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Cross Ange Ep. 12: B-b-bombshell!

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Gasp! But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s start from the beginning…

– Oh hey, very important people have gathered in one place to talk about the story! This is pretty much an anime staple, y’know. But let’s give credit where credit’s due: at least they’re not in some dimly-lit room. We later find out they’re really not in some pristine-looking garden. It’s all a simulation. Hell, maybe this universe itself is just a simulation…

– Yo, this dude’s name is Embryo. Yeah, that’s right… Embryo. You’ll also be pleased to know that he’s supposedly the creator of this world.

– Personally, I’m not going to try too hard to piece together the story from what these characters are saying, because I’m just not worried about it. I’m here to see the crazy nonsense that Cross Ange will throw at us. Nothing more. If you guys want to speculate, then whatever floats your boat. I’m just not going to bother.

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– Embryo rattles off a bunch of options for humanity to take. They all sound pretty farfetched, especially the last one: “Destroy [the world], and reset it.” But hey, after last week, anything’s possible. I mean, this would explain why we saw this in the previous episode.

– “Are you saying we should abandon all the world’s development?” Hmm.

– We see that Tusk has somehow planted a bug in Julio’s office. Our hero seems pretty capable… so it’s hard to believe he’s always clumsily tripping into Ange’s crotch.

– Back on Arzenal, the survivors are trying to pick up the pieces. Thanks to Salia’s insubordination, Hilda is now the interim captain of the squad. Naturally, the rest of the girls are not pleased with this, but at least Jill seems to have a short memory.

– And now that Ange is no longer in detention, it’s storytelling time!

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…and for some reason, we have to get naked. Yeah, I’m with Ange on this one. Still, that’s not the biggest problem on our hands. Y’see, if Jill’s going to explain everything to Ange, that means I’ll have to brace myself for the impending infodump. And an impending infodump implies that a lot of exposition is headed my way. Sure, I’d love to know what Cross Ange is all about. I’m just dying to hear Jill’s explanation. But exposition is boring, man. And this is probably why these two characters are even naked in the first place. Because exposition is so boring, we may as well have them be naked.

– Tired of war, some guy — Jill calls him God — created Mana… and this somehow led to, uh, widespread peace? How does Mana accomplish this? Did the advent of Mana usage also lead to a post-scarcity world?

– Then of course, the Normas came along. They had a mutation that prevented them from utilizing Mana, which, as we all know, “led to fear among the people.” But why? What is remotely worth fearing about such a seemingly benign mutation? Here’s how I would react in that situation: “You can’t use Mana? Oh well. Must suck to have to do everything by hand…” On the other hand, this is apparently how the people in the Cross Ange universe reacts to a Norma: “OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE’S A MONSTETTERRERERRRR!”

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– Our so-called God then spread the absurd belief that the Normas “had rejected the world” and “were antisocial monsters.” From what we’ve seen, however, most Normas are taken away from their parents when they are just children. So if you think that children can reject the world, you have to be as dumb as a brick. Plus, this God sounds like a major dickwad.

– I mean, if you want to say that people want and need to unite against a common enemy, sure. This happens all the time. Politicians have always played on our fears to get us on their side. We may not agree with all of his or her opinions, but bahgawd, we’re tired of those people takin’ our jobs!

– The problem here, however, isn’t Cross Ange‘s message itself. Rather, the problem lies in the way it plays out. It’s just… stupid. Dude tells everyone that a bunch of young girls have rejected the world, and… everyone just believes him.

– Yeah, I’m still with you, Ange:

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– Oh man, this infodumping. Ancient People, Ragna-mails, Jill is really Alektra, which we already knew, and she’s really a member of a royal family… which we already knew as well. Yawn. Trust me, there are better ways they could’ve used to convey this information. Like, y’know, an actual flashback episode and not just Jill sitting in a hot tub, droning on and on about these topics in such a passionless way.

– So the Normas and the Ancient People tried to band together in order to revolt against God and his chosen people, but again, we all know how that turned out. None of this is particularly new information, though. I don’t mind information being withheld until a later date. I just don’t like hearing about stuff that I already know.

– So how ’bout it? Will Ange pick up where Alektra had left off? Well, no. Long story short, Ange will decide her own fate. Yeah, you go, anime protagonist! It’s just too bad she’s been following people’s orders since the first episode, so it’s kind of weird to hear her suddenly act as though she’ll decide her fate.

– Elsewhere… uh, I guess Vivi has taken on the form of a dragon. I guess this is the explosive revelation of the week: Soylent Green is dragons are people, y’all.

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– Naturally, everyone’s trying to hunt Dragon Vivi down, so she takes to the air and starts singing. Somehow, Ange can make some sense of Vivi’s shrill crooning and starts to sing along as well. Aw man, more singing.

El-oh-el…

– And just like that, Vivi turns back into a human girl! Maggy walks up to the girl and injects with I assume to be that Inhibitor that Jill had mentioned earlier.

– Ange, finally realizing what she’s been fighting this entire time, runs towards the mass grave of dragons being set on fire by Jasmine. Of course, it’s too late for the heroine to do anything about it now.

– All of a sudden, the burning dragon corpses quickly turn into…

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…human corpses! DUN DUN DUN!

– Ange thinks back to the dragon that she ruthlessly murdered in a previous episode, and she starts to feel bad. The hamfisted message here is that we only care if we’re killing people. Ange had no qualms about killing dragons before, but now that they’ve taken on a human form, it’s suddenly traumatizing. Otherwise, it’s okay to kill whales dragons if they’re just simply whales dragons.

– After laughing in Ange’s face, Jill walks off and suddenly runs into Embryo… I guess when you’re “God,” you can go wherever you please.

– An announcement then plays, and it claims that the Normas will finally be rescued by a fleet of carriers! But of course, on his way to Arzenal is Julio himself, so expect nothing but more Cross Ange-branded treachery!

– Yeesh, this story…


Filed under: Anime, Cross Ange, Series Tagged: Anime, Cross Ange

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