Shinmai Maou no Testament Ep. 5: Plot all over my face

I’d say 75% of every episode desperately wants to be a porno. The other 25%? Pure and delicious plot.

Yeah, the show’s got a lot of plot.

Maria takes umbrage at Basara for smacking her on the head, but she basically just sexually assaulted him. But it’s okay, because she’s a cute anime babe, right? Of course.

Likewise…

But the plot is just too juicy, so you’re going to have to pay extra and buy the blu-rays if you want the full story. But you might be wondering, “Why did Basara just walk in on his ‘imouto?'” Well, hear it from the guy himself:

I like that smirk on his face. Uh-huh. I believe you, dude. Y’know, in my house, if the bathroom door is closed, you knock anyway just to be safe. But hey, what do I know? Also, if you’re using the bathroom, you typically lock it. But obviously, if we did that, then something like this would never happen:

What’s that, Basara? You don’t like it when someone enters the bathroom while you’re using it and impose themselves on you? Gosh… Anyway, the faux porno finally decides to take a break in order to let the story develop (heh). And it basically comes in the form of an exposition dump as Basara and his still-best-friend discuss important matters in the middle of a busy restaurant.

Smart guys. What’s important? First things first, the bad guys will send more baddies as reinforcements. ‘Cause y’know, the still-best-friend is such a fuck-up. He can’t even properly disguise himself.

Supposedly, Basara’s dad was a badass. He’s so badass. he can’t even raise his own son.

Supposedly, having sex with someone will make you stronger. You too can go SSJ if you would just fuck more. Is that what we’re telling Japanese youths now to combat the declining birth rate? But man, that was a good exposition dump, so here, have some more plot.

This plot leaves Basara shocked and awed:

Good ol’ school nurse tells Basara to look deep inside himself, and figure out who or what it is that he truly wants to protect. So, uh, what would change? Seriously, nothing would change. He wants to protect Mio now, and he still wants to protect her after reflection. Great sage advice there, sensei. Just stick to your plot, alright?

Later, those enemy reinforcements arrive.

And not to mention, some plot as well. Her name is Zest, by the way. You should at least know the woman’s name. Gawsh, she’s not an object.

Afterwards, Maria wants Basara to become stronger, so she trains him the only way anime knows how. Trust me, you can learn everything there is to know about women from eroges:

Elsewhere, a meth’d out Scooby Doo tries to attack some innocent woman:

Someone didn’t get enough Scooby Snackums.

Luckily, this Fate/stay night reject stepped in to save her.

He and two others are from the Hero Tribe, and they’re also here to kill Mio.

For some reason, we see some poorly-drawn badasses attempt to confront Basara. Confront Basara over what? Over Mio, of course. They’re such badasses, the number one thing on their minds is whether or not Mio has hugged him. Right. Sounds more like otaku logic to me. My waifu has had sex before? I’m going to burn every fucking manga about her that I ever owned! Nevertheless, Yuki alerted an adult, so fight doesn’t break out.

She then asks Basara out. The episode ends on that note as those Hero Tribe stooges ready themselves for their mission. Good episode. Lots of plot.