I approve of Yukine’s daring, new look! How chic!

Episode summary: In order to cleanse Yato’s blight, three Regalias must perform an ablution, a ritual where the corrupted Regalia — in this case, Yukine — must confess to and be punished for his crimes. At first, Yukine resists, but he eventually gives in and avoids becoming a Phantom. Everyone gets all teary at the end of the episode.

Notes:

• Not even a cold opening this week, so you know the situation’s dire.

So this is what we’ve come to:

Yukine literally sees Yato writhing in pain on the ground, and yet the kid still has nothing but bitter contempt for his master. Honestly, he is a caricature by this point, but I suppose we crossed that threshold long ago when we learned that he actually had the nerve to steal a donation box for disaster relief. It’s just such a pity. This entire arc could’ve been condensed into a couple of tight, well-composed episodes, and in doing so, perhaps we would’ve avoided this tragic game of one-upmanship. Basically, because this whole “Yukine is a spoiled brat” storyline took so long to play itself out, the narrative had to consistently one-up Yukine’s transgressions to keep us gasping. Oh, the kid stole a skateboard? Well, now he’s going to steal a donation box! Oh, he can’t stand being around Yato? Well, now he’s going to look at his dying master with burning hatred and contempt! But the problem is that Yukine’s a kid, so even though the story keeps trying to one-up his transgressions, he can’t actually commit a serious crime. He just does petty thug stuff, but you can’t keep one-upping petty thug stuff forever, y’know? If you take the serious approach, the logical endpoint of one-upping petty thug stuff is that it stops being petty at some point. Since the story doesn’t want us to completely hate Yukine, however, the one-upmanship forces the story to abandon its seriousness in order to keep itself going. As a result, Yukine ends up stealing a donation box.

• The situation might be dire, but it doesn’t mean we can’t treat ourselves to a little fanservice! Way to go, Noragami:

Mmm-hmm, a sexy, blighted shoujo sure does lend a legitimacy to our current state of affairs. Better throw in a full-bodied side view for good measure.

• Mayu is willing to help Yato, but an ablution apparently takes three Regalias to get the job done. Why? Probably just for story reasons. But lemme guess… since Tenjin’s other Regalias are too frightened by the circumstances to volunteer, Daikoku’s going to have ask one of Bishamon’s Regalias to aid in this ritual that we’ll no doubt get to see. It’ll most likely be Kazuma too since the guy claims to owe a debt to Yato, but it might be interesting if Kazuma lends a hand with neither Bishamon’s knowledge nor her blessing.

• We then see Daikoku beg for help at several different other shrines, shrines that presumably belong to various different other gods that we just don’t get to see. Kinda disappointing, honestly. I’m curious who those other gods are and what they actually look like.

• Tenjin: “You must slay Yukine, Yato!” Remember how Yato’s notorious for having killed a Regalia in the past and this is why Hiyori was advised to be extra careful around him? I wonder if it’ll be suddenly revealed that in the past, a colder, more brutal Yato had no qualms about punishing a former Regalia, but because the incident was so traumatic, this explains why he’s been way too lax with Yukine.

• Whoops, my bad. It isn’t Daikoku who goes to ask Bishamon for help, but Hiyori. But I was right about one thing: he’s not aiding in the ablution with Bishamon’s blessing whatsoever. I can smell drama on the horizon~

• I really wish anime would stop with this whole “Lemme cover up your mouth real quick from behind to get your attention!” nonsense:

Yes, I know Kazuma wants Hiyori to shut up lest she draws Bishamon’s attention and thus incurs the goddess’s wrath, but put yourself in that situation. If someone had grabbed your shoulder firmly instead, you’d still shut your mouth up real quick, right? Or would you continue screaming away like an idiot? C’mon, we all know the first answer is the right one, so grabbing Hiyori by her mouth as you can see in the screenshot above is completely unnecessary, and to be quite frank, just a tad bit rapey.

• Let’s just have Yukine one-up himself once more for good measure. He tries to leave the premises despite Daikoku’s claims that he’ll kill the kid if he does. I guess Yukine’s a wannabe badass now or something, and he doesn’t believe other Regalias has the guts to kill him if need be. I mean, how else would you explain the kid’s flippant behavior toward a death threat?

• It turns out Yukine’s behavior has been so bad that the kid now stands the risk of becoming a Phantom himself. The high-pitched squealing from the Phantom is kind of undermining the gravity of the scene though. Oh no, Yato’s about to die and we need to perform this ablution now! And… we have neon eyeballs squealing away as if it’s little kid’s toy. Okay then…

• Kofuku: “As former humans, only Regalias can judge the sins of other Regalias.” Well, that’s nice. At least we have a proper court of law in the spirit world. The problem is that Yukine should’ve been disciplined by either Yato or Hiyori a long time ago, but they allowed the situation to fester to the point that the kid now requires a “beating” from other Regalias. The implicit message here, however, might be a tad bit problematic though. It’s certainly expected in Asian cultures to rely upon corporal punishment to keep unruly kids in line, but many studies have shown that this sort of discipline has no longterm benefits for the child. But regardless of how the rest of us choose to divide ourselves up on either side of this contentious issue, I must admit that Noragami is merely being consistent with the culture it chooses to reflect: “Culturally, many people in the region believe a certain amount of corporal punishment for their own children is appropriate and necessary, and thus such practice is accepted by society as a whole.” My own anecdotal experiences would back that up.

• The simpler message is that Yato and Hiyori make for some bad parents.

• I guess Yukine’s biggest sin is that he covets. On the plus side, at least there’s no head in a box this time.

• We first see a montage of Yukine acting out, but there’s nothing new there. It’s stuff we’ve seen already from previous episodes, e.g. vandalizing the school, stealing a skateboard, etc. When Yato then goes, “I need to say his name…” we then get treated to a montage that is, I think, supposed to show Yukine in a better light. Why? So the audience can say, “Yeah, this kid’s life is worth saving!” The whole thing just strikes me as funny though, because it certainly feels like the story is having trouble digging up any scene of Yukine that really shows him in a good light. At his best, the kid was only neutral.

• To be honest, Yukine’s transgressions aren’t serious enough. Would you really become a life-threatening Phantom just because you stole a skateboard and smashed a few windows? Shouldn’t the kid have to commit murder or something grave like that to warrant such a fate? Well, he did admit to trying to molest Hiyori… but whatever, I just can’t see sentencing a kid to death because he lacks remorse for committing the crimes of a petty thug. The story could’ve come up with something a little less moustache-twirlingly evil than stealing a donation box, but at the same time, Yukine’s list of transgressions aren’t quite serious enough as a whole to make me think he’s some super corrupted Regalia that needs to be put down like Tenjin had exclaimed earlier in the episode. It’s like this… you put down your dog if it has rabies, because it is now a threat to everyone around it. You don’t put a dog down, however, just because it shit on the carpet while smirking at you, y’know? This is how I kinda feel about it. The donation box thing would be like the dog mocking me by shitting on a carpet. I’d give the dog up, but I wouldn’t kill it.

• Oh well, all’s well that ends well.

• This guy, though:

He’s just going to have to ruin things for our heroes. So are we finally onto the final conflict of the series now? Or is this a two-cour series?

/cry

Episode summary: Cecil and Natsuna finally arrive at their destination, where the latter learns more about Cecil’s childhood from Cecil’s dad. Meanwhile, Diana attacks the rest of Butterfly Law Firm for some reason or other. Then suddenly, Cecil and Natsuna are attacked by a giant, green golem. Eventually, our heroes prevail, but not before the villains are killed before they can reveal anything about the conspirators lurking in the shadows.

Notes:

• The Shark Knight guy with the spiky, blond hair goes, “Perfect timing. We were on an overseas business trip for public relations.” I’ll say. Did every damn wizard barristers law firm decide to visit North America at the same time or what? And to run into Cecil at some indistinct Canadian diner somewhere between Boston and Lake Huron too! Wow, it’s almost as if they are stalking her!

• Look how giant the guys are compared to the girls, though:

I know Cecil is technically still a child, but what about the other two? The disparity is a tad unbelievable, if you ask me. Much like this fortuitous meeting we’re having right now.

• Are you serious? Cecil suddenly decides that she really, really needs to run to the store to buy some maple syrup. Why? Because “[i]t’d be a shame for [Natsuna] not to try some maple syrup, after coming all the way to Canada.” Yeah okay, if you wanted to leave Natsuna alone with Cecil’s dad so that the two can talk about our heroine, that’s fine, but don’t you guys think you could’ve come up with a better excuse than, “Girl, you totally gotta try real, authentic Canadian maple syrup! I’ll be back in a jiffy!”

• As expected, Cecil’s dad begins to talk about his daughter’s childhood without Natsuna even asking him to. Did you know our poor Mary Sue never had a friend when she was growing up? Naturally, when Natsuna does ask him a question about a topic that the audience would actually be interested in, namely what happened that day that caused Cecil’s mom to be put in jail, Cecil returns home from the store with that bona fide Canadian maple syrup. So y’know, we don’t get to learn anything about that incident.

• Oh well, enough boring character development! Even a show about lawyers needs a beach episode, so bam:

And bam:

Lawyers, everybody. Lawyers from Japan.

• Koromo: “Man, the ocean’s cold, and no one’s here!” Really? But I have heard such great things about New England’s fabled beaches. As a former resident of Surf City, USA, I must say I’ve always been quite jealous of the northeastern seaboard and it’s temperate climate.

• Good lord, you could cut yourself on that thing:

But at least there’s fanservice for everybody, right? Well, not quite. Kamakiri-san stayed behind in Japan, after all. I guess Wizard Barristers has something against lovers of octogenarians. I call discrimination!

• Here’s what puzzles me… neither of Cecil’s parents are willing to tell their daughter what happened on that fateful day from six years ago. Neither of them. Both of them, however, fully realize that Cecil became a wizard barrister just so that she could one day free her mother from jail. Now think about it… how are you going to free your own mother from jail when you don’t even know what happened that day? Cecil can say to herself over and over that she’s going to study hard and do copious amounts of research, but none of it’s going to matter if she doesn’t have a single clue about the case to begin with. And her parents must know this. They must. They can’t be this oblivious, right? So then they must be saying, “Okay, girl, you just obsess over this case for the rest of your life even though there’s no chance in hell you’ll free your mother when you don’t even know what happened.”

• Cecil’s father looks dismayed to learn that his daughter keeps awakening to new powers. I really wish the anime would just stick to the story, because it has the potential to be so interesting. I mean, what’s so dismaying about gaining new powers? Shouldn’t that be awesome for our little Mary Sue? C’mon, don’t hold out on us, Wizard Barristers! But sadly, this is exactly what the anime does. The anime suddenly returns to America where the rest of Butterfly Law Firm are being led into a trap. Well, okay… that might not be so boring. At least I’ll get to see some magical action, right? Nope. Just as the action was about to start, the anime cuts away to Cecil and Natsuna in a row boat. Aaaaaaaaah.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

• Even when you think the characters are going to be normal for just a second — just a teensy, tiny second — the show has to quickly remind us that we’re watching a generic anime full of “anime-isms.” Case in point, Natsuna offers to help Cecil with her mother’s case. Aw, that’s nice. I’m glad this trip has allowed these two to bond, but more importantly, Natsuna now respects her colleague. I’m not even being sarcastic. Natsuna becoming friends with Cecil is a whole lot better than a grown woman bitterly sniping at a 17-year-old girl every chance she gets. But just as soon as I’m about to commend the anime for actually developing its characters, Natsuna stutters, “I’m s-saying that I wouldn’t mind helping out a little! Only when I’m not busy, though! I’m just curious because I’m a wizard barrister, so don’t get any wrong ideas!” Christ, you can’t even have two girls become friends without one of them acting like a generic tsunderekko? Fuck you, anime. Fuck you.

• So I guess the show’s had its fill of character development for now as a giant, green golem suddenly emerges from the lake to attack our heroine. Oh Canada, you card!

• Meanwhile, back in America, Cecil’s fellow Wuds are still battling with the American Wud. Somehow, everyone’s stuck in an unbelievably deep well:

Obviously, the wizard barristers are not stuck in a well, but it’s not like the animation is doing the action any favors. I mean, just look at it:

Some quality faces on those girls.

• Remember how in a previous episode, Cecil’s senior colleagues kept telling her that she had to stop relying on her magic all the time? But in the end, the anime concocted a situation in which Cecil had to use her magic in order to save the day? Well, in this week’s episode, Cecil’s dad suddenly orders her to stop using her magic out of nowhere. It doesn’t even make sense for him to do so. Gee, Dad, I’m sort of fighting a giant, green golem here? It kinda wants to kill me? Could you give me a break, you think? In any case, Cecil hesitates at the sound of her father’s voice, so the golem gets an attack off. It’s an attack that ends up destroying Cecil’s childhood home. I get it. Cecil’s magical powers are magical. She should just use them as much as necessary, and the people around her need to stop holding her back.

• Apparently, destroying a girl’s precious memories will make her go SSJ as we see Cecil draw metal from nearby cities. Oh yeah, she just happens to be nowhere near a city. You know what that means! Cecil’s getting even stronger!

• When Cecil manages to defeat the green golem, out pops Kaede! P-p-plot twist! Nah, not really. This was foreshadowed pretty damn hard in last week’s episode, so yeah… You didn’t actually think Chekhov’s hitchhiker would just disappear completely from the story, did you?

• This is where Scooby Doo and the rest of the gang asks the evil villain why she did what she did, and Kaede explains, “I’m sure you’ve already forgotten… But the suspects you recently caught from the robbery gang, No Face… One of them is my father.” So what you’re trying to tell me is that this girl from Japan decided to follow Cecil all the way to America, then knew ahead of time that Cecil would be visiting her father, so as a result, she then placed herself somewhere between Boston and Lake Huron — ’cause y’know, there’s literally only one path between those two locations — in the hopes that Natsuna and Cecil would not only run into her, but would also have it in their hearts to give her a ride. When you put it that way, it sounds pretty plausible to me!

Naturally, someone else is behind Kaede’s actions. Most likely Shizumu, but even so, it doesn’t render any of this any more believable. Yes, I’m sure the mastermind could’ve bought Kaede a ticket to America. Then he or she could’ve predicted that the girl would take the opportunity to visit her father, but there’s still that tiny, little issue of Kaede running into Cecil and Natsuna in the middle of nowhere as the two of them embark on a road trip to Canada. Actually, disregard everything I just said. Obviously, the answer is magic. It’s magic, folks. Let’s just wrap it up and go home.

• Who sent you? Tell us, girl! Who sent you!

Aw man… lame. Every time someone’s about to say something important, they die! I may as well watch a slice-of-life about a tea club because at least nobody will ever die. But anyway, it turns out that Moyo’s involved somehow. Even though she stayed back in Japan. Does she have the power to zip across the entire planet in an instant to murder both Kaede and Diana? Jesus Christ, what is going on with this story anymore?

• Natsuna: “…’there’s no doubt that it has something to do with you, Cecil…” No shit, Sherlock. Of course it has something to do with Cecil. That’s what the now-dead girl just fucking said a minute ago: “He said Cecil is a terrible wizard barrister. I was told if I could draw your dormant magic out, my father’s sentence would be reduced. I don’t know the details… But apparently, it has to do with the incident six years ago.” You can’t spell it out any clearer than that.

• Shizumu: “Shall we kill Cecil? Again?” This story, man… this story. When I want it to progress, it refuses to. When it does, it throws the whackiest thing it can think of at the audience, e.g. Cecil’s been killed before.

Well, are you?!

Episode summary: Nobunaga needs to get the Regalia of wind back from Caesar. He is manly. So manly that women’s clothes fall off of them in front of him. With the power of their nakedness, Nobunaga gets the Regalia of wind back from Caesar. The end.

Notes:

• Oh, so that what’s Shingen was trying to do at the end of last week’s episode: “Defeated, Shingen tried to entrust the future of the East and his Regalia to Nobunaga…” Well, of course! So even though everyone’s been calling Nobunaga all sorts of names and insulting his intelligence over and over, I should’ve just known that Shingen would want to entrust the entire future of the East to Nobunaga through a single duel. Because, y’know, a single duel between two men is really a great judge of character. Nope, Shingen doesn’t have a single person to carry on with his legacy. Not a trusted second-in-command or even a son. It’s Nobunaga or nothing. Duh.

• Again, I have no idea why Shingen’s men are entrusting themselves to Caesar, whom they know nothing about. B-But their lord’s death! Our lord must be avenged! So please, just take over Takeda’s castle. No big deal.

• We get a new character:

Technically, we already saw him last week, but he gets a proper introduction this time around. Now, I refer to him as a male for now because his name is Uesugi Kenshin, but his voice actor is clearly a lady, and not only that, he’s got quite an effeminate appearance for such a manly show like The Fool. As a result, just hold onto your butts. I’m sure we’re going to get some juicy plot twist regarding this character’s gender.

• The War Council naturally wonders how Nobunaga can be so dead certain that Takeda wasn’t responsible for his brother’s death. Nobunaga nods and replies, “Before we fought, Lord Shingen and I discussed the matter, man-to-man. I know this with certainty because I have fought him. He was a warrior who would never lie.” Real men have honor! The honesty of real men lies within their fighting spirit! I fight. I real man. Rawr!

• How come no one suspects Nobunaga, though? Honestly, he’d have plenty of reasons to have Nobukatsu killed. The most obvious one is that there’d be no one to contest his ascendency. As the sole remaining male heir of the Oda clan, he gets to succeed his father by default. Oh, I forgot; he’s the Fool so we can just assume he’s too dumb to ever plan out an assassin. No wait, his warrior spirit means he can’t lie! Yeah, that’s it.

• Nobunaga advises, “For now, we should turn our gaze not inward, but outward.” I’m not sure you’ve ever turned your gaze inward, buddy. “Otherwise,” Nobunaga continues, the enemy will take advantage of our strife.” Right, right. Always in times of doubt and turmoil, our self-proclaimed leaders will tell us to just stop thinking, and entrust our lives to them. For the safety of our country, of course.

• AW FUCK:

Goddamn it, it’s the revenge of the creepy childbride. Man, you just can’t find good assassins these days. Apparently, Mitsuhide’s the only person on the entire Eastern Star who can put a bullet in its proper place. Do it, bro, do it. Kill Himiko too! It’ll, uh, inflame Nobunaga’s fighting spirit, and through his anger, he’ll unite the two stars or something amazing like that. Uh-huh.

• Himiko: “The grief of losing Nobuhide-sama and Nobukatsu-sama will never leave my heart. But there is no point in dwelling on what is past. What the Oda clan should do now is move forward.” Oh gosh, well, that sounds reasonable, but here comes the best part: “That is what my crystal says.” C’mon, she can’t even form her own thoughts and opinions. Just kill her.

• Since Nobunaga needs to retrieve the Regalia of wind from Caesar if he’s going to conquer the rest of the East, Himiko goes, “Use the resources of Yamatai to grant your heart’s desire.” I’m sure glad the people of Yamatai don’t give two fucks what they’re being used for. In fact, we have no clue what anyone outside of the elites thinks. It’s just a bunch of rich, pampered leaders playing war games when we know for a fact that it’s always the commoners who end up suffering the brunt of the consequences of their leaders’ actions.

• Nobunaga: “But, this requires more thought. [Caesar] is a foe who cannot be defeated by force alone.” Hehe, I guess this is going to be a surefire loss for Nobunaga.

• Nobunaga has to take a knee just to match his eye level with Himiko’s eye level. Yet, they are betrothed to one another. Ugh, I really shouldn’t watch anime before I eat. Now I’ve lost my appetite.

• Obviously, we’ve gone through too many episodes without a proper exposition dump, so here it comes. The anime’s been consuming a lot of fiber, so I hope y’all are ready to learn all about King Arthur, his intentions for sending Caesar to the East, the ley lines of the East, how Regalias and their wielders are important with regards to said ley lines, the phenomena of the ley lines, how the Regalias interact with the quantum fields from the ley lines, how willpower determines the power of a Regalia…” Blah blah blah blah. Are you not entertained? Is this not the most riveting topic ever?!

• Yeah, yeah. And he who controls the spice controls the universe. Tell me something I don’t already know, Leonardo da Vinci.

• Uguu, Jeanne has a Regalia of her own (read: her virginity) that she’ll one day entrust to Nobunaga… o-only if he takes responsibility. That baka.

• This is so stupid. Jeanne gets a vision of Caesar defeating Nobunaga in battle, so she’s all concerned and shit. She then calls out to him and asks if he’s really going to fight Caesar. Of course he will, so our manly hero wonders, “Why bring this up now?” And all Jeanne can do — literally all she can do — is look to the side and mutter, “But…” But… but what? Why don’t you just fucking say it? Why don’t you just tell him you have a bad omen? What is wrong with you?

• Ichihime: “But, I still have faith that my brother will get us through this predicament. So, I’d like you to have faith in Nobu, as well.” Welcome to the Star of the East… where warriors never lie, and Eastern girls have nothing but their utmost faith in the Savior-Pig. Welp, enough talking. Back to singing for you, Ichihime.

• But as she walks away from Nobunaga’s sister, Jeanne observes, “She has inner strength.” No, no Ichihime doesn’t. She’s just a caged bird who does nothing in this story. She doesn’t do a single damn thing in this story. She’s literally there to look pretty, belt out some crappy songs, and insist that Jeanne put her faith in her oaf of a brother. Wow, such inner strength!

• Basically, if you’ve ever heard of the Bechdel test, this anime would bomb it hard.

• So the night of the big battle finally arrives. Caesar jumps into his War Armor, which he then uses to jump into a War Armor… Bike?

Not to be outdone, Nobunaga removes parts of his War Armor to construct a War Armor Bike of his own:

Right. The kicker is that Nobunaga has no idea what he is even doing: “A wing-horse?!” It’s all thanks to his new Regalia of fire, you see. The powers of lightning and fire combine to create a mecha horse! My quanta are literally tingling at the sight of this heroism.

• Oh look, Caesar lands a critical strike on Nobunaga in the exact same way that Jeanne had envisioned. Boy, imagine if she had just told the Fool what she had seen! I agree, however, that it’s much better to look off to the side and mutter, “But…,” and let the Savior-Pig march off to his death.

• So to correct her error, Jeanne rides headfirst into the midst of battle with nothing but a white flag in one of her hands. The problem here is that both Nobunaga and Caesar are in their giant War Armors. Naturally, all Caesar has to do is to simply do anything within close proximity of Jeanne, and this action — whatever it is — would send her flying from her mount. Oh no no no no… she doesn’t just go flying. Her clothes literally fall off to reveal her bountiful breasts, I shit you not:

That poor mount, though. Just look at its face; it’s in pain! Somebody save it! But anyway… what were we talking about? Oh right, the sudden unraveling of Jeanne’s clothing. Y’see, only in this feminine state of undress is Jeanne able to entrust her Regalia (read: her virginity) to Nobunaga, thereby saving him:

Now, now… I’m sure you guys must be like, “Yo, E Minor, why do you keep referring to Jeanne’s Regalia as her virginity?” Because it just is, man! Lo and behold:

El-oh-el. Trust me, I had no evidence whatsoever that her Regalia would represent her virginity, but I just had a hunch, the sort of hunch you naturally get from watching this much shitty anime.

• And just like that, Nobunaga defeats Caesar.

• Here’s some brilliant lines of dialogue to close out this amazing episode:

Jeanne: “Nobunaga. I, Ranmaru, will protect you with my life!”
Nobunaga: *grunts* “It was inevitable.”

Yep, that about sums it up.

Boy, will Kal’s face be red when he realizes he just kissed the person he finds responsible for his parents’ deaths!

Episode summary: Kal confesses his love to Claire, and they briefly share a kiss, but the girl pushes him away. He suddenly realizes that she’s been Nina Viento all along, and locks himself away in his room. When Nina Viento claims that she’s abandoned her identity as Claire to Luis, Ignacio goes on a rampage for Kal. Meanwhile, the leaders of Isla decide to continue on with their journey to the End of the Sky despite the apprehension from the rest of Isla’s populace. As a result, Luis depends on Nina to deliver a “rousing” speech to win the people back to their cause.

Notes:

• By itself, this week’s cold opening is not terribly executed, but part of its success hinges greatly upon the anime’s past success or lack thereof. Essentially, the scene is supposed to build upon the tragedy of the previous couple of episodes. Since I didn’t particularly care for the events of the last two weeks, however, the cold opening does nothing for me. Your mileage may vary.

• It’s peculiar how only the male characters have died, isn’t it? Oh, you see a girl’s name on one of the coffins, but it’s nobody we personally know.

• You can extend what I just said in my first bullet point to this scene with all the tombstones. It just does nothing for me. I don’t feel anything, ’cause I never felt anything for those characters to begin with.

• Though I will say that this was a rather insensitive thing to say to Chiharu: “If you think that way, it’ll make everyone sad.” Yeah, stop confessing your honest feelings to us! You’re bring us all down! I know what her classmate is trying to do; she wants to cheer Chiharu up. But it’s just one of those situations where the only way to win is to not play.

• According to Ignacio, he couldn’t leave Claire’s flowers at the monument for the dead students because “[t]he flight school students were there, so I couldn’t leave it.” I’m sure he could’ve, though. He could’ve walked up, left the flowers there, walked away, and this would have been entirely consistent with his characterization thus far. Everyone would’ve just been like, “Oh, it’s just Ignacio being Ignacio! But at least he cares…” Or, Ignacio could’ve just kept waiting in the forest until his classmates did leave. So y’know, I don’t buy his excuse. I just think he was afraid to potentially have to talk to his classmates for some reason or other.

• I’m sort of surprised, however, that Kal has yet to check up on Claire’s status, i.e. wondering to himself, “I wonder if Claire’s okay” and “I wonder how she’s coping.” I know his sister got injured, and of course, the deaths of his classmates are weighing on his mind, but still… Maybe it’s just me but I’d be greatly concerned about my girlfriend’s well-being after what Isla had just gone through.

• I have no idea why I never the made the connection till now that Fausto was Leopold’s son. They don’t look anything alike, but it’s mostly because I would’ve expected Leopold to keep his son safe considering his position within Isla’s government. I guess from a certain perspective, letting his son fight for home and country was honorable? But eh, we hardly know anything about either Leopold or Fausto so it’s hard to judge either way.

• It sounds like a bad idea to me to become an ally of this Holy Levamme Empire, but it’s not like Isla has any other choice but to return home. I’m sure the empire isn’t clueless. It has to realize that Isla’s on the ropes. As a result, the empire also has to realize that it holds all the leverage. Naturally, I’m not this cynical when it comes to individuals, but c’mon, can you really expect any alliance with an empire to be both benevolent and symbiotic when one side is so disproportionately weak compared to the other? Amelia says, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend. A trite phrase, but valid enough for a short-term relationship,” but good luck keeping it a “short-term relationship.” It’s just naivete to think an empire would just allow a tiny floating island of people — I mean, Isla’s not even a full-fledged nation — to just come and go as it pleases. This alliance has disaster written all over it.

• But yeah, the other option is to head back home. Even if they do discover the End of the Sky, what then? What’s so special about this place that they’d sacrifice not just home and country for it, but their children too? Unfortunately, this isn’t a question that Toaru Hikuushi e no Koiuta wants to answer yet. Toaru Hikuushi e no Koiuta doesn’t even want to hint at the answer. I just know the impetus for the journey is vaguely religious at best, but it’s not like it would’ve been hard to make some sort of allusion to Mecca or whatever. We’re just supposed to sit tight until the end of the series, and hope that the conclusion will be satisfactory. But until then, this question as well as other similarly puzzling issues regarding the characters’ motivations are steadily taking me out of the story as the weeks go by.

• Regarding that romantic scene between Kal and Claire, most straight couples in anime can’t even hold hands without blushing like idiots, let alone kiss each other. Of course, I’m being facetious, but there’s nevertheless a grain of truth in what I’m saying. No, I’m not criticizing Toaru Hikuushi e no Koiuta for this scene or anything. In fact, bring on more kisses between anime couples. Kissing is an awesome activity to share with your lover, and it’s totally not embarrassing at all! I’m just saying that for a long time, anime’s approach to romance has been so weird that I’ve long come to expect this sort of scene to never occur in anything that I watch. Even that penultimate scene in Haruhi was like, “Ugh, I’m only kissing her because I have to!” So y’know, this anime’s got that going for it… which is nice.

• But does Kal really love her at this very moment though? Claire doesn’t know it, but we just saw him running through the night screaming and crying after having a PTSD-induced episode. Don’t get me wrong, I find this perfectly understandable. I’m not quibbling about his PTSD whatsoever. As much as I don’t feel anything for his dead classmates, I can still recognize that it must’ve been traumatic for Kal to witness their deaths firsthand. In fact, I’m not really quibbling about anything. I’m just honestly wondering if his feelings for Claire are completely honest at this very moment. Basically, our hero’s in an extremely fragile emotional state, and it probably didn’t help that his girlfriend started off their latest encounter by declaring that she wants to break up with him. I’m not saying that Kal’s deliberately trying to lie or mislead her. I’m just wondering if he’s suddenly confessing his love for her out of desperation. This isn’t even a criticism. If anything, this adds depth to their love story. I’m sure we can agree that war does crazy things to people. Therefore, the potential ambiguity to Kal’s confession is what makes the scene interesting in my eyes.

• And now it’s her turn to confess…

• Whoops, false alarm. She doesn’t have the guts to confess, but as it turns out, she won’t need to. Somehow, our hero now manages to draw the conclusion that Claire’s alter ego is Nina Viento. Why now? Why not before?

• Hm, when Kal says, “You’re… Nina Viento!” you can hear the hurt and anguish in his voice, but we don’t get to see his face until after Claire departs from the scene. I really wish we could’ve, however, and I don’t know why we didn’t. It’s such a pivotal scene too. Did the animators feel as though they couldn’t do his anger and confusion justice?

• Luis: “Many of the people are scared. Many of them say it would be better to turn back than go forward.” It’s a reasonable suggestion though. Why continue? Are there riches to be had or something? We just don’t know.

• Luis says, “But the enemy is to our backs, as well. We have to continue our journey.” I wonder how truthful he’s being. But since Claire is not in the right mental state at the moment, she simply acquiesces to her guardian’s request.

• Maybe the animators were right when they opted not to animate Kal’s face in that pivotal scene I just talked about above. Here, we’re supposed to see the effects of guy who’s been wallowing in his deep despair:

But it just looks like he’s got a puffy face or something. According to Ari, however, that’s what his face looks like when “he hates everything in the world.” Welp.

• “Look at her golden crown!” one of the townspeople exclaims when they see Nina Viento. That’s a weird attitude to have at this very moment, isn’t it? Boy, my town is in ruins, and I fear my safety since my government refuses to return home, but golly, Nina Viento’s crown is just too pretty! Why did they overthrow Kal’s parents again? Probably because they didn’t have a pretty crown.

• Wait, what? Now Ari makes the connection between Claire and Nina Viento too? Why not before? What has changed since they were frolicking in that beach episode?

• According to Nina Viento, they will find “the blessings of Aldista” at the End of the Sky. Eh, if it was me standing there, I’d say something like how these vague “blessings” aren’t going to bring back the dead, but I guess the people of Isla are easily swayed. After a rather short and, well, not very convincing speech from Nina, everyone claps and cheers for her as if the reality of their situation has all but disappeared completely from their minds.

• I’m not sure why Ignacio’s helping Ari. I suppose of all his classmates, Ari’s the closest to him, but it still doesn’t feel like their relationship is well-developed enough for him to pull such a stunt in front of all those people.

• I guess Kal’s never confided in his imouto how much he despises Nina Viento, ’cause if Ari had really known how he felt about the priestess, I doubt she’d be this friendly with the girl:

Seriously, if I were in her shoes, I’d feel a tad awkward about it: “Oh hey, you’re the girl that my adopted brother blames for the deaths of his parents… how’s it been hanging? You, uh, doing good? Yeah, these days, my brother is kinda full of self-loathing for loving you… man, you should’ve seen his face the other day!”

• Claire: “If [Kal] sees me, he’ll surely suffer.” Girl, I think he already is suffering. You don’t have to worry about that. But she continues, “He’ll remember the past.” Again, I’m pretty sure he’s just reliving it over and over the longer he stays cooped up in his room. If she really doesn’t want him to suffer, the obvious solution is to talk to the guy and hash out their differences. If anything, it would provide closure, but yeah… that’s not going to happen this episode.

• Ari: “I’ll handle Kal.” Handle what exactly? “I know you think she is responsible for your parents’ deaths but…” I can’t even think of what Ari could possibly say.

• Ari: “I know something really bad happened to you before.” Well, that’s putting it mildly.

• I know what Ari’s trying to do, but her analogy falls apart when you break it down. Basically, her father had every reason to hate the imperial family, a.k.a. Kal’s parents, but the guy nevertheless took Kal in and raised the kid as though Kal was one of his own. So I guess the logic here is that Kal should be more like his foster dad and stop hating on Claire, a.k.a. Nina Viento. But that’s just the thing… our hero literally saw Nina Viento bring about the death of his parents as well as the destruction of their empire. Yes, it’s more than likely that someone was pulling the strings from behind the scenes, but you get my point. As for Ari’s dad, the death of his wife sucks and all, but obviously, you can’t blame a kid for the death of your wife. Even if you can blame Kal’s parents for the abject poverty during the reign of the Balsteros Empire — and we don’t really know for sure if Kal’s parents were truly culpable since we’re missing a ton of information about that particular time in the story — Kal’s just a kid. He had no role in any of it. It’d be like blaming Hitler’s kid (if he truly had one) for the Holocaust. As for Nina Viento, it’s different. She might not have been the mastermind behind the rebellion, but she played a part in it. A very major part, in fact. Kal’s hate for her is thus understandable to a degree, and on a whole different level from Ari’s analogy.

• Referring to that speech that Nina just gave to the townspeople, Luis says, “That was a wonderful speech. Now everyone is united again, and we can continue to the End of the Sky.” Well, that was quick and convenient.

• Ari can no longer handle a plane’s throttle because of her injury? Okay…

• Wow, Ignacio manages to remove a door off its hinges with a single kick:

I don’t even know what to say to that.

• Here comes the “tough love,” but there’s only one small problem:

Ignacio now looks as though he’s twice Kal’s size. Oh TMS Entertainment…

• I know the guy told Ari not to interfere, but she literally just saw him sock her brother in the stomach, then carry him off to God knows where in the middle of the night. Remember, none of them really know Ignacio all that well since he’s pretty much ignored his classmates for about 99% of the story. Naturally, someone with a modicum of sense asks, “Are you sure we shouldn’t stop him?” And this is all Ari can say, “I don’t really know, but I think we can leave it to him.” I know Kal’s moping in his room all day, but Ignacio just assaulted your brother. That doesn’t seem like the proper reaction to have.

• Next week, we get to see Kal and Ignacio team up for a mission. Oh boy!

This is so stupid. I’m not even going to do my standard long-form post for this episode because it’s just that stupid. So Elvira’s mentor shows up out of nowhere, and requests to see a demonstration of the coupling system. Yes, now. Right now. No, it cannot wait. I will fly my ship out into the middle of the ginormous Pacific Ocean to board the Cygnus and observe the coupling system in action now. What’s this? You’re telling me that this is a war zone? You’re telling me that the Zogilian army has been constantly hounding the Cygnus every step of the way? Eh, I’ll take my chances. Clearly, the fact that I’m a professor doesn’t mean I have any fucking common sense.

So Dio couples with Aoba for the billionth time, and he notices that his partner is depressed about something. Why, lemme just go have a talk with the guy who’s supposed to have my back in battle. I mean, it’s the least I can do.

Pow! Right in the gabber, mate. That’ll teach you to have a bad day! How dare you! How dare you, I ask! I swear on me mum’s grave I’ll kick your ass some more if you’re depressed around me again!

So our two heroes proceed to beat the shit out of each other for a good two or three minutes just because Dio takes offense to Aoba’s demeanor. But unlike other mecha shows, Aoba hasn’t even been all that whiny and emotional. He’s just… I guess ‘quiet’ would be the best description for the guy. I mean, Aoba hasn’t even had the chance to sulk, but Dio just goes HAM on the him out of nowhere. Whatever. They get thrown into the brig, and the professor stops by to imply that time traveling is totally possible, dudes.

But y’know, only for elemental particles. Suddenly, Zogilian forces attack again.

Like how is that even possible? We’re in the middle of the damn Pacific Ocean and, presumably, the Cygnus has been flying in a straight line for Hawaii ever since they rescued Aoba from that island in last week’s episode. So y’know, how is it that Zogilia keeps managing to catch up to the Cygnus, gets defeated easily, only to then catch up once again… just to be defeated once again? It’s like the Super Mario Kart of mecha warfare or something. The good guys always manage to get away, but the bad guys have a catch-up mechanic! But the best part is that it’s a surprise attack each and every single time.

The crew of the Cygnus aren’t even expecting it, ’cause if they honestly did, do you think they’d be casually eating a goddamn steak dinner with the professor? They’d say, “Yo professor, you should really get out of here. It’s not safe for you.” But they don’t, ’cause they’re literally not expecting Zogilia to attack them even though Zogilia’s been attacking ad nauseum. Damn… the marbling on that steak would imply that it’s Kobe beef too. Kobe beef on a military ship? What the hell is this!

It turns out Margaret’s job is now on the line thanks to her numerous recent failures. In her infinite wisdom, the lady decides to join the frontlines this time. Yes, she’s going to hop into a mecha and fly her ass out there into the middle of a battle to… to… do what, exactly? I’m not even sure. She didn’t do anything, actually. All she did was sit in her mecha and scream at her army to keep firing missiles at the good guys. Hey, I bet she could’ve done that from the safety of her ship too! But nah, putting yourself into the middle of danger is the only way to redeem yourself as a Zogilian! It’s just their culture!

Naturally, the good guys prevail again, and Margaret’s mecha gets ripped to pieces.

But unlike Lord Dolzief, she doesn’t die. I’m not even sure why the anime bothered to spare her life, because we learn at the end of the episode that she’s losing her job anyways. But oh well. It’s not particularly important to me whether she lives or not. Rather, what I don’t get is how stupid these people are.

Even though Dolzief is this ultra important person to Zogilia, they allowed him to participate on the frontlines, and this got him killed. Margaret, knowing exactly what happened to Dolzief, sticks her dumb ass out there anyway. Oh sure, she was confident that her plan would work. Y’see, they theorized that the coupling system can only last for five minutes. So if the Zogilian army can just hold out for more than five minutes, they’re sure to defeat the Cygnus! Zogilia doesn’t realize, of course, that these are the main characters they’re going up against, and the main characters will always exceed expectations. Naturally, Aoba and Dio manage to go beyond their time limit long enough to kick Margaret’s ass.

So here’s the thing. It’s all fine and dandy to come up with a good-sounding theory and then test said theory, but didn’t anyone ever teach you guys about the concept of risk assessment. Shit, even if I am confident that the coupling system would surely last for only five short minutes, I would still consider the possibility that there’s a teensy, tiny chance that I am wrong. And if I’m wrong, I’m screwed. I’d be a sitting duck to those new-type mechas. Therefore, I shouldn’t stick my dumb ass in a mecha and fly it into the heart of a battle. Gosh, I don’t even have to be a secret special agent to come to that conclusion!

But Margaret shouldn’t get too down on herself. At least she got to keep her life unlike the other “genius” of the episode. That’s right, Elvira’s mentor bites the dust. He willingly put himself in the direct line of danger just because he had to see the coupling system in action now.

But look, he was holding onto this photograph of him and Elvira from when she was younger! How sad! Uguu, why do smart people keep dying?! I just can’t handle all these feels~

Oh yeah, the episode ends with an introduction of Hina’s father. Seriously, it just ends on this as though I’m supposed to be blown away by his sudden appearance or something. I mean, why should I really give a shit about this guy? Is he the purple turtle shell of the anime or what? Naw, I’m just kidding. Sunrise is totally right; this old man’s arrival totally blew my socks off. Hell, I’m going to hop onto a forum right now and type up all these possible scenarios that might involve Hina’s father!!!

Meh. At one point in this week’s episode, Touka wonders, “But why didn’t [Uka] tell me about [Inari's] power? Didn’t she trust me?” I know, right? I mean, why wouldn’t she trust you? You’re such a nice and trustworthy guy, Touka:

Touka: “The only womanly things about you are your boobs. Should I squeeze them?”

Why, what person wouldn’t want to pour his or her heart out to you when you react to them in such a… measured way? When Touka tries to comfort Uka later in this week’s episode, he says, “Don’t lie. You can tell me everything.” Really? Can she really? Gosh, I wonder what happened the last time she tried to confide in you with a problem she was having…

Touka: “Go on and have your little arranged dates or whatever. Maybe they’ll teach a gamer nerd like you a thing or two about being a woman.”

Oh well, that’s romance for you. Touka is definitely right about one thing though: “Th-Then maybe we should, uh, think it all through together.” I mean, put side the Touka stuff for now. We can agree he’s an insensitive pig who will magically turn all bishie at the right moments to sweep Uka off of her feet. You can disregard Uka’s mother too. She only wants to marry Uka off because they shouldn’t put those first-rank powers to waste! Plus, Uka’s past her prime! And Uka’s mother desperately needs to one-up Kushinada! You get my point; her portrayal is so one-sidedly bad that there isn’t even any depth to this conflict.

Rather, what I’m disappointed in is how nobody seemingly trusts anybody. Not even the good guys of the story. Everyone’s always acting in someone else’s best interests instead of just trusting that person to do what is right for themselves. There are numerous examples of this throughout the episode.

1) Uka will fade away if Inari keeps using her divine powers, but if Uka takes her powers back, she won’t be able to interact with Inari anymore. Wow, it sounds like Uka’s truly stuck between a rock and a hard place. Gosh, like Touka said, we should team up and think of a solution to this togeth–… nope, Uka tells Touka not to worry Inari with any of this. C’mon…

2) Uka obviously doesn’t want go on those arranged dates. She doesn’t want to get married yet, but she’s unable to stand up to her overbearing mother. It’s clear that Uka has never even entertained the thought of telling her mother off. Gosh, maybe we should thus give Uka the support she needs to express her true feelings and wants to her mothe–… nope, Inari secretly transforms into Uka to take matters into her own hands.

3) Amaterasu thinks Uka is getting a little too attached to Inari. She thinks this is dangerous for both Uka and Inari. Well, I think that’s the implication from this episode’s ending anyhow. Gosh, when you put it that way… maybe we should really sit the two of them down and really let them understand the dire consequences if the situation doesn’t change. As a result, they’ll be able to make informed decisions about what to do–… nope, Amaterasu locks Uka away in the Heavenly Cave.

It’s so frustrating. It’s no different from the stupid arranged dates issue. Basically, from the parents’ point-of-view, they’re only looking out for the children’s best interests. I’m not saying that forcing your kids to marry before they’re ready is a good thing. Obviously, I think it’s horrible to do this to your own children! But parents from traditional Asian cultures do not think like this. They think they’re doing their children a favor. Yes, you can argue all you want that their actions are ultimately self-serving, and you’d be right in 99% of the cases, but at the same time, we have to acknowledge that these parents nevertheless believe that they’re doing their children a favor. So when I look at the three examples I listed above, I honestly just see the arranged dates issue play itself out over and over again but just in a different form.

Uka doesn’t want to worry Inari, so she will withhold crucial information from the child because it’ll be in Inari’s “best interests.” But is it? Inari will transform into Uka to put an end to the marriage interviews. Likewise, she’s doing this in Uka’s “best interests,” but Uka’s a grown woman. She needs to learn to stand up for herself. Finally, Amaterasu locks Uka away in both the latter’s and Inari’s best interests. But again, Uka gave her powers away willingly as a grown woman. And even if Inari’s a child, we’re not talking about a five year old here. Inari will soon become an adult herself in a few more years. Why can’t anyone just be allowed to make their own informed decisions? And if they screw up, fine. It’s their lives. Not yours or anybody else’s. Why are these characters so obsessed with running other people’s lives for them?

In the end, I can’t even be happy for Uka that she no longer has to go through with the marriage interviews, because nothing has really changed elsewhere. Everyone’s just stuck in this mindset that they need to act on another person’s best interests instead of just allowing him or her to exercise his or her own personal agency. And that’s just really sad, in my opinion. Oh yeah, here’s the kicker: the only reason Uka’s mother backed off on forcing her daughter to go through with the marriage interviews is because this is what her husband wants. It’s not what her own daughter wants. Nope. It’s what her husband wants. In the end, nothing has truly been solved. No one really learns anything.

Peace and love everywhere? I thought we were returning to normalcy! But that says something, doesn’t it? That peace and love everywhere isn’t normal. As humans, the idea that life isn’t full of strife is… well, it’s just plain weird. And boring too:

Goto: “These days, all we get are people needing directions or looking for missing kids. Which is a good thing, I realize.

Kanno: “It’s so peaceful, nothing interesting is happening! Hey, you! Find me a dead body!”

It’s just odd that we’ve come to this point when the grand ol’ lesson from the previous arcs was that you shouldn’t force people to become one. Y’know, Alien Flamenco wanted everyone to evolve into one unified uberspecies. As for the now retired Prime Minister Okuzaki, he wanted everyone to fall in line with his policies, i.e. giving him 100% approval rating. I don’t have to go on; you get the picture. In any case, Masayoshi told Alien Flamenco that this sort of thing wasn’t right. He believed that humanity should be allowed to evolve on its own terms: “You’re forcing others to accept your ideals. What humans need is to grow… To learn to walk on their own.” So what happened? Why has peace and love now become the norm? Did everyone in world suddenly decided to embrace peace on their own? Probably not.

Well, remember that Masayoshi is apparently just one of the many individuals across the multiplicity of universes with the power to shape his or her own reality. And since Masayoshi has always held a strong sense of justice, it’s probably likely that he desires world peace. So is it a coincidence that we now have peace and love around the world? Is it a coincidence that all evil has left the world? I mean, what are you trying to tell me? That after the Alien Flamenco incident, evil people just decided to stop being evil? That drug dealers stopped preying upon young people, that human traffickers let their victims go, etc.? Probably not. But at the same time, is this really Masayoshi’s doing? I don’t know yet. But if it is, I doubt he’s doing it on purpose. Regardless of who’s ultimately responsible for this current state of affairs, however, it’s clear that peace and love in such a fashion isn’t normal.

A world that has turned peaceful overnight is so weird and boring to everyone that it almost feels like the characters are looking for trouble. And it seems like they have to stick their noses where their noses don’t belong in order to find said trouble. But what conflicts are there to find if evil has left the world? Well, y’know, you could still have melodramatic problems. Like the issue of Goto’s girlfriend. Out of nowhere — which, let’s be honest, this seems to be this show’s calling card anyway — we learn that Goto’s girlfriend isn’t real. In fact, he’s just been texting himself this entire time, pretending to be his own girlfriend. He is apparently doing this to maintain his own sanity. Yeesh. Why, Goto, why! You were supposed to be the sane one!

Well, it isn’t quite fair to say Goto’s girlfriend has never existed. She was real… until one day, she just plain disappeared. Literally. It’s like a bona fide unsolved mystery. It would be one thing if she was just kidnapped or murdered, but no, they found her belongings on an empty bus, but she was nowhere to be found. No witnesses, no clues. Where did the bus even come from? Where did the bus driver even go? That’s more than a little odd, if you ask me. Most of all, there’s just something not quite natural about all of this. Again, it’s like we’re digging for trouble, you know? Evil has left the world! So let’s turn our gazes inward and revel in the melodrama of our day-to-day interactions with each other. And unfortunately, it looks as if Goto’s the target for this turn for the melodramatic.

But wait a minute… we’ve been told that Masayoshi has the power to shape his reality. Reality is now boring. What if we were to make it so that reality is no longer boring? But y’know, make sure to keep evil out of the equation at the same time. Could it be… that reality has been changed in a way so that Goto’s girlfriend no longer exists? I dunno, but maybe. Think about it. He’s always had a girlfriend, but because we need a problem to keep the narrative interesting, we’ll just go back in time and literally pluck her out of the story. Hm. Maybe! And y’know what, there’s nothing really evil about this (assuming that it isn’t being done on purpose). Goto’s sudden mental illness is a problem, sure, but it’s not a problem born from evil. You can still have peace and love in a world full of trauma and mental illnesses. Melodrama itself has nothing to do with the battle between good and evil. And personally, I think that’s sort of an interesting observation to make.

Do we sometimes invent problems when there aren’t any real problems to worry about? Basically, if you’re busy fighting crime, evil despots, or freedom-hatin’ terrorists, you wouldn’t have time for personal issues like Goto’s trauma. You just wouldn’t. You’d say, “Buck up, pal. There are bigger fishes to fry. People out there are dying! We don’t have the luxury to deal with your mental issues.” But because evil is now suddenly gone from the world, it’s time to look for touble. It’s time to invent conflicts where shouldn’t be any. In a way, it’s almost like saying that melodrama is a first world problem. Think of a show like Golden Time. Think of its characters’ banal issues with love and friendship… y’know, in the grander scheme of things. Those guys and gals have the luxury to whine and cry about their stupid melodramatic bullshit because they have nothing else to be concerned about in their cushy, first world lives.

So we have to wonder… how much of Goto’s latest trauma has been… I don’t know… “manufactured,” I guess you might call it? But even if it’s actually the case that Masayoshi is somehow responsible for these latest developments in the story, again, it probably isn’t intentional for whatever that’s worth. I doubt Masayoshi would knowingly do this to his best friend. Having said that, the revelation that our hero could shape his reality has always been somewhat problematic in my mind. I think back to the one guy who died to Guillotine Gorilla. Surely, Masayoshi didn’t intend for that guy to die, but if the omnipotent being from last week’s episode is to be believed, Masayoshi nevertheless shaped his reality in a way that cost a man his life. Problematic, indeed…

On a less serious note, I sure do hope Goto’s girlfriend makes a miraculous return to the story somehow. Because honestly, I don’t see anything between him and Mari, and I’d rather keep it that way.

As for this kid…

Sawada Haiji… Sawada Haiji… you mean, this Sawada?

From the first episode? Aw hell, it is him. Wow, we’ve really come full circle then, haven’t we? But what the hell is he even rambling about? Oh that’s right, Masayoshi gave a bit of a speech to a bunch of brats at the end of the very first episode of the series:

“You kids… You kids must be enjoying yourselves… You believe that you’re special… That you can do anything. The sky’s the limit… All you care about is… hanging out with friends and fooling around… But your parents and other adults don’t understand. That’s your current mindset… You think no one cares if you act like you own the world! But you’re wrong. People do mind. You’re a damned nuisance. But no one says anything because they don’t want any trouble. They’re scared, so they keep their mouths shut. They don’t step in because they don’t care what happens to you. As they sneer at you and keep their mouths shut, those adults think, ‘Those kids won’t amount to anything in life.’ But here’s what I think. If we don’t get you kids home, nothing will change… The city won’t change, society won’t, our future won’t, adults won’t… You won’t change… I won’t change. That’s why I’m here to tell you you’re being a nuisance! Don’t block the streets. Don’t shout in the middle of the night. Go home! If you want to be a bother, annoy your parents! They’re the only people in the world who absolutely have to care about you!”

This speech must have left quite an impression on the kid, because as you can tell, he recites a bit of it back to Masayoshi. So what’s going on? Well, as it has always been with Samurai Flamenco, your guess is as good as mine. But I wonder… why did the kid leave out the first portion of Masayoshi’s speech? Is it due to the episode’s time constraints? Or is it because what’s missing is actually what’s important? I mean, if Masayoshi has the power to shape his reality, then wouldn’t that make him kind of special? Can’t he honestly do anything? Isn’t the sky the limit? And when you think about it, even if it isn’t intentional, isn’t inventing super villains and world-threatening problems a bit like fooling around? Ahhhh, I don’t know anymore. Maybe Masayoshi is the biggest nuisance in the world of Samurai Flamenco after all. What I can say for sure is that I’m curious as all hell how this will all play out. But hey, remember those folks who were like, “Arrrgh, the writers are lazy! They’re just making this shit up as they go along!” Yeah…

It seems like things are always sexual with the Life Fibers. This week’s cold opening depicts a rather explicitly carnal scene between Ryuuko, Ragyou, and Nui. Ragyou asks, “How is it? The pleasure of being enveloped by Junketsu?” Ryuuko is nearly breathless in her reply: “I… This is just…” We later learn that Junketsu was being sewn onto Ryuuko’s body during this scene. Actually, perhaps it would make more sense to say that Ryuuko was being sewn into the Godrobe instead. Either way, the experience is apparently orgasmic. It’s important to remember, however, that these three women are not exactly human. After all, they are significantly composed of Life Fibers; I don’t have the exact percent, but considering how Ryuuko’s heart looks as though it’s composed primarily of Life Fibers, you can bet good money that the percentage is probably high. In other words, you can think of this scene as, well, three human-shaped Life Fibers rubbing up against each other. I’m not even trying to make a joke although it may seem as though I am.

What I’m getting at is that we shouldn’t really look at this scene as if it’s some genuine expression of human sexuality. Of course, that’s certainly what it looks like to us from the outside, because y’know, we’re human. As a result, we impose a symbolic reality upon the scene to make sense of it. To us, it looks like three nubile women engaging in a quasi-sexual activity. Still, when you consider how inhuman these characters actually are beneath their human appearances, can you really call it sex what they’re doing in this scene? This leads into my bigger point: Ryuuko’s existential crisis boils down to a struggle between her symbolic reality and the cold, objective fact that she’s an amalgamation of flesh, blood, bones, and Life Fibers. Well, that’s a mouthful, but more importantly, what does that mean? Basically, I’m asking you what you see when you look at Ryuuko. You see a a shoujo, right? So what am I talking about with this whole “an amalgamation of flesh, blood, bones, and Life Fibers” idea?

“When you look at a person’s face, you see ‘a person,’ but behind that face is just an amalgamation of blood, flesh and bones. ‘The person’ is a part of our symbolic reality.”

In reality, Ryuuko’s really just an amalgamation of flesh, blood, bones, and Life Fibers. When we look at Ryuuko, however, we don’t see this amalgamation. We only see a shoujo. The shoujo, therefore, is the symbolic reality imposed upon her specific amalgamation of flesh, blood, bones, and Life Fibers. Of course, in saying this, I’m not trying to imply that the symbolic reality is therefore “not real” or that it’s somehow fake. The symbolic reality is just as real as anything within the universe of Kill la Kill. The difference is in how one perceives the world. To Ragyou, she doesn’t really care about the symbolic Ryuuko; she only cares about the amalgamation beneath that symbolic reality, i.e. the bundle of Life Fibers that can serve her in achieving her own ends. And as much as I don’t care for Ryuuko’s sudden existential crisis, our heroine is basically asking, “How much of me is real and how much of me is simply a specific amalgamation of flesh, blood, bones, and Life Fibers?” Well, that certainly is a pickle. Is Ryuuko doomed forever to this existential anxiety? Not if her friends have anything to say about it.

No matter what has happened or what has been revealed, both Mako and Senketsu have never lost sight of the symbolic Ryuuko. When they look at her, they see a shoujo, a friend, a partner, a sister, etc. They never see this amalgamation of flesh, blood, bones, and Life Fibers that I’ve been talking about. They don’t see Ryuuko in the same way that Ragyou sees her. But in order to save Ryuuko, they have to convince her of the same thing, i.e. her symbolic reality is real. They have to convince her that she’s more than just some amalgamation. They have to convince her that she still has personhood. What does personhood have to do with anything? Well, if Ryuuko was simply an amalgamation, she would not give a damn whatsoever about her friends. If we’re nothing more than a bundle of cells without a shred of personhood, then we should not give a damn about anything but procreation and the pursuit of pleasure. In that case, we may as well be a bunch of pigs rolling around in the mud. No offense to pigs because they’re smart and wonderful creatures, but my point is that if pleasure was the end all and be all of life, why not just be pigs then?

Why do we bother to strive for greatness? Why do we bother to struggle for love and friendship? Why do we bother subjecting ourselves to hardships just to paint a beautiful painting, play a melodious song, or write a powerful novel? Why bother with any of that “bullshit” when we can just be like Kuroido, Ragyou’s piggish (I doubt his appearance is accidental) underling, and allow ourselves to be absorbed by Life Fibers. I mean, he seems like he’s having the time of his life: “How wonderful! This is most pleasant, Lady Ragyou!” He, too, has an orgasmic experience as he’s being assimilated by the Life Fibers. Nevertheless, we as viewers recognize that this is no way to live. As Satsuki says it herself in this week’s episode, “That is a slave’s happiness!” No amount of pleasure in the world can make up the fact that Kuroido is now a slave to the Life Fibers. Pleasure, therefore, is not the end all and be all of life. There is more to life than just the pleasure-inducing firing of the synapses in our brains. But in order to recognize this, i.e. to see ourselves as more than just a bundle of procreating, pleasure-seeking cells, we have to impose a symbolic reality upon our own lives. We also have to impose the symbolic reality upon the world around us.

What’s a painting anyway? Isn’t it just a specific arrangement of colors on a canvas that somehow makes you feel good when you look at it? What’s a scientific discovery anyway? Isn’t the fact that the speed of light amounts to approximately 299,792,458 meters per second just one of an infinite amount of facts about the universe? But we nevertheless think of the Mona Lisa as a profound work of art. And we nevertheless take pride in discovering that the speed of light is approximately 299,792,458 meters per second. We give our lives meaning, and we do so by imposing a symbolic reality upon the world around us. My point is that the symbolic reality is real. It’s not some made up nonsense, and it shouldn’t be discarded for the objective reality. That’s just a false dichotomy. Both realms are equally important to us as human beings. So back to the original issue: how do Mako and Senketsu manage to convince Ryuuko of her symbolic reality, i.e. she still has personhood?

Again, Ryuuko suffers from an existential crisis because she’s struggling to see herself as being more than just a specific amalgamation of flesh, blood, bones, and Life Fibers. Seeing this, Ragyou takes advantage of Ryuuko’s temporary weakness, and brainwashes our heroine into resigning herself completely to the fact that she’s just an amalgamation. Ergo, we see this scene where Ryuuko, Ragyou, and Nui are seemingly relishing in sexual pleasure. After all, if you lose your personhood, then why shouldn’t you primarily concern yourself with A) the propagation of your own species, which is apparently the primary aim of COVERS, and B) pleasure. Ultimately, this is a question of personhood versus… well, every living creature that lacks personhood. And in saying this, I’m not implying that you actually need to be human in order to have personhood. Senketsu, for example, has personhood, which I’ll get to in just a minute as his personhood is actually quite critical to Ryuuko’s redemption. My point is simply that what separates us from the animals is our capacity to reason. And because we are able to reason, we give meaning to our lives. We’re not just a procreating, pleasure-seeking bundle of cells.

In any case, this new Ryuuko becomes primarily concerned with pleasure-seeking. As such, she kisses Nui out of nowhere. She doesn’t do it because she now suddenly cares for Nui. Rather, it’s just “[s]omething to feel good about.” Screw all the differences that was ever between us. Let’s just feel good. Ryuuko then follows her mother’s orders to eliminate her friends because, well, if she is really just an amalgamation that lacks personhood, it shouldn’t matter to her whatsoever if her friends die. Senketsu, however, say something that only the symbolic Ryuuko would care about:

Senketsu: “Yes, I will [protect Mako]. But I also want to protect you, Ryuuko!”
Ryuuko: “Me?”
Senketsu: “That’s right. If you kill Mako right here and now, that will hurt you most of all!”

Killing Mako wouldn’t hurt Ryuuko if she’s just a pleasure-seeking amalgamation. Why should such an selfish creature care about some random schoolgirl? But to the symbolic Ryuuko, however, killing Mako does matter. In fact, it greatly matters. Because to the symbolic Ryuuko, Mako isn’t just any random human being. She’s her best friend. She’s like a sister to Ryuuko too. Hell, the Mankanshoku family is like the family that Ryuuko never had. So the fact that killing Mako would hurt Ryuuko means that the symbolic Ryuuko still exists despite our heroine’s bout of existential crisis. Her personhood is just, for the time being, buried deep within that amalgamation on the surface.

Nevertheless, Ryuuko remains unconvinced by Senketsu’s argument. After all, why should she listen to Senketsu, who technically isn’t even human in the first place? From a certain point of view, Senketsu is just a bundle of Life Fibers. He doesn’t even have flesh and bones, and he only ever has human blood within him by feeding upon another person’s blood. It’s not surprising, therefore, that Ryuuko might see him as nothing more than just a selfish, parasitic creature. And since she sees herself as being composed of largely Life Fibers, she probably thinks, “I’m more like you than I am to the rest of them. Thus, I too lack personhood.” But that’s where she’s wrong. Personhood isn’t defined by the number of human cells that you have. Personhood isn’t even defined by the fact that you look like other humans. Rather, personhood is defined by our capacity to love and care for one another. When you put it that way, there’s no doubt that Senketsu has personhood.

When Mako and Senketsu dive deep within Ryuuko’s psyche, they end up confronting whatever’s left of Ryuuko’s personhood. Mako pleads, “Fine. Kill me! If you insist on staying cooped up in here forever, kill me, and quit being Ryuuko!” So Ryuuko takes a swing at Mako with her scissor blade only to find that Senketsu has taken the blow instead. He stays true to his words: “If you kill Mako right here and now, that will hurt you most of all!” In Senketsu’s sacrifice, he proves that he truly cares for Ryuuko. By allowing his own blood to spill, he proves that he’s not just a bundle of pleasure-seeking, parasitic Life Fibers. His actions show that he has personhood despite what he looks like or what he’s made of. And if it’s possible for Senketsu to have personhood, then why can’t this be true for Ryuuko as well? So fittingly, the symbolic Ryuuko makes her return by the end of the episode as she forcefully tears Junketsu off of her body. Basically, she rediscovers her personhood.

Misc. notes & analysis:

• I still think Ryuuko’s existential crisis should’ve occurred earlier in the narrative, but I’ve talked enough about this particular topic last week. As a result, I’ll just leave it at this: what I’ve written above is by no means an admission that last week’s developments were flawless.

• I guess the “Life Fiber Synchronize” vs. “Life Fiber Override” thing has more to do with the Godrobes themselves than who actually wears them.

• Ryuuko: “Is that Bakuzan? You’re still holding on to something Mother broke in half?” In a way, you could say Ryuuko’s referring to herself. These lines briefly hint at a rather under-explored topic: how much does Satsuki still care about her long-lost sister, and have her feelings changed whatsoever since she’s found out that her long-lost sister is Ryuuko?

• Yes, Satsuki tells us outright that the new Bakuzan symbolizes her tenacity to overcome all odds. But in a way, the blade(s) mirror its owner’s quest for vengeance. At first, she thought she had to overthrow her mother all by her lonesome. Just like how Ryuuko was on a quest to avenge her father’s death, a tiny bit of Satsuki wanted to avenge her long-lost sister: “Kiryuuin Ragyou, you killed my father, Souichirou, and my little sister who you didn’t even name. You shall atone for that sin!” But now that she knows her sister is alive, it’s sort of fitting that Bakuzan has split into two to become sister blades. Once Ryuuko returns to normal, she and her sister can fight their mother together.

• Likewise, remember how Nui considers Ryuuko to be her sister in spirit: “Yup, I’m just like you. The only difference between us is that you grew within Lady Ragyou’s belly, whereas I grew within an artificial womb made of Life Fibers. That makes the two of us soul sisters.” So you could say Nui and Ryuuko hold sister blades of their own. But of course, since they’re not actually related (I think), Nui only wields one half of the pair of scissor blades because she murdered Ryuuko’s father. In other words, her ownership of the scissor blade is unnatural much like her origins.

• Satsuki: “By making the least possible amount of skin contact, one can draw out the Life Fibers’ powers without falling under their influence.” I guess this explains why Junketsu was much more revealing when Satsuki was wearing it.

• I’m not sure I understand how Senketsu managed to put himself back together so quickly just shortly after Ryuuko ripped him to pieces.

• Remember the last time we saw these “cosmic waves?” Yeah, we last saw them when an out-of-control Ryuuko was clashing against Satsuki in the twelfth episode of the series. These “cosmic waves” now reappear when Ryuuko regains control of herself. I’m not sure what this means, though. It’s neat, I guess.

Subaru Academy is under attack! Oh wow, this looks to be a heart-pumping episode! Shh, I know it’s not, but just play along. Here, we see Momoka facing off against three assailants:

Boy, it’d be a damn shame if one of the characters started rambling on and on about stuff that no one would care about…

Momoka: “I see. It’s unfortunate, but I assume this means Pendragon has allied with the Trailers? And I believe you three… are the three-man cell that none could stand against in the battle of the Ruined World. You are a magician who can manipulate the atmosphere, and the one beside you is able to create airtight enclosures.”

Welp. So anyway, it seems as though this dude wields an oversized… uh, stapling gun?

Yep, it’s an oversized stapling gun:

Oh well, I don’t really care what he’s using. Let’s just fight already. Just give me something to actually get excited about. I mean, the last thing you’d want to do is to pause the action in order to explain exactly what the characters have just done. That would be ludicrous.

Staple-gun Guy: “[Your Black Door spell is] no use!”
Evil Girl: “Your magic power is only as great as a single person’s can be. The three of us work together to amplify the power of one. This barrier cannot be broken. We are the masters of this place.”

Sigh… alright. Are we done yet? Can we actually get to the action now? No, no we cannot. The barrier around these four characters suddenly begins to fade away. Momoka’s enemies are thus perplexed! What’s going on? Shit, I shouldn’t have asked…

Momoka: “I helped myself to a free ride. You, in the middle. By holding on to the two of them, you erected an escape barrier. You knew a way to escape this vacuum. I simply added myself to your little pretend train. I didn’t activate my Black Door spell for no reason. I was secretly creating a small hole behind him.”

Let me remind you that the only action we’ve seen thus far is one of the enemies shooting out four giant staples, which somehow created a “barrier.” In actuality, all it did was place a purple filter across Momoka’s office. In response, Momoka yelled out, “Black Door,” nothing happened for a while, then all of a sudden, the purple filter went away. That’s it. That’s fucking it. Outside of the riveting action that I’ve just described, the entire scene has been nothing but yap yap yap. Then in the end, Momoka creates a giant black hole, which ends up pulling in her three assailants to their doom. Hint: she wins. Wow, talk about an exhilarating encounter!

So of course, it’s now Violet’s turn to match magical wits with Momoka. Why didn’t she just team up with the other three assailants to take Momoka down? Hey man, bad guys have honor too, y’know! They’d never fight an unfair fight! Anyway, Violet’s first move is to summon Valkyrie, which appears to be a dark-skinned girl with horns:

Right. In any case, Momoka has her hands full trying to fend off Valkyrie. I can see it; Valkyrie’s twice our headmistress’s size. From the side, Violet says, “I’d better finish you off while I can.” Really? Are you sure you want to do that? ‘Cause I mean, you could’ve done that before by teaming up with your three stude-… ah, whatever. So to finish Momoka off, Violet takes Valkyrie away (why?) and summons a wyvern to battle. The creature then basically swings its tail once and, uh, it looks like Momoka’s down for the count.

To which Violet remarks, “That was certainly anti-climactic.”

The rest of the episode is pretty uninteresting too. Takeshi finally realizes that his brother is both a traitor and a liar. Y’know… shit we’ve known for quite a while now. Our hero then gets his ass kicked by this thing:

After Gekkou knocks his oniichan unconscious, Kurumi rushes to the latter’s side to give him… CPR? How is that going to help? In reality, it’s just the story’s flimsy excuse to get their lips to touch, which ends up enraging Gekkou even more. But the best part is that Kurumi’s shape-shifting powers somehow manages to kick in during this steamy CPR session, so it ends up looking as though Takeshi is kissing himself:

Yeah, I’m not sure what the point of this is. If for some reason you actually give a shit how the episode ends, Gekkou absconds with Kurumi slung over one shoulder while Takeshi has a nightmare about his mother. What an amazing anime.

Investigate the true identity of Chitoge’s first love? Poppycock! Come, come! There’s no time to worry about trifling matters such as plot progression and character development! We have a hot springs episode to catch! Anyway, I’m still splitting up the Harem Hill entries for now. And like before, I’m starting off with Nisekoi, which is apparently going to extend itself into the spring season. Oh boy!

• Chitoge insists that “[t]here’s no way [Raku] could’ve been that boy” from her past. Uh huh, whatever you say, girl. The funniest thing about this whole ordeal, however, is that Chitoge doesn’t even have any true feelings for Raku (yet). So a normal person would’ve been like, “Well, that boy from the past might’ve been him, but oh well, that was then and this is now. You can’t really put that much stock into puppy love.” But nope, not in anime. Your first love is for life, son. For life. Even if you don’t have any feelings for the guy now — and even if it’s pretty much acknowledged that people can change dramatically in just a couple of years, so the person you fell in love with then is hardly the same person you see before you now — if you’ve ever loved a boy before, you love him for life. So what’s funny is that it feels like Nisekoi is getting all antsy. Like shit, we haven’t found a good reason for Chitoge to really take an interest in this boring-as-fuck harem lead. Oh well, let’s just play the first love card! Those feelings of true love will thus come gushing out of nowhere.

• Well of course this hotel has a hot spring. What hotel in Japan doesn’t have a hot spring? I think you’re practically required by law to have one. Let’s see though… are we going with the whole “Oh no, there’s only a flimsy wooden fence to separate the guys and the girls!!!” Or are we going to go with the “Guys and girls bathe at separate times, but uguu, I got the schedule mixed up…” Boy, I can’t wait to see which of these two overplayed tropes Nisekoi will pick!

• Raku: “Kirisaki… I thought she was acting a little weird a moment ago, but maybe I was just reading too much into it?” Yeah, you wouldn’t want to do that. According to anime fans, life is a game where you try to analyze just the right amount. No more, no less. Overanalyze, though, and you’ll die.

• Shu suggests that the six of them all play a card game, but to make things interesting, the loser will have to tell everyone about his or her first love. Naturally, everyone but Shu and Ruri are freaking out about this. After all, Chitoge, Tsugumi and Kosaki are all in love with our bland harem lead — Chitoge just isn’t aware of her true feelings yet — and fittingly, our bland harem lead is in love with the blandest of those three girls.

• Or, y’know, you could just not play. Whoops, I forget that no one in anime ever has the guts to stand up for themselves. They always end up doing whatever other people want them to do.

• I don’t even know why Raku’s even concerned about losing the game. Can’t he just tell the story of him and that mysterious girl from his past? It doesn’t have to be about Kosaki, ’cause he’s got no damn clue if it’s Kosaki or not.

• So it’s the bottom of the ninth! It’s just Raku vs. Chitoge! Who ever loses will have to spill his or her guts about their first love! Uguu, this is potentially so hazukashii!

Fucking harems. Just typical.

• Ah, so that’s what we’re going with:

A fine choice, sir! You won’t be disappointed by this vintage! I dare say it has a nice fanservice quality to it, but the delayed misogyny notes will do wonders on your palette!

• And of course, Claude tricks Raku into having a dip in the hot springs even though it’s the girls’ turn to bate. I mean, it wouldn’t be a harem if this shit wasn’t predictable as all hell.

• Looks like we’ve crossed over into a shitty episode of Naruto:

• Chitoge quickly realizes that this is all Claude’s doing. As such, she tries to help Raku escape, but c’mon… you didn’t think he’d escape without first seeing some hot high school tail, did you? Of course not.

• Uguu, what do I even do in a bath? Do I, like, wash myself? Gosh I just don’t know. Cue the forced lesbianism.

• The rest of the girls show up, including the teacher, and they all go, “Wow! You’ve got a sexy body, Ms. Kyoko!” The teacher then replies, “Heh, heh… want to cop a feel?” Yep. No need to even comment on this.

• The teacher then says, “Huh? What’s this, Tsugumi? For someone who dresses up as a boy, you’ve got a damn fine body!” Is this a teacher or a fucking sexual predator on a train? “Here, let me feel them,” Kyoko adds. Tsugumi’s classmates proceed to surround and molest her against her wishes. Nope, this is not a dream sequence.

Have you noticed that the more tomboyish a girl is in a harem, the more likely it is that she’ll be sexually assaulted for laughs? So my bad. Kyoko’s not the only sexual predator here. They’re all sexual predators and we’re on a train straight to hell.

• Raku spots a hole in the stone wall… a conveniently human-sized hole that will allow him to escape to the men’s side of the hot springs. But of course, just as he’s about to make his escape, all the girls begin to question Kosaki about her first love, so Raku pauses long enough for this to happen:

Yep, Kosaki runs past him without noticing that he’s there. She then sits herself right in front of Raku’s escape route:

Nope, she still doesn’t notice him. It’s super steamy, man!

• Then in an attempt to help Raku escape, Chitoge somehow faceplants into Raku’s… lower back?

So what? Who cares? Jesus Christ. Anyway, that about wraps up the episode. Tune in next time to another episode of We’ll Never Advance The Story ‘Cause We Never Had One!

Strap yourself in for wild ride, ’cause while Nourin is as boring as ever, this week’s episode of ImoCho is a real doozy.

Nourin Ep. 9

A rather schizophrenic episode. Minami has never seen the ocean so our four friends make plans to go to the beach. Unfortunately, a typhoon hits Japan and as a result, they’re trapped indoors. When the typhoon creates muddy floodwaters, Minami goes nuts and dives into them as if she was diving into the ocean. Then everyone else joins her, and I guess this is supposed to be a subverted version of a beach episode. Unfortunately, like everything else about Nourin, this whole scene was neither funny nor did it actually subvert anything. Having the wind blow the beach ball away during a volleyball game isn’t, well, subversive. I mean, you have to have a point to your subversion. Otherwise, it’s just wacky random monkey cheese humor . Oh well.

All of a sudden, the second half of the episode gets (relatively) serious. It turns out the rice fields are in danger of being ruined by the typhoon, so the students all work together to protect them. This somehow involves driving a big bus in front of one of the fields to shield it from the powerful winds. Kosaku is afraid that he’ll be suspended for driving the bus without permission, but Ringo gives him a pep talk to give him the courage to save the day. As a result, the two of them share a moment:

But this scene doesn’t jive with the first half of the episode whatsoever. Again, Nourin is a schizophrenic anime that doesn’t really know what it wants to be.

Saikin Imouto no Yousu ga Chotto Okashiinda ga Ep. 10

Mitsuki starts off the episode by asking, “Honestly, Hiyori… Just who are you, and where did you come from?” Do we really care though? Do we? Especially Mitsuki of all people. If I was her, I’d just find myself an exorcist. After all, why should I pity a ghost that has been sexually traumatizing me for the past few months just so that she can get into heaven? The girl then scolds Hiyori for always having a blase attitude: “How can you be all right with forgetting everything from before you died, including the memories of the person you love?” Of course, Hiyori has the nerve to get mad at Mitsuki for daring to ask such a mild question. The ghost then calls Mitsuki a jerk and disappears, leaving behind only a note:

Yo… I think this calls for a celebration! The selfish, incest-loving rapist is gone! Holy shit, let’s break out the champagne!

…

But let’s face it… Mitsuki will eventually realize that she was a jerk (no, she wasn’t), and begin to feel bad for driving Hiyori away (no, she shouldn’t). Just you wait! Even though our heroine has all the reasons in the world to hate Hiyori, she’ll somehow end up apologizing to the ghost by the end of the episode. Even worse, she’ll even regret being so “mean” to the Hiyori because, uh… because they are BFFs now!

Meanwhile, Yuki stops by with yet another bag of caeki. One has to wonder how these characters manage to stay so slim. But nevermind that for now, because the real show is just about to begin!

“I-I’m just so saaaaaad! The girl who gropes me in my sleep, forces me to expose myself to my brother, and steals my body for her own personal gain… well, she’s not here to eat cake with me!” 

“That’s right! I did go too far! How could I have said all those horrible things to her! I said… I said that she should try harder to recover her memories! Oh my god, that is the worst thing that has ever been uttered to another human being. I’m literally Hitler incarnate.” 

“…it’s not like I miss her or anything… I… I just wish we could eat dinner together again…”

“…everything reminds me of her… even this piece of fried egg.”

“And she taught me how to appreciate sports! That makes up for all the bad things she’s done!”

“Plus, I would never have entertained the idea of incest before her!!!” 

Yo, maybe it’s just heartburn, you weirdo. But obviously, it’s not. She actually going to have an orgasm… again. Y’see, when she was reaching for the soy sauce, Yuuya was reaching for it as well. Uh oh… their hands touched, and we all know how sacred hand-touching is in anime! And just like that, the uber-sensitive girl is now doubling over from the pleasure coursing through her body. Naturally, Yuuya doesn’t have a clue what’s going on, so he proceeds to rub her back in order to make her feel better. Heh, she’s feeling better alright. And ever the protective oniichan, Yuuya then picks the poor girl up from her chair in order to perform the Heimlich maneuver on her, which… well, I’m sure you can guess how this will turn out:

When Mitsuki heads to the bathroom, she suddenly discovers that her chastithong is missing. Does this mean that Hiyori’s gone for good? Did she finally make her way into heaven? Of course not, but let’s see where this stupid fucking anime goes anyway. Somehow, this takes us to the supermarket where Mitsuki gets all sad when she sees a Christmas decoration:

“Hiyori was my angel…”

“I’m sorry for being so unfairly mean to you! You’ve done nothing to deserve my harsh words!”

Yep, she’s literally crying for Hiyori. Literally crying for the girl who’s put her through all sorts of humiliating, degrading shit. If this isn’t Stockholm Syndrome, I don’t know what it is. Being the gallant oniichan that he is, Yuuya then offers to help Mitsuki look for Hiyori. But remember, Yuuya doesn’t actually know he’s looking for a ghost. He actually thinks Hiyori is Mitsuki’s lesbian partner. Nope, if you’re reading these entries for the first time, I’m not even shitting you.

Yeah, sure. That’s why you started crying when you thought she was gone for good. Uh huh.

SHE LITERALLY RAPED YOU IN THE FIRST EPISODE. THOSE WEREN’T TEARS OF JOY IN YOUR EYES. DID YOU FORGET? HERE, HAVE A REFRESHER:

“But uguu, she’s my tomodachi now.”

Oh look, Hiyori hasn’t disappeared after all:

Who would’ve guessed! Shortly afterwards, Hiyori bestows upon Mitsuki a new chastithong. That’s right! Since Mitsuki complained about the previous one, Hiyori went ahead and asked the powers-that-be (probably a bunch of divine chikans) for a different design. “How can this be?!” the disembodied narrator box exclaims, “The chastity belt she was so unhappy with has turned into something even fatter and more XXX!” Oh boy, I’m sure glad Mitsuki cried all those tears for Hiyori! But despite our heroine’s unhappiness with her latest chastithong, let’s not forget what this episode is all about. That’s right! It’s all about appreciating your rapist. Now appreciate! Appreciate harder!

I ain’t leaving till you apologize to your rapist right now, young lady!

And there we go. We’ve just contrived a scenario in which a rape victim apologizes to her rapist.

Tenjin suggests that the only way to cure Hiyori of her half-Phantom condition might be for Yato to sever his connection with her. Our hero doesn’t seem all too keen at the thought of disappearing completely from Hiyori’s life, but it looks as though he won’t really have much of a choice in the matter if Nora has her way.

The uncertainty surrounding Yukine’s future
I guess Yukine’s the perfect kid now. At the moment, he’s working part-time for Daikoku, and even using Hiyori’s old textbooks to study. I’m not exactly sure what he’s studying for, but apparently, he just wants to be like other kids. Still, you have to wonder what’s in store for an average Regalia like him. Surely, they can mature on the inside — Yukine’s a prime example of that — but what is there for him to look forward to? Yes, the anime has resolved his trouble-making behavior, but not his existential anxiety. I’ve no problems with Yukine being contrite, but it seems like the uncertainty surrounding his future is being conveniently ignored for now.

I mean, what would a spirit like him do for the rest of his existence? Is he stuck being a Regalia until the Big Crunch occurs? Well, nevermind the Big Crunch since it’s doubtful that the universe of Noragami is particularly concerned about such scientific potentialities, but nevertheless, let’s assume that time will never end for Yukine. Then what? Noragami wants us to believe that Yukine’s not all that different from an actual living, breathing child — and to a certain extent, I can buy that — but his “life” is and will be anything but normal.

Most us have goals to achieve, careers to pursue, true love to pine for, etc. On the other hand, I can’t imagine that Yukine’s life will be like ten years down the line. What about twenty years down the line? Thirty years? So the fact that I can’t imagine Yukine’s timeline beyond what we’ll see in the episodes before us leaves me in a bit of a strange place. I can imagine Hiyori growing up to have a normal life. I can imagine Yato continuing to struggle as a minor god trying to make it big. As for Yukine, it’s just one big blank. Yes, he can put aside these worries for now, and just enjoy being a “kid,”, but at some point, he’s going to have confront the questions and purpose of his existence all over again. He probably won’t act out again, but still, what will he do? What will he think? Nevertheless, I feel that Noragami as an anime series will officially end long before we ever get to that point, and that’s a bit of a shame.

Being a Regalia sucks
Hiyori notices that Miyu, one of Lord Tenjin’s many Regalias, is missing. Apparently, she’s been kicked out for stinging him. Right there and then, you can draw a sharp distinction between how Tenjin handles his affairs as opposed to Yato. Yato’s faith in Yukine held firm despite the fact that Yukine’s stubbornness nearly cost the minor god his life. On the other hand, it’s zero tolerance with Tenjin: “Stinging a master even once means immediate banishment.” Still, something bothers me about the way Miyu was dismissed. Y’see, when one Regalia goes bad, his or her corruption can become rather contagious. So just hearing about Yukine’s trials caused Miyu to… uh… well, this is the part that confuses me a bit. We see her sobbing over this particular wish: “When I grow up please let me be a school teacher.” So you can imagine that — like Yukine’s desire to be a real boy! — Miyu has regrets about her former life.

Still, where’s the corruption? What did she actually do wrong? We certainly saw Yukine acting out, but we see nothing of the sort from Miyu. You see some bloodied bandages on Miyu’s left wrist during this scene:

But by itself, it doesn’t really tell us much of anything. I’ll admit that perhaps Miyu’s story has been left out of the narrative for expediency’s sake, but still… it really makes you wonder how one can go from crying over a wish to stinging her master. I mean, I certainly hope it wasn’t her feelings of sadness that ended up stinging Tenjin, ’cause that would be horrendously unfair. After all, who amongst us doesn’t feel a pang of regret every now and then? So again, I really hope it wasn’t just her crying that ended up stinging Tenjin. She must’ve done something that was actually bad. Too bad we’ll never get to see it in the anime. We just jump immediately to a scene of Miyu futilely begging Tenjin for forgiveness, and the takeaway from this is that, well, being a Regalia sucks.

On a related note, Mayu says, “Revoking your name and sending you away after an ablution is actually a generous act. Because, if you’re lucky, a new master will take you in.” Maybe, but what exactly are the alternatives? Assuming the ablution is a success, what else would a master have done besides either A) keeping the Regalia like what Yato opted to do with Yukine or B) kicking him or her out? What’s the ungenerous alternative?

Misc. notes:

• Mayu asks Yato why he allowed his blight to get so bad. Yato replies, “[Yukine] has rare, outstanding talent. I couldn’t let [him] go just like that.” Naturally, one has to wonder if Yato would have put his own life on the line had Yukine lacked potential. I’m not sure how I feel about this.

• I keep forgetting that Hiyori’s only in middle school. This fact skeeves me out a bit when I think back to some of the earlier scenes in the anime.

• I rather like this shot:

Hiyori’s excited to share her first shrine visit of the new year with Yato, but there’s something foreboding about the way the darkness surrounds her. Hell, it’s as if it’s encroaching upon our heroine. The composition of this scene is just one of the many hints we get in this week’s episode that something bad is about to happen, but I always prefer visual hints over any other alternative, y’know, anime’s a visual medium and all that.

• We’ve seen from previous episodes that Yato can instantly teleport to his clients when they have a job for him. With that in mind, Hiyori really should’ve given her crush a ring as she was being chased by the murderous phantom wolves. You might say she didn’t bring a cellphone with her because she’s all dolled up in that yukata, but I find it hard to believe a kid in the 21st century wouldn’t have her cellphone on her at all times. In the past ten years, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have mine on me, and I don’t even text or check Facebook. Having a miniature computer on you at all times is just too convenient.

• Apparently, Rabu’s a god of calamity too. I wonder how many gods of calamity there are. Maybe one for each calamity. Joking aside, it feels odd that the conflict between Yato and Bishamon is still left hanging in the air as we move onto the final arc of the series. Maybe we’ll see those two put aside their differences in order to team up against Rabo or something, but I still would like to know why Bishamon hates Yato so much even though Kazuma, one of her Regalias, doesn’t.

• According to Nora, “Yato has grown weak after meeting [Hiyori],” but that seems patently untrue. My impression is that Yato’s been a vagrant god for quite some time now, i.e. he’s been this way long before he ever met Hiyori.

Yo, before we start, did you guys know that the dude you see above is actually just 28 years old? No, seriously:

And apparently, he’s younger than Ageha, who’s actually 32!

Ah well.

Episode summary: Cecil goes rogue. Well, no, not really, but she’s investigating her mother’s case all by her lonesome. Ageha somewhat scolds our Mary Sue for not relying more upon her friends at Butterfly Law Firm, so Cecil goes to Shizumu of all people for help. But before Shizumu and the rest of his deranged cult can sink their teeth into Cecil, Kiba from Shark Law Offices shows up out of nowhere to rescue Cecil. And then the episode just ends on a cliffhanger… a cliffhanger we already got last week.

Notes:

• The episode starts off with a flashback of Cecil’s mom’s trial. Just look at this hilarious exchange:

Cecil’s mother: “Oda-san tried to kill Cecil and me, using explosives one of the suspects had–”
Prosecutor: “However! You’re the only one who claims he had any plan to kill you with those explosives. Cecil-san, who’d been shot, can’t recall what happened, correct?”

Yeah, I’d dare say it’s hard to remember anything as a kid when you have a bullet inside you.

Obviously, the justice system is heavily stacked against Wuds, but what the above exchange shows me is that Wizard Barristers is too lazy to give me a believable scenario of a corrupt justice system. Instead, we have prosecutors making arguments that are just so laughably bad, it takes me completely out of the story. As I watch this scene unfold, I’m instantly reminded that this is a terrible anime:

Prosecutor: “Due to a lack of evidence, this should be considered excessive self-defense. No… You killed the inspector with clear homicidal purpose–”

Yes, we have no evidence to support the claim that the late inspector had any intent to murder Cecil. Therefore, this in itself is evidence that Cecil’s mom had homicidal intent. QED, motherfuckers! Again, I get that Wuds don’t get a fair shake in this universe, but c’mon, give me something meatier than this. To make matters worse, the defense lawyer flat out declines to make a closing statement, which is just ridiculous. C’mon, less is more. When you stack the deck against the characters this much, it stops being believable.

• Cecil’s whole family is just shooting itself in the foot. Last week, we learned that neither her mother nor her father will tell Cecil much about the case from six years ago. Well shit, how is the girl’s supposed to appeal her mother’s sentence if she doesn’t know a damn thing about the incident? This week, Cecil wants to know how her awakening magic has anything to do with her mother’s case, so she pays her mother a visit in prison to ask her a few questions. Naturally, her mother wants to know why Cecil is suddenly asking all these questions, so what does Cecil do? She just laughs nervously instead of telling her mother what she’s learned during her trip abroad.

Yeah, I’m sure our heroine just doesn’t want to worry her mother to death, but she doesn’t actually have to say anything about the fact that she’s being targeted by (terribly incompetent) assassins. She could merely say, “Mom, I received a tip that my magic has something to do with the case, so you need to try your best to remember blah blah blah…” It’s not hard. But again, neither side wants to tell the other side anything! Just fumble around in the dark until you magically stumble onto the solution! Well, if anyone can do it, it’d our Mary Sue, but it didn’t have to be this way. We could’ve had a decent anime series instead.

• Koromo: “Grimoire 365… It’s supposed to be a book with information about wizards, right?” I sure would love to know what the previous 364 grimoires were about.

• Apparently, the latest drama is about how a former government official was discovered to be a Wud. As we’ve already learned, Wuds aren’t allowed to have government jobs.

Nevertheless, Supreme Court Chief Justice Makusu, who we all know is an evil Wud in disguise, will not hold the former government official accountable because he had not awaken to his powers until long after he got the position. Then in a very political press conference, Makusu urges the public to sympathize with Wuds. In response, Quinn goes, “A Wud as a government official? No way… If that happens, I’ll quit the force.” But why? What makes her hate Wuds so much?

I think one of the problems in the anime is that it hasn’t really explained why humans hate Wuds as much as they do. Let’s face it, bigotry is wrong, but nevertheless, bigotry is always a symptom of an inherent power imbalance within the classes of a society. Slavery, for example, was not caused by racism. Racism emerged as a justification for the already-existing slave trade. My point is that we don’t see this greater oppression in Wizard Barristers that would explain why bigotry against Wuds even exists in the first place. It just feels like, “Ugh, they’re different than us, so I hate them and I don’t trust them!” Well alright, but if you really think it’s like this in the real world, then you have a very poor understanding of bigotry and what causes it.

• Cecil should awaken to some pragmatism, ’cause it isn’t a very good idea to outright ask a judge whether or not he’s complicit in a miscarriage of justice. ‘Cause honestly, this is exactly what she did: “Let me get straight to the point. Was there not something improper about my mother… Sudo Megumi’s trial? … I am aware this is rather rude. However, I want… I want you to tell me the truth.” I mean, c’mon, she didn’t think this would work, did she? Not only that, she pretty much burned that bridge.

• You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you’re taking advice from a frog.

• Uh…

Apparently, he’s only 25, but there’s still an 8-year gap between these two characters, so yeah…

• Makusu: “For the ritual, we’ll need a lot more eyeballs. They are offerings for Lucifer, who loves the light.” Oh lawd, the bad guys are satanic now. It even turns out that they’re doing all of this in order to summon Lucifer.

• Shizumu: “But I thought you said we’d keep sacrifices as minimal as possible…” Uh, are we now trying to portray Shizumu as a cultist with a conscience? Haha, sure.

• Cecil will somehow serve as a catalyst to the summoning of Lucifer. Again, what?

• But don’t think you’ll be getting any answers from Wizard Barristers just yet!

Kiba: “You’re being targeted.”
Cecil: “Huh?”
Kiba: “Where should I even begin?”

Just spit it out! You do it! You can do what the anime will not do: you can advance the plot!

Kiba: “Anyway, this plan started years ago.”
Cecil: “Six years ago?! Plan? What plan?”
Kiba: “Six years ago, on that day…”

Quit stallin’, son. It’s been nine episodes already, so just get on with the show.

Kiba: “…you died once.”
Cecil: “Eh?”

Yes, yes, we know this already. We heard this last week. Please, tell me something I don’t know.

*roll credits*

Oh Jesus Christ.

Well, we learn a bit more about Ignacio, but hardly enough before the faceless enemy attacks once again.

Episode summary: Ignacio beats some sense into Kal, but Isla’s under attack again. Like before, Leopold wants to send the students out on a dangerous mission, but Sonia quits the military and takes most of the children with her. Kal, Noriaki, and Benjamin, however, volunteer to fight much to the girls’ dismay. Ignacio returns to be Kal’s partner, and the episode ends in the middle of a major battle.

Notes:

• In a flashback, Ignacio tells us how he and his mother were kicked out of the palace as the Wind Revolution drew near. You could say it was a blessing in disguise though. Who knows how the revolutionaries would’ve felt toward the king’s concubine and his illegitimate son. They might have gotten some flack, i.e. guilty by association. After all, a lot of people apparently wanted Kal murdered too, but our deposed prince only made it out alive thanks to one man’s mercy. Ignacio might not have fared as well. No, I’m not saying Ignacio should thank his lucky stars that his own father abandoned him and his mother. His early life definitely sucked. But all things considered, it could’ve been a lot worse. He could be dead. Yeah, his mom died shortly after their exile from the palace, but I doubt she would’ve survived the storming of the palace anyway.

• Ignacio: “Whenever we ran out of food, my mother would leave, late at night, returning with food in the morning.” Hint: prostitution. I mean, she’s even half-undressed and bathing in the river. The implication is that she had just committed a dirty deed. Still, I like the restraint here from the writer(s). The anime’s not completely spelling it out for us, and not only that, the animators didn’t feel compelled to show her completely naked. We’re not skeeving on some destitute woman just because anime fans need something to fap to. Had she been a young shoujo though, all bets are off.

• Sharon says, “But you know, guys sometimes do things that don’t make any sense.” Thanks for the casual sexism, lady. She then adds, “I’m sure that there are times when they have to do that.” Do what? Hit each other? Over a girl? I’ve never hit anyone in my life.

• As he’s knocking Kal around, Ignacio taunts, “Ariel and Nina have far more guts than you. They’re doing their jobs, as best as they can.” I know this is supposed to be straight out of the school of hard knocks or something, but puh-lease. There’s nothing gutsy about what Nina has been doing, i.e. following orders that have already been laid out for her. Nina didn’t even once question whether or not she should give a bullshit speech to her people. After all, Isla’s leaders don’t even know if the End of the Sky even exists. It’s just a supposition based on the fact that the Holy Spring exists. Meanwhile, Nina’s people are suffering because of this pilgrimage. Her classmates continue to go on dangerous missions because Leopold is unwilling to risk the lives of his own men. Yet despite all of this, Nina didn’t once consider whether or not Isla should turn itself around and head home. She just did whatever Luis de Alarcon asked her to do. Yes, I understand that she’s depressed right now. I understand that she’s distraught over the loss of her classmates as well as her relationship with Kal. But we’re talking about guts. And while I pity the girl for her circumstances, there is nothing gutsy about what she did in last week’s episode. She was merely being someone else’s pawn.

• Ignacio then accuses Kal of “stealing Claire’s dreams of flying from her.” Talk about dramatic. I think considering everything that we’ve just seen, merely saying the following would’ve been more than enough: “It’s because of you that she will never realize her dreams of flying!” Instead, the dialogue goes for too much, which ends up taking me as a viewer out of the moment because I can’t help but laugh at how overly dramatic Ignacio’s being. Kal stole it from her? Stole? C’mon, dude.

• In what universe does a nation’s leadership continually task its children with the most dangerous of missions? Even the most evil regimes in history have always valued the lives of their own children. I just can’t wrap my mind around how Isla’s leadership can be so blase about sending a bunch of trainees to their almost certain deaths. Looks like we’re going to need a new revolution, fellas.

• Sonia quits the military, and that’s great, but what someone really needs to do is to get this information out to the people. It’s the people who need to know what’s going on. They need to see how their children are being used as nothing more than fodder. Enough bullshit speeches from the puppet governor. Where are Isla’s journalists?

• I imagine Noriaki’s unwilling to desert the military because he has survivor’s guilt. Remember, he was the pilot for Wolfgang when the latter got gunned down a couple of episodes ago. As a result, Noriaki probably feels as though it would be unfair for him to run away now when Wolfgang was never given the chance to do so.

• So Benjamin volunteers to stay with Noriaki and be the kid’s partner. The two of them might die as a result, and if this turns out to be the case, those two will just add onto the list of male deaths in the anime. I find this a little odd. Yeah, Chiharu got to go on a dangerous mission, but only to see her true love die before her very eyes. Ari also nearly died, but the important fact is that she didn’t. In fact, none of the girls have died. It just seems strange to me how the story is so willing to send the boys off to their deaths and so unwilling to do the same with the girls. On the one hand, it’s a bit chauvinist that only the boys can sacrifice their lives for love and country. On the other hand, there is historical basis in the fact that women have not been put into combat until very recently.

But if we’re so concerned about historical accuracy all of a sudden, then why did the story even bother making the flight school unisex? Why go to such lengths if you’re not going to let the female characters participate as equally? Just to have the boys and the girls fall in love with each other? Nah, that’s not a good enough reason. If the girls had been residents of a nearby village, the boys could’ve still fallen in love with them whenever they had time off from the school. Cynically, I think the flight school is only unisex so that we can have generic high school tropes. Y’know, the obligatory beach episode and the incredibly mundane “Ari-men” episode? But when shit really hits the fan, the story condescendingly coddles the girls.

• Man, imagine if that “Ari-men” episode had been used to flesh out more of these side characters’ love stories. I just think how much more emotionally invested I’d be if that had been the case. But I guess The Pilot’s Love Song would much rather wait until the characters are about to die before telling their stories to the audience.

• Chiharu goes, “Ari, let’s go. Let’s believe in [Kal]. You can’t change a boy’s mind once he’s decided.” Well shit, I’m just like a runaway train then! Oh wait, a runaway plane, a ha!

• I just tune out during the battle scenes. Well, I pay attention if the main characters are involved, but I could not care less about all those moments where a bunch of generic nobodies are shouting back and forth on the bridge. It’s all just generic war shit that I’ve seen in countless other shows. These scenes are rarely done in a way that’s actually new and refreshing.

• Nina looks all shocked to hear that some of the students have arrived to the battle, and this makes me roll my eyes a bit. Hey, she could’ve turned this island around. Well, probably not; I doubt the other four leaders of Isla would’ve just capitulated to a puppet governor, but nevertheless, she could’ve exerted her influence in helping to turn this island around. After all, this island needs a new revolution, but instead, Nina opted to give a bullshit speech without even questioning it.

• Uh…

Wow, talk about corny. Anyway, the rest of the episode isn’t worth talking about, so I’m going to end the post here.

Well, damn…

Episode summary: News of an alliance between Takeda and Uesugi cause widespread panic in Owari. Jeanne gets a War Armor of her own to pil–… I mean, she gets a War Armor of her own to orchestrate, but unfortunately, she can’t seem to activate her Regalia of p-p-purity since last week’s battle. Nobunaga commands her to stare at him and, well, that literally did the trick somehow. Our manly hero then delivers a speech to his people, steeling their resolve for the upcoming war against the formidable Takeda-Uesugi Alliance.

Notes:

• Da Vinci salvaged Caesar’s War Armor, and has renamed it Orleans! In fact, Jeanne now gets to ride it into battle. The girl is so excited that she can now actually contribute to the story rather than just standing on the sidelines. Meanwhile, someone’s being a lil’ sourpuss:

Jeez, what’s his problem?

• Elsewhere, we see Uesugi Kenshin singlehandedly defeat scores and scores of War Armors. Upon his command, the ground opens up and swallows his enemies whole. We know Nobunaga commands the power of lightning, fire, wind, and — with Jeanne’s help — a maiden’s p-p-purity! Lemme guess, Uesugi has the Regalia of earth? And when Nobunaga defeats this guy in battle, he’ll be able to summon Captain Planet, right? Or is he going to be Captain Planet himself? I await this anime’s developments with bated breath.

• I’d ask where the Regalia of water is, but I’m afraid it’ll just involve water sports somehow. Hey, you never know with anime!

• Uh, apparently Caesar is still alive and is now seeking to ally himself with Uesugi.

• Meanwhile, Mitsuhide is having nightmares where the late Nobukatsu haunts him. Hey, he deserves it. The guy later tries to justify his crime by thinking, “After many sacrifices, the Oda clan is finally uniting under Nobu’s leadership.”

Or, y’know, he could’ve just done a better job sniffing out the traitors lurking in the War Council, ousted them, and had Nobunaga rule anyway but without having to murder Nobukatsu. Instead, Mitsuhide discussed the assassination with nobody, took it upon himself to make “sacrifices,” and now those two traitorous idiots are still murmuring about Nobunaga behind everyone’s backs. So way to go, Mitsuhide. You really did a great job!

• In what universe can a society develop War Armors, a.k.a. giant, walking mechas of death, and yet its people have never heard of this mystical contraption called a speaker? This one, apparently.

• Oh look, the overplayed trope where one of the hero’s many love interests turns out to be horrendously bad at cooking. That’s right, the childbride can’t cook for shit. You’ll notice that there’s never any middle ground when it comes to anime characters’ cooking skills. They’re either incredibly brilliant at it, or incredibly bad at it.

• Somehow, even though whatever she’s cooking smells super bad, it has — and I quote — “quite a rousing flavor!” But just in case you’re not sure what “quite a rousing flavor” entails, the anime has taken the liberty to include a shot of Himiko’s womb with action lines:

Then as she runs off looking for Nobunaga, she squeals, “Please quench this burning sensation of mine!” Welp.

• According to da Vinci, “War Armors are not operated, but performed.” Whatever you say, man. We then get treated to Jeanne being all klutzy in her War Armor. Did we see this with Nobunaga? Nope. ‘Cause he’s a manly man! As we all already know, when a manly man hops into a War Armor, it’s just like putting your feet up at home and lighting up a fat cigar. Now, if the insides of Orleans had been shaped like a kitchen…

• But don’t you worry, Nobunaga’s here to catch the falling Jeanne in his manly War Armor arms:

• Back on the Star of the West, the Knights of the Round Table reconvene to feed us delicious exposition. Much like the childbride’s latest culinary concoction, this exposition is quite rousing in its storytelling flavor: “When twelve wielders of sacred power are assembled, the great Holy Grail shall appear, and the world will be saved from the brink of oblivi–” *snore*

• As for Jeanne and her wacky hijinks, it turns out that she is unable to activate her Regalia of p-p-purity on command. She probably needs to feel dokidoki in her kokoro in order to activate it or some stupid shit like that.

• News of an alliance between the remnants of Takeda and Uesugi are causing the people of Owari to flee in droves. Flee to where though? Plus, who knew Uesugi was this strong? And apparently, he’s beautiful too, according to Caesar. I guess he switch-hitter.

• Oh look, those traitorous idiots are still attempting to hatch a plan against Nobunaga. Gee, who would’ve guessed that merely killling Nobukatsu and not Nobunaga’s actual enemies wouldn’t have done the trick? Naturally, Mitsuhide is all, “Hayashi and Shibata cannot be allowed to continue.” Oh, now they cannot be allowed to continue. Not before. Uh-huh. Ichihime stops by to, uh, I guess talk Mitsuhide out of staining his hands any further, but the guy’s probably more in love with Nobunaga than the actual girls in this show: “I do not need the light. There is someone who is deserving of greater light… I merely build the foundation for his brilliance.” Yeesh, dude needs to get out more. There are plenty of pigs on the farm, y’know. Don’t have to tie yourself down to just this hog.

• Avert your eyes, young ones:

Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

• Meanwhile, Hayashi and Shibata’s brilliant plan is to just submit to Caesar. Some genius thinking right there.

• Jeanne still can’t activate her Regalia, so she requests additional training from Nobunaga. Apparently, this involves having our Savior-Pig fire an arrow right at our heroine’s head. She has to perceive mortal danger or something in order for the Regalia to come alive, I guess. But to give Jeanne the proper motivation, the following exchange occurs:

Nobunaga: “I don’t remember asking you to protect me!”
(Shh, he would’ve died in last week’s episode had she not intervened.)
Jeanne: “That’s…”
Nobunaga: “I only know how to move forward. In both past and future, my feet exist only to propel me forward. I will go forward to the ends of heaven and earth and unify them under my rule. And yet, will you simply indulge your selfish to desire to protect me?”
Jeanne: “Selfish desire…”
Nobunaga: “Open your eyes and look! Look at me! Look at how great a man I am!”

And — I shit you not — Jeanne gasps as she stares right at Nobunaga. Stirring music begins to play. Images of the universe appear behind Nobunaga. It is a vision so captivating that Jeanne’s Regalia awakens!

• Then afterwards, Nobunaga delivers a “rousing” speech to all of his people thanks to the magical powers of speakers! It is so “rousing” that Nobunaga tears his shirt off in front of his own War Council:

In the end, the magnificent sight of Nobunaga’s chiseled pecs forces even the traitorous idiots to bow their heads in shame: “Uguu, we’ll lift more! We swear! And we won’t skip leg day!” Then Ichihime gives Nobunaga a fucking bowl. No, wait, it’s not just any bowl. It’s the Bowl of Emptiness!

• Here, before I end this post, have one last look at Nobunaga’s manliness:

Cherish it. You won’t see this again for at least a week.

All in all, a relatively boring episode in which little happens.

Episode summary: Hina’s father will lead an operation to steal the Alliance’s Coupling mechas, but we won’t get to see that till next week. As for the good guys, Dio has a difficult conversation with his father, and we learn how much Aoba’s father meant to our hero. Kinda boring.

Notes:

• When the episode opens, Doctor Fermi’s funeral is still taking place. Hey, I’m not one to bag on a person’s funeral, but… this guy showed up out of nowhere for one episode, contributed little to the story, stupidly put himself in harm’s way, then died. Why are we putting such an inordinate amount of attention on his character again? I guess this guy is so important that even Dio’s dad made the trip all the way out to Hawaii just to pay his respects.

• Lene orders, “Weinberg. Watase. You two ensigns, as well as Petty Officer Nasu, will be granted half-watch shore leave. You three are to remain together as much as possible.” Oh, the two main characters and the girl who will be broken-hearted when Aoba inevitably chooses Hina. How convenient that they’ll have to stick together now that we’ve made it to Hawaii.

• Ah, tch…

So close. You almost got every word spelled right, intern. For your information, “Packages (Milk Chocolate)” is a bit of a weird thing to put on a shopping list. But anyway, it turns out Mayu got an even longer shopping list from her friend Anessa. Oh boy, don’t tell me this episode’s going to be all about sight-seeing in Hawaii.

• Apparently, there’s going to be yet another military exercise that’ll involve the Coupling System. Jesus Christ, this show has been one exhibition of the show’s damn gimmick one after another. You’d think everyone would be an expert in the Coupling System by now.

• Man, I want a driverless car; it’s just one less hassle I’d have to bother with. I know Google’s working on one.

• For some reason, Aoba offers to talk to Dio’s dad. W-why would you think that this is a good idea? Not only do you not know Dio that well, you don’t know his dad at all. Why would someone who is presumably a very important and busy man in the Buddy Complex universe take the time out to hear what some nobody soldier has to say? Plus, isn’t it rude to just butt into other people’s family lives? But of course, how could I lose sight of the most important thing here: “Think of how much [Fiona's] worry about you and your old man.” Won’t anybody think of the imouto? Even though Aoba’s met her only once, he’s acting as if he’s her brother or something. That’s just the magical quality of imoutos.

• I guess since this episode is all about dads, we might as well learn about Aoba’s father: “He often told me that it was the man’s job to protect his family.” Why can’t we just say it’s everyone’s job to protect their own families? But in any case, I like how even in an anime that sends the protagonist hurtling seventy years into the future, one — if not both — of his parents still has to be dead. Aoba thinks it’s silly to not be on good terms with one’s parents considering how he’s lost his father, but he’s being hopelessly naive. Not every relationship can be repaired. Not every parent is worth fighting for. Some parents are just hopelessly selfish and narcissistic. But then again, this is anime so I’m sure Dio and his father will reconcile at some point. Let’s just hope the old man won’t have to kick the bucket in order for those two to bury the hatchet. You know how it goes. If an anime character’s relationship with his or her parents are good, they’ll disappear from his or her life somehow. On the flip side, if an anime character has a bad parent, the bad parent becomes a major character (see: Gendo).

• We then take a brief break from the main characters’ melodrama to hear Elvira and Wilhelm Hahn, Zogilia’s top researcher, talk each other up. Oh, he’s so brilliant. Oh, she’s so brilliant… second only to me, of course. Hold onto your butts, however, as it looks like Zogilia’s got a fancy new mecha in the works. They just need Elvira’s special cockpit.

• Oh right, Hina’s father is also in this week’s episode, and this is the first thing he’s got to offer: “[Hina's] a girl of age that even I found to be a handful and you’ve tamed her quite nicely.” Sounds like a great dad already. Then he proceeds to compliment Alfried’s skin… tone? What?

• In any case, Zogilia’s launching an operation to steal the Coupling mechas, and Hina will take part in it. Ah, but since Aoba pretty much saved her life like a billion times a couple of episodes ago, I imagine Hina will do something to help the good guys gain the upper hand in this upcoming conflict between the two warring sides. This will just further reinforce Bizon’s suspicions that there’s something shady going on with his good friend.

• Uh, thanks dad…

The entire room then breaks out into a raucous laughter, while Hina gives the camera the thousand-yard stare. Hey, that is funny.

• Oh my God, Aoba’s going to butt into Dio’s family affairs after all. Way to go, Fiona. You really had to open your sad, little imouto mouth that no anime lead can resist. Aoba even swears he’ll “give it to him good.” Oh, okay. Frankly, even the imouto’s got more sense than our main character: “I hardly think my father will listen to someone he has only just met…” But you think this’ll deter Aoba? Ironically, he calls both Dio and Dio’s father stubborn.

• Mayu offers Fiona to come along with her and Aoba on their shopping trip. Fiona asks, “But aren’t you [two] in the middle of a date?” Sure, whenever I go out with my girlfriend, I always have her sit in the backseat where she belongs.

• Oooh, not a smooth move, Aoba: “No, no, it’s nothing like [a date] at all. Right, [Mayu]?” Dude, you should’ve played it cool.

• As it turns out, Dio’s going to have a one-on-one talk with his father anyway.

• Ugh, we are treated to a flashback of Hina and Bizon as childhood friends:

It’s kind of weird though, isn’t it? If the anime lead is a guy, and he’s got a female childhood friend, they’re almost inseparable. In Hina’s case, however, we all know her relationship with Bizon is not going to end well. So y’know, grow up to be a female childhood friend. If you value your life, however, never grow up to be some girl’s male childhood friend.

• Hina’s dad looks a little crazy in the eyes though:

I don’t know if I wanna entrust him with any operation, to be honest.

• Apparently, Dio’s father is really worked up about the fact that Dio can no longer Couple with anyone but Aoba. I had no idea it was such a big deal. If he’s gotten such detailed information about the latest developments in his son’s life, surely he should’ve gotten the memo that Dio’s performance with Aoba are off the charts. But of course, for the sake of drama, we’ll just ignore this little fact. So it’s up to Dio to stand up for his best friend-slash-Coupler: “[Aoba] is not a man who will be shot down so easily.”

Dio’s father counters with, “This is a war! You know well how unforgiving it is!” But to be quite honest with you, it has been quite forgiving. The only time anyone ever dies is if they insist upon putting themselves into harm’s way. Y’know, like our late Doctor Fermi. Still, the relationship between Dio and his father thaws a bit after this conversation. So I guess Aoba’s going to be all, “I told you so.” Great, I’m looking forward to that.

• Mayu then gives Aoba the googly-eyes. Oh dear. Her and Bizon should really set up some sort of support group for unrequited love. Out of nowhere, Mayu goes, “Aoba. Do you want to go back? To your own time? Will this time not do?” Will this time not do? Are you serious? What about his family? His friends? The fact that he’s now stuck in a war? What a stupid question.

Talk about a drama bomb.

Episode summary: Some of the girls in the class are ignoring Inari and her friends, and she can’t understand why. One thing leads to another, and Inari ends up using her divine powers recklessly once again. Uka is forced to put her life on the line in order to calm Inari down, but this just ends up worsening the former’s condition. Inari eventually finds out that Uka is in danger, so the episode ends with our heroine desperately trying to find her way to the Celestial Plains to return her divine powers to the goddess.

Notes:

• According to Amaterasu, she locked Uka away so that the latter can “remember who she’s meant to be.” Well, y’know what, being a god sucks. I’d much rather be who I want to be instead of always having to conform to what others expect me to be. Plus, Uka has had to deal with this problem from everyone: her creepy brother, her narcissistic mother, and now the sanctimonious Amaterasu. When you put it that way, maybe losing her powers is a good thing. I still think she could do a whole lot better than Touka, but man, screw being a god.

• Man, just when you think the drama with Minami is over, it storms right back into the story somehow.

For a second, I couldn’t even who she was, so to refresh your memory a bit, she’s the girl who relied upon Inari to deliver a letter to Kouji, but Inari had “accidentally” lost it to the wind somehow. So to make up for that, Inari transformed herself into Minami in order to confess the girl’s feelings to Kouji. Yeah, it was a pretty pointless subplot that I thought we would’ve moved on from by now, but I guess not. The real Minami eventually finds out that Inari had never delivered her letter, and now there’s going to be some serious fallout over this. Ah man, this is what I get for watching a show about kids in middle school. Remember when this show used to be funny? Yeah…

• Meanwhile, Touka’s grades are apparently suffering because he misses Uka. The taming of the tsuntsun has now commenced. The sad implication here, however, is that he fell in love with her because they played the Wii together. That’s it. Did we ever see them have an honest, heart-to-heart conversation? Nope. Did we ever see them spend time doing anything besides playing video games? Nope. Do they even know all that much about each other? Nope. They played video games together, and Uka once transformed herself into a human to help a lost young Touka find his way home. That’s apparently enough to spell true love in this anime. I mean, at least give us a childhood promise or something!

• Inari: “You’ll be fine! The otaku in all those romantic comedies are pretty much real-lifers by the end.” Sure. The only problem is that it’ll take a billion volumes to get there.

• Man, I used to think you were cool, Keiko, but it turns out you’re just a jerk like everyone else:

Yeah, I get it. Her classmates are stupid for ignoring her and her friends. And yes, they shouldn’t be whispering about other people behind their backs. But when Keiko started grabbing a classmate by her hair, she ends up being just as bad as the rest of them. Her classmates might be passive-aggressive bullies, but Keiko’s an aggressive bully. Oh wow, she’s “not afraid to hit a girl.” Man, what a fucking badass middle school kid! Sigh, no one’s likeable anymore in this anime.

• Yes, I know they’re all immature children, but with a show like this, you gotta have a least a single person to root for. Otherwise, why even bother watching it? I’m seriously considering just dropping this show. The only thing holding me back from doing so is that I’m so close to the end that I may as well see how this farce plays out. But seriously, dropping the show would at least free up my Wednesday nights till the new season.

• I guess Kouji hasn’t done anything wrong, but he’s not even a real character. He’s completely underdeveloped and one-dimensional. Y’know how in some stories, the hot girl is just a trophy for all the stupid guys to compete for? That’s what we have here, but the genders have been reversed. Kouji has no personality whatsoever. We hardly know anything about him other than that he plays basketball, he took a day off to take care of his ailing mother, and he once gave Inari a piggy-back ride to class. Sorry, but that’s nothing; the depth of his character is paper-thin. He’s just a pretty-boy trophy that “normal girl” Inari will win over eventually, but we probably won’t even get to see this happen in the anime adaptation.

• Yeah, I really don’t like a single character in this anime anymore:

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think those mean girls are in the right or anything like that. But Inari’s friends are just as bad. Maru’s trying to be all tough and shit as you can plainly see in the screencap above, so I don’t even feel sorry for her when she got knocked to the ground by the girl she attacked. She picked a fight, and she got it. What’s worse is that Inari’s friends are responsible for escalating this conflict. Your classmates being cold to you is no excuse to start getting physical with them. Fuck that.

• Plus, these girls aren’t even being cruel just for the sake of being cruel. They rightfully thought that Inari had betrayed one of their best friends. Put yourself in their shoes. It certainly would look as though Inari is the offender.

• So Uka somehow escapes from her prison briefly enough to calm Inari down, which allows for all the girls to clear the air. Inari ends up apologizing to Minami, and Minami’s friends end up apologizing to Maru. Uh-huh, sure, but I don’t see Keiko or Maru apologizing to anyone. This is so stupid. Plus, the conflict hasn’t even been resolved whatsoever. We’re just punishing the wrong person. Thanks to yet another mess that Inari has created, Uka will now pay the price.

• So Touka did what Uka should’ve done right from the very fucking start: he finally clues Inari in on the fact that the more our heroine exercises her divine powers, the weaker Uka becomes. Even the girl doesn’t understand why nobody has told her this till now: “Touka, why would she tell you something so important but not tell me?!” You want to know why, Inari? Because you’re in a drama. And as required by any cheap, low-budget drama, everyone has to be colossally stupid. Uka didn’t tell you something so gravely important because she thought it was in your “best interests” not to know. Yes, it is in an immature, overly-emotional middle school girl’s best interest not to know that using her divine powers willy-nilly would spell the death of her best friend. Sound logic to me!

Like I said, colossally stupid.

At the end of the episode, Masayoshi contemplates, “I’m the only one who’s met Haiji-kun, who’s talked to Haiji-kun, who even knows that Haiji-kun exists. In that case, maybe he’s an illusion I unconsciously created, once peace was brought to this world. In that case, the true source of evil Samurai Flamenco must defeat… Is really me?” We know from previous episodes that our hero is partly responsible — if not wholly responsible — for the existence of each of the previous villains. According to the Universe, it was his desire to fight bigger and badder enemies that caused foes like Alien Flamenco to attack out of nowhere. As a result, I’d imagine it’s probably safe to say that Sawada Haiji is also a product of Masayoshi’s imagination. But unlike each of the previous villains, Haiji is merely a figment of our hero’s imagination and not something tangible. No one else has ever interacted with the kid. No one else has even seen the kid. In fact, Haiji’s own friends testified that he had passed away from an illness long ago. So what’s going on?

Haiji is Masayoshi’s way of coping with Goto’s problems. It’s Masayoshi’s way of putting himself in Goto’s shoes, thereby helping him to understanding what his best friend is going through. From what we’ve seen in the anime, Masayoshi grows and matures by literally writing himself into the story. As a result, I honestly think the destruction of our hero’s priceless collection of toys in this week’s episode is actually a huge step in his maturation. We’ve known from the very start of the series that Masayoshi greatly admired the Super Sentai-esque heroes, and as a result, he couldn’t understand why those heroes weren’t as appealing to everyone else as they were to him. He couldn’t understand why he was (generally) alone in his fandom. In order to come to grips with this, Masayoshi had to make the fantasy into a real thing. He had to live it. And as I’ve written in previous entries, especially this one, Masayoshi eventually matured and realized that fantasy was better off staying as fantasy. He eventually realized that real life doesn’t require the sort of grandiose heroism that he had so greatly admired in his childhood. He eventually realized that good and evil isn’t black and white, that the world isn’t destined to be saved by a single person.

Likewise, in order to understand and learn how to support Goto, Masayoshi has to put himself in his best friend’s shoes. He has to understand what it’s like to have the whole world doubt you. Most importantly, however, Masayoshi has to understand that justice doesn’t always apply. Haiji insists that heroes cannot exist without villains: “But good can only exist alongside evil.” When the kid eventually threatens Goto, he is exuberant to hear Masayoshi’s reaction: “If you [kill Goto], I’ll kill you!” What we see here is Masayoshi’s strong desire to play the hero again. Our protagonist wants so badly to be able to just jump right back into his Samurai Flamenco outfit and save the day. But as I’ve said in last week’s post, melodrama is a first-world problem, and as a result, it’s not always a battle between good and evil. Goto’s mental illness does not have anything to do with justice. Unless Masayoshi’s new secret identity is a therapist, he cannot become Goto’s hero.

This is why no one else can see Haiji; this is why Haiji is merely a figment of Masayoshi’s imagination. He’s seeing all of his friends get hurt, but he literally cannot become their hero because Haiji isn’t real. There is no one out there to fight. The foe is solely within Masayoshi’s mind and his mind alone. By conjuring up Haiji, and thereby putting himself in Goto’s shoes, Masayoshi can understand that personal demons cannot be defeated by superheroes. Likewise, Goto’s problem is not a problem about good versus evil. Justice has nothing to do with curing mental illnesses. Plus, even superheroes themselves are not impervious to personal demons. I mean, just look at Batman. Dude’s a superhero, but he’s also a freakin’ whackjob:

Haiji, i.e. Masayoshi’s subconscious, will nevertheless try to goad our protagonist into thinking that this is somehow a problem about justice: “You’ll have to turn into Samurai Flamenco, and uphold justice!” In response, Masayoshi needs to fight his desire to become the hero all over again. Essentially, if our protagonist tries to battle Goto’s personal demons as if they were real demons, Masayoshi runs the danger of subsuming his best friend’s own story. In a way, this arc is also about Masayoshi swallowing his own pride, and allowing himself to take a supporting role to Goto. Yes, Goto needs the support of his family and friends, but ultimately, he’s the only one who can save himself. No one else can do it for him. This can’t be done, however, if we’re more concerned about Sawada Haiji.

But surely, Masayoshi conjuring the kid up out of nowhere is a bit like making the story all about himself, isn’t it? Yes, it is. And that’s why no one else can see Haiji. As I’ve said, Masayoshi needs to learn to stop playing the hero. Since Haiji is merely a figment of Masayoshi’s imagination, how can you be a hero if you defeat an imaginary villain that no one else can see? It’s like the age-old paradox: “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” The solution for Masayoshi isn’t to convince others that Haiji is real. That’s just a cry for attention: “See? You guys are in danger, and I’m going to be the hero again!” The solution is to realize what he’s actually doing, i.e. attempting to put himself in Goto’s shoes, and simply learn the empathize.

I mentioned earlier in this post that the destruction of Masayoshi’s priceless collection of toys in this week’s episode is actually a huge step in his maturation. It foreshadows what Masayoshi will have to ultimately accept: he needs to stop playing the hero. You sort of get the sense that our protagonist hasn’t quite let go of his Samurai Flamenco persona just yet. You get the sense that we only haven’t seen him don the outfit because he hasn’t felt the need to. Even though the world is (allegedly) at peace, everyone still sees Masayoshi as a hero. They all want him to become the president of not just Japan, but the entire world. How much of their desire is genuine, and how much of it is actually Masayoshi’s doing though? Since he has the ability to shape his reality, it’s hard to say. Nevertheless, more than ever, Goto simply needs a friend. And by conjuring up a scenario in which Masayoshi’s ultimately responsible for blowing up his toys, i.e. the very stuff that shaped our protagonist’s childhood, Masayoshi is basically saying, “I am willing and ready to put aside my own need to save everyone to just be your friend.” Well, at least that’s what I think the explosion at his apartment is foreshadowing. Still, we can only wait and see how this will all play out.

But yeah, Satsuki’s right… that “nee-chan” thing is just cringeworthy.

Episode summary: Ryuuko beats Nui up, but in her hesitation, she allows the Grand Couturier to escape. Nevertheless, Ragyou is unfazed by the news. Nui swears that she’ll get her revenge as she works on finishing up the Shinra-Kouketsu, whatever that is. Meanwhile, our heroes plan their final assault on Honnouji Academy in order to stop Ragyou once and for all, but they run into a little trouble when the bad guys launch a pre-emptive attack.

Notes & analysis:

• According to Ryuuko, “…Senketsu also has Satsuki and Mako’s blood flowing through him.” She even adds, “Compared to that monstrous Junketsu, [Senketsu's] much warmer…” I thought the bit about how Satsuki’s blood is now flowing through Senketsu is a nice touch. Will Satsuki ever be redeemed in my eyes? Eh, I don’t know about that. But what we have in Senketsu is a bit like a marriage, and what you often get in a marriage is something old and something new. It’s highly doubtful that the relationship between Ryuuko and her mother can ever be repaired, but Satsuki is perhaps the last shred of evidence that anything good can be salvaged from it. At the very least, you can say Satsuki has good intentions even if I don’t particularly agree with her methods.

As for Mako, she represents the “something new” because she’s Ryuuko’s new family. Some people get too caught up on the idea that “blood will always be thicker than water,” but as I’ve said in last week’s post, you don’t actually need to be made of flesh and blood to have personhood. Likewise, you don’t actually need to share a common blood to be family. Family is just the group of people who are willing to genuinely make sacrifices for you, i.e. they’re not expecting anything in return. As we can see, that defines both Mako and Senketsu to a tee.

• If there were still any doubts about Senketsu’s personhood, we see the Godrobe cry buckets of tears upon hearing Ryuuko’s words.

• So, uh, what were the scissor blades made from, anyway?

• Oh come on, Nui gets away yet again? Ryuuko runs out of blood yet again? Why did Ryuuko even bother to give the Grand Couturier a chance to give herself up anyways? It just seems silly that Ryuuko could finally put the unambiguously evil character out of her misery, but our heroine relented. And at this stage of the narrative too! What, are we going to have yet another showdown between our heroines and Nui as the story draws to a close? C’mon, Kill la Kill. For an anime with the word ‘kill’ twice in its title, you seem oddly reluctant to actually kill off any of the show’s major characters.

• Barazo commands, “Come on, Mankanshoku family! Let’s actually help people for once!” Well, that’s interesting. I guess they’re no longer lumpenproles.

• It’s amusing to watch Ryuuko argue with Satsuki’s underlings. Both sides are yelling at each other, but they’re both missing the point entirely. Satsuki’s no ordinary human primarily because her incredible charisma has inspired such loyalty from her subjects. Satsuki’s definitely strong, but will she ever be as physically strong as either Ryuuko or Ragyou? Probably not. But despite this, she didn’t build her empire on force and force alone. She’s like that hardass teacher you hate, but you nevertheless respect him or her anyway, so you end up trying your damndest on the exam. In that sense, Satsuki is certainly strong enough to help Ryuuko in their final battle against their mother. Can the older sister go toe-to-toe with Ragyou in a duel? Judging from what we’ve seen in previous episodes, Satsuki probably wouldn’t last very long. But she can lend her strength in other ways:

As for the younger sister, Ryuuko is a bit of a loner in comparison. Yes, she’s got Mako and Senketsu by her side — and those two are like family to her — but she’s not an inspiration is what I’m trying to say. At the start of the series, Ryuuko arrived on the scene like a ronin on a solitary quest for revenge. Over the past twenty-two episodes, she’s had to learn over and over how much Senketsu means to her. Hopefully, this time the lesson will stick for good. But anyway, my point is that Satsuki had once commanded an army, and she still can if she could just rescue them from the human-form COVERS. Yes, she built her empire through fascism, but hey, you can’t say Hitler was never loved. On the bright side, at least Satsuki has never committed genocide… that we know of.

On the flip side of the coin, Sanageyama is all, “There’s no way in hell we’d let such a half-hearted punch hit Lady Satsuki!” We in the audience know, however, that Ryuuko never really wanted to clock her sister anyway. We know that deep down she’s grateful for what Satsuki had done to help save her from the brink of no return. At moment, both sisters are just not the type to make gushy, emotional confessions of familial love, and let’s hope the shows ends long before they ever do. But seriously, what Sanageyama mistakes as sign of disrespect is really just the sort of nonsense that you see in a lot of sibling rivalries. That’s why the punches did no damage to either Sanageyama or Gamagoori. Ryuuko wasn’t going to hurt Satsuki; she just wanted to send a message. Satsuki’s underlings are just too thick in the head to realize it.

• Satsuki confesses that she was only giving Ryuuko a hard time in order to toughen the latter up: “I tried to train you so you would be of use against Ragyou’s army.” She admits, however, that this was wrong of her: “But I was sorely mistaken. At the end of the day, I was doing the same thing as Ragyou. Of course I couldn’t defeat her that way. The biggest fool of all… was me.” This is the same girl who once referred to her people as pigs in human clothing. In other words, she didn’t understand anyone who didn’t conform to her will. Back then, Satsuki believed in only her vision of the world, and anyone who disagreed with it had to fall in line or be discarded (see: the no-stars). And because she embodied the Nietzschean Ubermensch, she believed that she was the only one who had the power and resolve necessary to change the world.

Through the course of the series, however, Satsuki has come to see the strength of what she cannot understand. And even though she still refers to other people and their worldviews as “incomprehensible things,” she now has an appreciation for them: “But now I know that the world is not a piece of cloth. …and that’s what makes it beautiful.” This change in Satsuki’s character is perhaps like the democratization of heroism that we’ve been getting in Samurai Flamenco. This is why she now asserts that the world is “not a piece of a cloth.” You cut and alter a piece of cloth in order to shape it into whatever your heart desires. That’s what Ragyou wants to do with the world, and to a lesser extent, this was what Satsuki tried to do with Honnouji Academy. It was “You’re either with me, or against me.” Between her and Ragyou, she perhaps saw herself as the lesser of two evils. These days, however, Satsuki no longer desires to force the world to adopt her worldview; she now respects that others have valid ways of seeing and protecting the world even if those philosophy don’t align perfectly with what she personally believes.

And to really solidify Satsuki’s change-of-heart, she bows to her sister. This is a show of great humility for a character that has always been characterized by her immense pride.

• The lack of animation during the croquette-eating scene is kind of lazy though. After all the high-octane action and the emotional breakthroughs, you can’t animate a bunch of people eating croquettes and drinking tea? C’mon, Trigger. Step your game up. The shoddiness here kinda ruins the mood established by the preceding scene.

• Apparently, Iori still has his Ultima Uniform. I was led to believe Sanageyama had the last one. Oh well. Anyway, Iori’s going to produce some Ultima Uniforms from the Life Fibers they managed to collect in the previous battle with Nui. It may seem strange to rely upon Life Fibers at this juncture of the narrative, but I still maintain that the alien life-form itself is neutral. All the wrongs that the Life Fibers have committed are really just the results of Ragyou’s pulling the strings. Life Fibers are just a resource, and like any other resource, it can be used correctly or incorrectly. Ragyou wants to commodify everything, and that’s why she’s the villain of the story. If you can use Life Fibers in a way that is democratic and fair to all people, Life Fibers are hardly the bad guys at all. Yes, it’s true that Life Fibers “wish” — and I put “wish” here in quotes because this is kind of like saying viruses can “wish” to do anything — to propagate themselves across the world and perhaps the universe as well, but this doesn’t mean that Life Fibers are necessarily parasites. I think the alien life-form has merely been twisted to match Ragyou’s dark heart. After all, how else would you explain Senketsu’s benevolent existence?

• Tsumugu asks, “Is [Ragyou] trying to dress the Earth up?” Ragyou is merely taking unregulated capitalism to its logical endpoint. You’re either a customer or a product to be sold. Now that REVOCS has achieved 100% market share, the only remaining “customer” is the planet itself. Then once the planet has been consumed, it too becomes a product. According to Satsuki, the Cocoon Planet will explode, thereby releasing fragments of Life Fibers to fly off into space in search of other worlds. Well, that’s the theory, anyway. Granted, this sounds ludicrous, but at the same time, this is just the sort of exaggerated example that gets the point across. In reading my previous posts on Kill la Kill, however, it may sound like I’m some sort of Communist scum who wants to destroy capitalism, but that’s not the case at all. Yes, most successful countries out there embrace capitalism, but no one embraces unregulated capitalism. Every successful economy has rules put in place to ensure that the system doesn’t come crashing down at the hands of a handful of people.

Nevertheless, if we’re hedging our bets this much, i.e. the show isn’t necessarily against capitalism in general, aren’t we just attacking a straw man then? Since, like I’ve said, no one embraces unregulated capitalism, what’s even the point in speaking out against it? Isn’t it already a given that unregulated capitalism is bad? Well, perhaps Kill la Kill‘s message isn’t as salient or substantive as it could be. After all, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that some shounen-esque anime series with tons of boobilicious fanservice is the one true treatise against the dangers of capitalism. Nevertheless, there’s still something to be gleaned from the show’s simplistic message. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have written so many words on it. Plus, it’s somewhat impressive in my mind that a show like this would even touch the subject.

• Well, it looks like we’ll return to Honnouji Academy once more. Hopefully, this will be for the last time.

• Yeah, the sisters look kinda silly as they took off in their Godrobes. They’re basically butterflies with tits. But hey, family functions are usually embarrassing, right? One day, these two can look back on this moment and have a good laugh at themselves.

• Apparently, Mako’s been holding onto her Ultima Uniform this entire time. Geez, that could’ve been real useful earlier.

I hope you’re ready to learn some very important things about the plot. ‘Cause I didn’t. I didn’t learn a goddamn thing.

Episode summary: Ah, why bother?

Notes:

• These spell names never make any sense. When Mui casts “Melt Projection,” her gun grows bigger and shoots out one giant shot of… uh, magic, I hope:

Naturally, her foe dodges the attack with ease. In response to this, Mui casts “Full Meteor,” which looks like this instead:

Maybe a better name would’ve been “Golden Shower.”

• Three ugly witches then show up out of nowhere to save Mui’s ass. Maybe they’re rejects from the other crappy show this season about witches. Anyway, I guess the tenth episode is the perfect time to start introducing new characters. Like Mui, they also cast random spells that you’re just now hearing about for the very first time. Honestly, the only spell that has ever stuck around for any significant length of time is “Liberate.”

• What the hell is wrong with the one on the right:

Camelot? And marshmallows from Telmar? Where exactly are these exotic locations? I thought the Ruined World was falling apart, and all that remains in it was Japan.

• Oh, the head witch used to be Tsuganashi’s ex-girlfriend. I’m not sure why this is an important bit of information for us to know, but it’s apparently important enough that Mui just has to bring it up! Not only that, she looks so annoyed too at the sight of her brother’s ex-girlfriend! I guess somebody’s jealous.

• Really?

Did she really have to cosplay as a nurse in order to visit Takeshi in the infirmary? Oh right, she didn’t have a spare set of clothes to change into, and this was all they had in Camelot. In fact, this is Camelot:

Again, where on earth in the Ruined World are these places? Well, it turns out that Camelot is in the Living World. Yep. At this point, you have to really wonder why the show even bothered to have a Ruined World to begin with.

• But before our two lovebirds can get too intimate with each other, Kazumi shows up outta nowhere to whine about his missing imouto. Hey man, it was your fault she acquired magic in the first place. But that wasn’t enough. Oh no… He had to go and enroll his sister at Subaru Academy, which is practically a deathtrap from what I can tell.

• In any case, the show realizes that last week’s episode was just too exciting! If you don’t believe me, you can read all about how exciting it was in the post I wrote on it! But yeah, last week’s episode was too exciting, so this week’s episode is going to have to slow down and feed us delicious, fulfilling exposition instead. We’ve already seen what happened to Futaba, Kazumi’s dear imouto. Now, let’s sit around, drink tea, and talk about all the other riveting subjects that I’m sure you’re just dying to hear all about.

• Like… what ever happened to the headmistress of the school? Nobody knows!

• Where did all the students go? Somewhere else, but not you guys! You guys just stay here in Camelot!

• What about Kurumi? Shrug, it’s hard to find her. So we’ll just… we’ll just, uh…

…sit here and do nothing. Yay, three cheers for exposition!

• Wait, we’re not done with the exposition just yet. Apparently, Camelot is a safe haven for women and women only. A ‘Community’ with a capital ‘C,’ mister:

That means this is Serious. As such, Takeshi needs to get his male privilege outta there as quick as he can.

• Meanwhile, the bad guys are gathering for some super important rally in a… medieval castle?

W…where are we again? Is this still the Ruined World? Ah man, who really cares anymore…?

• C’mon, you’re standing in broad daylight:

So why is the lighting so goddamn poor? Shit, this is an anime. As such, there isn’t even a reason to worry about the “lighting conditions.” What is this amateurish bullshit, Madhouse?

• Elsewhere, we see Kippei travel to an unknown location…

…to murder an unknown old man.

Oh right, he’s the “O Great Wiseman.” How could I have not realized this? All this exposition and I still have no clue what’s happening with the plot. Well then, you know what this calls for! More exposition!

Kippei: “No, no. In order to achieve Kazuma’s goal, we can’t have your little Gift impeding us in this world. That’s why we’ll need you to die as well. His wish is really simple. He just wants to eliminate Wizard Brace and the Seven Communities and remake everything again from the start. He’ll rebuild the world from the ground up. Yes, it will be a revolution.
O Great Wiseman: “Foolish…”

Kippei: “Is it? It seems very simple to me. A world made for magicians. A world where there is no one trying to hide the truth. In such a world, we’d have no need to fight wars, and no other magicians would have to be wounded or killed in battle. You see?”
O Great Wiseman: “Do you really believe such foolish fantasies could possibly…”
Kippei: “Probably not. That’s why our wars continue.”

Huh… oh, that’s right, I was writing a post. Yaaaaaawwwwn, just gimme a minute…

Kippei: “Both the Ruined World and Living World will run red with the blood of magicians.”

Makes sense. We’ll kill all the magicians so that the magicians will no longer have to go to war with each other. Perfect!

• Kippei might be done, but now it’s Takeshi’s turn to feed us more exposition! Strap yourselves in, guys!

• Apparently, the “O Great Wiseman” was solely responsible for keeping magicians from engaging in full-scale warfare with each other in the Living World. So if it was so fucking easy for Kippei to murder the guy in this week’s episode, why didn’t he do this before? Why did the Trailers have to wait until Kazuma had awaken before Kippei could single-handedly assassinate the one person that was holding these two fragile worlds from completely falling apart?

• So Takeshi leaves the infirmary early to pay a visit to his eternally pissed-off mother. Why? Because she’s going to now train him in the ways of magic. God, this show is incestuous. Seriously though, she’s always pissed off:

• It doesn’t take long for our heroes to convince Takeshi’s mother to take up his training. All they had to do is to present her with some ring.

• His mom then questions his resolve, so our hero rambles on and on with what basically amounts to a statement of purpose. Yeah, it’s about as interesting as reading a resume. But despite this, there’s an insert song in the background, so you just know this is supposed to be a powerful, poignant scene!

• Training montage! We also learn that Takeshi’s mother is training him at the cost of her own life. Dun dun dun. Takeshi doesn’t know this, however, so he’s busy yuk’ing it up with his girlfriend:

• So all episode long, Mui’s been holding onto to some stupid jewel-like thing. It turns out that the object can be used to teleport directly to the Trailers’ hideout. She even knows this, and yet she decided to say nothing until now. Why? Because she didn’t want Takeshi to go after the Trailers in his current state. Uh, but you could’ve told other people… Like your brother. It’s not like Takeshi’s the biggest, baddest magician on the Wizard Brace side. It’s not like no one else can go on a mission to save Kurumi. So why did Mui keep it all to herself? It’s not like Kurumi isn’t her friend. They’re roommates, for Christ’s sakes. But despite this, Mui’s been holding onto that damn object for God only knows how long. I mean, she picked it up at the very start of the episode. We know Takeshi was out cold from his injuries for three whole days. Then he had to train with his mother for some unspecified amount of days as well. In other words, Mui basically had the key to saving Kurumi on her for at least a week or so, and she never felt the need to tell anybody about it. I can understand not wanting to burden Takeshi with the knowledge, but she told nobody!

• Mui apologizes to Takeshi for getting him involved in this mess. Our hero then consoles her. Blah blah blah. This is what it feels like to try to make Mahou Sensou sound interesting:

• We briefly visit Kurumi before the episode ends. Apparently, she’s still stuck looking like Takeshi:

Hey, her mother always warn that her face would get stuck like that if she didn’t stop doing it.