There’s a saying that goes something like “You know a chef is good if they’re fat.” For all you know, maybe the chef just doesn’t have any self-control. Maybe they just like to cook terrible food like Cheeto-encrusted chicken wings. There’s another similar saying that goes something along the lines of “Never trust a skinny chef.” This might be something that Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi’s heroine will have to defend herself against. After all, her body size is unfortunately a point of contention. But to start from the beginning, Aoi has been whisked away to the Hidden Realm against her wishes by Odanna, an oni. He wants her to become his bride, and she can’t say no. Y’see, Odanna runs an inn where you can run up a hefty bill. For whatever reason, Aoi’s grandfather had the ability to cross over into the Hidden Realm, and one day, he racked up 100 million yen in debt. Unable to repay such an exorbitant amount — what the hell did he do? — he offered up his own granddaughter as collateral. With no way home, Aoi has no choice but to either marry Odanna or repay the debt in some form or fashion. What a poor girl.

And when I call her a poor girl, I’m not exaggerating. Aoi has a gift: she can see ayakashi, which are spirits, ghosts, phantoms, ogres, what have you. Some of them are cute, and some of them are… Slenderman-esque. Sounds like a cool ability, right? But according to Aoi’s backstory, her mother abandoned her specifically because the little girl could see ayakashi. Yeah, I don’t get it either. I hope this gets fleshed out a little better, because right now, that sounds ridiculous. Nevertheless, little Aoi found herself on the brink of death at one point until a friendly ayakashi appeared out of nowhere and offered her some food. God, I hope this doesn’t turn out to be Odanna. What I find particularly troublesome is if the friendly ayakashi is revealed to be her main bishie squeeze, and upon learning this crucial bit of knowledge, our heroine just can’t help but feel a little dokidoki whenever she looks at him. But think about it: she was just a tiny child back then. Don’t tell me that the guy’s been interested in her all this time. Don’t tell me he set an alert on his spiritual calendar app, and as soon as she became a woman, he decided to swoop in for the kill.

Anyways, food is very important in this story, which is not surprising. After all, ceremonial food offerings is a common practice in East Asian culture. Aoi’s grandfather warned her that ayakashi can be potentially dangerous, but you can always appease them with food. As a result, when he eventually adopted her from the orphanage, he told the girl right from the get-go that she had to learn how to cook. Everyone should learn how to cook, but when I look back on the first episode, I get an uneasy feeling. The old man might have seemed benevolent — after all, he adopted Aoi — but he also used his own granddaughter as collateral. So you gotta wonder if he was really all that nice. Honestly, I can’t help but be cynical. I can’t help but wonder if he taught her how to cook so that she could be a good wife one day. A good wife to who, though? Hmmm. Hell, Odanna didn’t exactly steal Aoi away as soon as he could. He sat outside a shrine until she decided to offer up her bento to him. He later claims that he wants her because she tastes good, but had her cooking tasted terrible, maybe he wouldn’t have wanted to marry her. Maybe he’d think she makes a bad wife, so he would’ve just moved onto the next generic anime heroine on his list.

Plus, Aoi’s not the only person against the marriage. Odanna’s staff seem particularly against the idea, especially since our heroine’s just a human girl. Not only that, she’s a skinny human girl. This is an insult that one of the female ayakashi seems particularly fond of. One can’t help but wonder if this lady is perhaps jealous of Aoi’s luck. Of course, this is anime, so I can’t tell at all if Aoi is actually skinnier than average. But even though food might have gotten her into this mess, it might be her only ticket out as well. Aoi swears that she’ll repay her grandfather’s debts, and to do so, she’ll open up an eatery. Yes, she’s going to run a restaurant in the realm of ayakashi. They already like to eat human food in the human world, so surely, they must like human food in their own world! Aoi even manages to become friends with a nine-tail fox by charming him with her rendition of omurice. Naturally, ketchup is in short supply in the land of ghosts and phantoms.

It’s just too bad that Aoi can’t simply lawyer up. I mean, just because her grandfather offered her up as collateral, it doesn’t mean that the girl has to go along with it. It’s not like her grandfather ever owned her, right? Buuuuut I don’t suppose you have basic human rights in the land of ogres and spirits. At the same time, however, Odanna doesn’t have free reign over the girl. Somehow, Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi managed to land itself a 2-cour adaptation. As a result, Aoi will soon find herself with many suitors. Odanna will assuredly be the one who wins her heart. I’d be shocked if he didn’t. But along the way, she’ll bump into plenty of other bishies. Hell, she’s already met one: the nine-tail fox. And I know how this show is going to go. She’s going to meet each and every single one of them, and she’s going to deal with each and every single one of their sob stories. Eventually, however, she’ll always go for the main dude. That’s how these reverse harem shows always go. If it was me, I’d say to hell with all of them. Ideally, she gets out of the stupid contract somehow and returns to her college life. But if she’s gotta pay off her debts, then I guess the restaurant idea isn’t so bad. That’s the only thing that the show has going for it.

Anyways, I haven’t decided if I want to follow this show. Even if I do, I can’t imagine writing a post for it every week. We’ll see how things shake out as the rest of the season unfolds.

In the first episode of Uchuu Senkan Tiramisu, a space mecha pilot with inverted nipples attempts to enjoy a nice, peaceful lunch in the cockpit of his mecha. Unfortunately, things quickly go awry. In the second half of short episode, Subaru had to quickly jump into battle shortly after showering. In the midst of combat, he finds it difficult to breathe. Is his oxygen running low?! No, it’s not! What could it be? Egads, he put his shirt on backwards! One thing leads to another, and Subaru eventually finds himself butt naked in his cockpit. Is this show already a candidate for anime of the season? I think so! Maybe even anime of the year!

I wish I could say the same about Souten no Ken Re-Genesis, but I should’ve known better. After all, this is a sequel to a series that had embarrassingly bad animation. It’s not that 3-D animation is inherently bad, but it’s just almost never executed well. Houseki no Kuni looked good, but here? Everyone looks stiff because they all have such a low number of animation frames. Not only that, you have lazy nonsense like this:

No, that is not a screen tear. That is the result of a character chopping people literally in half with his fearsome moves. The biggest problem with the show, however, is that I just kept nodding off during the story scenes. When people weren’t fighting, I could barely stay awake. This sequel makes no effort whatsoever to catch the viewer up. If you haven’t seen the 2006 series (simply named Souten no Ken), then good fucking luck. Everyone’s after a catalog of books for some reason. A blonde girl is also related to said books for some reason. Most of all, the Germans are after them for some reason. An important character by the name of Guise bites the dust early on, so this sets up an epic clash between the main character and the guy who has to protect the little girl:

It doesn’t look so bad when they’re not moving, huh? Unfortunately, I can’t stop laughing at the fact that soldiers eventually showed up and opened fire on the little girl. I get that this is an adaptation for diehard fans (if they would even like this sort of shoddy animation), but c’mon… when the original aired over ten years ago, you’d think they’d try a little harder to court viewers completely unfamiliar with the backstory. But what’s done is done, and I don’t think I’m gonna bother with another episode of this show.

Bakana! Anyways, I’ve always been told that girls who like horses are crazy. So what about horse girls? Are they extra crazy? But seriously, I simply don’t know how something like Uma Musume – Pretty Derby even comes about. It’s apparently based on a mobile game, but is the game even out yet? It has idols… but anime is already saturated with idol-related nonsense. So it’s a show about idols… who are also horse girls that race in derbies. Talk about pulling double duty. But the most important question is… why? This show might be fun if it poked fun at its own concept, but from what I can tell, the first two episodes play it pretty straight. Straight out of the boonies, our heroine Special Week is a bit of an air-head, but her natural talent for running and plucky attitude quickly turn heads. Predictably enough, she has a senpai in Silence Suzuka to look up to… sorry, I just find myself nodding off for the second time today. The only potentially cool thing about Special Week is that she claims to have two moms… but it’s not really awesome in that sort of way that you’re thinking. She simply had a birth mother and someone who raised her.

P.A. Works isn’t my favorite studio, but they usually put out above average animation. It’s such a pity that they’re wasting their efforts on this super niche concept. I’d gladly take another mediocre Hanasaku Iroha over this and fest it up in the streets. Hell, I’d even take another Glasslip–…. well, maybe not. Point is, this is the first and last time you’ll find me talking about this show. There just isn’t enough plot to keep me interested. Interpret that as you will.

Some choice quotes from the hero of our story: 

• “She always cuts class, she’s gaudy, sleazy, and disliked by the girls.”
• “Cleaning the pool with this girl… Ugh, this is the worst situation on such an unbelievable level.”
• “You think that hanging out and dressing up and gathering up men are all worthwhile, don’t you?”
• “She’s two-timing… She’ll get what she deserves.”
• “Don’t think that you can get your way if you make that face!”
• “…I live because looking down on those who don’t study keeps my spirit in balance.”

Yep, that’s our lovable Hikari for ya! This proud 2D lover comes to school late for the first time ever, so he gets saddled with pool-cleaning duty. Next to him is the infamous Iroha. All the boys want her, but all the girls hate her. Right off the bat, this should set off red flags. Even though Hikari is incredibly nasty and judgmental from start to finish, Iroha can’t help but be nice to him for some inexplicable reason. She can’t help but greet him in the morning, smile at him, etc. She even defends Hikari and his equally dorky friend from a pair of nasty girls.

The next day, our hero eventually spots Iroha being harassed by two different boys. He was content to do nothing until one of them — let’s call him Chad-kun — slaps the girl across the face. All of a sudden, our hero summons up all his courage and tries to defend the girl’s honor. Naturally, he gets beaten up pretty easily, but he does that “I might suck but I’ll never give up!” pose that dorky anime protagonists like to do. It helps the audience identify with him, because c’mon, we know we ain’t beefy Chads. We know we ain’t beating anyone up! Next thing you know, Hikari is on his back with Iroha sitting patiently by his side. It’s like after beating him up, the angry Chad-kun just decided to leave them both alone. Sure. Sure. Naturally, Iroha is very impressed by Hikari’s heroism, so she responds by trying to ask him out in front of their entire class. He thinks this is a joke at his expense, so he shoots her down in a humiliating fashion. Hoo boy.

Later that day, he leaves the hospital and sees her crying on a nearby bench. Gosh, what a coincidence! How do you two keep bumping into each other like this? In any case, the guy decides to pull up his hoodie and stalk her throughout the city. Yeah, that never looks creepy. Finally, when Iroha is accused of shoplifting, our 2D lover is compelled to leap forth from the shadows to defend the girl’s besmirched honor! It then begins to rain, so he offers her his umbrella. Forced to walk home in the cold, Hikari gets a cold. He ends up being late to school again, so the guy gets stuck having to clean the pool again. But hey, wouldja look at that — Iroha is late again too! She then steals a kiss and tells him that she’ll clean the pool by herself. Finally, his otaku heart has been tamed. Hikari marches to the pool and asks Iroha to date him. She agrees… but she’s transferring to another school in just half a year. But even so, they can still have fun until then.

The first problem with this show is that the main character is just so goddamn unlikable. Sure, he’s been bullied. That sucks, and I get how that can warp his perspective. Nevertheless, he’s not just cautious around others; Hikari’s downright nasty. He even admits that he looks down on his classmates. And I’m sorry, but putting himself in harm’s way a couple times is not going to overwrite all his ugly opinions. Sure, over the course of the series, Iroha will change him (and he’ll change her!) into a better, more well-rounded person. But why would I wanna root for someone who is so uncharismatic right from the get-go?

But don’t get me wrong, ’cause I’m not gonna pretend that Iroha is some sweet, innocent girl. It’s telling that she asked him out in front of everyone. If you want to be charitable to the girl, you might assume that she wants to make Hikari look cool in front of their peers. That’s not likely, though. After all, everyone’s just plain mean on this show. If you’re a female character, but you’re not Iroha, then you’re a cruel bitch who likes to pick on people just because they’re into otaku stuff. On the other hand, if you’re a guy, but you’re not Hikari or his best bud Ito, then you’re going to be uber jock Chad-kun. You like to hit girls, beat up dweebs, and hang out in the karate club! Ugh, am I right, fellas?! This show lacks subtlety, and as a result, it’s unlikely that Iroha was trying to do Hikari any favors. Instead, since she only has half a year left here, it’s likely that she just wants to keep people off her back by fooling around with someone harmless like Hikari. I might be wrong about this, but we’ll see.

The show’s second problem is that this is just a bad adaptation. It’s like all they did was lift scenes directly from the source material without any real consideration for how they might flow into each other. Important moments play out straightforwardly. Other than the obligatory shoujo sparkles, don’t expect any sort of unique perspective or angle to frame a scene. Every single thing about the episode’s direction just falls flat. For instance, Chad-kun slaps Iroha across the face and I almost missed it because it’s treated so casually. How can you let such a pivotal scene just flop on the floor like some limp sausage hitting the pavement? Hikari then charges forth to hit the guy with a foam thing, and his attack equally lacks impact. It’s so bad how he just slides in from offscreen and dinks the guy on the arm with his weapon. Really? That’s the best you can do? As a director, you can’t just add a Dutch angle and call it a day. This is some super amateurish work even for Hoods Entertainment. I was hoping to blog one of the season’s many romances from start to finish, but so far, it’s not looking so hot.

The one in Overlord II’s final episode is pretty amusing, and I wish the rest of the series had felt the same. There’s even some Gilgamesh shenanigans right at the very end, but that’s all I’ll say about that. I’d really rather move onto newer and better shows! Um… like these series that simply build upon… older… existing series. Whoops.

Legend of the Galactic Heroes – Die Neue These

I don’t think I can do a weekly post on this anime, because there’s simply no way I can spend any decent amount of time talking about battle strategies. When there’s character development, sure, that’s right up my alley. But when it’s Reinhardt schooling a bunch of chump admirals on the finer art of war, what can I say? Nice spindle formation there, ol’ chap! You got them good! But don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed this opening episode. It just doesn’t exactly play to my blog’s strengths. Sometimes, I’ll click on another blog’s post, and all I’ll get is like a tiny paragraph. If that’s all you have to say, then why even bother? Sure, it’s their blog and they can run it however they want, but I can’t do that. It just feels… wrong. But I digress. And if I may, allow me to nitpick this first episode for just a moment.

I always find it odd how military geniuses like Reinhardt and Yang Wen-li are portrayed. It’s fine for them to be geniuses, but it doesn’t stop there. Not only are they impressive on the battlefield, they’re surrounded by abject idiots. What do I mean? Well, the Free Alliance has decided to attack the Galactic Empire with a three-pronged attack. Not only will they surround Reinhardt’s fleet, they have twice as many ships! Man, our military genius has his work cut out for him! Eh, not so fast. Ignoring his admirals’ advice, Reinhardt charges forth to engage the enemy’s 4th fleet right away. This prevents the 2nd and 6th fleet from being able to maneuver in time and have him surrounded. Not only that, he jams their communications, so the 4th fleet can’t request for backup. Now, why would you opt for a three-pronged attack if your foe can counter you so easily?

Afterwards, we see the vice admiral of the 6th fleet leisurely enjoying his meal when his lieutenant commander suddenly shows up to urgently warn him about the precarious state of the battle. The former thinks the 4th fleet is still engaged in battle with the Galactic Empire. His subordinate, however, believes that their allies have already been defeated. As a result, they must join up with the 2nd fleet before they are picked off one-by-one! But before these two can even settle their debate, Reinhardt has already flanked them for a pre-emptive attack. How can these chucklefucks be so blind? It’s not like you can’t see a giant mass of ships coming your way. How can you miss tens of thousands of giant ass spaceships? Again, the problem isn’t that Reinhardt’s too smart. The problem is that his foes are too dumb… until Yang Wen-li shows up! Anyways, the first episode ends here.

This opening episode has great animation and a pretty decent soundtrack. Not only that, I can never really be unhappy with a show about adults doing adult stuff when you consider how anime is just saturated with juvenile nonsense. But if I have to be honest, there are just some nitpicks that are a little hard to swallow.

Tokyo Ghoul:re

I enjoyed the first anime adaptation, but only because it had a heavy dose of Rize. Every time she appeared, she imbued the story with a decent amount of psychological depth. I especially loved the final episode of the original Tokyo Ghoul. Then Tokyo Ghoul √A happened. All of a sudden, the show devolved into shounen schlock except it had that cringeworthy edginess to it. Or maybe Tokyo Ghoul was always shounen schlock, and I had just been fooled by the Rize dream sequences. Either way, it doesn’t look like Tokyo Ghoul:re is going to give me what I crave.

The first episode doesn’t feel as stupendously mind-numbing as what I got from the early goings of Tokyo Ghoul √A, but it isn’t particularly interesting either. For some reason, Ken is now calling himself Sasaki Haise. Not only that, he currently works for CCG, the guys who hunt ghouls. He serves as the mentor for the Quinx Squad, a team of investigators who all appear to have ghoul-like powers of their own. Hm. Eh, whatever. I never finished Tokyo Ghoul √A myself, but I heard that the series ended with Ken standing before a badass CCG dude. I can only imagine that he lost and somehow got his memories erased. Whatever the truth happens to be, I don’t find the prospect of him slowly regaining his memories and returning to his ol’ Anteiku buddies (remember Touka?!) all that compelling.

I was, however, slightly amused by the homage to The Silence of the Lambs in this opening episode. Torso, a rather notorious ghoul, has been on the prowl, and he only targets women. True to his namesake, he likes to steal their torsos. If you don’t recall, the serial killer in The Silence of the Lambs liked to skin his female victims. Unable to track the ghoul down, Ke-… I mean, Haise goes to visit a deranged doctor slash ghoul. First, the doctor scares Haise’s partner by threatening to eat the kid, then they go about psychologically profiling Torso. But yeah, other than this short scene, Tokyo Ghoul:re’s first episode doesn’t do much for me.

Gundam Build Divers

Right off the bat, I know this show isn’t for me. Why? Well…

Homework? We talkin’ about homework? Just do it right before class starts! Anyways, I’d totally play a mecha-themed MMO. The idea sounds a whole lot more fun than actually watching this anime. After all, it feels like I’m watching one long, extended ad for Gunpla nonsense, because that’s what it is. Our hero goes up against a smurfing jackass, but manages to prevail because his Gunpla hasn’t given up. Groan. I know, I know, this is a show for kids.

Anyways, it’s just too bad that Japan is so big on mobile gaming, and as a result, a big budget mecha-themed MMO from a Japanese developer is unlikely to come to fruition. Of course, Final Fantasy XIV is the big exception. Bandai Namco apparently made a free-to-play Gundam MMO, but that’s exactly what I mean. F2P MMOs are terrible.

That about wraps it up for tonight. I couldn’t even get around to Lupin III. There’s just not enough time in a day to bother watching every single thing that comes out.

Oh right, the last episode airs today… but it never really ends, does it? Sigh, you’ll see what I mean. For now, let’s start from the top.

— Last week’s Mission Impossible isn’t quite over yet. The enemy leader manages to pull himself back up, so he continues taking shots at both Violet and Dietfried. Our girl steadfastly defends Gilbert’s brother with her arms and ends up losing one of them in the process. Eventually, the bad guy tries to jump off the train, but Violet prevents him from doing so. Sorry, but I don’t really understand what happens here. How do we go from this… to this?

— Ah, whatever. Violet’s precious brooch goes flying from the bad guy’s grip, so she tries to reach out for it. It somehow finds its way into Dietfried’s hands, but he gives it back to the girl. This means he no longer hates her. Cool, I guess.

— But they’re not out of the woods just yet! The bad guy reveals that he and his boys still have one last trick up their sleeve: bombs have been planted on an upcoming bridge! Okay, what are you doing? No, seriously, what are you doing? The bad guy calls Violet and Dietfried naive, but here he is, telling them all about the bombs. If he had just shut his damn mouth, our heroes wouldn’t have even known that the bridge had been rigged to blow up. Not only that, why did the anti-peace faction even bother infiltrating the train in the first place if they already had bombs in place to derail the train?!

— Naturally, the train won’t stop in time. Of course it fucking won’t. That means Violet will have to leap off a moving train, race to one of the bombs, and try and pry it off before it blows up.

— But what about the other bomb?! Benedict finally gets to be useful. He also jumps off a moving train, jump-kicks the other bomb off the bridge, then manages to cling to the bridge at the very end. Amazing! And by amazing, I mean nice shoes, bro.

— Meanwhile, poor Violet-chan is trying to yank the other bomb off with her one remaining arm. First, her some of her fingers get torn off, but the girl gets right back to it! Eventually, her last arm goes flying off as well, but she manages to pry the bomb loose! She gets it done in just the nick of time! The bomb goes boom in midair because… well, because we just couldn’t end this scene without an explosion, I guess. Benedict also saves her in the nick of time.

— Oh yeah, the bad guy decided to commit suicide at some point. Shrug. Who even cares about him anymore?

— The next day, we see Cattleya and the special envoy at the peace talks. The war is officially over as all sides agree to the treaty. Not only that, Leidensuperlongname will even commit to aiding in the north’s recovery. All this thanks to Violet! If the special envoy hadn’t made it to this summit, these wonderful things would’ve been tabled completely! Can you believe that!

— Also, how ridiculous is it that Cattleya is still dressed like that during some super important meeting between several heads of state? Like c’mon, she doesn’t have any sort of formal wear?

— Outside, people are throwing a celebration with confetti and everything because we finally, finally have peace. I guess the anti-peace faction is no more.

— But I mean, why couldn’t they have just flown the special envoy via air? Wouldn’t that have been faster? Didn’t a postman literally just fly through a warzone without issues? Didn’t a postman literally just deliver Violet to her destination also without any issues? Even if this special envoy had died, couldn’t some pilot have “airmailed” another representative overnight?

— Plus, if you’re going to set it up so that Violet is the superhero who saves the day, then why not go all the way and shower the girl with commendations? She literally gets nothing for all her efforts. You’d think the girl would get medals or some shit, but nah. She just gets another set of arms.

— Anyways, some air show is fast approaching, Cattleya encourages Violet to participate. You can do so by submitting a letter, but the girl confesses that she has yet to write a letter for herself. Clearly, her letter would be addressed to Gilbert, but the girl suddenly finds it difficult to find the right words. She can transfer other people’s feelings to paper, but not her own. She still has a mental hurdle left to overcome.

— She thinks back to that night before the final battle. She wanted to know why Gilbert didn’t want to issue orders to her anymore. We finally get to see the rest of the conversation. It turned out Gilbert got really incensed by the girl’s refusal to live on her own without orders. He raised his voice and wondered if she really thought that he saw her as nothing more than a tool. He then told her to stop lying about her emotions, because he could clearly see that she had them. Eh, I can’t really blame either of them here. On the one hand, you have a little girl who had been forced to serve as a child soldier. Taking orders was all she ever knew, and at the time, she mentally could not process her own feelings. On the other hand, Gilbert was frustrated and the stress of war didn’t help. He only wanted the best for the girl.

— The next day, Violet tells both Cattleya and Claudia that she couldn’t write her letter. All of a sudden, she gets a visitor: a Bougainvillea has come looking for her. The girl rushes downstairs and clutches her brooch, because she still clings onto the hope that Gilbert is alive. Of course, it’s just Dietfried.

— Dietfried ends up taking the girl to see this frail, old woman. It’s none other than Dietfried and Gilbert’s mother. The woman wanted to see the child that Gilbert had wanted his family to adopt. She then tells Violet that she doesn’t blame our heroine for her son’s fate. At the same time, however, she won’t give up hope that her son is still alive out there somewhere. What’s up with that? Over and over again, this episode seems to hint at the idea that Gilbert might still be alive. Please don’t go there. Anyways, Violet can’t help but cry as she understands that she still loves Gilbert too. Likewise, the man will live on in her heart even if she never meets him again.

— Outside the Bougainvillea mansion, Violet prepares to leave when Dietfried tries to do her a favor. He orders her to live for his brother and eventually die from old age. So again, if you haven’t already realized it, Dietfried no longer hates the girl. As a character, however, Dietfried never endeared himself to the audience, so I find it really hard to care either way about his latest breakthrough. Anyways, the girl impresses him when she tells him that she no longer needs orders. That night, she manages to write and finish her letter to her major.

— We next see Violet hanging out with Erica and Iris at the air show. Luculia even shows up for good measure. She informs everyone that she finally managed to write a letter to her late parents. Meanwhile, Iris reveals that she wrote to her future self. She still intends on becoming the most popular doll in Leiden, but with Violet next to her, good luck with that. As for Erica, the girl who had all but disappeared completely from the story since the second episode, she tells us out of nowhere that she’s in love…

— … and it’s with Benedict. What?

— Cattleya had already told us that she was going to write a letter to soldiers she had met during her time as a showgirl. She then pulls out a piece of a paper, which supposedly contains one of Claudia’s many drafts. The guy had written some sappy thing to his future daughter. It’s a bit cruel to read his private thoughts out loud to everyone, isn’t it?

— A plane then flies overhead and dumps a ton of letters into the air. The idea here is that you’re sending your feelings to the person you hold dear in your heart no matter where they are, but the metaphor feels overwrought. I mean, we even see those letters sparkle as they float through the sky. We get it, KyoAni. We get the Symbolism^TM.

— We then see Violet depart on a trip. As she reads her letter to her major out loud to the audience, we see her visit many of the locations from throughout the series. We also get more close-ups of the girl’s face as she cries for like the umpteenth time in this episode. Yes, it’s very sad. Very, very sad. But her words feel kinda redundant. She understands his feelings now, she understands her feelings now, she appreciates life now, she’ll always believe that he’s still alive, and last but not least, she loves him. If all those letters floating in the air felt overwrought, this epilogue completely blows them out the window. Throughout this horribly tortured sequence, we see a solitary letter fly through the air. It’s Violet’s feelings, y’all! Violet’s feelings are trying to make their way to Gilbert! When she finally finishes reading her letter to us, we eventually see the letter nestled softly in a field of flowers. Her feelings have finally made it! Then we watch as a drop of water fall through the air in slow motion. Around it, the heavens are literally turning! We go back to the drop of water, and in it, there’s a glimmer of fire, representing a spark of life! The drop of water finally lands on a violet, and as the flower undulates with life and vibrancy from the touch of the water, the night sky suddenly brightens up to show that a new day has come! Violet has learned to live!!@!!

…

Dude… who the hell directed this? it’s like some fucking high school art project with all the Symbolism^TM it throws at you.

— Finally, we see that Violet has returned home. She’s in the middle of writing a letter when Claudia tells her that she must depart urgently to meet a client. When the girl arrives at her destination, her eyes light up… but we don’t get to see who she sees. The episode — and the rest of the series — comes to and end as KyoAni informs us that a new project has been greenlit:

I’m going to laugh so hard if it turns out Gilbert is still alive.

I’m just… I’m out of words to say about this anime. I won’t ignore all of the good things it’s done, but I can’t deny all of its pitfalls either. Some of you will think that I’m being too harsh, and others will say that I’m being too lenient. Either way, I’m tired.

Final grade: B-

I’m digging it. So far, the anime strikes the exact sort of tone that I was hoping for. The art direction is actually pretty fun and interesting to look at. It’s just too bad that the picture quality almost looks too low-res. Backgrounds can look a little too blurry at times. Anyways, what’s megalo boxing, you ask? Well, in this alternate universe, man has taken the combat sport of boxing even further with the assistance of technology. Upon entering the ring, every fighter dons their Gear, a sort of mechanical exoskeleton for their upper torso that allows them to throw their punches with even deadlier force. Of course, referees will scan your equipment beforehand to make sure that everything that enters the ring is totally kosher. Nevertheless, it would appear at first glance that technology has only served to exacerbate the differences between the haves and the have-nots.

One of the many reasons why we’re so enthralled by sporting competitions is because we like to put our faith in hard work and perseverance. Look, it’s just a fact of life that some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouths. It’s not fair, but life ain’t fair. In sports, however, we like to think that the playing field has been leveled. We like to think that anyone can make it to the top with enough smarts, work ethic, and grit. Even Lebron James, an athletic freak in his own right, didn’t start winning championships until he joined a superteam. You need to actually earn your victories. Well, megalo boxing kinda ruins that dream, doesn’t it? Some guys can just afford better equipment, and as a result, they have a distinct advantage. Pure skill isn’t enough… or is it?

Our hero goes by Junk Dog, his ring name. Does he have a real name? Probably, but he’s not divulging it anytime soon. ‘Cause why bother? In this dog-eat-dog world, you have the haves and have-nots. Our boy Junk Dog is definitely one of the have-nots, which means he doesn’t even have the privilege of calling himself a citizen. As a result, he ekes out a meager existence as an underground megalo boxer. He doesn’t have the best equipment by any means, but he more than makes up for it with his natural instinct for the sport. In fact, he’s too good. And when so much money is on the line, you know shady, underhanded stuff will be carried out behind closed doors. Neither Junk Dog nor his promoter can earn enough money just by fighting honorably. Our hero hates it, but sometimes, he has to throw matches.

Still, a person’s pride can only take so many hits. Junk Dog’s promoter thinks his boy will never quit because this is easy money, but it sure doesn’t look very easy from here. After yet another humiliating “defeat,” Junk Dog takes out his frustration by going on a dangerous joy ride. We now know why he had wrecked his bike at the start of the episode. Our hero is currently trapped in a self-destructive cycle. To make money, he throws matches. To quell his anger, he rides his bike recklessly. Rinse and repeat. How much longer can he live like this? Does he want to be a worm for the rest of his life? Or will he at least try to fight back against this brutish existence? Well, everything changed when he nearly runs over Yukiko, the CEO of the powerful Shirato Group.

Following in her grandfather’s footsteps, Yukiko wants to turn the bloody, sadistic sport of megalo boxing into something legitimate. As a result, she’s gone and organized Megalonia, a massive tournament to crown a world champion. She’s even constructing a massive stadium to make a worldwide spectacle out of it. But of course, Yukiko intends for her guy to win. Fighting under her company’s name is none other than Yuri, a megalo boxing champion himself. Well, when Junk Dog nearly runs into the woman, she tries to reimburse him for the crash. Thanks to his pride, however, he rejects her offering. Instead, he insults Megalonia, calling it nothing more than a brawl. This rankles Yuri, so we get our first hype moment of the story. Two men staring each other down in the rain. The tension is so high strung that the raindrops freeze in midair as the thumping soundtrack slowly reaches a crescendo. Unfortunately, Yukiko calls Yuri back.

But the next day, just when Junk Dog is asked by his promoter to throw yet another match, he sees a familiar face enter the ring. Yuri also comes equipped with the best that technology has to offer. Whereas Junk Dog’s Gear is stiff and industrial-like in appearance, his opponent’s gear is sleek and futuristic. It’s the haves versus the have-nots. And usually, the haves will come out on top. Nevertheless, this is Junk Dog’s perfect chance to stand up for himself. Even if Junk Dog loses — and he more than likely will — he’ll still turn heads if he can put up a respectable performance especially when you consider the huge disparity between their Gear. No more throwing matches. No more acting. No more humiliation. If he’s not going to take his life serious now, then when will he? Besides, there’s no turning back. He lost that chance when he insulted Yukiko the night before. This is a one-way road.

Here comes yet another romance anime that feels all too familiar. So far, it’s nothing special, but if I have to grade on a curve, I gotta admit that I enjoyed this first episode a hell of a lot more than what I got from 3D Kanojo Real Girl. That’s not saying much, though. Still, let’s introduce our power couple. First up, our boy Mitsuyoshi doesn’t really have much of a personality… yet. All that we know about him for now is that he likes photography but dislikes going on airplanes. Still, a lack of a distinctive personality is still better than having an asshole personality… maybe. Plus, Mitsuyoshi is necessarily lowkey and grounded in order to contrast his co-star Teresa, the the love interest.

Speaking of which, our heroine is so beautiful that people just can’t help but stare at her, but at the same time, she’s a bit too quirky for my tastes. She’s cheerful but a bit empty-headed. She’s got personality, but I find her obsession with some samurai-themed TV show a touch too unbelievable for my tastes. Hell, Teresa claims that she learned Japanese just from watching the show alone (no way!). More than anything, the show feels like a retread, especially when Teresa ends up transferring into Mitsuyoshi’s class by the end of the episode. Like c’mon, that’s the oldest trope in the goddamn anime book. What’s next? You’re gonna make her a princes–… sigh…

Misc. notes & observations:

— Mitsuyoshi first bumps into Teresa when he tries to take pictures of cherry blossoms, but the girl kept getting in the way.

— She eventually asks him to take a picture of her with her camera, but he acted as though he couldn’t understand her. I’m instantly reminded of this comedy sketch.

— I’ve never ever seen a cat with a tuft of hair on its forehead.

— It turns out Teresa’s camera is out of battery, and she thought the flashing battery icon meant that the device had full power. She’s a bit of an airhead, isn’t she?

— Mitsuyoshi suggests that he put her memory card into his camera, snap a shot of her, then give her the memory card back. The girl then quickly departs without said memory card. Yep, she’s an airhead. Nice… but dumb.

— Afterwards, the guy bumps into the girl again. She sees a sluice gate which reminds her of a secret passage way that the Rainbow Samurai had used on a TV show, so she tries to climb over the railing and into the water… man, she’s so dumb.

— Cute cat. Better than the one in the OP, anyway.

— Again, the guy bumps into her. It has begun to rain, but the girl did not come prepared with an umbrella. D-… nah, I’m not gonna beat a dead horse.

— So Mitsuyoshi invites the girl back to his grandfather’s coffee shop. His act of generosity reminds her of the Rainbow Samurai yet again. This girl is too unbelievable. It feels like she’s yet another manic pixie dream girl.

— Of course, the main character has an imouto.

— At the coffee shop, everyone is captivated by the girl’s beauty. Even the cat’s impressed.

— The girl initially introduces herself as “Teresa Du-,” but she quickly cuts herself off. We’re going with Teresa Wagner for now. Odd, but I guess this is a future plot point. She’s probably hiding her last name, because she comes from a super important family. But in this day and age, her family can only be important if she’s like… royalty or something. Aw man, don’t tell me she’s a goddamn European princess.

— When the girl goes upstairs to change out of her wet clothes, she notices an altar. It appears that our hero’s parents have died. Hm.

— I really do appreciate all the minor details littered throughout these scenes. The animation is not technically impressive or anything, but the backgrounds are jam-packed with knick-knacks (like this cat-shaped chore chart). It gives the show much needed personality. Likewise, the show’s characters are far from original, but they do bring a lot of energy and thus charm to the story. Basically, the premise feels overused and tired, but Doga Kobo’s execution is preventing the anime from feeling completely forgettable.

— Eventually, the classic dim-witted best friend shows up. Kaoru is just here for comic relief and to make Mitsuyoshi look good.

— Hm, the cat even has a blog.

— Finally, Teresa’s friend shows up. Alexandra, or Alec for short, takes one look at the room and immediately attacks Kaoru. Odd. She’s acting like a bodyguard… yep, Teresa’s a goddamn princess, huh?

— Hm, the dent in the wall is now gone.

— Again, I’m paying more attention to the knick-knacks in the background than the characters. Hell, these jars of coffee beans even remind me of Persona 5’s Leblanc. Sometimes, however, there’s too much detail.

— For some odd reason, the subs keep referring to Luxembourg as “Larsenburg.”

— So everyone teases Mitsuyoshi for the fact that he doesn’t like airplanes. Of course, I can’t help but wonder if his parents died in a plane crash. More problematically, however, is the fact that the show’s title translates to “Tada Never Falls In Love.” Considering how the main character feels a bit uptight, and factoring in the potential tearjerking drama of his parents’ cause of death, it really does feel as though Teresa’s job is to coax Mitsuyoshi out of his shell. In other words, she’s the manic pixie dream girl who exists only to teach the guy how to live and appreciate life. We’ll see how the rest of the series unfold, but so far, the premise feels extremely tired. The show will really have to lean heavily on its execution now.

— Afterwards, Teresa and Alec finally get the chance to talk by themselves. As if we hadn’t already guessed, the latter says, “Please get your act together. Someday, you’ll be…” We don’t get to hear the rest of her sentence because a truck suddenly drives by, but c’mon, there’s really no point in beating around the bush anymore. At this point, the story wants us to know the truth about Teresa.

— Mitsuyoshi bumps into the girl again. God, why don’t you guys just get married already?

— Even their map has to be quirky.

— For the time being, Teresa will be staying at the Grand Palace Ginza… which is right next to the coffee shop. So essentially, she and Mitsuyoshi are neighbors. Well, at least they’re not childhood friends… yet.

— Yeah, I doubt that.

— Speaking of childhood friends, however, this girl might be one. We’ll find out more about her in next week’s episode, I imagine.

— And of course, Teresa ends up transferring into Mitsuyoshi’s class. I mean, what European royalty wouldn’t send their precious daughter to some generic-ass Japanese high school?

I couldn’t quite finish these two unappetizing shows yesterday, so you’re getting them now.

Dances with the Dragons Ep. 1: Not quite a dance with dragons

“Using the Event Induction Computer, humanity, for the first time, succeeds in creating a space-time bubble. The law of conservation of energy is broken within the space-time bubble by changing the fundamental laws of physics, including the Planck constant, resulting in the emergence of matter derived from quantum field instructions. The hyper-physical phenomenon that allows matter to extract matter from vacuum fluctuations at will forms the basis of the system of technology that would soon come to be known as Jushiki.”

Despite all that pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo, it all just boils down to two pretty boys, Gayus and Gigina, fighting man-eating dragons. Our heroes are essentially armed with magic — they call themselves “Offensive Jushikiists” — but the story insists that the spells they cast have a scientific basis. Sure, whatever floats your boat. To the layperson, quantum mechanics may as well be magic, but let’s move on. Gayus and Gigina have an odd couple dynamic between them. The former plays the straight man whereas the latter is steeped in rituals and lusts for battle. ‘Cause y’see, he’s a descendant of Drakan, a race that loves to fight and–… eh. I’m putting myself to sleep just trying to keep all the details straight.

These two don’t appear to make a lot of money despite being good at what they do. Early in the episode, they manage to take down a Semi-Altar, which is supposedly an impressive feat, but I don’t have enough information to understand why this is the case. Nevertheless, Gayus and Gigina do not get paid for their work… again, for reasons that I cannot particularly follow. Their boss just screams that public funds don’t come for free, and furthermore, they need to be taught what it means to be upright human beings… what? But despite their cashflow issues, Gigina likes to spend a lot of money that they do not have. This obviously drives his partner up the wall, but Gigina acts as if he’s clueless? I thought that perhaps these two have some sort of love-hate relationship going on between the two of them, but color me shocked when Gayus goes and pays his girlfriend a visit. An anime character is actually in a committed relationship. Shocking, I know. I just hope she doesn’t end up in some fridge.

Beyond that, there’s a serial killer going around the city and targeting Jushikiists for unknown reasons. Then we see important members of some government discuss international politics in a world completely unfamiliar to us. There are hard-liners and moderates, but about what? I don’t really know. And despite all the pseudo-scientific nonsense at the start of the episode, religion has an overwhelming presence in the story. There are cardinals and elders, churches and emperors. It feels as though society has devolved. I’d ask why, but I’d just be told to read the light novels. But y’know what? Everything I’ve written is secondary to the fact that Dances with the Dragons’ first episode is not remotely compelling. In fact, it’s a huge narrative mess.

Comic Girls Ep. 1: I can’t believe manga artists can be this cute

Anyways, we go from one show with too many details to follow to a show with barely any. In Comic Girls, two girls move into a dormitory for female manga artists still in high school (how oddly specific). Kaoruko can’t draw sexy female characters, and Koyume can’t draw boys. The former is a crybaby, and the latter likes sweets far too much (but that’s not necessarily a character flaw). Because these two still have a lot to learn before their manga can become serialized, their editors hope that living side-by-side with actual professionals will put Kaoruko and Koyume on the right path. Two established veterans will lead the way (even though they’re also still in high school). The tomboyish Tsubasa focuses on shounen manga whereas Ruki plies her trade in the world of ecchi. Not surprisingly, Koyume develops a crush on Tsubasa. Anyways, Kaoruko is kind of annoying, and the show definitely prefers to lean more on light-hearted hijinks than actually giving us a good reason to care about any of these girls. There’s plenty of plot, but there’s barely any story. You’ll definitely need to turn your brain off for this one.

Well, that’s that. Hopefully, I’ll have enough energy left after work to stomach Friday’s slate of anime.

Theo finally returns to his roots in hopes of liberating his homeland, but he and Siluca seem ill-prepared for the resistance they’re about to encounter. 

— To be honest, I’m a little shocked that Theo didn’t bring any troops with him. Granted, it would’ve been difficult to quietly return home with an army in tow, but he’s trying to liberate his people. You sort of need numbers for that.

— Still, we finally get to see some old faces. I had almost forgotten that these characters existed.

— We are also reminded that demons still exist in this world. These spiders only make a very brief appearance, though.

— So what’s Siluca’s grand plan? Theo will go to the largest city in Sistina (I think) and boldly announce his intentions to depose Rossini. Naturally, the big, bad baddie will most assuredly send his armies after Theo in response, but our heroes are confident in their abilities to elude capture. How? Shrug. They do have a ninja on their side. Siluca is more interested in having news of Theo’s arrival spread like wildfire. It sounds foolish to me, but hey, what do I know?

— Siluca also hopes that the peasantry will rise up and help Theo overthrow Rossini. Now this is a little more difficult to swallow. Rossini presumably has well-trained and well-equipped soldiers in his corner. Do you really think that the impoverished and downtrodden peasantry, armed with nothing more than farming equipment and the ragged pieces of cloth on their backs, can really mount much of a resistance? I understand having the people on your side, but you kinda also need an army. But I’m not a lord, so again, what do I know?

— Oh hey, another familiar face! Remember her? She was that black witch they fought against in that strange episode about vampires and werewolves! Naturally, she’s aligned with the Rossinis as well.

— I never knew one spilled glass of wine could make such a mess.

— After announcing his arrival, Theo quickly high-tails it out of a restaurant. Why? ‘Cause the Rossinis have the special ability to make people disregard any sort of human decency. Amazing.

— The patriarch later allows Salvador, one of his sons, to hunt Theo down, but that’s just signing the kid’s death certificate. You just know that he’ll die to Theo, and this will make Rossini super duper mad.

— Hm, these two things don’t seem to go hand-in-hand.

— Theo and Siluca quickly discover that the peasantry aren’t exactly thrilled to join their cause. After all, they’re scared. They’re farmers, not warriors. Most of all, they’ve known nothing but cruelty at the hands of the Rossini. So when some upstart young lord shows up on their island without an army, of course they’re not leaping at the chance to join a rebellion! If the rebellion fails, who’s going to suffer even more? The peasantry, of course. Seriously, what did Siluca think was going to happen?

— Elsewhere, Salvador stands before a tiny army. He thinks he only needs 200 men to capture Theo. Ah, so that’s how this is gonna go… the bad guys’ arrogance will lead the peasantry to believe that they do have a chance to win.

— For some reason, the show’s creators deem it necessary for me to see Rossini’s son grab the black witch’s ass.

— Anyways, Siluca suggests that perhaps they should try to appeal to Theo’s village. Our hero’s mood suddenly turns dark, and this fools me into thinking that we’re going to get a good backstory… but not really. You’ll see in a bit.

— Right before Theo and his friends reach his village, we bump into this girl marveling over a fancy piece of jewelry. Obviously, she got it from the bad guys. What would a simple country girl be doing with something so expensive? Looks like someone’s about to sell Theo out.

— We get a flashback in which the girl — her name’s Rebecca — had implored Theo not to leave the island. Apparently, the village did his father something dirty. On the other hand, this girl was clearly his childhood friend and maybe even his first love.

— Predictably enough, Theo’s village isn’t very enthusiastic about going to war against the Rossinis either. Off to the side, Rebecca fills Siluca in on Theo’s father’s tragic death. The old man had built a secret grain storage to help feed the village, but someone sold him out anyways.

— And now, Rebecca’s going to sell Theo out. She asks him to go visit his father’s grave, which is obviously a trap. Theo knows it too, so he tells his team that he’ll go by himself. But why? Does he intend to die? I don’t get it.

— Rebecca seems to resent Theo for the fact that he left. But by everyone’s admission, Sistina is a shithole unless you’re part of the 1%. So if she cared so much about him, why would she want him to stay? Her feelings aren’t uncommon, though. I get the impression that this sort of crab mentality exists throughout many small, dying communities. Everyone thinks it’s some sort of betrayal to leave and find success elsewhere.

— Theo had already guessed Rebecca’s intentions, but he’s such a saint that he holds her no ill will. He even tells her to return to the village and warn them to escape. After all, even if the Rossinis manage to capture him, they’ll probably still retaliate against the village. See, I initially thought Theo had left Siluca behind so that his mage could try once more to convince the village to pick up arms. But no, he wanted them to run away, so he clearly intended to fight against an army by himself. Not only that, Theo has no clue how many troops he’s up against. We know that the bad guys only number 200, but Theo doesn’t know that. So what is this foolhardy plan of his? Why has he come all this way just to risk it all?

— Theo eventually finds himself staring down a barrage of arrows. I thought that maybe the guy had been training real hard lately, and we’d finally see him take on an entire army by himself. After all, the start of the series claimed that those who wield Crests could take on hundreds of men by themselves. But not Theo. Hell, I’m not so sure he would’ve survived this encounter on his own.

— Luckily for him, however, Siluca had sent Irvin up ahead to protect him. God, this guy is so fucking lucky he has Siluca on his side. She should be the hero of the story.

— Anyways, Rebecca doesn’t tell the villagers to run. Instead, she convinces them to help Theo. As a result, we see a ragtag group of peasants come marching over a hill with pans and soup ladles as weapons. Man oh man… this is supposed to be inspiring, but I’m just incredulous. Not only that, Theo’s victories often rely on nothing but luck. What if his village had not shown up? Then what? Does he even have a Plan B?

— Man, not only did Theo not bring an army with him, he didn’t even bring his sword! He’s going into battle with an incredibly short-ranged axe!

— In the end, however, the axe snaps Salvador’s sword in half, so he tries to run away. Somehow — just somehow — Rebecca is not fighting with the rest of the peasants in the back. Instead, she comes out of nowhere and grabs onto Salvador, thereby preventing the evil bastard from making his escape. The guy retaliates by pulling out a dagger and stabbing the girl. This enrages Theo, so he catches up to Salvador and lands the killing blow.

— But the damage is done. Rebecca apologizes in Theo’s arms then quickly passes away. Priscilla doesn’t even get the chance to try and heal the girl’s wounds. Whatever love Rebecca might have had for Theo, it was never meant to be. She’s a side character who merely serves as one of the hero’s stepping stones towards greatness. This happens all the time in these stories. Girls are sacrificed merely to steel the protagonist’s resolve.

— Siluca even adds that the battle may as well have been lost had Salvador managed to escape, but why? Not only would they have repelled an army — albeit a small one — they also managed to sway Theo’s village to join their cause. I’m not at all convinced that Rebecca had to die. Rather, it feels like the story wanted a tragedy for tragedy’s sake, so we had to kill her off.

— Anyways, next week’s episode is titled “The Liberator of Sistina,” so the anime might return to its breakneck speed. We’ll see, though.

Here’s a pair of Friday shows that I probably won’t devote a post to every single week. 

Mahou Shoujo Site Ep. 1: Misanthropic nonsense

Boy, Aya has it rough. When she gets to school, she finds her shoes stuffed to the brim with thumbtacks and razors. When she gets to her desk, she finds it covered from top to bottom in some sort of condiment (mustard?). When she gets to leave the school, she instead finds a shoe on her neck. When she finally gets to go home, she is bullied even harder by her older bother Kaname. Where are the adults, you ask? Well, take a look at her teacher. Obviously, he’s too tired to even give a fuck. As for her parents, the dad is some sort of psycho who expects the world of Kaname. As a result, she’s practically invisible to him. The mother is, well, oblivious. So is there any bright spot in Aya’s life? Technically, no. She likes to visit and feed a stray kitten living under a bridge, but you know perfectly why that poor animal is even in this story. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that the cat is only in this episode so that it may die.

One night, Aya’s laptop magically comes to life, and a strange, creepy girl decides to grant Aya magical powers. Basically, she gets a toy gun. Unfortunately, the girl finds out the next day that the bullies have killed her cat. Not only that, they try to have an upperclassman rape Aya. With nowhere to run, the girl desperately reaches for her toy gun and pulls the trigger. This somehow teleports two of her attackers right on top of the train tracks, and as a result, they meet the same fate as the poor cat. More importantly, this is where the show’s dangerous misanthropy takes shape. Did you feel anything when those bullies died? Were you horrified like Aya? Probably not. But that’s what the show wants, is it not? Aya isn’t cruelly and relentlessly bullied on all sides because we’re trying to raise awareness for bullying victims. Rather, she’s bullied so that we may hate. The poor cat is murdered so that we may hate.

There’s a very telling moment that occurs shortly after the two bullies’ gruesome deaths. Aya walks through the hallway of her school and overhears a bunch of students talking about the recent tragedy. I dare even say that they’re more than just mere students. Rather, they function as this show’s Greek chorus; they say what the heroine wants to say. In fact, you could even suggest that they say what the show wants us to feel: “Who cares? They were punks anyway. We’re better off without them.” And that’s precisely what makes this opening episode of Mahou Shoujo Site so gross. Look, there are undeniably monsters out there in the real world, and we need to stop them. But this anime isn’t merely about stopping evil. It’s about training you to hate your enemy so much that you can kill them without any remorse. I’m not under any delusion that every single bad person on this planet can be rehabilitated. Of course not. That’s just pure naivete. But Mahou Shoujo Site skips right to the misanthropy without blinking an eye.

Near the end of the episode, the ringleader threatens to cut Aya’s mouth with a box cutter as revenge. She doesn’t have any proof that Aya is responsible for her friends’ deaths, but she doesn’t care. All of a sudden, time freezes for everyone but Aya and a new girl. Tsuyuno enters the restroom and makes it known to the girl that she’s a mahou shoujo as well. If you haven’t already guessed, she can stop time. She then nonchalantly takes the box cutter and slices the ringleader’s throat. Just. Like. That. No emotion, no anything. “There,” she says, “Just another unfortunate accident.” She even chides our heroine for not doing it first. Of course, I can easily imagine that Aya will retain her soft-hearted kindness. She’ll be the one who never quite gets used to the brutality required of her in order to survive in this comically sadistic world. Nevertheless, it’s not just about her. It’s about you and me as well. It’s about what the audience feels. If the show can convince us that it’s okay to murder kids — no matter how ridiculously evil they are portrayed — then that’s a problem.

Gurazeni Ep. 1: Tough break

Gurazeni wants us to focus on the more pragmatic side of baseball, i.e. the money. When the opposing batter fouls out on a bunt, he is immediately sent back to the minors. Bonda thinks that this is a slight against him, but not really. The guy popped up on the first pitch. If you can’t get a bunt down, do you really belong on the roster? Probably not. Anyways, Bonda is obsessed with money. He even knows the opposing players’ salaries. He makes 18 million yen a year, which is supposedly on the lower end of the spectrum. That’s roughly $186,000 in US dollars. According to this article, the average baseball player in Japan pulls in around 33 million yen. But I mean, his salary sounds about right. Bonda’s not a closer. Hell, he’s not even the primary set-up man. He’s just a LOOGY, i.e. a lefty one-out guy.

Anyways… I don’t think this show is very appealing to non-baseball fans. I really like the sports, and I still find it incredibly boring. Is it worth following from week to week? Probably not.

I wasn’t gonna watch this episode until Saturday night, but after checking tomorrow’s packed schedule, I may as well get this out of the way now. So yeah, there goes my Friday night…

— Lacia can hack into nearby hIEs and see what they see. Actually, she does more than that. She’s literally controlling what they see, so we learn that she’s been keeping an eye on Arato all along. She’s probably been doing this ever since she joined his family.

— She then took quite a hit in order to shield the worst character in the entire story from certain death. How unfortunate.

— The animation is just as bad as the story.

— I’m actually surprised that there hasn’t been an official response to all these hIEs turning into zombies. You’d think the people in charge of this city would instantly realize that something’s gone terribly wrong. You’d think that perhaps an army would show up to quell this outbreak. Maybe there is no army. Maybe society can’t even mount such a force anymore… but who can really say? Honestly, Beatless’s world-building has been spotty at best.

— Arato eventually meets up with Ryo, and they both escape to the park. We know that the latter is in cahoots with Ginga, so I’m not exactly sure what he’s trying to accomplish here. At first, I thought he was going to lure Arato into a trap, but then he allows his buddy to drive the car.

— It’s also quite weird how some of these hIEs just gawk at their attackers. Some run, some don’t. I guess you could assume that the behavioral management cloud is currently being overloaded, but that’s not a very satisfying explanation.

— That’s ironic. I mean, c’mon, Arato ends up driving his buddy to the shopping mall. That’s just classic Dawn of the Dead.

— The human vs hIE debate continues to rear its ugly head when Arato and Ryo come across a crying child hIE in the abandoned mall. Arato does what he can to help the kid, and this encounter makes him decide to head straight to the management center. He now wants to stop the zombie outbreak first and foremost, which really pisses Ryo off. Ryo only wants to save Yuka and that’s it: “If you see them as equal to humans, you don’t value humans enough!” It’s a matter of authenticity, I guess. The child can cry, but Ryo doesn’t think that the hIE’s emotions are authentic. He would argue that the child is crying because it’s being told to. It’s not crying because it actually understands fear and loss. Does Ryo have a point? Eh, I dunno. I don’t know enough about how the Higgins AI operates. Who’s to say that some small instance of Higgins — the instance that is in control of this child hIE — isn’t actually feeling the authentic desire to cry right now? Sure, Ginga said otherwise in last week’s episode, but can we really trust his word?

— All of a sudden, a massive explosion rocks the mall and Methode shows up. Again, if you’re this close to fire, you’d probably die.

— Ryo tells his buddy to go on ahead. Meanwhile, he’ll stay behind to slow Methode down. But I thought he was working with Ginga… so what’s really going on?

— Arato drags the child hIE all the way to the management center instead of just finding a place to safely hide the child. But when they finally reach the server room, he kneels down and tells the kid to run away, ’cause it’s dangerous here. What?

— Snowdrop has taken over the server room, which means she’s responsible the zombie outbreak. She’s another character whose motivations aren’t entirely clear.

— Arato thinks that his only course of action is to destroy the server. And how will he accomplish this? With a power drill, of course!

— Ginga then steps out of the shadows to spout even more gibberish. Same as before, he claims that hIEs can’t comprehend human behavior: “Even your relationship with Lacia is just an imitation of a common fictional story from her point of view.” I’m not sure if his argument is really all that substantive. Humans, too, merely imitate the narratives and metanarratives that we come across in our lives. For instance, I’m not born with the natural instinct to be romantic. I only ever behave romantically because I’ve seen other people’s romances, and their narratives seem appealing to me. You can thus argue that our thought processes are no different from that of an hIE. It’s not that hIEs lack humanity… it’s more than we’re not really all that special. More specifically, human behavior is not all that special.

— Arato tries to argue, but he suddenly sees Yuka and this shuts him up real fast. Meanwhile, Ginga switches gears and tries to convince Snowdrop to join his cause. He starts freaking out, however, when he realizes that the hIE can communicate directly with Higgins, but this means… what, exactly?

— Lacia finally shows up, but Ginga is certain that she has her hands full with Snowdrop. It’s not that Snowdrop necessarily wants to help him, but she apparently wants both Lacia’s head and her Black Monolith. Don’t ask me why, though.

— So Ginga wants Arato to trade Lacia for Yuka, but the kid refuses. Good choice. That doesn’t stop Yuka from calling him an idiot, but hey, I could live with that!

— Lacia makes a concerned face, and Ginga calls it simply analogue hacking. Really? A facial expression is analogue hacking now? I feel like I don’t understand what that term even means anymore. Is my cat analogue hacking me when she mews cutely for food?

— Unfortunately, Lacia wants to protect Arato and Yuka, so she agrees to accept Ginga as her owner. Oh no, if you particularly dislike NTR, you might wanna look away!

— So what does Arato do? He starts to plead embarrassingly. He even declares his love. Yeesh. It’s funny, though. The same sort of scene happens in Darling in the FranXX, but when I see it here, it just makes me cringe.

— In the end, Lacia decides against switching owners. Instead, she rips out the terminal (port?) that even allows her to change owners. It’s a cool looking scene, I guess. Anyways, this is supposedly bad for Lacia, because it means she can no longer accept new owners if Arato dies. But uh, can’t you just repair it? Why are we supposed to believe that this change is permanent?

— There’s a meme to be made here…

— Okay, that’s a little too on the nose, man.

— Ginga berates Arato for falling in love with an hIE, so Yuka retorts, “Arato is great because he does whatever you ask him to!” Huh…? What does that even have to do with anything?

— For some reason, however, Ginga sees something that frightens him, so he just runs off. This means Yuka is now free from his clutches, but she’s also defenseless as the zombie hIEs begin to storm the server room. That’s when a bunch of sane hIEs also show up and start fighting back against their zombie counterparts. Apparently, this is all due to Arato’s actions from earlier in the episode. By saving the child hIE, the kid was able to eventually find help and come to the protagonist’s aid. So, uh, they’re still being controlled by Higgins, right? And from Higgins’ cloud of data, this perfectly sensible course of action emerged. It’s really hard to see the bad guy’s point of view, because they act as though human brains don’t also work the same way.

— Then just when you thought that this anime’s story developments couldn’t possibly be random enough, Marina Saffron shows up to save Yuka. Y’know, she’s the hIE with the same registration number as Lacia. But does this mean that Marina has been on standby this entire time?

— Snowdrop starts scattering her petals everywhere, so Lacia immediately hops into position and fires her weapon at her sister. All we get to see, however, is a massive hole in the ceiling. Snowdrop is gone, and without her to corrupt the server room, the zombie hIEs are now back to normal.

— This apple metaphor is also too on the nose.

— Meanwhile, Arato turns the corner and finds Ginga’s mangled corpse. He then looks up to find Methode draped all over Ryo. It looks as though his best bud is shaping up to be the show’s final boss. Obviously, Methode gives Ryo a lot of power. But what does she gain from him? What do any of them gain from having an owner, actually? I would have to rewatch previous episodes to understand why this ownership concept is oh-so-necessary, but yeah, I’m not about to that. I just remember something about how only a human can take responsibility, and this is why Lacia depends so heavily upon Arato. But with Methode having such a renegade personality, why does she need an owner?

With Zero-Two threatening to devour Hiro’s emotions, the latter ends up diving deep into the depths of his partner’s mind. What he finds in her memories hardly resembles a monster. For as long as she could remember, Zero-Two was always treated like an animal. She found herself confined to a room as a child, and we must remember that solitary confinement has a terrible effect on our mental health. Hiro can’t really relate. Sure, he was confined to the Garden, but he also had friends. I can’t even imagine how a young child would cope with solitary confinement. This might also explain why she currently has such disdain for the plantations. When we paid a visit to Plantation 13’s city in a previous episode, we saw how bland and lifeless it had looked on the inside. Even to us, they resembled lifeless prisons.

Zero-Two even used to be chained to the wall. Memories are unreliable. There are memories that Zero-Two can’t really recall, and likewise, there is a figure in her past that she can’t quite remember clearly. Still, she used to have someone who would treat the girl with kindness. She couldn’t free the girl, but she must have loved her like a parent. So one day, her caretaker brought Zero-Two a picture book, and we now know why she was tearing up the library in last week’s episode. All of a sudden, the caretaker disintegrates in Zero-Two’s memories. According to the girl, the woman never returned. I doubt she got in trouble for giving Zero-Two the picture book. After all, they would’ve confiscated it long ago if that had been the case. Rather, the woman probably gave Zero-Two the picture book because she knew she could no longer return. Knowing that this would be the last time she could pay Zero-Two a visit, the caretaker decided to give the girl something invaluable.

The perspective eventually switches over to Hiro back when he used to live in the Garden. He was always different from the other kids, because he was quite introspective as a child. He even tells us later that he was the only kid who would ever ask the adults any questions. Obviously, he never got any answers. Still, kids are naturally inquisitive, aren’t they? It’s probably a safe bet that children in this universe are artificially created. After all, nobody even has sex anymore. So at some point, they must have come up with a way to create children without sexual reproduction, but the process is not perfect. We are later told that the lower your number, the greater your chance of becoming a Parasite. As a result, some of the children don’t come out right. Some of them don’t behave like humans, so they lack the potential to be good Parasites.

Hiro went through his own battery of tests, but nothing that appeared to be too cruel or sadistic. One day, he saw Zero-Two being dragged through the Laboratory just as he was leaving. We later see her stripped naked and strapped to an examination table. The girl underwent scarring and traumatic experimentation over and over. It’s remarkable they managed not to break her mind. Dr. Franxx can’t believe that Zero-Two “[had] developed such a human form.” They must have been creating human-klaxosaur hybrids for quite some time now. But even though he marveled over her human form, he and the other scientists in the room certainly didn’t treat her like one. They shot holes in the poor girl just to test her superhuman healing capabilities. After all, the man himself appears to be half-machine. The irony here is that he’s even less human than she is.

Back in the Garden, children would disappear overnight. It must be painful to wake up one day and find your friend missing. Not only that, you have to live with the possibility that you too will disappear one day if Papa no longer loves you. If you’re not a good candidate to become a Parasite, then you’re just a waste of resources to the adults. They don’t need useless children. This was when Hiro started to lose his trust in the adults. He always asked them questions, but he was starting to concern them. The adults feared that the kid would have a bad influence on the other kids, and they’re not exactly wrong. But interestingly enough, Dr. Franxx wanted to keep Hiro the same; he wanted to see what Hiro might become.

Hiro once again wandered through the halls one day and came across Zero-Two being practically tortured in the name of science. Honestly, there are a lot of interesting experiments that we have yet to conduct because they’re simply not ethical. Clearly, this dystopian universe has no such barriers. Shocked by cruelty before him, Hiro resolved to run away with Zero-Two. He ended breaking her out of her prison by climbing a tree and easily shattering the window to Zero-Two’s room. You’d think they’d put up sturdier windows to prevent Zero-Two from escaping, but this minor oversight isn’t really all that important to the overall story. Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but when Hiro reached out to the frightened Zero-Two, his shadow resembled the caretaker in her memories. I’m not saying that they’re one and the same. Of course not. Rather, they were the only two to ever treat the girl with any sort of kindness, so the imagery here is possibly deliberate. After all, when he patted her head later, he instantly reminded her of her caretaker.

We see a solitary floating feather over and over in this episode. We first see it when he spied through the window to her room, and we see it again when he broke her out of that same room. This feather reminds me of both Zero-Two and Hiro’s monologues at the very start of the series. Y’know, about that species of bird that requires a partner in order to take flight. Zero-Two and Hiro appear to have always been fated for each other. They’re “imperfect, incomplete creatures,” and they must lean on each other in order to take flight. We see this demonstrated over and over throughout the story. Hiro can’t pilot without Zero-Two, and Zero-Two devours anyone who isn’t her darling. But the metaphor extends to their first meeting as well. Had Hiro not freed Zero-Two from her prison, who can really say how much longer she could’ve endured all that painful experimentation. She might have given up on life at some point. Likewise, seeing her horrible treatment is what eventually gave Hiro the impetus to openly rebel against the adults. He would only ever ask questions. Zero-Two inspired him to actually defy their overseers.

Naturally, Zero-Two didn’t know how to speak back then. I can’t imagine anyone would bother teaching her any sort of language. Hiro tried to name her, and I think Oni would’ve been cool, but in the end, Hiro opted for Zero-Two. Well, we now know where the girl got her name. Anyways, Hiro wanted to run away with Zero-Two, but since they were only children back then, his plan wasn’t very well thought-out. There was no way they could get very far, especially in the harsh environment around them. They had no food nor shelter. They had only the clothes on their backs, and two pieces of candy. Still, this was when Zero-Two developed her sweet tooth, and in return, she shared her picture book with him. Everything about her personality stems from the one precious day she got to spend with Hiro.

The fairy tale appeared to be a variant of “The Little Mermaid,” and likewise, it also had a sad ending. In the story, a princess gave up her wings in order to become human and marry the prince she loved. Unfortunately, her happiness was short-lived, and she was cursed to turn back into a beast. She could free herself from the curse by murdering her true love, but in the end, she opted to sacrifice her own life. Zero-Two has obviously been modeling her life after her favorite story. Even the witch explains the girl’s insecurities: “No matter how you disguise yourself, you are a beast…” A ll we can do now is and wait and see if the rest of Zero-Two and Hiro’s story will follow the fairy tale as well.

Unfortunately — and inevitably — the adults caught up to the kids. To them, even Hiro was expendable; Zero-Two was all they wanted. And this was when the girl felt that she and Hiro were too different — that his blood is red and hers is blue. She was a monster and he was not. But is this really true? Back in the present, we see Ichigo desperately trying to subdue Strelizia so that she can get Hiro to safety. From what we’ve seen over the past few weeks, it appears that Zero-Two can’t permanently maintain her human form. With every passing day, her facade threatens to shatter. She will eventually revert back to being a beast like the princess in the picture book. No matter how much time she spends with Hiro and the rest of Squad 13, she can’t become them. Not on a biological level, anyways. In fact, there’s the possibility of Hiro turning into a beast like her. That is her curse.

But then again, is that really a danger? What’s wrong with becoming like Zero-Two? At first, I thought that Trigger and A-1 Pictures had made the girl’s beast-form too cute and adorable, but maybe that’s the point. Why do we hate ourselves? Why do we call ourselves ugly? Are we really all that different from the people that we admire? Zero-Two wants to become human, because she doesn’t think a prince could ever be in love with a beast like her. But that’s not really true, is it? And that’s something we all have to asks ourselves when we look into the mirror everyday. Are we really as ugly and horrible as we think? Do we really need to change ourselves as much as we think we do?

In the end, Hiro recovers his repressed memories. He remembers his promise to Mitsuru, and he even remembers how the adults treated him. I’m interested to see how he makes up with Mitsuru and if the latter will even be receptive to Hiro’s efforts. I also want to see how he acts towards Papa and the rest of the adults from here on out. I’d be disappointed if he still trusts them. He’ll have a hard time convincing the others (but maybe not Zorome after what he’s experienced). But more importantly, Hiro remembers the girl with the picture book, and she remembers him:

Misc. notes & observations:

— Huh, it looks like Zero-Two used to have a lot of stuffed animals too. In another universe, she and Ichigo would probably be best friends. In this universe, however, their relationship is about to go all the way back to square one. That’s what I imagine, anyway. Hiro will still insist that Zero-Two’s perfectly safe for him, but Ichigo won’t initially believe him.

— The picture book has neat-looking art. I can’t imagine that this current society is very interested in creating this sort of thing, so this picture book must be rather old.

— Speaking of numbers determining your potential, can’t two kids can have the same number then? Also, Ichigo’s number is lower than Hiro’s, so she apparently had more potential than him. That makes sense, I guess. She’s currently the leader of Squad 13, after all. Potential isn’t just about being a good pilot.

— You receive quite an education in the Garden. I’m not going to stare too closely at that blackboard, though.

— Anyone below 099 got special treatment and not in the good way.

— As a young child, Ichigo couldn’t quite cope with the fact that she was different from everyone else. The other kids are emotionless — almost catatonic even. On the other hand, she and Hiro can keenly feel and express their emotions. Apparently, your emotional capacity determines your ability to become a Parasite. What’s also interesting is that Ichigo found differences to be scary. To help cheer the girl up, Hiro gave her a name. In doing so, he taught her that it’s okay to be unique. They don’t need to share everything. Still, I can’t help but wonder if a small part of Ichigo still holds onto her fear of differences. Maybe this is something to examine in future episodes.

— Hiro eventually went on to name all of the kids… like this shy boy who will eventually grow up to hate his guts.

— The adults weren’t happy to see Hiro giving everyone names, but they didn’t punish him either.

— We get to see the scene in which Hiro had promised to pilot with Mitsuru. Now that he and Zero-Two are connected through Strelizia, all of these old memories are bubbling up from the depth of Hiro’s consciousness. It also now makes sense now why the other kids feel as though Hiro’s personality suddenly changed one day. The adults messed with both his and Zero-Two’s memories to prevent them from clearly remembering the time they spent together. Mitsuru was just collateral damage.

— Man, the girl ate a poor rodent. The rest of the rodent family must be devastated.

— Children need to play, and Zero-Two was no different.

— Your mouth isn’t sterile, kid. Hiro read in a book that animals lick their wounds to induce healing, which is true. For instance, cat saliva contains enzymes that encourages blood clotting should the cat ever suffer a serious injury. At the same time, however, you never want a cat to bite you, because their mouths are full of bacteria that your body can’t ignore. Nevertheless, Zero-Two likened Hiro licking her wounds to a prince kissing a princess’s hand.

— I don’t know why we don’t get to hear the rest of Hiro’s promise. He obviously promised to be her darling.

For people who haven’t played the game, I’ll try not to spoil too much of the plot. 

— So for starters, Persona 5 was my second favorite game of 2017 (Nier: Automata just barely eked it out). It was pretty much a guaranteed that I would cover this series. I didn’t do the same for Persona 4 The Animation, but I think I took a hiatus from blogging around that time.

— There’s a distinct lack of Lyn Inaizumi so far in this adaptation. I know she does both the OP and the ED, but the casino opening just doesn’t feel right without the “Life Will Change” track.

— Well, this is early.

— I think Ren is far more interesting than Yu Narukami. For one, Ren kinda has an intriguing duality to his character that the other MCs lacked. He’s all about flair and bravado as a Phantom Thief, but he plays up the innocent schoolboy shtick in the real world. In certain scenes, I can’t help but wonder if he’s putting on an act. I’ll try to point them out as I come across them.

— It looks like anime MC got beaten up a whole lot more than his video game counterpart, but I might be misremembering things. It’s probably about the same now that I think about it.

— Hm, did Sae Niijima always have purple eyeshadow? Anyways, she plays a prominent role in the story, but I actually don’t have strong feelings about her character at all. Some people kinda disliked her for a certain incident that occurs later in the story, but I actually sympathize with Sae. We’ll talk about that when we get there.

— If you’re watching this as someone who has never touched the Persona series, I have to wonder if the opening isn’t slightly confusing. I mean, a butterfly just shows up out of nowhere and starts spouting gibberish at the main character. I think I’d be confused too if I wasn’t already used to both Persona’s brand of storytelling and its aesthetics.

— I want Engrish.

— Sae begins to interrogate Ren, so now we flash all the way back to the beginning of the year. What we’re watching now is the story that Ren wants to tell… people are often biased storytellers, though. There’s no reason to think that Ren is an unreliable narrator, but at the same time, there’s no reason to think he wouldn’t embellish a few details either, right? And since the game is all about putting the player in control of a kid’s life for an entire Japanese school year, then wouldn’t it make sense that we’d exaggerate a few things too in order to make ourselves look cool? Eh, just some food for thought. Essentially, both P3 and P4’s stories started out in much the same way, so it’s nice to see P5 change things up slightly with a framing device.

— Huh, Akechi shows up rather early. Plus, there’s even a mention of P4’s Naoto. There’ll be plenty of time to talk about Akechi.

— This adaptation likes its nods to previous games.

— This scene is another example of what I’m talking about. Ren notices a strange new app on his phone, then all of a sudden, the world freezes around him and turns a bloody crimson red. A huge flame appears out of nowhere… then everything returns to normal. The main character isn’t even phased. Odd, isn’t it? And if you were new to the story, you might even say that the narrative so far is a bit confusing.

— What’s cool about adaptations is being able to see old locations from different angles.

— Also, that dog is not mean to you in the game at all. Game dog is a good boy. Anime dog, on the other hand… well, not so much.

— No, I didn’t miss Takemi. I saw her too, but since she’s not important yet to the story, no need to mention her now.

— Anime Sojiro seems a whole lot nicer and softer than game Sojiro. They share the same words, but it’s all about the tone and delivery. I thought game Sojiro was kind of an ass, honestly. Early on, anyways.

— Then we get anime Igor… not much to say right now other than that I miss his old voice.

— I wasn’t a big fan of Caroline and Justine. Even after finishing their storyline, I didn’t care much for the results either. Still better than Margaret from P4, I suppose. God, Margaret’s English voice-acting was terrible.

— Oh wow, they hinted at this super early. Speaking of Kawakami Sadayo, who ends up becoming Ren’s homeroom teacher, she’s probably the worst conceptual character in the story. There’s a lot that I like about her, but there’s also a lot that just don’t jive when you consider the first arc’s conflict. But again, we can debate that later when we finally get to know anime Kawakami.

— We finally get to see an example of those strange traffic accidents that have been occurring all throughout the city. Train operators are randomly going nuts. I actually think the anime cutscene within the game does a better job than what we see here.

— Ren’s mask falters a bit when he asks Sojiro why the latter even agreed to take him in. Sojiro begins to give a terrible life lesson, and this reveals a bit about why I vastly prefer Ren to both Yuki and Yu: “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. And no matter what happens, pretend like you didn’t see it.” We then see Ren ball up one of his fists in anger. He’s trapped in a culture that prides order and maintaining the status quo over freedom and individuality. At the same time, however, he has to pretend to be good kid. Not that he isn’t one, but y’know what I mean — wearing glasses that he doesn’t need to wear, always keeping his jacket buttoned up, being soft-spoken around everyone, so on and so forth. Remember, he’s a Phantom Thief. He’s a trickster. His real life personality is a fake; it’s his Bruce Wayne to the alter ego’s Batman.

— Ah, Kamoshida… I think he’s a good villain for the story to start with. He’s very easy to hate.

— And finally, the anime introduces us to Ann. I like Ann. From what I can tell, she’s not particularly popular in terms of P5 waifus, but I don’t mind her at all. She’s a bit of an airhead, but I find her a whole lot more relatable than some of the later characters we’ll encounter. I know I’m sounding like a broken record, but I’ll expand on this later.

— I’m glad they kept Ann’s discomfort in Kamoshida’s car. Actually, she looks even more put off here than she did in the game’s cutscene.

— Ryuji is infuriating, because he’s a huge goddamn idiot. His heart is in the right place, but for reasons that you’ll see later, he’s such a dumbass. I never really felt bad that everyone kept making fun of him. He often brought it on himself. But honestly, he’s less annoying than P3’s Junpei by far. Between Ryuji and Yosuke, however… I think it’s a push.

— Eventually, the mysterious app sends both Ren and Ryuji to the other world. Shadow Kamoshida looks smaller than I thought he’d look. He’s not as big as I would expect from a former Olympic medalist. They kept his pink speedo, but he might be missing a few leg hairs. These details don’t really matter. I’m just pointing them out ’cause they came to mind. Also, if you don’t know why there’s a Shadow Kamoshida, it’ll eventually be explained to you in a future episode (likely next week’s).

— I always liked how the majority of the people who played the game would cringe at Ren tearing off his mask. It’s also a great example about how metaphors don’t necessarily have to be subtle. There’s nothing particularly subtle going on here. Yes, tearing off the mask that you wear is necessarily painful. The imagery is powerful enough that subtlety isn’t needed. I think the game version looks much more painful than what we get here, though.

— Hm, Ren looks too pretty here, I think. His eyes need more craziness in them.

— But overall, the adaptation seems pretty solid. The animation is great, and I hope to see A-1 Pictures keep it up. There are a few minor changes that aren’t as effective, but nothing too major — nothing that actually detracts from the story. I hope the adaptation continues to lean on fleshing out Ren’s personality, since the previous Persona adaptations really dropped the ball on that front. I hated anime Makoto, and anime Yu seemed more like comic relief than anything.

What a mouthful of a title. Anyways, this can’t actually be worse than the main series, right? Well, I think that’ll depend on how dramatic it tries to be. SAO wasn’t bad simply because Kirito was an overpowered harem lead. It was bad because it took itself way too seriously. Its creator simply didn’t have the chops to pull off the serious topics that he wanted to tackle while also fellating his self-insert hero. But anyways, enough about Kirito and his tired shtick. Our pink-clad heroine is the new hotness!

— Ah, you say that, narrator, but the jackass main character ended up with a sword anyway.

— So this takes place in the same VR universe as those Sinon episodes from SAO 2. I remember that series stating early on that your avatar in GGO is completely randomized. Kirito apparently lucked out and got a rare model. I wonder if the same is still true here. What has remained true, however, is that if you get a cute avatar, you’re automatically the protagonist of the story.

— So not only is our heroine — her in-game name is LLENN (Ren?) — decked out in complete pink, she also has a cute and adorable avatar in a sea of ugly dudes. I actually don’t mind the pink outfit. C’mon, it’s a fucking game. It’s not an actual war where she would actually care about camouflage. If you know anything about MMO players — myself included — they like to wear some ugly ass gear just to amuse themselves. If you let me play a game in which everyone is dressed up in drab shades of camo green, you can bet your ass I’m going to be in all pink. Plus, her Oddjob-sized avatar makes her a difficult target to hit. She doesn’t need camo.

— Oh hey, the gun even has a name.

— LLENN sounds like a schoolgirl whereas her partner sounds like some gruff military veteran. I guess nobody uses their real life voices in these VR MMOs. You just don’t quite get the authentic online gaming experience if you’ve never had to listen to multiple nasally voices argue over some nerdy topic like whether or not Goku can defeat Superman.

— So far, this show is kiiiiiinda boring.

— Every so often, a scan goes off and this will reveal the location for every team leader. M, the girl’s partner, is basically using her as a decoy. He also appears to be the brains of their 2-man unit.

— LLENN’s location is eventually revealed, so a nearby team opens fire on her. She doesn’t react like a gamer, does she? I don’t care if the VR is realistic, because it’s still a game at the end of the day. This isn’t the first time she’s played this game. Hell, I’m sure that this isn’t the first time she’s been shot at either. Why is she actually scared?

— These guys don’t really behave like actual gamers either. They’re all grouped up together in one place, emptying all their bullets into one location like a bunch of adrenaline-addled idiots. Who plays like that? Nobody, man. Like shit, just a lob a grenade in their direction and they’re done for.

— But instead, a sniper from another team starts taking them out one by one. The rest of the sniper’s team moves in to clean up the rest of the stragglers.

— M notices that this third team has people rappelling quickly down a building. He then informs us that players can’t rappel this fast with just the in-game mechanics. As a result, these guys must know how to rappel in real life! Her partner then reasons that the enemy team must be comprised of actual soldiers! Oh lord.

— Again, LLENN has the only female avatar that we’ve seen thus far. Your avatar must be still be randomized, since the male-female divide would never be this extreme if players actually had a choice. I can’t imagine getting into an MMO in which I don’t have any control over my appearance, though.

— By the way, how come her team only has two people in it? Guess we won’t find out till next week’s episode.

— Welp, this looks terrible.

— We then get to watch a bunch of random nobodies take each other out. But again, I find myself incredibly bored.  The action mostly consists of people just firing guns at each other, so it isn’t visually interesting to watch. And most of the chatter between our heroine and her partner has revolved around staring at maps, predicting the enemy teams’ movements, and discussing what they should do next. It’s so, so boring. That might be the show’s curse: LLENN’s exploits might not be as dumb as Kirito’s, but we’ll probably find it difficult to care about her at all. We’ll see, though. We still don’t know a damn thing about the person behind her avatar. It’s just that the first episode should ideally draw viewers in, but none of the action is remotely compelling.

— After most of the teams have been taken out, the pro team decides to move in on the girl and her partner. Supposedly, this is where our heroine shines. LLENN’s small size means that she has incredible speed and agility… which, again, makes me wonder why she acted like a complete newbie just earlier.

— The pro team follows the latest scan to the girl’s location, but they find nobody there. All of a sudden, our munchkin — hey, I’m just using their words — suddenly pops out of a tiny suitcase and mows them all down… with tears in her eyes. Okay then.

— So yeah, the girl’s diminutive size gives her a great advantage on the battlefield. Not only can she hide inside tiny objects like a suitcase, she can also shield herself completely behind other players’ dead avatars. This is why your friends don’t let you pick Oddjob when you go over to their house to play Goldeneye. So what are the downsides? Her avatar must have drawbacks, right? Otherwise, GGO doesn’t seem very balanced to me if you can just luck into a tiny avatar.

— The rest of the pro team opts to quit the match, because they’re only playing GGO in the first place in order to help them train. Since nobody in the real world can move as quickly as our heroine, there’s no point in them continuing to fight against her. Well, that’s convenient. I mean, can’t you just keep playing because… it’s fun? I mean, it is a game.

— We suddenly cut to the real world and watch a bunch of girls fangasm over our heroine’s latest exploits. They must be watching a recording, because we soon cut to someone who looks like a mom bringing drinks and snacks to her daughter’s sleepover. But in actuality, this lady — her name is Karen — is actually the player behind LLENN.

— Oh yeah, I remember hearing about this… our heroine is super insecure about her height. She’s six feet tall or something. Welp, we go from being traumatized by guns to being embarrassed over our height.

— Nevertheless, this isn’t a very great start for Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online. It’s just not very fun to watch. Maybe if I get to know Karen, I’ll care more about LLENN, but we’ll see.

Oh lord, there are too many shows to watch this season. I can barely keep up. 

Boku no Hero Academia Ep. 39: The swimming competition to end all swimming competitions

I haven’t decided if I’ll dedicate a post to this show every week. I was hoping to see if the first episode would provide me with enough material to talk about, but this week’s offering mostly plays catch-up. There’s barely any new material to cover as we watch recaps after recaps of previous events. What a bummer. Oh well, here are some quick and dirty notes on what I saw tonight:

— So first things first, I gotta acclimate myself to the original JP voices. Yes, I watched the dubs for the previous however many episodes. As a result, everyone sounds so weird to me now.

— The new OP isn’t doing its job to hype me up at all.

— Midoriya looks bigger and more grown up. That’s cool to see… unless I’m imagining things.

— I can’t decide who I dislike more: Bakugo or Mineta. You know, I’ve read a lot of arguments in Bakugo’s favor, but I’m still not convinced. Luckily, few people bother to defend Mineta.

— Look at these guys just standing around the far end of the pool, giving each other super serious shounen staredowns. Like for fuck sake, it’s summer vacation. They’re supposed to be having a friendly swimming competition. Do you guys ever have an off switch? It just cracks me up. I want a normal guy off to the side who can see this shit going down, and he’s just as confused as I am.

— Aizawa is such a buzzkill.

— Also, none of the girls get to do anything cool in this week’s recap-filled episode. Hmmm.

Hinamatsuri Ep. 1: I hate ikura sushi

Nitta’s a gangster, but he’s only in it for the expensive vases. He’s not a killer; hell, he can’t even fight. One day, a strange battle doll magically appears in Nitta’s apartment. Wherever she’s from, she’s meant to take orders and eliminate all enemies. But again, Nitta’s just in it for the vases. And for some odd reason, he feels compelled to act as her caretaker. In fact, everyone who comes close to Hina seemingly wants to care for her. So over the next few days, we see this odd “father-daughter” couple learn to cohabitate. Of course, this is easier said than done. Since the girl has all the powers, however, it’s really Nitta who has to adapt. Eventually, Hina learns to appreciate the fact that he doesn’t boss her around. Sure, he’ll ask her to do him a few odd favors, but he never makes her do anything against her wishes. When a rival gang shoots his boss, Nitta is ordered by the next-in-command take revenge. Hina ends up doing all the dirty work for her caretaker without having to shed any blood. But hey, results are results, so Nitta looks good in front of his gang. He returns the favor by taking Hina to a high-end sushi joint and ordering her an extravagant ikura bowl.

So I kinda enjoyed this episode. There weren’t any gut-busting laughs, but I found myself cracking a smile from time to time. Hina’s good for some deadpan delivery. Its pop culture references are definitely dated, though. I liked the Terminator punchline at the end of the episode, but man, I can’t even remember the last time I saw a Wii Balance Board. As for the story itself, I won’t try to think about it too much. I don’t think her origins really matter. I also like the fact that most of the violence here is mostly slapstick. After watching some really edgy shows this week, I’ll gladly end my week with a wholesome comedy (even if the main character is a yakuza). I was a little hesitant when she initially emerged naked from her egg-shaped prison, but Nitta seems harmless enough. I do wonder why a young, successful yakuza with a nice spacious apartment is single, though. Ah well. This isn’t a show that deserves its own entry every single week, but I’ll gladly talk about briefly in the weekly “Everything Else” posts that I do.

Devils’ Line Ep. 1: Speaking of edgy…

Whoa man, I don’t think that’s consensual! Nobody wants pink eye! And why is his left hand on her right leg! Why’s it gotta be like that! So yeah, what you have here is yet another show about bloodsucking vampires. Sex and vampires have always gone hand-in-hand, and Devils’ Line is no different. Lately, a serial killer has been on the rampage. Not only does he kill his victims — all women, of course — he also rapes them. But our story is really about Tsukasa, who can’t help but feel as though someone’s been following her. Could this suspicious guy be the serial killer? As she makes her way home one night, her friend Akimura starts behaving strangely. He’s always been in love with Tsukasa, but she just doesn’t feel the same way about him. That’s when the guy from the train suddenly steps in and reveals himself to be a police officer. He’s been tracking Akimura, who is revealed to be the actual vampire serial killer all along (gasp!). Akimura can’t deny it, because his DNA has been found on all three victims. Whoops.

Right off the bat, Tsukasa is defined by her innocence. She doesn’t have a boyfriend, and one of her best friends makes it a point to highlight her purity. On the other hand, Akimura resembles your typical “nice guy” in both looks and behavior. Basically, he looks harmless enough on the surface, but he’s really quite dangerous. He puts Tsukasa on a pedestal, so he necessarily has to treat other women badly. After all, he’s already raped and murdered three women. Last but not least, we have the police officer Yuuki Anzai. He’s actually half-vampire himself, and he certainly doesn’t treat Tsukasa with kids’ gloves. I mean, just look at those eyes. He’s the prototypical bad boy. Not only that, the bad boy archetype is really just the polar opposite of the manic pixie dream girl. His job is to come into Tsukasa’s vanilla ass life and spice it up with his edginess. She could never go for the ideal Akimura, because he’s too boring. They wouldn’t have any passion in their romance. It’s only when she discovers her friend’s dark secret that she suddenly starts to feel anything for him.

Anzai, on the other hand, always elicits strong emotions. That’s what he’s there for. Like how the manic pixie dream girl’s job is to make her male partner come out of his shell and appreciate life, the same is true for bad boys and the ladies that they pursue. Their job is to constantly test the limits of the heroine’s boundaries; sometimes, he even gets to breach them. He never goes too far, but he goes far enough that she can’t help but be overwhelmed with emotions. Love, hate, passion, disgust — they’re all part and parcel of this dangerous courtship that Tsukasa wants to indulge in even if she won’t come out and admit it openly. He’ll hurt her, but not so much that she can’t forgive him. And in return, the saintly, innocent maiden gets to experience the thrills of her life without actually having to seek them out. And that’s precisely why we have that quasi-rapey scene at the end of the episode. Ooh, look at him pin her down on the ground, jamming his nasty tongue into her mouth. She can’t fight him off, but does she really want to? Consensual non-consent can be pretty hot, isn’t it?

Anyways, the vampires are ugly as sin in this show. The animation is ugly, too. I don’t think Devils’ Line deserves its own post, but maybe a paragraph or two will do.

I also checked out Amanchu! Advance, but as I suspected, it is absolutely not my sort of anime. I could barely make it through the first episode. As for Major 2nd, Daigo’s too young for me to be invested in his story. I’ve no desire to watch yet another loud and brash shounen play the underdog. As I’ve said before, sports anime are only interesting to me if there’s also interesting interpersonal drama. That’s why Ping Pong and H2 are the only series that I’ve ever really enjoyed. It’s also too bad that we can’t get a series about his sister Izumi. She’s apparently a fearsome pitcher in her own right. At least it’d be novel to see a girl succeed as a baseball player.

But I mean, these shows already make me want to kill myself, so what do I need those books for? 

Caligula Ep. 1: High school sucks

Wanna know why I even took an interest in this anime series in the first place? Well, check out the synopsis:

Mobius is a perfect digital world for the imagined benefit of humanity by μ, a virtual idol program that attained sentience and self-awareness. Only humans who are suffering in the real world and strongly relate to μ’s songs are lured into Mobius. Once they enter, people often forget that the real world exists. Regardless of age or gender, they are turned into students and forced to experience school life over and over, which μ considers “the most radiant time in a person’s life.”

Doesn’t that sound like anime’s biggest problem in a nutshell? Series after series are dedicated to the idolatry of high school life. So when a show comes along that has the potential to flip this trope upside-down, of course my interest is piqued. I really hoped that Caligula could deliver. So does it? Eh. The first fifteen minutes of the first episode are okay. They’re not great, but they’re not bad. Ritsu is a high schooler with an odd interest in psychology and philosophy. He tries to apply some of the highfalutin concepts that he reads about to his own life, but this doesn’t always work out. Still, he seems contented enough. Good school, good friends, and good books — what’s there to be unhappy about? That’s when he started to notice all of the incongruities around him. It all began when he stared at a bowl of ramen. No, seriously. Then later that night, he heard a strange voice call out to him while listening to μ’s latest single. Slowly but surely, Ritsu becomes more and more dissatisfied with his life, but he can’t quite put his finger on the cause. The world around him just feels… off. Sometimes, his friends’ behavior is off. It’s like a glitch in the Matrix. One rainy day, it looks as if everyone had turned their umbrellas in perfect synchronization, but because it only happened for a split second, Ritsu can’t decide if he actually saw it or if he’s just imagining things. And every so often, he see glimpses of another life — a life full of medication and doctors. That’s ominous. But concerning the episode itself, so far so good, right? Then the last five minutes of the episode happened.

During a graduation ceremony, Ritsu sort of freaks out in front of everyone. That’s when μ appears out of nowhere and starts singing. In reaction to her song, most of the student body suddenly transforms and goes on a rampage. Ritsu tries to escape with his friend Mifue, but he runs into this guy armed with a comically over-sized revolver. He takes out Ritsu’s pursuers, but before the anime can explain what’s going on, time’s up. The episode is over, and we’ll have to wait until next week to see more. But even so, I can’t shake that feeling of disappointment, because it looks as though Caligula will likely devolve into a series of shounen-esque battles. That’s not what I’m interested in at all. Oh yeah, there’s also a subplot involving Mifue, but it’s really just of the same, i.e. something’s off about this world.

Cutie Honey Universe Ep. 1: Oh boy…

I’ve never bothered with the Cutie Honey series before, so this is all new to me. First, we have Honey, a blonde girl who attends a girls-only academy full of inappropriate lesbian teachers. Whenever the evil Panther Claw organization strikes, our heroine transforms into Cutie Honey, a red-haired, sword-wielding soldier of love. Apparently, the bad guys (girls?) have taken over a jewelry store, but what they really want is Honey’s “Airborn Element Fixing Device” — whatever the fuck that is. As our heroine takes damage throughout her many battles, her clothes slow disintegrate until she’s practically naked. Unfortunately, Honey is unable to subdue her true nemesis Sister Jill, but she manages to at least make it through the day relatively unscathed. Finally, our heroine returns home to find her best friend all tied up shibari-style and covered in welts. Why? ‘Cause she tried to cover for her best friend, and this is what the evil teacher did to her. So yeah, you can definitely tell that this show isn’t intended for me. It’s like a trashy relic from a long, forgotten era. Its charms are wasted on me, but I’m sure someone out there is thrilled.

Libra of Nil Admirari Ep. 1: This is why reading is for losers

Yeah, I always knew books were only put on this Earth to corrupt the precious minds of our young children…

…wait, what’s going on?

C’mon, do you really gotta give the cute mascot character a butthole?

Aw man, why’s it gotta be like this! Anyways, you’ll find Tsugumi at the center of this story. Right after the OP, she finds herself being accosted by her brother Hitaki. He demands to know why she’s being forced into an arranged marriage. At first, I thought that perhaps Hitaki treasured his sister’s independence, but it turns out he’s really just a bougie asshole: “[Our father] wants to protect the family by selling you to some useless nouveau riche! Don’t you have any pride as a noble?!” Anyways, the damage is done. When the girl checks up on him later, she finds him spouting gibberish in a darkened room that stinks of oil. All of a sudden, he lights a match and sets himself on fire in front of his dear sister. God, younger siblings in anime are always creepy. The kid somehow manages to survive, but Tsugumi blames herself. More importantly, nothing that I’m watching right now jives with the OP’s tone. But that’s when these bishies show up to brighten our heroine’s day.

According to the pretty boys, there are “cursed tomes” filled to the brim with human emotions. Sometimes, the emotions are so intense that they can drive the reader to madness… like Hitaki! Luckily, Western printed books are safe. Phew! Thank God for Johannes Gutenberg! He really saved us our hides! But unfortunately, Japan remains littered with dangerous, handwritten books. As a result, our bishies need to go all Fahrenheit 451 on those books’ asses! Okay, maybe not that last part. But you may as well burn them, ’cause when Tsugumi’s butler goes to retrieve her brother’s book, it literally radiates with evil ki. Only our heroine can see its aura, though. This compels Hayato, one of the pretty boys, to bow his head in reverence, and beg Tsugumi to join their team. Believe in me who believes in you, and together, we can burn every copy of Dazai’s overrated works! I’m just kidding, by the way… but if we’re talking about Japanese novels filled with intense negative emotions, he’s the first to come to mind. Then again, the timeline might not fit… I know this show is set in some alternate universe where the Taisho era is extended another 25 years. Anyways, the girl eventually accepts the boys’ offer after talking to their boss, and that’s that. Also, her arranged marriage is put on hold for now so that she can cavort with her harem of bishies. What an understanding father…

This anime’s premise is ridiculous, but Sunday is looking pretty barren in terms of bloggable shows. I might really have to lean on Libra of Nil Admirari if nothing else comes along. If you’re wondering about Shokugeki no Soma, that coverage will appear in tomorrow’s “Everything Else” post instead.

Shokugeki no Soma is totally a cooking show. Totally. Why would you even doubt this? Anyways, this’ll be a short post, since I haven’t quite sorted out which spring anime series will end up here instead of getting their own weekly posts. But hey, I get to talk about food!

Shokugeki no Soma S3 Ep. 13

So in Azami’s latest attempts to weed out students that he consider problematic, everyone will have to undergo the Advancement Exams. If you pass, you move on. If you fail, you get expelled. Seems simple enough. Naturally, everyone’s freaking out about them except Yukihira. Erina later pays him a visit to talk about how Joichiro, Yukihira’s father, taught her to love food. Unfortunately, she no longer knows what food means to her anymore thanks to her father’s abuse. She’s lost her confidence and sense of purpose. The girl’s pouring her heart out to the main character, but he looks bored out of his goddamn mind. Oh well. He then decides to whip up a dish for Erina to taste. He’s determined to get her to say that something he’s made is delicious. He ends up making this:

Looks pretty simple, huh? Not only that, he used cheap eggs that he had bought from a supermarket. Nevertheless, Erina is blown away. Not only does the dish have mind-blowing flavor, she can’t even begin to understand how Yukihira managed to dip an egg in tempura batter, deep fry it, and still keep the yolk raw and runny. The main character then reveals his one simple trick: he froze the egg. And because he froze the egg, this served to intensify the flavor of the yolk. That’s why he used cheap supermarket eggs… higher quality eggs would’ve ended up being too rich. Yeah, I really doubt that. I also think there’s too much rice in that bowl for one small tempura egg, but whatever. It’s not a big deal. Yukihira then confesses that he’s often not 100% certain about a lot of his dishes. Nevertheless, what matters is that he has fun. This thus inspires Erina to regain her love of food, so the very next day, she decides to lead the charge and help Polar Star Dormitory overcome the Advancement Exams. Great… But this whole brouhaha with Azami is going to last forever, isn’t it? It’s going to extend into a fourth and possibly even a fifth season, huh? I feel exhausted just thinking about it.

Anyways, the closest thing to a runny yolk dish that I’ve eaten was when I visited Cotogna, an Italian restaurant in San Francisco. To be specific, it was a pasta dish in which an egg had been cooked inside a raviolo:

But since this episode is all about having fun and experimenting while cooking, I guess I’ll talk about Atelier Crenn. What’s unique about this restaurant is that it’s helmed by Dominique Crenn, one of the few female chefs in America to have two Michelin stars to her name. She serves up modern French cuisine with a certain artistic flair. I won’t include every single thing I’ve ever had at the restaurant, however, because we’d end up going over 30 different dishes. So instead, I’ll highlight some of my favorites:

I’ve always loved the colors in this simple peas and carrot soup.

What you have here is foie gras torchon that had been initially frozen. This allows the chef to shave it in a certain way that gives the foie gras a visual texture that is similar to wood.

In this dish, the chef has gone and turned olive oil into snow. By using maltodextrin, you can turn any oil into powder. Maltodextrin itself shouldn’t have any flavor, and it dissolves quickly on the tongue. As a result, all you’re left with is the flavor of the oil itself. Not only does it add to the forest theme of the entire menu, you don’t have to drizzle liquid oil everywhere.

Of course, there are some techniques that I don’t love. I’ve never really understood foam and its prevalence in modern cooking. But again, I love the use of colors.

To extend the forest theme even further, we have a dish that is simply titled “pear in the snow.” The pear itself is of course a pear-flavored sorbet. It sits on top of powdered cream and cake that has been shredded to look similar to moss.

Desserts are honestly Atelier Crenn’s greatest strengths. Here, have a beat sorbet with white chocolate meringue and various other flavors.

Then you have this theatrical dessert full of aubergine flavor. Basically, it’s aubergine ice cream, aubergine ash, and more. Well, I think that’s about for now. I do wonder, of course, if any of the dishes above would’ve passed Azami’s discerning tastes.

Toji no Miko Ep. 13

So there’s currently no big, evil villain for our girls to tackle. Instead, Yukari’s defeat has resulted in aradama popping up more frequently throughout Japan. As a result, the girls have been running around the country, frantically trying to keep the peace. Trust in Mokusa is low, but it’s not like people have a choice in the matter. Anyways, the biggest concern at the moment is that some mysterious individual has been stealing noro. That’s the primary plot thread for now. There’s a secondary plot thread involving Yukina continuing to abuse Yomi even more, which is ridiculous. I don’t understand why she hasn’t been apprehended. Did everyone just forget about Yukina after Yukari was defeated?

But do you wanna know what’s really stupid? When Yukari had the girls on the ropes in the first half finale, we thought Kanami ended up being possessed by her mother. It turns out this wasn’t the case at all. When Kanami goes to chat with Minato in her sleep — again, I can’t believe that this is a thing — the latter claims that she had done no such thing. Rather, Kanami felt at the time that she needed to become her mother in order to win against Yukari, so she somehow tricked herself into imitating her mother’s swordsmanship and mannerisms perfectly. And that’s how she got the best of Yukari. That’s… that’s ridiculous. Nevertheless, our heroine is apparently super strong now, and for some reason, this is causing friction between her and Sayaka. Yeah, I don’t get it either. I guess we need some kind of conflict between the girls. That’s Toji no Miko for you. It’s terrible, but as long as I still have some free time on Sunday nights, I’ll guess I’ll keep watching it. God, I wonder if anyone else is actually still covering this show.

So far, this show’s alright. Wait, lemme think about it… yeaaaaah, it’s just alright. As you might have already heard, Golden Kamuy is a story about two individuals teaming up in pursuit of a hidden cache of Ainu gold. I honestly have to admit that this opening episode managed to keep my attention from start to finish. It’s also somewhat refreshing to see a protagonist who isn’t quite so wholesome. Sugimoto has his good sides, but he also has a whole lot of bad sides. For now, the action is currently just functional. There’s nothing that impresses me thus far, but we haven’t seen much either. Just an awkward computer-generated image of a bear that doesn’t blend in with the rest of the show’s aesthetics. Hopefully, the show won’t have to rely too much on CGI from here on out. I’d say give it a shot if you don’t mind a little blood. I’ll admit that Geno Studio really let me down last season, but that just means I have no real expectations for this show. It certainly won’t be easy to do any worse than Kokkoku. As a result, I think I’ll probably blog this every Monday until the series comes to an end.

Misc. notes & observations:

— Ooh, trench warfare. Right off the bat, this has the potential to be a very bloody anime.

— I find it a little hard to believe that one guy can take out so many enemy soldiers by himself. From the premise, I thought we were going for realism, but maybe I was mistaken.

— We jump forward in time, and our hero is now panning for gold. He should’ve returned a hero, but he has the blood of a superior officer on his hands. That’s kind of the problem with guys like Sugimoto. He might be fearless on the battlefield, but there’s a fine line between friend and foe.

— Basically, a guy killed a bunch of the Ainu people, stole their gold, then hid it somewhere in Hokkaido. Uh-huh, sure. These sort of legends are a dime a dozen. But here’s the crazy part: the man tattooed a code on his fellow prisoners — a code that would reveal the location of the treasure. He couldn’t escape, but they could… and escape they did. But c’mon, can you honestly believe anything that comes out of a drunkard’s mouth?

— Sugimoto then has a nightmare where he has to relive his best friend Toraji death in the war. The latter left behind a child and a poor widow that is slowly going blind. Sugimoto feels as though he has an obligation to help his best friend’s family. Toraji was also responsible for pushing our hero towards gold panning.

— When he wakes up, he turns to find the drunkard aiming a gun at him. Apparently, the drunkard feels as though he had divulged too much. I guess that’s how you know his silly story about the Ainu gold is true!

— It’s like winning the lottery, though. The chances of you coming through are so very slim, but at the same time, the massive jackpot makes it oh so tantalizing. That’s why the lottery is considered a tax for poor people. You’re just going to hurt yourself by playing. I can’t help but see this hidden stash of Ainu gold the same way. We wouldn’t have a show to watch if Sugimoto was a sensible man.

— Sugimoto isn’t your typical anime protagonist by any means. He’s determined to kill the drunkard, because he doesn’t want to risk the old man coming back to kill him. But shockingly enough, Sugimoto quickly stumbles upon the drunkard’s corpse after a short stroll through the woods. He’s not the only killer out here.

— Pull him out? Dude, that guy is D-E-A-D, dead.

— Yep. Not only that, his stomach is gone.

— Oh look, it’s a bear’s paw print. I guess we have our first antagonist.

— Sugimoto then gets a hunch, so he undresses the drunkard. The victim’s back is tattooed all over. I guess legends do come true. By the way, where did our hero even meet this guy? Why were the two of them just hanging out in the middle of the wilderness?

— All of a sudden, it’s like The Revenant up in here. We’re literally going to watch Sugimoto fight a bear. Unfortunately, I’m not impressed by the CGI.

— Our hero’s gun jams, and he’s quickly about to be very mortal. But of nowhere, this relatively small arrow strikes the bear in the chest and the animal goes down. Wait, really?

— And now, we get to meet the heroine of the story. She’s an Ainu girl if you didn’t already know.

— The girl reveals that the arrow had been tipped with poison, but even so, I’m amazed that it worked its magic so quickly.

— She then asks about the dead man, and Sugimoto tells her that the bear had eaten him. She then cuts open the bear to find an empty stomach. Whoever ate the drunkard’s stomach, it wasn’t this bear. Instead, it was eaten by a “matakarip,” which is apparently a bear that didn’t hibernate. As a result, it’s incredibly aggressive. Huh. The more you know.

— In fact, the girl advises Sugimoto to leave the dead body behind, because he wouldn’t want a bear to chase after him. Obviously, our hero won’t give up his meal ticket.

— How old is this girl? She looks small, but she speaks very confidently.

— And just like that, Sugimoto decides to let her in on his little treasure hunt. I’m surprised. I thought he’d keep it a secret for a little longer. But I guess he doesn’t have a choice; he needs her help.

— OH NO THE POOR BEAR CUB

— YOU MONSTER

— Oh yeah, does his best friend’s widow even knows that he’s trying to help her? Does she want him to help her?

— According to the girl, one of the Ainu that was slain for the gold was her very own father. God, what a coincidence.

— The girl then takes a closer look at the tattoos on the victim’s body, and quickly realizes that you need to skin the man to make complete sense of it. I’m starting to wonder if the man behind the tattoos is perhaps still alive. I mean, why would he do this if he had no chance of escaping from prison?

— She insists that the bear will have a taste for human flesh and human flesh only. Wild.

— After gathering more wood for their fire, the guy returns to find the evil matakarip just chilling at their camp. Not only that, the bear instantly swipes at the campfire and puts it out. Yo, what the fuck is this bear? Not only is it sneaky, it’s apparently quite smart for its species.

— Why did he think punching a bear would work?

— This part where the girl gets knocked back by the rampaging bear doesn’t look so good in motion. Hell, it doesn’t look very good in a screenshot either. She moves as if her body has no weight.

— When it turns to charge at her, a wolf comes out of nowhere to defend her. That’s convenient. This gives Sugimoto an opening to take aim with his rifle to try and shoot the bear in the heart.

— The behemoth then charges and falls on top of Sugimoto’s bayonet:

While this causes the blade to pierce the animal right through the heart, it also ends up falling on top of him as well. Now, since this is a particularly giant bear, I would have to guess that it’s around a 1,000 lbs (if not more). I find it a little hard to believe that any man could survive that… but whatever. Considering how this is a story about a legendary cache of Ainu gold, I guess I should brace myself for some tall feats.

— Finally, the two finally introduce themselves to each other. The girl’s name is Asirpa.

— Afterwards, Sugimoto wants to team up with Asirpa, and he even generously offers her the lion’s share of the gold should they ever find it. He seems to really just want to help his best friend’s widow.

— Oh good, a gall bladder. I’ll gladly hold onto that.

— Asirpa doesn’t want to split the evil bear with Sugimoto, because it had eaten a person. But she’ll gladly take the mother bear’s corpse for herself… even though it was going to kill Sugimoto if she hadn’t intervened. I guess I don’t really see much significance in this distinction. Meanwhile, Sugimoto grins to himself at the prospect of going to hell. What a bunch of weirdos.

— Afterwards, he reasons that the man who killed the girl’s father must still be alive in prison. After all, the government won’t kill him until the gold has been found. As a result, finding the gold is a way for Asirpa to indirectly kill the man. She doesn’t want to kill anyone, but hey… look at this fancy loophole. Don’t you wanna hop into this loophole? It looks mighty comforting! Again, I don’t think the distinction is that significant. Still, the guy promises her that he’ll do all of the dirty work. She’ll just have to give him her super useful Ainu knowledge.

— In the after credits scene, a hooded figure comes across the drunkard’s empty bottle from earlier in the episode. Oooh, our first human antagonist.

Well, if Aoi wants to open an eatery, she’ll need to drum up some hype for the grand opening. Let’s see how she goes about doing just that. 

— I honestly kinda dig the OP. It’s by no means original, but I enjoy the mix of old and new. I also like the flute. Fun fact: the singer is also the heroine of the show.

— At Aoi’s grandfather’s funeral, people badmouthed him but in a teasing way. I guess he was a complicated man — neither a saint nor a devil. Then again, if it’s true that he offered his own granddaughter up as collateral, maybe he was a devil after all.

— Still, Aoi has adapted to her predicament real quick. Maybe a little too quick. If it were me, I’d be raging. What about my life back in the human world? Who’s going to pay my rent? Who’s going to feed my cat? How can she be so calm? No, you can’t just hand-wave it off with cooking.

— Aoi tells Ginji, the nine-tailed fox, that she can’t simply run an eatery, and she’s right. Yeah, she cooks good food. But you also need to be a boss. You need to hand-pick a bunch of competent chefs as well as a solid front-of-house team. You need to have business sense. Let’s assume she doesn’t have to worry about getting a liquor license or meeting safety regulations. Even then, she still has to advertise and market her restaurant. She has to develop relationships with her purveyors. She needs to plan out a menu that retains an authentic feel without being too complicated. It’s not as easy as it looks, man. There’s a reason why a good percentage of restaurants close up shop after just one year. Not only that, this location is apparently cursed or something.

— I’m an Asian-American who’s been eating with chopsticks for most of my life, and you know what? I still hate eating rice without a spoon.

— Oh yeah, one more thing about opening a restaurant: just because you like to cook, it doesn’t automatically mean that you’ll also like to cook in a restaurant. I read an interesting article a while back about this very topic. Basically, an amateur home cook decided to risk his office job to open up a restaurant without adequate research. To be fair, this guy was definitely short-sighted, and not everyone will make his mistakes, but still, it’s a very interesting read. And I know, I know — Aoi won’t fail because this is a feelgood anime at the end of the day. Plus, it’s just a cartoon. Nevertheless, I think it’s worthwhile to keep things in perspective.

— Anyways, Aoi returns to the inn to find that a huge fight has broken out. Why? The tengu found the food to be boring, so they got drunk and started flipping tables. How nice. But look, they want good food, and Aoi apparently cooks good food! It’s like a marriage made in heaven! I mean, what a golden opportunity for her to show off her skills and generate hype for her soon-to-open eatery!

— Kasuga, the tanuki girl, seems nice, at least.

— Odanna eventually shows up and starts insulting Aoi for being curious about the situation. He threatens to eat her or feed her to the tengu if she doesn’t leave right away. Wow, what a peach. And the worst part? The show’s going to do its darndest over the next two seasons to convince us that he’s a worthwhile partner. Naturally, the poor girl runs off in frustration.

— Later that night, she finds an unconscious old man outside the empty eatery. I bet it’s the tengu elder. I bet she’s going to feed him!

— All I know about the tengu is that they have high AGI in the Shin Megami Tensei games. Honestly, that’s also true for pretty much the vast majority of Japanese folklore and mythology.

— She offers him some food, but I’m thinking that those dishes have got to be cold by now, aren’t they? They’ve just been sitting there on the counter, covered by some cloth. That’s also not very hygienic. But since it’s fiction, the food is perfectly fine for eating. It’s also super delicious. But y’know what? How funny would it be if this ends up being a better cooking anime than Shokugeki no Soma?

— The old man was apparently close to Aoi’s grandfather.

— Why would you fight over food? Like shit, the more I learn about the hidden realm, the more immature these ayakashi appear to be. And what’s ironic is how they like to look down on Aoi for being just a human.

— The old man eventually introduces himself as Matsuba, and he proceeds to tell Aoi a thing or two about her grandfather. Shiro had a lot of friends here, but he also had a lot of haters as well. And when they hate you in the hidden realm, it also means they want to kill you! Yay! Aoi just chuckles in response. LULZ that’s my grandfather for ya!

— Shiro also saved Matsuba’s life. Look at this clumsy idiot. Aoi’s grandfather jumped into the river to save the old man, but he followed this up by demanding a reward. So yeah, Shiro was simultaneously good and scummy. It’s amazing that he had enough heart to adopt Aoi. But then again, he did use her as collateral.

— That green tea is very green.

— Hey, some of us can!

— And just like that, he takes off: “I have to go now. My planet needs me. (Note: Matsuba died on the way back to his home planet.)”

— It’s now apparently Aoi’s turn to praise her grandfather. C’mon, he saddled you with a giant debt!

— Aoi: “It wasn’t nice to offer your granddaughter as collateral for your debt, though.”

— Are there really faucets shaped like this in Japan?

— The next day, Ginji abruptly drags Aoi to the inn where she finds the inn’s staff as well as the tengu waiting for her. Matsuba then runs up and thanks her profusely for feeding him. He then gives her some pot a very treasured fan that should’ve gone to Shiro. So, uh, what does it do?

— Dude, you have wings.

— The old man then claims that the tengu would gladly pay off Aoi’s debt… if she marries one of his sons. Yeeeeeah, how ’bout no.

— The nine-tailed fox kneels before Matsuba, apologizes, then says that Aoi can’t leave. After all, she is engaged to Odanna. The old man correctly points out, however, that they’re not treating her very well here. Just look at Odanna stewing in all his salt.

— But of course, the girl turns Matsuba down, because her grandfather’s debt is also hers. She’ll do everything she can to correct his mistakes. Dumb. Just dumb.

— Also, she totally promised that manchild ogre over there that she’d pay off the debt.

— Aoi then tries to reject the treasured fan too! Man, these anime heroines are so lame.

— Matsuba alludes to some bad blood between Shiro and Odanna, but because this is a two-cour series, we’ll probably have to sit tight if we wanna know what happened between them.

— Then right before he leaves, the old man encourages her to open up that eatery. The inn’s staff, however, immediately voices their objection.

— Afterwards, Aoi has made her decision, so she asks Odanna directly for permission. For some reason, he drags her onto an airship before finally giving his okay with a smile. Um… yeah. Moody bishies are so exhausting.

Last season, I looked forward to Tuesdays. After all, I had the pleasure of watching and covering A Place Further Than The Universe. This season? Eh, not so much. 

3D Kanojo Real Girlfriend Ep. 2: Terrible hero, terrible animation

I initially planned on doing an in-depth coverage of this show, but the more I watched, the more hopeless that prospect became. Hikari is just a horrible, horrible person. Iroha wants to know if he has any plans for an upcoming Sunday, and as it turns out, he does! He’s going to wait in line all day to buy a new game. What a winner. Well, Sunday rolls around, and he happens to see his girlfriend out in public with another guy. So what does Hikari do? He instantly jumps to the conclusion that Iroha is two-timing him. How nice.

Sure, I get it — the protagonist is both young and socially awkward. Worst of all, he’s insecure. He doesn’t know how to communicate, and he can’t understand why a girl like Iroha would wanna date an otaku like him. But it doesn’t help his case when he spouts shit like, “By the way, if this is really your first time, you have to value yourself more.” What’s going on, you ask? Because he doesn’t think that their relationship is serious, Iroha offers to sleep with him. Naturally, she’s a virgin. In other words, Hikari thinks she should be more protective of her chastity simply because she’s a virgin. Hear that, girls? Sex devalues you!

The guy eventually storms off, because he’s not ready to have sex. In fact, he claims that he wants to do some research on it. Nevertheless, he can’t help but bitch as he leaves his girlfriend behind: “I just… wanted to talk properly.” Are you kidding me, my guy? She’s right there. If you wanna talk to her, she’s right there. I understand that he has a hard time with communication, but you can’t complain about it when the golden opportunity is served up to you in a platter! He follows this up by doing the same stupid shit that all loser heroes do in these romance anime: he tells his supposed rival — y’know, the guy Iroha was with on Sunday — to take good care of his girlfriend, ’cause she’d be better off without him.

Up until that point, I had been taking my usual notes on the show — the notes I take whenever I watch any show. I didn’t quite ragequit the anime, but I definitely just trashed my notes completely. Fuck it. 3D Kanojo Real Girl doesn’t deserve its own post every week. I mean, just look at this show’s shoddy animation. It’s like something from ten years ago. I know Hoods Entertainment aren’t amateurs. I know they can draw high school girls breastfeeding some edgy asshole, so don’t you go and tell me now that some loser romance series eight years later is suddenly too difficult to animate! Anyways, I’m just going to create a whole new feature to cover all these uninspired Tuesday anime.

Legend of the Galactic Heroes – Die Neue These Ep. 2: Another genius pretty boy

What sucks is that this show isn’t even bad. It’s just… unnecessary. I thought that after the first episode we’d maybe get to see a new twist on the original story, but no, this is really just a remake. Why, though? And coincidentally enough, half of this week’s episode ends up covering a good chunk of last week’s episode. The good news is that we’re seeing things from the other side, i.e. from Yang Wen-li’s perspective. The bad news? His perspective is a whole lot like Reinhard’s! He, too, is a brilliant tactician. But he, too, is held back by short-sighted idiots. Yang pretty much predicted most of Reinhard’s moves. After all, it’s just pure logic hurr hurr hurr. Unfortunately, he can’t convince Commander Paetta that he knows what’s best for the Alliance. As a result, both the 4th and 6th fleets have been defeated, and the 2nd is about to go down with them. But as soon as Yang takes over, he instantly lures Reinhard into a battle of attrition, which, by the way, is fittingly shaped like a donut. In the end, our blond count has no choice but to grudgingly pull out. After all, he’s already fucked both the 4th and 6th fleet; he’s already won the battle. This works out for both sides, because Yang also gets to enjoy his moral victory.

Like I said, the show’s fine… it’s just hard to get excited about a retread.

Tokyo Ghoul:re Ep. 2: That awkward moment when you bump into your ex

Last week’s episode ended with Haise unleashing his ghoul side, so I thought we’d just pick up where we had left off. But no, he quickly loses to Orochi. So what does he do? He breaks his finger and unleashes his ghoul side again. I thought we just did this. This time, however, it works…? Not only that, Orochi’s mask falls off and reveals Nishio’s face underneath. He even refers to Haise  as Kaneki… gee, I dunno guys… do you really think Haise and Ken are the same person?! Anyways, Haise goes nuts, Nishio escapes, then a bunch of boring nonsense follows. Let’s just skip ahead to Haise’s one-on-one with Arima Kisho.

For some reason, they’re just fighting in the middle of a large conference room. There’s no leadup to this at all. They’re just fuck-fighting. But it’s also a therapy session as Haise talks about his recent harrowing experience:

Man, I dunno, do you really think Haise and Kaneki are the same person? Haise then confesses that although he has no recollection of the first twenty years of his life, he’s still currently happy. Eh, I guess I can believe that. But then the guy continues: “If my past self returns, I feel like everything I’ve experienced the last two years will disappear.” Sure, sure, but how about the fact that your first twenty years have already disappeared? Arima naturally asks, “Don’t you want to see your previous family or friends?” Haise responds with, “I already have a family.” So your old family should suffer! What a dumb reason to want to stay an amnesiac. It’s interesting, though. If Haise had delivered these lines with more nuance, the subtext of the scene would change completely. For instance, if he had seemed remotely unsure of himself at all, we’d then naturally wonder if perhaps he’s just deluding himself. Ken was never really all that confident in himself either. But in reality, I can’t tell if the show wants us to mock Haise’s naivete or not.

The anime starts flashing each member of Haise’s team for us to see as if this means anything to us. After all, this is only my second episode with Quinx. No emotional connection has been established between the audience and this team, and as a result, the conversation between Haise and Arima feels hollow. All we can do is shake our heads at the hero. But is this perhaps what the show wants us to do? Maybe. Because near the end of the episode, Haise is out with his team when he suddenly smells delicious coffee. This lures him into Touka’s new coffee shop. Yes, the Touka. She is pretty much the majority of his old family that he supposedly no longer wants to return to because he has his new family. And of course, drinking her coffee suddenly renders him emotional and nostalgic. He can’t quite remember who she is, but she nevertheless captivates him with her beauty… almost the same way Rize did. So now I’m like this makes him look even worse back in that meeting with Arima.

More stuff happens in this week’s episode, but I don’t care to detail them. Let’s admit it… we’re only here for Ken/Haise. Who gives a fuck about Urie?

Anyways, I guess this is what I’ll do to fill the gap left behind by A Place Further Than the Universe. I’ll just cover three bad to middling shows instead.