This will probably be my last post on this series, because I just find it intensely boring. When I would rather pay attention to a standup meeting than an anime, something has gone terribly wrong.

— Bam calls out to Rachel, but she doesn’t respond. So what does the guy do? He tells himself that it must not be Rachel. After all, his Rachel would never ignore him. Yup, you’re so right, my guy.

— It’s kinda curious, isn’t it? The word “simp” is suddenly everywhere nowadays. Everyone keeps using it, but I have this strange visceral distaste for the word. I dunno, maybe this sounds snobby, but the word just has a certain lowbrow connotation. Lo and behold, King Simp presents himself, and I feel like I’m now forced to used the word because how else would you describe Bam? It’s like he was built for it.

— Anaak currently has the crown, so she plops herself onto the throne and just goes to sleep. She doesn’t even bother to confer with her teammates, so they’re stuck protecting her from attacking teams. Sadly, the action here is nothing to write home about. It’s not bad. It’s just unremarkable.

— Every so often, the characters try to inject some levity into the situation. Sometimes, it’s silly. Sometimes, it’s pointlessly gendered. All I know is that I’m not laughing.

— Eventually, the sleeping guy decides to wake up and do something. After all, it was his idea to make his team attack this round. It turns out the guy can manipulate Shinsu, which… I guess it’s impressive? After all, his attacks are serious enough to wake the lizard girl up. But in the end, Anaak just gets angry, and I’m told that you wouldn’t like green characters when they get angry.

— Apparently, this girl is a master at raising the white flag.

— Anaak’s weapon goes wild to match her temper, which also causes the Black March to act up. This catches the lizard girl’s attention, so she straight-up disqualifies her own team in order to confront Bam. Welp.

— The Black March belongs to a set of weapons that should only be wielded by Princesses, which we already know. After all, Yuri loaned it to Bam. According to Anaak, however, her whip also belongs to the aforementioned special set. I guess this makes her a Princess? But if she’s so special, then why is she slumming it on the second floor with the rest of these losers? Someone on Rachel’s team even taunts Anaak by calling her an imposter.

— Lizard girl tries to make a bet with Bam. If his team wins the Crown Game, then she’ll give him her whip. If his team loses, she gets the sword. Our protagonist smartly replies that he has no reason to take this bet… even though he almost did so anyways. Why? Because he didn’t want to keep causing trouble for his team. On the one hand, these pure and innocent protagonists are a dime a dozen in anime. On the other hand, I just can’t reconcile his current characterization with the same kid who was ready and willing to kill a stranger in cold blood in the first episode.

— Besides, I doubt the Black March would approve of Anaak anyways. She doesn’t have a cute face like Bam, which is apparently the deciding factor.

— Bam also didn’t want to give up the Black March, because Rachel explicitly taught him not to betray people, but you especially don’t betray girls! So I guess this means you can sorta betray boys if you need to? Like, I dunno, if ya boi is standing between you and those stars! Oooh, I bet this is foreshadowing.

— Since Anaak disqualified her own team, the crown is now up for grabs. Everyone lunges for it, and like always, we have a truly eclectic cast of characters. I mean, what even is this guy?

— Khun somehow snags the crown first. He then slips the crown into his bag and ends up with two of them. Welp, this confirms that he has the ability to duplicate items. Well, I guess I should’ve seen this coming. After all, the guy placates the dumb gator by offering up mountains of chocolate bars. Either his bag is bottomless or it can duplicate items. Why would you pack a mountain of chocolate bars for a brief jaunt up the tower though?

— Right before the credits roll, the girl on Rachel’s team asks if it’s okay to kill everyone. Rachel looks up for the first time all episode and takes one good look at Bam. She then replies in the affirmative. ‘Cause again, it’s A-OK to betray boys if you really need to.

— Any predictions? Well, Khun tasked Bam with holding onto the crown, so I bet our hero’s dumb simping ass will disqualify his own team for Rachel’s sake in the near future.

— I dunno, if people really want me to continue covering the show, I’ll consider it. But if I do keep following the anime, expect low effort posts like this one from here on out. The anime’s just so boring.

It doesn’t look like Hina and friends are really doing anything but going with the flow.

— Captain Alan catches Jail, so they spar for a bit. Eventually, the latter realizes that he’s fighting the man who will become his foster father, so he decides to spill the beans, i.e. why he and his friends are here. I’m pleasantly surprised to see that Alan is so quick on the uptake. He instantly realizes that Jail is a time traveler thanks to Nana. Smart guy or convenient storytelling? Shrug.

— Alan then takes all of the time travelers outside of the school walls. This way, they can see for themselves what state the world is in. Apparently, the disheveled masses will swarm you and beg for food. Sure, I guess something like this is possible. But why then are the brightest minds devoting all of their time to the Aces project? Are you telling me it’s easier to create a super soldier via genetic manipulation than than it is to figure out a way to manufacture some sort of cheap but life-sustaining gruel? I dunno if I buy that.

— Jail and friends are now unsure about what they should do. If they change the past, then Alcia might not come to exist. And if Alcia doesn’t exist, they won’t exist! Oh no! Well, this is why time traveling stories usually involve split timelines. Plus, it seems silly to preserve your own life when the alternative means that billions will die in some sort of cataclysmic war. Moreover, even if we grant that this sort of time-traveling is even possible, it’s not as though these characters will suffer an agonizing death. It sounds to me like they’ll just fade out of existence. Then again, I’ll never have to make this choice in my life, so of course, it sounds easy.

— What follows is a training montage accompanied by action lines. After all, why animate when you can be efficient?

— I also don’t really understand making the poor girls jog in mini-skirts, but hey, I’m not a military man.

— Schmelman starts handing out melee weapons. Why? ‘Cause in this future war, we don’t need no stinkin’ guns!

— Alas, Hina gets a fat stack of textbooks. Knowledge will be her weapon, yo — knowledge on how to heal people. You could say that she’s the deadliest of them all. She gets to decide who lives and who dies. And sadly, you know she’s going to save the pervert who keeps molesting women.

— Apparently, all of the countries have agreed to fight in order to “lessen the overgrown population.” Again, I feel like these bright minds should be able to come up with a way to feed themselves that doesn’t involve fighting, but who knows? I guess bugs no longer exist. Look, I’m not saying I would like to eat bugs. Of course not. But if I had to choose between war and eating bugs, I know what I would pick in a fucking heartbeat.

— In any case, Firenda continues to push the idea that they need to start experimenting on human subjects. Schmelman refuses once more. You know he’s serious when he opens his eyes. Even so, maybe Firenda’s the true villain? Maybe she’s the one who leads everyone down this dark path because she’s just so hungry to turn these kids into lab rats?

— We eventually get a beach episode, ’cause why not? Why wouldn’t military cadets play capture the flag in bathing suits?

— Since Class A is so dead set on becoming an army that never kills, Licht hatches a brilliant plan: they just keep running until the opposing team tires themselves out! Doan tries to to throw a wrench in his plan, but he’s too stupid or blind to see an obvious trap. It’s probably both. I don’t think you can just run circles around the enemy in an actual war, but it doesn’t matter what I think. What matters is that Licht’s classmates are impressed with him once again, so they nominate him to be their commander.

— Unfortunately, the adults receive some bad news. One of their own has died during a mission. More importantly, it sounds like the war is gonna happen sooner rather than later. Firenda manages to use this tragedy to convince Schmelman that they must now conduct experiments on humans! She also adds that the lab rats only became aggressive due to Schmelman’s genes. Now, I’m no scientist, and I would never claim to be one. I’m just a shitty software engineer, which means I spend most of my day debugging my own mistakes. But I like to think that scientists have a rigorous process where their work must be reviewed by their own peers. So if you’re going to make a claim like, “Oh, these rats are only going nuts due to a defective gene,” you need to, y’know, provide evidence. Your experimental data must be reproducible by others. That’s just common sense, and again, I’m not even a scientist. But Schmelman is convinced, because the next thing we see is him embracing Licht. Welp, so much for altering the past.

— Plus, if Jail doesn’t think it’s a good idea to do anything to affect the future, then why even stay here? Apparently, he just wants to keep dueling Captain Alan.

Woe is me… everyone seems to want a piece of my hotness!

— One of Wendelin’s brothers is getting married, so he’s invited his friends to come along. It doesn’t take long, however, for a massive zombie dragon to attack. The resident senior mage even claims that he’s no match for the heinous foe. Luckily, our hero is more than up to the task! Four episodes in and he’s already the best of the best. In fact, his friends don’t even need to help. They’ve only just joined his party, and they’re already relegated to the bench!

— I like how these nobles aren’t even scared. Instead, they look like they’re demanding to speak to the manager. This is unacceptable! How can my pleasure cruise be attacked by zombie dragons!

— Love the special effects in this series. They are just jaw-dropping.

— Again, Well has no problems putting down the zombie dragon. Not only that, the spoils will fetch a huge sum of money.

— Afterwards, these nobodies have a party even though they didn’t do anything to help! It’s like that meme where the third-place finisher goes nuts celebrating, but these guys don’t even deserve to stand on the podium. Wendelin gets 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th…

— As soon as they get to the castle, our hero has a date with the king. That Wendelin… he’s so hot right now.

— The king immediately grants Wendelin the rank of baronet, which isn’t really anything amazing. It’s pretty low on the pecking order. What’s important, however, is that 1) he’s now ranked above his own father, and this means that 2) a whole new Baumeister line has opened up. Two Baumeisters? Outrageous! One will clearly need to destroy the other a la Highlander! Winner gets the loser’s wife!

— The waifus worry that Wendelin will be too busy to play with them now that he’s a noble. I kinda find this kinda funny, because we haven’t actually seen him do anything with his new party yet. They haven’t even had the chance to go on an adventure, but we’re already worried that he’s going to ditch them? Yeesh. Luckily for the waifus, Well doesn’t get any land, which apparently means he can still hang out with them. Even so, with the money he’s about to receive, I feel like he can just buy all the land he wants. Then again, I have no goddamn clue how nobility works. Maybe land has to be granted to you as well.

— Speaking of money, it’s now time for Well to be handsomely paid for his efforts. Various factions proceed to try and curry favor from the kid. Both the church and the military want Wendelin on their side. Considering how one of his future waifus is going to be a priestess-type character, I bet the church has the better hand.

— And when Wendelin thinks he can finally go home and rest for the day, this random dork is trying to impress him.

— Finally, our hero gets to attend his brother’s wedding, but his troubles aren’t over yet. The groom’s family is too poor to send a wedding gift, which is apparently an insult to their lord! An insult, I say! Just look at this scintillating graphic! This is epic storytelling!

— So of course, Big Pockets Wendelin has to come and save the day again. He goes ahead and buys lavish gifts to represent the groom’s family. I’m sure the brothers within vicinity of him are appreciative of the gesture, but I bet Kurt will be gnashing his teeth somewhere.That’s just how it goes in these silly shows.

— Finally, Wendelin gets the chance to breathe, so one of his new merchant friends has good new for him: they’ve managed to find koji. This is an ingredient that is necessary for miso, so our hero immediately drags his party back to his estate. Yup, we don’t actually get to see Wendelin and his waifus go on an adventure even though they’re adventurers. Instead, he’s going to teach them how to make miso.

— Personally, I’m not a big miso fan, but to each their own.

— While sipping his miso-flavored soup, Wendelin decides that he’ll be the fermented kind of noble that is useful to people and not the rotten kind! The analogy is a loose fit in my opinion, but let’s just roll with it.

— Right before the credits roll, Elise is told that they’ve found a husband for her. It’s obviously gonna be Wendelin. More importantly, even though this arranged marriage is for political purposes, I’ve no doubt that she will quickly fall in love with our dragon-slayin’, miso-cookin’ badass.

When we last left off, Kosame tried to save the Native American boy, but some of past trauma made him freeze in his tracks. As a result, Dylan had to stepped in and save the day.

— Naturally, Appare shows little concern for Kosame. In his mind, his partner is currently safe, so why waste his breath on asking the guy if he’s okay? Instead, the inventor tells Dylan that he’ll totally win the Trans-America race. To Dylan, this must be like hearing a random hobo challenge Michael Jordan to a game of pickup basketball.

— So the Native American boy’s name is Hototo, and some dude with a conspicuous tattoo killed his father. As a result, the kid’s on a quest for revenge. I’m not sure what this has to do with racing, but I’m sure the story will draw the connections later. Maybe his father’s killer is gonna be one of the racers.

— The next morning, the gang finds out that they’re about to lose their warehouse, because some rich dude named Al wants it. Al’s from Europe, which means he and his partner have to drink tea and look posh at all times. ‘Cause, y’know, Europeans have so much class compared to the rest of us.

— What’s Al’s story? Well, he wants to take over the currently fledgling automobile division at his family’s company. You might have heard of said company: BNW. No, no, not BMW. It’s BNW! Get it right! Honestly, I don’t know squat about cars. Does BMW make race cars? I guess they do. Look, all I know about motorsports is what I saw in Ford v Ferrari. It has never been a thing that interested me. My friends are all into automobiles, but I couldn’t care less. And since I live in San Francisco, I don’t even bother to own a car just because I don’t want to pay for the upkeep and insurance.

— Al is accompanied by Sofia. At first, I also thought that she was his sister, but they are not related. Sofia’s mother was Al’s babysitter, so she’s a childhood friend and thus potential lover? She claims she’s here to make sure Al doesn’t do anything reckless, but look, a lady doesn’t just accompany you to another continent if it’s platonic.

— In any case, Al is here to participate in the Trans-America contest, because somehow winning a race justifies taking over a division within a company. Appare sees an opportunity to test himself against a future rival, so he issues a challenge. He and Al will race each other, and if he wins, he gets to keep the warehouse along with Al’s car. If he loses, however, Al gets Kosame’s swords. I don’t think a pair of katanas is worth a car, but whatever. Al’s rich, so he can probably afford to lose several cars. Hell, he probably thinks bananas cost ten bucks each.

— Since Kosame’s a swordsman, I guess his katanas are worth a pretty penny, but I wouldn’t know. I’m not a big katana fan either. Needless to say, I highly doubt the guy would lose something so essential to his identity, so it already feels like a sure thing that Appare will win the race.

— Out of nowhere, Appare ends up inventing the goddamn segway, so Al wants it along with Kosame’s swords. If there was any doubt that Appare will win, they should now be gone by now. Al’s not gonna take everything.

— Elsewhere, we see Xialian continue to hem and haw about her future. Appare may have planted the seeds of rebellion in her heart, but they haven’t sprouted yet. In any case, he stops by to pick up junk parts that nobody wants anymore. In the process, he tells her all about his contest with Al. The girl continues to be a non-believer, so of course, she tells Appare that he has no chance of beating a BNW. I guess he just has to keep proving her wrong until she decides to do something with her life. I didn’t mind her character last week, but I think she’s dragging her feet a bit too much. Just how many times does a guy have to tell you to live your own life?

— On the day of the race, Appare and Kosame show up in this ugly hunk of junk. Luckily, this isn’t a beauty contest. Still, I feel like its height might make it flip over when taking a tight corner. Ah well, maybe that’s why the wheels are so big. Plus, I’m just a layman when it comes to cars.

— During the actual contest, the BNW car is clearly faster in a straight race from point A to point B. Appare, however, makes things easier for himself by completely jumping a cliff. I really gotta wonder the physics behind a stunt like this, but let’s just forget about that for now. After all, Appare still finds himself behind his opponent, so he turns to his trump card.

— I honestly thought he was gonna shoot Al down from a distance. I’m sure the writers wanted that reaction from the audience too. But instead, he just launches the engine ahead with Kosame desperately clinging to his life. As a result, he lands a few meters away from the finish line and finishes the rest of the race by foot. Welp, that sure is a victory.

— I like the gang’s reaction to Appare’s gambit.

— In the end, Al holds up his end of the bargain. Appare tries to give him the segway, but his pride gets the better of him. Luckily, Sofia has some common sense. Was he really gonna make his friend walk home on foot just because he lost? I mean, seriously now…

— Meanwhile, Xialian could’ve driven back with the boys, but I guess she needs a long walk through the California desert to reflect.

— Fun episode, I guess, but I hope we get to the race sooner rather than later.

So after what happened last week, Hatsuho heads on home in order to pity herself and lick her wounds. She didn’t even inform her team about her departure. Man, it’s easy come and easy go here in the Flower Division. Well, you know what this means: Sakura is gonna have to go fetch her childhood friend.

— Klara tags along with Sakura because… well… just because she’s closest to the acting captain, I suppose.

— Speaking of Klara, Seijuro is only now hearing about the New Moscow Combat Revue. Plus, there is some shady stuff concerning Klara’s transfer paperwork. What does this all mean? Eh, who knows? The ongoing mystery is playing its cards close to the chest for now. Azami even asks Komachi (she apparently doubles as an information broker) to look into the incident surrounding the original Moscow Combat Revue, but all that yields is this blurry photograph of Klara lying in a crater.

— Anyways, Sakura and Klara heads to Hatsuho’s shrine, which means we get backstory and more backstory. It looks like we’re only getting two combat missions in four episode. I wonder what the pacing is like in the video game.

— When Sakura tells Hatsuho that her disappearance worried everybody including Seijuro, the shrine maiden starts to regret her actions. Really? Ditching your team is okay, but you only start to care when the dude’s name came up? I dunno, man. I wonder if Seijuro will have a larger presence in the game’s story, because he’s practically nonexistent here. These characters have established relationships that we know very little about. I’m just supposed to accept that these girls are all enamored with Seijuro without knowing what he did to earn their respect.

— To help Hatsuho get over her issues, the girls decide to help out with the upcoming festival. It’s the common prescription whenever people are depressed, I guess. Feeling bummed out? Just work until you forget about it!

— Watch out! Those bats might carry a strain of the coronavirus!

— Basically, Hatsuho feels as though her best friend is leaving her behind all. Is this simply because Sakura was appointed the acting captain? Yeah, I don’t get it either. If Sakura was promoted to another team, then maybe I’d understand Hatsuho’s fears. If they were no longer performing on the same stage, she’d have a point. But someone has to be leader, and in the end, they’re sharing the same battlefield.

— Sakura buys a yukata for Klara, ’cause when in Rome, dress like the Romans. This somehow triggers a painful memory in the girl, but like the main plot thread, we get no real answers regarding Klara’s issues for now.

— Oh yeah, Azami decided to spy on the girls. When she sees them all dressed up to the nines, she feels somewhat jealous, but tells herself that “ninjas must never wear flashy outfits.” Yeah… says the girl in the bright yellow floofy getup.

— The night of the festival arrives, so we get to watch Hatsuho perform a dance to welcome the gods. Seems sleep-inducing, but I’ve never been one for religious traditions. In any case, this also triggers another memory in Klara. She must be seeing her older sister…. Leyla, was it?

— Afterwards, Hatsuho teases Sakura all about how the latter couldn’t dance to save her life at first. This eventually segues into a conversation about how far Sakura has come, and thus Hatsuho’s insecurities are laid bare. In a flashback, the two childhood friends had gotten into a fight because Hatsuho used to be better than Sakura at everything. Now that the tables have turned, the shrine maiden isn’t coping too well.

— Well, emotions are irrational, and sometimes, our nastier side just can’t help but reveal itself. Even though Hatsuho probably knows it’s shameful to be jealous of her best friend, the fact of the matter is that she does feel this way. She needs to now accept her weakness and work through her feelings so that she stops putting her team at risk during missions. I just question if one conversation with your BFF beneath a sakura tree is all it takes to get over one’s insecurities.

— There’s this trope where character A is jealous of character B, but then suddenly, character B reveals that they had always wanted to be like character A! And just like that, the problem is solved! Do actual problems always work themselves out in such a neat and tidy fashion? Eh…

— Again, I also wonder what the game’s narrative is like. Hatsuho tells us all about how the team was basically in shambles before Sakura and Seijuro showed up. In fact, they had to rely on someone else to protect Tokyo. I hope I’ll get to see this part of the story in the game, ’cause I’d really like to start from the very, very beginning. The anime series has to make concessions with the narrative in order to fit a single cour, but I’d be really disappointed if the game also glosses over how the team managed to whip itself into shape. Oh well, I’ll find out in about a week…

— When Klara sees the two friends bond, she decides to join them after seeing a memory of herself and her sister. Her hidden powers then decide to activate, and as a result, the 1000-year-old sakura tree that hasn’t bloomed in years suddenly comes to life. There’s no doubt that this is why the bad guys want her back so badly, but where did she even get this ability? Welp, more mysteries to add to the pile.

The way this show keeps building up Jimi Stonefree, I can’t help but feel like the ultimate reveal is gonna be a letdown. But hey, the true gift will be the friends we made along the way!

— In this week’s episode, Echo and Mu hit up a high school that may or may not have information about Jimi Stonefree. And since this is Listeners, the academy certainly is odd in more ways than one. I wonder if these cheerleaders are as bored as the ones in “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

— Basically, the director will hand over a classified file on Stonefree, but only if our heroes look into a drug that has been spreading throughout campus. Apparently, you don’t go to the cops for this sort of thing. You gotta turn to two random children who show up outta nowhere.

— What does the drug do? Let’s just say it puts you in a state of nirvana! Oh ho ho, I’ll be here all day, folks. But in all seriousness, the drug was originally used to help Players de-stress in their battles against the Earless. Naturally, people would get hooked on it and use it back home.

— Wut.

— Also, I’m not sure what the second slur is supposed to be.

— Right off the bat, Mu is popular with the boys. I guess she’s supposed to be a hottie.

— Oof.

— It doesn’t take long, however, for the student council president to hog Mu all to himself. Still, what kind of name is Hole? Sure, our hero’s name is Echo, but Hole? Hole?!

— The student council president helps Mu with her investigation, but it’s really just a tour of the very, very strange high school. For example, there are these weirdos make up the Math Club. And look at these guys! Get it? Smashing Pumpkins? Oh man, nothing like Gen-X references in a zoomer world!

— Last but not least, there’s a guy who has… a naked fairy version of himself? I don’t even know, man.

— If Mu gets a new boy toy, then I guess Echo also gets a new partner. An antisocial girl starts stalking him throughout campus. Eventually, they become friends and bond over their love for Stonefree. Like always, characters in this show talk about how amazing Stonefree was and how he tried to change the world, but no one ever gets into specifics. Even these Stonefree fanatics speak about him in such vague terms. It’s kinda infuriating, honestly.

— Echo also comes for a long line of dense anime protagonists, so he hugs Nir outta nowhere. Well, actions have consequences, which we will see later.

— The kid decides to show off his custom amp to Nir, so she goes and takes it for a joy ride. I guess it doesn’t matter which amp you use, because the Player is who determines the form of the Equipment. That aside, considering how much destructive power these Equipments are capable of, I feel like maybe they should design something to prevent people from just talking over an amp. Something like a key…

— Listeners feels like a story that should’ve gotten a two-cour treatment. As a result, what we get feels very rushed, so I’m still not quite sure I fully understand Nir’s motivation. She felt she had made a genuine connection with Echo, so she thought riding his Equipment would make her feel less lonely? And when that didn’t work, she then tried to commit suicide? I feel like someone like Nir would usually get her own arc. Unfortunately, she gets a single episode.

— In the aftermath, she retreats to the school pool, which is revealed to be the exact location where the Teen Spirit drug is being made… which seems ridiculous to me. I know student council presidents in anime tend to wield an exorbitant amount of control — and conversely, the adults are useless — but manufacturing a drug under everyone’s nose is a bit much.

— Nevertheless, he proceeds to show up and spill the beans. He’s also one of those nihilistic freaks who wants to destroy the world. He doesn’t want to graduate and join the army just to fight the Earless, so he hatched a plan. First, he obviously is going to sell the drug. Second, he thinks Nir is his meal ticket? He can sell her to the army and become a general? If she’s so strong, why wouldn’t the army just recruit her themselves? Why would they need to buy her from him? Honestly, it just goes back to the story feeling super rushed.

— Echo, however, does the usual anime protagonist thing of proclaiming that Nir is his friend. As a result, when he and Nir both fall off the diving board, the girl saves Echo. Hole, however, gets to dunk his pink tighty-whiteys in a pool of drugs.

— Nir then implies that Echo shouldn’t play with her feelings if he already has someone else. She then warns Mu that all players eventually lose their minds. I guess we’re now supposed to wonder if the same had happened to Stonefree. Maybe he got too close to greatness, and lost his mind on that fateful day. But I mean, who knows because the story has been insistent on drip-feeding us with details regarding the legendary Player.

— Before our heroes can question her, Nir decides to just blast off into the night sky. Um, okay? Where is she going to go? Shrug.

— Despite all the damage to the school, the director is just happy that the kids solved the case. Unfortunately, the Stonefree file is heavily redacted. They’ll have to go elsewhere if they want to find out more about the legendary Player, so this means hitting up Denka, which is just the word for “prince.”

— Right before the credits roll, Mu asks if Echo realizes that Nir was a girl. Apparently, he did not. Yep, just another dense anime protagonist.

— I don’t dislike Listeners, but it’s shaping up to be more like Kraft’s instant mac instead of a gussied up version from a sit-down restaurant.

Gag.

— I thought Arte packed several dresses when she left her mother’s home, but I never see her in anything but the same green dress over and over.

— Anyways, there’s more nonsense concerning her young girl crush on Leo. Hoo boy, here we go again.

— She freaks out if his touch ever grazes her. She can barely concentrate when he draws near. She spends her time wondering how to get him to smile. Good lord, can you focus on becoming an artist first before falling in love? Funny I should ask that, because just when I was about to throw in the towel, we meet a prostitute. Wait, that didn’t come out right…

— Veronica wants to commission another portrait, so Leo takes his apprentice along to visit the courtesan. When Arte sees all of the books in Veronica’s study, she’s blown away. Y’see, you gotta be well read if you wanna impress these upper class men who nevertheless visit prostitutes. As a result, Arte can appreciate Veronica’s hustle… or at least she thinks she does.

— In any case, Arte gets her very first job. Not only that, she now gets lots of one-on-one time with Veronica. Our heroine doesn’t exactly have an older woman figure in her life right now, so maybe this is why she starts confiding in her client. Prostitutes aren’t usually who people go to for life lessons, but it’s not like beggars can be choosers.

— Arte starts telling Veronica all about how she feels nervous lately around Leo. Being rather experienced herself, the courtesan knows exactly what has been afflicting Arte’s heart: love. Veronica, however, decides to give our girl a very harsh lesson in life, so she takes Arte to see a rather sad and pitiful woman. We are told that this lady used to be a high-class prostitute much like Veronica, but because she fell in love, she lost sight of her job. Hmm, I dunno. Sure, I want to discourage Arte from chasing after someone old enough to be her father, but this seems a bit extreme.

— Still, if Arte learns anything from this little field trip, it’s hopefully that she needs to be able to stand on her own two feet before she starts getting tripped up with matters of the heart. Unfortunately, Veronica isn’t exactly the sort of person that one can look up to.

— The next time Arte visits Veronica, she sees a man desperate to see Veronica. Unfortunately, he keeps being rejected at every turn. The courtesan reveals that this is just part of her hustle. She plays hard to get because some men just become more devoted to you that way. Arte is disgusted with this, but eh…

— Like I’ve said over and over on this blog, we are ultimately responsible for our own actions. Out of the kindness of her own heart, Veronica could relieve the man’s suffering. But he’s the one who has decided to sit outside her study day after day. He’s the one who has put himself in this position. He’s the one who has decided to drive himself mad over her laughing with other men — yeah, just “laughing.” My point is, she doesn’t have to see him. There’s no moral obligation to give your attention to a man simply because he is in love with you. If someone is crazy over you but you don’t love them back, are you supposed to see them just to lessen their self-inflicted suffering? Of course not. She doesn’t owe him anything, and I cannot blame her for manipulating his heart when he can always walk away. He’s not an abused child.

— Anyways, Arte now finds it difficult to complete the portrait. When she visits the baker, however, she learns that the guy will smile no matter what. Even when a customer insults him to his face, the baker keeps on smiling. Why? ‘Cause he has to do his job no matter what. So just like that, Arte finds her resolve. She even learns to control her emotions around Leo… well, kinda.

— In the end, she fulfills her end of the bargain, but the young girl still finds the need to confront Veronica one last time. Well, that’s her prerogative, but I think she’s being slightly naive (once again). Telling a prostitute to be nicer when the world hasn’t exactly been nice to women in general is kinda silly.

In the first half of the episode, we get a taste of what the future might hold… maybe. I kinda hope that this isn’t the case, but I’ll explain myself in a bit.

— Miyuki wants to throw a moon-viewing party, ’cause he’s always been into astronomy. Kaguya, on the other hand, has no interest in this sort of thing. Still, she’s willing to play along if it means she gets to have alone time with her president. I just find it kinda funny, ’cause none of my exes were into the cosmos either. I, on the other, also wanted to become an astronomer when I was little. Too bad I was too lazy to do my physics homework at uni. Ah, if only I could time travel…

— Kaguya is busy coming up with all these schemes, but her partner is too distracted to feel any shame. As a result, he can be bold. He can throw a jacket over her shoulders without any warning. He can drink from the same cup without any fear. And last but not least, he can embrace her without any hesitation! Oblivious to the fact that Kaguya is freaking out besides him, he pulls her even closer! Why can’t we get this Miyuki every week?! Well, to be fair, I was never this bold as a teenager either…

— About the “indirect kissu” nonsense, it only works with a bottle. With a wide rim cup, it’s kinda silly, isn’t it?

— Well, she’s not wrong…

— This all segues naturally into a conversation about “The Tale of Princess Kaguya.” More specifically, Miyuki confesses that he’d never let his Princess Kaguya go. In fact, he would go to the moon and raise all kinds of hell to get her back. So this is what I meant up top. I can’t help but wonder if what they talk about here is a sign of things to come. Maybe the Shionmiya family will pull her away from the life she knows in order to try and marry her off. After all, Miyuki mentions how Princess Kaguya “did everything she could to reject her suitors.” And let’s say that after Miyuki makes a man out of himself, i.e. graduates from college and gets a respectable job, he’ll finally have the cojones to challenge the Shinomiya family for Kaguya’s hand in marriage.

— So yeah, I don’t want this episode to prophetic, ’cause I hate that sort of thing in romances. I hate it when characters suddenly have to endure a painful separation only to reunite as adults… *coughYourNamecough*… oh, don’t mind me. It’s just the coronavirus.

— Jokes aside, when a couple finally find it within themselves to be honest and straightforward with each other, I just want them to be rewarded. I just want them to stay together without any nonsense coming between them.

— I do have to give the show credit for avoiding one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to romcoms: no goddamn love triangles… well, with the main couple. Look, if Yu gets involved in some stupid tug-of-war between two girls, whatever. I don’t care about him all that much. I’m just glad that Miyuki and Kaguya only seem to have their eyes for the other person and no one else.

— Anyways, Miyuki’s romantic declarations are too much for Kaguya to handle, so she just runs off screaming. The next day, the president finally realizes that he had embarrassed himself, but I mean… it worked, didn’t it? Not only did he get Kaguya to squirm, he even had her in his arms for a brief moment! So why not just keep rolling with it?

— In the second half of the episode, the 67th Student Council finally comes to an end, so the group cleans out the room and reminisce over the silly hijinks from the first season. Yu is particularly bummed, ’cause he had joined so late. Luckily, some things never change.

— Apparently, Chika cries like a Studio Ghibli heroine.

— In the aftermath, the kids discuss whether or not Miyuki should run for student council president again. He initially rejects the idea, because it’s a whole lot of work and he’s already gotten his letter of recommendation. I just find it funny that the role would have so many responsibilities compared to the rest of the team. Sounds like someone needs to do a better job at delegating…

— In any case, Kaguya has two worries: a silly one and a not-so-silly one. Her silly concern is that she no longer knows what to call Miyuki now that he’s no longer the student council president. She has always referred to him as kaichou, i.e. president. Calling him by his family name is rather impersonal, but she can’t quite manage to utter his first name either. Man… this is a major cultural difference that I’ll never understand. I suppose you just have to live in Japan to get it.

— As for Kaguya’s not-so-silly concern, she realizes that they won’t be able to spend as much time together if they’re no longer on the student council. I guess hanging out as friends without any pretense is too much to ask. What do you want her to do? Just walk up to the guy in the middle of school and talk to him? She’s no slut!

— In the end, Kaguya can’t bear the thought of being away from Miyuki, so she swallows her pride. After he walks her all the way to the outside gates of her mansion, she dramatically clings onto him and asks that he run for student council president once more.

— It would’ve been cool if Miyuki had taken this opening to be honest about his feelings. Unfortunately, he decides to be smug instead. These kids, man. Oh well, he’ll drop the pretense one day when he feels that he has no choice but to confess his feelings. Too bad being open and direct only ever happens anime characters are pushed to the point of no return.

— Man, those giant red eyes are kinda scary in the dark if you think about it…

— Oh, it looks like Miyuki has competition. The incumbent usually wins, though.

It ain’t much, but it’s honest work.

— As Catarina gets ready to leave for school, her mother gives her a long lecture on how to act like a proper woman. Man, I wonder if she actually liked the older Catarina better. Says a lot about her if she did.

— This episode will finally introduce us to Maria Campbell, the original heroine of the story. As a result, she’s as cookie-cutter as they come. Naturally, she’s beautiful, but she’s also a commoner blessed with a rare affinity for light magic. The commoner thing is the one that stands out to me most. I can’t tell you how many times I had to watch some sappy Korean drama about a poor girl falling in love with mega princes.

— Catarina’s smart side is right; so much has changed since she’s been reincarnated into this world, so it doesn’t make sense for our heroine to continue fretting over her supposedly inevitable doom. After all, the old Catarina was either killed or exiled because she was a nasty person, right? And the new Catarina is as nice as they come, right? So what is there to worry about? Even if one of the boys falls in love with Maria, why would they suddenly turn around and kill Catarina? It makes no sense. But I guess if we give up on the premise now, we wouldn’t have show.

— In any case, here’s a status update. Catarina tries to get Geordo to break off their engagement, but he absolutely refuses. Why? ‘Cause he’s probably in love with her. I had to laugh when he lures Catarina to his room by offering up “unusual” sweets. First, these aren’t unusual. Oh no, not an old-fashioned tea party! Second, that’s a strategy right out of a predator’s playbook! Unfortunately, it seems as though our heroine is as dense as your average anime protagonist, so she doesn’t realize this.

— Thanks to Catarina being nice to Keith, he no longer becomes a playboy (hah, it’s that easy). Unfortunately, he’s now a creepy lil’ siscon. I’m not sure which is worse.

— Poor Alan has pretty much been NTR’d by Catarina… but on the plus side, he no longer has an inferiority complex. When Maria finishes higher than him on a test, he just shrugs it off. Hell yeah, who needs a fiancée when you can have character development!

— Then we have Nicol, who is still just dark and mysterious… um, alright. I actually don’t know what’s dark and mysterious about him, but I guess we’ll just roll with it.

— What’s this? Yet another boy to add to the harem?!

— Everything seems to be going smoothly for Catarina until the boys mention their fateful first encounters with Maria. For some reason, these stories keep shocking Catarina. I mean, didn’t she play the game? Then again, she’s been in this world for years. I suppose she’s bound to forget the finer details about the game… but the first time the boys meet Maria? Seems like that’s too important to just slip from her mind so easily.

— I feel sorry for the poor maid who has to silently suffer through this exchange.

— I still maintain, however, that Catarina shouldn’t have anything to worry about, since she’s a different person now. But the girl decides that she has to double-down on farming in case she ever gets exiled.

— Eventually, Catarina bumps into Maria herself, and they have a pleasant enough conversation. Catarina even accidentally lets it slip that she knows all about Maria’s talent for baking sweets. It’s amazing how someone like our heroine can stay so slim even though she stuffs herself silly with sugar. Maybe that’s Catarina’s true talent. Just earlier in the episode, she was complaining about how she doesn’t seem to be too good at this spellcasting stuff. Maybe her true talent lies in turning all those calories into nothing.

— Anyways, our heroine randomly comes a cross a bunch of bullies ganging up on Maria. According to anime, a girl’s biggest enemy is almost always the other girls in her class. When people write these stories, do they really feel this way? Or do we just like underdogs that much?

— So Catarina does her thing and scares the bullies off. Girl, you look nothing like a villainess.

— The girl then absent-mindedly eats all of the sweets that had fallen on the grass. Gross. That’s right, I’m not a proponent of the five-second rule. In any case, Catarina realizes later that she was supposed to be one of the bullies. I guess if she doesn’t do her job, this universe will still ensure that certain events carry out in the same fashion.

— Not only that, Geordo was supposed to save Maria from the bullies. But now that Catarina has done the deed instead — and she even gets caught red-handed by her fiancé — I guess Maria will be falling in love with our heroine instead? Oh, you betcha.

— Hm, the whole villainness thing doesn’t really apply to the story anymore. Nor should Catarina really be afraid of death. In the end, this is still just a harem anime, but I guess the small twist is that our heroine might end up with a same-sex partner… if she ever stops being a dense protagonist.

The prologue is finally over.

— Clair really needs to work on her aim. Maybe she should mix in a little CSGO in her daily activities.

— Elena can’t just knock the gun away, I suppose. She has to dramatically knock her sister up into the air. Maybe she wants to demonstrate that Clair is powerless against her? Eh, I dunno. It’s also possible that when she transforms, it takes a while before she can control herself or something.

— Eventually, she does turn back to normal. And eventually, she does reveal why she killed their parents. It’s kinda stupid, though. She tells us that they were bad people. Their father was a politician, and he did bad things. No, really. “Bad things” is all she says. She doesn’t exactly elaborate. On the other hand, all their mother did was cheat. Do I find cheaters reprehensible? Of course I do. But bad enough to kill them? Uh, no. And similarly, unless their father was involved in shit like child trafficking, did he really deserve to die as well?

— Elena ultimately claims that she killed their parents for Clair. She says that it’s her turn to protect her little sister now. That’s kinda stupid, though. Yo, I killed our parents and disappeared without a word. I’m sure you’ll be A-OK on your own without any answers! See? It’s just dumb. Plus, Clair would’ve killed herself had Shuichi not stepped in. Elena probably doesn’t know how about her sister’s suicide attempt, but that’s what makes this even dumber. I wanna protect you, but I have no clue that you were in such a state of despair that you wanted to kill yourself!

— Finally, Elena gets an important phone call, so she has to leave. Before she goes, she asks if Clair still has the gold coin she had given her. I’m not sure why Clair decides to lie, but she does. As a result, Elena gives her another one. Right before departing, she tells Clair to “make good use of the coin.” See, this is another thing I don’t get. It’s plainly obvious why she gave Clair the coin: go and fix Shuichi. But then why be vague about it? What if your little sister doesn’t get your hint? Wouldn’t this screw Shuichi over just because you decided to be vague for no damn reason?

— Plus, when Elena learned that a girl was inside Shuichi, she got so mad that she tore off his head. But now, she walks away like she doesn’t even give a damn about him. How does that make sense?

— Sure enough, Clair doesn’t actually understand what Elena is trying to tell her, so she’s about to kill herself with the gun. All of a sudden, Shuichi’s head pipes up and tells her not to die. Up until this point. Clair had assumed that he was already dead. Maybe Elena thought the same thing? Maybe she gave her little sister another coin for a different reason? Eh.

— With renewed hope, Clair goes to the abandoned motel where you can find the Alien and his stupid vending machine. Apparently, he’s very much into manga. Hm, I thought he had a ship to fix.

— The Alien freaks out when he sees Shuichi’s current state, but I wonder if he’s feigning it or not. I don’t really think this guy can be trusted.

— In exchange for a coin, the Alien hands over a drink that should fix Shuichi up. Something about manipulating microbes. Alright then.

— Unfortunately for the girl, she has to wait for Shuichi’s head to reattach while wearing nothing but her underwear. Clair is a little too well-developed for a freshmen, don’t you think? As a result, Alien guy decides to get a little too handsy, which promptly earns him a knee to the crotch. Shuichi then yells at Clair as if she had done something wrong. She was about to get groped, no? Are you not supposed to kick creeps in the balls?

— Well, since Clair won’t let the Alien play with her body, the latter goes ahead and eats a strand of her hair. In doing so, he is able to morph into a perfect replica of the girl. Well, except for the voice. Apparently, that won’t change.

— The Alien also tries to tempt Clair into trying one of his potions, but she flat out refuses. Personally, I don’t trust the Alien, so I want nothing to do with his stupid magic elixirs. It’s clear that they have just as many drawbacks as they do benefits. But we have to consider something else…

— Clair explains that you have to accept yourself no matter cards life has dealt you. Otherwise, you might as well kill yourself. It’s interesting that she would say that considering the fact that she did try to kill herself. So she knows she’s weak and she doesn’t really love herself. The only difference now is that she has Shuichi.

— Maybe Clair feels that she would no longer need Shuichi if she got stronger, and that’s exactly what she doesn’t want. She actually wants to depend on Shuichi. The girl has latched onto him, and she’s not going to let go without a fight. I suppose this says something about power: it can grant you independence, but independence can be lonely. For a girl who seemed to have lost her family overnight, Clair needs someone to hold onto. It’s almost as if she feels safe and protected inside Shuichi’s “womb.”

— Dense anime protagonists are gonna dense, though.

— The Alien then proceed to give his little recruiting speech. Oh, his brethren turned themselves into coins for the arduous interstellar travel. Unfortunately, they crashed into Earth and the coins went flying everywhere! Since he can’t fix the ship and find his buddies at the same time, he needs our help! Yeah, sure. Aliens capable of spacefaring and genetic manipulation can’t find a bunch of goddamn coins on their own. This is exactly why I don’t trust this guy. I bet you he’s getting his rocks off watching a lesser species fight over his coins.

— If you collect 100 coins, you’ll get a really special prize! Like what? An extra life? Well, the Alien will grant you even more power! You can even become a manga character with planet-destroying abilities if you wanted to!

— The kids tell the Alien that they’ll think about it, but they’ll definitely join the race for the coins. Clair will likely do so probably because she still has unsettled business with her sister. Plus, this sort of thing probably invigorates the girl. Whereas Shuichi wants to be normal, Clair is probably the type who would love to indulge in shounen-esque fantasies. At one point, he tells her not to use the gold coins, because things will get even more dangerous from here on out. Clair replies that she never had any intention on taking the Alien up on his offer, but not for the reason that Shuichi thinks. Rather, she doesn’t need to, because she has him. She’s still going to participate in the coin hunt, though.

— On the other hand, Shuichi needs to find his own reason to join the fight, which brings us to the next school day. Shuichi has changed both physically and mentally. When a jerk in the hallway tries to push him around, our protagonist becomes a classic Chad. Even the girls have taken notice.

— Mifune, however, serves as Shuichi’s one last meaningful connection to normalcy. For example, he no longer needs to wear glasses, but she tells him that “[they] weren’t so bad,” i.e. she preferred his old look but she’s too shy to outright admit it.

— In any case, Shuichi decides to get her opinion on something that he’s been struggling with. He asks her what she would do if someone out there had the power to end the world. The girl gives a standard enough answer: she would try to stop the bad guy in order to protect her loved ones. Welp, that just about does it for Shuichi. That’s his reason to hunt for the gold coins.

— Clair briefly listens in on this conversation, but she eventually leaves with a slight frown on her face. I wonder why. Jealousy, perhaps? Maybe she wishes he would have come to her instead? Who knows…

— Right before the credits roll, we see the kids ready themselves for a hike through the nearby woods and mountains. I’m sure it’ll be very chill and relaxing.

Our heroine comes to the melancholy realization that Anima City is now her home.

— Michiru sticks a leaf on her head and tries to turn herself back into a human. It’s a tanuki thing, I guess.

— She then gets news of her residency directly from the mayor. In the process, we get to learn all sorts of things about beastmen and their city. Yeah, it’s pretty much just exposition. Luckily, the delivery is not as dry and boring as in other shows.

— For some odd reason, beastmen are not allowed to connect to human websites. Seems racist, right? But it sounds like they are okay with this. The reasoning is that they’ve lived without humans for so long, so why should they start relying on them now? I think that’s dumb, though. It’s a classic example of cutting your nose off to spite your face. When has an exchange of ideas ever been a bad thing? Hell, the mayor is a former scientist. She should know better than this.

— Plus, did they build this city from scratch without any knowledge from humans? Really?

— We’re also told that cross-breeds absolutely do not exist among beastmen. An offspring of an interspecies marriage will only look like one of their parents. Which one? Shrug. Maybe it’s a coin flip.

— Finally, our heroine is a special case. She may look like a beastman, but she’s not exactly comprise of the same “stuff.”

— Anyways, when Michiru leaves City Hall, Mary immediately offers up a SIM card that can bypass the internet restriction. It’s a bit coincidental, don’t you think? How does mink know exactly what the tanuki is looking for? Does she have a source inside City Hall? Is she tapping the mayor’s office? Either way, Michiru quickly agrees to Mary’s tall prices. I guess I would too. Even if the mink can hardly be trusted, I can’t imagine living without the internet.

— Elsewhere, we see Giuliano kill one of his subordinates in cold blood. Shirou had wanted to question the guy, but it’s too late now. Still, how come he can’t just arrest the beluga whale for murder right here and now? Maybe Giuliano is too big to take down?

— With her fancy new SIM card, Michiru logs onto her Facelook account. Welp, it must be tough to spend your birthday away from your family and in a strange place. She quickly notices, however, someone in Anima City doing a livestream. When she tries to approach the girl, she is immediately knocked unconscious.

— Man, Anima City is a dump. Sure, all big cities are full of crime, but Michiru is literally assaulted and kidnapped in broad daylight. She was in a public place, too! In the Shin Megami Tensei games, if you ever pick the Chaotic route, you usually get an ending where the world is one huge mess because might makes right is an inherently unstable philosophy. And it’s the same exact issue here. Obviously, discrimination is wrong, but these beastmen aren’t doing themselves any favor by running a crime-ridden city.

— When Michiru wakes up, she quickly learns that she had tried to approach Guiliano’s daughter Nina. Luckily, the two of them become fast friends because Nina is like a weeaboo for human culture, and… well, Michiru has actually lived in the human world.

— Nina briefly talks about her dad and why he hates humans so much. Hm, yeah, I guess some people still do eat dolphins. I’m not remotely interested in trying it.

— While talking to Nina, Michiru starts reminiscing about the times she used to spend with her best friend. Her best friend should be somewhere here in Anima City, right? Either way, our heroine uses her sadness as determination to suddenly transform into her human form. Hm, I guess it just comes down to willpower.

— Well, Nina was invited to a house party, so she decides to drag Michiru along. This sounds like a terrible idea, but teenagers are known for doing reckless things.

— Funnily enough, the theme of the party is to masquerade as beastmen.

— Apparently, beastmen don’t even know how to make macarons. See, this is why we need the internet! For frou frou French pastries!

— Nina is so ecstatic to attend her first human party that she accidentally reveals her beastman identity to all the party goers. These kids, however, don’t actually hate her… kinda. This is when the episode’s not-quite-subtle social commentary kicks in.

— The party host drags Nina onstage and starts talking about how her new “friend” must be struggling with with anti-beastman discrimination. The dolphin, however, has lived her entire life in Anima City. She’s definitely been discriminated against, but she’s barely even conscious of it. Plus, it’s not like these human kids are actually doing anything substantive to help achieve equality. Instead of going out there and protesting, they’re throwing a party. So y’know, this is reminiscent of people co-opting minority issues in order to path themselves on the back. It’s like saying you feel bad for Native Americans, so let’s wear headdresses. I could also make the blackface comparison… The point is that young people tend to turn social issues into fads.

— They then go and have Nina perform tricks like some sort of circus animal. The girl, however, is too blissfully feeding off of the attention to really care about the screwed up dynamic at hand.

— Meanwhile, Michiru return to the human world has been more bitter than sweet. She comes to the realization that she can’t just plop back into the human world and feel at home anymore. She feels what most halfies feel: they don’t quite belong to one culture, but they don’t belong to the other culture either. Even if she ever does manage to cure her beastman “affliction,” it’s not like she can just go back to a world that actively hates who she used to be. Even the kids at this party aren’t quite so tolerant. Michiru overhears a couple girls talking about how they still don’t truly tolerate beastmen. It’s all just lipservice.

— So of course, Michiru asks Nina if they could go home, but the dolphin thinks that her new friend is just jealous. Shirou, however, quickly tells Michiru that they need to get Nina back to Anima City before Giuliano starts a stupid war with humans.

— Elsewhere, we see Mary teasing Shirou for needing Michiru’s help. I guess there’s a growing trust between him and the tanuki. They’re kinda like the classic odd cop duo. As an aside, I wonder how well he and Mary know each other.

— When our heroine returns to the party, she finds Nina trapped in a water tank. Apparently, these kids are too dumb to know that dolphins are mammals. Hell, that’s like elementary school biology. But again, it’s unsubtle social commentary. They want to talk about discrimination, but they don’t know a damn thing about the minorities that they are referring to.

— So of course, Michiru has to go into beast mode in order to save her new friend. It’s like an acknowledgement that she can’t just deny one half of herself. She needs to embrace her beastman side if she wants to achieve anything in this world.

— In the end, Michiru takes Nina back home with Shirou’s help (and a little assistance from a certain mischievous mink). The dolphin, however, has no regrets. Having lived in a bubble all her life, she’s grateful for the new experience… uh, even though she nearly died. I dunno, things could’ve gone a lot worse. For instance, she could’ve run into actual haters. Had that been the case, she’d be singing a different tune.

— Rather, it’s Michiru who has come to an epiphany: unlike the ignorant teenagers at the party, she’s going to make an earnest effort to learn more about beastmen. Only then can she make an informed decision about what she should do next.

— Still, she was able to turn back into a human and maintain the form for quite a while. Is there any reason she isn’t using it now? It’s not like beastmen use their beast form all the time. When in Rome…

— Oh yeah, that evil-looking CEO is still headed for Anima City. In fact, he has taken quite an interest in our duo. His company probably had a hand in Michiru’s condition, huh? But Shirou’s immortality is unnatural as well. I certainly don’t know of any invincible wolves. Maybe he’s also been a test subject.

— Right before the credits roll, Michiru sees a happy birthday post from her mother. She considers tapping the Like button, but thinks better of it. I guess it wouldn’t be safe for her or her family if she potentially reveals herself? I doubt the girl is on a VPN, and even then, your IP isn’t exactly secure.

So your girl dumps ya. In the immortal words of Bart Simpson, “Don’t have a cow, man.”

— Hatsuharu visits Rin in the hospital, and she does not look like she’s in a good mental place. Why is she in the hospital? Beats me. But knowing this show, it’s probably due to her parents. Fruits Basket is filled to the brim with bad parents.

— He tries to give her some flowers, but she immediately knocks it to the ground. Wow, rude much? She then tells Haru that she’s tired of him. Again, knowing this show, she’s probably just trying to protect him. Remember: parents bad, kids good. Have you met an evil young person yet? Besides, of course, Akito, but considering how she rules this family with an iron fist, she’s kinda like their parent anyway.

— By the way, I binged through the first season by watching the dub. As a result, I somewhat miss Momiji’s silly German accent. The original voice just sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

— Everyone’s looking forward to the school trip to Kyoto, which also means Tohru’s best friends also get to tease Kyo about Tohru. After all, he’s the classic tsundere archetype, and they usually win the girl in these romance series, don’t they?

— Personally, they’re both annoying albeit for different reasons. You would need an infinite amount of patience to look past Kyo’s temper, which is why Tohru is the way that she is, I suppose. As for Yuki, he’s just one of those people who needs to help himself before he gets with someone, y’know? You shouldn’t bring that baggage into a relationship.

— Still, the whole Kyo versus Yuki thing is weird to me, because at the moment, Tohru is so… romantically inert. I’m sure she’ll eventually realize that she likes one of them, but at the moment, she’s just like a little sister who cooks and cleans after them.

— Anyways, Momiji has some bad news. Apparently, he’s gone “dark” due to being dumped by Rin. Y’know, I wanna have a good look at that Sohma family tree. I’m sure these kids are probably distant cousins, but still! Yeah, yeah, it’s a different culture and anime has a penchant for pseudo-incest in general, but I’ve never seen this much cousin-loving before.

— Hatsuharu is busy trashing an entire classroom, because he’s an idiot. I mean, if you wanna take your aggression out on something, try not to be so goddamn conspicuous about it. Then again, maybe the ox is crying out for help in the only way that he knows how.

— But before he can get that help, he gets a left hook from Kyo for grabbing Tohru. I’m kinda surprised Yuki just stands there calmly. Maybe this is why the tsundere usually wins. They tend to jump into action when the situation calls for it.

— Eventually, a teacher shows up and cools the two hot heads down. Imagine that… a teacher actually doing something useful in an anime. Other shows have taught me that schools are barely even staffed!

— Afterwards, Hatsuharu returns to normal, and he’s even in a good enough mood to joke around with Kyo. I guess we sometimes just need to scream out our frustrations. Even so, he could’ve done this without breaking stuff. He probably won’t get expelled, but I feel like this is the sort of thing that would normally kick kids outta school.

— Tohru is her typical empathetic self, so she wants to help Hatsuharu with whatever ails him. Kyo wants to be overprotective, but he quickly remembers that he hurt her back in the first season. Well, what now? Is he going to avoid her all of a sudden? Don’t take two steps back after finally managing to go one step forward.

— Ultimately, the only person who can talk to Hatsuharu is Yuki. And because Hatsuharu is still sore over losing his lover, maybe he wants to spare his friend from the same fate. As a result, he tells Yuki to start calling Tohru by her first name. He seems to be implying that the rat will lose ground to the cat if he doesn’t push forward.

— Meanwhile, the rat mopes about how he’s so self-centered even though he’s taking his time to talk to a friend. This why I can’t stand guys like Yuki. Like c’mon, man… you’re like a walking, talking Livejournal with all that angst.

— The kids eventually learns that Hatsuharu has been suspended from school. That’s a lighter punishment than I was expecting. I mean, he scared his classmates and shattered some windows. His friends might understand the whole light/dark bullshit that he goes through, but everyone else doesn’t. They just know that he’s a potential danger to them.

— Tohru continues to express her concerns, so Yuki decides that he needs to do the right thing: he needs to confront his fears and return to the Sohma estate. This way, he can try and cheer Hatsuharu up.

— The lingering trauma, however, gets stronger and stronger the closer that Yuki gets to the Sohma estate. At one point, it seems as though he might pass out. To make matters worse, this old lady tries to lecture him about how he made Akito worry. Man, they sound like cultists. Either that or some serious codependency issues but somehow on a family scale.

— Yuki finally makes his way to Hatsuharu’s room just to find the ox playing video games. Five hours? That’s it? You gotta pump those numbers up! Those are rookie numbers!

— More importantly, the ox is in relatively good spirits. In fact, he tells Yuki that he won’t give up on Rin. Well, they do say that oxen are stubborn. In fact, that’s all I heard growing up. “Oh, you’re born in the year of the ox! No wonder you’re such a hard-headed child!”

— Well, Yuki is encouraged to see Hatsuharu doing so well. And who knows? Maybe Hatsuharu’s resolve will find its way to Yuki via osmosis. Maybe we’ll see the rat try even harder to win Tohru over.

— But Kyo is also practicing his moves at the dojo. Metaphor for him working hard as well? Or maybe he’s also got frustrations to let out. Eh.

— Either way, it doesn’t really matter if Tohru doesn’t undergo some sort of romantic awakening, i.e. she starts seeing these boys as more than just friends. After all, we cut to our heroine sitting at the dinner table patiently. Her stomach is growling, but she wouldn’t dare start eating first. She’s either a mother figure or a little sister. Either way, she’s just way too dutiful, and there’s not a romantic bone in her body. Not right now, anyways.

— Right before the episode ends, when Yuki starts running home, we see Rin staring at him with an almost menacing look. Hoo boy. I’m sure we’re going to get a feels trip regarding her pretty soon.

— I just remembered something: right before the pandemic shut nearly everything down, my local theater was going to screen the first few episodes of Fruits Basket S2. Having now seen the first four episodes, that would’ve been a waste of a ticket. I don’t think the show’s super bad or anything, but at the same time, these episodes aren’t special enough for that sort of treatment.

Well, I decided to drop Tower of God, so at least I will only have to watch one boring show instead of two on Wednesdays.

— Licht will undergo the Aces operation, and naturally, Class A isn’t happy about it. They don’t want their newly appointed commander to put his life on the line. But hey, a shounen hero’s gotta do everything he can in order to save his friends, right?

— Yo, he literally just said that.

— Hina wants to stop the operation, but again, Jail refuses. After all, if the future changes, this means Alcia might disappear! Isn’t that sort of asinine, though? I mean, let’s just think back to why Nana sent these idiots back in time in the first place. Three or four episodes ago — I forget the exact number — Jail had a conundrum. Even though Licht defeated the bad guys and protected civilians from that attack helicopter, the Special Service (a not-so-subtle reference to the SS) wanted Jail to hand our hero over. Otherwise, Jail’s men would die. Despite going on and on about his convictions, Jail didn’t even think of trying to save both his men and Licht. So Nana slapped some sense into him, and sent him and the rest of the team back in time. So what do we see now? We see Jail droning on and on about how he won’t trade one life for all the people in Alcia. Wow, it’s that easy to lose sight of your convictions, huh? I thought he would want to try and save both.

— Plus, it’s not even a fair comparison. If you change the past so that future events are altered, you’re not actually killing anyone. Those people will simply not exist. They will be replaced by new people who would exist in the new timeline. But whatever. I don’t subscribe to this time-traveling theory anyways. In the more tenable scenario in which the timeline splits in twain, you’ll get to keep your stinkin’ kingdom in the sky anyways!

— Jail’s bizarre code of ethics comes into question again in another scene. Without Licht to protect her, Sonohara gets bullied by that ugly bastard yet again. He even steals one of her stars. Jail walks in on this and basically does nothing. I thought he wanted to protect the weak. But instead, he pretty much gives her a stern talking to about how she needs to pull herself up by her bootstraps. There’s a middle ground between coddling someone and condoning a bully’s actions. I just think it’s kinda messed up that Jail pretty much lets the ugly bastard do whatever he wants.

— Meanwhile, Lynn feels guilty. Why? Because a part of her doesn’t actually want to save Licht. ‘Cause y’see, if Licht doesn’t become a Legendary Ace, then he won’t be able to rescue her in the future! Imagine that… future Licht was so fucked up by his traumas that he broke down in front of them. But golly, that romantic doki doki moment, though! I gotta preserve it!

— Then we get some bizarre scene in which Pele jumps on top of Lynn, stuffs a veggie down her throat, and tells her not to make him horny? Wha…?

— Ultimately, it’s up to Hina to save the day. She can’t stop the operation anymore. It’s too late for that. But even if Licht becomes an Ace, she argues that they can stop him from becoming the Ace that murders millions of people. All of a sudden, Jail shows up and agrees with her. Yup yup, we can totally try this! See, this is bizarre to me. Alcia only comes about if one side wins the war and fucks off with all the resources. You’ll still create a horrible solution where the victors get to run off and live in their magical fantasy land in the sky while everyone else suffers in the Abyss. But hey, as long as we get to protect Licht and our own people, who cares about the rest of the world, right?

— Won’t they lose the war if Licht doesn’t become that Licht? Hina nevertheless argues that regular Licht is stronger than edgy Licht anyways… but they were all gonna die to the SS until the latter showed up. Ah whatever.

— Right on cue, we are told that the operation is going well. Licht’s life won’t be in danger. I find it weird that Hina and the others are so happy to hear this. After all, nothing has changed. They are in the past. They are from a future in which Licht is alive. So of course the operation will succeed. It has to because nothing has changed.

— Lynn is now in good spirits again, so Pele decides to indirectly confess his feelings to her. I guess he’s always had a thing for her. Sure, whatever.

— All of a sudden, attack helicopters arrive and just starts murdering students left and right. It’s like they said last week: they’ve been betrayed by other countries. The date of the war got moved up, so now they have to fight. Firenda seems pleased, though. After all, she now gets to carry out her inhuman project.

— Not only are the foreign soldiers here to kill the students, they’ll molest the girls at the same time.

— Basically, the power’s been cutoff, so Licht’s life is back in danger. Hina tells everyone that they have to do everything they can to save Licht. Again, if we assume that past events have not been significantly altered — and there’s no reason to think that they have — then there also isn’t really anything to worry about. Licht can’t die, because his place in the future is guaranteed.

— Nevertheless, Class A tells itself that they will become the army that doesn’t kill! Now, I’m no medical expert, but it sure does look like this dude got killed!

— Some action follows, but they’re not very interesting. The only thing of note is we get to see exactly how Alan ends up with that massive scar in the future.

— Anyways, the episode ends with Hina praying that they can save Licht. I didn’t even bother to watch the previews. Who cares? Back to work for me.

Imagine going to sleep as a salaryman and waking up to a 12-year-old fiancée! Even better, imagine being the clown who would write this sort of story.

— So the cardinal invites Wendelin over for a baptismal. Apparently, it’s a huge honor in this world. It’s such a huge honor that the kid offers up fat stacks of gold. After all, he’s not really a kid. Mentally, Well is well (no pun intended) into his 30s, so he should know a thing or two about what it takes to curry favor. Gotta kiss ass, man.

— When the cardinal’s granddaughter enters the room, the topic shifts over to her beauty, her aptitude for the oh-so-rare holy magic — gotta have a healer for your party! — and how every family is asking for her. Hm, I feel like I’m forgetting something… some very important detail… oh yeah, she’s only 12! Imagine pimping your own granddaughter out for power and influence.

— Now, you might say, “But wait, Wendelin is currently only 13!” Is he, though? Is he really only 13? If this was a standard fantasy anime, then yes, he’d only be 13. But this is an isekai. This is an isekai about yet another bored, lonely salaryman who needs to feel alive by escaping to a fantasy world. The only difference here is that not only can he marry all the waifus, he has to start collecting them at a young age. Good lord, at least My Next Life as a Villainess‘s Caterina was only 17 when she got isekai’d. It ain’t much better, but it’s not a 30-something dude creeping on 12 year olds while pretending to be wholesome.

— Plus, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t say that some magical 1000-year-old loli from whatever degenerate anime series is perfectly legal, and at the same time, pretend that Well isn’t middle-aged.

— Finally, I have a hard time believing that this is a 12-year-old girl.

— The best part is how Well isn’t really concerned about Elise’s age. Sure, in this universe, it’s common for families to marry their kids off at a young age. But our hero’s not from this universe. You don’t just lose your morals in six or seven years.

— Shortly afterwards, we find Wendelin dressing like a clown because he is one. But more specifically, he’s trying to avoid people from recognizing him on the streets. After all, his ass is scorching hot right now, and they all want to become his retainer. The guy from last week’s episode has apparently studied Wendelin’s dental records.

— Our exasperated hero ends up just appointing Er to be his retainer, because he’s got more important things on his mind. Things like chatting up his new fiancée. She might be the first, but she won’t be the last.

— Speaking of fiancées, Iina and Louise are dismayed to learn that Er has gotten ahead of them in the pecking order. They could also join him in becoming Wendelin’s retainers, but why stop there? So what’s the next best option? Apparently, it’s to become a concubine. These girls wouldn’t even dream of being engaged to him, because they are not of noble stock. Meh, I’m sure he’ll find a way to marry them anyways.

— Iina doesn’t hesitate either. She tries to perform the mating dance of her people, but the poor girl doesn’t have a seductive bone in her body.

— The sad thing is that Iina and Louise barely know this guy, so they’re in the same boat as Elise. They don’t desire a relationship with him because they actually like him. They’re pursuing him for their own gain. Oh, I’m sure all of his waifus will eventually fall in love with him for purely romantic reasons. But for now, their only intention is to use him.

— Oh well, at least these girls support each other? Iina sews together quite a skimpy lingerie for Louise. Gotta love it when your BFF has your back. “Look, if this guy wants to bone, he’s gotta bone both of us.”

— What follows is just Well getting to know his fiancée a little better. They have their first date, he buys her a 300-million-yen engagement ring that has a fancy trick to it, they have a ride in a carriage under the starry night sky, yadda yadda yadda.

— The point here is that Wendelin is sooooooo different, you guys. He’s not like the rest of these vile schemers! He’s interested in people for who they are! He doesn’t see Elise as Saint Whatever! Rather, he sees her as the endearing 12-year-old girl that he wants to learn all about!

With Appare-Ranman! going on hiatus due to the virus, I really wonder if I’ll have anything left to watch by the end of the season. Oh well, onto yet another episode of Sakura Wars.

— I finally got my hands on the game yesterday. I’m partway into chapter 2, so I guess the anime series is a sequel of sorts. In the game, Seijuro has only just joined the team, and it’s in quite a disarray. The shows are a chaotic mess, and in general, and the team is considered a laughing stock in its own country. Nevertheless, Sumire wants Seijuro to whip the girls into shape so that they can win the Combat Games. Doing so will turn public opinion completely around. I could be wrong, but this feels like it would be the final event in the game. After all, chapter 2 is about just putting together a decent show, because the theater is about to run out of money. No, really. They spent a ton on Seijuro’s mecha, so they’re deep in the red.

— I’ll return to talk about the game once I’ve made a little more progress. For now, I’ll just say that it’s okay… it’s clearly a low budget game.

— Oh yeah, I still don’t really know what demons are or where they come from. I guess the game just assumes that you’ve either played the previous games or watched the older anime series.

— Anyways, the episode begins with Azami still being suspicious of Klara. She thinks that the Russian girl might actually have been responsible for the destruction of the Moscow Combat Revue. Why? ‘Cause of that one blurry ass photo from last week’s episode. I don’t think Azami is the brightest ninja. Hell, I don’t even think she’s a good ninja.

— ‘Cause she gets caught repeatedly just trying to tail an unsuspecting Russian girl. She even gets caught by her own target! Plus, I’m no special ninja, but try not to openly glare at the person you’re supposed to be spying on.

— Man, now I’m hungry even though it’s only 9am. That’s a lot of rice for a small piece of fish, though.

— Unfortunately, the first 60% of the episode doesn’t really have much to it. It’s really just one silly hijink after another. For example, the girls end up walking in on a naked Reiji.

— We also learn that Klara has been caring for a stray kitten on the roof. I don’t think that’s a great place to hide a small animal. Wouldn’t it get cold at night? Plus, cats need a litter box… but what do I know? It’s not like I own some fat idiot who screams for attention at 4am every morning.

— Eventually, Valery shows up just to say a few cryptic words to Klara. The next time we see him, he continues to bug Sumire about taking the girl back to Russia. Naturally, Sumire continues to turn him down, so around and around we go. Hell, Seijuro is still away on a mission. This plot thread is going nowhere fast. I wonder if they thought that the game’s story would be too long to adapt. It’s funny, because I feel like this story might be stretched out too thin for the anime series.

— In any case, Azami continues to stalk Klara when a demon shows up outta nowhere. Well, I’m sure Valery had a hand in it.

— Azami and Claris take their turns trying to defeat it, but it’s obvious that they need their mechas in order to do any real damage. Unfortunately, those are currently out of commission. Reiji tries to play the hero, but you can tell that this episode isn’t trying to be very serious.

— Eventually, Klara lends a hand with her special ability, so Claris’s book magic (no, really) is strong enough to subdue the demon. I guess Klara is like an amplifier of sorts. Strap her onto your back and you’ll exceed your limits.

— In the confusion, Black Cape swoops in and kidnaps the girl. But right on cue, White Cape shows up and spoils his fun. And that’s it. It’s the same damn thing that happened in the second episode albeit much, much abbreviated. I dunno, man… the anime storyline just feels like its spinning its wheels. This is the fifth episode, but we’ve barely made any progress.

— Plus, why are these girls so weak if this follows the game? Shouldn’t they be competent by now? And yet, Black Cape pretty much embarrasses them every time he shows up.

— In the aftermath, Klara lets the girls visit her special spot, which is just a nice view of the city. Anime characters love nice views. Luckily, Azami’s curiosity has now been sated. She no longer believes that Klara is a spy. Great.

I never got into Prince. I’d like to say I was born a little too late to appreciate him, but this sort of statement is never really true. There are plenty of people younger than me who think he’s brilliant. What I can say is that since contemporary music artists like The Weeknd are inspired by Prince, I suppose you could argue that I like Prince indirectly. Oh well, onto the episode…

— So we begin with a flashback. As we already know, Project Freedom was an attempt to rid the world of the Earless. We learn this week, however, that there are people who actually want to coexist with the Earless. They are known as the Mystics. Unfortunately, Denka (a.k.a. Prince) told his team that they’ll just have to lie to their allies. Ah, the classic “the good guys aren’t so good” heel turn.

— Ever since the failure of Project Freedom, it seems as though Prince has been moping around in his floating palace. Seriously, this is like supervillainy stuff. He also has this ridiculous painting of Jimi. Yup, he was basically in love with the guy.

— Oh hey, I get that reference! Also, how exactly is this man supposed to exude sexiness? I mean, I know this stuff is subjective, but c’mon.

— Also, you can’t just communicate with Denka directly. You have to play this ridiculous game of telephone. You start at the bottom of the stairs and work your way up. Eventually, the information gets to the man himself, but does it make it there in one piece? Shrug. So, uh, what do these people do? Do they really just around all day in order to deliver messages to Denka?

— Right after the OP, we see that the kids have run into some relationship woes. Echo is mad that Mu spent their money on a futon, but she only did it for him. So like always, the real issue here is a lack of communication.

— But as much as they would like to go their separate ways, fate conspires to bring them together.

— Man, look at that 80’s hairstyle.

— Echo and Mu take on part-time jobs in order to try and see Denka. Mu is Girl Six whereas Echo is Boy Nine. Oh, I get it. Hah, it’s a sex joke. ‘Cause sexy, am I right?

— They have Mu doing some sort of sexy telephone service. I guess guys pay money to ask you questions about dumb shit? I dunno, I think this was a minigame in one of the Yakuza games. Are kids even allowed in these establishments? I guess they are in this universe, ’cause Echo also visits the joint later in the episode.

— Speaking of Echo, at least he gets to do something he’s actually passionate about. But when he gets his first paycheck, his supervisor pretty much runs off with it. While the kid despondently wanders through the streets, he runs into Mr. Kid, a.k.a. Totally-Not-Denka. I’m sorry, but how does Echo not recognize the guy! Didn’t he and Mu get a photo of Denka and Jimi? Yes, they did! And doesn’t Echo study the players’ almanac forwards and backwards? Yes, he does! So how does he not recognize Denka standing right before him? Later in the episode, Totally-Not-Denka will reveal himself to be Totally-Denka, and both kids act as if they never saw it coming. Shrug.

— In any case, the two of them have a private chat in a secluded park. Totally-Not-Denka pretty much implies that he feels guilty for his actions ten years ago. They did betray the Mystics… and perhaps more. He also blabbers on and on about how love has been at a standstill since that day. I don’t know what that means, but there’s a lot about this show that I don’t understand. Nevertheless, we’re supposed to believe that Echo and Mu can somehow bring a revolution to this world. Totally-Not-Denka seems to believe that the love between them — platonic or otherwise — is meaningful. Maybe if this show had more episodes to develop their relationship, I might see that…

— Totally-Not-Denka argues that Echo isn’t really being honest with himself. After all, he decided to leave his hometown just to travel with her. But I dunno… maybe that’s love, but it’s not like passionate, “Babe, I’d do anything for you” love. But eh, what do I know?

— Eventually, Echo and Mu sorta make up, but they were never really fighting in the first place. They just needed a little bit of space from each other, because this sort of thing happens to all friends and couples. And as soon as they put their differences behind them, they are challenged by these two ladies. Basically, just more badass Players… but these Players haven’t exactly done anything meaningful in the past ten years, so I don’t know if they can really be considered badass anymore.

— Echo and Mu lose the match pretty badly, so Totally-Not-Denka gives them some advice for the rematch. Something about facing each other, i.e. be open and honest, take your relationship to the next level, etc. I dunno, take your pick. Listeners doesn’t slow down to develop its ideas, because I don’t think it has the time to do so. Because as soon as the rematch begins, Echo and Mu quickly have the upper hand. What exactly did they change? How exactly did they face each other and thus improve their teamwork? Why is their love stronger than their opponents’ love? I have no clue. We just have to put our trust in the results.

— All of a sudden, the Earless are here. Emboldened by the kids’ victory, Denka finally jumps into action. In doing so, he reveals that his entire city is his Equipment. Welp.

— In the aftermath, he also reveals quite a few juicy tidbits about his days with Jimi. Not only did they betray the Mystics, they also betrayed Jimi. Hm, so the guy is all about peace and love. Like the Mystics, he wanted to embrace the Earless with open arms, but us humans were too close-minded and scared to accept his “revolution.” Okay, okay.

— Also, the reason why Mu looks so much like Jimi is because she might be his little sister? Hm, let’s see about that.

— In any case, the kids’ journey continues. Denka tells them that the Mystics have retreated into hiding after the betrayal, but maybe the kids’ love can touch their hearts or whatever. Man, this shaping up to be quite a quest.

— Oh yeah, I haven’t mentioned this before, but MAPPA went through the trouble to give these episodes a unique ED. It’s kinda cool I guess.

In this week’s episode, Arte learns squeeze an old man for money… in a wholesome way.

— At the start of the episode, Arte’s stomach is growling because Leo likes to fast on Fridays. He’s not religious or anything. Rather, he just cares that much about his art. In order to afford the best tools for his work, he’ll dress shabbily and cut back on food. Well, that’s real dedication, but there’s no reason why Arte should do the same. In fact, I’d argue that she absolutely shouldn’t do the same. At her age, she’s still growing, so I like to think that she needs all the nutrients she can get.

— When the girl returns to the workshop, she finds Leo being accosted by Ubertino, a longtime client. When the old man finally leaves, she learns that Leo has been asked to produce an extravagant painting at the cheapest price possible. Oh, Ubertino is willing to pay a lot for a work of art, but not a penny over. Basically, the workshop won’t profit from this project.

— Arte offers to negotiate in Leo’s stead, because she sees this as an opportunity to hone her people skills. Yeah, that makes sense. But y’know, I feel like it’s also smart to learn how to walk away from difficult clients. Sometimes, dealing with them is more trouble than they’re worth, and “No” is always a complete sentence. There are, however, reasons for why Leo can’t say no to Ubertino. Ultimately, it boils down to the fact that he actually cares for the geezer. He just doesn’t have the personality to admit this sort of thing.

— In any case, Arte’s first attempt is a complete failure. In fact, she fails so hard that we don’t even get to see it. Nevertheless, she begs Leo for another chance. And this time, she’ll enlist the help of a prostitute. After all, who else would know more about how to please people?

— Still, this makes me wonder about Arte’s mom. Has she really completely given up on her daughter? Is she not even curious about how Arte’s doing? I guess not. Also, what do widowed noblewomen even do all day if they don’t work?

— I watched the latest movie adaptation of Emma, a Jane Austen’s novel. Now, the 1800s England is a far cry from Italy during the Renaissance, but some things should remain the same right? And as far as I could tell, all British noblewomen seemed to do was attend parties and stir up drama. Alright, I’ve digressed enough.

— When Arte pays Ubertino a second visit, she turns on the charm. She even convinces the old man that he should handsomely compensate for their special skills — special skills that he wouldn’t find at any other workshop due to the fact that Arte is a noble. I guess only nobles would bother to study lace patterns. Shrug.

— So great, Ubertino is willing to pay a little more. He also lets Arte in on a little secret: he doesn’t really care for art at all. He just commissions all these paintings as a way to impress others. He tells the girl that she better get used to working with clients like him once she becomes independent. It’s just like anything else in life. Most people don’t buy fancy stuff because they care about the craft that goes into making them. They do it to impress others. They do it to keep with the Joneses. And hell, the art market nowadays is often used as a front for money laundering.

— Eventually, Arte also learn that Ubertino and Leo’s former master go way back. They proceed to joke about how it’s hard to imagine a guy like Leo having a childhood. So we get a few flashback scenes. Leo was picked on by the other kids, because he actually cared about art. And as a result, his master only bothered to critique his work. As the old adage goes, they only criticize you because they care. The opposite of love is often said to be indifference.

— As a result, we’ve come full circle. After a time skip, we see that Ubertino is happy with the painting. Unfortunately, he’s not happy that Leo continues to skimp on himself. We ultimately learn that when Leo’s former master was in his deathbed, he had asked Ubertino to look after Leo. This explains why the old man continues to be his patron. The idea is that he comes back over to over to yell at Leo because he cares.

— Still, something doesn’t really add up for me. If Ubertino is that worried about Leo, then why does he always try to pay the barest minimum? Is he trying to make Leo choose between Arte and food? ‘Cause that’s not going to happen. I suppose you could argue that no matter how much Ubertino coughs up, Leo is still going to skimp and fast. So the savvy businessman might as well do what a savvy businessman does. You don’t get rich by being generous with your cash.

Ever since the student council has disbanded, Miyuki and Kaguya haven’t talked to each other once. That’s kinda sad. Pride is often a mask for one’s insecurities, and this week’s episode keenly demonstrates how insecure how main characters are.

— Hm, I guess Ai must have taken this picture. She’s like some sort of ninja-maid crossbreed. And sadly, she has no free time. She must apparently spend most of her days stalking Kaguya.

— Anyways, Ai teases Kaguya for making no progress despite all the heartfelt moments the latter has shared with Miyuki. In return, Kaguya dares her maid to try and seduce him. I’m not sure why Ai took the bait. Maybe outta pride? Even if she thinks she can get the job done, doing it one day is kinda setting yourself up for failure. Still, it goes to show you that these two don’t have a traditional master-servant relationship. They’re more like sisters, I guess. And sometimes, sisters like to compete even if Ai has no interest in Miyuki.

— So the next day, Ai not-so-randomly bumps into Miyuki at a bookstore. I’m also not sure why she picks this personality to try and seduce him. Considering how he likes Kaguya, maybe Ai should try to emulate her master a little more.

— Naturally, Kaguya is lurking nearby, and she’s hardly inconspicuous. She’s also honestly shaking with fear. She actually thinks Ai has a shot at pulling this off even though it’s highly improbable that someone like Miyuki would ever date someone he barely knows. It just goes to show you that people’s public personas are often a front. She puts on a confident air around others, but Kaguya’s self-esteem is on par with the average teenager.

— Ai is so dedicated to her job that she would even pretend to sleep for three hours. And somewhat similarly, Miyuki is such a nice guy that he doesn’t leave her side. Apparently, girls are completely defenseless in Tokyo bookstore. Shrug.

— In any case, she eventually goes in for the kill. She even suggests that he can have her as a side piece in case he likes someone else. While some people might find that tempting, I’m not sure that it’s a winning move against someone like Miyuki. There’s no way a guy like him would be interested in two-timing.

— In the end, he simply tells Ai that he likes someone else. That’s pretty much a tacit confession to Kaguya, isn’t it? She should be over the moon to hear this… but I guess she can’t be 100% sure that he’s talking about her. Y’know, insecurities and all that.

— Plus, she’s not being a very gracious winner right now.

— In the second third of the episode, Chika helps Miyuki realize that he needs someone to help endear him to the “pure” students. Apparently, if you don’t attend Shuchi’in from start to finish, you’re considered an outsider. I personally wouldn’t even think about something like that, but people can be kinda elitist about this sort of thing. I’m sure there are very exclusive clubs at some private academies and universities out there. I’ve only ever attended public schools, though.

— Chika wanted to nominate herself as the person to deliver Miyuki’s campaign speech, but the guy quickly hones in on Kaguya. It’s obvious to us that Kaguya is better for the job, but hey, an airhead can only take so many shots before they pop.

— Miyuki wants to ask Kaguya in person, which I get. You’re requesting a big favor, so you shouldn’t do it over email or LINE. But I mean, he still could’ve just asked her to meet up with him over email or LINE. Instead, he goes to her homeroom, and Ai is more than happy to make a scene.

— Pretty soon, all of the students get the wrong idea. I love the girl fanning herself in the background. Oh my, the vapors!

— Eventually, the entire student body gathers for what they hope to be a confession for the ages. Miyuki feels that if he chickens out in front of everyone, he’ll lose the election for sure. It doesn’t help when Chika adds fuel to the fire.

— Sadly, Miyuki manages to squirm his way out of the predicament. He wusses out at the end, and Kaguya even helps him do so. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? She also tells him that she would answer yes to anything he might ask her. Yet again, we get a tacit confession. I guess if you compare this season to the previous season, this is progress. It’s just not satisfying progress. Anything short of a true confession is just a cruel tease.

— In any case, I guess Miyuki needs some sort of “back-against-the-wall” situation in order to confess. Maybe if her family tries to move her away or something, y’know? Let’s say she has to go overseas because that’s a common trope in anime. For example, the main couple in High Score Girl didn’t see each other for years. Coincidentally, the heroine in that series also comes from a very, very rich family, but I digress. My point is that these two frustrating kids will only make a move if something threatens to pull them apart… like how Kaguya begged him to be the student council president again in last week’s episode. So basically, we need an even bigger threat to their relationship.

— In the final third of the episode, Miyuki is the obvious frontrunner for the upcoming election. Unfortunately, he’s just as insecure as Kaguya.

— We are formally introduced to Miko, a first year who just happens to be Miyuki’s biggest competition. He really shouldn’t feel threatened by her because his body of work should speak for itself. Unfortunately, he kinda gets defensive in their first encounter.

— I also don’t really understand why he isn’t campaigning. Even incumbents have to campaign and campaign smartly. Otherwise, anything can happen.

— Oddly enough, Miko wants Chika to be her vice president should she win the competition. Why? Because Chika was really good at playing the piano. Um, how does that qualify one to be a vice president? Right off the bat, I feel like the girl has some questionable decision-making. In any case, Chika is more than happy to switch sides… for now, anyways. As an airhead, she’s as flighty as the wind.

— Right before the credits roll, Yu assures Miyuki that he doesn’t really have anything to worry about. Miko might have her ideals, but her ideals are hardly popular.

— At the same time, however, it would be boring if Miyuki simply crushes the competition. Either Chika somehow helps the underdog make up some major ground (unlikely), or Miyuki shoots himself in the foot to make the election much closer than it needs to be. We’ll just have to wait and see, I guess. You can bet the house, however, that he’s not going to lose. I’m not sure I can really imagine this show without him and Kaguya at the top of the student council.

This week’s episode is all about Maria and Catarina’s attempts to bridge the gap between them. That’s all fine and dandy, but I wish these relationships had some depth to them.

— Case in point, when we see Catarina hang out with Maria, they either just study or talk about banal topics like tea. Maria bakes sweets, and Catarina likes sweets. Sure, that’s something that they have in common, but it’s just so boring.

— Our heroine realizes that Maria keeps her distance outside of the student council room, so she asks Keith for tips. Well, leave it up to the siscon to give a stalkerish solution.

— To nobody’s surprise, Maria is being bullied again. So far, there are only two types of girls in this story: either they are literally in love with Catarina, or they’re just mean and nasty. There’s no inbetween and I hate this kind of binary characterization. Obviously, the “inbetweeners” exist. They’re just invisible to the heroine because they are deemed unimportant. But I dunno, I suppose it makes me uncomfortable when people are either the protagonist’s fans or their enemies. It comes across as slightly narcissistic even if it’s unintentional.

— After all these years of studying magic, this small bump of earth is the best that Catarina can manage. Ah well, some people just have it and some people don’t. Then again, she’s attending a magic academy, right? Is she even qualified to be here?

— Maria’s real impressed with Catarina’s heroics, so she wants to get reeeeeal personal. Calling someone by their first name? And without honorifics? You might as well just propose to them!

— Speaking of girls being literally in love with Catarina, the rest of her haremettes aren’t too shy to express their feelings either. But of course, our heroine is too dense to realize that they’re being honest. After all, most people tend to assume that everyone around them is straight. It’s the same way with Keith. He’s only overprotective when it comes to Geordo or any of the other boys. He shows no concern about Catarina drawing ever so closer to Maria. I guess it’s a loose form of erasure.

— Everyone is getting a day off, so Catarina uses this opportunity to brush up on her green thumb. After all, there are some mighty impressive-looking produce in this universe.

— Our heroine eventually learns that Maria’s home is nearby, so she decides to show up unannounced. I personally hate that sort of thing. If someone rings the doorbell and I’m not expecting company, I literally won’t answer the door. But Catarina won’t have to worry about that. After all, Maria is literally in love with her already.

— At Maria’s home, we get to meet her depressed-looking mother. Oh boy, here comes the super sad backstory.

— When Catarina asks the townsfolk for Maria’s address, she learns that her new friend is rather infamous. Would it surprise you to learn that even the girls in her hometown will spread rumors about her? Oh man, I guess I just find it kinda cynical.

— Basically, no one can believe that a commoner would be able to wield rare light magic. As a result, people assume that Maria must have been the result of her mother’s affair with a nobleman. That explains the depressed-looking mother, I suppose.

— When Catarina gets to Maria’s home, her stomach starts growling. After all, she’s spent all day out in the fields. Maria quickly offers to whip up some cookies. Man, if I’m hungry, I want something substantial. I want a goddamn meal. Sweets aren’t exactly filling.

— In any case, Maria’s backstory is revealed to us. She had a happy family, but it all fell apart once the rumors started. I’m not sure what happened to her father. I assume he just bailed because he thought his wife had cheated on him. Either way, the mother became so wrapped up in her own sadness that she started to neglect Maria. And of course, all of Maria’s classmates either hated or avoided her. Kinda pathetic, huh?

— Well, thanks to Catarina’s earnestness, Maria’s mother finally snaps out of her stupor. She realizes that Maria has found a friend whom she can share her passion (baking) with. More importantly, her daughter has found a friend who can look past the whole light magic dealio. The mother is thus forced to reflect upon her own shortcomings.

— Nevertheless, I find it kinda silly that a broken relationship can fix itself in an instant, but it is what it is. When our heroine departs, we see the mother grip Maria’s shoulder as if to say that everything’s gonna be okay now. Alright, sure.

— Speaking of bad moms, Catarina gets an earful when she gets back. Her mother is not too happy to hear that her daughter is still up to her farming antics at the academy. Of course, I don’t see what the big deal is, but I’m no hoity-toity noble.

— We also have to remember that most people aren’t born evil. The original Catarina didn’t come out of the womb as a brat from the get-go. She was raised to be a brat, and I guess the story wants to blame this solely on her mother. Nevertheless, it’s kinda sad that she also falls victim to the binary characterization of female characters that plagues this story.

Sometimes, you gotta give someone a manly hug before they can become your friend.

— In the cold opening, a girl looking for coins runs into a bunch of monsters instead. She transforms in order to fight back, but considering how she’s surrounded, I doubt things turned out in her favor. Unfortunately, she doesn’t show up again for the rest of the episode, so her fate is left to our imagination.

— After the OP, the story begins in medias res; the kids have already found their first opponent, and he looks pretty strong. I’m not particularly interested in long, extended fights, but I guess it can’t be helped.

— Starting from the beginning, Clair calmly explains to her partner that they can’t go into this blind. In order to gather coins, they first need to gather information, i.e. potential allies, potential opponents, the relative strength of other monsters, where to even start looking for coins, so on and so forth. Like usual, Shuichi will leave most of the decision-making to Clair.

— What does Shuichi bring to the table other than his raw strength? Well, as the tryhard, “I’ll always protect my friends” type of protagonist, he’ll have his morals. This allows him to protect Clair in more ways than one. Obviously, he won’t let her die, but more importantly, he’ll keep her from losing her humanity completely. Shuichi always has to remind her that they need to be the good guys.

— It’s funny to hear Clair go on and on about how they need information, but as soon as Shuichi detects another monster, she blindly rushes in to confront them. Sure, I understand the idea of taking the initiative, but maybe when your potential opponent has huge, hulking blades for arms and you’re just a furry suit, you might wanna reconsider your next move.

— I’m not too thrilled about the kids’ first opponent on these mountains. In a lot of these shows, there’s always a guy who’s a battle freak. He’s completely neutral when it comes to the grand scheme of things; he doesn’t really care about the coins. Instead, he’s just here for a good fight. Darwin’s Game had a character just like this. Gleipnir‘s version is slightly meaner, though. It sounds like he beats up people for the hell of it.

— Seeing the battle freak up close, Clair admits that she might have made a mistake, but Shuichi suddenly charges in and throws a punch. Well, nobody ever said that their teamwork was perfect. These two are gonna have to level up their social link.

— So the fight begins in earnest, but I’m not particularly interested in breaking it down. All we need to know is that our duo can’t compete against their opponent when it comes to raw strength. Even when Clair whips out their revolver and takes aim, the battle freak calmly blocks the shot. All they got out of this was his name. Hm, if only there was a way to keep him pinned down…

— …which is exactly what happens next.

— Their opponent doesn’t really understand why there are two of them (of course he doesn’t), but he realizes that the recoil from a gun this big would probably kill the girl. As a result, the battle freak accepts his defeat. Blah blah blah, they exceeded his expectations in this test of strength. They are willing to put their loves on the line. Yawn

— Nothing peculiar about this angle. Yep, nothing at all.

— Unbeknownst to our trio, someone is peeping on them, and they are particularly interested in Clair. Man, when it comes to these types of shows, the threat of rape is sadly always around the corner.

— Tadanori is all about manliness, and this is why he claims he doesn’t have a phone. I’m not sure what’s unmanly about cell phones, but okay. Despite all his machismo, however, he blushes at the sight of Clair in her underwear. Obviously, I don’t subscribe to some arbitrary code of manliness, but shouldn’t stereotypical macho guys be into half-naked girls?

— The creep finally reveals himself, and I guess his monster form is a goblin. Eh, makes sense. Recent anime prortrayals of goblins have been straight up rapey, and this guy doesn’t hide his intentions.

— What’s funny, however, is how colossally stupid the goblin is. If he’s been watching the trio fight, then why would he openly approach them? This isn’t at all how you blackmail someone. It’s like walking up to a guy holding a gun and demanding all his money. He’d just shoot you. So guess what? Tadanori just casually turns back into his monster form and just cleaves the goblin creep in half. Well, I suppose goblins aren’t known for their intelligence.

— In any case, we know that Tadanori is willing to be an ally. He’s like a simple-minded animal. If you can prove that you’re alpha, he’ll join your pack and take orders. As long as he gets to have his shounen-esque battles, he’s a happy customer. This is all fine and dandy for Clair because Tadanori has no qualms about getting his hands dirty.

— Shuichi has a normal response to the goblin’s death. After all, even a dead creep is kinda disturbing. On the other hand, Clair is doubling over in laughter. Again, I feel like Shuichi is the only person standing between her and her loss of her humanity. Well… she’d be dead without him, but you know what I mean.

— Nevertheless, his low self-esteem gets the better of him again. We quickly learn, however, that Clair was initially supposed to run away. The only reason they got the upper hand against Tadanori was because she’d never abandon Shuichi. Still, he was ready and willing to die for her, so y’know… your typical tryhard, “I’ll always protect my friends” protagonist. Look, I’m not trying to imply that Shuichi shouldn’t be a good person. Obviously not. But protagonists like him are a dime a dozen in anime, and he isn’t particularly bringing anything new to the table. He’s a good guy, but good guys are often boring. The only thing about Shuichi that is somewhat interesting is that he keeps Clair from completely losing it.

— Speaking of Clair, she’s found potential new friends. What’s with the Celty Sturluson wanna be on the right?