fantasy concept with knights, goblins, and dragons? Like is this the truly the extent of your creativity as a writer?

— So as I was watching this episode, I just kept asking myself why any of this matters. Why bother with Eugeo and Selka? Why bother with Alice? Does any of this really matter? I guess that’s the story’s job, isn’t it? The show has to convince me that I should care about Kirito’s virtual adventures when he’s probably strapped down in a hospital in real life, fighting to survive while Asuna cries next to him. And oh yeah, that Death Gun jerk is still out there somewhere. And so far, I can’t say that SAO is doing a really good job.

— Yeah, sure, you could argue that Eugeo and Alice have souls. But is this really all that functionally different from a hypothetical intelligent AI that can think and feel? I suspect that we’re tossing the word “soul” around because it has a certain cachet attached to it. And as such, I’m supposed to just accept at face-value that Eugeo and Alice have lives that are much more meaningful. Unfortunately, I just can’t shake the fact this whole scenario has been concocted to further some company’s mysterious goals. As a result, Eugeo and Alice need to be saved from the outside.

— I’m not saying that Eugeo and Alice can’t suffer. It’s clear that they can. It’s clear that they have thoughts and feelings of their own. But if we want to improve their “lives,” we know what needs to be done. What I mean is that — as lame as this sounds — Kirito has the potential to have god like powers over this virtual world. Yeah, sure, we can go on a quest to save Alice within the game. Or we could somehow extricate ourselves from this MMO and insist that the creators stop messing around with these souls.

— To put it another way, I play a game like, say, Dragon Quest XI from start to finish, because it’s just a game. But if the characters within the game actually had actual souls, I wouldn’t actually play the game, now would I? Why wouldn’t I just go directly to Square Enix and demand the company to stop acting like such jerks? Once you pull back the curtain and reveal that it is all a conceit, there’s no going back.

— Show’s still pretty boring. It doesn’t even have a decent set-up like its predecessors. The first arc was all about being trapped in a game and figuring out how to escape from it. The second arc was all about saving Asuna. The third arc was about figuring out how Death Gun was killing people. Since then, however, the show has lost all sense of urgency.

And they say guys miss out on obvious hints. Well, we ain’t the only ones! 

— So Akane strongly suspects that Yuta is her enemy, but she isn’t 100% sure. As a result, she begins her investigation by approaching Rikka, which honestly isn’t a bad place to start.

— What’s surprising is that these two used to be friends, but they had slowly drifted apart over the years. I’m just thinking that the best way to understand Akane might actually be through Rikka.

— After all, Akane’s kinda weird. She seems harmless enough on the surface, but up close, you’ll quickly realize she doesn’t really do a good job of hiding her negative tendencies. She angers easily, and her friendliness always has a certain fake sheen to it. Here, we see Akane get rather pushy after Rikka attempts to brush off a question about her friendship with Yuta. The former eventually claims that she’s just kidding, but if I was Rikka, I’d begin to wonder what Akane was trying to get at.

— When Rikka gets to school, her friends immediately invite her to go hang out with a few college boys on Saturday. A nosy Akane quickly invites herself, and since she’s the popular girl, no one has an issue with this. Welp.

— Later that day, Rikka l seems to be in a really good mood, which doesn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the Gridman Alliance. The boys freak out when they hear about the group date, but it sounds like Rikka is only going in order to hang out with Akane. Ah, if only she knew that her former friend was a murderous psychopath.

— Still, I find it funny that Yuta is so concerned about his friend meeting up with a bunch of college boys. Does he have feelings for Rikka already? When did that happen? He still hasn’t recovered his memories, but he’s already got a crush on her? I mean, sure, he was worried about her in last week’s episode, but I didn’t know that meant that he liked her.

— Meanwhile, Sho is more hung up on Akane. Like Rikka, he’s in for a real shocker.

— Even Gridman is giving Yuta tips on his love life.

— So of course, Yuta and Sho decide to stalk the girls, ’cause that’s what you do in fiction. When your love interest hangs out with a member of the opposite sex, you gotta follow them!

— Then again, if we wanna talk shady, we have a bunch of college guys trying to pick up high school girls. They’re not even like first years in college. They’re all 21.

— I’m more interested in that program on TV. Hell, it’s probably a reference to something I’m not familiar with.

— Again, Akane asks Rikka about Yuta. As you can tell, she’s super subtle. She might want to look into becoming a detective when she grows up.

— Throughout the group date, Akane repeatedly tries to talk about Yuta, but the college boys keep interrupting her. Look at Akane’s eyes. She looks like she’s about to snap. Those boys better watch out, because she might sic her kaiju on them.

— Plus, maybe our villainess should consider using her charms on Sho. He’d probably spill all sorts of information to a pretty face.

— No longer able to deal with all the rudeness, Akane ditches the group date. In the elevator, the girl bitterly mashes one of the buttons as she curses under her breath. Someone’s going to die.

— Meanwhile, Yuta continues to stalk Rikka, and he freaks out even further when he sees her having a friendly chat with a guy! Do nerds really think that this is how social interactions work? If a girl even talks to a guy, then that means that they’re going to fall in love? RIP platonic friendships.

— Unfortunately for our hero, Sho no longer has anything to worry about since Akane has already gone home. These kids, man. To be fair, it’s pretty daunting to confess to your crush at that age.

— At the end of the night, we see Anti standing outside Akane’s home like a lost puppy waiting for its master. Unfortunately, she has nothing but disdain for her own creation. I’d like to think it’s her fault that Anti failed in battle, but you can’t reason with crazies.

— And sure enough, she actually has a job for Anti after her anger subsides. The kid, however, refuses on the grounds that he only cares about taking out Gridman, but let’s see if he can keep refusing Akane as the series continues.

— Elsewhere, a forlorn Yuta is distraught over the fact that he lost sight of Rikka and her group. Dude, c’mon. If you’re that worried, just call her up again. After what happened last week, she’d probably answer.

— Crazy anime girls and box cutters… name a more iconic duo.

— Max shows up out of nowhere to lend an ear to the hero. The kid suddenly brings up that weird interaction he had with Rikka back in the very first episode. Y’know, now that I think about it, maybe he had confessed to her right before losing his memories. This would probably explain her response. Also, his crush on her wouldn’t be coming out left field. It would make sense for Rikka to play dumb after the fact. She doesn’t appear to have any feelings for him at the time or eve now. But the OP has already kinda spoiled the outcome of this pairing for us, so… yeah. It’s probably going to be one of those last episode things where our hero finally recovers his memories, so he goes and confesses to the girl he loves one more time. And by then, she’ll probably have developed feelings for him.

— Yuta finally admits to Max that he does like Rikka. Well, now he just has to admit it to her… possibly for the second time.

— Welp, Akane works fast. It looks like the college boys are getting murdered already. I also love how this guy hears his friend frantically screaming on the phone and he’s just all like, “That was odd.” You guys are terrible friends. Oh well, he’s the next to die anyway.

— Similarly, Rikka’s mom doesn’t seem the least bothered that a dude with a mask likes to hang around her junk shop.

— The next day, Rikka departs once more to meet up with her friends. Yuta can act all suspicious if he wants, but he’s not going to get anywhere without being direct.

— Looks like there’s only one member of Arcadia left. But again, whenever bad things happen, history gets rewritten, so Rikka’s friends act as though the group has only ever been a one-man band.

— Back at the junk shop, Gridman reveals that he also has no memories of his past. At this point, it’s hard not to see Gridman as an extension of Yuta.

— Since Rikka is so worried, she first checks up on Akane. After seeing that the psycho girl is okay, Rikka then goes and meets up with the last remaining member of Arcadia. The guy will probably think she’s interested in him when she just wants to make sure he doesn’t die. Just another silly misunderstanding!

— All of a sudden, a heavy mist rolls in, so we know that a kaiju is about to attack. But do none of the characters see the mist? Can the guy not notice? Can Rikka also not notice despite being a member of the Gridman Alliance?

— Sure enough, the guy is attacked by… tentacles?

— Luckily, Calibur is quick to act. Did he follow Rikka to make sure that she was safe? ‘Cause we later see Gridman say that even he couldn’t sense the impending kaiju attack. Ah well.

— Finally, Gridman and Yuta show up in time to fight the kaiju. But this also alerts Anti to their presence, so our heroes quickly find themselves in a 2 vs 1 battle.

— Kinda. Unfortunately, Akane’s latest creation and Anti don’t exactly have the best teamwork. Or any teamwork for that matter.

— The entire group of weirdos, a.k.a. the Neon Genesis Junior High Students, want to lend Yuta and Gridman a hand. So with their powers combined, we get… we get a false alarm. Gridman can’t merge with his weapons, because the computer froze. The damn computer froze.

— What is this? CSI?! Rikka proceeds to fix the problem by unplugging the computer and plugging it back in!

— Apparently, the computer is not yet strong enough to handle all four weapons merging with Gridman. Sounds like we need to build a new PC. Too bad all the good video cards are currently jacked up in price thanks to miners. So for now, our hero’s just going to go to battle with Max. Like every previous battle, however, victory comes easy. SSSS.GRIDMAN has yet to show us a nail-biter of a fight, and I’m kinda hungry for one.

— In the aftermath, Yuta attributes the victory to Rikka’s quick thinking. Ohhhh, putting on the moves, I see.

— He then asks her how the group date had gone. When he hears that she didn’t have any fun, he’s emboldened to ask her out. Unfortunately for Yuta, Rikka assumes that he wants to hang out with everyone as a group. Be that as it may, I’m pleasantly surprised that our hero could even work up the courage to ask the girl out in the first place. It’s only the fourth episode, so he’s got plenty of time to work out the kinks.

— Is Yuta the best recent Trigger male protagonist thus far? Look, he’s nothing special, but he might just win by default. ‘Cause if you think about it, DARLING in the FRANXX‘s Hiro was pretty much useless after the fifteenth episode. On the other hand, I don’t even wanna talk about Jurai from When Supernatural Battles Became Commonplace. Yuta’s only real competition is, uh, Ninja Slayer.

— Meanwhile, Akane continues to take her anger out on Anti. That college guy also hilariously tries to call her up. But even though Akane is pissed at all these Ls that Gridman keeps handing her, she remains upbeat and excited for the future. She really relishes this challenge. Since she’s a bit of a psychopath, she’s probably also one of those bored psychopaths.

— Right before the credits roll, we see Rikka worry that everything is happening because of her. In the first episode, some of her friends died. In the third episode, the kaiju kinda attacked near her. Finally, in this episode, three guys that she just met yesterday are now dead. It’s only natural for her to fear that she might have something to do with all these attacks. She doesn’t — at least not directly — but she doesn’t know that.

— Now that we’ve already gotten a third of the series under our belt, I hope that our heroes start being a little more proactive. If Akane is trying to figure out Gridman’s true identity, then I think Yuta and his friends should start trying to figure out where all these kaiju are coming from. In the meantime, however, they act like they’re just keen to live out their daily high school lives, only stopping once in a while to fight the obligatory battle against the kaiju-of-the-week. As the body count continues to pile up, I hope that the Gridman Alliance starts to take its job a little more seriously.

When it comes right down to it, Philip just can’t betray her creepy father, but can you blame her? It’s kinda hard to argue against a ghost. Yo, we need an exorcist over here! 

— Apparently, this series has so much backstory that the adaptation can’t cover everything. As a result, we only hear about the Duke of Burgundy’s death in the opening narration.

— I think it would’ve been novel if the entire show had this art direction all the way through, but of course, we need our maidens to have giant breasts.

— Anyways, we pick up where we last left off. Bear Dude identifies himself as Girard, and he still aims to carve the philosopher’s stone out of Jeanne’s body. Meanwhile, Montmorency is stuck having a friendly chat with La Tremoille, his step-brother.

— It’s pretty obvious that La Hire is going to have to get our heroes out of this mess. Normally, you can’t really depend on mercenaries and sellswords, and La Tremoille even tries to pay them off. Unfortunately for him, La Hire’s gang is not too happy to hear that Jeanne and Montmorency have been captured.

— Luckily for our heroes, La Hire will have plenty of time to spring into action, because Girard’s not going to carve Jeanne up right away. Instead, he’s kicking her around like a ragdoll, because he still needs more information from her. Y’see, he’s not a complete idiot; he knows that he can’t do anything with the philosopher’s stone by itself. But therein lies the problem: even if Jeanne tells him about Montmorency’s elixir, what can he do with this knowledge? Capture the guy and kiss him every single time he wants to become a Ulysses? Yeah, I can’t see that happening.

— Speaking of Montmorency, La Tremoille also wastes a whole bunch of time time by telling his step-brother all about their dastardly plans. Basically, they’ll hand a good chunk of France over to England, and Philip is being used as a mediator for the so-called peace talks. Bad guys just can’t help themselves. They always get too chatty when they should just kill the heroes right off the bat.

— Montmorency wants to believe in Charlotte, but everyone tells him that this is pointless. Apparently, the girl lost her mind because she had to see so much bloodshed.

— As a result, the main character just blames himself, because he wasn’t there for any of his friends over the past seven years. I mean, I dunno, wasn’t some weird magic at fault? Before he knew it, seven years had just passed him by. I’m still not really sure what really happened. I mean, if he was that obsessed with making the elixir, when did he stop to eat and sleep? When did he stop to do his business? How did he have enough money to keep himself alive for seven years? I dunno, that whole section of the story is kinda trash.

— Still, Montmorency beats himself up over failing to fulfill that promise he had made with his friends seven years ago, and this somehow convinces Richemont that the guy is being earnest. She kinda just forgives him right there and then.

— Elsewhere, we see someone arrive to save Astaroth. It’s probably La Hire.

— Finally, La Tremoille makes his move to execute Montmorency and Richemont, but because he wasted so much time blabbering about nonsense, La Hire and the mercenaries are here to save the day. Way to go, bad guy.

— As for Girard, I guess he’s kinda stuck. He could carve the philosopher’s stone out of Jeanne’s body, but it would do him no good. So he goes and licks Jeanne’s blood? Um, okay…

— After crying uselessly for half an episode, Charlotte finally screams for help, and as a result, the good guys barge into the room. Too bad Girard has his knife at Jeanne’s throat.

— Montmorency thus tries to bargain for Jeanne’s life by holding up the other half of the stone. He’ll even go so far as to coat it with his own saliva, which pleases Girard. When the main character tosses the stone over to the bad guy, I thought that this would’ve been the golden opportunity to shoot the guy. Look, he’s distracted and the knife is nowhere near Jeanne’s throat! But apparently, this isn’t needed.

— Why? Because we’re then told that the elixir evaporates instantly when it is exposed to air. As a result, Girard ends up swallowing the stone without the elixir at all, and his body quickly goes boom. Man, I feel sorry for the servants that will have clean up this bloody mess.

— And just like that, the old Charlotte is back thanks to Jeanne. The girl’s selflessness convinced the princess that there’s still hope in this world. Haha, whatever. Both she and Richemont spent all of last week’s episode whining on and on about their issues, but they sure did get over themselves real quick.

— Alright, the threat is over. Time to tie up the loose ends.

— La Hire and the mercenaries are paid handsomely for their heroics, so they’re obviously sticking around. It sounds like France is in need of manpower for their army anyways.

— Meanwhile, Montmorency tries to work his magic on Philip. Basically, France needs to unite in order to push England back and achieve peace. Also, don’t forget our promise!

— Unfortunately, as soon as Montmorency leaves, the dead ghost of Philip’s father admonishes her for even considering siding with Charlotte. Basically, the jerk wants Burgundy to become a powerful country, and even though he’s now dead, he expects Philip to carry out his ambitions. Well, like I said, it’s hard to ignore a ghost. Philip could try to stand up to her father, but then he would probably mess with her for the rest of her life. She’d probably go nuts if she isn’t already kinda messed up in the head.

— And if you think about it, Philip probably didn’t have a very happy childhood. I bet you she’s been abused aplenty.

— But enough about the ghost, so let’s get back to some harem hijinks. Basically, Montmorency is a weakling who can’t fight off a little girl. Whenever Jeanne wants his precious juices, she just forces herself upon him. This time, she embarrasses him in front of Charlotte and Richemont.

— So what is he going to do with the other half of the philosopher’s stone? Charlotte volunteers herself, and although Richemont tries to be all tsundere, her own intentions are obvious.

— For some reason, however, Jeanne absolutely refuses to share Montmorency with the rest of his harem. What? Does she have feelings for him? Eh, probably.

— Unfortunately for both of his childhood friends, Montmorency only gave half of the stone to Jeanne in order to save her. He has no desire to subject his dear friends to the same fate.

— I still suspect that he’s going to use the other half on himself at some point (maybe to save Jeanne), because it would be kinda weird if the guy stays useless for the rest of the series. But hey, maybe his job is to just stand in the back and provide the brains to Jeanne’s brawn.

— Wait, as long as Philip makes up his mind?

— Speaking of which, Philip eventually shows up to deliver the bad news: she won’t be teaming up with Charlotte.

— Montmorency makes one last ditch attempt to appeal to his old friend, but his argument kinda sucks. Yeah, but… but our friendship! Our promise! Dude, you haven’t seen her in seven years. Do you think your words really carry that much weight after everything she’s been through?

— Philip doesn’t say anything. She just pulls the main character in for a kiss as a single tear rolls down her cheek. Then as her carriage pulls away, her dumb, lopsided head tells her father that she just got her hands on the elixir. But uh… does she have a stone in her body already or something? ‘Cause what good is the elixir by itself? Also, can it just sit in her body until it’s ready for use?

— We do see some dark-haired woman in the OP causing trouble for our heroes, so maybe Philip is fated to become Jeanne’s foil. After all, she’s the only other girl to kiss Montmorency. But unless she keeps finding ways to kiss him, I’m not sure how she’s going to sustain herself. Jeanne can only fight for three minutes, after all.

— Oh well, what’s done is done. Our heroes will have to forge on ahead without Philip, so we soon see Charlotte declare her intentions to fight back against England and reclaim the rest of France from the enemy. Too bad she’s not really speaking to the people.

— At first, the upper class elites are skeptical about their chances of victory, but this all changes when Jeanne shows up in her knightly garb. So um… are those half-pants? Who designed this outfit?

— Also, Jeanne waves a flag that has a symbol of purity emblazoned on it. Pretty ironic considering how she has to suck Montmorency’s face whenever she gets too horny.

— Off to the side, Astaroth is pleased that they’re one step closer to achieving her utopian ideals. Montmorency then wonders why she’s so hellbent on peace and all that junk. The fairy simply replies that she needs to atone. Okay then. Let’s not ask her what she means by that.

— Unfortunately, La Tremoire somehow managed to escape unscathed, and he’s planning his next move. And thanks to the preview for next week’s episode, we already know what he’s up to. Apparently, he’s going to challenge Jeanne’s legitimacy by checking to see if she’s still a virgin or not. Man, people believe such stupid things, because there are so many ways to tear the hymen without having sex.

— Also, I have no clue what’s happening here.

— Last but not least, don’t make this argument at home, kids. I doubt it’ll hold up in court.

If Minato wants to climb his way back to the top, it’s going to take baby steps. 

— Right off the bat, we learn that the man has dedicated himself to firing 10,000 arrows over 100 days. He doesn’t keep score either. Is he punishing himself? Is there a point to such a momentous task? Nope, this is nothing more than a man’s whim. Well, I suppose that’s one way to do it. You could argue that Minato is too results-oriented. Because he worries too much about how well he’s doing, he loses sight of, well, everything else. And by that, I mean the preparation, the form, the art of kyudo.

— After all, nobody says that you have to be good. Do I like to write? Yeah. Am I good at it? Probably not. But even though I won’t be winning awards for my blog anytime soon, that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop writing. It would be a shame for Minato to quit archery just because he’s not good at it. Winning provides one meaning to what we do, but not the only meaning.

— When the man keeps insisting that Minato should take a shot, the kid snaps and causes the owl — aptly named Who — to fly off. And with that, our protagonist takes his leave. I’m not sure what Minato is blushing for, but I guess it’ll take more than a day for a hot guy to get through to him.

— The next morning, the kid can’t help but daydream about the man and his beauteous form. Meanwhile, relations between him and Seiya remain ice cold. I can’t say I blame Minato either. Like I said last week, I think Seiya wasn’t being a very good friend by allowing the main character to embarrass himself in front of everybody.

— Ryohei is annoyingly cheerful. Plus, it sounds like these guys can’t take a hint. They’re going to keep hammering away at Minato until his defenses fall. Sorry, but I really dislike pushy people. I know they have good intentions, but no one deserves to be emotionally guilt-tripped into anything, which is what Ryohei pulled in Minato last time.

— Besides, even without the main character, the kyudo club will continue.

— Well, Kaito sure is unpleasant.

— Minato couldn’t resist, so he finds his way back to the other kyudo hall. As as expected, we now sit and watch as these two characters focus on everything but the results.

— Also, time to make amends with the owl.

— Like I said last week, I think KyoAni overdoes it with the soundtrack. They also tend to torture their metaphors, so I expect to see examples of that as the story unfolds. The studio just can’t help itself.

— Meanwhile, the kyudo club at school is already talking about an upcoming tournament. Jumping the gun a bit, aren’t we?

— So you need five people to compete as a group, and since there are only three girls on the team at the moment, they’ll have to compete individually. The boys would have to do the same, but Seiya insists that they should compete as a group. You already know what he has in mind; he’s still hellbent on recruiting Minato. This guy is kinda exasperating, but at the same time, the outcome is inevitable. You just know that they’ll win the main character over eventually. Sigh.

— Gosh, why wouldn’t I want to join such a lovable group!

— Now let’s double down and be extra lovable!

— Triple down!

— I kinda hate this kind of nonsense, because Tomio is standing right there. He’s the goddamn teacher. But is he going to admonish Kaito for his bad behavior? Of course not.

— Apparently, Seiya thinks he’s atoning for a past mistake by persistently pursuing Minato. And right on cue, we get a flashback from ten months ago.

— Minato was brilliant back then. He would hit the center of the target with every arrow. He was in the zone. Not only that, he had fans simply because he wasn’t a spoiled rich kid. That’s, uh, something…

— All of a sudden, Minato started missing, but nothing that we’re seeing right now explains why Seiya is at fault.

— We quickly snap back to the present and see that the flashback was from Minato’s perspective. No wonder it didn’t tell us why Seiya is at fault. Hell, he might even be at fault at all. He might just think he is.

— Minato is still at the local kyudo range, and he asks the man what the latter intends to do after he’s doing firing 10,000 arrows. The man simply says that he would quit. Really? That’s hard to imagine.

— Minato then opens up about his mental hang-ups. He picked up archery just to hear that distinctive sound that comes from firing an arrow, but for some reason, it has disappeared from him.

— Finally, these two introduce themselves to each other. The other guy is named Masaki. It’s kinda weird that they interacted for this long without knowing the other person’s name.

— The soundtrack is so overbearing.

— Masaki proceeds to play sports psychologist, and he identifies the loss of self as Minato’s worst affliction. Why does he know so much? Obviously, he’s had target panic before.

— Okay, so Minato has to find himself. But where do we start? Do we have to start all the way from the beginning? Do we have the drag his domestic issues out into the open as well? After all, he’s still dealing with his mother’s death, and his father is never around. Could those play a factor in Minato’s loss of self?

— Meanwhile, Seiya is at home, waiting for Minato to return. He’s kinda like an annoying mosquito, huh?

— A f-feather? Are you cheating on me, Minato? Have you been seeing another man’s pet?!

— Dude, no lead-up or anything. Seiya just comes right out and says it. That’s so dumb. Yeah, I know you have target panic, and you don’t want to humiliate yourself in front of everybody… but how ’bout a tournament in front of everybody.

— Seiya then claims that no one will complain about the results. Yeah, tell that to Kaito, the resident jerk. You think if Minato misses the target even once, Kaito won’t be there harping on and on about how you need to be manly man to fire an arrow?

— I think the worst part is that Seiya isn’t even trying to understand Minato’s feelings. He’s just doing this to “atone,” i.e. he’s trying to assuage his own guilt. Now, if you want to talk about cowardly, there’s cowardly for ya.

— Finally, Minato fires back that Seiya didn’t offer any support back in middle school, so it’s too late now. So what does Seiya do? He goes, “When I get serious, I have no need for compassion?” Uh…

— What kind person would say something like this?

— Afterwards, Minato retreats to his room and cries into his pillow. But then he thinks back to his conversation with Masaki, who had revealed that he still hasn’t fully recovered from target panic. There’s no quick-fix solution. Again, this emphasizes that life is about the journey, not the destination.

— But then Masaki said something that made me roll my eyes: in order to cure his target panic, he needs a team. Give me a break.

— We finally get to see Minato’s father this week. They also make plans to visit his mother’s grave.

— I can’t tell what they’re eating at all.

— When Minato tries to pay the local kyudo hall yet another visit, he finds it brimming with people and activity. More importantly, a lady informs the main character that the person he’s looking for had actually passed away a year ago. She can’t be talking about Masaki. There’s no way. She’s probably referring to a family member with the same last name. I just can’t see this show having a supernatural element.

— Is it just me or does that the sound of the arrow firing not remotely resemble “tsurune”?

— At his mother’s grave, his father casually remarks that he wants his son not to live with regrets. So naturally, the kid visits the local kyudo hall once more. This time, he finds Masaki about to fire his 10,000th arrow.

— All of a sudden, Minato dashes forward and holds onto the guy. Man, the kid actually thinks he can see dead people.

— So yeah, the person who’s dead is actually Takizawa.

— Masaki then tells Minato to take the last shot. The kid does so, and he still misses. But like the man said, this is a process. You can’t cure target panic overnight. Moreover, the main character gazes at the bow in his hands, and he feels… he feels good. He doesn’t feel like an abject failure just because he missed the target completely.

— Minato thus turns to Masaki and says that he won’t quit kyudo either.

— Alright, so he’s pretty much going to join his school’s kyudo club in next week’s episode. But where does Masaki figure into all of this? After all, he’s one of the main character. Since he’s way too old to be a high schooler, the only other option is if he somehow ends up joining the club as their coach. Man, that would be predictably lame.

Well, this is unexpected. But wait, did Milla become Valery, was Valery always Valery? 

— So at the start of the episode, our heroes are on a stakeout. They’re trying to arrest a certain pack mule, but they haven’t had any luck whatsoever after five days.

— So the show takes a wild divergence and devotes nearly half an episode to a gag involving a cop show. Basically, a drunk guy on the streets gets a little too rowdy, so he starts ranting and raving about how he’s the leader of a crime syndicate. He also claims that he comes from up above, and that he needs to see the mayor. Sounds like just another idiot to me.

— Nevertheless, the cops want to dot their i’s and cross their t’s, so Doug and Kirill are called in to have a friendly chat with the drunken idiot. What happens here isn’t important. Rather, it’s what Kirill ends up spotting on the TV footage.

— You can say that again.

— Like the airhead that he is, Kirill is proud of the fact that he’s on TV, so he had his landlady tape the show. I’m amused that this universe still has black-and-white television. Not only that, everyone still uses something akin to VHS tapes.

— Anyways, while rewatching the cop show, Kirill spots a familiar face: his sister Milla — the same sister who disappeared from his life ten years ago!

— The next day, the show devotes yet another good chunk of the episode to another gag. This time, it’s at Kirill’s expense. Y’see, Doug also spot something important on the footage: the pack mule. As a result, he spent all night poring over security footage in order to determine the criminal’s whereabouts. Apparently, one of the richer cities in this universe has cameras everywhere, so Big Brother is always watching you. Kinda freaky.

— Unfortunately, Kirill foolishly thinks that Doug is talking about Milla. Dude, how would Doug even know what your sister looks like?

— So after we have a good laugh at Kirill’s expense, the unimportant pack mule is arrested and we can return back to the main topic at hand: Milla.

— But even with the help of Doctor Apple, who appears to be a voyeur of some sort, they still can’t determine where Milla went after she briefly appeared on the cop show.

— Still, Kirill is just happy to know that his sister is alive. Plus, this incident seems to have allowed for him and Doug to bond. The veteran astutely points out that Kirill isn’t bothered that his sister disappeared, but rather that she disappeared without him. Why did she leave her little brother behind?

— Well, the kid doesn’t have to wait long before bumping into Milla again. As luck would have it, she ends up being hired at Derick’s bar. Not surprisingly, her voice is rather unfeminine.

— Kirill’s too stunned to speak, so Deana volunteers to ask all the difficult questions. Of course, Milla dances around them. She may act as if it’s no big deal, but she’s obviously guarded about the past ten years.

— Kirill thinks back to his conversation with Doug, and ultimately decides that he’ll wait until Milla is comfortable enough to tell him everything. That’s touching, I suppose.

— Honestly, I wouldn’t wanna deal with Deana on a day-to-day basis, but just watching her on this show, she’s kinda fun and amusing. I also love her look at disgust when she realizes that Kay is crying.

— Now, I keep referring to her as a she, because up until now, we’re still under the assumption that Milla is still Milla. Plus, it’s not like the character ever tells us which pronoun to use.

— Anyways, after the credits, a groggy Kirill decides to take a piss before heading home for the day. And who should he find standing next to him at the urinals. Why, it’s Milla of course. But she then tells him that her real name is Valery Vrubel. But y’know, even back then, he (she?) looked rather androgynous. Hell, both siblings look androgynous. Maybe Valery always felt that she was a he, and because they had to live with such a mean, overbearing caretaker, Valery felt that they had to escape.

— But more importantly, does Valery have anything to do with the overall story regarding Anthem and Esperanza? I guess time will tell.

But things did get a lil’ kinky at one point for Rimuru. 

— The blacksmith isn’t salty at all that Rimuru could so easily duplicate his work. He simply swears that he’ll craft a sword so good that nobody will be able to copy. Everyone’s so nice.

— Man, this slime is gettin’ fresh with the ladies.

— So one of the girls decide to do a little fortune-telling, and of course, Rimuru is destined to end up with this generic-looking anime girl. Not only that, she apparently looks Japanese. If I had to guess, she’s probably that girl that we saw at the very, very beginning of the series. Anyways, I’m sure she’ll eventually join the party. The only question is when.

— In the meantime, we have to deal with the jerk who demanded 20 longswords in the first place. The minister decides to crash the party, thinking that the blacksmith won’t be able to fulfill the tall order. When he quickly learns, however, that he is mistaken, he instead decides to bully Rimuru.

— Well, the blacksmith doesn’t take too kindly to this, so he socks the minister right in the face. Honestly, this is a pretty bad look for the dwarf. Assault is assault, man. It’s also a pretty disproportionate response to the minister pouring beer onto Rimuru.

— The dwarf then tells Rimuru that he’ll gladly come and work for the slime. That sounds like good news, but the minister quickly has everyone arrested. Boy, no one could’ve seen that coming! I thought it was A-OK to punch people! Still, in the foreground, you can see the minister hamming his injuries up. In other words, you already know what’s going to happen next. Rimuru and his buddies will be falsely charged, there’s going to be a sham trial, yadda yadda yadda.

— Locked away in a jail cell — and Gobta is still sleeping — the blacksmith proceeds to tell Rimuru all about the bad blood between him and the minister. Ugh, who cares? Basically, he was from the peasant class, so the minister resented working beneath him. Some accident happen, and the blacksmith (back then, he was a captain in the army or whatever) took responsibility. As a result, he left the king’s service. Nevertheless, the minister still has it out for the dwarf. Shrug.

— Oddly enough, the blacksmith still insists that the minister is a good guy.

— So the day of the trial arrives, and we get to meet Gazel Dwargo, the hero king or whatever.

— And as predicted, this is a sham trial. Not only are Rimuru and his buddies not allowed to speak, but they’ve been assigned a defender who has been bought out by the minister. Plus, it’s not like they’re being judged by a jury of their peers. No witnesses are called either. This is a system that is potentially rife with corruption. Sure, as long as Gazel has a keen eye and a sharp mind, he can see through all the lies and deceptions. But justice should not heavily depend on a single individual. Not only that, if his successor isn’t up to snuff, well… you can kiss the kingdom goodbye. We see that all the time throughout history, don’t we? A great ruler will lead an empire to prosperity, but things always unravel when they die.

— Thanks to the sham trial, Rimuru and his buddies are initially sentenced to hard labor in the mines. But that’s when Gazel steps in. He asks if the blacksmith would ever consider serving under him again. When the blacksmith insists that he’s already sworn to serve Rimuru, Gazel does everyone a favor by exiling them. I guess that’s one way to do it. What sucks is that Rimuru and his buddies will lose access to this kingdom, but whatever.

— After the defendants have left the courtroom, Gazel turns his attention to his corrupt minister. Y’see, news of Rimuru’s amazing healing potion had reached the king, so he’s not pleased with the minister’s shenanigans. Also, he has been waiting for the guy to fess up to that accident in the past — the same accident that the blacksmith had taken responsibility for. Yadda yadda yadda, you suck, get outta my face. That sort of thing.

— Then for some reason, we get some sob story from the minister about how he’s been looking up to Gazel ever since he was a little kid. Boo hoo, he just wanted to serve his majesty. It’s a load of bull, because we just saw him spend all episode picking on a blacksmith. If all he really cared about was making his king proud, he wouldn’t have wasted so much time and effort on somebody he had already “defeated,” so to speak. I mean, the dwarf stepped down from his post as captain and became a blacksmith. What more do you want?

— Afterwards, we see Rimuru leave the kingdom with his new dwarf buddies. I don’t see Gobta with them, but I’ll just assume that the goblin is no longer tied up in that jail cell. I mean, I hope not.

— Meanwhile, Gazel reveals that he’s not such a friendly dude. At the very least, he’s not going to automatically assume that Rimuru is a good slime. To be fair, Rimuru is OP as hell. He wouldn’t be wrong to keep tabs on the slime.

— So how do I feel about this week’s episode. Ehhhh… I’m not going to pretend that I’m excited to see what happens every week. The story is moving so slowly. Oh man, we recruited artisans! What’s next? I hope we recruit an accountant to do our taxes and balance the budget!

It’s hard for me to dislike this show, because I just don’t take it seriously whatsoever. This week, Mia gets to transform, and both the resulting battle scene and her battle poses are goofy as hell:

You got this soft-spoken first-year high schooler who nevertheless insists that she’s tough as nails. It’s a contrast that makes me smile even though I don’t think the show is very strong overall. It’s going to be hilarious when all of them start fighting together. The rest of the episode is also full of silly interactions between the girls and their various personas. We’re up to three different versions of these girls running around now. For the main character, we have Asuka, Seriousuka, and Rootin’ Tootin Asuka. But she’s not alone, because Yu also has three flavors: Yu, Western Yu, and… sexy, seductive Yu? What exactly does Sexy Yu want? Why is she trying to lead the girls into different fragments? Well, that’s a question for another episode. It’s just funny how Asuka is so ditzy that she often gets swept up in the heat of the moment.

Storywise, we still have more questions than answers. Plus, it’s not though if these characters are very deep. Last but not least, these characters never really tackle their moral quandaries with much aplomb. I was hoping that Mia would end up questioning her ideas of justice. After all, Western Nana and Western Chloe might be bank robbers, but they’re only committing crimes in order to feed and house a bunch of orphans. So how exactly do you define justice, especially in the world that tries so hard to resemble the lawless West? Unfortunately, this aren’t questions that the story ever bothers to touch upon because it turns out that both the judge and the sheriff are Clutters. So, y’know, just beat them up and save the day.

Oh yeah, if you’re wondering why the girls keep diving headfirst into these fragments, you’re not the only one. Seriousuka has pretty much given up on trying to stop them.

Golden Kamuy 2 Ep. 4

At the same time, Golden Kamuy is also goofy, but for some odd reason, I’m losing my patience with the show. I guess it’s because I initially followed the series for its premise, which is sadly going nowhere fast. We gotta go pay Asirpa’s father a visit, right? Too bad Shiraishi got himself captured. Oh hey, they can save Shiraishi… whoops, it turns out he doesn’t wanna get saved, because he thinks Sugimoto’s going to kill him. Be that as it may, our heroes literally can’t break into prison and chat with Asirpa’s dad without the Escape King’s help. As a result, the story is kinda stuck spinning its wheels until they get that idiot back.

Meanwhile, Nikaidou gets a prosthetic leg that can shoot buckshot. Yeah… So why can’t I watch this show for the characters like I do with Akanesasu Shoujo? Because I don’t like most of these old geezers. I kinda like Sugimoto and Asirpa, but the girl barely has a role to play these days. Ah well.

Ken En Ken: Aoki Kagayaki Ep. 5

After five episodes, Yin and Zhao finally bump into each other, but it doesn’t appear as though they recognized each other. The girl kinda reacted, but maybe she couldn’t believe her own eyes? To be fair, it was in the middle of the night during a ferocious battle, so I guess I can’t blame them. Anyways, things are coming along as we expected. The Taibai Empire is still evil for evil’s sake.

Here, we see them pick on a poor woman and her child. Oh, I’m sorry. To say that the soldiers are picking on her is an understatement. That guy was about to flat-out murder the woman had Yin and Ning not stepped in. They probably would’ve murdered the child too, and for what? Nothing really. Nothing other than to be huge dirt bags.

Meanwhile, Zhao continues to serve the Empress, and his resolve is unwavering. A corrupt governor tries to buy his silence to no avail. The guy loves his imouto (as male characters are wont to do in anime), and she’s equally obsessed with him in return.

Last but not least, the two sisters are still trying to acclimate to the fact that they’re pretty much now rebels. If Yin is too hesitant to embrace her new role, then Ning is too gung-ho. Y’see, she’s all about murdering Imperials. She can’t get enough of it! Even the rebels are like, “Yo, we’re outnumbered. We should fall back and regroup!” And yet, the girl with two prosthetic arms is like, “Yo, we got this!” Needless to say, Ning’s “growth” is driving a wedge between her and Yin. This part was funny, though:

That’s not exactly the reaction I would expect after taking a life, but there you go.

Okay, I’m slowly beginning to learn these characters’ names, and King is the guy who desperately wants to land a job. As a result, it sounds like he’s been attending job fairs non-stop. When the other guys are busy running, he’s either applying to jobs or waiting nervously for good news to come his way. Unfortunately, the guy isn’t having much luck. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, and if you don’t come already equipped with top qualifications, then you better go back to the drawing board. But y’know what? Maybe luck doesn’t have anything to do with it. Maybe, as they say, you gotta make your own luck. After all, it would be insane to do nothing and expect different results. Unfortunately, when you’re busy looking for a job, it’s easy to fall into that trap. It’s easy to think that you’re trying your hardest when, in actuality, you’re just allowing time to pass by without beefing up your resume at all. I don’t really agree with Haiji’s tactics, but now more than ever, King should embrace the opportunity to compete in the Hakone Ekiden rather than being dismissive. After all, what has he got to lose? More importantly, what’s more impressive than an amateur runner working their way to the very top of the sport? Effort is attractive, kids. A recent paper even supports this conclusion.

As for everything else that happened this week…

— The boys are impressed with Prince’s speech at the end of last week’s episode. Too bad you have to get him really riled up in order for the kid to stand his ground. Otherwise, he’s a non-presence.

— So this guy is Shindo, and he’s really embracing the opportunity to run. And to everyone’s shock, the guy has a girlfriend. Why would that be surprising, though? He seems like a nice guy. His good attitude is also contagious.

— Lawyer Dude is still being obstinate, but he spends most of this week’s episode haranguing the Programmer. We learn that the latter isn’t actually taking Haiji seriously despite his willingness to run. So why is he participating then? For his health, apparently. He even confesses near the end of the episode that running makes him feel clean. Yeah, clean. I guess I can see it. You get a ton of fresh air, you feel rejuvenated once you get your stamina up, the wind can make your sweat feel cool and refreshing, etc.

— As for Kakeru, he won’t come out and say it, but he seems to be onboard with the whole running thing. After all, when everyone turns to him, he merely mentions that he would like to become a better speaker one day. Hey, just the fact that he’s not complaining about them running is progress enough.

— But of course, Kakeru still has his concerns. For instance, he thinks it’s too soon for the group to compete in a track meet. He thinks it should take a few more months before they’re ready. I don’t think he wants his newfound friends to get discouraged. They’ll be up against athletes who have been training for years, not just a few weeks. And if you lose badly in front of a crowd, well, you might feel defeated. I get where he is coming from. After all, look at the boys’ times. They’ve got a lot of work cut out for them.

— Naturally, Haiji doesn’t agree. He argues that running isn’t just for the chosen ones, i.e. the elites. For him, the marathon isn’t a lofty dream where you can go, “Oh look, we didn’t make it, but at least we tried! And that’s all that matters!” No, for Haiji, the Hakone Ekiden is the be-all and end-all of this journey, so the amateurs may as well face reality now. Know what you’re up against, and thus what you need to do in order to bridge the gap. Well, that makes sense, but how much of this mentality is fueled by the fact that this is Haiji’s last chance at competing in the marathon? After all, you can’t stay in school forever.

— Anyways, the training program is going to ramp up even harder. Haiji isn’t content to just steal these guys’ mornings; they’re going to start practicing in the evenings as well. RIP social life.

— Nice kicks.

— To nobody’s surprise, they don’t get a very good field to work with. But it’s just running, y’know? You don’t exactly need state-of-the-art training facilities in order to become a decent runner. Get some decent shoes, though.

— Haiji tells his boys that they can hurt themselves if they suddenly start running, but then he goes and orders them to start off with a one-hour run. Makes sense.

— And like previous episodes, Prince looks like a zombie once he has to physically exert himself.

— Unfortunately, stealing the guys’ evenings isn’t all that Haiji has in store for his team. At the end of the episode, he drops another bombshell on them: no one is allowed to work. That’s right, he will literally forbid them to work. He obviously had this in mind from the start. He just knew that it would’ve been a bad idea to be upfront about it. Imagine if Haiji had been honest right from the get-go: we’re going to jog 10km ever morning, jog more at night, and oh yeah, you can’t work. You’ll just have to depend on the allowance that we give you! Honesty might be the best policy, but not if you want to manipulate people.

— Needless to say, this pisses King off, so he storms off while people stare at him with their mouths agape. I dunno, I expected him to get really angry and yell at Haiji, but his reaction was actually pretty mild. Oh well, maybe something dramatic will happen in next week’s episode.

What a shocker. The main character keeps finding himself in situations where he has to yell out something embarrassing at school, huh?

— Sakuta is so lucky to have an anime girlfriend who doesn’t jump to conclusions. Not only that, she’s going to allow him to pretend-date Tomoe. What are we supposed to do without our romantic misunderstandings?!

— So… is this guy really not going to put on a shirt? How long would that take? Like five seconds?

— Basically, Tomoe reminds Sakuta of Kaede, so he can’t just leave her be. Yeah, yeah… pull the cheap imouto card.

— Speaking of Kaede, Mai also brought her a dress, and everyone thinks it’s totally kawaii and all that jazz. I find it terribly old-fashioned, don’t you? Shrug, I just can’t imagine any young person wearing an outfit like that.

— I wish I could relax like that cat.

— When Mai leaves at the end of the night, she hopes that nothing serious results from this pretend scenario. To ease her concerns, Sakuta promises his girlfriend that his heart belongs to her and her alone, but that’s probably not her only concern. C’mon, why beat around the bush? We all know there’s a good chance that Tomoe will fall in love with the main character. He might not like her back, but maybe he’ll have a hard time letting her down.

— After all, Sakuta has that anime main character syndrome where he feels compelled to help everyone with their problems. Take it too far and it resembles a mental illness.

— The next day, we learn that the guy who likes Tomoe is apparently a scumbag. I’m not exactly sure what we’re supposed to do with this information, though. Well, maybe Sakuta will want to change the school’s perception of him. This way, Tomoe can reject him without any issues. But like always, I doubt that it’ll be this simple.

— For a pretend date, Tomoe is taking this rather seriously. Meanwhile, Sakuta just has on some plain green shirt.

— Sakuta apparently doesn’t have a phone. Uh…

— Tomoe’s got issues. She stayed up late just because everyone else was doing the same. She stayed up late even longer in order to watch funny animal videos just because everyone else had already seen them. Talk about peer pressure. She cares too much what other people will think of her, but that’s what being a teenager is like. I can’t say I’m too surprised.

— Oh hey, they went to the aquarium for their date. What a shocker.

— I guess Tomoe used to be a country bumpkin, so she’s desperately trying to shed that image now. I mean, I could sympathize with her, but all I can think in my head is, “Oh lord, talk about first world problems…”

— Suddenly, we bump into a nervous-looking girl on the beach. Tomoe offers to help, but the girl initially refuses because… they belong to separate friend groups? I guess that sort of thing matters. I really don’t know. Yeah, sure, I used to be a teenager, but I never ran into these group dynamics. I did my own thing, and four years of high school went by in a flash. I just can’t imagine what it’s like to care this much about being popular, and which social group each person belongs to.

— Alright, the girl lost a strap, so Sakuta and Tomoe volunteer to help look for it. And because the girl got herself wet in the process of retrieving the strap, she ends up getting a cold. Yawn.

— These last two episodes are kinda disappointing, because I really enjoyed the banter between Sakuta and Mai. But you know how it goes: each new arc must feature a new girl, so the best girl has been completely shelved in order to make room for a character I don’t respect whatsoever. Both Tomoe’s personality and her problems are snooze-inducing. Okay, okay, Mai hasn’t been completely shelved, but I’m just saying… this is lame. Tomoe is lame.

— Well, we never have to worry about this, because anime characters are never ugly.

— I hate using the word vapid, but…

— …ugh.

— Tomoe doesn’t want anyone to ever hate her. Not a single person! Reminds me of a quote from The Office:

I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that al-Qaeda hates me. [pause] I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me.

What can I say? I just don’t think that this is a healthy mentality to have. The world is full of haters and trolls, man. Hell, some people think I’m just a hater.

— So in response to Tomoe, Sakuta confesses that even if the whole world hates him, as long as he has that one person who still needs him, he’ll be A-OK. Maybe he’s talking about Mai? But I mean, they just became official, so he’d be jumping the gun a bit. He might mean his sister, but I dunno…

— I guess they don’t like having big butts in Japan.

— Afterwards, Tomoe asks about Mai, but she seems skeptical that a celebrity would like Sakuta. Uh, lots of celebrities end up dating losers. Celebrities aren’t exactly the most well-adjusted people out there, especially child stars like Mai.

— Dude’s shirtless again. Is he always shirtless when he’s speaking to Mai? I remember him taking off his shirt when she came over to his place in the first episode as well.

— Oh right, I had forgotten that Rio likes Yuuma. I guess we’re already planting the seeds for when she becomes the focus of the story. It’s the same way Tomoe appeared halfway into Mai’s chapter.

— Saki, Yuuma’s girlfriend, then confronts Sakuta. After all, she still wants him to stay away from her boyfriend. Weird. I mean, if you have a problem with their friendship, maybe talk to your boyfriend about it. But that’s not all. She’s now also super suspicious about Rio. Great. So I’m guessing that when it’s Rio’s turn to tell her story, we’re going to see a lot more of Saki as well, huh? Boy, I can’t wait.

— Anyways, this slow-moving episode keeps trucking along from one Tomoe-related problem to the next. Now, we have Yuuma warning Sakuta about the first-year, because there are salacious rumors going around. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if the guy who got rejected started badmouthing her. He’s super popular, right? So stupid kids would easily believe his word.

— Ding ding ding.

— So what’s going to happen now? Will Sakuta take this personally because Tomoe reminds him of Kaede? Does he want to take care of Tomoe to make up for the fact that he couldn’t protect Kaede for her bullies?

— Yep, he’s taking it personally. And he’s even allowing this to affect his personal relationships. He returns to his apartment to find a message from Mai, but he decides against calling her back. Too much on his mind at the moment, I suppose.

— So when Sakuta goes to meet up with Tomoe, that popular guy walks up out of nowhere and starts being a real dick. Man, his ego really got bruised when she turned him down.

— What a fight for the ages.

— Meanwhile, Mai’s just silently observing.

— Y’know what’s weird? The whole Laplace’s demon thing on occurring for half of an episode. As a result, I hope to see more time loops in next week’s episode, and if we don’t, I’m going to be sorely disappointed. ‘Cause really, I started watching this show for the weird stuff like Mai disappearing from the world. And lemme tell ya, Tomoe’s arc has been real short on the weird.

— But then again, what exactly are we going to loop? What exactly will Tomoe want to get a do-over on? After all, she seems really impressed with Sakuta right now. She might even fall in love with him at this rate. Hell, even her best friend Rena now thinks poorly of that popular guy.

— Tomoe then confesses that she’s a virgin as well, but hell, I could’ve guessed that all on my own.

— I’m just waiting for the stinger. C’mon, what’s the stinger that will make us wanna watch the next episode?

— Right before the credits roll, Tomoe watches an ad featuring Mai and grimaces as a result. Maybe she’ll trap Sakuta in a loop until he falls in love with her over Mai. He shouldn’t have bothered to play along in the first place.

— To be fair, Sakuta has never led her on. He even told her outright that once this all blows over, he hopes that they can be friends. That’s right, just friends. So what exactly will our little demon cook up? This better be good, ’cause her story so far kinda sucks. Watching the main character humiliate the bully was kinda amusing, but the rest of the episode really failed to draw me in. Oh well, at least next week’s episode should wrap up Tomoe’s story.

Ash’s biggest problem isn’t protecting himself. It’s protecting Eiji. 

— So it didn’t take long for Ash to reunite with Eiji. After all, he’s super smart, so he just instantly knew where to find his lover.

— C’mon, are you really gonna pout? Now hug and kiss!

— It turns out Eiji eventually told Sing everything about the incident with Shorter, but Ash will have none of it. He claims that Sing’s gang will be in danger if they know the truth, so everyone should just continue pretending that Ash murdered Shorter out of cold blood. Well, have it your way, I guess.

— So now that we’ve taken care of the loose ends, it’s time for the sappy stuff.

— And boy does it get sappy:

— The problem with their relationship is twofold. First, Ash takes on a paternalistic role. He always sees Eiji as this vulnerable creature that needs to be protected. Hell, he’s probably right, but this has the effect of making Eiji feel inferior and useless. He doesn’t want to drag Ash down, so this brings us to the second point: Eiji can’t bring himself to be completely honest with Ash. He knows that Ash’s enemies will naturally target him, but he doesn’t want to admit it. Well, no relationship’s going to work without trust and open communication from both sides.

— Unfortunately for Ash and Eiji, Golzine and Yut-Lung are now going to team up. You scratch my back, I scratch your back. In other words, you kill my family, I kill your family. Kinda weird how that works, but whatever. Basically, Yut-Lung will help take care Golzine’s enemies in the Foundation, and this will help the old man solidify his influence.

— Meanwhile, Golzine will help Yut-Lung finally get his revenge on his half-brothers. He’s so screwed up in the head that he even wants their entire families wiped out. C’mon, do the kids really deserve to die? Aren’t they innocent?

— Then again, Yut-Lung’s just learning from his half-brothers’ mistake. They allowed him to live, and now he’s going to kill them. As a result, he’s probably telling himself that if he lets these kids live, it’ll eventually come around and bite him in the ass. He might as well wipe them all out.

— Last but not least, they both want Ash’s booty. They just understand, however, that they need a little more help with this. It’s been proven over and over that neither of these two organizations can keep Ash under their thumb for very long. They’ll need to resort to extreme measures. Luckily, Golzine has connections.

— Next, we see Ash and Eiji on a ferry. The former starts opening up about his mother and how she eventually abandoned him. Ever the optimist, Eiji tries to convince his partner that the woman must have loved him, because of… uh, his name. Yeah, she worked so hard to give Ash a good name, so she must have loved him! For me, actions speak louder than words. If she loved her son, she wouldn’t have abandoned him. It’s as simple as that.

— Yes, I know that some people can’t afford to raise a child. I understand why they need to give their children up. At the same time, however, you can’t convince me that those people also loved their children. Nuh-uh.

— Anyways, Ash and Eiji were going to meet up with Max and the rest, but then something starts spooking the main character real bad. Let’s just say that his sixth sense is kicking in.

— Normally, Ash would instantly identify his stalker. Unfortunately, Golzine hired someone so good at their job that the kid is having no luck. All he has is this unsettling feeling of paranoia, and it’s driving him nuts.

— Just a couple of fun boys eating hot dogs in New York.

— Elsewhere, Yut-Lung’s revenge kicks into high gear. One by one, top members of the Lee family are found dead. Oh well. Probably shouldn’t have degraded and murdered his mom.

— We eventually learn that Golzine had reached out to an assassin by the name of Blanca. The guy is supposed to be retired, but he’s so fascinated with Ash that he just has to take this job. Basically, our hero is so awesome that his own awesomeness will be his own undoing.

— All by himself (and his 200 IQ), Ash manages to dig up some really important information regarding Banana Fish and its origins. Unfortunately, he still needs to know more. So later that night, he goes to seduce a certain Senator Kippard. Y’know, the pedophile. Ash even has blackmail material to use on the dirty bastard. This is one of the few times that censorship is a good thing! Well, unless you like naked senator butts…

— Unfortunately, just as the senator was about to speak, Blanca assassinates the guy with a bullet right through the head. It is then revealed to us that this same guy had taught Ash everything that the kid knows. So there you go. Only his own master can take him down… maybe. We’ll see.

Even though the sports festival is coming up, this week’s episode is a tale of two halves. 

— In the first half of the episode, Romio wants something from his girlfriend. She initially thinks he’s talking about sex, but nope, he just meant a bento! Girl, get your mind out of the gutter!

— But seriously, are you going to go to your white girlfriend and ask for a bento? We don’t exactly do this sort of thing in the West.

— Well, sure enough, Juliet’s one of those love interests that can’t cook a lick. Anime characters are either brilliant at cooking or completely terrible at it. There’s no middle ground.

— Personally, if you’re bad at cooking, you either have no sense of taste, or you simply can’t follow directions.

— So in the end, Juliet presents Romio with this picnic basket full of food. At least she didn’t make a bento. In fact, she didn’t make it at all! But Romio is too gung-ho to taste the food that he didn’t even let her explain.

— And this is when the hijinks begin. First, a jealous Char “tricks” Romio into eating her shoe. I say “tricks” only because only someone as dumb as Romio would fall for this.

— Then she tries to abscond with the “bento,” but runs into an anime-only accident.

— So the picnic basket ends up near Scott, and as a result, he thinks it’s for him. This naturally ends up causing a fight between him and Romio.

— I don’t know, girl. I just don’t know.

— There’s some minor backstory for Scott, but who cares?

— In the end, the “bento” ends up in a pig pen (why is there a pig pen on campus?), and neither Romio nor Scott get to taste the food. Our hero is devastated, but his girlfriend finally gets the chance to confess that she can’t actually cook at all. Why didn’t she tell him this in the first place? Well, she wanted to seem perfect. Pfft, if she really wanted to be perfect, she needs to upgrade your boyfriend.

— Romio then gets her burnt cookies as a consolation prize, and well… they taste about as good as they look.

— Anyways, this boring bento trope needs to be flipped on its head already. I’ve always cooked for my girlfriends, so I don’t see why these boring protagonists can’t do the same. If you want a romantic moment to share with your SO, take the reins into your own hands. Make her a bento.

— Elsewhere, Scott gets punished by Char for, uh, some reason…

— Alright, time for the second half of the episode. So what’s so great about this sports festival anyway? What do you get for winning? Apparently, the MVP gets to make a special request. Right off the bat, Hasuki’s friends suggest that if she wins MVP, Romio should dance with her. Well, she knows that he has a girlfriend, but the problem is that he’s stupid. He’s so stupid that this is his idea of dancing. He’s so stupid that he gives her false hope.

— Meanwhile, Scott wants to win MVP so that he can dance with Juliet. When Romio overhears this, he gets pissed off. Same ol’ song and dance. Nothing surprising here.

— But then we are introduced to yet two new characters: Somali Longhaired and Aby Ssinia. Yeah, the White Cats are all named after cats. I guess I just didn’t notice until now. We have Juliet Persia, Chartreux Westia, Scott(ish) Fold… and I guess they just got lazy with Aby Ssinia. Damn, they didn’t even try.

— So what’s up with these guys? Uh, nothing worth talking about at the moment. Somali is in love with Aby, but Aby is in love with himself. Nevertheless, if he wins MVP, he would like for him and Juliet to start dating. Yeah, good luck with that.

— What about Romio, you ask? Does he want to win MVP as well so that he can dance with Juliet? Not yet. Throughout the episode, he’s been pissing and moaning on and on about how the sports festival sucks. But this is only because he lost it for his team least year. ‘Cause y’see, he’s an idiot, and he started running before the gun went off. But instead of just learning from his mistakes, Romio would rather pout and complain about the sports festival instead.

— I like how these dorks are all competing in their uniforms.

— But near the end of the episode, Juliet invites Romio to help her practice the three-legged race. He gets to be so close to her, it’s so special, blah blah blah.

— Then the girl reveals that she only did this to try and cheer him up. She’s been noticing his depressive moods lately, and she wanted to encourage him. Also, she’s going to try hard herself, because winning will give her influence, yadda yadda yadda.

— And just like that, Romio is motivated. Well, he’s motivated specifically because he gets to make one special request if he wins MVP.

— But that’s all for this week’s episode. We’ll have to check in next week to see who gets that stupid MVP.

— This could’ve been a cute romantic comedy, but Romio is so dumb that it’s hard to root for him.

Man, who knew obaachan could be such a wingwoman. Sounds like somebody wants great-grandchildren!

— “Fun with friends is what being young is about.” Anime storylines in a nutshell.

— So to celebrate the formation of the new club — the Magic Photography Arts Club, that is — Kohaku proposes that they throw a party at her place. Must be nice to have understanding parents.

— Apparently, our resident mage also doubles as a fortune teller, and she’s quite popular. Check out this long line, though. No wonder the school is exasperated with her.

— I’m disappointed, though: she’s not even wearing a silly costume or anything.

— So Asagi and Kurumi drop by to have their romantic fortunes told. If you have to ask this question, then you already know that the outlook is not so hot. But let’s face it: Sho has been trending towards Hitomi whether she wants this or not.

— Geez, just spell it out, why dontcha?

— Asagi’s dad has a silly moustache.

— Well, Sho and Asagi are childhood friends, so he probably just never even thought of her in that way. He probably only sees her as a little sister or whatever, and this is why he can be so comfortable around her. This is where that dreaded C word comes into play: communication, communication, communication. It’s the 21st century, man! There’s nothing wrong with a woman asking for what she wants! Unfortunately, modern attitudes don’t always match up with old-fashioned sensibilities. I bet she wants him to notice her feelings or whatever lame romantic nonsense that people still believe in. But look, you gotta play in order to win the game. You can’t score if you never take a shot.

— With that being said, Hitomi isn’t really a rival, because 1) our heroine doesn’t have any feelings for Sho (at least not at the moment) and 2) again, Asagi hasn’t made any moves.

— Speaking of Hitomi, this outfit makes her look like an adult. Well, not that I’m complaining. School uniforms don’t do anything for me.

— So our heroine has to watch the shop while her obaachan goes out to look for an ancient magic text. We’re told that Hitomi’s presence has made Kohaku focus even harder on her studies, which is great. But what does this mean for the future? Will this change how things play out when she grows up and becomes an adult? Or have we created two different timelines? Actually, you know what? It’s best not to take these time-traveling stories too seriously.

— As soon as Hitomi tells herself that she needs to do her best, Yuito shows up. The shop is empty too, so the two of them get to hang out alone. Talk about magic…

— The girl can’t help but ask about Yuito’s next drawing, but he hasn’t had much inspiration lately. He thus jokingly wonders if there’s star-sand that would help him out in that regard. He ends up telling her that he’s just “musing,” but that’s not going to stop Hitomi from fulfilling her quest.

— Afterwards, Hitomi confides in Kohaku about her new objective, and the latter suggests making her own magic-infused star-sand. A personal touch makes it ever the more romantic, but of course, Hitomi is oblivious on that front.

— Our heroine didn’t use to be interested in magic at all. Hell, she flat-out stated early on that she didn’t like magic. And yet, we now see her willingly embrace a magic-related challenge without pause. This is the same girl who was afraid to sit down and paint a picture for fun, so in a way, Hitomi has made a  lot of progress. And like I said, Kohaku’s not blind. She can tell that Yuito is the catalyst.

— Grandparents can be so embarrassing.

— This show is full of meaningful moments of silence. The next day, Sho and Yuito come across Hitomi trying to use a vending machine for the first time. When the girl finally leaves with her drink, Sho goes, “She’s quite the character, that girl.” But Yuito doesn’t respond. Instead, the show just lingers on his face as he stares off into the distance. What is he thinking? Why does he look so serious?

— After Sho gives Hitomi a quick tutorial on how to use the darkroom, the girl asks if she could also practice her magic here. Like Kohaku, the guy notices that her attitude towards magic has done a near 180, but he doesn’t know why. Hitomi earnestly replies that she’s motivated by the fact that her magic could make someone happy, and this only serves to impress Sho even more. Yeah…

— I guess I’m just dreading the eventual drama between him, Hitomi, and Asagi. You know it’s coming, too. Between the fortune telling nonsense and all those moments of Asagi looking sad in previous episodes, we’re in for an awkward moment between those three (and their onlooking friends). What makes this even more ridiculous is that our heroine doesn’t have any feelings for Sho. And if you wanna get technical about it, she doesn’t really have feelings for anyone at the moment. Yeah, she’s drawn to Yuito, but only because she can see colors in his drawings. That in and of itself doesn’t mean anything yet. So to rope her into a love triangle would be so silly because she’s simply not a willing participant. Hell, she’s not even aware that she’s a participant.

— Screwing up a spell is like burning a dish, I guess.

— Elsewhere, we see Yuito working hard on his next drawing, but he’s still having no luck. Is there a name for this like writer’s block? Artist’s block?

— The next day, Asagi is the first to arrive to the party, and as a result, Hitomi gets to listen to the girl open up about her friendship with Sho. Boy, this will just make the eventual fallout even worse! I hope Asagi won’t feel as though Hitomi is betraying her if Sho ends up liking our heroine. I mean, I hope not, but this is always a possibility.

— I do like the fact that these characters seem to have a new outfit to wear everyday. It’s so lame when anime characters just wear the same clothes over and over.

— Looks like Hitomi was eventually successful in whipping up her own star-sand. So it’s not quite making the guy a bento, but the girl still had to “cook” something up for Yuito.

— Hitomi set up all these dainty tea cups, and Asagi brought rabbit-shaped cookies for the party. As for the rest? Gyoza, french fries, and a whole bunch of other fried foods. I just think the contrast is funny, but I gotta give them thumbs-up on this one. I’m not very keen on tea and biscuits. Gimme those gyoza.

— Midway through the party, Hitomi leaves to wrap her star-sand up. Gotta make it pretty for the guy, after all. But honestly, a jar is way more practical than some silly bag.

— When Hitomi is too embarrassed to hand her gift over to Yuito in front of everyone, Kohaku comes up with a plan to isolate those two. This is too amusing.

— Midway through their juice-buying adventures, Yuito takes Hitomi to see a nice view of the city. Eh, what can I say? It’s a city. But to these anime characters, it is one amazing spectacle. And as a result, this is the perfect moment for Hitomi to hand over her star-sand.

— It sounds like Yuito has been thinking about her problem a lot. Like us, he doesn’t understand why his drawings would be so special to Hitomi either.

— Y’know, this could inadvertently backfire on the girl. I can easily imagine Yuito not taking Hitomi’s feelings seriously at some later point in the series, because he might assume that she’s only paying attention to him in order to get something in return.

— Plus, maybe he doesn’t want to deal with all this pressure.

— Or Yuito could just be a nice guy and roll with the punches. We’ll see.

— Meanwhile at the party, Sho can’t help but talk about Hitomi even though she’s not there. He’s going on and on about how our heroine has him all motivated to seize his future! He then tells Asagi to step it up, which really pisses the girl off. She also resents the fact that he seemingly went all out for this party just for Hitomi and Hitomi alone. It doesn’t really matter if this is true or not. What matters is that she feels hurt and neglected by her best friend ever since the new girl showed up. Asagi eventually storms away from the table, and sadly, Sho doesn’t even bother to chase after her. Kinda weird for childhood friends, don’t you think?

— But it’s one of those situations where everyone’s at fault. It’s one of those situations where everyone is annoying in their own way. Asagi doesn’t communicate her feelings clearly, but at the same time, Sho is not even trying to understand why his best friend is so hurt. Meanwhile, Kurumi calls him a blockhead, but she doesn’t try to help clarify the situation either. Just a bunch of immature kids and their hurt feelings.

— Ultimately, Kohaku is the one to step aside and help mend Asagi’s feelings. Way to go, club prez.

— Our resident mage and fortune teller gives the sad girl a pep-talk. She assures Asagi that we are all ultimately responsible for our own futures, so nothing is set in stone. Plus, Hitomi doesn’t even like Sho, and it takes two to tango. I know strong emotions are usually irrational, but if Asagi would just pause and think for a second, she should realize that even if Sho goes for Hitomi, it’s not like he would automatically win her heart.

— Apparently, this box contains every single failed batch that Hitomi tried to cook up. Kohaku then gets in trouble, because Hitomi had used up all of the ingredients. I guess she should’ve known better.

— In the end, Asagi accepts that she needs to change and become more courageous, so she tells Sho that she’s thinking of making those rabbit-themed postcards. Sho had suggested this earlier in the episode, but she refused out of embarrassment. As for her and Sho, well… that is going to take a little more work.

— Still, it’s kinda awkward how those two just made up without anyone apologizing to each other.

— After everyone leaves, obaachan and her granddaughter are punished together. After all, family has to stick together.

— In the privacy of his room, Yuito uses Hitomi’s star-sand, and what he ends up seeing is very reminiscent of what Hitomi saw when she gazed at his last drawing. In a way, I guess this helps him understand her a little better.

— But all of a sudden, the golden fish disappears into his drawing pad. It’s a cool scene… that kinda ends abruptly. Still, you have to wonder what that golden fish is supposed to represent. What did Hitomi accidentally end up saying through her magic?

Look at the Guild Lady blush when her friend teases her about Goblin Slayer. Don’t forget that this is still a pseudo-harem just because we spent an episode murdering goblins. Hell, I’d be surprised if the show didn’t introduce yet another hot babe real soon.

— Naturally, you need to pass your promotion exam in order to raise your rank, and it sounds like Priestess is about to move up. What’s on the promotion exam? Oh, probably basic questions like, “Should you idiotically march right into a dungeon at level 1?”

— Speaking of hot babes, Childhood Friend wants to know if Goblin Slayer’s okay, because when he came back from his last quest, he slept for three days straight. He probably felt uncomfortable that he had to kill something that wasn’t a goblin. Ugh, I’ve tainted the purity of my genocide…

— After the OP, we get to watch a pair of newbies struggle with giant rats in the town’s sewer systems. Sure, that sounds like a basic RPG quest. At the same time, if you need to depend on the good graces of adventurers to clean up your sewer system, you’re pretty boned.

— They then freak the hell out when giant bugs come to feast. Man, screw living in this world. Step outside and you get kidnapped and abused by goblins. Stay inside and deal with giant vermin.

— Elsewhere, we see our hero assisting Childhood Friend with unloading her dairy-related cargo in the city. As soon as she steps out of the picture, Elf Girl, Dwarf Guy, and Lizard Man show up to bother Goblin Slayer. Look, he’s made new friends! And they’re here to bug him because that’s what friends do! Doesn’t that just melt your heart! It’s character development to go from giving one-word answers to one person at a time to now three!

— So what’s the dealio? Nothing important: Lizard Man just wants some of Goblin Slayer’s cheese. The way this episode has unfolded thus far, it looks like it’s going to be chockful of silly nonsense like what we just got. Oops, I’m sorry, I meant characterization, ’cause the Lizard Man likes cheese!

— I’m sure fans of the manga have different names for these characters, but I don’t really care. Elf Girl works fine enough for me.

— Meanwhile, despite her rant at the end of last week’s episode, Elf Girl would, um, not totally mind it at all if Goblin Slayer, like, came with them to survey some ruins. L-look, it’s not like she’s asking him to join the party or anything!

— Oh lord, Slow Witch is back. We’re going to be here forever.

— The woman then proceeds to dig into her cleavage for like five whole seconds to pull out this rather large candle. Is it large in and of itself? No, but it was tucked in her cleavage.

— What’s the candle for? Well, that newbie lost his sword in the sewers, and he thought he might ask his senpai to borrow a spare one. But of course, big manly adventurer dude is like, “Buddy, you can’t even handle my equipment, aight?” So instead, the newbie gets a candle. Shrug.

— So you can buy scrolls from a blacksmith? Hm, you’d think a show this dependent on DnD and traditional RPG mechanics would have Goblin Slayer buying scrolls from, well, some sort of magic vendor.

— Sniff, our 15-year-old adult Priestess is growing up right before our very eyes.

— Is every single one of these female characters going to blush around Goblin Slayer in this week’s episode? Yes, yes they will.

— Meanwhile, the newbies are still in despair. They haven’t found much luck.

— In the background, we get to watch two higher-ranked adventurers spar. At least she’s holding her shield the right way.

— Eventually, the newbies go to the guild for help, and the Guild Lady suggests asking another adventurer to help them out. Too bad these same newbies were dicks to Goblin Slayer in the past. Honestly, I doubt the hero is the type of guy to hold petty grudges, and even the Guild Lady agrees. He’s got a large enough grudge for goblins anyway. But therein lies the problem: even if these newbies were brave enough to ask for his help, would he bother to assist with a non-goblin slayin’ mission? Check the name, kids. What does it say? Does it say Rat Slayer to you? Does it say Bug Slayer to you? No, it says Goblin Slayer!

— They don’t ask him to join them anyways. They just ask him for tips, and he keeps going on and on about how to kill goblins.

— Guild Lady has a new job for Goblin Slayer, but he immediately goes to leave as soon as he learns that it isn’t goblin-related. I guess she also needs to check his name.

— You already know the answer to this question! Why are you wasting my time, woman!

— Goblin Slayer would totally be that NPC in GTA that bugs you constantly about goblin-related quests. Cousin, it’s Goblin Slayer! Let’s go murder goblins down by the local dank pit!

— Anyway, the guy finally relents and hears the Guild Lady out. You need an observer for promotion exams, I guess.

— Meanwhile, the newbies are back in the sewers after having no luck procuring a spare weapon. All they’ve got going for them is the titty candle and a club.

— Looks like the club is good enough for now.

— So we get to sit in on one of these promotion exams, and this elf guy isn’t doing so hot. He sounds like a loser anyway.

— I like how the guild has regulations against stealing the contents of a treasure chest and backstabbing your fellow adventurers, but nothing to prevent newbies from getting their asses murdered by goblins.

— We cut back to the newbies in the sewers, and the titty candle appears to have led them right to a whole bunch of giant bugs. Thanks a lot, Slow Witch.

— With nowhere to run, the guy decides to stand his ground and fight back. He chucks the titty candle at the bugs, which creates a large magical fire…? Then after the girl casts one spell, the guy goes to town on a single giant bug. He seems pretty confident that it must have his sword somewhere inside of its body. Really, in its body. What kind of bug is dumb enough to eat a sword? The ones in this universe, I guess.

— Meanwhile, back where it probably doesn’t smell so bad, we get more of the Guild Lady blushing around Goblin Slayer. Not that he cares, of course. I doubt he has an ounce of sexual desire in his body. Too traumatized by having to watch his sister get used and murdered in front of him. Sex would probably just trigger him, and I’m not even being sarcastic.

— After the hero leaves, the Guild Lady laments that she had to kick the other adventurer out of town, ’cause the world could use more help. Even from losers like that guy, I guess. It just feels weird to hear about these two talk about Lawful Good and Chaotic Evil. Yeah, they’re DnD conventions, but in-universe characters shouldn’t be talking about them.

— “Justice is not about striking down evil, but making people aware that evil exists in the world.” Your justice sucks.

— Sword Maiden, huh?

— Oh come on, her sword has the scales of justice built into the hilt? That’s dumb. Not only that, she appears to blind. Get it? Justice is blind? Oh man, you’re so clever, anime!

— Guild Lady then admits to her friend that she totally likes Goblin Slayer… as if that’s a surprise. But even she has to admit that maybe he’s a little too stoic.

— We soon cut to a party. Apparently, the guy got his sword back from the abdomen of that giant bug, and that’s worthy of a celebration. I guess the titty candle didn’t lead him and his friend astray after all. Where’s his red-headed partner, though? Hmmm…

— All of a sudden, Goblin Slayer returns and tells the Guild Lady that he’s about to leave on a new quest. That Sword Maiden we just talked about? Yeah, she wants that goblin slayin’ booty. See? I knew this week’s episode would introduce yet another hot babe who desperately needs our hero’s help. I just fear having to find out why she’s blind. It’s also curious why a heroine who once slew a demon lord would need an adventurer’s help with goblins. Knowing this show, it’s probably because goblins have had her booty. Bleh.

This is why you spend the first two seasons gathering all these haremettes, folks. The girls are now pulling out all the stops to help save Kirito’s soul. But seriously, wouldn’t it be hilarious if Asuna and company eventually have to gather around his body and pray for his soul? These five girls make up the Lament Configuration of Kirito’s Former Warrior Princesses Turned Moe Blobs. Only together can they open a portal into an MMO and summon forth the Dark Lord of Harems into our world. Hell, the MMO is even called the Underworld. It all adds up!

— Oh hey, the episode opens with a blast from the past. Y’see, Death Gun tried to kill Asuna in the same exact way again, and in both occasions, Kirito had to save her. It’s like poetry. It rhymes.

— So we finally get to see what had happened after the attack. Kirito was rushed to the hospital, and all Asuna could do was wait. I’m guessing that at the end of every chapter, we’ll take an intermission and pay the real world a visit.

— See? She jinxed him. If she hadn’t bothered to get this heart rate monitor, nothing bad would’ve happened to the guy! Her punishment is to now stare at the heart rate monitor with a concerned look on her face for the rest of this arc !

— We’re then told that although Kirito is no longer in critical condition, he now has brain damage. Pfft, tell me something I don’t already know, doc.

— He may never even regain consciousness! Pull the plug, Asuna! Just pull the plug! I can’t bear to see our great hero Kirito like this! He deserves to leave this world in a dignified manner!

— A guy in a suit eventually shows up and tells Kirito’s family and Asuna that they must put Kirito’s life in his hands. In other words, the government’s hands. Is the show going to try and seriously tell me that sticking Kirito in an MMO is the only way to prevent brain damage? Really? Really?

— And as a result of Kirito being strapped into an MMO, no one can see him. His aunt was just outside parking her car, right? So she couldn’t see him either? They basically signed away their rights to the guy completely? Welp.

— We soon cut to Asuna and Suguha meeting up with the rest of Kirito’s haremettes. I almost thought Sinon wasn’t in attendance, but I forget that she looks considerably lamer outside of GGO. This is what happens when a tough, self-sufficient girl falls in love with Kirito. They just get to sit on the sidelines and worry like the moeblobs that they are.

— Oh no, what a conspiracy — Suguha tells the rest of the harem that the ambulance carrying Kirito never even made it to the next hospital. Where did they take him? Where could he be?!

== Girls, girls… the guy just needs a break from his harem, aight? We all need a break from hot anime babes every now and then. Hell, it’s even No Nut November right now. Kirito’s just in an MMO gaming marathon, munching on pizza and drinking Mountain Dew. Relax!

— It doesn’t take Sinon long to put two and two together: Kirito must be hooked up to that soul thingamajig. What a smart girl. Is she the smartest girl in Kirito’s Harem? She also has gun powers.

— Having said that, I think it’s pretty sad that a bunch of civilians could sit around and pretty much sniff out Kirito’s location. Way to cover your tracks, secret government dudes.

— Also, Asuna can use the heart rate monitor to track her boyfriend’s location. That’s hilarious. We’re literally uncovering government’s secrets by being a clingy girlfriend.

— Oh lord, she’s back. The magical MMO loli is back.

— Pfft, she’s pinpointing her daddy’s location, she says. I totally forgot that she thinks of Kirito and Asuna as her parents. My sides… fucking RIP.

— Kowalski, analysis!

— Kirito’s life signals disappeared around Minato Ward, so that’s exactly where Asuna is headed. Good thing our hero has a trusty male sidekick that his haremettes can rely on.

— Meanwhile, the other girls apparently having nothing better to do, so they’re going to sniff around Roppongi.

— Suguha tells us that they couldn’t dig up any information about the soul thingamajig. I’m shocked! Why wouldn’t the government officially patent its super secret technology!

— The other group eventually checks in and informs Asuna that Roppongi is a dead end. So is Kirito’s lifeless husk of a body hidden somewhere here? Not so fast, my friends! Yui tells her “momma” that a helicopter might have carried her “daddy” away.

— The characters wonder if Kirito might have been taken overseas, but I doubt he’s in another country entirely. A helicopter doesn’t have that kind of range. He’s probably stuck in some mysterious government base just some distance away from the Japanese islands. Still, Klein’s right. If the haremettes need to fly just to get to Kirito, then they’re outta luck.

— Welp, time to pray for his soul! Oh Dark Lord of Harems, First of all Gary Stus…

— Yui reminds Asuna to never give up, ’cause he never gave up on her! Sure, he might have taken his sweet time rescuing his girlfriend from her would-be rapist, but hey, she never got raped, did she? Yeah, I didn’t think so! And now it’s her turn to rescue him from getting ra–… wait…

— It all comes back to the bastard who created SAO. It’s like we’re playing Six Degrees of Akihiko Kayaba.

— Basically, a woman by the name of Rinko used to work closely with Kayaba (probably his lover or something). Kirito’s Harem might not be able to come anywhere close to this mysterious government facility, but maybe this lady can.

— Department of Microwave Engineering? C’mon…

— We soon cut to Rinko sitting in her home, looking over her emails. That shady dude in a suit had reached out to her, so this basically guarantees that this lady will be able to help Kirito’s Harem out. Again, the government does an amazing job at covering its tracks. It’s telling that only the Lament Configuration of Kirito’s Moe Blobs and their magical MMO loli could possibly crack this case.

— Oh lord, I was just joking about the lover thing, but she and Kayaba were in a relationship. She’s not over him either. Well, maybe she can find his digital ghost somewhere in all these dumb MMOs that have spawned as a result of his “World Seed.” Yeah, that’s also what I call my semen. It’s the world seed, baby!

— I’m also still pretty ticked that people continue to idolize this dude. He trapped a bunch of kids in a game! He’s an accomplice to murder! This guy is a monster!

— I love it when pillow talk is about MMOs. Mmm, tell me more, daddy! Tell me how many children are going to die in your virtual death dungeon!

— So what does Asuna do? She sends Rinko an email. Please, ma’am… please help me resurrect the Dark Lord of Harems.

— And just like that, Rinko is in a helicopter to go see Kirito.

— So, uh, this is the secret facility where all the crazy MMO shenanigans are happening. Why does it have to look like that?

— Whoa, I thought the blonde lady was a new character, but she sounds like Asuna. I guess we’re going undercover, which is of course ridiculous. Normally, when you have a top secret government base out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, you do an extensive background check on every single person who steps foot onto said base. You don’t just go, “Oh, who’s this new person you got there? Oh yeah, your assistant? WELL COME ON ABOARD! IT’S ALL GOOD. MI CASA ES SU CASA!”

— Not only that, Asuna is able to fool some device that can totally verify your identity. I bet she relied on the powers of her magical MMO loli. The government is so good at covering its tracks.

— So what are we doing here at this top secret government base in the middle of the Pacific Ocean? We’re playing an MMO. Dope, right?! I bet y’all are so jealous! Well, make yourself at home! Pizza and Mountain Dew are in the back.

— Asuna doesn’t waste any time either. She immediately reveals herself before even bothering to verify that Kirito is here. I mean, sure, there’s a 99% chance he’s here. But she could’ve waited and see what would happen next!

— Oh lord, it turns out that they did do a background check on Rinko’s assistant, but not a very good one. For instance, all they did was grab a photo of the woman off of her university’s database, which — unbeknownst to these brilliant government dudes — had already been replaced by Asuna’s face. Not only that, Asuna’s face didn’t trigger an alert for her actual identity or anything? Amazing. Amazing job, government dudes.

— The episode finally ends with Asuna demanding to know where Kirito is. But why would they bother to help her? Now that they know she’s here, why wouldn’t they just instantly remove her from the base? What is she going to do? Pull out her sword and attack then? Pfft.

— But honestly, this episode definitely feels like the old, stupid SAO that we all know and love. The tree-chopping nonsense from the last few episodes is just so boring by comparison. On the other hand, patented SAO idiocy is second to none.

But it might as well be one. Too bad the hot one is so crazy. 

— So the kids are going rafting, which is a first…? I honestly can’t remember if I’ve seen anime characters go rafting in any other show. It just seems so random.

— Do they really not notice the thick fog? Is it scenery to them like the giant kaiji?

— When Yuta closes his eyes, he sees what appears to be memories, but whose memories? This looks like someone beating defeated by a drill, so I expect Gridman to be able to pierce the heavens in no time flat.

— Lately, Yuta has been staring at Rikka a lot. She’ll notice him and stare back, but nothing ever seems to result from these interactions. Like I said in last week’s post, we’ll probably have to wait until the last or second-to-last episode before the guy finally confesses to her (again?).

— I like how Sho’s physique is considered pudgy. All “curvy” Americans are like, “Hold my beer…”

— What’s happening here? Oh, just buddies rubbing lotion on each other. Skinship! It’s called skinship! And of course, the girls have to do the same.

— It’s almost like touching a boob! And in a way, Sho is a boob! In the end, Rikka abstains but Akane gets a turn, so he’s suddenly okay with all the bad touch.

— Again, rafting just feels so random.

— Also, these scenes practically have no animation to them. We get nothing but still shots accompanied by a chorus of giggling girls. Oh, don’t forget Yuta blatantly staring at Rikka at every opportunity. I guess Trigger needed to save time and money with this week’s episode. Then every once in a while, they sprinkle in some fanservice to placate the viewers.

— Akane is not a fan of any sort of physical activity. Hell, she’s probably not even a fan of going outside. But I mean, what is she going to do? Use a kaiju to murder nature? Actually, I wouldn’t put it past her.

— During a lull in the action, Yuta and Akane get the chance to have a conversation. He thinks they’re just having small talk, but in actuality, she’s really complaining about Gridman. At this point, she pretty much knows that he’s been the persistent thorn in her side. I’d be surprised if she didn’t. Too bad Yuta and his friends are nowhere close to figuring out who they’re up against.

— Oh come on, how do you hide your bulky phone in there without arousing suspicions?

— We haven’t even reached the halfway point of the episode, but Akane is already unleashing her kaiju. Unfortunately, Yuta is nowhere near Rikka’s junk shop.

— It looks like someone’s about to murder nature all because she was forced to go outdoors. Still, the fact that our kaiju is a big mountain means we already have a solution for tackling it: a drill.

— Rikka’s mom’s voice is kinda annoying. But anyways, the Neon Genesis Junior High Students, a.k.a. Gridman’s weapons, are still chilling out at the woman’s junk shop. It looks like they haven’t been alerted about the kaiju attack at all.

— Once again, Rikka finds herself caught between two worlds. Yuta needs to call Max to bring the computer all the way out here, so he and Sho are going to risk their lives by running to retrieve their phones. Yuta even tells Rikka to evacuate with her friends. The girl ultimately decides to accompany her team, i.e. the Gridman Alliance, but at some point, she might give up. She might feel as though she doesn’t really contribute all that much to the team and ultimately decide to become yet another bystander.

— Hell, she and Sho are arguably just bystanders these days. Remember when Sho assisted with the battle strategy, and Rikka had to relay those strategies by typing them out to Gridman? As silly as that was, I’m kinda bummed that those two don’t have much of a role to play anymore.

— Elsewhere, Akane is surprised that Gridman hasn’t shown up yet, but gathering information is probably her primary aim today. Sure, she would love to defeat Gridman right here and now, but let’s be reasonable: it’d be far more prudent just to focus on studying your enemy for now. So first up, Akane need to figure out how Yuta even manages to transform into Gridman in the first place. The obvious conclusion here is that her rival can’t easily show up in the middle of nowhere. Hell, Akane might even figure out that our hero needs the computer to go to battle.

— The boys eventually come across a payphone, but they don’t know the number to Rikka’s junk shop. Luckily, she had been following them. She’s surprisingly out of shape for someone who doesn’t look out of shape. I guess she’s what you call “skinny fat.”

— Even though there’s an emergency, you can’t steal. As a result, Max offers to buy the computer before dragging it all the way out to Yuta. But c’mon, there’s no way that hunk of junk costs 37,429 yen.

— When Akane’s path is blocked by a landslide (of her own making), she kinda just pouts and gives up. Luckily for her, Anti had followed her all the way out here for some reason. He then offers to give his master a piggyback ride. Convenient.

— The boys are also cut off from the main path. They need to take a detour, but poor Rikka can barely keep up as it is. She finally decides to throw in the towel… at least for this week’s episode. But I get the feeling that the story is trending towards her quitting the Gridman Alliance at some point. Oh, I’m sure Yuta will convince her to return, but even so…

— Interesting angle, though. This isn’t the first time Rikka’s butt has taken up a good chunk of the screen.

— So uh… I’ve been meaning to ask… is that character all the way to he right a girl or a guy?

— Despite taking a tumble, Yuta still manages to make his way to the train station. He’s just half-naked and covered in scratches.

— Gridman unfortunately informs Yuta that he can’t make himself as large as the kaiju-of-the-week, but this is where… um, this guy/girl comes in. Hey, it makes sense. Make the twintail character a drill. Two drills, actually.

— This isn’t your dad’s power drill either. Borr comes equipped with fire-extinguishing missiles. Amazing.

— As soon as Gridman appears, Anti lets Akane down so that he can go and pick yet another pointless fight. He gallantly hands his scarf over to Akane, but too bad it stinks.

— The kaiju-of-the-week really does dwarf Gridman. I also don’t know why he’s fighting without Borr, but I guess we have time to kill until the episode ends.

— Anti just does the same goddamn move every week. Luckily, Borr helps out by gluing Anti to the ground with sticky missiles. We pretty much have a missile for every situation.

— Finally, Gridman combines with Borr and gains two massive drills. Our hero isn’t the only person here with new toys to play with, though. Anti soon shows off his own ability to copy Borr’s missiles. It’s all about missiles this week. We have a hard-on for missiles this week. Anti’s missiles don’t manage to accomplish anything, but it’s the thought that counts.

— So, uh, the drills don’t actually get to do any drilling. Lame.

— And just like that, the kaiju-of-the-week is defeated. Anti is still throwing a tantrum, but a giant clump of dirt quickly shuts him up. Even Akane is just nonchalant despite eating yet another loss at the hands of Yuta and Gridman. It’s as if she expected to lose, but again, it’s okay because she got the information that she needed. She quickly runs off… probably to rejoin her class and pretend to be innocent.

— I’m disappointed too, Borr. I’m disappointed too.

— In the aftermath, when Rikka goes to meet up with Yuta, she spots Anti staring at them in the distance. I guess we can expect these two to interact in future episodes. I wonder how that’s going to play out.

— Rikka’s friends suddenly show up just to tease her for running around with the boys. As for Sho, he is worried about Akane. Meanwhile, these rocks continue to just float there. We have some cleaning up to do.

— On the train ride home, Max wonders why these incidents seem to revolve around the three kids at the center of the Gridman Alliance. Well, we know why. Their classmate Akane is psychotic. But man, this sure is one slow-developing show for something that is only going to be one-cour long. We’re still no closer to understanding why Akane is so mad, why Alexis is helping her, Alexis’s true aims, how the powers that be keep managing to cover these incidents up, the cause of Yuta’s amnesia, whether or not it’s possible to bring back all those lost lives, so on and so forth. Maybe I need to watch other Gridman-related media to understand everything? God, I hope not. That would be lame.

No, don’t! 

— So the good guys must first liberate Orleans, but they don’t have enough troops on their side. Charlotte is just pouting instead of taking the reins as the ruler that she supposedly is. As a result, it falls upon Richemont to return to Brittany and ask for her brother’s help. Unfortunately, it seems as though her brother is more concerned about his harem than ending this war with France still intact.

— Who knew a dude like this would be such a ladies’ man?

— Basically, Richemont’s brother doesn’t have confidence in France winning this war. As a result, he doesn’t want Brittany to be severely punished by England in the aftermath of the war. Eh, fair enough. Montmorency and Jeanne haven’t really made a name for themselves. They have yet to win a single battle. It only makes sense that few people would believe in their chances of victory.

— Afterwards, Richemont goes to a tavern and has her drink spiked for men who feel that Brittany should remain independent. Okay, sure, but why do you gotta tie her up and attempt to rape her? Poor Richemont, man. She just keeps getting groped over and over in this series. Luckily, she does get rescued before the guy goes too far, but you could argue that he already has.

— Richemont bitterly complains about her brother, but some woman — I don’t know her name — defends him. He might not want to ally himself with Charlotte, but he also won’t hand Richemont over to some Lord Bedford. I assume that this is the English dude who also groped Richemont. Anyways, I guess that’s the silver lining. Richemont won’t get her 2,000 troops, but she does have a brother who cares about her.

— In an attempt to boost morale, we see Jeanne brandish the Joyeuse. Apparently, it’s a big deal. I just remember it being a neat sword back when I played Final Fantasy XI. A pain in the butt to acquire, too. Astaroth suddenly informs our heroes, however, that the Joyeuse is forged from a philosopher’s stone. Right…

— So La Tremoille returns to the castle and proclaims his innocence. He also has something else to announce: he wants to conduct a virginity test on Jeanne. Of course, Montmorency won’t allow this for obvious reasons.

— Richemont returns empty-handed and feels like a failure as a result. Montmorency tells her to relax and let him take care of things, but why do I get the feeling that she won’t?

— We then see shots of people getting mad at Jeanne for not taking the test. No one else is spared from their wrath either. For instance, they are also mad at Richemont for securing absolutely zero troops. Yeesh, Montmorency needs to hire a PR person.

— Meanwhile, La Tremoille is laying all these weird tools down on a table. Obviously, the virginity test is more like torture.

— Jeanne naively wants to take the test, because she’s blaming herself for their inability to move forward towards Orleans. Luckily, she has enough people on her side to tell her what a bad idea this is.

— Unfortunately, Charlotte goes and takes her anger out on Richemont and her family instead. She’s a pretty bad ruler. Until Montmorency arrived, all she did was cry in her chambers. And now, she drives away one of her closest friends. In this desperate time, why would you piss off an ally?

— Elsewhere, Montmorency declares to Jeanne that he won’t every lose his “inner purity” either. This way, he can always support the girl. Right… I guess they’ll just be one of those weirdo couples that only kiss.

— So the two of them embrace, which Richemont happens to spot from the distance. This causes her to storm off and resign from her post as a general. That’s kinda hilarious. I mean, what’s the big deal? It’s just a hug. Moreover, it’s silly that she’s this hung-up on Montmorency.

— And as Richemont leaves, she thinks to herself that she’s running away because she couldn’t offer her purity to Montmorency. Uh, as far as I know, she’s still a virgin as well unless she misrepresented what had happened between her and that creepy dude. Look, being groped doesn’t make you dirty or impure. I can’t believe something like that even needs to be said. Whatever, these ladies are being way too dramatic.

— When it rains, it pours: La Hire also says she’s out. She won’t risk the lives of her men. Montmorency’s plan to save France is falling apart before it even could even get started.

— Later that night, he has to confront a throng of angry people demanding to check on a girl’s hymen. No, really. Montmorency tries to have Astaroth pose as an archangel, but La Tremoille quickly corrects his step-brother on that account.

— Y’know, maybe Montmorency should stop dressing like a wannabe magician. People might stop calling him a heretic if he stopped looking the part.

— Montmorency won’t allow the soldiers on his side to retaliate. As a result, he just eats the crowd’s punishment instead. And finally, we get mean, pissed off Jeanne, i.e. Jeanne Alter. Not only that, she’s also armed with the Joyeuse, so I guess that makes her extra powerful? And you know what?

— I like how the guy who has Montmorency at the tip of his blade suddenly decides to try and fight Jeanne instead. T-that’s not how you use a hostage. Also, do you not see Jeanne beating everyone else up? What do you think you can do with only one free arm?

— So of course, Jeanne gets her precious Montmorency back. She then quickly passes out, because her three minutes are up. I wish Jeanne Alter could stick around more often. Regular Jeanne is so lame and childish (to be fair, she is a child).

— Montmorency then cradles the unconscious Jeanne in her arms and goes on and on about how awesome she is. Somehow, this works on the angry crowd.

— In the aftermath, we learn that more crappily-animated 3-D knights have joined the cause as a result of Jeanne wielding the Joyeuse. So I guess that’s something.

— Right before Jeanne Alter had passed out, she claimed that she would take the virginity test. I guess that never came to fruition? It’s not that I want her to, but it’s funny how everyone just kinda forgot about it.

— As Montmorency and Jeanne leave for Orleans, Astaroth tells them that a person can only use one philosopher’s stone at a time. This will probably set Montmorency up to takeover the mythical sword? I mean, he’s gotta become useful at some point, right? All he’s good for right now is dispensing elixir.

— When they exit the castle, they are greeted by a loud, cheering crowd. Montmorency briefly thinks he can see Richemont standing among them, but he’s just imagining things. It’s kinda lame, isn’t it? They were reunited for two whole episodes, but he’ll probably have to go save her again at some later point in the series.

— Elsewhere, Philip puts on a black, horned helmet and goes nuts. Yeah, she’ll become that woman whom we see Jeanne fighting in the OP. Somehow, wearing a black helmet gives you larger breasts.

— The preview for next week’s episode gives Philip a new name: Ulysses Noire. In other words, the black Ulysses. Uh-huh.

In this week’s episode, I want to tear my hair out as the boys try to find ways to placate Kaito. 

— Minato will now join his school’s kyudo club, but I think it’s kinda silly that he even has to apologize. Apologize for what? I’m sure it’s a cultural thing, but I don’t think he did anything wrong. If anything, they should apologize to him.

— Unfortunately, not everyone will accept Minato with open arms. Bullies just gotta bully, I guess. Again, I don’t really understand why the club tolerates Kaito’s behavior. Literally no one reprimands him in this scene, and that’s infuriating. He’s absolutely toxic, and his attitude is detrimental to everyone around him. I’m sure the story will try and endear us to Kaito later. Maybe he’s had a tough childhood. Maybe he has to care for a billion siblings all on his own or whatever. That won’t work on me, though. Nothing excuses being a huge dick. Friendship is not the panacea to all of life’s problems.

— Personality-wise, Ryohei is like a puppy with boundless energy. I’m not a dog person, though.

— Minato tells Ryohei that he was prepared to deal with hostility. That’s crazy, though. You’re just a kid in high school. You shouldn’t have to deal with that. I know life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. I know life isn’t ideal. But no kid should have to just suck it up and deal with nonsense at their own school.

— Hakama do look cool.

— Meanwhile, Nanao sure is “quirky.”

— Apparently, the club didn’t manage to recruit anybody other than Minato. Multiple girls didn’t like Nanao’s fan club disrupting the atmosphere. Another girl wasn’t happy that she couldn’t wear a hakama right off the bat. Multiple girls also doesn’t want to deal with Kaito. But I dunno, I don’t think Tomio is running a tight ship. The first and third reasons are totally understandable.

— Even one of the guys complained about Kaito! So you lost a ton of recruits because of one person!

— Last but not least, even Nanao’s fan club is scared of Kaito. Tomio, you suck.

— Rika claims that those kids were just using Nanao and Kaito as excuses to not join, but I think that’s a cop-out. So only people who show true dedication to archery are allowed to join the club? Only people who love archery so much that they can tolerate Kaito’s toxicity are allowed to join the club? You guys are being a bunch of elitists. After all, people don’t usually fall in love with someone, something, or some activity right away. It takes time to foster a close attachment. A casual might’ve ended up embracing kyudo in the long run had they stuck around, but now we’ll never know.

— The other two girls look like they worship everything that comes out of Rika’s mouth. This seems to be a recurring trope for tall, stoic female characters like Rika.

— To make matters even worse, Kaito now refuses to participate in the tournament, because he won’t acknowledge Minato as a teammate. What a trash person. Again, I would just kick this guy out of the club, but eh… anime’s gotta anime.

— Finally, someone stands up to Kaito, but it’s just Nanao jabbing him in the stomach. Meanwhile, Tomio is just like, “I’m sure they’ll find common ground somewhere.” Instead, he’s just going to let Minato “see this through.” Way to run a club, old man. Way to show the kids that the adults will stand idly by when a bully runs his mouth.

— Afterwards, Seiya tells Ryohei that he didn’t take Minato’s issues back in middle school until it was too late. As a result, he feels guilty and that’s why he’s been trying so hard to recruit Minato. Sure, but this doesn’t excuse his behavior in the first two episodes. Sigh, I’m really having a hard time liking any of these characters. Other than Minato, they’re all kinda annoying in their own ways.

— Pfft.

— Ryohei proceeds to head to the library and research ways to cure Minato of his target panic. He can’t find a solution in any of the books, but that’s probably because every situation is different. Maybe Minato’s target panic has something to do with his mother passing away. I mean, I wouldn’t really know, but it’s a thought. Likewise, Masaki’s target panic probably has something to do with his grandfather. As a result, there wouldn’t be a catch-all solution. Each person will have to confront their issues uniquely.

— Eventually, Ryohei ends up getting a copy of someone’s diary — someone who dealt with and eventually cured himself of his target panic. I guess this might shed some insight.

— So shouldn’t I like Ryohei for pulling out all the stops to help Minato. Eh, he’s not a bad guy, I guess. He just doesn’t have the personality that I really care for. Overly enthusiastic people tend to be exasperating in the long run.

— Every morning, Minato gets up early to clean the practice hall and water the plants. Might be part of his ritual. Might be his way to contribute to the club despite his ongoing issues. Might be a way to cure his target panic.

— It turns out Minato also has a diary to read — Masaki’s diary, in fact. Hell, it’s the same diary that Ryohei had gotten.

— Masaki assured Minato that they would see each other again if he kid stuck with archery. Let’s face it: he’s joining the club as a coach or whatever. It’d be such a typical sports anime thing to happen.

— Elsewhere, Kaito asks Nanao if it’s really his fault that no one else joined the club. I mean, even if it wasn’t his fault, does he think it’s okay to speak to other people the way that he does? People need to stop being so results-oriented. Your actions can still be wrong even if they end up not hurting anyone.

— I love how the story excuses Kaito’s attitude as him just being really, really serious about archery. As a result, if he just recognizes that Minato is also serious about archery, they can become friends! Again, I find this sort of elitist. There should be room for both casual and hardcore fans. I dislike gatekeepers like Kaito.

— Afterwards, the guy picks yet another fight with Minato, so his talk with Nanao didn’t amount to anything useful. Bullies still gotta bully.

— I like how puppy dog Ryohei thinks that everyone is so cool. Everyone including Kaito.

— Maybe this is the problem.

— Ryohei and Nanao then try to engineer a random encounter between Minato and Kaito that will somehow endear the former to the latter. What a waste of time and effort. No one wants to just tell Kaito to quit being an asshole. Essentially, they think it’s okay for him to hold onto his prejudices towards casuals. The only thing his friends want to change is Kaito’s perception of Minato. Weak.

— It turns out, however, that everyone else has decided to arrive early too. The girls want to know who has been keeping the place so spotless. Seiya is… well, he’s here too for largely the same reason.

— Seiya wants to know why Minato ultimately decided to join the club. Curiosity is fine, but claiming that he has the right to know is a bit silly.

— Damn, that hot guy really did a number on Minato’s heart, huh?

— Minato ends up professing his love for archery, so Seiya then goes, “If you would just say that to [Kaito], you two wouldn’t have had to fight.” That’s so dumb. Kaito is being an asshole regardless of how much Minato loves archery. God, I hate these characters.

— Well, Kaito and the rest of the gang overheard the conversation anyways. Nevertheless, the jerk storms off because he’s not going to swallow his pride.

— Ryohei is the first person to acknowledge how messed up it was to make Minato do a public demonstration despite his target panic. He might be the only one to do so, too. I have no faith in these gormless characters.

— So the puppy dog gives an impassioned speech in defense of Minato. In response, Kaito still stubbornly insists that he doesn’t believe in the main character, but by golly, he’ll believe in the puppy dog! Whatever.

— Oh thank you, your lordship! Your acknowledgment is the only thing that I’ve ever wanted!

— Barf.

— Apparently, one of the guys who had helped Ryohei just happens to go to Kirisaki, the rival school. At the moment, they don’t take Kazemai’s new team very seriously, because that’s the sports anime thing to do.

— Back at Kazemai, Tomio announces that he’s hired a coach to lead the team. And surprise, surprise, it’s Masaki. What’s actually surprising is that Kaito is also a big fan of the guy. Well, let’s see if his idol can rein him in.