So um… is this supposed to be good?

— Right from the get-go, we see Bam casually block the gator’s attack. I guess by just holding the Black March, he’s strong now? Or maybe he’s always been strong even though he looks weak? Your guess is as good as mine!

— I’m not sure whether or not I’m supposed to take this show seriously.

— Like I said last week, I have a hard time relating to Bam, ’cause he tells himself that he needs to kill without even seriously thinking about it. I guess these characters are not normal, so I shouldn’t expect normal reactions out of them. But who finds themselves in a killing game and just decides to… y’know, kill? And without even having to think it over for a second? Ah yeah, my friend went missing. Time to off some random people in order to find her! Who cares about them! That’s… psychopathic, man. But when Khun — that’s the new guy with the blue hair — tells Bam that the silent giant is “mild-mannered,” our hero is glad that he has yet to shed any blood. So are you determined to find Rachel no matter what or not?

— Khun starts grilling Bam about the Black March. For example, why would our hero even have it? Sadly, the truth is far less interesting than any theory that Khun might have already cooked up in his head. He thinks there must be some crazy reason why Yuri might have taken an interest in Bam, but it’s probably just due to his “cute” face. Look at it. Just gaze deep into Bam’s soul and you will instantly understand why a princess and her sword would instantly wanna help him.

— On the side, we have these two individuals facing off. Why? Iunno. Who are they? Iunno. Why do they take such a blase attitude towards taking a life? Iunno. Maybe people are just born into this fictional universe with the innate knowledge that you have to kill or be killed.

— Back to Bam and Khun, the former explains that he has to find Rachel at all costs because, uh, he belongs to her. So he’s just like an abandoned puppy who desperately wants to find his master. Man, that makes me identify with him even less. You know what word has become super popular lately? Simp. It’s being used so much that I kinda hate it. But when it applies to the situation at hand… eeeeehhhhh…

— Look, I’m just saying… if someone can just ditch you without even giving you a proper explanation, they probably didn’t care about you all that much. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bam meets Rachel at some point, and she just straight up shanks him because it would help her pass whatever stupid challenge they’ve found themselves in.

— Well, the dumb gator finally finds these two boys, but the first stage of the test is over. Now that there are only 200 contestants left, they must somehow form teams of three within the next five minutes. Obviously, gator is dum dum. And dum dum gator only wants to kill. As a result, the boys have to show him the power of boy love. By hugging the gator against his wishes, the three of them are now a team! Yay!

— Sigh… I kinda hate these dumb, random ass challenges, but it’s made even worse by the fact that these characters act like cartoon characters. As a result, the stakes just don’t seem all that high. It all just seems very… gamey. There isn’t a gamut of human emotions that helps flesh these characters out. For instance, one guy is just annoyed because he keeps being ignored. So we have murderous people and annoyed people. There’s not a whole lot of range here.

— Afterwards, the gator is still raging about their forced skinship, but Khun placates the dude by giving him… chocolate? Like I said, am I supposed to be taking this show seriously?

— So some administrator shows up and takes a look at the 120 sorry suckers in the room. As a result, he throws another test at them (yay…). If you can somehow pass through this… water-like substance, then you pass. Apparently, this substance gets thicker and thicker at higher levels, so this is a good way to filter out the scrubs. Alright…

— Our hero, however, is magically unaffected. Yay for winning by default. He gets to win by default, because it’s exposition time! While everyone else is busy literally slamming their heads against the wall, Bam gets to sit and chat with the administrator. The problem here is that the world-building isn’t even… I dunno, intriguing. All I get is that the tower is divided into three structures, and individuals like Bam are Irregulars because he wasn’t chosen to enter the inner tower. But beyond that, there isn’t any interesting lore.

— Right before the exposition dump comes to an end, the administrator gives Bam an ominous warning. All that exposition, but you won’t explain what you mean here, huh?

— All the special people eventually pass through the barrier. This includes Bam’s newfound allies. Not that this means anything to me, of course. I barely care about Bam’s fate, so I certainly don’t care about the rest of these people.

— And well, that’s it. That’s the episode. I guess we can come back next week to see what other zany challenges our hero will need to overcome. But personally, I found this episode kinda boring, so I’m not exactly looking forward to see how this plays out. It just feels like something you might casually read on the train on the way to work because there’s nothing else to do.

From Tower of God to Plunderer, I have some terrible luck.

— New week, new episode, same dumb nonsense.

— This is considered a long skirt? Wow. We truly are in bizarro-land. I also like how the military school uniform has a boob window. Girls also gotta wear pink. Otherwise, I might mistake them for a boy!

— Anyways, all the cool kids are in Class A, and Class A will be taught by none other than the big, bad baddie himself. You can’t trust anyone who greets you without even opening their eyes.

— Schmelman proceeds to explain what is essentially the Count system. Everyone starts out with two of these stars. If you gather enough stars, you will graduate and have tons of food for you and your family! And if you don’t have any stars for three straight days, you get expelled. Licht generously gets no stars, because Schmelman wants to turn the kid into a killing machine… which I assume he was successful at accomplishing in the original timeline. But hey, this is a whole new one, so who knows!

— Naturally, Hina is worried to death about Licht getting expelled, but um… she could always give him one of hers? Plus, if the goal is to protect Licht, then why would she want him to stay enrolled in this military school? No, no, I understand all that nonsense about how your family needs food, so you gotta become a soldier. But the Licht from her timeline was literally in tears about not wanting to take a life. If he stays here, wouldn’t that increase the chances of him becoming the same monster again? Is anyone gonna sit down and think this through? I’m not saying that I’m right. Maybe keeping Licht in school is the right thing to do. But what I have a problem with is nobody even taking the time to even consider what Nana wanted from them when she sent them back in time.

— We also learn that Licht is only here to try and pull his buddy Tokikaze out of school. Apparently, the latter has a grandma who is worried sick about him potentially becoming a soldier. Can’t say I would blame her. I don’t have fond thoughts about the military either.

— Oh no, the tone of the anime is getting too serious! Quick, show me some bobs and vagene!

— So, uh, does Schmelman have a hard-on for Licht or what? I mean, why does he still have that twig from last week’s episode? Does he just retreat to his office and play with it all day?

— There’s also the hilarious fact that Hina is doing her best to protect a remorseless peeping tom.

— The next day, a good chunk of Class A discovers that their stars have been stolen. Um, if they are so important — they literally determine whether or not you get to eat — why would you keep them in your locker?

— They all decide to blame Licht, ’cause golly, who else would steal the stars? Oh man, certainly no one else would have any incentive to steal those stars. Sigh, these characters are all idiots. And when everyone is dumb, it makes me wonder if the author is also dumb.

— Case in point, Hina jumps to Licht’s defense by offering up the dumbest argument: “He might be a borderline criminal pervert who looks up skirts and touches thighs….” Borderline? Borderline?!

— Well, it doesn’t take long before the true culprit is revealed to us… not that he was hiding himself or anything. Just look at the guy blatantly bullying people in the hallway. Like every anime ever, the kids are left to fend for themselves. Japanese schools are basically the Hunger Games.

— Good lord, this dude is so ugly. What’s with his eyes? Is he even human?

— Fantastic animation. Just amazing. Love the consistency in these characters. Plus, I loved that the hallway magically expanded in size.

— Did I say fantastic? I meant brilliant. Eat your heart out, KyoAni.

— We get yet another sob story about Tokikaze’s grandmother, but I don’t care. All you need to know is that Tokikaze is coerced into handing his stars over. It’s okay, though! The kids proceed to help each other out by sharing their stars. B-b-but that’s socialism!

— Towards the end of the day, the ugly bastard (I don’t even wanna learn his name) is on his way to graduate when Licht appears out of nowhere and “begs” him to hand back the stars. I say “beg” because it’s pretty blatantly obvious what our hero is doing. Just look at his right hand.

— But of course, no one else catches on. As a result, we get a stare-down between Jail and the ugly bastard. Jail willingly gave up his stars just so he can stand outside the school gates and kick the ugly bastard’s ass. These two are about to start fighting when the ugly bastard discovers that his stars have been replaced with toy frogs. No, really.

— So just like that, we get a happy ending…? Yay, we get to become murderous soldiers…?

Don’t be fooled by his innocent-looking face! Wendelin is a monster! Okay, okay, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. No actual harem shenanigans occur in this week’s episode, but they will! I’ll explain the post’s title in just a bit.

— To be honest, I’m mostly interested in watching Fugou Keiji: Balance:UNLIMITED today… if I can even watch it. Unfortunately, I don’t know who has picked up the license to air the show in the West. Hell, maybe nobody has yet. Hopefully, I’ll have my answers by the time I’m done writing this post.

— Alfred the magician offers to tutor Wendelin in the ways of magic, and he won’t even charge a dime! Gosh, what a nice guy? Why is that? My initial guess is that the man wants to pass on his legacy, and I’ll find out later that I wasn’t far off. It turns out the guy is actually a shibito, and it won’t be long until he completely loses his cognitive functions. Actually, more like two weeks.

— So for the time being, we get to watch Wendelin learn all sorts of things like flying, casting a fire spell, attuning his mana, so on and so forth. Boring stuff, really. Still, isn’t it fortuitous that the kid just happens to be an absolute prodigy? Hell, he’s even got more magic potential than Alfred! Amazing!

— I’m always somewhat surprised at the utter shameless of these stories. Why? It’s because they won’t even try to hide the fact that the main character is just absolutely perfect in every way. Escapism is one thing, but this is just blatant fantasy fulfillment. What do I mean? Well, outta curiosity, I took a look at the Wikipedia page for this anime. Since I don’t care too much about the show, I also don’t care if I encounter spoilers. And what do I find?

Despite their arranged engagement, Elize genuinely falls in love with Wendelin as they both understands the burden of being in the spotlight. She later marries Wendelin as one of his wives as the head [sic] wive of the family.

[Louise] [sic] felled in love with Wendelin since they were classmates but due to being a commoner, she at first believes she cannot legally marry him but be his mistress instead since he is a noble and faces competition with her best friend Iina, whose also in love with Wendelin. However, Wendelin reveals he loves them both and would rather make them both his wives instead.

[Vilma] later also becomes one of Wendelin’s wives.

Look at this shit. Just look at it and be amazed. First, if you’re in a rush to fill in the details for your favorite degenerate light novel, at least try to correct your grammar. I know I make mistakes, but still… More importantly, however, Wendelin ends up with multiple wives. I’m sure he has even more waifus that are not on this list. Most authors only have the balls to surround the protagonist with a harem but still keep them at arm’s length. Wendelin, however, is the Chad isekai protagonist who marries all of them. “Babe, I just can’t choose. I just… I just love both you and your best friend!” But wait, there’s more!

Kurt’s wife, the mother of his two sons and Wendelin’s sister-in-law. After Kurt’s death, she begins a relationship with Wendelin where she teaches him how to properly make love with his wives before their wedding. Later, both Amalie and [sic] Wedelin genuinely fall in love with each other and later becomes one of his wives.

Dude even goes after his own goddamn sister-in-law!

— Hmm, you know what’s missing from my harem? A milf. If only an older woman would teach me all there is to know about sex! And as you can see from the image above, this milf may as well look like she’s still a teenager. All the benefits of an older woman without the downsides! It’s totally okay to go after Amalie! Kurt is a jackass, so Wendelin can totally bang his brother’s wife… of course, once he’s actually dead. Our hero’s not gonna do it while Kurt is still alive. He’s got manners! He’s a noble, after all!

— Alright, let’s get back to this episode. Back on the estate, both Wendelin’s father and older brother laugh at the idea that the kid might harbor any sort of magic potential. It’s just cheeky, isn’t it? I mean, the author didn’t have to portray them so negatively. Hell, they could just be neutral. But nope, this is an anime. As a result, the protagonist is allowed to have one or two legit relationships with other men. There’s always the token best friend and perhaps there’s a mentor. But other than that, men are jerks! Men are evil! Even your own family members are no good!

— Case in point, when Wendelin brings home a basket of veggies, the women of the family are super happy and grateful. On the other hand, Kurt is pissed off. Women good, men bad!!!

— To be fair, there is an in-universe justification for Kurt’s asshole nature. Essentially, he feels threatened. If the kid ends up being a capable magic user, then he would inherit the Baumeister estate instead. I guess Kurt just assumes that he would have to relinquish his nobility if Wendelin becomes the head of the family. On the other hand, he’s not using his noggin. If Wendelin can use magic, maybe the Baumeister would no longer have to languish in poverty. Think about it. Think. Then again, the patriarch can’t even read, so maybe I’m expecting too much of Kurt.

— I just wanna comment on the veggies for a bit. Alfred had gathered them from the woods and the nearby mountains. Some of these veggies are probably in hard-to-reach locations, and at one point, Alfred even tells Wendelin that he shouldn’t venture too deep into the forest. There are apparently scary monsters in there. Nevertheless, I doubt all of the veggies are that difficult to gather. So it makes no sense to me that the Baumeisters could live right next to a forest and still eat nothing but stale bread and soup so thin that it might as well be water. Maybe the family is just poor because they’re a bunch of stupid, lazy assholes who can’t even forage properly.

— What’s this seemingly out-of-place screenshot? Oh, it’s just Wendelin using his magic to sense the world around him. Yeah, it’s that ugly and unimaginative.

— Wendelin confides in Alfred about the whole Kurt situation, so the latter suggests that our hero can always become an adventurer instead. And guess what? To become an adventurer, you have to go to adventurer school. Bahahaha, gotta squeeze school into every anime. Even to become an adventurer, i.e. someone who likes to explore and see new places, you have to confine yourself to a fucking school. This is anime, and as a result, all roads lead to high school!

— Clearly, the family is too poor to pay for Wendelin’s tuition, but hey, he can apparently earn his own keep.

— Eventually, Alfred comes clean about being an undead. He also reveals that his mind is about to go at any moment, so he needs Wendelin to purge him.

— On paper, this reads like an okay scene. You meet your master, your master teaches you everything you know, then your master has to depart. How tragic, right? But the problem is that Wendelin acts like a little kid. Yes, he looks like a little kid… but we know he’s not actually a little kid. He’s a middle-aged salaryman trapped in a little kid’s body, so how come he’s blubbering like a child? Does simply inhabiting a child’s body mean your emotional age will also revert? I doubt that’s a question that the show is even interested in answering.

— Um… no comment.

— Because when the credits roll, we immediately get a time-skip. Yup, Wendelin is now a teenager, and he’s about to go on the prow for waifus leave the estate to enroll in adventurer high school. Pfffffft. I’m sure his sister-in-law are sad to see him go, but they shouldn’t worry! Hell be back to claim her one day!

— Oh hey, I can now watch Fugou Keiji: Balance:UNLIMITED.

I guess every brilliant detective has to be kooky in some form or another. Daisuke goes even further and is just straight up unlikable. If you want a hero with a devil-may-care attitude, then he’s your guy. He will get the job done. He will get results. And when the captain yells, “You caught the perp, but you destroyed half of the city!” Daisuke will just throw fat stacks of cash to make the problem go away. There’s why “Balance:UNLIMITED” is in the show’s title; his bank account is impossibly bottomless. At one point in the episode, Daisuke needs to commandeer a vehicle to go after a van that contains a bomb. Instead of picking any regular car on the street, Daisuke goes for the tricked-out sports car being driven by some rich-ass foreign prince. How does our asshole detective convince the man to give up the vehicle? By proving that his pockets are even deeper and wider. Since the car costs 300 million yen, he goes and pays the foreign prince a mind-boggling one billion yen. Just moments ago, he had plowed through a street, because who cares? Money will solve everything! The end of the episode even tabulates all of the money he spent this week.

The only problem is that not everything can be bought. That’s obvious to us, but maybe it isn’t obvious to Daisuke. Can a man be so rich that he can just buy anything? At one point in the episode, it looks as though Daisuke might’ve run over a mother and her child had Haru, Daisuke’s future partner, not stepped in. Maybe Daisuke would’ve swerved his car anyways. We don’t really know, but much like Haru, who among us would honestly take that risk? Then near the episode, Daisuke concocts a plan that “safely” disposes of a bomb by dumping the vehicle into the water. Using the sports car to drive a van over a bridge? That sounds pretty badass! Unfortunately, there’s a woman stuck in the van, so Daisuke’s best laid plans pretty much means that she gets to die. In the end, Haru has to risk his own life in order to save her, and to add insult to injury, Daisuke doesn’t even bother helping the guy up. Maybe Richie Rich doesn’t think that the woman’s life is worth saving. After all, she attempted to rob a jewelry store with her boyfriend, but they’re such idiots that they ended up targeting a chocolatier instead. One thing led to another and they both ended up in the van with the bomb. My point is that Daisuke might have thought that the woman’s life is expendable because she’s no sweetheart herself. Still, it’s not up to anyone — much less a detective — to devalue a human life like that. Even a devil-may-care attitude has its limits, and it’s clear to me that Daisuke is just overall a bad person. Oh, he has reasons for being this way. We just don’t know what those reasons are yet.

But we already have a good guy in Haru. He’s the everyday anime protagonist. He wholeheartedly sticks to his principle to the point where he was booted off of the First Division investigation team. Adults often have to pay considerations to internal and external politics. Sometimes, they do so at the risk of human lives. Clearly, Haru doesn’t agree with that, which is why he finds himself being berated by a junior. From a narrative point of view, however, guys like him are a dime a dozen in anime. Not every hero is wholesome to the point of boyish naivete, but most are. As a result, they’re also really boring to watch. That’s where Daisuke comes in. He’s someone whom we would love to hate, because he’s not so bad that he disgusts us. He’s just an asshole. And maybe — y’know, after a few drinks — you would even hate-fuck the guy. Fiction allows us to explore these anti-heroes from a safe distance. We don’t have to stand in his way in order to watch him in action. And who knows? Maybe our asshole detective will eventually learn to love his fellow man by the end of the series or whatever. Daisuke is not only joining wholesome boy Haru, he’s also joining a team that probably likes to think of itself as one small family. Maybe Haru can change the guy, maybe he can’t. At the very least, we need someone to solve the problems that money can’t fix.

Personally, I’m looking forward to meeting the femme fatale. Hell, she’s not even named on the anime’s official website. All we know is that she is voiced by Maaya Sakamoto. Every kooky detective needs their Irene Adler, I suppose. But this girl tries to turn it up a notch, because we often see her toting a bazooka in the promo material.

Appare’s knack for math and engineering alone would probably revolutionize the country, so I’m amazed that no one around him can recognize his potential. At the very least, this tea-toting animatronic doll would probably sell quite well among the upper class. But towards the end of the episode, Appare unveils a steamboat small enough for personal use. That’s amazing. Sure, Appare doesn’t help out with the family business… but his inventions can become the new family business!  And sure, he has poor manners. He even destroyed a lord’s garden, but is that sort of thing really punishable by death? I guess our hero is just unlucky; of all the places he could’ve been born, Appare finds himself stuck in a small-minded town. These people seemingly pride themselves on not changing with the times until it’s too late. The only person who seems to understand him is his sister. It’s only fitting that our hero soon finds himself in Los Angeles by the end of the episode, ’cause he needs a bigger playground for his inventions. At some point, Appare is going to have to learn how to placate others just a little. He’ll need to learn how to get others off his back so that he can continue to pursue his passions. Who knows? Maybe he’ll be forced to grow up while traveling across the (relatively) young American nation.

Appare is joined by straight man Kosame. He’s the upstanding head of a nearby dojo, and he’s also equally unlucky. He has no real ties whatsoever to our hero, and yet he is ordered to try and corral Appare. But you can’t really hold a free spirit down without killing them. Kosame will kowtow to his lord without question — and he’s a bit of a traditionalist himself — but he’s still a nice guy. He doesn’t want Appare to die. He just wants the kid to be normal. As a result, Kosame keeps trying and trying to talk things out. He keeps trying when he should’ve given up a while ago. As a result, one thing leads to another and both men find themselves in America. Maybe Kosame shouldn’t have freaked out on the steamboat, but as they say, hindsight is 20/20. And now that they’re on a whole new continent, he needs to do the opposite of Appare. He needs to open his mind a little.

In any case, I enjoyed the opening episode. I don’t think the show will be particularly thought-provoking, but watching a colorful cast of characters race across the wilderness of America seems like a fun idea. It’s like an anime version of Rat Race. I just hope that it doesn’t cop-out with the ending like Rat Race.

Sakura Wars the Animation Ep. 2

Um, these girls aren’t very smart. White Cape, a masked vigilante, has been making waves in the news lately, and Hatsuho isn’t a fan. Towards the second half of the episode, a dude in a black cape shows up and attempts to kidnap Klara. For simplicity’s sake, let’s just call him Black Cape until the anime decides to give him a proper name. So what does Hatsuho do?

She insists over and over that Black Cape must be White Cape. The color is in the name, woman! White and black are not the same! But wait, it gets better! All five girls try to protect Klara and still somehow manage to fail. Black Cape is that strong, I guess. He’s about to escape with Klara when White Cape finally shows up to lend a hand. Hatsuho’s response?

I’m speechless. Let’s just move on from Hatsuho. After all, Sakura is also a very special case. After saving Klara and driving Black Cape off, White Cape makes her getaway. Sakura tries to chase after her, but bumps into Miss Hakushu instead. Wait a minute…

Hmm… let’s take a look at these two faces again.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm… Guess what? Sakura is none the wiser. Sigh. Anyways, Klara is despondent, because she blames herself for all the recent attacks. And before the girls can cheer her up, Russia is here to party.

Shokugeki no Soma S5 Ep. 1

Yeah, I skipped over season four. I didn’t get to personally see Soma and friends take down Azami, but that’s okay! After all, doesn’t the new teacher kinda look like Azami with the pale skin and black hair? And the OP doesn’t pull its punches. We know right off the bat that Soma and this new teacher are gonna face off against each other. It might be a new season of Shokugeki no Soma, but nothing has fundamentally changed since season one. People still have insanely orgasmic reactions to food, girls like Ikumi still only exist to flaunt their breasts, Soma and Erina still tip-toe around the fact that they’re made for each other, and there’s gonna be yet another tournament because that’s all chefs do. Chefs battle endlessly. Hmm, what else? Oh yeah, it looks like Erina’s gonna be a damsel-in-distress again! Yay!

I hear that the manga has come to an end, so this is probably going to be the last season unless they do a split-cour kinda thing. But it doesn’t really matter. I’m not really here because I give a damn about the story. I just miss going out to restaurants.

I have no clue how I’m supposed to react to Echo relieving himself all over Duchamp’s “Fountain.”

— Starting from the top, old timers in LIverchester liked to scare young Echo with scary stories about the Earless. For example, people would wander into a nearby forest and turn into the Earless. Well, that pretty much means it’s true. The people part, that is.

— I kinda like the OP. The two kids get to look like huge dorks in it — huge dorks having fun.

— Fast forward to the present and reality is quickly settling in. The adrenaline was worn off for Echo, so he’s now in despair. I guess he’s worried that he may never get to come home and see his sister again. I doubt that, but you gotta put yourself in the kid’s shoes.

— Mu tries to cheer him up by telling him to look towards the horizon. After all, the world is their oyster and all that jazz. Too bad reality also settles in for her as well. Without her memories, she doesn’t exactly know what to do or where to go. I feel the same way when I try to play any sort of open-world game.

— Out of nowhere, the Earless attack. Well, not exactly out of nowhere. It quickly becomes apparent that these three weirdo sisters are able to control the Earless to some extent. They are probably responsible for the attack on Liverchester, too. Unfortunately, Mu is unsuccessful this time in driving the Earless away.

— Why didn’t her ultimate attack work? Echo thinks it’s because she hasn’t given it a name. Uh, I don’t think it had a name in the first episode, did it?

— There’s an odd moment during Echo and Mu’s conversation by the fire. He seems to know know what humming is. He acts like it’s something that other cultures might practice, but certainly not his culture. Huh? Surely, he’s heard music before. Don’t tell me he’s never tried to hum the tune.

— In any case, Echo hatches a plan: if they pay a visit to other Players, maybe one of them might recognize Mu. Well, it’s a start. More importantly, it’s not like they’ll have to go very far. Those three sisters are Players, and they certainly recognize Mu.

— Echo also starts talking about the Player from his memories — the one we saw rocking out at the very start of the series. Is he also the one responsible for Liverchester’s ruin? I don’t remember exactly. Nevertheless, he seems to have a necklace just like Mu. Hell, he might as well be a genderbent Mu, and there’s apparently a good reason for that.

— When Echo wanders off to take a piss, he finds a rather odd restroom in the middle of nowhere. The word “Dada” can be seen in the background. Is the architecture Dada-esque? I dunno, maybe. I’m not exactly an expert in art movements. My understanding of Dadaism is cursory at best, i.e. it’s a reaction against traditional rationalism. Nevertheless, the creepy building alone should give Echo pause, but a boy’s gotta piss when a boy’s gotta piss. It’s all in his head, though. The anime cuts to what’s actually happening, and we just see Echo standing in the middle of an empty clearing. I guess the three sisters have some sort of ability to make you hallucinate.

— The three sisters eventually confront Echo, and they continue to spew more cryptic stuff. They refer to Mu’s necklace as a “Core Part.” They ask if she’s a true successor or if she’s merely a “remnant of the Collapse.” Essentially, they are also a big fan of the Player — y’know, the one from Echo’s memories. I wonder what could possibly be Dada-esque about him, though. In fact, I don’t think I’ve listened to too many Dada-esque music.

— We then get this weird segment in which Echo geeks out over the three sisters because they are also found in the Players almanac. He proceeds to ask them for an autograph, and the three sisters are all too happy to comply. This boy has no sense of preservation. Even if they are Players, they just appeared out of nowhere in the middle of a dark, scary forest. C’mon, man.

— Eventually, Mu wakes up to go look for Echo, and she too falls for the three sisters’ visual trickery. And again, they refer to her as the successor of the Dada world, which involves destroying the current world. If the current world is bound by logic and reason, destroying the world seems like the most extreme route you could take. But hey, that’s why these sisters are villains, right?

— The sisters summon forth a bunch of Earless, and confirm that the Earless are people. In fact, they are people who tried to become Players but failed. Well, I suppose I shouldn’t jump the gun. They haven’t really “confirmed” anything. We have no clue if we can really believe anything that the sisters say.

— I know that feeling.

— In any case, the attack triggers some of Mu’s dormant memories, so we get a better look at the Player. Yup, that’s a genderbent Mu. She’s related to him in some form or fashion. Reincarnation or clone, I have no clue.

— Mu is eventually provoked into punching what she believes to be Echo… but of course, if she really did punch him with their Equipment, he would’ve been obliterated. Again, it’s all just an illusion. But Mu is in shock, and as a result, she succumbs to the horde of Earless. Echo wakes up later only to find Mu unconscious just like he was.

— All of a sudden, a third party arrives. If you stick around for the next episode preview, the kids seem to be just fine. Sometimes, I feel like we should just get rid of previews because they tend to destroy any sort of tension the viewer might feel.

— Again, we certainly didn’t get a boring episode. I just don’t really know what to think of the three sisters and all this talk about Dada. It’s hard for me to think that the man they worship can possibly be Dada, but we’ll see.

I guess before a woman can prove that she can draw, she needs to prove that she can lift? It’s all about the gains, man.

— Leo’s not completely heartless, so he gives Arte a bunch of money to fix up her shack. This means grabbing the wheelbarrow and paying a visit to the marketplace. Hm, did they really sell meat skewers back in 16th century Florence? I’m asking seriously, by the way. I wouldn’t know this sort of thing. History was never really a passion of mine.

— When it comes time to buy wood, our heroine runs into the same ol’ problems again, i.e. most of these men are too sexist to even take her money. Money is money, man.

— Arte eventually does manage to buy a few planks of wood, but she has trouble dragging them home. She takes a tumble at one point and is about to cry, but like last week, she tells herself that a boy wouldn’t cry in her shoes. Eh… I wish the mangaka had taken a difference approach to equality between the sexes. It shouldn’t simply be, “If you can do it, so can I.” We should go a step further and say, “No matter your gender, you shouldn’t feel any shame in doing whatever you want to do.” Within reason, of course. I shouldn’t have to say that stuff like murder are off-limits, but there are devil’s advocates out there. Anyways, my point is that I don’t have a problem with girls crying. I don’t have a problem with boys crying either. If you are a human being and you feel the need to cry, just do it. Crying serves an important function.

— Anyway, some baby-face guy by the name of Angelo shows up and instantly tries to help Arte. First, he cleans her wounds and bruises, then offers to help her carry the wooden planks. But even though he has good intentions, he still comes across as patronizing. As a result, Arte rejects his help.

— Would a guy back in 16th century Florence overreact like this to holding a girl’s hand? Or is this just another example of anime tropes leaking into places where they shouldn’t be?

— Eventually, Arte makes it back to the workshop and immediately gets to work. And after a week has passed, she’s done. It even looks good on the inside. Unfortunately, it’s not very well-insulated. The shack will get very cold in the winter, but I guess Arte can worry about that when the time comes.

— I’m just kinda surprised that Arte would even know how to fix up a shack on her own. This isn’t about being a girl or a boy. This isn’t even about being young or old. I’m an adult man, and I wouldn’t jump headfirst into construction. I would at the very least consult some DIY resources. So y’know, this scene just feels unrealistic regardless of Arte’s age or gender.

— When Leo sees the results, he’s impressed. As a result, we get anime’s patented head-pats. Lame. It’ll be doubly lame if this is the story’s attempt to build towards a romantic relationship between these two. For now, Arte is appreciative of the fact that Leo never points out her gender. I’ll be more than happy if he simply serves as a father figure to her.

— I know what some people are gonna say. They love screaming at the top of their lungs that we shouldn’t impose our contemporary morals on the past. No, this isn’t about that. I’m not going to call Leo a pedophile if he ends up in a relationship with Arte. I just don’t want to watch it. It’s that simple.

— The perspective then jumps to Angelo. He just has this compulsion to help women out no matter what. Why? It’s because he lives with a bunch of spoiled sisters. They apparently can’t even rub their own feet. Since he was told by his own father to protect his sister, I guess Angelo just feels uncomfortable if he can’t help women in general? Pfft. I mean, even if he feels as though he needs to help all women, his reaction to Arte’s rejection is a bit extra, don’t you think?

— Anyways, he happens to bump into Arte again one day. She’s actually at his master’s workshop, begging to sketch one of the sculptures. But again, women bad, blah blah blah. And again, Angelo wants to lend a hand only to be rejected. He wants to help her so bad, he’s willing to sneak her into the workshop and risk getting himself into trouble. He’s a helpful guy, but he’s not very empathetic. He can’t seem to understand that Arte wants to do things on her own even though she’s spelling it out to him directly.

— Arte confronts Angelo’s master one more time, so the old man pulls a Leo and gives our heroine yet a seemingly impossible task. He wants her to carry heavy sacks of clay all by her lonesome. Eh… I’m fine with a show about a heroine shattering glass ceilings, but I’m already kinda tired of these labor-intensive tests, y’know? I kinda want to move on from that. There are other challenges for Arte to overcome. I don’t want to keep watching her impress men through physical labor.

— Eventually, Arte gets the job done anyways, because she’s as stubborn as a mule. But again, my credulity is stretched, ’cause she’s fourteen. Male or female, it doesn’t matter. Teenagers, however, are not that strong. Clay is heavy, man.

— Still, she impresses Angelo’s master. When she’s unable to sketch after losing her grip strength, he even tells her that she can come back the next day. It’s like flipping a switch.

— But Angelo doesn’t get it. Once more, he tries to help even though Arte has never asked for his assistance. He tells the girl that she should just join his workshop. This way, he can help her! Dude, get a damn clue.

— Well, Arte hammers her reasons into his thick skull one more time; she tells him that she just wants to be able to do things on her own. It’s not that complicated. And just like that, Angelo somehow gains an epiphany.

— When he returns home that night, he tells his sisters to try and solve their own problems without his help. Every dude in this show is getting their switches flipped.

— Honestly, I thought the episode was a little boring. I want to see Arte face new challenges and not just rehash ones we’ve already seen. As for Angelo, he seems like a doofus. Maybe now that Arte has explained her mentality, he’ll become a better character. Finally, Leo barely had any screentime, so I can’t really comment on how he’s developing.

Man, this is just sex with extra steps.

— Gleipnir kicks off this week with a quick look into Hikawa’s past. She was on the track team (and probably still is), she wasn’t doing so hot, she found a coin, so she wished for better legs. Unfortunately, the vending machine and its weird inhabitant is kinda like the fabled monkey’s paw. Hikawa got what she wanted, but she now also has the ability to turn into a beast. Like Shuichi, she wants no part of it. Since then, she has been frantically searching for another coin until she overheard Clair — can I just add an ‘E’ to her name ’cause it’s seriously bugging me — showing one off to Shuichi. How lucky for her and unlucky for them.

— Man, even when a girl is weed-whacking, this anime has to sneak in a panty shot. Like I said last week, this show is horny as fuck. But hey, if all that pent-up sexual frustration gives us an interesting story, then whatever. I’m just not so sure we’re going to get that interesting story… from start to finish, anyways.

— Back to the present, Hikawa is obviously going to kill both Clair and Shuichi. Even in her flashback, we could see that she wasn’t a very good person. She was consumed by jealousy, and she would often take her anger out on her juniors. She didn’t physically do anything to them, but that in of itself is meaningless. Lots of people don’t hurt you, but that is only because they can’t. People might not do bad things because they are bound by the law and not because they know that what they’re doing is wrong. In any case, the story is priming you for Hikawa’s death.

— Shuichi, however, is like a lot of anime protagonists: he’s hesitant, scared, full of anxiety, so on and so forth. So instead of defending himself, he just picks Clair up and runs away. Nah, if anyone’s going to kill Hikawa, it’s going to have to be Clair. After all, she has already tried to take a life. Granted, it was her own life, but you know what I mean.

— All of this is fine on paper, but some of the execution leaves me wanting. For instance, Shuichi asks, “H-How’d you know she was an enemy?” I dunno, maybe the part where Hikawa broke into someone’s home then screamed, “You bitch! I’ll kill you.” That’s usually what enemies do, my dude. Shuichi then follows that dumb question up with, “You had the pepper spray ready!” I mean, I wish it wasn’t this way, but I feel like most girls should have pepper spray within arm’s reach. But I won’t get into it.

— It doesn’t take long before Clair takes notice of the zipper on Shuichi’s back. She’s curious to see what’s on the inside. She then goads the guy into letting her unzip the fursuit by suggesting that she might even find his true power on the inside… whatever that means.

— But there’s nothing in there! It’s just one gaping, fleshy hole… a fleshy hole that you might wanna penetrate. Wait, what?

— Shuichi starts to despair, because this totally means that he’s empty. I dunno, that’s an odd reaction to me. Why does anything need to be on the inside? Why can’t he just be the fursuit? Well, okay, he doesn’t want to be the fursuit, so this is his way of rejecting himself. I wouldn’t want to be a fursuit either! But still, what I’m trying to get across is that just because the fursuit is empty, it doesn’t mean that he himself is empty.

— Alright, time for some raunchy-ass sex. I mean, just look at these lines… the author wasn’t even subtle about it:

Hell, before she even climbed in, Clair fingered Shuichi’s insides. You can’t skip foreplay.

— Can a fursuit blush? Gleipnir says yes.

— Girl penetrates guy, guy has an orgasm — standard stuff, really. Then once they are fully connected, they finally acquire the sort of intimacy that only a close couple would have. He understands a bit about her, and vice versa. Shuichi also gets to see one of Clair’s important memories. Kinda funny how the best way to understand each other is to do what a lot of people in Japan are apparently not doing.

— Together, they can beat Hikawa. It’s kind of a thesis, antithesis, and synthesis kinda deal. Shuichi is strong in a couple ways, but he has such a weak will. We know from the first episode that he’s really smart. In fact, he’s at the top of his class. He should have gotten the principal’s recommendation. But instead, he turned it down because he wanted to hide within the normal. It’s the same thing with the fursuit. All this physical strength and speed, but the boy doesn’t know what to do with it unless his instinct to be a white knight kicks in. Otherwise, he simply wants to run and hide.

— On the other hand, you have Clair, who has no special abilities whatsoever that we know of. But she’s determined as hell. When she wants to do something, she does it. She’s even able to kill herself, and she would have had Shuichi not intervened. So together, they become whole… kinda.

— Because ultimately, Shuichi is just handing his agency away. He didn’t really solve his anxiousness and indecisiveness by forming a union with Clair. He is just giving the keys to someone else.

— There’s also the implication of Clair doing the penetration and thereby reversing the traditional sexual power dynamic. Through femdom, she’s taking Shuichi’s inherent power and privilege for herself so that she can use them to exert her influence on the world.

— And with her newfound strength, Clair proceeds to mercilessly pummel Hikawa. When the latter refuses to answer any of Clair’s questions, our heroine uses the fursuit’s gun and ends her attacker’s life. Well, I guess she’s the attacker now. Naturally, we hear Shuichi begging Clair to stop. He sounds powerless, but I don’t know if he truly is powerless. Maybe he could’ve taken back control from Clair if he really wanted to, but y’know… weak will and all that. In some sense, you could even say that this is a yet another example of him running away. By acquiescing to Clair, he can avoid accepting responsibility for the situation. He can pathetically curl up into a ball and cry all about how there was nothing he could’ve done to prevent this. Luckily, the story already primed us to dislike Hikawa, so whatever.

— And of course, the afterglow.

— What happens afterwards? Well, I assumed they buried the body somewhere. You can’t just leave Hikawa’s corpse out in the open for people to find. Shuichi and Clair then lay low for a while until she decides — and I’m sure she’s gonna do most of the decision-making between them — to reach out to him.

— Still, my cynical ass can’t help but feel that this is also a shameless fantasy fulfillment scenario where the hot gyaru inexplicably takes an interest in the nerdy loser. Those are pretty common, after all. You even get a scene where Clair walks up to Shuichi in class, and as a result, she makes their “relationship” official to all of his friends. Oh yeah, he totally doesn’t want this, you guys. Hot girl claiming me in front of my buddies? Ohmygod, so embarrassing.

— The girl is hooked on femdom.

— Meanwhile, Shuichi says the usual anime protagonist stuff like, “It doesn’t bother you?! You killed someone!” Still, this is fine. This is far better than a certain other show where another protagonist suddenly tells himself that he needs to take a life without even deliberating about it. Shuichi still has his morals intact.

— Clair can’t really do anything without Shuichi’s powers, so she has to get him to trust her. This means making herself vulnerable. First, she reveals what she’s after. Apparently, her sister Elena had turned into a monster and killed their parents. Since then, big sis has gone missing. Clair had no way of finding her, because she was powerless. But obviously, everything changes with Shuichi in the picture. You gotta wonder, however, if big sis had a good reason to kill their parents. After all, you don’t lose your mind when you transform, and I doubt she killed them for a coin.

— Second, because she is powerless without him, she might as well be dead if he ever dies. And again, she would’ve been dead without him. To prove her point, when Shuichi suggests that he might want to die now, Clair goes and tries to jump to her death. Naturally, Shuichi’s instincts kick in once more. If he truly doesn’t want to fight and kill, he could just let her go. He could free himself from whatever mess she’s going to drag him into. You could even argue that he’s respecting her wishes by letting her die. After all, she has now tried to kill herself twice. But in the end, Shuichi just can’t help himself… like how he couldn’t help himself when he pulled down her panties in the first episode. Sure, sure.

— Right before the credits roll, we see a girl making a wish to the weird vending machine dude. She doesn’t have a wish for herself, though. She is apparently obsessed with Shuichi. Or she was? Is this a flashback scene? After all, she has that stupid bear for an accessory. And she claims that she wants to be with Shuichi forever. Our hero knows nothing about the coins. Unless his memories have been erased, he has no recollection of ever making any sort of wish that might have given him his fursuit powers. We also know that the weird vending machine dude never gives you exactly what you want. There’s always some drawback that you probably didn’t expect. So maybe the girl is now forever with Shuichi, but she can longer even express herself. Ah well, I’ll just wait to see what next week’s episode will reveal.

— Is this an interesting show? Kinda? And even then, maybe only for now. I’m probably being too pessimistic, but we should take Clair’s words to heart. Other people are going to come after them, and this only means one thing: more and more battles. If the show can focus on the relationship between Clair and Shuichi and all of the related sexual baggage that comes with their kinks, then I might not get too bored. But if it’s gonna be one long series of fights with escalating power levels, then it’ll be just another bog standard anime. Gleipnir finds itself standing at a crossroads.

Basically, your average Monday.

— It’s time for everyone to submit their career plans, but Tohru tells her friends that nothing has changed for her. She still intends to get a job in order to support herself. Arisa then suggests that our heroine could always marry one of the boys and not work. Mmm, progressive. Besides, doesn’t the tsundere always win?

— So as you can guess, this episode is all about future plans and aspirations. For the Sohmas, however, they are magically under Akito’s thumb for reasons that have yet to be fully revealed, so some of them, i.e. Kyo, can’t even dare to think about what they really want to do. Others have a little more hope, but that hope can be dashed by any point if Akito feels threatened. I guess this is something that future episodes are gonna have to explain to me. Being the head of a household is one thing. Being able to completely boss people around and dictate their future is a bit ridiculous, no? Why would the rest of the family tolerate this? I just can’t wrap my mind around that fact. She must have some sort of control over them that isn’t readily apparent.

— Anyways, Tohru and Kyo pay Kazuma a visit, and like always, the men are useless when it comes to preparing food. Guess who gets to do all the cooking? It’s the girl! Sure, Kyo helps, but it’s kinda lame, isn’t it? Having to cook even though you’re a guest? But Tohru is Tohru, so she’s always delighted to do things for others. She’s always delighted to spin every situation in the most positive light. When Kyo and Kazuma have a disagreement, she still beams with happiness. Even when she gets smacked, she smiles. I guess this mentality is the only way she’ll ever be able to solve the Sohma’s problems. She has to be this super positive force of nature that can’t be denied. The clouds of negativity will simply dissipate before her radiance.

— Guess what they’re making? It’s anime’s favorite food (because good ramen is too time-consuming to make)!

— At one point, Kazuma has to leave and have a talk with Kyo’s actual father. Here’s where the whole bad parent schtick rears its ugly head yet again in this series. Kyo’s father is concerned that his son will soon graduate and thus be able to roam freely. ‘Cause y’know, cat = bad. He blames Kyo for his wife’s death, and he hopes that Kazuma will help them confine the kid when the time comes. Obviously, bad parents exist. But like I’ve said before, with Fruits Basket, it feels like there are bad parents in every nook and cranny. Digging a hole for treasure? Oh look, there’s another bad parent. Shoot down a balloon that is carrying a present? A bad parent! Trying to catch a rare fish? Yes, you guess it! It’s a bad parent! Kyo’s father is yet another example. And when you use this same idea over and over, the audience grows numb to it. At least, I do. I feel like I can’t even feel as bad as I should for Kyo, because I’ve seen this sort of thing so many times already in this series.

— There’s nothing more to say here other than that Kyo’s father is obviously the true monster (ho ho ho). The only part I like is when Kazuma goes, “You are no parent of his, so you will never understand.” It’s not an original thought, but it bears repeating. People get really hung up on blood and blood ties, and this antiquated mentality allows toxic families to entrap people. I know people in real life who have been hurt over and over by their families, but they still come crawling back to them for more punishment.

— Plus, Kazuma’s statement sets the stage for the eventual “showdown” against Akito. She may be the head of the family, but so what?

— After hanging out with Kyo and Kazuma, Tohru has a brief encounter with Momiji. It’s the same deal with him. He has an idea of what he wants to do in the future, but he might not be allowed to do it. Yuki is likewise in the same boat. You kinda see this sort of thing from time to time in real life, though. For example, maybe you want to choose your own major, but your parents say they’ll disown you if you don’t become a doctor. Y’know, something like that. Fruits Basket takes this common family dilemma to its utmost extreme. Imagine getting locked up in a dark room just because you want to be an artist or whatever.

— When Tohru asks Kyo later if he intends to take over Kazuma’s dojo, he has to spell it out for her. Not only does a Sohma not get to decide what they want to do, he’s also the family pariah.

— Kyo, however, quickly turns things around on Tohru. I guess she’s somewhat cat-like. People often say it’s hard to tell if a cat is in pain, because they tend to hide it. Tohru always tries to be cheerful and upbeat, so she is hiding the fact that she too is worried about the future. She doesn’t have it all figured out, because few teenagers do. What follows is yet another crying session as Tohru opens up about her anxieties.

— I should be more sympathetic, but I just feel like Tohru is almost too perfect for her own good. Even her flaws are something like, “She hides her worries from the people she cares about.” What a monster.

— Then Shigure pops his head in and gives this silly laundry analogy that basically boils down to, “Just take it one step at a time.” I guess people need to be reminded every now and then that Rome wasn’t built in a day.

— In the end, everyone in the household eats somen together. Man, I could go for some of that. Goddamn this quarantine.

There’s never a dull day in Anima City.

— I always knew that canines had a keen sense of smell, but when Shirou takes a whiff of Michiru’s student ID, he can actually look into her past. He can see how she used to be human, how her best friend was the first to transform, and then it happened to her. Wow, what a bizarrely powerful nose. I suppose this is a convenient way to help him understand that Michiru is telling the truth without having to do any sort of extra sleuthing on his own.

— Anyways, this week’s episode introduces us to Sylvasta Pharma. They have a rather unique-looking building, don’t they? I wonder how you would even construct something like that. Plus, I usually don’t expect a medical center to look like an evil mastermind’s lair.

— After determining the veracity of Michiru’s claims, Shirou decides to imprison our heroine inside her own room. He even takes great measures to ensure that she doesn’t get out. I guess I’m not sure if he stacked all that furniture against the door for comedic effect or if he actually respects her hidden abilities. I also don’t know why he needs to keep her confined. She passes as a beastman; even he didn’t believe her until he took a whiff of her ID, and nobody else (as far as we know) has his ability. It doesn’t really matter anyways, because the mayor will soon show up and lend the girl a hand.

— Rose has a new job for Shirou. Apparently, bombers have been targeting Sylvasta Pharma under the pretense that all this money and technology shouldn’t be wasted on beastmen. Y’know, that makes me wonder if the entire human world are bigoted. Is Anima City the only special ward for beastmen on the entire planet?

— In this week’s episode, Michiru magically gains a couple more extra abilities. One of them is the ability to yell super loud. She’s just full of surprises.

— So thanks to Grandma Gran, Rose already knows all about our heroine. Michiru thinks that the medical center might have a cure for her condition, so she also wants to help out with the case. For some reason, the mayor agrees. I think that’s kinda weird. Isn’t Michiru still just a kid? A kid in high school, but still a kid. Plus, she has no training whatsoever in doing this sort of thing. She has all these abilities, but that doesn’t mean she knows how to protect herself against bad guys. Why would the mayor just agree to this?

— Nevertheless, Shirou has to listen to Rose’s orders for reasons that the story won’t get into now. He then takes a second to give us some background information on Sylvasta. On the surface, they claim to support the idea of equal rights for beastmen, but at the end of the day, a company’s a company. Their primary concern is to make money, so one should always be wary of Sylvasta’s intentions.

— Shirou takes one whiff of the bomb fragment and determines the location of every single bomb in the city. Again, what a nose.

— While he and the police are busy working on diffusing the six bombs hidden bombs, Michiru and Kuro follow a truck headed for the medical center. As far as I know, Kuro is just a bird. I know crows are pretty smart, but this one seems pretty special in its own right.

— Anyways, by tagging along with Kuro, Michiru sees evidence of shady dealings. The bombs were just a diversion. Unfortunately for the girl, she’s not trained to do this sort of thing. As a result, she has her ears hilarious sticking out as she tries to listen in on their conversation. Oh yeah, that’s the second power she shows off this week’s episode. But I mean, this is why I don’t understand why the mayor would let the girl join the investigation. Oh, a former high school student wants to put herself in danger? Sure!

— More importantly, however, Mimura, the Sylvasta researcher, recognizes Michiru. When he tells his partner Yaba about it, they confirm Michiru’s identity. I guess the company must have had a hand in our heroine and her best friend suddenly turning into beastmen. Why else would they even have Michiru’s photo in their database? I wonder why they would pick two random high school students. Or maybe it wasn’t random at all. We just don’t know why Michiru is so special.

— Michiru tries to call Shirou for help, but he doesn’t even have his phone with him. Seems kinda foolish, don’t you think? Maybe he didn’t expect the girl to actually stumble upon anything important to the case.

— The girl is backed into a corner, but luckily, Shirou shows up at the last second. Maybe he just has a flair for drama. But suddenly, a bomb goes off in the medical center.

— Shirou tells Michiru to head home because it’s too dangerous, but she refuses. She then argues that since she’s a beastman, then he should protect her because he swears to protect all beastmen. Um, okay? That’s why he told you to go home. Going home protects you. But apparently, Michiru’s silly protestations actually work on the wolf, so he lets her accompany him. I don’t get it, man.

— While Shirou investigates the site of the explosion, Yaba reports to Sylvasta’s president. Boy, he sure does look like the typical rich bad guy of a worldwide conglomerate.

— It doesn’t take long before Shirou confronts the researcher. The wolf couldn’t smell anything about the bomb, but the lack of a scent itself is still damning. With no excuses for his actions, Yaba resorts to violence.

— By himself, Shirou could probably handle this case no problem. Unfortunately, he inexplicably agreed to let Michiru accompany him. As a result, Mimura manages to sneak up behind them and take the girl hostage. Look, I know that Michiru can eventually become useful. With all her abilities, she can one day complement Shirou’s raw strengths. But she doesn’t actually do much in this week’s episode. Who discovered the researchers’ connections to the yakuza? It was Kuro. And even though the mayor suggested that Michiru could act as a messenger between the bird and Shirou, this didn’t even pan out! The only thing she can contribute to the case is providing testimony about how she saw Mimura working with the yakuza. But this already happened. She doesn’t need to still be here and thus get taken hostage.

— Shirou goes after Yaba first while the rest of the police follows Mimura. Like before, if Shirou deems you a disgrace to all beastmen, then he will destroy your pride. So to punish Yaba, he shatters the rhino’s horn. I know I’m not supposed to feel bad for criminals, but I do think the wolf is being a bit excessive. His job is to protect the city, not mete out punishment. Plus, there’s no evidence that his actions have deterred other criminals. As a result, when he breaks a deer’s antlers or a rhino’s horn, I feel like he’s just doing it for his own satisfaction.

— Up on the very roof of the medical center, Mimura threatens to toss Michiru off the side of the building if the police doesn’t agree to his demands. The girl brightly decides to stretch her arms out and attack the lizard. What is her plan exactly? ‘Cause he has her dangling over the edge of the building. Hitting him means he’ll drop her, and that’s exactly what happens.

— But hey, wolf man swoops in and saves the day again. Apparently, his super strength means he can also endure hitting the ground at terminal velocity.

— In the aftermath, Rose drops by the co-op to provide some closure to the case. According to her, Yaba and Mimura were engaged in embezzlement, and they tried to erase all evidence of their wrongdoing. Still, I find it odd that they would resort to a bomb attack in order to wipe a few data systems. Y’know, there are better ways to accomplish this. Even if you don’t have the technological know-how to hack into the data systems and wipe them manually, staging a terrorist attack seems like a very messy option. But whatever, let’s just assume that bombing the fuck out of those mainframes was their only recourse.

— In any case, Rose promises to find a cure for Michiru’s condition. Apparently, the mayor used to be a geneticist herself, so she’ll use her ties with Sylvasta to find a cure. Shirou, however, warns the mayor that the conglomerate shouldn’t be trusted.

— And sure enough, we see the president of the company make plans to drop by Anima City right before the credits roll.

— That’s exactly how an evil mastermind would pose.

— I still think Brand New Animal is an interesting and dare I even say fun series to watch. The show has a nice pacing to its storytelling, and I’m interested to find out why Michiru was turned into a beastman. But having said that, some of the characters’ decision-making in this week’s episode were kinda silly.

The ones in charge must be really bored.

— The episode opens with a look into Khun’s backstory. Apparently, you get picked to be a princess in this world. You aren’t just born into this royal status. And for whatever reason, because Khun’s sister wasn’t picked, his family got exiled? That sounds kinda random, but so far, these tests and their participants have all seemed kinda random.

— So why didn’t Khun’s sister get picked? Because he helped another girl win. It’s all a contest here. Everything is a test. Even becoming a princess is a test wherein the losers lose everything.

— Anyways, this Maria became a princess and Khun got nothing for his efforts. She left him behind while she got to “ascend.” This is, I suppose, some hefty foreshadowing. He sees a bit of himself in Bam, so maybe Rachel will betray the kid in the future. What are we trying to say, though? Don’t put women on a pedestal? Is that the message? Pfft.

— In the present, Khun tells Bam that the sky isn’t real. It’s just an illusion using that magical substance that we saw last week. He follows this up by saying that he doubts the real sky even exists. But I mean, the word “sky” exists for a reason. Someone had the concept of the sky. Ah whatever.

— I suppose the point here is that you can use that substance to make a floor look like anything. Other floors may appear wildly different from the second floor. You could climb the tower and find yourself in all sorts of different “worlds.” Maybe this excites some viewers, but there’s a lack of cohesiveness here that doesn’t really appeal to me. I just feel like anything goes. You can make stuff up as you go along to fit whatever scenario you feel like putting the characters through. Even the characters’ designs seem random.

— Anyways, teams are waiting to take the next test. Every so often, they hear people cry out in pain in a nearby room. Some weird dude in a bag — like I said, anything goes and this applies to the characters as well — walks up to Bam’s group and provides a hint: people who pass the test seem to do so within five minutes. Thanks to Khun’s backstory, however, he doesn’t trust anybody. And when bag dude needles him about this, Khun gets violent. Phew, short temper. Like Bam, I guess he can kill at a drop of the hat if you talk about his woman.

— When it comes time for Bam’s group to take the test, they find themselves in a circular room full of doors. They are then told that they have to pick the right one before the time limit runs out. The time limit is supposedly ten minutes even though bag guy had said five.

— Khun starts trying to figure out the answer. Unfortunately, he also wastes time thinking about how he was betrayed and thus shouldn’t trust anyone. By the time he convinces himself that he should disregard bag guy’s theory, Rak had already gone ahead and opened a door. And just like that, they pass.

— So it was a trick question. All of the doors would’ve worked, ’cause the time limit was a lie. So what did we learn here? Not to trust the people who administer these tests. They are filthy liars.

— Nevertheless, the administrator starts talking about how Khun is allowing the past to hold him back. Blah blah blah, you need to be able to rely on allies who can move forward without hesitation. Sure, Khun should heal his heart and start learning how to trust others. But I kinda doubt that this is the best environment to do so. He just met Rak, and the damn lizardman was trying to kill him just an episode ago. Why would you believe in an ally like that? Why should this be the grand lesson in learning how to trust others? Oh well.

— You could also say that this is more foreshadowing. If he and Bam are supposed to be similar, then maybe Bam will be held back by his past. The only reason he’s even trying to climb this tower is Rachel, but his attachment to her may cause him to fail in later tests. I mean, could you imagine what Bam would do if he ran into Rachel at some point? The kid was willing to kill just to follow her. He may very well screw Khun and Rak over if it means he could help her out.

— Elsewhere, three individuals wiped everybody out because one of the test administrators got lazy. And apparently, if the people in charge find out about this, the test administrators would be punished harshly. So one of them, i.e. the guy who had administered the door test, comes up with a plan. He pitches the idea of a “bonus” test. If you fail, there are absolutely no drawbacks. If you pass, you automatically ascend to the next floor. I wonder if this is his way of trying to get the three new participants to skip on through to the next floor without messing up the rest of the tests he has in mind.

— So what’s the bonus test? You defend the person wearing the crown from attackers. That’s it. These tests aren’t even interesting. I mean, there’s no fascinating characterization or world-building going on. It’s just watching random characters compete against each other for the right to climb to the next floor. We’ve been through several tests, and we’re still not done with the second floor. I wonder how far we’ll even get by the end of the season.

— For next few minutes, we get to watch Anaak, the lizard girl, single-handedly defeat entire teams all on her own. Not only does she have a magical whip that can extend itself, she can apparently take a punch without even flinching. I guess the properties of physics is also random in the tower.

— As the first round comes to an end, Bam spots someone very familiar on another team. Reunited and it feels so good? Probably not. She doesn’t look like she wants to see Bam at all. Still, it’s odd that she somehow ended up “behind” Bam. Rachel entered the tower first, didn’t she? So why did she have to catch up to him? Ah well.

— Honestly, I’m three episodes in and I’m not remotely hooked at all. Nevertheless, I read a recent “article” on Crunchyroll, and it was extolling the strengths of the show’s atmosphere. I find that humorously bizarre. Something like Dark Souls has atmosphere. Tower of God, on the other hand, feels like a kid dumping out his toy box, and having all of the different dolls from completely different fictional universes fight against each other for some nebulous reward which may or may not exist. One doll is stuck in a yellow bag for some reason. Ooh, atmospheric. But hey, I can’t blame Crunchyroll. This is their show, so they’ve gotta pimp it as hard as they can.

Whenever you watch Plunderer, you have to resign yourself to the fact that at least five minutes of every episode will be wasted on fanservice. Once those five minutes are up, we can finally tell the story… through exposition and exposition alone. Enjoy!

— So like I said, the start of the episode is all about Licht peeping on the girls. But for some bizarre reason, they don’t know that it’s him. Not only do they have to try catch the perp, they have to do so soon. If they don’t, the whole class gets punished. ‘Cause that makes sense. Girls, if someone is violating you and you can’t identify them, it’s really your fault. ‘Cause, uh, soldier school and soldiers gotta be strong or something like that.

— In the end, Class A switches the signs on the men and women’s baths. This allows them to identify Licht as the peeping tom, but he still manages to squirm away. They still technically caught and identified him, but because one of the teachers grabs Licht, Class A gets punished. Shhh, I think they just wanted to punish Class A no matter what.

— Also, Jail can apparently mindlessly walk into a room full of naked women without them screaming at him. He can even call Lynn fat and just shrug it off.

— So the kids are forced to try and survive out in the wilderness. Unfortunately, Licht still tries to perv on his female classmates. Eventually, one of them gets fed up and says she doesn’t have the luxury to act like a generic anime girl. So she starts stripping, since this is what Licht badly wants. Um… about that logic…

— The pervy mood is spoiled, because Licht is reminded that his classmates are taking this soldier thing seriously. Blah blah blah, they have no choice. They have to fight or they’ll starve, yadda yadda yadda. It’s just yet another classic case of anime violating the principles of “show, not tell.” We’re told over and over that the world is in a bad place, but we rarely get to see what’s going on outside the school. It’s ineffective storytelling at its best. These children are trying to make the weighty decision to become a soldier, and there’s no gravitas to this scene because exposition is often the only way that anime knows how to convey its narrative.

— Anyways, Schmelman quickly shows up and proposes a pipe dream: Class A can become an army that doesn’t have to kill. Really? How?! Y’see, if you become super duper strong, no one would dare pick a fight with you! It’s that easy! And just like that, Class A shows their collective naivete by going, “Hell yeah! Let’s become super strong so we never have to kill!” Too bad the audience already know for a fact that Licht ends up becoming an Ace with a body count in the millions.

— I’m not, of course, saying that the show doesn’t have a point about how strength is ultimately a poor deterrence. Not only can you not prevent your opponents from catching up to you in strength (see: nuclear weapons), people are still gonna go to war anyways. All that strength is ultimately ineffective because A) you either use it and kill millions or B) you don’t use it because it can kill millions so no one is scared that you actually have it (see again: nuclear weapons). But the way that Class A reacts to Schmelman is so stupid, it actually detracts from what the story is trying to say.

— Jail follows Schmelman into an underground lab where they’re doing all sorts of twisted experiments. First, they’re trying to duplicate Ballots, but do they even know how real Ballots actually work? How can you recreate something that you don’t fully understand?

— Second, Schmelman and his team are currently working on the Aces project. Unfortunately, it’s not working out so well. Test rats show increased aggression along the lines of… oh, I dunno, murdering everyone around them. Nevertheless, Firenda suggests that this side effect might only occur in rats because they have small brains! So c’mon, let’s quickly experiment on actual human subjects. Lady, aren’t you supposed to be intelligent? That’s not how research works!

— Oddly enough, Schmelman quickly rejects her idea. He actually wants to protect the children. So in 300 years, he goes from kooky but caring instructor to kooky but murderous dirtbag. Hmm.

— In any case, they decide test one of the duplicated Ballots on the ace rat, so we get to see the small rodent go berserk with shounen powers. Welp.

— All these revelations shock Jail to the core, so he’s having a bit of a breakdown. That’s when Past Nana shows up outta nowhere and leads him to safety. You know what that means! Yup, more exposition time! Why give us a good story when a little girl can just tell you everything you need to know in her featureless room?

— So what do we learn? Past Nana received a letter from Future Nana, so she knows that Jail is from the future. Nana is the first Ace, and she can time travel. Furthermore, dudes like Schmelman can naturally draw out powers from the Althing without the use of a Ballot, so they tried to plant his DNA in kids to create more Schmelmans. I guess this makes Schmelman kinda like their dad. Unfortunately, Nana is the only survivor at the current time. Yay, exposition!

— Nana then gives Jail a memory card that should contain even more exposition. I can’t wait until he sees what’s on the card!

— Before Jail leaves, he tries to convince Nana to come with him. The girl, however, is afraid that doing so would change the future too much. Um, isn’t that the point? So change it a little, but not too much? Because why? Because the shitty world we saw in the first ten or so episodes is what we actually want to preserve?

— In the end, Jail agrees to leave without Nana, but he promises that he would play with her in 300 years… when she’s more than a fully grown adult. Okay, dude, just admit you’ve got a bit of a bar girl fetish. Plus, she’s 300+ years older than him, so she’s also an oneesan!

— Right before the episode comes to an end, Jail gets caught by Instructor Grigorovich. Ain’t nothing serious is gonna happen to a major character like him, though. Kind of a pointless cliffhanger.

Honestly, I completely forgot about this show until the final episode dropped tonight. I was ready to settle in and play video games, too. Ah well, may as well get this out of the way now.

— All of Franklin’s plans have failed. He’s up to what now? Plan E? Plan F? Well, her latest gambit was to unleash a giant, murderous bug in the middle of the coliseum. Thanks to some dude sitting in the stands, however, the bug dies before it can even escape from the ground. Alright then. I guess Franklin has utterly no friends left.

— Eventually, Ray shows up to confront Franklin. More specifically, our hero wants to know what Tians mean to the evil mastermind. To be honest, I didn’t expect Franklin to claim that this world is too real to be a game. After all, I’ve been saying all along that if Tians are just as human as you or I, then Infinite Dendrogram never should’ve been made into a game to begin with. You don’t toy with people’s lives like that.

— But Franklin actually doubles down. She tells Ray that even if actual human lives were at stake, she still would have done the same thing. Why? Because she’s tired of people interfering with her life. Okay, let’s back up for a minute. According to Franklin’s backstory, she ran away from home because her father tried to marry her off. Her father also looked down on her being a clay sculptor. Apparently, women of high society don’t play around with clay. Okay, I get it. Not having any agency sucks balls. But you don’t typically turn around and kill people just because your daddy was mean to you. I hope Franklin is just exaggerating to get on Ray’s nerves. Otherwise, she’s certifiably insane.

— Anyways, Ray actually pulls a fast one on the villain. Him questioning Franklin was just a way to distract her long enough for Marie to save the princess. And once the princess was safely secured, Ray charges in to defeat Franklin once and for all. That’s when Hugo shows up to defend her sister. Aw, how sweet. Too bad your sister just confessed that she would kill actual people if it meant she could win.

— I’m not sure what I’m supposed to take away from this final battle between Ray and Hugo. Hugo doesn’t agree with her sister’s actions, so she’s defending a remorseless terrorist because… they’re family? Because she thinks this is what knights do? I feel like chivalrous people would do the right thing regardless of sentimentality, but I could be wrong on that. I’m no experts on knights.

— Nemesis tells Ray that he’ll need to get his damage counter up in order to use that corny ass “Vengeance is Mine” skill. C’mon, you gotta admit that it has a terrible name. So anyways, Ray comes up with a plan: he’ll sacrifice one of his own arms in order to put enough counter damage out. This might have looked cool if the animation was up to snuff. But the budget and/or talent just ain’t there, so this is what we get. Look, they’re doing their best, okay?!

— In the end, Ray grabs Nemesis with his mouth and pierces through Hugo’s mecha. Man, virtual teeth must be hella strong. I feel like I’d need dental work if I tried a stunt like that in real life.

— With Hugo out of the way, Ray runs up and simply punches Franklin. I guess I kinda like that. Franklin is an evil mastermind who put all of her eggs in one basket: she creates stuff to do the fighting for her and that’s all she can do. She’s absolutely useless in direct combat. And with her death, the terror attack on Gideon is officially over.

— The second half of the episode is one long denouement. For example, Ray is told that there is only one person in the kingdom who can heal his missing arm. But uh, there’s apparently something dangerous about her? I dunno, that’s just the impression I get from the characters. As a result, Ray says that he’ll just stick with one arm for now. If he needs to, he can still hold Nemesis in his mouth. This makes his sword blush.

— To the show’s credit, Ray is an isekai protagonist who isn’t actually drowning in virtual haremettes. I can’t remember the last time Nemesis blushed around him. Maybe when he was cleaning her sword form in the second or third episode? Other than that, there has been virtually nothing that can be interpreted as remotely romantic between them. And similarly, we have yet to meet a girl who fawns over Ray. Franklin is the only person who obsesses over him, but not exactly in a loving way.

— On the flip side, the ingredients are all there. Maybe we just haven’t gotten to the harem bullshit because the adaptation is only a single cour. There’s still a chance that a harem ends up coalescing around Ray anyways.

— We also see these powerful Masters eat and have a discussion in order to wrap up some loose ends. I’ve mocked this show for its obsession with having its characters engage in long, dry conversations around the dinner table. But I suppose they haven’t had the chance to eat in over a month’s worth of episodes, so whatever. Knock yourselves out, guys.

— I found it funny that Xunyu is drinking a non-alcoholic drink because she’s underage. Dude, it’s a game. Is there a law against kids playing adult characters and drinking pretend alcohol?

— Finally, Franklin boots Hugo from the guild. To her sister’s face, she makes it sound like this is a good thing. She tells Hugo to go out and see the world. Experience new things! Learn as much as you can. After all, Hugo is apparently only 14 (she is turning 15 soon). Yeesh. Plus, I find it weird that these two sisters are having a heart-to-heart conversation within a game. For Christ’s sakes, can’t you guys just Skype or Face Time on your phones? If you have the tech for VR MMOs, then you certainly have video chat.

— After Hugo leaves the room, Franklin reveals her true colors. She feels that Hugo is the last thing holding her back. With her imouto around, she feels obligated to show her softer side. By kicking Hugo out of the guild, Franklin can now go balls to the wall. After all, she hates losing. Gosh darn it, she’s totally gonna beat Ray one day!

— Alright, let’s revisit Franklin’s backstory again. This’ll be the last time, I swear. Look, she ran away from home because her father sucked. Now that she’s a free bird, the world is her oyster, right? She can do whatever she wants. She can pursue whatever she wants. And what she wants to do is obsess over some rando in an MMO? An obsession that is borderline yandere? Girl, c’mon. What are you doing with your life?

— Elsewhere, Ray challenges Marie to a duel. Oh, he’s still missing an arm, but he wants a fair fight against the woman who ganked him. He has no chance of winning, but he’ll never give up, yadda yadda yadda. It’s Ray the Unbreakable. Great.

— Right before the episode (and thus the series) comes to an end, we snap back to the real world. Ray logs off because he needs to work on his college applications. Right after he leaves his apartment, he crosses path with a cold, blonde woman who barely responds to his greeting. Um… is that supposed to be Franklin (a.k.a Francesca) in real life? Wonder what she’s even doing in Japan…

— Oh well, that’s Infinite Dendrogram for ya. Does it deserve another season? Eh. I don’t think so. It seems like a pretty generic isekai. Every isekai protagonist ends up caring too much about the world they’re in, so Ray isn’t unique in anyway. So the only other thing that the series has going for it is this infinite possibilities thing, but that just amounts to seeing a giant crab fortress engage in combat against a sci-fi battleship. It’s not really that interesting; it’s just kinda gimmicky. Finally, the adaptation cut way too many corners to try and reach some arbitrary point in the story by the end of the season. If there’s ever a second season, I have no reason to believe why they wouldn’t just do the same thing. And if you’re not going to put in the same effort, why bother? Put the spotlight on a new series instead. Even if, y’know, these isekai stories all end up feeling the same.

As long as Daisuke is spending his own money in order to solve these cases, what’s really the problem?

— This week’s case kicks off when the team learns that a popular model had died from an overdose. Haru seems to take the news badly, so I guess he’s into that sort of thing. I can’t say that I know the name of an actual model unless they cross over into other industries. Y’know, like Tyra Banks and her mediocre reality TV show.

— Thanks to Daisuke, they manage to bring in two street performers to question. Richie Rich suspected them because he could smell mescaline on their clothes. What’s with weirdo detectives and their noses? Sherlock Holmes also had an acute sense of smell.

— We then get to see two different approaches to interrogation. Naturally, Daisuke just buys the guy out. Maybe he’s right. Maybe everyone has a price. Unfortunately, the police has a budget, and they can’t exactly afford to throw money at everyone. Daisuke is the magical fiction man who can.

— On the other hand, old man Chosuke tugs on the druggie’s heart strings. Both methods work, so the results are the same. At this point, Haru is only mad because of two reasons. First, it’s clear that he just plain doesn’t like Daisuke. I suppose I wouldn’t either. After all, he almost killed someone in last week’s episode. Second, perhaps he feels that the art of investigation is being tainted. I guess Daisuke might meet a suspect that he can’t buy out. And once that happens, he’ll need to fall back on the old ways. Then again, if everyone has a price, this point is moot.

— Richie Rich has apparently never eaten cup noodles. I wouldn’t say that they are delicious, though. They’re kinda addictive in the same way that junk food is addictive, but who wouldn’t pick actual ramen over cup noodles?

— Anyways, Daisuke and Haru start tailing a popular male model who hangs out with several new women every single day. He’s just that hot and charismatic, I guess.

— We even bump into the black-haired woman from the OP. Immediately, Haru is smitten. Too bad he can’t seem to handle the fact that women can also have relations. Curiously enough, during this scene, Daisuke looks away. I guess this makes sense when we find out more about the woman’s identity later.

— When they manage to snap pics of the male model buying drugs, Haru wants to immediately arrest the guy. Daisuke holds him back, however, because he wants to go after the male model’s supplier. This leads them to a yakuza family, so Daisuke’s instincts are correct this time. He got them an even bigger fish to nab. This fact, however, seems to go unacknowledged by Haru. Even though I’m no fan of Richie Rich, he did do the right thing here by not jumping the gun. Haru doesn’t have to like the guy, but he should give the Daisuke credit when it’s deserved.

— At one point, Haru stumbles upon the black-haired woman driving off in a sports car, so he follows her. He follows her straight to an impossibly large estate in the middle of nowhere. It just so happens to be Daisuke’s estate.

— C’mon, this is like a superhero’s secret hideout. Has Daisuke been playing Batman before he decided to officially become a detective?

— The woman then introduces herself as Suzue Kembe, so unfortunately, she’s no Irene Adler… as far as we know. So she and Daisuke are siblings? Cousins? I mean, they’re probably not a husband-and-wife duo, but I could be wrong. In any case, I guess this explains why he looked away earlier. No one wants to see a family member doing stuff with some sketchy dude in a car. That aside, what is with this family? When did they decide to solve crime? Do they care about society or are they just bored? Not only that, Suzue appears to be multi-talented. Not only can she play an undercover agent, she can do maintenance work and invent new gadgets for Daisuke to play with. I wouldn’t be surprised if they later claim that she put this fancy hideout together.

— Haru and Daisuke go their separate ways because the former just can’t agree with Daisuke’s tactics. I guess he wants to prove that he can get the bad guys without money. This leads him to steal someone’s identity and infiltrate a party being held by the yakuza family. Haru manages to swipe the bad guy’s phone and would’ve gotten away with it too, but he got a little too nervous at the end. I mean, the old ways are still gonna work. But the old ways are harder and thus more prone to failure. In a magical world where someone’s checking account is bottomless, wouldn’t you rather play it safe? Well, I guess you have to wonder how Daisuke is making his money. Billionaires don’t typically make their money by being ethical. Some would even argue that the existence of billionaires is downright immoral.

— In any case, a friend in a dog suit nabs the phone and causes enough chaos to allow Haru to escape. They get to the rooftop where Daisuke and Suzue get to flex their money. For instance, we see her flying what appears to be a military helicopter. Okay, I’m sure everyone has a price, but my credulity has its limits. C’mon, there’s no way the government would approve of this. You wanna fly what in our airspace?

— Daisuke then buys out the entire building that the party is held in. ‘Cause y’know, transferring ownership is as easy as a push of a button. With the building under his name, he then shoots a bazooka that lets out enough knockout gas to render everyone unconscious. And just like that, the case is solved.

— How much did this whole thing cost Daisuke? Oh, just 83 billion yen. That’s about 770 million dollars for us Yanks. Daisuke is throwing around 83 billion yen just because a model overdosed from drugs.

— Again, the art of investigation will always work, but it’s likely slower. If we had done it the old way, how long might it have taken Haru to finally arrest an entire yakuza family? How many more people would’ve died while we wait for him to put the pieces together? Last week, I wasn’t a fan of Daisuke because he had no regard for a woman’s life. But in this week’s episode, we don’t have that concern. It’s his money, and his money just removed a dangerous drug supplier from the streets, so… y’know, just let it go?

— Unfortunately, we may not get episode three for a while.

It seems like it’s smooth sailing from here on out for Wendelin.

— Well has made it to adventurer school, which means it’s time to introduce the waifus. First up is Louise, a martial artist. Iina, a spear user, soon follows. And last but not least, every harem lead needs one token male waifu.

— Our hero’s only real struggle this episode is his inability to make friends. For some reason, rumors have already spread that he’s a top class magician. As a result, other kids are a little too intimidated to approach Wendelin. They want to do it. After all, who wouldn’t like a skilled mage on their team. But they all have this weird assumption that Well is judging them, so they just sit there and stare at the guy. Even the waifus don’t even bother talking to Wendelin first. They just decide for themselves that they need to impress him first.

— As a result, everyone tries to outdo the hero when they split up to hunt animals. At first, Wendelin appears to return empty-handed. But he’s got one of those magical JRPG bags that can hold an infinite amount of items. We then get to see him whip out a mountain of animals from said bag. I assume the bag also somehow renders everything weightless.

— Unfortunately, this makes Wendelin’s classmates avoid him even more. Kinda dumb, don’t you think? Why doesn’t he just approach people and invite them to join him? Well, for someone who used to be a salaryman in his original world, Wendelin is surprisingly socially awkward. He blames this on living on his own for the past few years. To avoid succession disputes, I guess he just isolated himself from his family. Oh well, he can go for his sister-in-law once his big bro dies. My point is, Wendelin isn’t supposed to be a kid. He’s an adult who has lived another seven years as a child. He’s mentally in his 30s or 40s. Compared to his classmates, he’s had a wealth of experience and yet he’s acting like some shy teenager. It’s kinda pathetic.

— The waifus start talking about their backstories, and coincidentally enough, they share the same problems as Wendelin. They are not the first-born son in their families, and as a result, they cannot inherit their families’ estate and/or businesses. I just find it odd that everyone is in the exact same predicament, but maybe that’s why they’ve enrolled in adventurer school.

— So the next day, the waifus decide that they will do everything they can in order to impress Wendelin… except, y’know, they could just talk to the guy. They end up biting off more than they can chew, so of course, our hero has to swoop in and save his waifus.

— Man, I’ll never get tired of hating on Wendelin’s crappy 3D Studio Max vision.

— Sadly, saving his waifus has the opposite effect! They now feel as though they don’t deserve to party up with him! Goddammit, what does a middle-aged salaryman gotta do to get teenage waifus to fawn over his dick?!

— The kids soon learn that everyone is invited to a garden party held by one of the top lords in the kingdom. Ooh la la. Everyone, however, believes that the lord is only really interested in Wendelin. I mean, that’s probably true, but why not just ask to meet the kid directly?

— At the party, the lord does beeline for Wendelin, but our hero summons up enough guts to drag the waifus with him. If teenagers aren’t gonna flock to you, I guess you just gotta come to them.

— Wendelin soon meets another mage, but it’s not just any old, crusty mage. This guy used to be Alfred’s master. They eventually just talk about how Alfred died. Nothing too important here… except for the part where Wendelin returns supplies that were meant for the army. And in doing so, he gets 1000 gold coins. In this world, that makes him filthy, filthy rich. I wonder if he’s gonna send any back to his family. Probably not.

— In the end, the waifus feel guilty because they only wanted to team up with Wendelin to take advantage of him. He, however, admits that he didn’t really wanna be alone with those adults for whatever reason, which is why he invited them to come along. With the air cleared, the waifus officially party up with Wendelin. Whew… so when does the priestess waifu show up? ‘Cause I know for a fact that we’re missing someone. The party needs a healer, alright?

— Right before the episode comes to an end, Wendelin learns that Alfred didn’t have anyone to bequeath his estate to, so I guess it just magically goes to him. It was just sitting there unused for seven years? The kingdom didn’t reclaim it or anything? And the law just lets it go to a kid?

— Like I said, Wendelin’s life is easy mode now. Somehow, he’s already one of the top mages in the entire kingdom. He gets a 1000 gold coins for simply returning some supplies. He inherits all of his master’s possessions, so he has a place to live. And even though his waifus didn’t automatically join his party, he didn’t exactly have to work hard to recruit them. All he really had to do was just talk to them.

— I guess in this day and age, people are sick of working so hard for nothing. You can put in more than eight hours of work a day, but this doesn’t guarantee you anything but a steady paycheck. And even then, a company could always lay you off. So we turn to these fantasy fulfillment stories where everything is just a walk in the park. Become filthy rich and marry all the hot babes. Cast top-flight magic spells ’cause why not? This isn’t for me, though. Call me old-fashioned, but I still prefer to see my heroes go through their fair share of troubles. Otherwise, victory just feels hollow.

The answer to her question? ‘Cause it’s fun.

— A woman who has been tracking strange sounds in order to salvage spare Equipment ends up coming to Echo and Mu’s rescue. By herself, she is able to fend off the Three Witch Sisters, so I have to assume that she is very strong. She does so by using an attack with a very corny name. I guess Echo was right; Mu needs to name her ultimate attack for it to work.

— When Echo wakes up, he finds Mu staring at him with a mix of anger and frustration. The kid, however, is so happy-go-lucky that he immediately starts reviewing Mu’s recent defeat to the Three Witch Sisters. Echo is a strange boy. He doesn’t seem to have any typical worries that a normal person should have. After all, he and his partner was just attacked, and he doesn’t seem the least bit scared about that.

— On the flip side, Mu is scared. She’s scared that she may have dragged Echo into something very dangerous, so she tells him to just go home. I’m surprised that the mysterious girl with amnesia is the one with common sense. Usually, it’s the ordinary boy who tries to keep a duo grounded.

— Anyways, their savior introduces herself as Bilin Valentine. Her partner is Kevin Valentine. I think perhaps they’re lovers? I dunno, it’s never specified.

— Bilin gives us a little more information on what had happened back then. They tried to organize the music festival to end all music festivals, i.e. wipe out the Earless. But for some reason, Jimi Stonefree went rogue and things went haywire. We are not told, however, what he exactly did to make the Fest a failure. And naturally, we are not told why he went rogue. All we know is that his power could destroy the world, and Mu somehow inherited said power.

— Elsewhere, Echo starts working on his broken amp, but he doesn’t exactly have the parts to fix it. That’s when Kevin finally shows up to lend a hand. Apparently, he has shut himself away for the past four years. I guess hikikomoris exist even in this universe. Nevertheless, he tries to give Echo a bit of romantic advice. Bruh.

— Why did Kevin run away from the battlefield? He confesses that he got scared. His partner is willing to die against the Earless, and he couldn’t face that possibility. I dunno, I guess I understand… but if Bilin does end up biting it on the battlefield, wouldn’t he want to know that he did everything he could to prevent it? If he hides out in his room, he’ll probably just come to regret inaction. Oh well, the human heart isn’t always logical.

— Still, Kevin helps Echo realize why Mu is pushing the kid away. Likewise, Bilin tells the girl that a Player’s true strength comes from their conviction. Oddly enough, this same conviction is what scared Kevin off. I wonder if seeing the happy-go-lucky Echo, however, stirred up some boyish courage within him.

— Eventually, Echo fixes the amp and goes out to have a heart-to-heart talk with his partner. He tells her that he’s not backing down now. He wants to see the world with her. It’s strange. On the one hand, I’m glad to see that the story doesn’t dwell on the small fracture in the kids’ relationship. Usually, when self-doubt settles in, these characters can take more than episode to get over it. Echo, however, hurdles over this obstacle pretty quickly. On the other hand, he’s pretty hard to understand. He wants nothing more than to see the world with someone he just met? Hmm…

— Well, in that sense, Listeners comes across as a very romantic series. Not in the lovey-dovey sense, mind you. Rather, I’m talking about how the characters are motivated by their emotions and subjectivity. Reason takes a backseat as the characters are moved by their feelings. Logic didn’t keep Echo in Liverchester. He initially didn’t want to leave simply because he thought he was happy. And logic isn’t going to scare Echo away from Mu. He is inspired by their partnership, and now he wants to see the world with her regardless of the danger they’ll come across. So of course, it doesn’t matter that he just met her…

— Not only is the relationship between Echo and Mu repaired, so is the one between Kevin and Bilin (though it took them four years). As a result, the two girls decide to spar. During the battle, Echo comes up with a name for Mu’s ultimate move, and Mu finds her conviction. But I’m not really a big fan of the name; it’s not cheesy enough. Still, Echo made some tweaks, so now the Equipment can fly. That’s neat.

— In the end, Bilin defeats Mu, but it would seem that this is mostly due to the latter being green. She and her partner remark on the fact that Mu might even be stronger than Jimi… whatever it means to burn hotter.

— Still, the battles in this series can be pretty silly. When the two Equipments unleash their ultimate moves, all we get to see are two glowing orbs. Eventually, one orb overtakes the other, and I guess that determines the victor.

— Right before the kids leave on their grand adventure to see the world, Bilin gives them a quest: they should pay a visit to all of the remaining Players, because they each know things about Jimi that no one else does. Oh well, this was the original plan anyways. Echo had the exact same thought in last week’s episode though he was primarily motivated to learn more about Mu’s past.

Appare-Ranman! Ep. 2

Of course, I find it weird that everyone appears to speak the same language in Los Angeles, but I guess we’ll just have to suspend our disbelief if we want to enjoy this show. Plus, if Appare-Ranman! was actually trying to be realistic, we’d have seen a whole lot of racism by now. In any case, this episode introduces Appare to the beauty of automobiles, which luckily ends up working out for Kosame. After all, they need money to get back to Japan, and the Trans-America Wild Race will pay out a ridiculous one million dollar prize — 1.51 to be exact. That’s like forty or fifty million bucks in our day and age, isn’t it? Certainly, you don’t need that much money to charter a trip across the Pacific. As a result, I kinda wonder if our duo will even win this whole thing. If they did, they’d be swimming in cash. But moving on, we also get to meet quite a few new faces in this week’s episode.

With Appare, you have to take the good with the bad. The kid does whatever he feels like without any consideration for others. He isn’t lazy when he’s pursuing his own interests, but he won’t lift a finger if the activity bores him. For instance, the odd couple needs to earn some money. Appare, however, lets Kosame do all of the work. Then after the poor guy spends all day earning a few coins, the entitled engineer goes and spend a good chunk of their to hit the races. On the other hand, Appare’s lack of common sense probably up inspiring a girl to break the glass ceiling. Our odd couple break into the racetrack because our eccentric engineer wanted to take a close look at a car, and in doing so, they bump into Jing taking one of the vehicles for a joy ride. She ends up nearly wrecking the race car because Appare just absent-mindedly walks onto the track.

Jing wants to be a racer, but naturally, sexism is rampant. As a result, she has to settle with sneaking onto the racetracks at night and flexing her driving skills when nobody’s looking. Common sense would tell her to give up on her dreams. Common sense would tell her to take over the family business and find a nice man to marry. But Appare doesn’t let things like common sense hold him back, so he flat-out asks Jing why she would let others decide her life for her. We already know that the girl will end up in the Trans-America Wild Race, so I guess our hero inadvertently made things harder on himself. Then again, true competitors usually want to go against the best, and Appare even acknowledges Jing’s skills. That’s nice, I guess. In reality, it’s obviously not this easy. Someone like Jing could easily get herself physically hurt if she tried to make this a real issue… especially back then. Luckily, this show isn’t really concerned with realism.

Right before the episode ends, Kosame tries to protect some kid from being killed in an alley, but when he tries to draw his sword, a painful trauma from his past suddenly haunts him. A new face ends up having to save both of them. I guess formal introductions will have to wait until the third episode comes along.

Sakura Wars the Animation Ep. 3

Uh-oh, here comes the bad guys. You can tell just from their uniforms. That outfit pretty much screams, “Look at me! I’m a villain!”

— Anyways, the Moscow Combat Revue is here to retrieve Klara. They’d probably be more successful if they didn’t look so goddamn ominous.

— What’s with the get-up? According to Valery Kaminski, the Moscow captain, “the girls were badly burnt and ended up like this.” But when Leyla, one of the girls in the Moscow Combat Revue, approaches Klara — we’ll find out later that she’s apparently Klara’s big sister — she removes her mask and looks perfectly normal. Alright then…

— So the Moscow Combat Revue captain is male… and the Imperial Combat Revue is also male. Is this just a small sample size or are all captains male?

— Klara is suffering from temporary amnesia, and she’s also scared of the Moscow Combat Revue for whatever reason (hint: they’re evil). As a result, our heroines instantly jump to Klara’s defense. Unfortunately, Russia > Japan. For now, anyways.

— Sumire, however, enters the room and after a short talk with Valery, an uneasy peace is brokered. He’s content to wait for an official order that will allow them to take Klara home. Speaking of which, my stupid lizard brain seems to have a hard time pronouncing the name “Sumire.” I can sound it out if I go slowly, but if I try to say the name fast, it just sounds wrong. Oh well.

— The next day, a demon attacks. Considering how the Moscow captain said it’d be boring to just sit around and wait, they must have had a hand in triggering this attack.

— It’d be nice if the show explained what the demons are and where they come from. I guess if I had played the previous games, I’d know all about the demons. Still, isn’t this meant to be a soft reboot of the series?

— Ultimately, this attack is meant to assert Russia’s dominance. They offer to help, but the girls want to defend Tokyo on their own. They might have been able to do so if Hatsuho hadn’t allowed her pride to get in the way. First, she’s jealous that Sakura is named acting captain in Seijuro’s absence. Second, I bet her ego is still bruised from being overpowered by Leyla. As a result, she repeatedly charges into battle alone.

— Just when tragedy is about to strike, the Moscow Combat Revue float down in their evil-looking mechas to save the day. I mean, c’mon… all black? Really? Does Russia even historically like the color black?

— Valery then warns Sumire that demons will keep attacking as long as Klara is with them. But when she asks him what he means by this, he plays dumb. C’mon, you’re not even trying to hide your villainy.

— But again, Russia > Japan. Japan’s motley crew has a lot to work on. More importantly, Sakura is gonna have to solve this Hatsuho problem. Usually, the military doesn’t look too kindly on any form of insubordination… especially if you put your own squad members at risk. But this is a made-up fantasy world filled with cute girls, so I kinda doubt Hatsuho will receive a harsh punishment. Hell, I’m not even sure if Sakura even has it in her to scold anyone. Like most anime heroines, she seems too nice.

— Obviously, when the stakes are low, you can tolerate people like Hatsuho. Let’s say these girls are on a basketball team, and one of them decides to iso repeatedly without any regard for her teammates. That level of arrogance might cost them the match, but whatever. It’s just a game. But she’s in the goddamn military. Along with her teammates, she’s the first line and maybe only line of defense against these weird monsters. You can’t afford a screw up like this when the stakes are this high. I wouldn’t go as far as kicking her out of the team, but I dunno… if she just gets a slap on the wrist in next week’s episode, that’s pretty pathetic.

— There was also that whole White Cape situation from last week’s episode where I thought Hatsuho came off sounding pretty dumb. So when you put that incident together with this week’s mess, our shrine maiden doesn’t look so hot right now. Obviously, she’ll more than likely get her redemption arc, but it’s gonna have to be one hell of a comeback.

Anyways, I decided not to watch Shokugeki no Soma for now, because I don’t wanna spend my Fridays watching four shows. I still have games to beat, and in two weeks, Sakura Wars will be one of them. Too bad more tolerable shows don’t air on Tuesdays. I pretty much have nothing to watch on that day.

Arte Ep. 3

— I have to admit that I’m losing interest in this show solely because it keeps hinting at a potential romance between a 14-year-old girl and a grown man. Yeah, I’m close-minded about this and I don’t care. In any case, I’ll probably do shorter write-ups from here on out until my interest completely peters out.

— It’s a shame, too. Saturday shows ended up being pretty dull this season due to all the delays. Oh well, that just means more time for video games.

— In the first half of this week’s episode, Leo has Arte dress up as a boy in order to sneak her into a hospital. During a Carnival with a capital “C”, the church allows people to dissect cadavers, so this is the only way to see all of the morbid, grisly detail of the human body. You could always murder someone, but y’know, that’s a no-no.

— Naturally, Arte isn’t the least bit squeamish. She’s so enthusiastic to sketch that she tries to push herself to the front of the crowd. In the process, she loses her hat and thus reveals her identity. Leo ends up having to throw the girl over his shoulder in order to escape from the angry horde of men.

— While in hiding, Arte finds herself in close proximity with a man who isn’t her father for the first time in her life. If this scene was merely played off as an opportunity to improve her observational skills, I’d be cool with it. But after blushing like a tomato, the girl soon feels a tightening in her chest. Uh-oh, you know what that means…

— In the second half of the episode, Leo gives Arte the opportunity to help him finish a painting. So off she goes with gusto! Unfortunately, every time she presents her work, he rejects it. This part of the story is a little frustrating, because neither of them will communicate. He won’t give her feedback and she isn’t asking for any! Goddammit, just ask him what you’re doing wrong!

— Eventually, Leo finally gives Arte a clue as to what she’s doing wrong, so she realizes that she has been sketching backgrounds with too much detail. A portrait shouldn’t steal the spotlight from the subject, so she finally produces something a little more appropriate.

— Right before the credits roll, Leo has a few general critiques about Arte, but he rounds them out with something like, “Oh, but I prefer women like you over the ones who just do whatever men tell them to do.” So cue the blushing and all that jazz. Sigh.

Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai S2 Ep. 2

— Considering how Kaguya comes from a super rich family, and Miyuki’s family is pretty much the direct opposite, my biggest fear is that we’re going to get an ending that resembles The Tale of Princess Kaguya a little too much. Kaguya’s family (the Moon people) will certainly disapprove of their relationship, so she and Miyuki will probably have to wait years before they can see each other again. If you’ve been reading this blog long enough, then you should know me pretty well by now. You should know that I prefer anime where characters defy their destiny. There are, of course, plenty of people who think that waiting years to see your lover is romantic. And to that, I say boo! Boo to you passive folks! Loving someone so much that you’d be willing to give your family the middle finger is much more romantic in my eyes! Oh well. If the Moon people do come, I hope Miyuki is true to his word. At the very least, don’t burn the goddamn immortality potion.

— Anyways, it’s still all about Miyuki’s birthday. In the first third of the episode has Kaguya desperately trying to befriend his sister, ’cause she wants to know what sort of birthday present to get. Unfortunately, the Fujiwara sisters are here to play spoiler. In fact, Chika’s younger sister’s overactive imagination might be even worse than her sister’s.

— I guess it’s common for siblings to hate each other? I wouldn’t know since I’m an only child. Contentious sibling relationships, however, are what you see over and over in stories, so I guess there’s some truth to it. As a result, Kei’s stories initially worry Kaguya a bit. Luckily, she eventually realizes that the president is the same no matter where he is.

— And like brother, like sister. Kei resembles her brother so much that Kaguya has some odd thoughts running through her mind.

— Honestly, I would’ve just taken Ai’s advice on what to give Miyuki.

— In the second third of the episode, Kaguya is finally alone with Miyuki, so she plans to give him both a cake and a present. Oh la la, so fancy. Hm… maybe a little too fancy. Personally, I’d still be thrilled to receive that much cake. I mean, what can I say? Cake is delicious (as long as it’s buttercream and not fondant), and it’d be nice to bring some home to my family.

— As a result, the girl puts herself on trial. Meet superego, ego, and id. Honestly, Ice Kaguya seems like more trouble than she’s worth. If and when Kaguya and Miyuki does get together, Ice Kaguya will probably be the last hurdle to overcome. She’ll come up with some reason to try and spoil the relationship. And therein lies the problematic word: “reason.”

— In the end, all Kaguya really had to do was cut out a small, modest slice (and hide the rest of the ginormous cake). Makes you wonder why Ai didn’t just prevent her from bringing the entire cake in the first place. Maybe once Fool Kaguya gets going, you can’t stop her. Or maybe Ai enjoys watching her friend make a fool out of herself. At some point, Kaguya is gonna have to fend for herself… unless these master-servant relationships are for life or something. I wouldn’t know; there’s no chance that I would ever find myself in that position.

— In any case, Kaguya also gives Miyuki a fan, a present which he is all to happy to receive. Wow, a fan? Goddamn, does he have a boomer’s soul or what?

— In the last third of the episode, Miyuki initially thought of exploiting Kaguya’s gift in order to make her confess her love. In the end, however, he thought better of it. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize that Kaguya is already two steps ahead of him. Chika ends up being the unwitting pawn in their silly chess match.

— There’s not much that I can comment on here without just recapping the events, so I’ll just say that it was cute to watch Kaguya get all flustered over Miyuki using her present.

My Next Life as a Villainess Ep. 3

— I kinda wish these kids would grow up already. I just don’t think the things they talk about match up with their age and appearance.

— Anyways, Catarina hits up yet another tea party. She proceeds to gorge herself like usual. She always eat until she needs to take a dump. I guess it’s kinda funny, because Catarina is far from the refined lady that she’s supposed to be.

— On her way to the restroom, she encounters a group of kids picking on Sophia Ascart simply because the girl has silver hair. Apparently, that makes her creepy. Then again, I watch anime, so I’m used to girls coming in all sorts of hair colors. Green and purple have got to be the silliest.

— At some point, Catarina can no longer hold it in, so she makes a grand entrance. This ends up scaring off the bullies. Hah, if only they knew she had to use the restroom. Still, our heroine might have inadvertently triggered a yuri flag.

— Man, even the adults are kinda off in this anime. All they do is stand around and comment on the beauty of some prepubescent kid.

— Catarina and Sophia become fast friends, and as a result, she also gets to know Sophia’s older brother Nicol. He’s supposed to have a sister complex, but that’ll probably change considering how nice Catarina is being to his sister. Meanwhile, Keith gripes at the fact that he now has even more rivals to contend with. C’mon, you guys are kids. How can you guys fall in love already? You’re only supposed to develop cute crushes! Puppy love! Nothing more!

— Anyways, I eventually get the timeskip that I wanted, but it’s anime, so I’m always a bit flabbergasted when I’m told that these mature-looking characters are supposed to be around fifteen. Did I look like that at fifteen? Hell no.

— Right off the bat, Geordo is already making his move. Considering how Catarina is his betrothed, I guess he’s allowed to be confident. Just don’t get too fresh.

— As for the other boys, they haven’t changed too much. Keith is over-protective, Alan continues to be a tsundere, and Nicol is the dark, mysterious boy.

— But none of them compare to your BFFs, so even the girls want to dance with Catarina. Man, our heroine has certainly rehabilitated her characters’ portrayal. All that’s left is to meet the Heroine. I’m sure she’ll also be charmed by Catarina. Everyone else is.

— It’s a harem, so it makes sense that they would all fall in love with Catarina. Still, I was hoping for more doom flag avoidance, y’know? Ah well, let’s see how far they go with this yuri thing.

Let this be a lesson to everyone: don’t get between two sisters. You’ll lose your head.

— In the cold opening, vending machine man refers to humans as “inhabitants of this planet.” Welp, I guess that makes him an alien. Considering how he completely relies on us humans to find his coins, however, I wonder why the wishes he grants have so many hidden drawbacks. Maybe he can’t help it. Maybe people turning into beasts is a side effect of their true nature or something. I’m just saying that it seems counter-intuitive to screw people over when you need their help. Hell, he even claims to like humans. Then again… maybe he does need to screw them over. If people like Hikawa had gotten everything she wanted, she would need to look for more coins.

— Man, don’t I know it. Plus, my vacation is about to come to an end. It’s back to work on Wednesday…

— Anyways, Clair tells Shuichi that if they’re going to keep working together, then they need to learn the ins and outs of their fusion. In other words, more sex metaphors. I will say, however, that one can sometimes read too much into the characters’ words and actions. For instance, this probably isn’t a metaphor for doggy-style, but let’s just pretend that it is! It’s more fun that way!

— For whatever reason, Shuichi doesn’t want Clair to be completely naked before she climbs inside him even though she has a perfectly understandable reason to strip down. Oh, I know why! It’s because he’s a typical anime teenager rather than an actual teenager. Good lord, they’re not even having real sex, so why does it matter? Well, it matters a lot to him, so he makes her put on a swimsuit. Let’s just pretend that the mangaka wants kids to wear protection. If you’re gonna do it, don’t do it bareback! Otherwise, you’ll have to take responsibility if things go wrong!

— I just never like it when the main character tries to be all pure and shit in an anime (or manga) that is chockful of male gazes. It just seems… hypocritical.

— This time, Clair has Shuichi try to move even though she’s inside him. As it turns out, he can exert some control, but she’s still the dominant one. She can still override his actions if she really wants to. I wonder if this is due to Clair and Clair alone or if anyone on the inside could do the same.

— I know the actual product is called CalorieMate. They’re basically nutritional bars, and they seem to be the only thing that Clair will eat these days. Maybe this is how a young kogal can stay so thin. But seriously, with both of her parents dead and her sister MIA, did the story ever explain how she’s surviving on her own? Maybe I missed it. Maybe she just has access to a bank account full of money.

— Since Shuichi is a dog, it makes sense that he would have a keen sense of smell. As a result, Clair has him sniff his sister’s uniform in order to track her down. In the process, we get to see a photo of the two sisters, but Elena’s face is conveniently obscured. You would only do this if we’ve already seen here before. Well, she’s obviously not one of the innocent classmates that we met in the first two episodes. As a result, I can only imagine that she’s the girl at the end of last week’s episode. Y’know, the one who made a wish to turn Shuichi into a monster.

— Oh yeah, the uniform reeks. Whew, someone didn’t bathe regularly. Jokes aside, Elena apparently carries a heavy scent of blood on her. What determines someone’s strength when they get turned into a monster? This is why I doubt that the vending machine man is directly responsible for these transformations. I mean, he might be… but it just seems arbitrary if he is. Why make Shuichi stronger than Hikawa? And why make Elena even stronger than both of them?

— Afterwards, Shuichi and Clair decide to do a stakeout at station near Elena’s school. One of Shuichi’s classmates — the one that got the recommendation — spots the couple. As far as I know, she’s just a normal girl, but maybe the story has bigger plans for her in the future. I’m not too keen about it, though. Not only do I not want this show to turn into one long procession of battles, I also don’t want all of the girls to inexplicably fall in love with Shuichi. Let’s not make this into a pseudo-harem. I don’t want some dumb nonsense where multiple girls get to wear Shuichi, but Clair will pretend that she’s the top waifu and the rest are just concubines. Ah shit, we’re probably gonna get that, huh?

— The stakeout initially doesn’t go too well, so the two kids almost make plans to watch a movie together. A softer side of Clair’s personality even peeks through. I wonder if this is her true self. In her photo with her sister, she seems to be the shyer of the two. And in her flashbacks, she certainly didn’t look like the brazen girl that she does now. Maybe her current persona is just a defense mechanism. Well, with Shuichi’s passivity and penchant for anxiousness, someone needs to be able to take charge.

— All of a sudden, Elena does show up. Her smell is unmistakable, and Clair doesn’t hesitate. She wants to shoot her sister to prevent her sister from getting away. Cold, right? But again, it’s probably a defense mechanism. Shuichi feels as though Clair is burying her feelings. When she sheds tears at the last second, he overrides her and probably prevents Elena from being killed. The bullet just narrowly misses. Still, I wonder what it would have meant for the rest of the series if Clair had gotten her way. I thought she wanted to know why her sister killed their parents, but all she sees is red right now.

— At first, Elena transforms into a monster, but unlike Shuichi and Hikawa, she doesn’t seem to have an animal form. She’s just your typical scary Japanese ghost woman with long hair. Nevertheless, her presence alone prevents you from being able to move a limb. But when Elena recognizes Shuichi, she turns back into a normal girl… albeit still with longer hair. Clair is just stunned. After all, Elena isn’t acting much like someone who reeks of death and blood.

— Elena starts apologizing for dragging them into this mess, but she doesn’t initially specify who she’s talking about. As a result, Clair thinks that her sister can tell that she’s hiding within Shuichi. In her anger, she’s about to kill Elena again when her sister finally makes her surprising confession.

— When Clair expresses confusion, Elena goes into a rage. She transforms back into her shadowy form. She proceeds to rip off Shuichi’s head while simultaneously declaring that she’s the only person who is allowed to be inside him. Welp, that’s our cliffhanger.

— So does this kill Shuichi? It can’t, right? No protagonist dies by the third episode of the series. Maybe you can just sew his head back on. Plus, Clair still has a coin, right? I don’t think she knows where to find the vending machine, though…

— More importantly, how well does Elena know Shuichi? Did she simply stalk him from afar or did they use to have a history? The only problem with the latter is that he doesn’t seem to remember anything about Elena. He should recognize her if they’ve ever crossed paths… unless, of course, his memories have somehow been tampered with. Anime loves that shit. And considering how vending machine man can grant wishes, maybe he can also erase memories. Still, if Elena was involved with Shuichi, it’s interesting that Clair appears to have no clue about their relationship at all. Well, people will always have their secrets…

— Let’s assume that Shuichi’s memories were erased. If he gets them back one day, what will this mean for Clair? The girl is willing to die if he dies. If he goes back to the older sister, will the younger sister give up on life again? That’s why I don’t like pseudo-harems or love triangles. They’re just unpleasant. It’s incredibly annoying to see a guy waffle between two different girls for, say, 200-plus chapters. Hell, my friend just made me watch a series where a guy had to pick between five quintuplets. Lame.

— One last thing: maybe this is out there, but I wonder if Shuichi pulled down Clair’s panties in the first episode because he smelled something familiar about her. Ah, it’s just a silly thought. It’s not like sisters smell the same down there. The simple answer is that he’s probably just a closet perv.

The episode kicks off with Yuki waking up from a bad dream. I guess his mom saw him as nothing more than a tool to further her own gain. That sucks, but like I’ve said before, Fruit Baskets renders me numb. A person can only have so many tears to shed. Maybe my emotional capacity to sympathize is lower than the average person, but all these bad parents have careened past the barrier of credulity. In any case, even if he can’t repair the relationship between him and his parents, he can still mend bridges with his brother. As a result, Yuki pays Ayame’s shop a visit, ’cause he would like to get to know his brother better. Not surprisingly, Ayame sews clothes to fulfill men’s fantasies. Nurse outfits, maid costumes, and even wedding dresses — he will help you attain whatever your heart desires! I suppose this sort of business fits Ayame. I think costumes are generally garish in their designs; they’re meant to be very obvious and in-your-face about what they represent. Ayame is the same way. His personality is very over-the-top and garish. He’s overcompensating much like one would when they wear a costume.

Ayame works with a seamstress by the name of Mine, and they seem to have an interesting relationship. First, I thought resting his head in her lap would trigger the curse. Second, considering what we know so far, there’s no way Akito would approve of these two, right? Well, maybe the head of the Sohma family doesn’t know anything about Mine, but it’s not like Ayame is even hiding her. At one point, Mine drags Tohru away, and she claims it’s because she likes to dress up cute girls. The real reason, however, is that she wants to give the brothers some space to have a heart-to-heart. I guess she understands Ayame quite well; he must have confided in her about his delicate relationship with Yuki. Hopefully, Ayame won’t have to erase her memories one day like a certain other Sohma had to do.

During the brothers’ heart-to-heart conversation, we finally learn why Ayame is trying so hard to get his brother’s attention: he completely ignored Yuki’s existence back when they were young. So even though his actions now annoy his brother, I suppose any attention is better than no attention. Suddenly, Ayame stops talking in his embellished manner. His real voice actually comes out when he starts talking about his craft. Like Yuki, he just wants to feel as though he’s necessary to someone. The rat can empathize since he also pours his heart into gardening. The brothers are more similar than they think; they just never had the opportunity to sit down and get to know each other. They won’t ever become best friends, but they’re really not so different on some key points. Still, there’s this sentiment that siblings just fight. As long as it never gets too serious, then it’s okay that Ayame and Yuki may never see eye-to-eye. I suppose I can agree with that. It’s the little spats that annoy me, though. For me, this episode might serve as a template for how Yuki and Kyo might one day repair their relationship. Co-existence is great! Tolerating each other’s presence is great! But why do you guys have to snipe at each other all the time? I suppose I can never understand that.

Once the brothers reach some sort of an understanding, Tohru emerges in her costume and it’s… ugh. It’s more than just a “cute” outfit. It’s very… matronly. But y’know, maybe that’s what Yuki wants. His mother never loved him, so maybe he’s looking for a replacement. At this point, I finally realized what bugs me whenever Yuki tries to flirt with Tohru: it doesn’t feel natural. Whenever he tries to put on the moves, it looks like he’s just imitating what he’s seen in a shoujo manga. Much like his brother, he’s embellishing and overcompensating for something that he has no instincts for. Does Yuki actually feel the urge to passionately kiss Tohru, brush his skin against hers, feel her hot breath on his chest, so on and so forth? I don’t think so. I do think he cares for her very deeply, but I don’t think his flirting attempts are actually born from any sort of carnal desires. As a result, when he tries to be romantic, it comes off as inauthentic. Like he sees an opportunity, so he just goes for it without any consideration to whether or not this is how he actually feels.

In any case, that about does it for this week’s episode.