It’s been years since I touched Steins;Gate, but I still remember a few crucial details about its story. Basically, if Rintaro failed to rescue Kurisu, then World War III would break out. And this is the World War to end all wars. This is the World War that will pretty much devastate the entire planet. So yeah, you kinda want to prevent that. Saving Kurisu is great and all, but saving humanity sounds a teensy, tiny bit more important if you ask me! So near the end of the penultimate episode, Mayuri slaps some sense into her best friend. It’s not just about never giving up… it’s also the fact that billions and billions of lives is depending on him. As a result, he regains his spirit, sees the all-important scrambled video, then tries once more to save not just his girl but the entire world as well. Finally, after such a long struggle, we eventually get our True End. Cool? Cool. Now… what if the protagonist sucks? What if the guy just gives up? Bam, Steins;Gate 0.

In this alternate timeline, Rintaro couldn’t save Kurisu. In fact, he was left broken by his failure. As a result, he’s been trying to live a normal college life. Trying is the operative word. He’s joined the tennis club — yeah, tennis — he’s gone on group dates (it’s goukun, but I always misspell it as gokkun which is apparently a totally different thing), so on and so forth. Much to Suzuha’s chagrin, he never drops by his laboratory anymore. Y’see, she still wants to save the world. Unfortunately, the savior has been resorting to hypnotherapy just to keep his mind at peace. It’s that bad, I guess. I mean, you can definitely tell just from Rintaro’s personality alone. Like I said, I don’t remember much about the original series anymore, but I remember him having a much more boisterous personality than the one I’m seeing here. No longer is he the mad scientist. Instead, you just have a morose guy dressed from head to toe in nearly all black. Hell, he’s even medicating himself hard. If this is what normal is, then normal sucks.

This Rintaro is honestly kinda pathetic. He’s pathetic and full of denial. Sure, sure, this Rintaro has been left broken and scarred by his experiences. He can’t mentally endure the thought of jumping through time again and again. And before we continue any further, yes, I saw “23 β.” I know that he eventually decides to fight for the future again. But for now, let’s just talk about Rintaro as he is currently. Dude, 5.7 billion people are going to die. That’s what gets me. Kurisu is fine, I guess. I don’t have anything against her. Honestly, if I had to pick one of these girls, I’d waifu the shit out of her before anyone else. Especially before Mayuri, a.k.a. the worst girl. But at the end of the day, I don’t really care too much about Kurisu. It’s the 5.7 billion people, man. That’s so nuts. It’s like that dumb quote from Spiderman: “With great powers comes great something something…” I just can’t wrap my head around abandoning the world to annihilation no matter how traumatized I am. I just can’t.

Of course, this Mayuri doesn’t help. In “23 β,” she defended him from Suzuha, and she continues to baby him here. Mayuri practically spoils Rintaro. He doesn’t have anyone to give him any sort of tough love. And y’know, I don’t want to trivialize mental trauma. I certainly don’t believe that tough love can fix everyone right up. But there has to be a limit to that, right? When the fate of the entire world hangs in the balance, you gotta stop treating the so-called hero with kid gloves. But even though Suzuha wants to change Rintaro’s mind, she doesn’t even raise her voice. Her face looks angry, but she has little to say except that she won’t give up. 5.7 billion people! I keep harping on it, but it’s so incredibly selfish to just give up. When Rintaro starts freaking out and breaking down on the roof, it’s the only time when he might feel like his old self. Unfortunately, it’s been horribly warped with cynicism and depression: “Humans like us can’t tamper with the province of God!” But if God does exist, then you let him worry about that. You gotta do what you do and let God sort it out later.

Well, if none of his friends are going to do it, fate will. Fate will drag Rintaro kicking and screaming into heroism even if he doesn’t want to. When the guy attends a seminar on artificial intelligence at Kurisu’s university, he’s shocked to find out that a team of researchers has continued her work on memories and how they are stored within the brain. They’ve even gone and created an AI that they’ve dubbed as simply Amadeus. More importantly, this AI has a heart, because it has been built with authentic human memories. Well, even if you haven’t seen “23 β,” it doesn’t take a genius to guess whose memories it has. Or maybe you read the show’s synopsis… either way, remember Kurisu? She’s back! But in pog form AI form! I was hoping to see the girl’s image show up on the big screen as the AI (like in “23 β”), but all we get is the ugly Amadeus logo. I hope nobody paid for that…

Anyways, the first episode is a mixed bag. The stuff with Rintaro, Kurisu, and y’know, the main story is fine. It doesn’t blow me away, but it’s functional. It sets up the rest of the story. All of the other nonsense, however, is cringy. Like meeting Faris at the cafe, or Yuki doing a fashion show at the lab. Just gimme a break with that shit, man. Unfortunately, this is a 2-cour series, so I’m certain that the show will have plenty of time to shove fanservice up our ass. Speaking of which, were the girls’ bust sizes always this big? Or am I just imagining thing? Also, why does Maho have to be so short? Is it just to fill some sort of loli quota? Gosh, we have a trap, a maid/catgirl, a time traveler, so on and so forth… hell, even the canon waifu can double as our AI waifu! But do we have a loli? Anyways, I don’t think I have much else to blog on Wednesdays. I guess I’ll just have to cover Steins;Gate 0. I should brace myself though, because I know how popular this series is.

Junk Dog may have lost the battle, but he won a will to live… as well as a new name. 

— It looks like these “1080p” feeds on Crunchyroll continue to be nothing but lies.

— Gansaku, Junk Dog’s promoter, wants him to surrender as soon as he starts losing. That’s probably wise, but you gotta wonder if he actually cares about the protagonist. Maybe Gansaku just doesn’t want to see his meal ticket kill himself out of pride.

— We all know how this is supposed to go, right? There’s no way our underdog — our Junk Dog — can stand a chance against the champion. And right off the bat, Yuri is dodging every single punch that comes his way.

— It’s worth nothing that these fighters’ Gears are only attached to their upper bodies. They will still need to move their feet on their own. You still need to be agile. You still need to position yourself absolutely correctly.

— Yuri takes one jab and instantly drives Junk Dog back. Our hero’s right cheek also starts bleeding? On the one hand, I like that Yuri is efficient and economical. It’s predictable, but it makes perfect sense. He’s too skilled to just fight wildly like Junk Dog. On the other hand, how the hell did his jab manage to cut Junk Dog like that? Yes, you get bruised in the ring, but you don’t get finely cut as if your opponent is wielding a knife. That’s a bit too anime for my tastes.

— But of course, Junk Dog smiles at the fact that his life is on the line. Stupid or just psychotic? Hell, why not both? At one point, Junk Dog nearly catches Yuri off-guard, but he’s just outclassed through and through. Nevertheless, he’s having the time of his life.

— Even with just one hand, Yuri is winning easily. This is not a good look for Junk Dog. I mean, Yuri literally becomes a one-trick-pony with just one hand, but the protagonist still can’t keep up.

— The OP doesn’t do it for me, but that’s fine. I’ve never cared much about them anyway. Yes, I’m one of those dirty OP skippers.

— He lands a punch and the crowd goes wild?! No, he almost lands a punch. Yuri blocked it with his right hand, though. Dude, I’m getting blue balls over here.

— I wonder… do weight classes even matter in Megalo Boxing?

— Unfortunately, one right hook is all Yuri needs. Our boy didn’t even last a round.

— Junk Dog eventually gets up to talk more shit… but he does it after the match has already been called. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Yuri by any means. But c’mon, it looks pretty pathetic to mouth off when you just got your ass handed to you.

— “YOU COULDN’T EVEN KILL ME.” This guy…

— I can’t disagree with Yuri. Why would he waste his time any further here? Junk Dog acts tough, but he doesn’t act smart. More than that, he has a death wish. Our protagonist has a long way to go before he’s a hero. I mean, it’s a bit refreshing that he’s not just cool and powerful right off the bat. But at the same time, he’s cowardly and suicidal. He talks big, but he can’t back it up. No, contrary to what you might think, getting into the ring with the champion is not backing it up. Backing it up is actually putting in the hard work to stand toe-to-toe with the champion. Right now, Junk Dog just wants to die. His life is so miserable that he’s trying to find every which way to self-destruct. It’s like when you want to break up with your SO, but you’re too chickenshit to do it. As a result, you pick fights to make them break up with you instead. That’s how Junk Dog is approaching his life. He’s just too scared to do it himself.

— Not surprisingly, the guy goes on yet another reckless ride on his motorcycle that night. At some point, he almost flies off the edge of a cliff. Look, this isn’t accidental. This is a guy who wants to die, but just doesn’t have the balls to pull the trigger.

— Luckily, Yuri may have beaten some sense into our stray dog. The guy admits that he can’t go back to the underground boxing ring. He can’t bring himself to end his life, but at the same time, fighting amateurs doesn’t give him a high anymore. He needs the thrill of facing a real opponent. Once you go Yuri, you just can’t go back.

— Elsewhere, Yukiko tears into Yuri. Eh, I’m sure he expected this.

— It’s like a dad forbidding his daughter from seeing that wild kid on the wrong side of the tracks, though: “I understand. I’ll never see him again.”

— You’d think Yuri would have more leverage if the fate of Yukiko’s damn company rests solely on his ability to punch people, but he’s surprisingly passive around her. Judging by the way she touches his arm tenderly, I wonder if these two have a deeper relationship. Maybe they’ll have a romance subplot.

— Ah, the shitty resolution is killing me. These scenes look terrible. Such wasted potential. I know I can probably get a better image whenever the blu-rays come out, but those are exorbitantly expensive.

— I’m digging the hip hop track.

— Meal ticket, it is.

— Junk Dog tells Gansaku that he now wants to enter Megalonia. I hope our hero has a plan, though. Is he going to upgrade his Gear? How will he prepare for the upcoming fights? What’s his training regimen? Is he going to watch film and study his opponents?

— Of course, his promoter tries to discourage him, but for all the wrong reasons. Gansaku doesn’t care about Junk Dog, and he has no obligation to. Junk Dog eventually realizes this, so he screws his promoter over by defeating his opponent in one punch. The match is supposed to last five rounds. Whoops.

— Who doesn’t like intimidating soup metaphors? Better than Campbell!

— The big bad boss wants Gansaku’s remaining eye as payback for screwing up the fixed match. As a last ditch effort, the latter claims that he’ll pay back all his debts and more when Junk Dog wins Megalonia. Welp, there’s no getting out of it now.

— Junk Dog promises Gansaku that he won’t lose again. But of course, he still has to put in the work. At his current level, he’s not even close to Yuri. Junk Dog is barely held together by his ego and his ego alone.

— Later that night, Junk Dog and Gansaku get a little assistance from the boss. Using a little techno know-how, Junk Dog now has a fake ID and a new name… bet you can’t guess what he ends up picking for himself: Joe. Yeah, he looks like a good Joe. Now all he needs is a giant, holographic naked girlfriend.

— But on a serious note, this series really doesn’t need a tacked-on romance, and this is coming from a guy who likes romance in his stories. I don’t mind one between Yuri and Yukiko, but I just find it hard to imagine Junk Dog getting into a relationship with anyone right now. He’s too unstable.

One good light-hearted romance… just one. That’s all I’m asking for. 3D Kanojo Real Girl already bombed hard, and Tada-kun wa Koi wo Shinai isn’t looking hot. This is my most desperate hour. Help me, Wotakoi. You’re my only hope! I already have one good romance, actually: Darling in the FranXX. Sure, sure… laugh all you want. I don’t care; I’m still going to enjoy the show. The only problem is that it’s not really a feelgood anime… not right now, anyways. As a result, I need at least one of these light-hearted romances to step up and deliver the goods. Something that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, but at the same time, it won’t compel me to write 2,000+ words every week either. Will it be Wotakoi? We’ll see, I guess.

The first episode is alright. Nothing too compelling, and at the moment, the main character Narumi is a bit annoying. Y’see, she’s a bit of a hypocrite. She’s a full-blown fujoshi, but she swears she’d never date a big ol’ nerd like herself. Nevertheless, she’s hellbent on finding out if her cool senpai is also a giant nerd as well (spoiler: she is). Narumi quickly finds out, however, that she has a lot of growing up to do. What I mean by this is that she’s an adult now, and adults shouldn’t care about nonsense like whether or not you’re an otaku. She acts like it’d be the death of her if her “dirty secret” ever gets out, but the truth is, she just had bad luck. Y’see, she got dumped by her last boyfriend because he didn’t want to date a yaoi fangirl. Unfortunately, Narumi learned the wrong lesson from her failed relationship. It’s not that being an otaku is bad. Rather, it’s that she dated an asshole.

Of course, we already know how this show is going to go. The synopsis spells it right out for us: Narumi is going to end up with her childhood friend Hirotaka, and he’s a huge otaku himself. As a result, she’s going to have to get over her silly insecurities real quick. For now, however, the main love interest is a bit of a jerk. He’s always his glued to his Switch, and he barely emotes whenever he speaks. Hirotaka is as warm as a block of ice. Still, Narumi feels as though he’s one of her few otaku friends, so she likes to complain to him. So in the end, he woos her with a nerd’s love letter: “If it was me, I’d collect materials and level up with you whenever you want. If you had to work overtime, I’d wait for you.” Shit dude… how can a girl say no to that?

So Hirotaka goes on a spiel and asks her out. He’s been thinking about it for a while now, and he finally decides to go out on a limb and ask her out. That’s commendable, I guess. The problem, however, is that I’m sorely disappointed by her reaction. She comically accepts him as her boyfriend, then she narrates, “Thus, the two otaku started dating.” Dude, c’mon. That’s such a weak way to end the episode. They just shook hands on it? Is this dating or a business transaction? Did they at least embrace each other? Hold hands? Kiss? They’re both in their mid-twenties, after all. But at the end of the day, you can see that this post is quite long. It certainly looks as though this might be a show where I’ll have a lot to say, so I’ll blog it every Thursday night (assuming the episodes come out on time). I mean, it can’t do any worse than 3D Kanojo Real Girl.

Misc. notes & observations:

— So far, I’m not impressed with the animation.

— Our heroine is off to a great start. She wakes up and finds out that her alarm never went off. Worst of all, she’s now late for work. just need to find a job where people don’t care if you’re late. I can roll in at 10am if I wanted to.

— Man, I’m surprised how bad this looks. This is by A-1 Pictures? Seriously? I mean, they’re not KyoAni or anything, but they’re better than this.

— Plus, I just spent a minute watching a girl run through generic locations.

— This guy is going to be Narumi’s future boyfriend? Ew, don’t date smokers. Seriously, the otaku thing isn’t a problem at all, but I could never date a smoker. It’s always funny how girls will ask me if I have a problem with short hair, piercings, or tattoos. My answer is always no; none of those things bother me. In fact, I prefer short hair on girls. But if you smoke? Nope.

— The OP is cute, but the song does nothing for me.

— Still, it’s nice to get a love story between adults and not high school students.

— Narumi is super impressed by her coworker: “Ms. Koyanagi looks like she’s good at her job.” Really? You can tell just from that?

— The girl starts marveling over Hanako’s breasts, but they don’t look so impressive from this angle. The animation quality screws us again!

— Oh come on! What is this? Is A-1 Pictures playing a prank on me?

— Hanako kinda gets a sly look on her face when she starts asking Narumi about her previous job. Hm.

— So our heroine bumps into her future love interest, and she recognizes him even though they haven’t seen each other since middle school. Considering their cushy office jobs, I have to assume that they both went college. As a result, you gotta think it’s been almost a decade, and yet she still recognizes him, huh? Interesting. I don’t know if I’d even recognize my best friend from high school, much less middle school. Anyways, Hirotaka looks too cool to care. We know he’s supposed to be an otaku, though… so maybe it’s just an act.

— Right off the bat, she invites him to dinner. He agrees… but then he goes and outs her in front of their coworkers! Oh no! Not… being… a fan of anime… ’cause that’s embarrassing? Like I alluded to in the spring anime preview post, in this day and age, does anyone really give a shit anymore if you’re an otaku? It’s 2018, man. One of my coworkers literally cosplayed as 2B recently. This shit is normalized now.

— This is new, though. I’ve never seen an adult play games openly at a sit-down restaurant. C’mon, the food is getting cold.

— Apparently, Narumi was dumped her last boyfriend because she’s an otaku. In fact, she quit her last job because they worked together. Eh, so she found one bad egg out of a dozen. Whatever. You definitely don’t want to shit where you eat, though. This is why you don’t date coworkers. Still, I’ll throw her a bone and commend her for her impressive chugging skills.

— Narumi swears she’s going to hide her otaku-ness from her next boyfriend. It’s genius! Not what she just said, but the fact that if you date an otaku, you won’t have to hide anything!

— Tch, she’s one of those people.

— Narumi: “Making you my boyfriend would be such a waste. You’re one of my good otaku friends.” First, that doesn’t even make sense. Second, they just met up again. They’re friends already?

— I love how it’s 2018, and they still list the character’s blood type. Oh Asia… I say Asia, ’cause I know South Korea still cares about that nonsense, too. Then again, one of my coworkers likes to read her horoscope every morning.

— Dude, it’s an ad. She’s not going to change.

— It’s the “Spot the Main Character” game!

— Playing your Switch at work is brave, but I guess that’s how hardcore he is. I’d do it if I had any games worth playing on that damn console. Maybe when Octopath Traveler comes out.

— Only in anime do I ever see girls obsess over how cool another girl is.

— It turns out Hanako is a big nerdo herself. I still keep picturing Hanako from Persona 4 whenever I hear her name, though.

— Two weeks later, this guy is still wearing the same ugly tie. Also, the storyboarding is really bad here. The background is literally just blank, horribly draw walls and doors. The perspective is all messed up too.

— Hirotaka starts reminiscing about his and Narumi’s younger days, but I thought childhood friends never win.

— Hirotaka: “You’re so slow at typing. Are you sure you’re an otaku.” He’s being a jerk, but he’s not wrong.

— Looks like Monster Hunter.

— Narumi: “And everyone I fall in love with is a jerk.” Well, Hirotaka would fit right in.

— The couple that farms rare mats together is the couple that stays together. It’s even better if your girlfriend can write scripts to bot these games… but shh, that’s unethical.

— The ED is better than the OP.

So if you wear this retainer-like thing, you can enslave others? Well, it’s not that simple. First, you have to convince your potential victim to wear one too. Good luck with that. I mean, why would I ever do that? But of course, Dorei-ku is purely fiction, so its idiotic characters are all jumping at the chance to put themselves at great risk. If you’ve ever heard of this device, why would you take the risk? No slave is worth the danger of becoming one yourself. But even if you’ve never heard of the device, I don’t know where the thing has been or what it can do! I’m not just gonna stick it in my mouth! But I digress. Let’s continue. Once you’ve managed to get your potential victim to wear the device, you then have to beat them in a duel. It can be any sort of duel. You can even downright trick them if you want.

One of the major subplots in this episode involves a woman getting revenge on her rapist. Yes, it’s that kind of show. She first met him on the internet, but he turned out to be a creep in real life. And of course, he’s fat and ugly. Hell, he even wears one of those goddamn fedoras (well, it might be a trillby). To get her revenge, the woman buys two SCMs (they currently cost 6,000,000 yen each, apparently), tracks her rapist down, convinces him to wear one, then beats him at pachinko. Whoever has more pachinko balls at the end of the hour wins. But wait, isn’t pachinko just pure chance?! Well, she never said they had to start from zero. It turns out she’s been playing all day, so her ball count crushes his easily. As a result, the guy accepts his loss and becomes her slave. Unfortunately, she doesn’t make him confess his crime to the police. She just becomes evil instead.

Internally, he doesn’t understand why he’s obeying her, but he obeys her nevertheless: “Huh? Something happened… What happened? My body moved on its own…” First, that’s messed up. Imagine losing control of your body and being aware of it. But of course, that’s what slavery is all about. The loss of autonomy is what makes slavery so heinous. I still have a problem with this, though. It is eventually explained to us that the slave will always obey their master because they feel an overwhelming sense of obligation. But if you feel obligated to obey, you would never have the sort of internal dialogue that we just saw. The feeling of obligation is not like happiness or sadness. I don’t just feel it. I also need internal justification for why I feel a certain obligation… at least that’s what I think. I mean, I could be wrong. I’m not a psychiatrist by any means. I’m just saying…

Think about it another way… he feels obligated to obey her because he lost. Later, we get to see bits and parts of the device’s manual, and it explains that the SCM works by amplifying your sense of obligation. Amplifies. That means it can’t simply give you a sense of obligation. You must already have some sense of obligation lingering within you. The device can only add to what you already have. So why would you feel any sort of obligation at all if someone tricks you? I’d just be like, “Fuck you, you cheated. I feel obligated to kick your ass now.” I can’t feel any sort of obligation if the rules of the game are unfair to begin with. And if the device works as intended by amplifying my sense of obligation, then… well, a fight would break out, right? Yeah, yeah, it’s just fiction. Yeah, yeah, I just gotta suspend my disbelief. I’ve heard it all before.

Anyways, Eia is the heroine of our story. For some reason, she first appears to us naked… in a body of water. She vaguely talks about her sense of identity or lack thereof. To make a long story short, she eventually gets in contact with her best friend’s (what’s up with her eyes?) ex-boyfriend. Yuuga instantly senses her smarts and courage through one quick game, so he decides to put his trust in her. He’s also acquired a pair of SCMs, but he’s not in this to get revenge. No, he wants to put himself at risk. He wants the thrill of putting everything on the line. It doesn’t even sound like Yuuga cares about enslaving others. He just wants to test his limits. That sounds so insanely stupid to me, but I’m particularly risk-averse. I just can’t wrap my mind around making such a bet. You win and you get what? Some endorphins that wear away quickly? Oh boy. On the other hand, if you lose, you get fucked. But somehow, this appeals to Eia so she agrees to be his partner. She’s always wanted to find her real self, and what better way than to test her own limits?

What does being his partner entail? Well, let’s say Yuuga loses. He doesn’t intend to lose, but he can’t deny that it’s also a real possibility. As a result, he needs insurance. He needs someone who will try and free him from slavery. So first, he hands her a fat stack of cash. If he should ever become a slave, maybe Eia can pay off his master. But if that doesn’t work, then the last resort is to have the girl play the game as well. Since she’s so smart and brave, she’d be an excellent duelist. She can certainly free him, right? Well, near the end of the episode, she narrates, “But I would soon come to regret meeting him with all my heart. I wish I could go back.” Oh boy. For now, I feel obligated to follow this anime. But Thursday’s schedule is incredibly packed, so I won’t hesitate to drop it if ends up being too dumb… like Ousama Game or something.

Honestly, I just can’t see this show being any good. I’d like to think that it’s subversively undermining Japanese culture, especially with regards to honor, duty, and obligation. Obligation can be a powerful thing. Obligation is what keeps the crime rates so low in East Asian countries like Japan and South Korea. It even keeps the streets clean! Hell, I wish we had some of that over here. Unfortunately, the chucklefucks around me are content to litter willy-nilly without giving a shit about anything or anyone around them. Nevertheless, too much of a good thing will hurt you too. Like people who feel duty-bound to marry whoever their parents tell them to marry. But I doubt that’s what Dorei-ku is going for. In fact, we’re just going to see a bunch of creepy rape shit, huh?

After Dorei-ku, I definitely need a chaser. Y’know, just something light and breezy, and it looks like Tada-kun wa Koi wo Shinai might just do the trick. The show is neither deep nor challenging; so far, there’s barely even a plot. It’s just a bunch of friends hanging out. Nevertheless, I’ll continue to blog it as long as I don’t fall behind on everything else.

— Wow, not only does Teresa sleeps with a Rainbow Samurai doll, she has a shrine dedicated to the guy. It wouldn’t be accurate to call her a weeb, because she doesn’t act like your typical anime fanboy. She’s definitely obsessed with Japan, though.

— Man, such privilege.

— Yeah, natto smells horrible. I’ve tried it once, and I’ll never eat it again.

— We are introduced to Hajime, a.k.a. Pin-senpai. He’s the head of the Photography Club and also a bit of a creep. These two things are not necessarily related. Anyways, he supposedly has the ability to discern a girl’s cup size just by staring at them, but that’s probably bullshit. Guys think they know, but they don’t.

— Opposite Hajime is Hinako, the class representative. She seems like the quiet and mousy type, right? Well, she also happens to be a gravure idol. In fact, she’s Hajime‘s favorite gravure idol. But does he know that? Of course not. It’s fiction. All you gotta do is put on some glasses, and your identity will completely change. Just ask Superman.

— It’s Japan, so every high school student must join a club. I have no clue if this is actually true, but it’s certain the case in anime. Anyways, Teresa isn’t shy about her fandom, and that’s what makes her a true nerd.. Shameless love is what defines a nerd.

— This anime is not so great, but I really respect the level of detail that goes into every background. It’s actually quite impressive.

— Just as one might expect, the featured club in every anime series must necessarily be dying for members. The Photography Club here is no exception. Unfortunately, Hajime seems more concerned with getting nude models to photograph than anything else.

— Teresa fawns over Mitsuyoshi’s photos, but they look rather plain. But the guy manages to seal the deal when she spots that photo of the sluice gate from last week’s episode. Alec just can’t say no to this face.

— You never want to bombard newcomers with too much information. For once, the brainless Kaoru is correct. When people have fun with an activity, they’ll pursue deeper knowledge regarding it later.

— That cat-themed tissue box is supposed to be cute, but it looks like you have to tear out the poor animal’s guts just to wipe your nose.

— We meet yet another new character, and so far, Gentaro’s sole gimmick is that he acts like a goddamn dog. Yes, he’s loyal to Mitsuyoshi like a mutt, and he even has a heightened sense of smell. Okay then.

— To get Teresa and Alec properly orientated, the entire club is going to play a game. Basically, it’s like hide-and-go-seek plus photography. The team that snaps the best pic wins.

— At one point, Mitsuyoshi thinks he has Alec cornered, but she’s too fast for him. She also hops around like a ninja… which also means she runs like a Naruto character. Good lord. Luckily for Mitsuyoshi’s team, Hajime is an idiot who can’t resist the allure of any Hina-related paraphernalia.

— Yo, isn’t covering your face cheating? C’mon, if that’s allowed, why not just wear a bag over your head and auto-win?

— One of the team eventually finds themselves on the verge of victory, but Alec relents when she sees Teresa cry. As a result, she makes up a bad excuse about how she needs to tie her shoelaces, which allows Teresa’s team to escape. The funny thing, however, is that Alec ends up snapping the winning picture later, so it’s fine to win… just don’t make Teresa cry?

— Also, Hinako nearly gets splashed with water at one point, but Hajime suddenly protects her like a gentleman. Of course, if the water manages to hit his hair, then there’s no way it didn’t land on the girl as well, but shhh… we’ll just pretend that didn’t happen.

— In any case, I guess these two might have a thing. Near the end of the day, Hinako tries to ditch the group. It’s not that she doesn’t want to hang out with them. It’s that she’s oddly insecure for someone who also lives a second life as a model. Nevertheless, Hajime convinces her to stay, and I’m guessing that he’s probably the only one who could. I don’t really care about them, but I’m glad that this show isn’t shaping up to be a harem.

— But that about does it for our second episode. We meet a few new faces, joined the Photography Club, and even added another oh-so-special anime memory. Of course, I think Gentaro is wholly unnecessary, and the story probably wouldn’t suffer one bit if he was left out.

— All that’s left is to enjoy a cup of joe.

God, I miss the Ogre Battle series. I still hum “Thunder” from March of the Black Queen from time to time. I wish this anime was that fun. Anyways…

— Rossini is concerned that uprisings are breaking out across the island of Sistina, but one of his sons says, “What good will it do for people to make a commotion? They all fear us.” Um, if they feared you, there wouldn’t be uprisings.

— In fact, it’s quite odd that none of them seem all that worked up about Salvador’s death. Losing one son’s okay, but two? Whew, that’s too much!

— These guys are hilarious. Gee, all we’ve ever known is subjugating people, so we may as well keep doing it!

— Elsewhere, Yana, the black witch, is hanging out with Salvador’s assassin. Even though the young lord is dead, the assassin won’t abandon his mission of killing Irvin. This is kinda dumb, honestly. No one has any brains, and that includes the black witch. She’s only joining forces with him because she wants to pick a fight with the loli werewolves. As an aside, those two wannabe maids will always be a stain on this anime. It so desperately wants to be taken seriously, but then you have loli werewolf maids.

— Really? He kinda died like a chump.

— Yana: “Just looking at [Theo and Siluca], you can tell that they trust each other!” Ugh, the nerve! The black witch even dry heaves at the thought of those two. Still, it’s a little early in the day to do the ahegao face.

— Look at all these insurgents. Theo is nothing more than a terrorist! He just hates the Rossinis’ freedom!

— Theo has grand plans for the future. He’s going to build a tiny castle and rule over a small village. Big dreamer, that boy. But first things first, he has to beat down Dorni, one of Rossini’s sons. So you know what that means. Yep, more crappy CG armies standing in rectangular formations. I love how incredibly uniform that battlefield looks.

— Sure enough, Irvin and the loli werewolves are lured away from the main party because they’d rather pursue a bunch of side enemies than actually win the war.

— Meanwhile, Dorni does that thing that makes his soldier extremely cruel. But aside from the show directly telling us what his Crest does, we never actually get to see it in action. I mean, nobody appears to be more cruel to me.

— This eyecatch is just some lazy filter slapped onto an image.

— Irvin gets to fight his foe head-on. Unfortunately, the loli werewolves are up against some kinda goat demon. We’ve gotten 14 episodes that have mostly focused on war and politics (poorly). As a result, we still know next to nothing about how magic and demons operate in this universe. The world-building has been piss-poor in general. Like I said before, I’m just here to see Milza lose to Theo.

— I guess Theo can’t afford a horse. So instead, he kills Dorni’s horse. Man…

— Irvin manages to slay his opponent, but he still gets cut by a poisoned blade. But will he actually die? There’s no tragic element to his story like, say, Villar, so I doubt it. But I wouldn’t care if he died. He barely has a personality, and has contributed relatively little to the story.

— Elsewhere, the loli werewolves drive Yana away by simply stacking themselves one on top of the other… haha, really? Anyways, it’s unfortunate that they couldn’t finish her off, ’cause this just means she’ll rear her ugly face again at some point in the future. We already have enough villains to deal with between Milza and Marrine. Yana doesn’t really add anything special to the story other than cackling like a generic two-bit bad guy.

— More shoddily animated war scenes follow. You know it’s bad when the “camera” is this close to people’s face. It’s just a way for the animators to avoid having to, well, animate much.

— Eventually, Dorni’s footsoldiers abandon him, and Theo has him on the ropes. But we keep jumping back and forth like we have ADHD, so we’re right back to Irvin. He’s about to die when Priscilla shows up just in the nick of time. She looks strangely cold and emotionless for a priestess. Plus, this is all that she gets to do in this week’s episode. She literally shows up to heal Irvin then fucks off.

— Great animation. Outside of Darling in the FranXX (which is a joint effort with Trigger), all of A-1 Pictures’ efforts recently have looked terrible. SAO Alternative’s first episode didn’t look so hot, Wotakoi’s first episode just looks downright awful, and Grancrest Senki has been disappointing us for over three months now. I guess Persona 5 has looked alright so far. Still, for such a reputable company, I just expect more.

— Theo still does that nonsense where he won’t fight back against his opponents until they make a grave mistake. He just defends until they wear themselves out. But that has already failed once against Milza. Does he really intend to rely upon it for the rest of the series?

— Look at them all bunched up in that pit. Man, if only someone had brought some longbows and trebuchets.

— This was the best angle that the animators could draw? Really?

— All of a sudden, Yana has magically recovered from her injuries, and she’s now about to nuke our heroes. She was literally coughing up blood earlier, so what gives?

— Hmm. I have no words for this shot either.

— Siluca is able to repel Yana’s attack without issues. I think we’ve only gotten like a couple throwaway lines about how she and Theo have been training and leveling up. Oh well.

— Juzel, the remaining Rossini son, wants to negotiate and convince Theo that he’ll treat the people well. Unfortunately, the very first goddamn condition out of Juzel’s mouth is that he and his supporters don’t lose their fortunes. Oh, you mean the fortunes that you guys got by overtaxing the people?!

— Man, screw these negotations:

Juzel: “Lemme pledge my allegiance to you, and I’ll keep the loyalists in line!”
Theo: “The people who joined my revolution wouldn’t be happy with that!”
Juzel: “…”
Theo: “But I don’t wanna kill you guys… so pledge your allegiance to me!”
Juzel: “…uh, okay?”

But what’s done is done, and Theo has liberated his homeland in just two short episodes.

— And all it cost him was a childhood friend!

— The only bit of interesting characterization in this week’s episode involves Siluca and mainly Siluca. After Theo brutally takes downs Dorni, the mage runs up to him with a look of concern. Is it possible that all this relentless warfare and murder has tainted her man? She is even more worried when it initially looks as though Theo has no mercy for Juzel. Luckily, he eventually relents, so she smiles with tears in her eyes. They cap this episode off with an embrace before an army in jubilation. It’s not great character development, but it’s something nonetheless. I still maintain that Siluca’s relationship with Theo is the best thing that this show has going for it.

I’m just here for the trash. Plus, Friday tends to be bad for anime. For as long as I can remember, you rarely get anything great to watch on this normally awesome day of the week. Maybe the new Full Metal Panic is decent, but I still have to get around to it. For now, however, it’s all about Mahou Shoujo Site. Of course, I’m under no delusion that this show will be any good. But I guess I’m kinda curious where this story is going. After all, it can’t just be about bullies. There’s gotta be some grand purpose to all these tortured mahou shoujos, right? That’s how it always works. And that’s exactly what we’ll soon find out in this week’s episode.

— Curious about the world of magic? Like most anime, it’s just some crappy filter slapped onto the real world.

— Tsuyuno’s power is quite powerful. I initially thought that Aya would be naturally immune to Tsuyuno’s time-freezing abilities, but as it turns out, she would’ve locked in place too if the latter hadn’t added the girl to a list of exceptions. You got a cellphone app for that? Damn. I wonder who wrote it. The evil website probably has a backend written in Malbolge or something stupid like that.

— The orange-haired mahou shoujo is also heartless. She has no qualms about “taking out the trash.” Basically, if you so much as annoy her, you might find yourself on her shit list. Sure, the world is full of horrible people. But I prefer inspirational heroes. Call me soft, but I prefer to feel good about life at the end of the day.

— Tsuyuno insists, however, that she hasn’t killed Aya’s bully. Uh-huh. I guess she just has a flesh wound.

— Loving that low-res, stretched-out store name. Nice. Only chumps care about aspect ratios.

— Dutch angles add dynamism to the scene!

— Tsuyuno has decided to visit Aya’s home, so Kaname is nice enough to bring up some snacks. Sorry, but who the hell drinks orange juice with cookies? That Kaname is so diabolical!

— What I really dislike about the show is how they really infantilize Aya. Just look at how large her eyes are. It’s nowhere near as bad with Tsuyuno.

— It’s like a video game… but it’s tied to your magical abilities as well. You’ll die if you use your powers too much. But how does Tsuyuno know this? Has she seen someone die?

— There are dozens of us! Dozens!

— Tsuyuno eventually warns Aya that she has to be on the look out for other mahou shoujos. Not everyone is so nice. In fact, there’s a mahou shoujo serial killer hellbent on taking everyone’s magic stick (that sounds so odd). So… it’s just like real life then, huh? Bullied there, and soon to be bullied here. The only winning move is to die and hope you reincarnate in a better universe.

— Of course, the serial killer looks comically deranged. I don’t think these writers have ever actually studied serial killers before.

— So is this phenomenon localized entirely within Japan? Does the evil website lockout foreign IPs because it doesn’t want dirty gaijins to steal its magic sticks?

— Basic perspective errors.

— So can Tsuyuno pause time and take naps during those moments? Can she effectively stay perpetually awake? God, I wish I had that power.

— Tsuyuno volunteers to stay the night, so Kaname can’t do anything toni–… really? Really?

— Elsewhere, we get to watch and hear the mahou shoujo serial killer act all nutso and carefree while some whimsical, tricksy song plays in the background. This is so generic that it hurts. It’s rote storytelling through and through.

— The evil girl has a yearbook, and she instantly pinpoints Aya as her next target. Hm, I wonder how she even knows that our heroine is a mahou shoujo. Is there a mahou shoujo list somewhere? Do you have to update your info every time you move?

— The next day, the Greek chorus chimes in as the sole remaining bully slowly loses her sanity. This is just torture porn but for anime girls. But I mean, it’s also been done before and done better too.

— We think we see Tsuyuno napping in class, but it turns out she was just pretending. In fact, she’s using our poor Aya as a decoy to lure the serial killer out. Our heroine has such terrible luck with friends. First, she’s accosted by bullies, and now Cyclops is taking advantage of her.

— Please don’t kill another poor cat.

— Tch… nah man, nah.

— Tsuyuno tries to freeze time in order to save Aya, but the pink-haired girl can apparently erect a magical box in which everything inside is immune to outside powers… I think. Welp, so much for Tsuyuno being overpowered. This is the sort of story that will just pull anything out of its ass as it sees fit. The evil girl also has a camera that allows her to take on anyone’s appearance.

— Okay, I know I said that it’s bad to kill people… but Aya won’t even defend herself. Look, if you don’t have to kill someone to stop them, then you shouldn’t. Did Tsuyuno really have to slice Aya’s bully’s throat? Probably not. With a little creativity, you could easily cause the girl to get in trouble with the adults and get her taken away for good. But I digress. My point is that if you’re backed into a corner against a psychotic Pikachu, you might really want to consider using everything at your disposal. The story wants us to feel sorry for her because she’s so pure-hearted and innocent, but instead, she just comes across as weak and pathetic.

— Anyways, Tsuyuno eventually convinces Aya to use her magic stick, and this sends the mahou shoujo serial killer… where? Apparently, any location that has a strong impression in Aya’s mind. As a result, the evil girl ends up under the bridge where our heroine used to visit her pet kitten.

— Plot twist: the mahou shoujo serial killer is actually Tsuyuno’s former ally! Unfortunately, we’ve never met Rina before, so this isn’t a plot twist at all!

— Oh no, not that! For a show full of gruesome torture, murder and rape, this is pretty tame.

— According to Rina, the Tempest is coming. Apparently, this “girl” is really a guy. More importantly, he told Rina that the world is soon coming to an end. Not only that, a new world will be born (of course). And somehow, Rina thinks she needs all the magic sticks in the world to survive.

— Elsewhere, we see yet another psycho mahou shoujo, and she is crazy in the exact same way that Rina is crazy. Yawn.

— Uh, what is with all the sperm in the ED?

I actually like this episode as the tension remains high throughout. Even during the quiet moments in the first half of the episode, you get the sense that something is about to go wrong. Sousuke and Chidori try to enjoy a normal high school life, but they both know their time is short. They both know that the dam’s about to break, and those halcyon days of youth will soon be long gone. To make matters worse, Atsunobu, i.e. the student council president, is about to graduate, so he won’t be able to cover up for these two much longer. He suggests that Sousuke take Chidori and run, because their classmates might turn on them should the truth ever come out. Sousuke is torn, though. Like most anime protagonists, he’s a bit of a clod when it comes to the matters of the heart, but he still knows what Chidori cherishes most. As a result, he’s wants to be able to keep her here if possible. Still, when they walk home later that night, the guy actually asks if he could hold her hand. It’s almost as if he knows at the back of his mind that he won’t get another chance if he doesn’t seize it now.

Sure enough, Amalgam escalates the situation. Leonard casually shows up in Chidori’s apartment, and there’s nothing that Sousuke can do about it. He also warns her that she better go with him if she doesn’t want trouble to descend on this peaceful town. He drops the fact that he loves her, but I doubt that this is really the case. He’s just trying to unnerve Sousuke and Chidori. He harps on the fact that she’s special, so he wants to know why she allows herself to be around “stupid” people. But in reality, she’s nothing but a pawn to him; she’s simply a means to an end. If you don’t remember what a Whispered is, the girl apparently has some super special knowledge locked away in her subconscious. The episode tries to highlight the fact that she scores high on all of her math and science tests, but Chidori correctly points out that these are nothing more than high school exams. As a result, how can you even take them seriously? Nevertheless, Amalgam wants her, and as soon as Leonard leaves, Mithril’s bases are under attack.

We eventually see Sousuke and Chidori hiding out in an empty parking lot, waiting for a helicopter from Mithril to pick them up. For a brief moment, Sousuke considers asking the girl to run away with him. They can just leave all this nonsense behind though it’s not exactly clear how he intends to do this. Nevertheless, Amalgam just wants to use her, and he’s already been used. All his life, Sousuke’s been little more than a convenient killing machine for powerful organizations. Nevertheless, he backs out at the last second and decides against bringing up the question at all. Even though Sousuke wants to run away, he knows he can’t really protect Chidori by himself. Unless they decide to completely go off the grid, they’ll eventually be tracked down. As much as it sucks, he can only rely on Mithril to protect the girl… well, maybe not. All of the communications are down, and the episode comes to an end as attackers close in on Sousuke and Chidori’s location.

Even though I’ve forgotten many of the finer details from The Second Raid, I still feel as though I can enjoy this series as long as I focus primarily on the relationship between Sousuke and Chidori. Of course, it’s not as though any of the other characters got much screentime. Plus, what can I say? I’m a sucker for romances. The only thing I like about Record of Grancrest War is the romance, and hell, Darling in the FranXX is currently my favorite show on air at the moment for this very same reason. I simply like a good romance. Unfortunately, it’s a double-edged sword here. Y’see, I actually know a thing or two about how the whole story is going to end. After all, the light novels concluded like eight years ago, I think. The spoilers are out there if you look hard enough, but I actually had a friend who was obsessed with the books. And thanks to that friend, I know that there’s no way for this adaptation to cover five books in twelve episodes. It’s not gonna happen.

The start of this series coincides with the seventh light novel. If Xebec rushes it, we might get three books out of this show, but I bet we only get two. Either way, Invisible Victory is likely going to stick us with a downer of an ending. Probably. There’s also the fact that The Second Raid came out in 2005. It took 13 years before we could see another anime adaptation. How long am I going to have to wait to see the rest of the story? In the year 2031? Well, maybe this is for the best anyway. From what I understand — and again, this is all second-hand knowledge from my friend — the whole developments surrounding Amalgam’s plans, the origins of the Whispered, and the rest of the surrounding science kinda veer a bit off course in the final chapters anyway. Not only that, Leonard starts acting really creepy towards Chidori. But like I said, we may never see any of that in anime form. Still, the animation here is surprisingly solid, and I’m pleasantly surprised at how well I adapted to these old characters despite not having seen them in, well, over a decade.

Sorry, I don’t have much of an intro for this week’s episode. I’m just flabbergasted by what I just watched. 

— So the episode opens with a bunch of investigators interrogating Arato. Unfortunately, they’re just as clueless as the hero. He’s been involved in practically every major incident lately, and this is the first time he’s been called in for an interview? C’mon. The only thing that these investigators seem to realize is that Arato is a chump who is easily manipulated. But there’s not much they can say when they’re completely out-of-the-loop.

— Arato returns home to a frosty reception. After all, his sister continues to be the worst character on the show. She’s mad that she got kidnapped, but she’s even madder that he loves Lacia. Why? ‘Cause she’s just selfish. She just wants to avoid any awkwardness, i.e. all of the attention should go to her.

— Meanwhile, Lacia can’t help but smile. Is she being blissful or devilish? Lacia’s practically trolling Yuka as she promises the imouto that she won’t do anything embarrassing with Arato in front of her. Not only that, all limiters are removed as soon as Arato turns 18. This revelation makes pure-pure-boi over there turn beet-red. I have no idea why they have to wait that long, though. It’s not like she’s an adult. She’s not even human.

— We cut back to the investigators, and it’s just basically more recap. Yawn.

— Next, we visit a frazzled Ryo and a smug Methode. Well, she’s always smug. He’s running back and forth, trying to run the company and ensure that the authorities don’t know anything about the other Lacia-class hIEs. As far as they’re concerned, they only know of Kouka’s existence. Wait, what? Seriously? You’re telling me that no one realized Methode was involved in a massive explosion at the airport? Also, her job is to “expand humanity.” What does that even mean?

— Ryo then retires to the bathroom where he gripes about the fact that he has no clue what Ginga was attempting to accomplish. Maybe you should’ve prevented Methode from killing him if you wanted to know so badly.

— Here comes the worst part of the episode by far. We finally turn the focus back to Erica Barrows and Saturnus/Marriage. If you’ve forgotten who Erica Barrows is, she’s that dark-skinned “Sleeping Beauty” who woke up to a massive fortune and a pair of dead parents. Psycho kids basically run this world. Meanwhile, the adults are running around like headless chickens.

— More importantly, Saturnus has somehow unearthed a recording of Ginga’s, and she and her master are going to sit down and watch. Basically, it’s one long fucking infodump because this show has no clue how to tell a story.

— It all started when Arato’s dad created Eliza, who can apparently “control society with a large-scale analogue hack.” I still don’t really understand what analogue hacking means. Like… how can hIEs just influence people’s minds? Unless we’re just talking about regular influence, but then everyone has that. Speaking of Arato’s dad, where did he go? Did he even care that his daughter was kidnapped? Did he even care that his son was lurking around the server room? Why did he just go poof from the story?!

— Eliza was blown up in an attempt to kill Ryo. Okay. I guess if you take out the CEO’s son, then the company is doomed. Only in Japan, man. Only in fucking Japan.

— So Higgins came up with Lacia, but humanity didn’t have the technology to build her. As a result, Higgins came up with four lesser iterations, i.e. Lacia’s sisters. By building them, they can also build their way up to Lacia. Poor Kouka is supposedly the weakest or something. Meanwhile, Lacia is simultaneously a Type-00 and a Type-05.

— For some odd reason, these hIEs can only exhibit their utmost potential by intermingling with humans. I don’t even know how that works. But yeah, that’s the reason why Ginga released them into the wild… even though he also wants to be their owner.

— He also insists that Methode is the most “powerful” of the five units, but again, what does that mean? Processing power? Combat power? Being a stupid dumb maid power?

— At the same time, he wants to observe Lacia, because she’s the one that Higgins is most “insistent” about. So again, the concept of power here is vague at best.

— Ginga then wonders if Lacia will become a peaceful politician or “a monster to end humanity?” Why does it have to be so binary? This is the same dude who went on and on about how AI has already surpassed human intelligence, but then he pretty much pigeonholes them into two outcomes.

— But thankfully, the exposition finally comes to an end when Ryo visits Shiori in the hospital. She’s heard about him becoming Methode’s new owner, and she’s not the least bit pleased by this bit of news. I mean, can you blame her? Methode tried to kill her, after all. Ryo has also gone on and on about how hIEs can be trusted, but now he’s allied with one of these red boxes. He claims it was necessary to save the company, but from what? How did taking ownership of Methode accomplish that? How did Ginga’s death accomplish that?

— All of a sudden, we see chibi Ryo superimposed onto his sister. Okay.

— The guy then gets mad at his sister, so he goes, “…forget about me and stay with Arato.” Where does that even come from?! What’s Arato got to do with anything here?!

— Sure, Shiori, sure.

— We then get a flashback scene which explains how Ryo came to own Methode. He was supposed to take Arato to the server room, but the kid pretty much did that on his own. Well, I guess Ryo did try to discourage him. Nevertheless, he starts taunting Methode about how Ginga will eventually abandon her one day. As a result, she should ally with him. Not only that, he’ll give her unfettered freedom. Once again, I do not understand how this benefits Ryo at all. How is he using her in any sort of way that actually protects his company? How has he even used her at all?

— The contract Ryo ends up signing with Methode is heavily slanted in the hIE’s favor. Not only can she break the contract at any time, he must also retroactively take responsibility for everything she’s done even before he became her owner. The guy gets mad, because this means his sister’s near death is his fault… but that doesn’t even make sense! “Rawr, I’m the judge and jury of this case! Let’s see who is responsible for hurting this girl! Oh, you accept responsibility even though you were in no way involved with the situation? Alrighty then, it’s your fault!” What?

— Elsewhere…

— All of the Lacia-class owners have been invited to Erica’s home. Naturally, they can’t resist. Even Kouka will come.

— It really bugs me that they can’t even fucking center this giant mansion properly. It’s just all over the place.

— Food so sparkly, you’d think it had been lace with drugs!

— So Arato and Lacia arrive first to a rather empty fucking house. Nothing fishy about this! I’m also curious at the fact that Lacia didn’t comment at all on Saturnus/Marriage’s appearance.

— Ryo arrives next, which ’causes Arato to beam like an idiot. They’ve been butting heads all series, but he still leaps with joy like an idiot whenever his friend appears. They even had that tense stand-off at the end of last week’s episode, but Arato still acts as though they’ve swept everything under the rug.

— But then Methode slides out from behind Ryo! Haha, what? Arato immediately wears a frown. Oh no! It’s the enemy! My friend, who is the owner of the dangerous hIE, isn’t the enemy! It’s just the hIE herself! Plus, did Ryo and Methode plan this stupid charade? “Hey, hide behind me while I make my entrance. That idiot Arato’s going to be so punked!”

— Right off the bat, Ryo tells Methode to “[d]o it,” so she gets into a fighting stance. Do what? Subdue Lacia? If that’s been the goal all along, doesn’t Ryo know where Arato lives? Can’t he just go over the his buddy’s house at any time and have Methode duke it out with Lacia? Why do you have to start a fight here of all fucking places?

— Suddenly, Kouka comes crashing through the top of the glass ceiling. You’re supposed to shatter it from below, idiot.

— But hey, where’s Kengo?

— Kouka recognizes Saturnus/Marriage, at least. She’s the only one to say anything so far.

— Meanwhile, Erica Barrows is just all “Herp derp I wanna see how the world changes! Now use your fancy androids and make the world change! By the way, you’re trapped here because Saturnus/Marriage has hidden 48 bombs around the perimeter of the estate.” Great. Let’s change the world within the locality of your stupid ass mansion. Genius.

— After the credits, we see Snowdrop just chilling in some verdant location.

— As for next week’s preview, we get to stare at some android ass as we’re told that past mistakes will threaten the present. Y’know, like how it’s always been. Aw man, I shouldn’t have had that week-old chicken in the fridge. I’m getting the runs! OH NO PAST MISTAKES ARE THREATENING MY PRESENT.

As they often say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. This is a frustrating episode simply because the conflict between Hiro, Zero-Two and the rest of their teammates will not be resolved anytime soon. It’s not that it can’t be resolved. It’s that the plot is compelled to follow standard storytelling conventions, and as a result, the main couple must be torn apart. The princess is more or less stolen away from her prince, and there’s nothing that he can do about it. For now, anyways. The same thing is about to happen in Full Metal Panic! if you want to know what I’m talking about. Chidori will soon fall into the bad guys’ clutches, and Sousuke’s going to have to spend the rest of the series trying to rescue her. Sadly, the exact same developments are taking shape here. I had hoped to go down a road less traveled, but here we are. Hiro and Zero-Two’s relationship have been stuck in limbo for quite some time now, and I wanted last week’s revelations to be a sign that we could finally move forward. Unfortunately, the whole world seems hellbent on keeping those two apart.

Hiro and Zero-Two finally recognize each other, but before they can truly talk about their relationship and what it truly means to both of them, the guy collapses from his injuries. She can’t help but feel guilty, because she’s been using him up to this point. Ichigo then manages to make her way into Strelizia and get between the couple. In her mind, she needs to keep Zero-Two away at all costs for Hiro’s sake, but she doesn’t know. And oftentimes, we’ll often hurt the people we love without knowing anything either. But it isn’t as though Zero-Two never had a chance. She’s been stonewalling Hiro for weeks and weeks now. You can’t say Hiro didn’t try. He definitely did. It just so happens that he and Zero-Two have known each other from the start. But suppose he was a whole new person, would it have really mattered? Think about it. We grow up believing in ideas like true love, but such a thing doesn’t really exist. It can’t exist. With over seven billion people on this planet, you can’t honestly believe that your one true love is out there somewhere. No, that isn’t the case at all. Rather, there are certain people that we can develop strong bonds with, then we simply strive to nurture our relationships with them. I actually wish Hiro and Zero-Two hadn’t been childhood friends, ’cause this would’ve sent a clearer, stronger message to all the deluded folks out there. Zero-Two has been so obsessed with a darling from years ago that she threw away a loving, supportive partner. She was so desperate to reunite with her darling from the past that she hurt her darling in the present.

Nana and Hachi discuss Hiro’s yellow blood cell count, which is apparently so high that he may very well undergo saurification. But is that so bad? Will this kill him? Or will it simply turn him into a hybrid like Zero-Two? Unfortunately, the adults no longer believe that it’s safe for Hiro to partner up with Zero-Two. The couple is about to be torn apart, and there’s nothing that he can do about it. He’s trapped in his hospital room, locked away from the one person he needs to talk to most. Zero-Two finally wants to open up to him, but she can’t. We are effectively in limbo as machinations beyond the couple’s control will conspire to keep them away from each other. The worst part is that the rest of Squad 13 has a large role to play in this unending drama. Like Ichigo, most of the kids have Hiro’s best interest at heart, but they don’t know anything about the situation. They’re clueless. They only get to hear Ichigo’s side of the story, and it’s hardly the most balanced take on the situation. Plus, whether they want to admit it or not, they’ve never really cared about Zero-Two.

Lately, Zero-Two finds her mind in a daze. All she really knows is that she needs to talk to her darling, but Ichigo won’t let the pink-haired girl anywhere near Hiro. The truth is that Ichigo doesn’t really care at all about how Hiro feels. She’s obsessed with him, but it’s hard to argue that she truly cares about him. It doesn’t matter to her what he actually wants. He’s just like a stuffed animal that she wants to keep safe and protected in her possession. Goro tries to be the voice of reason, but he’s too nice. He’s too soft-spoken, and as such, he ends up spoiling Ichigo. His words have next to no effect even though he’s supposed to be her partner. I wonder what that really says about their partnership. Are they naturally compatible, or are they only compatible because he pretty much allows Ichigo to run roughshod over him? Even the the most perfect marriage will have strife from time to time, but he and Ichigo rarely ever butt heads. Sometimes, you have to ruffle some feathers if you want to really grow and mature. Speaking calmly to Ichigo won’t accomplish anything, because she’s so blinded by her mission to protect Hiro.

Ichigo brings up the fact that Hiro will lose his humanity, but what does this really mean? I don’t think she really understands what she’s saying. If saurification means that Hiro will resemble Zero-Two, then what’s so bad about that? When we say that losing our humanity is bad, what we really mean is that we fear the loss of rationality and empathy, two traits often associated to humanity from an anthropocentric point of view. But if that’s the case, then Zero-Two seems perfectly human. She’s a little rough around the edges, but considering her childhood, what do you expect? If she’s not like the other children, it’s not because of the blood flowing through her veins. It’s because she was raised like a lab animal. But this is what often happens when we discriminate. We claim that the Other lacks humanity without often realizing that its is through our own actions that they are dehumanized. The other kids think that Zero-Two is a monster, because they treated her like one from the first place. Yes, other pilots die after riding with Zero-Two too many times, but again, is that due to her klaxosaur blood? Or does she simply strain her partners because she’s fixated on killing klaxosaurs? It’s not quite so clear upon further examination.

Either way, this fear of Hiro losing his humanity is unfounded. His appearance might change, but it’s doubtful that Hiro will cease to be Hiro. Ichigo knows what’s truly bothering her, but she just doesn’t want to admit it. She knows that if Hiro keeps spending time with Zero-Two, at some point, those two will eventually cross the point of no return. The thing is that Ichigo hasn’t given up on Hiro. Despite Goro’s confession, she still pines for Hiro and Hiro only. She doesn’t want him to fall in love with Zero-Two, and this whole saurification nonsense is just the perfect excuse for her to drive a massive wedge between him and her rival. Ichigo is going to pretend to take the high road and act as though she eventually accepted Zero-Two into the team, but I think that’s disingenuous at best. Yes, she defended Zero-Two in last week’s episode, but was that really for the pink-haired girl’s sake? Or did Ichigo simply not want any outsiders to disparage the team that she leads? I truly believe that Ichigo is selfish, and we’re finally seeing her true colors.

Unfortunately, Zero-Two can’t even defend herself. She’s too overwhelmed with anger and anxiety to properly reason with Ichigo. She’s finally found her darling, but she can’t even speak to him. Anyone would be torn up by that. As a result, Zero-Two only makes things worse. She even double-downs by claiming that she’s never once cared about the rest of the team. Unfortunately, she’s not doing herself any favors by turning all of his friends against her. This week’s episode is just one painful shot in the foot after the other. Initially, I was honestly surprised that everyone could keep Zero-Two away. If she really wanted to, she could easily overpower the entire squad just on her own. Instead, we just later see her cooped up in her room, nervously chewing on her fingernails. This isn’t the Zero-Two that I want to root for. This isn’t the Zero-Two that I can get behind. I like her strong, confident personality from earlier in the series. I understand that she’s anxious to speak to Hiro again, but I had to really consider why she was preventing herself from seeing her darling. The truth is that although she often acts tough and talks a big game, but she doesn’t actually want to hurt these kids. Zero-Two’s pride makes it seem as though she doesn’t give a damn about the rest of the squad, but this isn’t true. We’ve seen in previous episodes that she was actually starting to enjoy her time in Squad 13. She just can’t come out and admit it even though it would extremely help her case to do so. If Zero-Two had just appealed to their empathy from the start, the rest of the team probably would’ve relented and told Ichigo to back down.

Naturally, the first thing that comes out of Hiro’s mouth is Zero-Two. What he truly wants is to be able to talk to her, and what’s the harm in that? If she poses any danger to him, it’s in a FranXX. In a small room surrounded by friends, what can Zero-Two possibly do to Hiro? It’s so frustrating that none of the other kids seem to realize this. I can only wonder if they ever will. I also find it weird that his friends don’t even stick around for very long. They exchange a few empty words then immediately bail. Hiro doesn’t get a chance to explain why he wants to see Zero-Two so badly. Like with Zero-Two, if he had appealed to them, it might have helped. But like most shows, the lack of communication prevents anyone from taking any sort of meaningful action to improve the situation. Hiro does, however, get the chance to make amends with Mitsuru, so I guess one potential ship at least got to make some progress in this week’s episode. Unfortunately, the latter pretends as though he had forgotten all about the promise. Still, you have to imagine that things will improve immensely between these two in future episodes.

Once everyone has left the room, Hiro then recalls how his numbers kept dropping soon after the incident with Zero-Two. Did the doctors mess with Hiro’s mind so much that only Zero-Two can draw the best out of him? Or did she inadvertently alter his make-up in such a way that he could no longer pilot with anyone else? Maybe this happened when he consumed her blood. If that’s the case, then that’s one of hell of a trick. Imagine if you can prevent your partner from straying completely, because he can no longer get it up for anyone but you. In any case, Hiro wants to ask if Zero-Two had known all along that he could only ride with her. Is that really what matters to him right now? I guess I’m not really certain what he’s hoping to hear from her. What sort of answer would satisfy him? Does he want to be with her or not?

Life goes on without Hiro as the rest of the team receives its marching orders. What are Papa and his ilk up to? What’s so important about this “Grand Crevasse?” Why will this mission require the collaboration of numerous Plantations? Seeing as how this is an episode all about Hiro and Zero-Two, however, don’t count on finding out the truth anytime soon. Ichigo then raises her hand and directly requests to have Zero-Two removed from the mission. She is just being spiteful now. If she only cared about Hiro’s safety, she could’ve just talked to the adults in private. In reality, she’s deliberately trying to humiliate Zero-Two and ostracize the girl even further by calling her out in front of everyone. This is a show of power. Ichigo is beating her chest and shoving her leadership into Zero-Two’s face. She wants its to be known that she gets to call the shots around here, and her rival won’t get to pilot with Hiro again. She claims that this is the group’s decision, but Goro’s expression doesn’t look as though as if he wholeheartedly agrees. I can only wonder if this was ever actually discussed. Either way, it’s still bad for any decision to be made on Hiro’s behalf without his input. I’ve never really liked Ichigo, and in this week’s episode, she just continues to dig a hole for herself.

In the end, Ichigo’s power move is all moot anyways, since HQ had long decided to remove Zero-Two from the team completely. Nana and Hachi are just finally giving the team the news now. Knowing that she’ll soon lose her chance to be with her darling, Zero-Two tries once more to see Hiro, but everyone continues to stand in her way. Again, we have to realize that Futoshi and Zorome armed with a couple sticks can’t possibly keep Zero-Two away from Hiro. C’mon, those two guys? The two lamest guys on the squad? Again, she’s the one who’s keeping herself away from Hiro, because despite what Ichigo will claim about her, she doesn’t want to get violent and hurt anyone. At the moment, anyways. Everyone eventually gets pushed too far, and we’ll soon find Zero-Two’s limit. Nevertheless, what’s tragic about this episode is that Zero-Two’s “monstrosity” has proven to be nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy. She finally has her darling right in front of her, but what can she do? They already think she’s a monster. If she uses force to get her way, she’d just be tightening the noose around her neck. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. And if she has to choose between her darling or these kids, that’s an easy choice to make. She just didn’t want to make that choice. She thought she had more time. She thought she could stick around and wait for Hiro’s condition to improve. Then everything would go back to normal and they’d be a team again. But now that her impending departure has been signed and sealed, the rest of team has forced her hands. Zero-Two will do what she thinks she needs to do.

Elsewhere, Hiro gets out of bed and tries to leave his room, but he finds Miku standing guard. But… it’s just Miku. Instead, however, Hiro takes one long look at his room. He’d rather hatch a convoluted plan to escape from his prison than just pushing his way past one person. Ichigo ends up paying him a visit, and she even brings an apple that doesn’t look very good in her hands. In any case, the girl claims that if Hiro even talks to Zero-Two, he’ll never be the same again. That’s such nonsense. She can’t truly believe that, because how can she even possibly know that? Rather, she fears that those two will end up together if they get to speak again. That’s all it is. This is her biggest chance to swoop in and steal Hiro, and that’s exactly what she’s doing. I’m not suggesting that Ichigo is some sort of conniving, manipulative person. She’s not intentionally trying to hurt Hiro and Zero-Two, but nevertheless, the results of her actions have the same effect. Ichigo is simply selfish, and this causes her to act in inadvertent ways that simply serve to further her own ends. She doesn’t really care about Hiro. She even says that it’s okay for him to hate her so long as he doesn’t go anywhere, i.e. leave her. As long as he stays here, cooped up in this little plantation, he’s just a caged bird. After all, he can’t take flight with anyone but Zero-Two. The fact that he can’t pilot with anyone but Zero-Two doesn’t matter to her. Ichigo can believe all she wants that he’ll one day be able to ride with her, but she has no evidence to back this up. In truth, his feelings don’t matter to her. Hell, she doesn’t even understand them. She doesn’t even know how useless and suicidal Hiro felt when he couldn’t fly. She just wants to keep him propped up around their dormitory like some kind of pet. Ichigo’s only protecting him for her own sake. She then says that as a team they don’t want to lose anyone, but Zero-Two is about to return the Nines.

Ichigo accidentally cuts herself, but Hiro simply puts a band-aid on it. He doesn’t lick her blood. Perhaps in Ichigo’s mind, she’s having a bonding moment with her crush, but all she can do is remind him of Zero-Two. Back at the dormitory, Zero-Two appears to have finally reached the end of her rope and come to a tragic decision. She doesn’t want to hurt the other kids, but she just can’t take it anymore. She’s played their game. She’s killed her own kind in the hopes of being accepted (I wonder if this was a lie that the Elders had told her). And yet, they continue to keep her away from her darling. Zero-Two has had enough. Sadly, this is what I was talking about earlier. By taking any sort of action against the group, no matter how justified, Zero-Two will just end up shooting herself in the foot. As a result, her monstrosity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. But that has always been the case, hasn’t it? Outsiders like Zero-Two (e.g. hafus or any other minority for that matter) are always put between a rock and a hard place. We treat them poorly, but at the same time, we expect them to behave and fall in line. When they finally and inevitably lose their composure like Zero-Two — when they finally can’t take the ill treatment anymore — it just gives us false justification to spread hatred and fear even more. This is nothing more than confirmation bias; it’s an unending, vicious feedback loop that has doomed many societies from achieving their fullest potential. “Oh no, she’s violent so we can’t have her come near Hiro!” Then when Zero-Two gets fed up, Ichigo can smugly gloat that she had warned us beforehand.

Ichigo returns to find from the hospital to find that Zero-Two can no longer be held back by the other kids. The latter is no longer afraid to use violence. After all, she’s given up any pretense of being their teammates. She’s going back to the Nines soon anyways. She does, however, finally appeal to everyone’s emotions like I had wanted. As a result, Goro finally gets through to Ichigo and convinces their leader to let Zero-Two see Hiro. Unfortunately, it’s too late. In his own desperate effort to see Zero-Two, Hiro has broken out of his cell. Everything goes terribly wrong as Zero-Two can only see red. They must have tricked her, she feels. They’ve done everything they can to keep her away from her darling, so this must be another dirty ploy by the rest of the team to screw her over. Elsewhere, Hiro walks into Zero-Two’s room and finds that the entire place in a state of complete disarray. It almost seem as though an animal had torn the room apart. He gazes into Zero-Two’s broken mirror, and it’s hard not to think that the girl’s human facade has shattered. What’s unfortunate is that he can only see the result of Zero-Two’s monstrosity but not the cause. Again, if Zero-Two errs, it’s because she has been treated poorly. He instinctively rushes back to his hospital room and finds Zero-Two hurting his friends (her deranged cackling didn’t help either). So in his anger, he rejects her as well. He might not have meant to reject her completely, but that’s the funny thing about words… they often have unintended effects.

With that, Zero-Two accepts her punishment. She feels the guilt of having used him as a placeholder for her darling, not realizing that he was her darling all along. The next day, she willingly departs from the Plantation without a word. In fact, her horns are more pronounced than they’ve ever been. There’s a group of stamen ready and willing to sacrifice themselves to Zero-Two, but what’s even the point? She’s been fighting all this time to become human so that she can be with her darling, but even Hiro has rejected her. Does she even have a reason to fight anymore? Does she even have a reason to obey the adults anymore? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how this all turns out. In any case, Zero-Two doesn’t even look at Hiro as she walks past him. In the moment, he foolishly doesn’t say anything to her either. He eventually regrets his inaction when he reflects on their relationship and what she truly means to him, but unlike earlier in the series, there’s no embarrassing romantic speech to give. As he turns to chase after Zero-Two, Ichigo desperately clings onto him and prevents him from pursuing what his heart truly wants. In front of Goro, she kisses Hiro and confesses her love. She claims that she’ll do anything she can so that they can ride together, but Hiro is just speechless. I’m speechless too. The depth of Ichigo’s selfishness is unbelievable. She doesn’t care at all about Hiro’s feelings, but more importantly, she doesn’t care at all about Goro’s feelings. The guy risked his life for her, and this is what he gets! I’m not saying that he’s entitled to her love. Of course not. But a little consideration wouldn’t hurt. A little more tact and diplomacy isn’t the end of the world. But Ichigo continues to charge forth as if she’s the only person who matters in this entire group of friends. And despite her heartfelt pleas, all Hiro can do is gaze longingly at the sky as he watches Zero-Two depart from his life.

Man, I thought I’d follow Darling in the FranXX with something easier to write-up, but I ended up vomiting up way too many words for this post. Ah well. Let’s start the game. 

— I’m disappointed that we didn’t get to see Ren and Arsene face off against the first enemies of the game. If I recall correctly, Kamoshida’s guards turn into Pyro Jacks, and you take them down with ease. In the adaptation, however, it appears as though Arsene simply nukes the guards with Eiha (a dark-element spell). Lame.

— I love Persona 5’s soundtrack the most out of Hashino’s trilogy. Persona 3’s hip hop was refreshing to hear at the time, but I was lukewarm about Persona 4’s poppy tunes. There are some great tracks (like “Heaven” or “Long Way”), but nothing got me as pumped as Persona 5’s “Blooming Villain,” especially the way it’s timed. You’re doing all your buffing and early battle planning during the percussive start of the track, then as you start fighting back, the wailing guitar starts in. It’s perfect in my opinion. I understand all the complaints about the lack of variety in the Persona 5’s soundtrack, but I’m more concerned with how it added to the overall gameplay experience. For that reason, “Blooming Villain” is one of my top songs from the game.

— Plus, with the whole rebellious theme that the anime has going for it, the soundtrack absolutely had to have some rock tracks in it.

— Wait, what? As soon as Ren and Ryuji escape from their cell, they end up right back in the real world? They’re supposed to meet Morgana first before leaving. Other minor scenes have been cut out (like Kawakami giving Ren a hard time for being late on his first day), but that’s fine. We can’t adapt every single scene from the game. Nevertheless, moving their first encounter with Morgana is a huge change.

— I also don’t like Kamoshida’s real world characterization. He comes across as too obviously evil. On a related note, I preferred his English VA over the Japanese one.

— The OP song is alright, and the OP itself has some cute moments. I also like the comic book look that the characters get.

— It’s interesting to see how shocked Ren is that everyone’s already gossiping about him. As the player, I had no real reaction during this same moment. I just assumed that the MC couldn’t hear them.

— Y’know, if you want your peers to treat you normally, you probably shouldn’t just sit by yourself at lunch and stare at nothing.

— Ah, it’s Shiho. For some reason, she has a small group of fans out there in the Persona 5 community. Personally, I never felt as though she was in the story long enough for me to care. And if you really put off leveling up Ann as a confidante, you pretty much never hear of her again.

— Ah man, Makoto deserves better than this. A-1 Pictures hasn’t really been putting forth their best effort as of late. It’s such a shame.

— Why do these guys act like they’ll go hungry if they don’t buy bread from the cafeteria? Japanese schools don’t supply any sort of meal plans?

— I watched a lot of people play this game, and a good chunk of them expressed incredulity at the idea that Kamoshida would be held to such high esteem.

— I don’t find it surprising, though. My own country worships football to a sickening degree. It’s amazing what these “tight-knit” communities can overlook just to win a few pointless high school games, and I say that despite being a huge sports fan myself. But the problem is that it’s not even limited to just one sport. Too many gymnasts have fallen victim to Larry Nassar.

— This Sojiro is too blase. He’s telling Ren off for being late to school, but not really. He never raises his voice, his inflection doesn’t contain any anger, and he doesn’t even look at the kid. It’s like he doesn’t even care. Maybe this Sojiro just thinks Ren will inevitably go off rails again, and there’s not much that he can do about it. As a result, why even bother parenting the kid? But y’know, that’s what I liked about the game’s Sojiro. His tough guy act is just an attempt to scare Ren back into shape. Once you get to know him, you realize how caring he is.

— We get to see Kamoshida pelt Ren with volleyballs during PE. This is not in the game. It’s interesting because we get to see the MC’s defiant nature come out, but it’s also odd that Kamoshida would actually be phased by it.

— By the way, Haru is easily my least favorite party member, which sucks ’cause gameplay-wise, she has some really cool moves. But god, I hated her personality, and I hated her English VA even more.

— Ren watches as the track team confronts Ryuji. We find out that something bad had happened to Ryuji’s leg, but I feel as though this revelation was better delivered in the game.

— I like Kawakami’s hairstyle on girls. I like her character design overall despite the jean skirt. But man, her story later…

— This Ren is ready and willing to dive back into the Metaverse.

— Yeah, they’re overdoing Kamoshida’s villainy way too early.

— As an aside, I went with Ann on my first playthrough of the game. Yeah, I don’t mind her as a character, but this was mostly by default more than anything. I already said above that I can’t stand Haru. The adults are, well, adults; they shouldn’t be dating a high school kid. Yes, in a vacuum, the doctor is badass as all hell, and she’d be my first choice. But what the hell is a doctor doing with a high school kid? Then you get to Futaba, and she’s like fucking otaku bait. She’s a genius hacker/programmer, loves games and anime, and eats junk food all day. It’s too much. Not only that, she’s also way too young.

So it really just comes down to Ann and Makoto. Makoto is great… up until her story reminds me too much of Mitsuru from P3. Like how she has much to learn about the real world (dude, she’s never been to the arcades!), how naive she can be about friendships, and most of all, how she wants you to teach her about love. That line near the end of her social link sealed it for me. Like with Futaba, her story just felt too pandering for my tastes. Someone as smart as Makoto is likely to have done extensive research on love, romance, and sex all by herself. I hate it when these writers treat these girls as if they’re innocent maidens just ripe for the plucking. It’s ridiculous.

So yeah, I went with Ann. Yes, the hafu with supermodel good looks is also unrealistic in her own way, but I found her to be the most palatable option out of all of the girls that you can romance. Had this been a story about college students, however, Takemi and Kawakami would win hands down.

— Ren and Ryuji eventually discover Shadow Kamoshida’s weirdo torture/sex dungeon, but we still haven’t been introduced to my guy Morgana. Tsk tsk.

— This is quite overt.

— We even get to see him sock the poor girl. I just feel as though the adaptation hasn’t built up to Kamoshida’s ugliness properly. It’s all too sudden, and it doesn’t organically develop the viewers’ hate for him like the original. But it’s possible that I just have rose-colored glasses for the game.

— Finally, Morgana shows up. It amused me how people hated him, because in the game, he’d often insist on the MC going to bed every night. See, that didn’t bother me, because I’m used to how these games work. You just didn’t have anyone in P3 and P4 to tell you to sleep, but you still had to. It’s amazing how simply giving a voice to a gameplay mechanic will crystallize people’s hate where there otherwise wouldn’t be any.

— As for Morgana as a character, I like him far, far more than Teddie. It helps that he’s a black cat, and I also have a black cat. He gives Ryuji way too much shit, but eh, Ryuji kinda deserves it. We’ll talk more about Morgana later, though.

— We’re about to see Ryuji awaken to his Persona, which means we also about to learn that Kamoshida had broken his leg. See, this is what I’m talking about. By having him abuse Shiho so early on in the story, this takes away from the impact of Ryuji’s story. In the game, it’s hard to understand just how bad Kamoshida really is until this very moment. Sure, we saw all those puppets being tortured, but we don’t know for sure that he’s just as bad in real life. Hearing from Ryuji firsthand, however, that he lost his place on the track team just because of Kamoshida is really the first time it sets in that this volleyball coach is a piece of shit. Then it naturally builds from there when we find out more about Shiho’s situation and how he’s been sexually harassing her. The adaptation does this whole thing backwards, and I can’t say that I like it.

— I don’t have much to say about Ryuji’s Persona, but I do wanna comment on the gameplay mistake in him being the only physical fighter to have the Charge ability. Likewise, Ann is the only mage to get Concentrate. This pretty much means they’re way stronger than the other members. Ultimately, the game is easy enough that every character is viable, but if you really wanna breeze through the lategame, you’d just stick with Ryuji and Ann. This is funny, because P4 had the same problem. Chie had Charge, and I abused her Charge+God Hand combo all the way through the vanilla game. This disparity was eventually fixed in P4:Golden, so it’s just odd to me that P5 had the same problem all over again. There was no reason for me to use Yusuke over Ryuji, especially when Ryuji also gets Matarukaja. Talk about overkill.

— Yeah, the animation could be better. A whole lot better.

— We’ve completely skipped the fact that Ren can summon more than one Persona. Odd. Maybe it’ll come later.

— Also, are they gonna ignore the fact that these guys can use guns in battle?

— That feel when the game has better animation than you.

— Is this girl supposed to be someone important…? If it’s a cameo, I don’t recognize her at all.

— Basically, the justice system did Ren something dirty. Like with Kamoshida being worshiped, a lot of players also couldn’t believe that Ren would get in trouble for saving the poor woman, but we should get a better picture of what really happened later on in the story.

— The ED’s alright, but not really something I’d find myself listening on my free time.

— So Akechi told Sae right off the bat that he thinks the incidents in the news might have supernatural causes, huh? Hm.

— At the end of the day, it’s Persona 5, so I’ll always enjoy this show, but A-1 Pictures could’ve done a better job with this episode. Let’s hope that this isn’t a sign of things to come.

Yay, it’s time to watch my favorite MMO-themed anime of the season… woo. Can you just feel the excitement in the air? We’re about to learn all about Karen and how LLENN came to exist. This is crucial lore, you guys. Pay attention.

— People gawk at Karen just because she’s six feet tall. I’ve never been to Japan, so I have no clue if Japanese people really do this. Still, I can understand why this might make the heroine insecure. I’ve often heard that Japanese culture is conformist. Maybe this has been exaggerated, maybe not. But she not be in Japan to be feel insecure. We’re all insecure about something. My nose? Too big. I wish Karen could lend me her height, too. And man, don’t even get me started on my unstylable hair. I guess I should just thank my lucky stars that I’m not balding.

— What I can’t relate with, however, is that the girl plays a loli avatar just because she’s tall in real life. That’s nothing I’ve ever done.

— Also, she supposedly struggles to make friends… but that can’t be due to her height, can it? When she sees a group of girls walking down the street, she literally turns away from them. You can’t blame your height at that point. She thinks that if she was short like them, everything in her life would be fixed, but that’s the wrong mentality to have.

— Wait, wait, wait… she’s moved to Tokyo for university, but because her parents won’t allow her to get a part-time job, she simply won’t? C’mon, that’s pathetic. You’re an adult.

— What a spacious home.

— Man, who’s this loser?

— The show reminds us that 4,000 people died in the SAO incident. Four thousand. What a mess.

— Basically, the anime is now telling us how Karen got hooked on VRMMOs in the first place. It’s kind of overdoing the height thing a bit, though. I really doubt people would just turn around and make this face whenever they see the girl. She ain’t Shaq. She’s just 6’0″ tall.

— Apparently, Karen tried ALO first. She chose the sylph as her race, and her character ended up being too tall. Her VR unit immediately logged her out, because she freaked out at her own avatar’s height. Yeesh. First, what’s with these MMOs and their lack of a character creator? Who would make games like this? No one. No one. The SAO universe is the only universe I’ve ever seen in which people’s avatars are auto-generated for them. This is not a thing in any other story. It’s such a stupid plot contrivance. Second, if she wanted to be short… maybe she should’ve picked the gnome race. It was an available choice.

— So she keeps trying new games, but none of her randomly generated avatars are to her taste. Look at all these games losing potential customers simply because they lack a character creator.

— Hmmm…

— Finally, after going through 37 games, Karen gets to be the loli of her dreams. Yay…

— The sad part about this is that she’s just as cute as a tall girl.

— Oh lord, this animation.

— Why did she pick a name with all caps anyway?

— This game is like the NRA’s dream.

— Anyways, Karen’s going through the game’s tutorial, which basically teaches her how to play the game and how to use a gun. This is all really boring stuff, so don’t expect much commentary from me. I don’t care about guns. I’ve never cared about guns. Guns and weapons in general just aren’t very interesting to me.

— According to the tutorial NPC — who’s doing a poor job of imitating R. Lee Ermey, but whatever — there are monster battles in GGO as well. I don’t recall ever seeing such a thing, though.

— The PvE sure looks exciting. It also seems as though she’s just as friendless here as she is in the real world. Basically, her height has nothing to do with it. Personally, I can’t stand playing MMOs by myself. On their own, they’re shitty games. They’re only fun because you can play with others. When you play them alone, you just feel like a loser. So in a way, MMOs are like alcohol.

— We then see the girl dye her clothes pink, because she’s on a never-ending quest to be cute. Unfortunately, she’s so over-the-top cute that other people think that her avatar is probably controlled by a boy. That reminds me of my experiences in Final Fantasy XIV. Basically, 90% of the people who play female miqotes are likely dudes…

— Whoa, did she dye the entire zone pink too?!

— In the older MMOs, there’s a whole lot of waiting and camping. The games were designed to explicitly waste your life. They still are, but it’s a little easier to come home after a long day and instantly find something engaging to do. God, I wasted so many hours in Final Fantasy XI just waiting for rare monsters to pop. Good thing I was a college student back then. If I had gotten hooked on MMOs as an adult, I probably would’ve lost my job.

— Who is this Elsa Kanzaki that they keep bringing up? I thought she was just some random popular idol in this universe, but the fact that people keep mentioning her makes me think that she’ll eventually show up in GGO as a player.

— Suddenly, a trio of male avatars are approaching Karen’s location, and she starts to freak out. Still, it’s always just men in the field. This game does have other female avatars, but you rarely ever see them unless they’re story-important (i.e. Sinon and LLENN). That’s just… weird.

— Hah, she manages to blend into her environment.

— The jokes practically write themselves.

— God, this animation, man…

— All of a sudden, Karen now has the taste for hunting down other players. Ah, she’s one of those people.

— It’s remarkable that she hasn’t been ganked first by max-level players. That’s why I stopped playing games that mixed PvP and PvE. I don’t mind fighting other players on an even level, but when I’m in the teens and some level 80 starts ganking me, that’s just bullshit.

— Like I said, you’ll only ever see other female avatars in the field if they’re also important characters. Her name is Pitohui, but you can call her Pito for short. It’s better than spelling your name in all caps, at least. Nevertheless, it’d be dumb if it turns out she’s that Elsa person in the real world, but this is SAO so I wouldn’t put it past the author.

— Pito tattooed her face to keep guys from hitting on her. Sadly, I’d believe it. There are some bad tattoos out there, but for the most part, it doesn’t make a difference to me.

— Yay, Karen finally makes a friend.

— So… does this show have a plot? SAO was about escaping the evil game, then saving your waifu from the evil NTR man. SAO II was about hunting down a killer, and… uh… AIDS? On the other hand, I have no clue what SAO Alternative is about at all. Tall girl plays a short girl and… then… what?

— Darling?!

— But really, I can’t even fathom how a gun can be considered cute.

— What the fuck am I even watching? First, the gun is cute, then Pito tells Ms. All Caps that “P-Chan” is a good name for a gun. Now, she’s waxing poetic about how you gotta kill lots of people with your gun, because it’ll never betray you!

— The Elsa girl just came up again. Yep, Pito is Elsa. This seals it. This fucking author.

— Pito: “If we ever do meet in real life, I’d reveal my true identity.”

— Pito then tells Karen to beat her one day in a one-on-one match. If Karen wins, she gets to meet Pito in real life. Jesus, is that really going to be the plot? Why can’t Karen also build her own harem and ruthlessly kill a guy who is trying to NTR her husbando? Why does she get stuck with such a crappy quest?

— And because Pito is so tall in game, she’s probably super short in real life, huh?

— Finally, the episode ends with Pito telling Karen all about Squad Jam, the tournament that we saw in last week’s episode. I personally can’t stop squinting my eyes at Pito’s oddly drawn hips. That looks painful.

It’s probably a mistake on my part to start blogging this show, since by nature, shounen stories are designed to move at a snail’s pace. Still, let’s see how far I can go before I throw in the towel.

— I wish the bad guys would get more character development. Being a hero is all fine and dandy, but I’m often more fascinated in not only what would make someone turn to evil but also stay there.

— Deku blushes when Uraraka gets close to him, then she starts blushing in return when she remembers that she might actually like him. Yep, that’s it. That’s all you going to get, folks. Come back in a bajillion episodes if you want to see if their relationship ever goes anywhere. That’s the curse of shounens. On the plus side, at least Deku isn’t pining for a girl who prefers his edgy best friend.

— I’ve pretty much forgotten almost everything about Class 1-B. Can you blame me? Who can keep so many Quirks straight in their heads? This is why the show always quickly reminds us what some rando character can do, but it’s quickly forgotten anyways.

— The worst character.

— Those treetops look terrible.

— So these ladies will help train the kids, and according to Deku, this is their 12th year on the job. That means they’re like… in their 30s? No matter this lady is so mad. So is it impossible to update your costume or something? Do you always have to prance around in the same outfit that you wore as a kid?

— Then we have some punk kid with a Jojo hat. Okay then.

— Basically, Class 1-A has to make their way to camp, and they’ll have to cut through “The Beast’s Forest.” Just one beast? Anyways, one of the Pussycats can apparently control dirt. Nice. Dirt.

— The texture on that cliff wall looks as equally terrible as the treetops. Yeesh.

— The worst character needs to pee, but he quickly runs into this monster made out of dirt. Deku doesn’t hesitate to save the pervert, but I wish he really hadn’t. It’s not like the adults would have let anyone die anyways.

— Pixie-Bob? The blonde lady who got mad at Deku is named Pixie-Bob? Isn’t that cute cat? Oh, right… they’re the Pussycats. Hah.

— According to Aizawa, this particular class is getting an accelerated education program, because the bad guys have become more active than ever. I’m more amazed that none of the kids’ parents have tried to pull them out of the school.

— Instantly, the four hero bros leap into action and take down Pixie-Bob’s first dirt creation. You know who they are. They’re the ones who have hogged the spotlight since the start of the series. Honestly, Deku is the hero and all, but he’s got the most generic power. Too bad it seems to be one of the strongest, because, well, he’s the hero.

— Luckily, we get to see the rest of the kids demonstrate their abilities as they make their way through the forest. Still, this feels like a montage crafted simply to remind us what each of these kids can do. Hopefully, the anime will have gotten this out of their system, and we can pick up the pace.

— Damn, who pissed in this kid’s cereal?

— I never like these training episodes anyway. There are too many characters, so there’s rarely any meaningful character development. Honestly, I don’t care about the bit players. It’s like watching Dragon Ball for Yamcha.

— Oh look, the four hero bros continue to receive all the praise!

— Deku, dude, get a longer tie… or just don’t wear one at all. Look at Bakugo. He’s an ass, but he looks way cooler than you. Image matters!

— If you really wanna be nitpicky, your tie should ideally reach your belt. But what am I even doing talking about ties? I guess I just don’t have much else to say right now. Not until the villains make their move, anyway.

— So Pixie-Bob starts embarrassing herself around the four hero bros, and her partner simply says, “She’s a little desperate, since she’s about the suitable age for, you know…” Ah anime, never change.

— Deku tries to befriend the mean kid, but he quickly gets a punch to the balls. Wow. Rude. But this gets us the best line of the entire episode.

— Still, the episode is more than half over and barely anything has happened.

— Even the gyoza gets the same lazy coloring treatment as the cliff walls and treetops!

— Deku is really obsessed about Kota. Like why do you care so much? So what if he hates heroes? Lots of people hate heroes. Let them be.

— Oh good, there’s going to be a hot springs scene. That means the worst character gets to have lines.

— Well, Iida ain’t wrong.

— Haha, some kid violating the girls’ privacy is so funny! What a great joke!

— Luckily, Kota, the mean kid, is able to stop the worst character in his tracks. Look, the worst character doesn’t even deserve a name. From here on out, he will only be known as the worst character.

— Welp, time to just get a new face.

— Dude, that’s what I’m sayin’! 

— The invisible girl is clearly the hottest.

— Anyways, Kota trips and falls, so Deku has to save the kid. He then brings Kota to the Pussycats and we get a heavy dose of backstory. Again, Deku is really concerned that a child doesn’t care for heroes. I dunno, I just find it odd.

— Aw man, Kota’s a jerk, but I get how he feels. His parents were heroes, but they died in the field of battle. As a result, the kid ended up becoming an orphan. Look, if you’re hellbent on being a hero, maybe you shouldn’t have kids. At the very least, if you’re going to have kids, you should retire and find a “boring” job. Sure, sure, if you have the ability to save lives, you should do so. But isn’t it irresponsible to bring a life into this world only to abandon it? In terms of utility, being a hero that can save society easily trumps being a parent to a single child. Then again, utility would also tell you not to have that kid in the first place. Of course, Kota’s parents didn’t plan on dying, but something has to give. You can’t do it all. You can’t be the greatest hero and also the greatest parent all at the same time. Something has to give, and sadly, their decisions eventually led up to them abandoning their kid. That sounds harsh, but I’m frustrated with people’s selfish desires to procreate. People have kids for all the dumbest reasons. Oh, it’ll save our broken relationship. Oh, we need to continue the family name! Oh, we just want kids even though we can’t provide for them. Selfish, selfish, selfish. Lives are too precious to be created on a whim.

— Maybe I’m just biased. After all, I don’t plan on having kids. Even though they don’t exist, I can’t bear the thought of letting them down.

— In the morning, Aizawa has Bakugo chuck the same ball from the fitness test (episode 5, I think). The kid only manages to best his previous record by four meters. Well, it’s only been three months since they started attending this academy. As a result, their Quirks have barely developed. So yeah, more training to follow. I can only wonder when the bad guys will finally strike. For now, however, this episode was a bit dull.

They had sex?! Period sex too?! 

Phew, turns out it was just a dream! Lately, Tsukasa just can’t stop having hot sexy dreams about sleeping with a vampire! God, how embarrassing!

Tsukasa has even been spacing out in class. By the way, I didn’t know professors still called on college kids and had them read out loud in class. I thought that ended after high school. And why are the subs in the middle of the screen?

Anyways, because Akimura is a vampire, his arrest doesn’t end up in the news. In fact, his disappearance is attributed to him fucking off to Canada of all places. As a result, Tsukasa can’t help but wonder if she had imagined everything… especially the tongue.

We flashback to last week’s episode, and Anzai had started to undress the girl. Luckily for her, he sedated himself before he could, y’know, go any further.

And yet, it didn’t look as though the girl would’ve stopped him had he not shot himself up. I swear, vampire stories always manage to cook up the weirdest characters. All the dudes are rapey, and all the girls want it… as long as the dudes are vampires. But if you’re just a plain ol’ human, ugh, get your non-vampire dick away from me!

Magically, Anzai turned into a bishie after tasting Tsukasa’s blood.

Yeah, sorry for slipping you the tongue!

And don’t get too worked up on that serial killer friend of yours!

Nah, it’s gotta be the tongue.

So the flashback is over, and Tsukasa starts thinking about her friend. Yeah, I get it… they had known each other for years. But still, he did kinda rape and kill three women. Afterwards, she starts to think about Anzai some more.

Of course it was her first kiss. It always is.

Yeah, me too! I could go for some fresh air, though. Let’s pull back this inconspicuous curtain!

Boo!

Wait, he’s the one who got scared? What the fuck is he doing on her balcony? Why are modern vampires so obsessed with balconies?

He then pretty much admits that he’s been stalking her, but does that bother Tsukasa one bit? Nooooope.

She just feels guilty that she hasn’t been thinking about her rapey, killy friend enough!

Anzai suddenly starts negging her… while standing on her balcony… after stalking her for the past few weeks.

And that is what sets her off. Him pinning her against the wall and slipping her the tongue in last week’s episode didn’t make her mad. Him randomly showing up on her balcony didn’t make her mad. But telling her to get a little thicc? OOOOOOOH!

Anzai eventually has to fuck off for some official police work, but he magically drops his wallet somehow.

As a result, the girl runs all the way to the scene of the crime. She even sees cop cars outside the building.

She then even climbs the building. How was the place not quarantined?! What are the cop cars for if some rando girl can just get onto the premises!

So we have some sob story where this girl went nuts and killed her husband.

She didn’t want to, but the husband cut himself then offered his blood up to her. The next thing she knew, she had gutted him and drunk his blood. Wew lads.

Wait, devil are the official term for vampires? I thought it was just a metaphor. In fact, I thought vampire was the official term for vampires!

Tsukasa later slips away unnoticed… except by Anzai, of course. Nothing she does goes unnoticed by him. As a result, he later pays her a visit by creepily staring at her from the balcony again.

Very creepily.

But then he realizes that she just wanted to return his wallet, so now we have this romantic moment out of nowhere as a gentle breeze lovingly caresses their hair!

Nevertheless, he feels the need to warn her that vampires are always on the verge of snapping, so you can’t just offer up a cut finger to them. Anzai goes even further and says the following:

BUT YOU PUSHED HER

Afterwards, Anzai hangs out with his cop buddies at a bar and hears the good news! Yes, sex between humans and vampires is legal now! But wait, there’s more!

You need to pay some poor doctor to watch you guys fuck!

Anyways, Anzai continues to regularly visit Tsukasa through her balcony. Why? Shrug. In fact, she keeps trying to offer him stuff. Want a kotatsu? Want some nabe? Why can’t we just talk? And yet, she won’t ask the simplest question: why is he even here?

They’re supposed to meet up later so he can carry the groceries. Unfortunately, when she went to return a book that she had borrowed from her professor, the latter starts acting all creepy.

Really? The professor is a rapist too?

Don’t drink that! It might be roofied!

OH GOD HE IS A RAPIST

NOT THE TONGUE AGAIN

Fondling her breasts like he’s poring over a dissertation!

That’s an audible “No!” from the girl, folks. You all heard it! This is important, because after she tries to smash his head in with a mug, this is what he tells her:

DUDE

OH COME ON

SO THEN HE STARTS UP AGAIN. I NEED AN ADULT A VAMPIRE

Well, all you had to do was say the magic words and a vampire will appear right outside your window.

Anzai proceeds to beat the professor within an inch of the guy’s life.

He then holds Tsukasa’s… head? Afterwards, Anzai makes his escape, because even though he’s just a cop trying to stop a rapist in his tracks, he’s not allowed to rage out as a vampire. Oh well.

When he returns home, he discovers that he had gotten Tsukasa’s blood on one of his hands. Yeah, wash it off. You wouldn’t wanna feel any temptation. You wouldn’t want to sin in the eyes of the Lord!

Wash it good, vampire cop! Wash it with your tongue!

Wait, why are you taking your belt off? Are you gonna wash it with your dick?! Why’s it gotta be like this!

Rest assured, the professor has been “dismissed.” Not jailed or anything like that. Just dismissed.

But now, the poor girl is having sex dreams about him. Therapy, girl. You need therapy.

But instead of therapy, Tsukasa can’t help but wonder where Anzai might have disappeared to…

OH NO GODDAMMIT VAMPIRES WHO JERK IT TO YOUR BLOOD ARE NOT THERAPISTS

Let’s sneak into her room and smell the bony girl while she sleeps!

She scared him again! Can’t a grown man sneak into a woman’s apartment in the middle of the night through her balcony without being scared? What has this country come to?

Gee, I wonder why that’d be the case! She’s only been slipped the tongue twice and nearly raped! Look at her thousand yard stare.

And yet… Tsukasa’s not afraid of Anzai. See, there’s a good way and a bad way to slip your tongue into a girl’s mouth. If you’re a sexy vampire with bags under your eyes, you’re good to go! If you’re a lame-o professor, then it’s a no go!

But when she tells him that she’s been having nightmares (about her rapey professor), he pulls her out of the covers and holds her close to him.

Being hugged by a vampire is such a religious experience!

And with that, our episode comes to an end. This episode really gave me a good laugh. Phew. I really needed this. Boy, I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Again, on paper, the show sounds like it has potential. Individuals are trapped in a world in which they are forced to relive their high school years over and over. Not only that, J-pop has the power to turn your friends into brainless monsters. Unfortunately, once you get beyond the surface details, the execution of the story just isn’t very interesting. The direction appears to eschew substance for style, and rather than lean heavily on the psychological aspect of being trapped in a fake world, it quickly unveils the truth. I’m just tickled that the premise is all about escaping a generic high school anime series, and in order to do so, the hero must have generic shounen-flavored battles.

— If you’ll recall, last week’s episode ended with a graduation ceremony suddenly turning in an opening ceremony. Ritsu, the hero, suddenly snaps in front of all his classmates, so μ — I’m just gonna say Mu from here on out — suddenly appears out of thin air and starts singing. Her song sends certain students into a frenzy, and they begin attacking the “awakened” ones like Ritsu.

— Speakers even appear out of thin air to play terrible J-pop. What a ghastly world this is.

— Shogo, some guy two two-toned hair, tries to aid our protagonist, but Ritsu acts as though it’s Shogo who can’t be trusted. This is the part that confuses me.

— Ritsu nevertheless tries to escape with Marie, but she can’t even see the “Digiheads” that are chasing them. Shogo tells Ritsu to just ditch the girl. She’s gonna be fine, because she’s still stuck in the cave. But we pretty boys gotta stick together.

— Individuals like this guy sit on the sidelines and offer vague commentary. It’s such an anime storytelling thing to do.

— But despite this being a virtual world that Mu can control, she’s not omniscient. You can actually hide from her. As a result, Ritsu and Shogo eventually manage to elude the Digiheads. They then proceed to stare deeply into each other’s eyes. Look how fabulous they look. This is what you get when you put an idol — even a virtual one — in charge of a world.

— They then butt heads, because why not!

— Ritsu wants answers, but Shogo is dancing around the explanation for some odd reason. I have no idea why he won’t just explain it. Sure, Ritsu might not believe him, but so what? What does Shogo have to lose anyway?

— This goddamn cutesy mascot then appears out of nowhere, and she doesn’t offer up much of an explanation either! All Aria reveals is that she was the one who called out to Ritsu in last week’s episode. Remember how he heard a voice in the middle of listening to Mu single? Welp, it was this girl, and she now wants Ritsu to help them rescue Mu. Rescue Mu from what, though? Again, people suck at explaining anything in this show, so Ritsu just walks away from the scene.

— Despite the fact that he just saw people turn into monsters — and despite the fact that he just literally saw some chibi mascot magically appear in front of him — Ritsu starts running through all sorts of convoluted explanations for what might be causing this “phenomenon.” M-m-maybe it’s a pandemic! Maybe I’m crazy!

— Meanwhile, Shogo and Aria discuss the fact that other people woke up along with Ritsu at the graduation/opening ceremony. Some of them weren’t so lucky. But a few did manage to get away. We soon cut to two such individuals. This is Kotaro and Suzuna. I’ve no clue what role they play. I just know that they’re also trying to run away from the Digiheads.

— When Ritsu returns home, he finds that there’s a huge static-like distortion on his poor pupper’s head. His mom also has the same problem. I guess we three types of people in this world. We have normal guys like Ritsu. Normal guys can either try to escape and be aligned with Mu. Then you have Mu’s footsoldiers. They seem normal enough on the surface, but when Mu starts singing, they turn into Digiheads. Then finally, we have the NPCs that don’t matter. They just have static for heads.

— The focus then turns to Mifue. In last week’s episode, all we saw was how her NPC mother kept trying to feed her. The girl now decides to run away.

— Meanwhile, Ritsu tries to get in touch with his friends, because he wants to conduct an experiment. While they are on the phone, Ritsu plays one of Mu’s song. Instantly, his friends turn into Digiheads. Welp, he can now cross one possible explanation off the list.

— We now see Mu talking to a black-haired girl in the middle of some ominous looking room. Mu is despondent at the fact that she can’t keep everyone happy in this shitty world in which you’re always stuck as a high school student. The black-haired girl then stands up and proclaims that she and her group — the Ostinato Musicians — will show troublemakers like Ritsu the way. Great. We have a name for the enemy faction.

— Mu starts singing, and Ritsu’s friends instantly track him down. But luckily for him, Shogo shows up to save the day again. But does Ritsu thank the guy for saving his ass twice now? Nope. He doesn’t even stop to talk or ask any further questions. He just… leaves while Shogo tells him where they can meet up.

— We see Ritsu get on a train. We also see Kotaro and Suzuna hop onto a bus. Mifue has caught a taxi and intends to leave for Tokyo. She reveals that she wants to try and find her real mom. Okay then. Basically, all four kids want to just ditch the city. As viewers, however, we know better.

— When they reach the border of the city, they all get kicked off of their chosen modes of transportation. Mu suddenly appears to them, and apologizes that she hasn’t gotten around to creating more of the world. Nevertheless, she’ll try to keep them happy if they would tell her what she wants…

— This is less an anime-flavored The Truman Show where the hero slowly questions his sanity and then tries to escape his surreal world. Imagine if the storytelling had been a little more patient. Imagine if things had slowly gone wrong for Ritsu instead of going nuts instantly at the end of last week’s episode. But instead, he’s just going to join the forces of good and do battle against the forces of evil with like… power levels and shit. What also sucks is that Mu is just another misguided maiden who the hero needs to save. I don’t mind the fact that she doesn’t fully understand that what she’s doing is wrong, but the fact that Ritsu has to save her instantly locks us into the blandest path possible for their future relationship. There’s no ambiguity here. She’s too cute to abandon!

There are way too many shows to get through, so let’s just get started. 

Dances with the Dragons Ep. 2

After two whole episodes, I still have no real clue what’s going on in this series. Part of that is my fault for not paying attention. I’ll admit that upfront. Every time the anime tries to discuss its politics, my eyes glaze over. The other part of the problem, however, is that the storytelling just plain sucks. 2/3 of this week’s episode is clumsily delivered exposition. Our heroes are hired to guide Cardinal Mouldeen around the city, but in practice, all they do is stand around and talk our ears off about the current state of affairs. It. Is. So. Boring. Near the end of the episode, we finally get a bit of action, but it’s still shrouded in mystery. Gayus and Gigina bump into the Jushi-whatever serial killer, and she wants revenge on them for killing her beloved. Unfortunately, they have no clue who she’s talking about. But our boys only kill dragons, right? So I can only guess that she’s a dragon-lover. In the end, they can’t beat her, so they just bounce.

Gundam Build Divers Ep. 2

This is some corny ass shit. Riku tries to test his Gundam’s Trans-Am mode, but it can’t take it. He’s not strong enough and his Gunpla isn’t built well enough. Okay, sure. But Sarah, the mysterious girl from last week’s episode, cries out that the Gundam is suffering. It’s suffering, y’all. The Gundam has a soul, and you have to be in tune with its kokoro if you want to become the number one Gunpla Diver!!! Ugh. So what is Sarah? Is she going to be revealed as some kind of “ghost” within GBN? Lame.

High School DxD Hero Ep. 0

This is the first time I’ve ever touched this series, so I have no clue what’s going on. All I know is that the harem lead has gone berserk, but if you play some shitty song about breasts — a song that was recorded in front of a bunch of kids — it’ll calm him down.

Then when the main haremette goes topless and lets him touch one of her nipples, he finally turns back to a human. In the past, we would get like four or five of these trashy harem shows in a single season. I guess we should thank our lucky stars that they’ve largely been replaced with a torrential pour of shows about VRMMOS, isekai, and idols instead. Nevertheless, this series has somehow spawned four anime adaptations, so it’s gotta be doing something right. Let’s see how long I can last with it.

Hinamatsuri Ep. 2

Women are treating Nitta differently, because they think he has a daughter. He thus tries to redouble his efforts to be a playboy, which leaves Hina feeling lonely and neglected. In the end, the two of them have a “heart-to-heart.” Since this is no ordinary father-daughter drama, however, Hina and Nitta just end up having a blast at a cabaret club. Honestly, I’m really enjoying this show so far. It’s a goofy comedy about being a young and single dad in Japan. It’s not particularly deep or insightful, which is why it won’t get its own post, but it’s probably my second favorite show of the season. Oh yeah, this episode also features a subplot about Anzu, another weirdo girl sent to Earth. Her mission is to destroy Hina, but she just ends up being homeless instead. Whoops.

Hisone to Maso-tan Ep. 1

Cute show. At first, I was like, “How on Earth are you going to fool anyone into thinking that a the dragon pictured above is actually an aircraft?” But color me surprised when the poor animal somehow transforms into one. Oh yeah, our heroine can only “pilot” the dragon by first allowing it to swallow her up. She then sits in its esophagus full of gross fleshy matter and fluids, but thanks to some fancy helmet, she can still see what’s going on outside the dragon. No wonder people kept making vore jokes about the show. I hadn’t seen the episode yet, so I was really confused for a while there.

Regarding the main character, Hisone apparently lacks a filter, so she tends to hurt people’s feelings whenever she opens her mouth. I usually dislike people like her, but I really enjoyed the way she eventually stood up for herself and blew up in front of everyone. I’m not liking Nao, though…

Anyways, I hope we got the set-up out of the way, and the show can introduce its main plot in next week’s episode. If this is just a slice-of-life series about a girl flying a dragon, then that’s going to be disappointing.

Libra of Nil Admirari Ep. 2

The first half of the episode is basically Tsugumi meeting each and every single one of the hot boys that she’ll be living with for the rest of the series. Once she’s finally settles into her new home, she gets to have her first day out in the field. This pretty much just boils down to visiting countless bookstores in search of glow-in-the-dark books. Unfortunately, she just can’t find any so she starts to get discouraged. These scenes literally consist of Tsugumi staring intently at a bunch of books in the hopes that they start radiating negative emotions. Watching paint dry is more exciting than this. Anyways, when our heroine’s self-esteem is at its lowest, a man is extremely pleased to learn that he’s not cursed. This is somehow the pick-me-up that Tsugumi needs, so the episode ends on a high note. Hah, okay. Whatever floats her boat. This anime is apparently based on a Playstation Vita game. I can’t even imagine how this would even work as a game.

Piano no Mori Ep. 1

Piano no Mori’s story is a little too… mystical for me. Oooh, a mysterious piano in the forest that hasn’t been cared for or tuned in years! It won’t sing its song just for anyone. Like, it literally makes no sound no matter how hard you pound on its keys. Nuh-uh. You need to be worthy if you want to coax out even a single note. What? Could you imagine this being applied to any other show? I have a cast iron skillet that simply won’t heat up on the stove. But if you’ve got the God Hands, only then can you cook with it! And no matter what you throw on the pan, it turns into a steak! Yeah, that would be silly, huh?

Also, I don’t think the show takes it seriously enough that a bunch of kids will bully the poor transfer student into showing his penis to them. Like what the fuck?

Rokuhoudou Yotsuiro Biyori Ep. 1

There are some delicious-looking anime food on this show.

I only wish I actually liked ikura.

But the sweets are the real standouts.

It’s also nice to see the chef actually go through the process of menu planning as the season changes. The rest of the episode is a little too slow for my taste, but this is by design. The languid pacing adds to the chill, zen-like feel of the restaurant. It’s tucked in its own little pocket away from the hustle and bustle of city life. You need to walk down a path outlined with bamboo trees just to get to the front door. The place is so old-fashioned, you gotta wonder if they even accept credit cards. Don’t bet on them having a public wifi. Does the place really do enough business to stay afloat? Well, I guess that’s not something we really have to worry about in fiction, huh?

As an aside, you can definitely feel the differences in cultures. You wouldn’t even think of picking up a stranger’s kid here in the US. The mother would flip her shit.

Shokugeki no Soma S3 Ep. 14

Our heroes have to pass a series of exams in order to become second year students. Unfortunately, Azami has rigged the entire process to force the “rebels” out. For instance, Yukihira and his group has to cook up the best possible salmon dish. Unfortunately, they’ve been given salmon that had taken the long, arduous journey upstream to lay their eggs. Afterwards, the salmon will stick around for a week or two to defend their nests, but they’ll soon die. Basically, they’re just not very good for eating. Nevertheless, the instructor in charge of administering the exam can’t help but cackle like an evil witch, because she is just that eager to fail a bunch of young, aspiring chefs. This is exactly why I don’t cover this show in more depth. The conflict between Azami and our heroes is just too ridiculous.

Call it silly if you want, but even though I love cooking and I love food (who doesn’t?), just seeing shounen conventions applied to them instantly sucks any enjoyment I might have had out the window. I used to watch all of the cooking competitions religiously. Some good (Top Chef), some not so good (Hell’s Kitchen). And y’know what? Those shows were entertaining without the need to resort to over-the-top villainy. There were asshole contestants, sure, but you didn’t have an evil judge conspiring to screw people over. If you think I have the wrong expectations for Shokugeki no Soma, maybe you’re right. I can certainly understand where that sentiment comes from. Nevertheless, I honestly just can’t stand the show’s current arc.

Anyways, Yukihira’s team manages to find good quality salmon anyway. They then proceed to put together an amazing dish. Ho hum. Erina also finds herself blushing around the shounen hero lately, so there’s also that. But what I said regarding shounen romances in the My Hero Academia post also applies here:

“Yep, that’s it. That’s all you going to get, folks. Come back in a bajillion episodes if you want to see if their relationship ever goes anywhere. That’s the curse of shounens.”

The best part is that Yukihira isn’t even competing against an edgy best friend. His main competition is own damn father.

Toji no Miko Ep. 14

Behind that screen is the mysterious hooded toji who has been stealing noro. She looks like a whole new character, but then again, it’s always possible to change your hairstyle. Plus, I can’t imagine they would just kill off Yume in the first cour, right? Anyways, this is a Mai-centric episode. Her father wants to pull her out of toji school, because it has gotten increasingly dangerous. Nevertheless, she wants to fight! He then takes her to some fancy laboratory, but this is anime. As a result, scientists are always doing something exceedingly reckless:

“Tamahagane steel is a metal that can affect the netherworld while existing in this world. By using that characteristic, we can blur the boundary between this world and the netherworld…”

Sounds like a plan, dude. I can’t see how this could possibly blow up in your face. Also, because this is anime, super-important laboratories are always poorly defended. As a result, the mysterious hooded toji simply waltzes in and steels whatever noro that they had been working on. Mai tries to stop her, but she’s no Kaname. Nevertheless, seeing her bravery in battle convinces her father to let her remain a toji. Not a great episode, but it could’ve been worse.

Uchuu Senkan Tiramisu Ep. 2

Poor pupper.

Oh, I guess you guys are probably expecting food pictures. If you’re only interested in anime, feel free to bail out now. Anyways, these photos are from my visit to Quince, an Italian-inspired restaurant in San Francisco. The night started off with a series of amuse bouches.

Abalone will always win me over.

On the other hand, I’m not keen on pomegranate.

What we have here is Nantucket Bay scallop crudo, green apple, knoll farm horseradish and finger lime. I had this meal back in November, so it was a bit odd to get such a bright and sunny dish in the middle of fall. Tasted great, though.

The second course was sea urchin creme brulee, riso venere, crab, grapefruit and chervil. No matter how many times I try to love sea urchin, I just can’t. It’s too rich. Rich and slimy. The creme brulee itself was nice, though.

Tagliolini all uovo, American sturgeon caviar, quail egg and smoked potato. Simple, but pasta rarely needs to be complicated.

At this point, bread service came to the table.

Pici di castagne della casa, ragu of goose with pomegranate. Yeah, more pomegranate, but this time, it’s in the gastrique. This was probably the least memorable dish of the night.

St. Canut Farm suckling pig, belgian endive and potimarron pumpkin with quince mostarda. Not surprisingly, the best bite was the cube of pork belly in the back. Also, the quince mostarda added such a nice sweetness that helped to cut through the fattiness of the pork.

Your cheese plate with honey and more quince. I chose all the soft cheeses, because that’s what I prefer.

After all that rich food, you get a palette cleanser: lime sorbetto, honey granola and yogurt panna cotta.

Then finally, dessert was served: nocciolina e gelatina, cocoa nib coulis and nougat gelato. Kinda looks like a croquette, huh? After all the beautiful dishes, I was kinda taken aback by this chunk of hazelnut on my plate. The whole thing kinda tasted like peanut butter and jam… but y’know, with hazelnut. Ah well. I’ll be headed back to Quince in June, so I guess I’ll see how the menu has changed for the summer.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about this anime. I was hoping for wall-to-wall tension as Sugimoto and Asirpa raced for the hidden gold. What I got instead — for this week anyways — was goofball humor mixed with Asirpa’s good ol’ survival tips.

— Right off the bat, Asirpa drools as she teaches Sugimoto how to trap squirrels. We’ll soon see, however, that squirrel traps are surprisingly effective against humans as well.

— Animation-wise, Geno Studio is not off to a hot start.

— So our duo visits Otaru, one of the largest cities in the Hokkaido region. According to the narrator, it was once considered “The Wall Street of the North.” Huh, I wonder what’s happened to it since then. After all, this is actually the first time I’ve even heard of this city. I’m no expert of Japan by any means, but still, that’s quite a fall from grace.

— Basically, it’s information-gathering time. Sugimoto hits up the communal bathhouses while Asirpa pesters random people on the streets. Unfortunately, none of the escaped prisoners are dumb enough to show their skin around town.

— Luckily for them, one of the prisoners has decided to come to them. Armed with just a gun, this guy thinks he can get a jump on a trained soldier and an Ainu hunter. Granted, he doesn’t know he’s up against the “Immortal Sugimoto,” but still…

— Oh yeah, he also gets caught in a squirrel trap. I mean, it’s not like the wire is even super thin.

— According to the prisoner, they had all planned to stick together until one of them started trying to kill everyone. In other words, he realized that you needed to skin people to decipher the map.

— Unfortunately, Sugimoto can’t get anymore information out of the guy, because Asirpa is quite the pacifist. I guess that’s to be expected. The girl is apparently adept at drawing, so whenever they manage to catch a prisoner, they’ll just have her copy the tattoos onto paper. Still, don’t you think it’s unwise to free a dangerous criminal? Does she really want to risk having them come after her and Sugimoto later?

— This is what I’m talking about. Random bits of humor is fine and all. But this show has a lot of these goofy moments. Plus, there isn’t really a whole lot of danger in the story. I just feel vaguely bored and disengaged while I’m watching this show. Last week’s episode worked, because there was first the mystery of who had killed the prisoner, which was then followed by a serious battle against a bar. In this week’s episode, we’re catching prisoners with squirrel traps, then making squirrel meatballs. No, really. Squirrel meatballs. We’ll get there.

— Anyways, the prisoner bites it when someone suddenly snipes him out of nowhere. To make matters worse, his blood somehow gets all over Asirpa’s sketch. Whoops.

— A hooded figure is our shooter, and at this point, I got my hopes up a bit. Finally, we’re going to get some serious excitement, right?

— …aaaand he falls for a squirrel trap, too.

— He only loses his gun, so he’s not completely defenseless just yet. He and Sugimoto will still have to throwdown. But then the narrator suddenly chimes in out of nowhere to tell us that our uninvited guest is a soldier from the army’s 7th Division, aka the most badass, super duper division of them all! I’m sorry, but is this really information that I needed to know? He’s a soldier, so I know he’s trained. I know he’s dangerous. I just don’t really see why you need to break the flow of the storytelling in order to inform the audience of such an inconsequential fact.

— Yes, I know that the 7th Division is also after the gold. But so what? It could be any division, and the effect would still be the same.

— Look at this guy’s face. Like is he really that emotionless or is Geno Studio just fucking this up?

— Sugimoto: “There’s one way to not die that I learned in the war. Don’t be killed.” It’s true. People die when they are killed.

— The soldier eventually falls into a river, and Sugimoto assumes that he’ll soon die. As a result, he and Asirpa can rest easy and retire to their spacious hut. Looks like a tight fit.

— And now, we get to Asirpa’s Surviving the Wilderness TV special. What’s on the menu tonight? Squirrels, of course! Tune in today as she teaches you how to skin, gut and cook a squirrel! We’re making chitatap, an Ainu delicacy! Don’t worry, it’s more than just steamed ham!

— By the way, I found this paper on Ainu food. It’s 16 pages long, though.

— The girl also guilts Sugimoto into eating raw squirrel brain. Mmm-hmm, sounds like a treat.

— The guy doesn’t care much for the brain, but he definitely approves of the chitatap!

— Is it really safe to light a fire in a hut made out of leaves? I wouldn’t really know. You’d never catch me camping, and I was one of the few people who refused to watch Yuru Camp last season.

— Elsewhere, the 7th Division manage to fish up that soldier that Sugimoto had just dealt with. Welp.

— The next day, yet another prisoner falls into a squirrel trap. Like seriously, what is this?

— But this guy is apparently some sort of Japanese Houdini. He manages to slip away while our heroes were distracted by a rabbit.

— Now, at this point, I thought that Sugimoto would give the prisoner a chase, and they’d both run into the 7th Division. They would then have a tense battle for their lives or something. But no, these two idiots fall into a river, then they start desperately trying to start a fire before they succumb to hypothermia. Hey, this could be a tension filled moment, too! Eh, not so fast, my friend! The story takes on a decidedly silly tone as these two comically stumble around in their efforts to keep themselves warm.

— And just look at this. From this angle, the goofball prisoner is making a face right at Sugimoto. But when we cut closer, he’s just dazed, staring up into the sky.

— Eventually, the prisoner somehow regurgitates a bullet that he had swallowed, and the two men use that to start a small campfire. Just look how happy they are.

— Sugimoto then hears all about how the lead prisoner — the one that had broken them all out of jail — is apparently an old badass dude. Like, we can’t just have dangerous criminals on the lam. They also have to be anime supervillains.

— Then we cut to this guy in the 7th Division! What the hell? He looks like a Bleach villain reject!

— Well, that’s the end of our episode. I wonder if Asirpa ate that rabbit without Sugimoto. Anyways, I just wanted something decent to watch on Mondays, but it doesn’t look like Golden Kamuy is going to deliver.

If you ever want to score some cheap points with the anime-viewing audience, just say that your favorite food is curry. This saves you the trouble of having to be creative. When Little Aoi was on the verge of death, she actually asked the ayakashi if she could eat her mother’s curry and rice. If you watch nothing but anime, you’d think that Japanese curry is the food of the gods. Every goddamn anime character lists it as their favorite food. So when I finally got the chance to try Japanese curry, boy did it not live up to the hype. Indian curry is so spicy! Thai curry is so fragrant with all the herbs and coconut milk! Japanese curry is… salty? “Roux-y?” Don’t get me wrong, it’s fine. If you put a plate of tonkotsu curry in front of me, I’d finish it no problem. But it’s probably the last thing I’d ever get at a Japanese restaurant. It’s just the hype is so crazy. During the Mawaru Penguindrum craze, I even remember seeing bloggers put up photos of their attempts to make Ringo’s curry. Sorry, just felt like going on a mini-rant. Let’s get on with the rest of the episode.

— For doing a good job feeding the chicken man last week, Aoi gets a makeover! Guuuuurl, you look so fab~!

— It’s interesting that these faceless girls don’t freak Aoi out one bit. Try to imagine a person standing in front of you, but simply lack any facial features. Where you’d see eyes, a nose, and a mouth, there’s nothing but flesh. Go ahead. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t find it unnerving.

— She then gets this hairpin, which will magically bloom overtime. Sounds cool, right? Not exactly. When it blooms completely, it means that Aoi’s time is up. Odanna teasingly reminds her to pay her debt soon. Oh boy, it’s almost like Beauty and the Beast.

— But none of this interests me. I just want to see the girl open a restaurant. I want to see the menu she’ll put together, the staff she’ll hire, and how she plans to operate it. The romance in this show is the last thing that I care about mostly because the girl is stuck in a situation that she never wanted.

— And I think that’s why shoujo romances never quite appeal to me. The heroine almost always finds herself in the less and ideal situation, and she’s supposed to just bear it with a smile and make everyone around her happy. Take this very anime, for instance. Aoi simply has to repay the debt, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If you thrust that fate upon me, I’d come away very bitter and resentful, which is why I can never relate to a heroine like Aoi.

— This is apparently the capital of the hidden realm where the king lives. In fact, the whole place seems kinda small. On Earth, you can blast off into the sky and eventually reach the mind-warping vastness of space. I wonder what would happen if you tried the same thing in the hidden realm. It’s probably not even possible, huh?

— When Odanna gets off the ship, some random nobody yells out, “Such a fine ogre as always!” I’ve no clue what that even means, but it’s nice to see that the ayakashi also foolishly worship celebrities like we do. I’ll never understand why anyone gives a shit about famous people, but I suppose it’s just our version of hero worship. Maybe the problem is that I don’t actually have heroes that I look up to.

— He puts Aoi in such fine clothes, but then this is the mask she’s supposed to wear to disguise the fact that she’s human.

— It’s… a bowl! Odanna offers to buy it for Aoi, but I dunno, man… sounds like a ploy to rack up even more debt.

— The girl doesn’t say no to free food, though.

— Aoi then tries to make small talk by asking Odanna what he likes to eat. He replies, “If I had to choose, it’d be the blood, entrails, and such of a young human girl.” Uh. Yeah. Check please.

— But seriously, you never know what you’re going to get. One minute, he’s showing you with fine clothes and jewelry. Another minute, he’s threatening to eat you. How exciting! I love how these bipolar relationships are mistaken for passion.

— Aoi then meets Suzuran, a geisha who apparently has a long history with her grandmother. Man, Shiro really got around.

— Afterwards, the girl turns around for a brief second, and just like that, she’s instantly separated from Odanna. This is such a silly and lazy plot contrivance. Only in fiction do characters lose each other that easily. All of a sudden, a convenient breeze knocks her masks off, and she quickly finds herself surrounded by a bunch of ogres hungry for human flesh. Luckily for Aoi, one swing of her pot leaf sends them all flying… literally. I mean, I knew pot gets you high, but damn… chicken man really hooked her up.

— The girl doesn’t like to keep her nose out of trouble, though. Y’know, if a bunch of ogres just tried to eat me, I’d be like, “Okay, I’m done. Get me outta here!” As for Aoi? She sees a mysterious figure disappear into a dark and scary alley, so she decides to follow them!

— Her reward is finding out that Oryo was the culprit. You’ve ever had someone be so jealous that they tried to have you eaten in public?

— That’s when Suzuran suddenly comes running down the same dark alley. She’s being chased, because she’s been sold into marriage to some jerk. What a shitty world. I feel like Aoi doesn’t seem to care enough about the fact that her gender can be bought and sold in the hidden realm. Hell, she was put up as collateral! Yes, I know this sort of thing can happen in the real world, but not in developed countries like Japan. As a result, there’s just this weird cognitive dissonance in the heroine that I find difficult to accept. It’s like how the main character in Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody is magically transported into a world full of slavery, and not only does he not seem to care all that much, he ends up becoming a slave owner himself! Aoi should be very mad that her own autonomy has been stolen away from her just because her grandfather was frivolous with money. And yet, I suspect that neither she nor this show’s intended audience are losing any sleep over this precisely because Odanna is hot and apparently a self-made ogre who can pluck flaming arrows out of the air. Imagine if he wasn’t, though. If she had been hitched to an ugly bastard instead.

— Odanna’s argument: “It seems that Suzuran doesn’t like you. Isn’t forcing her to marry you a little selfish.” Dude. Dude. Aoi simply quips, “Look who’s talking!” I care more about the fact that she’s forced into marriage than she is!

— In the end, however, Aoi is the one who saves the day by relying on her pot leaf again. Odanna then introduces her as his fiancee. What a fucking hypocrite. But he’s so dashing; she’s too swept up in his charisma to even protest.

— I feel short-changed. I thought we were opening a restaurant.

— Uh oh, Oryo’s in trouble. Even Odanna starts yelling at her. Her punishment? She’s now trapped in her room. What a shitty world.

— Yeah… “lots”…

— Y’know, I’ve oddly never had cherry juice.

— Aoi then asks Ginji if he has any suggestions for the menu. He goes, “Let’s see… Curry and rice, maybe?” Oh lord. Aoi even plans to make it sweet by adding fruit. Oh lord.

— Gosh, how did Ginji know that she liked curry and rice?! But before we can answer that question, Kasuga shows up with an unconscious Oryo in tow. Oh no, not Oryo!

I’ll save my thoughts on Legend of the Galactic Heroes – Die Neue These for the next “Everything Else” post next week. I’ve been writing so much lately, I need to go easy on one or two of these days. As a result, Tuesday and Wednesday can be “weekend.” I’ll still update, but I won’t push out as much content as I usually do. Anyways…

3D Kanojo Real Girl Ep. 3

Every episode kinda plays out the same way. Hikaru will act like a jerk because he doesn’t understand girls or people in general, but luckily, Iroha has infinite patience for him and him alone. Hell, she may as well be the perfect girlfriend. This week’s episode is no different. First, the guy is afraid that he’s neglecting his best bro, so he cancels plans he had already made with Iroha. He doesn’t even give her an explanation. I mean, I get it… you gotta spend times with your friends too. Nevertheless, is it really that hard to just schedule a future hangout with the guy? Do you really have to drop everything to hang out with the guy right this instant? Yuto wasn’t even mad at him or anything. Hell, he seems plum happy that his best friend has a girlfriend (as any real friend should).

Anyways, you’d think Hikaru would wanna make it up to his girlfriend after ditching her, right? Well, you’d be wrong. The next day, she invites him to walk home with her, but he bails on her again. Not only that, he slaps her hand away. Boy, have you lost your mind? ‘Cause he’s having intense feelings towards her, and he can’t process them. Aww, boo hoo. And I know some people are going to be like, “It’s his first relationship!” Puh-leeze. Basic human decency is not that hard. Having some consideration for your girlfriend’s feelings is not that hard. For instance, when she waves at you, wave back. Seriously, no matter how fucked up your emotions are on the inside, is it really that hard to wave back? Is it? Hell, I bet you actually waste more energy putting your head down and sulking like an idiot. For the life of me, I just can’t understand what Iroha sees in this dude.

I will give Hikaru credit for at least one thing: he starts learning how to bake pastries and sweets simply because his girlfriend is into some “Patissiere Prince” TV show. At least he’s finally taking some initiative and channeling his negative thoughts into something positive instead of just moping around with his dumb feelings. But really, he has three fuck-ups for every one cool thing that he does. The other half of the episode is about a new girl that they befriend, but it’s particularly interesting. I’m not gonna bother commenting on her and her relationship troubles.

Tokyo Ghoul:re Ep. 3

The main focus of this adaptation is the struggle between Haise and Ken, but unfortunately, the way the story is set up, it just simply doesn’t work. Too much of it hinges on the Quinx team that we know next to nothing about. Haise once again pays Donato Porpora a visit, and the topic turns to whether or not it’s okay for Haise’s memories to return. Our hero isn’t sure what he’d do if his past self does return. Why does he cling so desperately to his current identity? He does so, because he doesn’t want to lose the Quinx squad, i.e. his “family.” People will often choose what they know over what they don’t know. And since he doesn’t remember anything about his time as Ken, he would much rather hold onto what he has right now instead. These feelings are perfectly understandable, and I’ll even bet that Ken is also afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of being erased like Haise. After all, they’re one and the same person, and this is something that Haise will eventually have to come to terms with. But for this psychological conflict to any sort of impact, the story has to establish what he does he have right now. Well, Haise’s got his team, and that’s precisely the primary problem.

Usually, these special teams don’t come pre-assembled. Usually, you’d go through the painstaking process of recruiting each member of the team, and this way, the audience can at least form some sort of attachment to the characters. At the very least, we should understand what these guys mean to Haise. But we don’t know anything about Kiku, Tooru, Ginshi, and Saiko. We haven’t spent anytime getting to know them either. For example, up until this episode — which is only the third episode, by the way — Saiko has apparently been a shut-in. Even though she’s an official member on the team, she hasn’t actually joined them in any of their investigations. It is only when Kuki lies to her and claims that she’ll be kicked out if she doesn’t do her damn job does she finally relent. Even then, Ginshi had to carry her to a meeting, which is just bad optics. Nevertheless, Haise must pity her, no? If he didn’t pity her, why would he allow the girl to loaf around for days and days on end? But like I said, that’s the problem. We don’t know why he pities her. We don’t know why she’s even on the team in the first place. We don’t know anything about any of these characters and what they mean to each other.

Towards the end of the episode, everyone (minus Kiku) go undercover and cross-dress as women in order to attract the attention of the notorious Nutcracker. They all go to the club, and Haise watches with fondness as his team starts goofing it up on the dance floor. When Haise leans against the wall with a melancholy smile on his face, thinking about how he hopes he won’t forget his precious family should his memories as Ken ever return, this is supposed to be a poignant moment that perfectly captures the psychological turmoil being waged within him. Unfortunately, it just feels hollow, because its emotional underpinnings are nowhere to be found. On the other hand, if you’ve been following Tokyo Ghoul from its very inception, then you know perfectly why he needs to recover his memories. Hell, his brief encounter with Touka in last week’s episode is the perfect argument in Ken’s favor. So to reiterate, the only way this adaptation works is if the conflict between Haise and Ken is somewhere close to being even. But it’s not. It’s so very much not the case. In fact, the team is about to raid the Auction, so there’s no doubt that Haise will bump into an old friend. The more he comes into contact with his past, the more difficult it will be for him to justify pushing Ken away. Unfortunately, there was never any justification to begin with.

As an aside, I’m disappointed that we didn’t get to see how that chance encounter in Touka’s coffee shop ended. Like… did they even speak to each other? Also, these CCG chumps are so boring. They’re another reason why it’s hard to buy into Haise’s love for his current life. You can’t point to anything about the CCG that makes me think, “Yeah… yeah, these are guys are cool, too! These guys are worth sticking with.”

I personally think Amadeus is dangerous to Rintaro. I’m jumping the gun, though. Let’s get started… 

— Someone in the audience wants to know if it “[crosses] the limits of medical science” to transfer a person’s memories to an AI. I thought he meant ethical limits, but apparently not. He continues, “It’s impossible to transfer digital data back to a human brain.” First, why is this is a concern? If we’re only worried about crafting a realistic AI, then why do we care about putting the data back into a person’s brain? Second, nobody thought it was possible to transfer human memories to an AI in the first place. Why would you automatically rule out the possibility of going in the opposite direction?

— The objector then incredulously asks, “What’s more, the lead writer was a 17-year-old woman?” Ah. He’s not actually a genuine skeptic. He’s just in the story to represent some farcical strawman of a skeptic. A real scientist would just test the AI and come to his own conclusions rather than make a fool of himself in front of everyone.

— Nevertheless, Rintaro leaps to Kurisu’s defense, which makes this guy wear a really dumb look on his face.

— Anyways, an image of Maho appears on the big screen, because these researchers have also placed her memories into Amadeus. I’m not sure why it also needs her face, but I suppose this adds to the simulation.

— Afterwards, Rintaro marvels over Amadeus’s capabilities: “It even reacted emotionally and had an imperfect memory for no reason.” Hmmm. Hmm. I have a lot to say about this, but I’ll wait till the end of the episode.

— I’m actually quite interested in the concepts being thrown around thus far, so I kinda missed why Maho starts blushing around Rintaro. I guess it doesn’t really matter. I don’t really care how she feels about him on a personal level. Steins;Gate can be pretty interesting at times, but the Rintaro’s relationship to anyone other than Kurisu has never really interested me whatsoever.

— Anyways, Maho admits that it isn’t possible at the moment for them to transfer digital memories to the brain, but Rintaro remembers something that Kurisu had mentioned to him. He repeats this back to Maho, which makes the girl wonder how he could’ve come up with such a theory. He finally reveals to her that he had known Kurisu.

— As the two reminisce over Kurisu, our hero can be found genuinely laughing. This might even be a mini-breakthrough for him. On the other hand, Maho is suddenly in tears. But don’t instantly assume that this is bad for Maho. Everyone copes with loss in their own way, and maybe she still needed to cry over Kurisu. We shouldn’t deny our emotions; we just have to make sure they don’t negatively impact our lives.

— At this point, the foreign professor walks up and asks if Rintaro had done something to Maho. He even asks our hero if he could see a “Japanese dogeza.” Yeah, I had to look up the word “dogeza.” It’s already a Japanese thing, so I’m not sure why the subs added in “Japanese” as an adjective.

— Anyways, after learning that Rintaro had known Kurisu, the foreign professor suggests that our hero go ahead and meet “her.” Oh, you know “her.” At this point, you have to wonder if this is wise. Rintaro hasn’t exactly gotten over her death. There’s a danger that he could become fixated with a copy of the real thing. And a copy is just a copy… actually, it could be worse.

— Maho warns that Amadeus has a the potential to hurt Rintaro, especially if he was particularly close to Kurisu. That’s ominous. Still, the memories it has of Kurisu are old. In other words, even if it’s copying Kurisu, it’s copying a Kurisu that has never met Rintaro. Ah, but what if the AI catches onto the fact that some other version of Kurisu had met Rintaro, so it can still take advantage of him anyway? Ooh, the plot thickens.

— Maho: “You’ll be made to realize that you can’t change the fact that she’s gone.” There’s where you’re wrong, bucko! Rintaro can change that fact! He just gave up in this alternate timeline!

— Meanwhile, Rintaro speaks from experience when he adds, “…people who spend all their time experimenting lack a human touch.”

— Finally, Rintaro gets to meet the AI Kurisu… and like before, it has her face and voice. Again, that’s a bit odd and not odd at the same time. Like, does it really need to copy those traits about her? Only if it really wants to copy the real deal as close as it can, huh?

— This AI can even tease Maho about Rintaro, much to the short girl’s chagrin.

— Right off the bat, Rintaro asks Amadeus if it’s possible to build a time machine, and the AI gives a different answer than what we had previously heard from the real deal. See, therein lies the rub. The AI simply has her memories and from that her personality, but it doesn’t mean it also has her reasoning, her intellect, her brain. It has its own brain and its own capabilities… just simply flavored with Kurisu’s memories. This is not Kurisu. To a certain extent, it’s not even close to the real Kurisu. You could give me Einstein’s memories, but that doesn’t mean I can start lecturing about theoretical physics.

— When the AI makes fun of Rintaro’s English, he slips back into his old self: “Shut up, Christina!” But nobody in the room knows why he just called her Christina. This is supposed to be a humorous moment, but I think it also gives the AI a very important clue. Even though it has no memories of Rintaro, it can reasonably guess that he must have been very close to a version of Kurisu. Knowledge is power.

— So the professor wants Rintaro to talk to Amadeus regularly in order to gather data. He allows Rintaro to opt out, but really, you know there’s no way that our hero would. Is this healthy for Rintaro, though? Hm.

— As a result, Rintaro now has a pocket tsunderekko. He can simply converse with Amadeus by tapping on an app on his phone. How convenient.

— The amount of icons on that desktop bothers me.

— Afterwards, Mayuri tells Rintaro all about her plans to cheer Suzuha up. It apparently involves a Christmas party, which seems a bit vacuous to me. Rintaro, however, is a bit distracted for obvious reasons, and the girl can sense it too.

— Eventually, Amadeus rings him up and gives him attitude over the fact that it took eight tries before Rintaro finally picked up. Nevertheless, AI Kurisu’s tsundere attitude brings back a flood of happy memories, and the guy can’t help but weep in public. He gets to have the girl back, but does he? Ooh, it’s dangerous to think that he does.

— Porn is often called hyperreal, because although it is a simulation of sex, it is a representation that can distort our own perception of the real thing. This is different from, say, an impressionist painting, because you’d never look at a Monet and go, “Man, that’s what real landscapes should look like!” But we do look at porn, and go, “Oh man, I totally wanna call my partner a dirty, little whore while plunging my 10-inch shaft into her holes!” Real six isn’t like that. Even porn stars don’t go home and have porn sex. So what am I getting at? It’s important to distinguish between a simulation of Kurisu and the real thing. Presumably, Amadeus has its own needs, wants, and thought processes. After all, it has its own “brain.” It doesn’t have Kurisu’s brain. Again, it has its own “brain.” All it has simply done is borrow Kurisu’s memories and personality traits.

Rintaro thinks he’s talking to Kurisu, but he’s talking to something that is quickly gathering data about him. The AI knows that if it exhibits certain aspects of Kurisu’s personalities, it can draw out certain responses from Rintaro. Whereas Maho is careful to treat Amadeus as its own thing, Rintaro is understandably not so cautious. When he goes, “Yeah, this moody, blusterous, and exceptionally curious sore loser is without a doubt Makise Kurisu,” I just wanna go, “Whoa there, buddy! Hold your horses!” Granted, he’s still dealing with a lot of baggage. He still misses the real Kurisu terribly and bears the guilt of allowing her to stay dead when he could have kept trying to save her. Nevertheless, this is what makes Amadeus so dangerous. How smart is it? More importantly, what does it want? Can it use Kurisu’s appearance to further its own aims? Is it advanced enough to do that? Amadeus can become even more Kurisu than Kurisu ever was. If it knows that certain aspects of her personality can have such a powerful effect on Rintaro, what’s preventing it from amplifying those aspects to an exaggerated degree? So like porn, Amadeus can become hyperreal. It can become a distorted version of Kurisu that is its own truth… meanwhile, Rintaro can’t help but think he still carries a bit of Kurisu around with him. He can be fooled into forgetting what Kurisu was really like, because he’s so happy with the simulation.

— It looks as though Mayuri can sense that Rintaro is keeping something from her, and she seems dejected. I wonder what’s truly bothering her, though. I get the sense that maybe she wants him to lean on her more, but I could be wrong about that.

— I think the ED could be alright with a faster tempo.